I won't let my body.
I'll be out wait everything that I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am, I get, I'm strong, I feel free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful and that will.
Always out way if you feel.
It, but you are, She'll some love too. I give there say go day Ana, did you and die out way? Happy Saturday? Outweigh.
I'm Leanne Ellington, and we are back to follow up last week's conversation, which was all around this common question that I get asked all the time, which is does it get easier? And that is the million dollar question that really doesn't have a simple answer, but we are definitely going to simplify it as much as we possibly can.
So last week we started this important conversation and this week I want a more or let's give you a checklist that you can literally use to make sure that you're teaching your brain ease instead of inadvertently or accidentally
teaching it to work harder. So let's just start there, shall we, So instead of making it so hard and so complex, because let's be honest, there is so much information that confuses us out there nowadays, and let's be honest, everyone is an air quotes expert nowadays too, and of course I'm putting expert in air quotes, but to boot,
every expert is telling you something different to do. And you know, maybe it's count carbs or count calories, or fake it till you make it, or work harder at the gym, and this just confuses the daylights out of us, right, And the general theme is that the world is throwing more diets and exercise plans at a deeper problem. And if you're anything like I was, you might still be trying to outdiet or outsmart a deeper problem. And there's
no shame in that whatsoever. That's why we're having these conversations. But it's also no wonder that one of the most common questions I get asked by, you know, women like you, stressed out dieters, people that are sick of thinking about food is leanne does it ever get easier? And so why is it that you're going strong and then life happens and the slope just gets slippery again, And why
doesn't your brain just keep the path? So let's talk about making it simpler and easier, but in a way that your brain actually deems easier, so that we can stop teaching our brains to do things the hard way, as in, really take the time and energy one time to teach your brain a new language and a new
way of thinking. But it's a language that gets easier the more you practice it, and you get better at it the more you practice it, so that it just becomes who you are versus dieting just gets harder, you get worse at it, and we never get good at it. Right, So let's talk about that kind of thinking for a change, the kind that gets easier. And my simple answer to the question of does it get easier is yes and no,
depending on how you look at it. So yes, it gets easier if you're practicing ease, and no, it never gets easier if you're always practicing hard. And that's why it's so important that you know which one you're practicing, because, as you've learned from everything that we talk about here on this podcast, your brain gets good at whatever we practice.
So if you are making things harder, it's because you're practicing it in a hard way, right, And all you need is some awareness, awareness of how you are practicing the hard way. And really, when I say the hard way, this is how your brain sees it, so that you can shift over to practicing the easy way, as in how your brain and nervous system also sees it. So let's take a look at all the ways in which you might actually be practicing hard. So the first one
is control. So this includes things like restriction, deprivation, punishment, persuasion, accounting, the wagh, the measuring, the micromanaging, the obsession. Okay, that's number one control. Next we have pain. Okay, so this means physical, mental, or emotional pain. It might even mean social or spiritual pain. Right. Practicing anything that is soul sucking, energy robbing, smile stealing, stress inducing, or that you outright do not like or do not enjoy, you're practicing hard
anything that causes And this is number three. Internal discord. Okay, So this includes experiencing guilt or shame or blame. Maybe you're experiencing a lot of comparisonitis or perfectionism or judgment. Maybe it's just self criticism, right, and there's definitely we talk about that a lot on this podcast. But that internal discord, if that's what you're practicing, you're practicing hard.
Number four is extremism.
So this means all the black, white, all in, all out mentality, rightly, like you're either all in or you're all out, using language labeling things as good bad, right?
Wrong? Should? Should it? Always?
Never? Or committing to anything that causes you to sacrifice your happiness, peace of mind.
Or freedom for results.
Okay, So if you have extremism built into your plan, you're practicing hard, your brain will never get good at it.
Number five too fast or too much?
Okay, So that might be that zero to sixty mentality like too much, too soon, or unsustainable expectations or unrealistic expectations, so you know that lose twenty pounds and twenty minutes kind of thought process, or again, just that zero to sixty mentality. So if it's too fast or too much, you're practicing hard. But also the flip side number six, if it's too slow or too little.
Okay.
So this might show up in the form of being kind of noncommittal, right or maybe you're dabbling.
In a bunch of things and you're staying like interested in it.
