I won't let my body out be outwait everything that I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am.
I get, I'm strong, I feel free, I know every part of me.
It's beautiful.
And that will always out way if you feel it but your hands and there she'll some love to the h I get. That's take you one day and did you and die out way?
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here?
Hello, Hello, It's Leanne and.
We're to the final ingredients of our finding your True Value and Worth cookie that we're making.
And the question is do you know your true value and worth?
And hopefully as you've worked through each of these ingredients the last five Saturdays or today's day five, you know you'll have a better understanding of what it'll like for you to work towards knowing your worth and your value and so ingredient five is your version of self endorsement, Nellian, What does that mean?
You'll notice there's so much crossover even what we talked about last week with self worth. But we're wired to just care what other people think about us. You know, we are I care what you think about me? Amy, That's and I'm unapologetic about it because I'm human, right, and you care what people think about you. It's just
how we're wired. But what happens is is when we don't have a sense of self and we don't feel what I call self endorse like ability to see the value and worthiness in ourselves, and we're so dependent on getting it from other people. When it's so out of balance like that, it can be really harmful. And so this idea of self endorsement is again, it's not even possible to not care what other people think about you.
But what is possible is for you to elevate how you care and what you think and how you value yourself and the way you see and perceive yourself and be your own champion and be your own supporter and not in this kind of You know a lot of people think, well, is that is that cocky? Is that condescending? Is that braggadocious? Is it vain? You know? And I say, no, that your self endorse self just knows who you are. You're unapologetic about it. But then we talked about this
distinction last week too, about desire versus require. It's like, yes, absolutely desire that people also see the beauty and the value in who you are, but not solely relying on it to feel it for yourself, being able to self endorse self, you know, validate almost not exclusively, but primarily, and it will create so much more resilience in you. It will enrich your relationship with yourself, enrich your relationship
with others. You'll be able to actually receive compliments and endorsement from other people because it's aligned with how you perceive yourself. So really it's a self perception conversation.
I'm just picturing someone finally getting the hang of this me included, and like hearing someone say something back to them that they already recognize in themselves and receive it and just be like, yeah, you know.
Yeah, absolutely totally. Yep, I've read received that.
Yeah, that's sounds that right. I've been working on that, thank you for sure.
Yeah.
And it's compartmentalized, and it's such a journey, Like I don't want anybody think it's this like one and done thing. I mean, you remember, Amy, a few weeks ago, I came to you and we were experiencing something and something happened in my life and I was sharing with you and I was like, I don't have a muscle for this, so I'm not self endorsed in this capacity, like I'm self endorsed in this area of my life, been in
this I'm not. So I'm still figuring out what self endorsement right now in this capacity, and this circumstance looks like and giving ourselves permission to be coachable and imperfect and on a journey and never like this. I believe mastery is this lifelong conversation, so you know, and finding next levels of yourself, like what do they say, new level, new devils, So as you're going to the next level of your life and new challenges, you might have to
find that next level of endorsement. But it's available to you. But again, it will never be found in Oh. I hope that when I get to a certain weight, then I'll finally see the beauty of who I am. And I hope when you know somebody else thinks I'm cool, then I'll finally feel cool. No, you've got to be able to generate that within yourself.
I feel like you have to be your biggest cheerleader, and that's not always easy. But I'm like even picturing, like inside my head little cheerleaders with their little pom poms, and sometimes they have to like congratulate me, or when I do something well, I try to acknowledge it and exercise that muscle. So therefore it feels more natural and more normal. Like you were saying, it's not a bragging thing.
It doesn't even have to be out loud. You could be in your journal or just inside your head with your little cheerleaders. But that's how I picture it, or how I've had to ever since. I mean Land once gave me homework to, you know, just sort of brag about myself in my journal or write down all the things that you've done well this week and that you're.
Yeah, what are you doing well? What are you proud of?
And I journaled through that, and I think that that's when the little little cheerlead in my head had to show up to be like, Okay.
Yeah, we can do this right well.
Our brains are wired towards something called a negativity bias. So it is just as our brains are wired, we are wired to look for what we're not doing, who we're not being, what's not working all of that. It's also you know, any of us that are high achieving and we're go getters. Like again, you might be waking up thinking like what did I not get done on my to do list? Like what where am I behind?
And that's okay, but that's why it's also important. So it's not like those those negative air quotes, negative voices or critical voices are going to just magically go away, right, But what we want to do is we want to build us a part of our self image that shows up with little pomp poms, you know, like our little cheerleader with pomp poms in the face of those other parts of us where we might be looking at where what we're not doing, or who we're not being, or
what we're not proud of. Right, But then it's also a matter of like this reframing can be really powerful. So for example, if anybody is listening to this and they have toxic shame about their past, you know, maybe what they where they think they should be by now, or what they're not doing, or something that happened to them. And I'm not telling you to go paint roses and
butterflies over things that really cause you pain. But sometimes I can look at the pain and I can say, you know what, I'm so proud of who I showed up as in the face of that pain or despite what happened to me or that traumatic experience in my life. I'm so proud of the version of myself I went and like, you know, gritted my way to become so that that didn't happen again, or I was better prepared to handle it. And so again it's a choice, and
it's almost a reframe. But even the same data, the same set of circumstances, we could look at where we you know, let ourselves down or where we air quotes regret things. But again, does that serve us, like can we reframe it and be like, you know what, I don't have to like that that just happened. In fact, it can outright suck. But I'm really proud of this part, or I'm proud of who I am becoming, like be proud in advance of who you are becoming. It's like
almost again drawing that line in the sand. So we do have a choice.
