Eating Disorders & Feelings of Shame

and I got, though you can always email us. We love hearing from you. Hello, Outweigh podcast dot com and a fellow listener, so just like you listening right now, Sarah sent this in and I thought, I want to read this email on the podcast as encouragement for others listening. And Sarah is the reason why we do this podcast. You listening right now, that is why we do this. I assume maybe you're taking in our episodes, hopefully over the weekend if you need it, or maybe one day

during the week when you're on a walk. But it's just that one sliver of encouragement throughout the week. Hopefully you have multiple slivers of encouragement happening and coming from different resources and places and people. But Outweigh, like our hope. Lisa and I both just want you to at least have that. If you don't have those others, you at

least have Outweigh that you can count on for. You know, fifty minutes of something that is going to make you not feel alone is going to give you that extra bost of encouragement that you need to keep going because I know firsthand that living with an eating disorder or any disordered eating behaviors that alter your life, it's exhausting and it can feel lonely and there's a lot of shame. So we're gonna get into some of that today. But like I said, we're going to start off with an

email from Sarah. She said, Hey, I just wanted to thank you for this podcast and being a safe place for people like myself who are recovering from disordered eating. Throughout the pandemic and the last few years, I unknowingly developed many disordered eating habits and it started to significantly

impact my physical health. I've been listening since the beginning and I've learned that this is my absolute safe space to listen, knowing that you won't allow negative body talk, suggestive behaviors that could be harmful to those in recovery, and overall a healthy way to respect and learn about our bodies. I noticed the impact when I listened to an episode of another podcast yesterday and could start picking

up disordered discussion. Because of your podcast, I knew it wasn't healthy to continue to listen, so I skipped that episode altogether. Prior to outweigh I probably would have continued listening to pick up on tips and further connect that eating disorder behavior. I'm so so thankful for the work that you'll do your friend Sarah, which Sarah, thank you

for sharing that. And that's what we want this to be again, A safe place, your encouragement, a place where you're not going to feel any judgment, a place where hopefully you won't get triggered. I say that because sometimes I'm not always perfect and I might say something that might throw someone. That's why I don't ever do episodes alone. Lisa and I weren't able to connect this week, so

here we are. It is just me and I don't consider myself to be an expert in any way, shape or form, And I'm going to be sharing things today that are from experts that we know and trust and hopefully will yes be that sliver of encouragement that you need as you go into this weekend, this week ahead. And I just want to, you know, make sure you'll know that if if you're new to the podcast, I'm

not the expert. Lisa is the registered dietitian that has an emphasis in eating disorders and it's her passion and she is just very wise and knowledgeable when it comes to this field. And we have Cat de Fata on at times, he's a licensed therapist. We have other experts that come and bring their amazing wealth of knowledge to us where I feel safe talking with them because I know that if I say anything triggering, they're gonna they're

gonna call me out. Because I host Four Things with Amy Brown, and that's a podcast I've done for a few years now, way longer than Outweigh, And there is a time in my career where I have said things either on the podcast or on the Bobby Bones Show that have been triggering and toxic and I didn't realize I was spreading disordered topics or encouraging people to engage in disordered behavior, having disordered discussion kind of like Sarah said in the email, she was listening to an episode

of another podcast and immediately she could start picking up on the disordered talk and she was able to shut it down. Like Taylor Swift said in her documentary or little movie thing that she put out, she sometimes has to change the channel. And that's literally what Sarah did with that podcast is she skipped that episode altogether. She was able to shut it down. She changed the channel before it got into her little head or big head I guess I should say, and started to impact her

day because I used to do that. I would pick up on things from other people, but then I was the person also delivering the things for people to pick up on. And I don't like that that's part of my past. But also I'm thankful for it, because I'm thankful for how I've evolved and that there's been growth and that I have proof of that and that we're allowed to change and again evolve. If you're not evolving,

you're dead. I had some girlfriends over a couple of weeks ago for my birthday, and that was like our theme of the night, and we were talking about ways where we've grown, and then we would all like say together out loud, if you're not evolving, you're dead. So I just want to give you that quote as well. And everybody evolves in their own time, eating disorder recovery or disordered behavior recovery. It takes a lot of work, and you are on your own timeline, So don't feel shame.