But you've never committed to it, like you've never fully committed to solving the problem. And then in turn, you're living in the gray, so you're like you're not in, but you're not fully out either. And for me, honestly, sometimes like living in the gray feels harder than when I'm totally off, you know, or when I'm out, or when I'm done, or when I'm resigned. So too slow or too little could be considered hard to your brain. The other way you practice hard is if something has
and this is number seven, diminishing return. So anything that gets harder the more we practice it, or it just never gets easy, or anything that we get worse at the more that we practice it, or we just never seem to get good at it, you're going to get those diminishing returns. And it's never going to be the air quotes thing that's going to heal your struggles.
Right, And so those are.
Seven main things that your brain could be doing that's practicing hard. And this is not the only list, right, This is not the the you know, cumulative, end all, be all list. There's other things that are not on this list, but these are the most common and honestly the most sneaky and the easiest traps to fall into if you're not aware. Luckily, though, you are now aware of all of those ways that you can practice hard.
So now let's take a look at what does your brain need to practice easy or practice ease?
Okay, so number one is freedom.
So this is about feeling like we have a choice or an abundance of choices, right, feeling like we have influence over ourselves and our behaviors rather than those behaviors controlling us, or feeling like our brain controls us or food controls us.
Right.
Feeling free, like not chained or confined by rules and restrictions and especially diets. Right, So your brain needs to practice freedom, which is again the opposite of choice being taken away from you. Number two, though, might sound a little bit counterintuitive now that I just said freedom, But number two is actually structure. Okay, so here's the reality. Our brains desire and crave predictability and structure. Our brains want to know that we can like count on it,
like count on a system or like a plan. Right, But this is very different. The idea of structure is very different than control or hard and fast rules or feeling imprisoned by that structure. Right, And so the best structure for your brain is going to be based on principles and thought processes that are in alignment with you and your values, but that also make you feel free.
Remember that, like I was saying, too much control, and your inner rebel will chime in and have a field day and be like, Nope, we are not doing that.
So just a little side note.
One of the things I talk about with my clients but right before they graduate, so we can really hone in their recipe. One of the things I talk about with my clients right before they graduate, so we can really hone in their recipe, is this idea of like, how can we give you the structure that your brain needs, but with freedom built into the beginning, so you're getting that happy medium. And it really is like a delicate dance. It's a recipe that you need to create.
Okay.
So number two is structure. Number three is flexibility. Okay, And so we can't feel totally confined in or boxed in by that structure. It has to allow us to also experience freedom while we go and enable us to adapt to our lives as we go. And that's why you know, flexibility is the opposite of hard and fast rules. And when you're in that black and white, all or nothing mindset. Flexibility doesn't look like a good thing. It
looks like you air quotes fell off the wagon. And so that's why it's like we've got to get aligne with this concept of like no flexibility is part of it from the beginning, or else this plan isn't going to work for me. Right, So number three is flexibility. Number four is consistency. Okay, So if you're not able to get yourself to do it consistency consistently, I should say you are never going to get the returns. You're not going to get the return on your investment of
time and energy and heart and soul. Right, and so you are off working in minimums as opposed to maximums zero to sixty, and working in minimums in small steps and baby steps, in small doses, and doing things consistently rather than working in maximums and doing it sporadically, or let's be honest, not doing it at all. And so consistency trump's intensity all day every day. So it's consistency over intensity, which is obviously not a lot of what
we're doing. A lot of times people are really thinking that intensity is the way, like that go harder, go home.
Kind of mindset. And you know, consistency is the key, and consistency.
Over intensity is the key, which is the opposite of what most people are doing, and definitely the opposite of like diets and like the weight loss mentality and stuff like that. So consistency is number four. Sustainability. Okay, anything that we can see ourselves doing not just a week from now, but a month from now, three months from now, twelve months from now, right, and anything that doesn't fit into this category is bound to be a time limited thing and will eventually get harder.
The more we practice it. Right.
And so one of the things I talk to my clients about is like, first of all, I do care, Like I'm like, yes, I care about the short run, Like I want you to be happy in the short run.
But like, instead of thinking about, you know, forty five or fifty five year old version of you, who do you want to be and how do you want to be feeling at sixty five seventy five, let's get optimistic one hundred and five so that you're not thinking about this and you can deal with this now and not have to live in it forever, live like working on this forever because let's be honest. Most of the people I talk to, they're like, leanne, I have been thinking
about this for so many years. I've been trying to figure it out for years, like I just want to be done right. And that's where I invite you to start thinking ahead, like not just what you could do sustain like right now. And there is a time and a place. There's short term experiments where you can say, Okay, I'm going to do this. It's not a forever thing. I'm just gonna do it for three days. But a
lot of women aren't thinking like that. In like they just commit to the next diet, the next diet, and they don't think about, like, who do I want to be a year, five years, ten years from now, so that I'm not dealing with this anymore. And that's where the sustainability piece of the puzzle comes into play. Number six is practicality, and so it fits within the constructs of our lives and our circumstances and our wants and our needs as opposed to trying to force it or
overhaul our life right. And so anything that forces us to uproot our lives or sacrifice the things that are important to us is.