My friend gave me this analogy the other day about something different that we were discussing, and she was talking about when you are driving and looking through the big windshield up ahead of you, and where you're going and all the roads that lie ahead, and it's huge compared to the little rear view mirror that's up in the top center. That you do get to look behind you, but the majority of your drive is spent looking ahead and where you're going. And yes, do you need the
rearview mirror. Absolutely, does it serve you in certain ways, yes, but you could not get to a destination by looking
in the rearview mirror the whole time. And so I just like that picture of if you're starting this journey towards discovering your true value and your worth, Yeah, there's things that are going to be in your rear view mirror, for sure, but I just encourage you in this final ingredient, with the endorsement you believing in yourself and knowing what you're capable of, to look ahead and look at all the different roads out there that you're going to get to explore on and drive on, and you get to
make choices and you're going to go this.
Way or that way.
But it's sort of like the world is your oyster, and there's so much more to offer when you're looking through the big windshield instead of through the tiny rearview mirror.
Yeah, it's such a great analogy and such a great picture. And just imagine yourself driving and you're like, oh, opportunity ahead, opportunity ahead, but you're literally missing them or crashing into them because you're so focused on what's in the rear view mirror. So a lot of us are being held down and held back by shame.
Resent.
We're punishing ourselves for what we didn't do. And to that, I just say, like, it already happened, you know, And again you don't have to like it. But if you're constantly looking in the rear view mirror, you're gonna miss what's ahead of you. But also the way that you're looking in the rear view mirror, if you don't shift your gaze and reframe that, you're gonna look in the front view mirror the same way. It's not going to magically change if you get to a certain weight, gene size, bank,
balanced relationship status, fill in the blank. And I mean that with love.
Yeah, I say this with love and we've received it.
Yes, love Well Leanne five ingredients.
It's like a not a hard recipe, but at the same time it's a hard recipe because you might have to go listen to it over and over or ask yourself some of the questions over and over, but eventually the cookies are going to come out of the oven just right.
Yeah, And you know, I truly believe that it's a recipe that will just always meet you where you are. Like again, and don't look at it like a one and done thing, you know, I'm always looking at like, who do I want to be ten years from now, twenty years from now, obviously looking in the in the front room view mirror as well, but like it will meet you where you are, and it's almost like a
truth telling recipe of who you want to be. Like I feel like sometimes when we look through the goggles of things like bank balance or gene size or what we ate that day, it's a lie. It lies to us, it deceives us, you know. And to me, this is truth, this is love, this is grace, this is acceptance, and it's a recipe that it will get better over time, just like a good chocolate chip cookie recipe.
Yeah.
And I think I said eventually they'll come out just right. And I'm glad you mentioned and too that the work is never over though, so eventually you'll have to start another batch.
Yeah, exactly, and then you'll.
Figure those out too. I think, yeah, the work is never done. It's a journey. I think Ali Fallon had said something one time, either on my podcast or hers, I can't remember where I heard it, and she was talking about how she was in therapy for however long, like a very long time, and one of her friends said something like, well, maybe it's time you find a new therapist, because like, shouldn't you be done with therapy by now? And she's like, what, I don't ever want
to stop working on myself. And so this is just something for you to add to your toolbox when it comes to working on yourself.
These five ingredients. Leanne, Where can people find y?
You can head on over to Leannellington dot com. I'm also Leanne Ellington on Instagram and if you want to hear all about the inside out, nitty gritty of rewiring your brain, you can check out my free master cross over there too.
And I'll brag on Leanne's other podcast. It's called What's God Got to Do with It? And she just had a really cool note from someone that randomly found her podcast that definitely was in a season of life where they really needed a podcast like hers, and they were wrestling with some stuff we still don't know.
Lanna and I were talking.
I wonder how they even found you, but they were so excited because they're part of this other group and they're like, Oh, this podcast is really going to help some of my other peers, and I'm going to share it with them.
And it's just.
Really cool sometimes how people stumble upon some of the work that you're doing, whether it's a podcast or maybe a blog that you have, or maybe you're listening and you've a talk you put up somewhere, or a book you've written or whatever. It's just interesting sometimes. Maybe even those of you listening to outweigh right now how you got here. Maybe you don't even know, but we're glad you're here. And I'm at Radio AM on Socials and we'll see you next Saturday.
Bye bye,