And if you're not where I am now in what I consider to be full recovery. But honestly, I still have thoughts in my brain like I don't know will I ever be back in the throes of this. I don't know. I hope not. And I'm thankful for the tools that I have in my toolbox that will hopefully keep me where I am and I can continue to be an encouragement to each of you and be that that story of hope. Because I never thought I would

be this person. I just thought this was going to be something that I had to live with the rest of my life. And it was daunting and tiring and exhausting and frustrating and sad and depressing and all the things. It was low On the outside, people probably saw me as high, but in my personal private moments at home, it was very very very low and so many feelings of shame. Which leads me to the next thing that I'm going to share with you, which is from one

of my favorites, Jennifer Rowland. We've had her on the podcast multiple times, we talk about her all the time. I follow on Instagram. She is just awesome. Now. She is an eating disorder therapist, and she put up a blog post called Eating Disorders and Feelings of Shame, and I'm just gonna read it. Like I said, we don't have an expert on as a guest today, but I'm going to bring the expert to you. And as you're walking,

I want you to take in these words. If you're walking, or as you're sitting, or you're running errands, or you're doing things at your house, however you listen to podcasts. I just listen to so many podcasts while I walk that I picture you listening out there right now walking. But you don't even have to be moving while you listen to this at all if you do not feel like doing that at all. But for me, that's something

I like to do when I listen to podcasts. So this blog is called Eating Disorders and Feelings of Shame. I shouldn't feel so anxious around food. This shouldn't be so hard. It's my fault that I developed an eating disorder. I'm just such a shallow person. I often see clients struggling with feelings of shame around their eating disorders, thoughts, or behaviors. I've also had clients who express feeling like it was some of their own choices which led them

to develop a neating disorder. The reality is that I've never seen anyone successfully shame themselves into recovery from an eating disorder. Shame actually can cause people to be dishonest, disconnected, and not reach out for support when they need it. The antidote to shame is having the courage to be vulnerable. It's having the strength to reach out to someone and say, actually,

I'm not okay. It's also important to practice self compassion, especially when self critical or shame based thoughts start to come up. The following is an example of how you can start to respond to your eating disorder thoughts with more compassionate ones. It can be helpful to picture how you might respond to a friend or a loved one who was struggling. Eating disorder thought, I shouldn't feel so anxious around food. Compassionate response. It's perfectly understandable that I'm

feeling anxious around food. I'm in recovery from an eating disorder, and this is how my manifests. How can I take the next pro recovery action anyways, Eating disorder thought, this shouldn't be so hard. Compassionate response. If recovery were easy, that my therapist and dietitian wouldn't have jobs. Recovery is definitely tough, but it will get easier with time and practice. Eating disorder thought, it's my fault that I developed a

needing disorder. Compassionate response. No one would choose to develop in eating disorder. They're miserable, the same way that no one would choose to have cancer. However, recovery is a choice that I can keep making in each moment. Eating disorder thought, I'm such a shallow person. Compassionate response. If I were truly shallow, I wouldn't feel so distressed about the fact that I'm fixating on weight. I'm not hello, I'm someone who is in recovery from an eating disorder.

It's perfectly understandable that I'm going to have a tough time with body image as this is one of my symptoms. What can I do to be kind to myself right now? Eating disorder thought, I'm not even sick enough to have an eating disorder. Compassionate response. It doesn't matter what someone weighs, whether they have normal labs or medical complications, or how often they use behaviors. Everyone who is struggling with an unhealthy relationship to food and their body is sick enough

and deserves to get treatment. It's not your fault that you developed an eating disorder. Eating disorders or mental illnesses that are caused by a combination of biopsychosocial factors. They are not choices. You are not weak or a bad person for struggling. You are someone who is doing the best that you can right now with the coping strategies that you have. Reaching out for help when you are struggling is true courage. It takes incredible to say, actually,

I'm not okay and I need support. If you're struggling with feelings of shame around your eating disorder, you are not alone. The more that we can speak up about eating disorders, the more we can start to shatter the shame and stigma again. That's from Jennifer Rawlin. It's a blog post that she put up on her website that's called a Disorders and Feelings of Shame. So if any of those feelings of shame resonate with you, then make

sure you give yourself the compassionate response. You might need to rewind and listen to some of those, or go to Jennifer Rowlin dot com r O L L I N to get this blog so you can print it out, keep it with you, type it into your phone, copy and paste it. Put it wherever you can see those compassionate responses, so that way you have a way to combat the feelings of shame again, stuff like I shouldn't feel so anxious around food. This shouldn't be so hard.