Not going to be part of a long term solution.
And it will never get easier the more you practice it, which is again the definition of what your brain needs to consider something easy like does it get easier the more I practice it?
Right?
Number seven And a lot of people don't think about this, but it's really important.
Is happiness.
Anything that adds joy or ease or peace or happiness or creates energy is what your brain needs.
Now here's the thing. It might not always be like.
Pie in the sky, like happy dance joyful, right, but it just can't, at the very least take it away. So if anything is taking away your happiness or making you miserable beyond the scope of this episode, it's creating something called negative neuro associations, and your brain will never learn it long term. And then number eight, I think is one of the most important ones, but it's also kind of the simplest.
Is it's got to create actual.
Habit creation, Okay, And here's what I mean by that again, And you might think I sound like a broken record, but it's so important. Anything that gets easier the more we practice it, or maybe it's easy from day one, and anything that we get better at it the more we practice it, or that maybe we just start off good at it. This is what's going to enable us to keep practicing it and get the consistency and get.
The reps that you actually need to create a habit. Right, and that is how you practice ease.
And if you're anything like me, and remember I was dieting since I was a kid, this is not the stuff that usually comes alongside dieting or thinking about food twenty four to seven, right, that the other list when we're talking about all the ways you practice hard, that's what comes alongside that, right, And that's why you need a whole new way of thinking and are really, you know, taking a radically different approach, which again might seem foreign
to a lot of women listening to this right now, right, But here's also an important side note, and I'll get kind of geeky, but not too geeky. On a brain level, short term habits and those long term like always have them, actually become a habit in your brain kind of habits. Short term and long term habits live in two separate
parts of your brain. And so the long term part of your brain is driven by ease and pleasure, or at least can't be experiencing pain and when your brain experiences the opposite of those things, So if it's experiencing you know, resistance or force or persuasion like you're persuading yourself to do or not do something, or eat or not eat something, or constant.
Hunger for example. Right, that's another example of you know, hard your.
Brain is essentially going to say, like, don't worry, brain, we don't have to move this over to the long term storage part of our brain. She's not going to be doing that very long, right, And nine times out of ten, your brain would be right, right, unless you're just eking out willpower to do it. So again, it's just science, right, And that's when it comes to that question of does it ever get easier?
Well, again, the answer is yes and no.
It gets easier if you practice easier, and it never gets easier if you're practicing harder. And so we become whatever we practice, and it really does become a matter of what are you practicing. Are you practicing ease or are you practicing hard? And yeah, again, you can go play the focus on your physical appearance game over and over again and never break the cycle, or you can do what we're doing right here, and just really change
your thinking so that you can get different results. But if you want to do differently and behave differently, you must think and believe differently. It really is as simple as that, and the truth is and there's no shame in it. But most women won't do this right. Most women go start looking for the next diet or the next game of control myself, or the next you know, action item they can check off like.
A tick box, right. But those that do that, like stop the.
Definition of insanity of you know, doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results, they're the ones that are going to find that the journey to healing actually begins and the suffering ends and all of the good stuff that comes on the other side of healing that road can finally begin.
So that is it for today, outweigh, And if you want to.
Learn more about how to turn off the part of your brain that's obsessed with food or obsessed with your weight and rewire your own brain for peace and freedom, then head on over to Stressless Eating dot com and sign up to watch the Stressless Eating sneak preview where I've literally peeled back the curtain and walked you through
the exact strategy. I teach my clients to heal themselves from the all or nothing diet mentality for good, but without restricting themselves or punishing their bodies, and definitely without ever having to use words like macros, low carb or calorie burn.
And so is there for you over at stressless eeating dot com and if you like, outweigh.
I actually have another podcast here on iHeart where I talk about all of this self image and body image stuff but from the perspective of where brain science intersects faith and so it's called What's God Got to Do with It?
And you can access it here on iHeart or wherever you get your podcasts. So that's it for today. I'm Leanne Ellington and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.