It's my fault that I developed an eating disorder. I'm just such a shallow person. Those are feelings that can be natural. Shame is normal. There's nothing wrong with you. However, it's what you do with it. After you have the thought and you have a person right here, shout out Jennifer that has given you a compassionate response to yourself that will help you change the channel that will help you shut it down. Now. I had again so much shame with my eating disort of I said it earlier,

like there you just it's very lonely. I would binge and purge. I felt like, oh, why couldn't I just not eat instead of being the person that eats so much and then chooses to, you know, get rid of it and purge it in a way, which purging you know, might have been an actual like purge type situation, or it might have been going to the gym for hours on end to try to burn all of the calories. So for me, oh, the weight of shame with the binging, I just felt like I had nobody to talk to

For some reason. I felt like if I just didn't eat at all, that would be easier to talk to someone about, because you know, society understood that better. But the more and more people are talking about binging, the less shame I feel about it, and it feels more normal for me to talk about it. So that being said, I want to share a newsletter that I got from Katherine Hansen. She was a major part of my recovery.

I've never met herror, but I hope that one day I get to tell her thank you for her book Brain over Binge, and for her podcast, Brain over Binge, and for her newsletters that are all about Brain over Binge.

And I feel like since I felt so much shame around the binging that I did, and I had nobody to talk to, and I felt hopeless at times, and it was so hard to give up the binges and rewire my brain, and I'm thankful that Katherine was part of walking me through that, along with Lisa's fork, the Noise program and other tools that I got from other therapy that I have been doing. But I want to

read a newsletter that Catherine sent out. Hopefully it'll be encouragement to y'all and maybe you'll want to go listen to an episode that could help you out if you happen to be someone that is struggling with binging right now, so Katherine wrote, you may feel frustrated that you've reduced your binge eating but haven't fully eliminated it from your life.

So instead of celebrating your progress and making more improvements until the binge eating is gone, you may tell yourself that improvement is not good enough and that you might as well go back to binging more. It's okay to acknowledge that you want binge eating fully gone. Of course you do because it creates pain in your life. However, less binge eating means less pain in your life, and

that's a step in the right direction. Going from binge eating daily, for example, to binge eating once per week leads to so much extra time, energy, money, and peace of mind. Do not let a transition period of less freak Went episodes make you want to return to full scale binging. Instead, allow your experience of additional freedom make you even more motivated to fully recover. For more motivation,

listen to episode Creating Motivation to Stop binge eating. Okay, Amy, here that was the end of Catherine's little short newsletter, But episode of the Brain over Binge podcast is where you can find creating motivation to stop binge eating. And I just felt like somebody out there needs to hear that. And I wish I had had Catherine in my life or a podcast like that to listen to ten, fifteen,

twenty years ago, but I didn't. And here we are, and slowly but surely again, I'm in what I like to consider my recovery, and my hope is that you will all get there too if that's what you need, or you'll be able to stay there, or you'll feel like you have the support, or you'll find the friends that you can talk to about it the right community for you. In the meantime, Lisa and I we want to be that community for you every Saturday Throughoutweigh and

again we do love hearing from you. Thanks again to Sarah who sent that nice email that I read at the beginning of this podcast, and we appreciate it so much. It gives us the encouragement to to just keep going and keep putting out content, and keep putting out episodes and keep sharing because you know, one by one it is making a difference. And I just want each and every one of you listening today to know you are not alone, and if you need support, I hope that

you will find a way to ask for it. There is no shame in what you're going through at all whatsoever. If you want to reach out to us again, the email is Hello Outweigh podcast dot com and I hope you'll have a great rest of your day and we'll see again next Saturday.