The Evolution of the Insta-Mum

for joining us. As usual, you're joined by Kate and Sophie, and we've got little Archie here in the studio, which is of course Sophie's dog. And so if you have a pretty embarrassing confession about something you've recently purchased for Archie, I do. I'm going to look like an absolute psycho. I've bought him a dog stroller. And this is because he cannot stand to be away from me for longer than really a couple of minutes. I can't be out of his sight. He's obsessed with me at the moment.

So this is basically like a baby stroller, but mini one for dogs. It is so cute. They've got this little area that where you can zip them in. So I mean, I feel like people are going to be looking at me assuming this is a baby, and then getting a surprise when they see a beautiful dog. I am not going for a walk with you. If you're

pushing that, that is so embarrassing. I think it's kind of cool because of course Archie's not allowed to go on walks yet because he hasn't had all this vaccination, so it's a great way that he can come on. So for my little lunchtime walks. Aren't you just teaching him that he's never going to be left alone. I feel like this is going to backfire on you eventually. It's more for my neighbors who can't stand his bloody

howling the whole time. The funniest thing about getting Archie, though, is that I've now somehow teamed up with two other girls. Will connect with two girls who also have the puppies from the same litter, and they have been messaging me saying they have had the weeks from hell. It's like a mom's group online. It's like it just reminds me of what I'll be like as a mum, just bitching about my child. Like yeah, they didn't go to sleep,

and they they're around me all the time. My favorite story this week from you about Archie was the fact that you've had him in this little run that's basically a big cage for him to sleep in, and he managed to climb out of it. Now, Amy, it's not a cage, it's a great sorry, a crag we hate has a rather nasty kind of dat. Anyway, he climbed out of his sleeping enclosure, climbed up the stairs, which you didn't even know he could do, and scratched on your door to come in. Well, it's pretty crazy. I

managed to slide open the sliding door as well. So he's a very very talented dog, very intelligent dog. Well, we were having people vote whether he should have been called Manukah or whether he should have been called Archie. I think he should have been killed Houdini. That's so late, Ken, would you start taking pictures of yourself? Your sister's going to jail. Now, let's get into our first topic, which

is the evolution of the instamum. Now, I've got to say, these types of accounts have been popping up in my feed recently, and I think it's because I'm in my thirties now, and I've got to say I love following these accounts because I feel like a fly on the wall looking into what potentially could be my life in five years time. What a very scary thought. Well, I don't know, you know what I mean, in the next coming years. There always seems to be that stereotypical instamum.

She's always young, blonde, everything's organized, she's got one of those pantries that's got labels over everything. Yeah, and the kids are always pretentious names and immaculately dressed. Yeah. When you say pretentious, they've always got a unique name, don't they. Yeah, so unique name that you've never heard of and is

very marketable. I suppose that is interesting you say that, because then I think quite a number of women have made a niche or a market for themselves by showing what it's really like to be a mum, like that really raw side. Yeah. Well, I feel like there's two kinds of Instagram accounts. You're either the mother that pretends that the child's never vomited or never poos and it's everything's all rosy and perfectly curated, or there is the mum that sort of opens up about what life is

really like as a mum. Yeah. Well, I feel like with the introduction of Instagram Stories, a lot of the mums sort of share a bit more details on the story, but the feed often remains pretty much curated. Yeah, that's true. I was gonna say the reason I thought this topic would be good to talk about is because I was

watching last night Chloe Zepp, who's a massive influencer. She's pregnant with Mitchell Orvil, who's another huge influencer his baby, and they did a house tour and they were showing off the nursery and it was literally like brand deal here, brand deal here, we got this for free, this, this and this, and it just made me think of the money that is involved in being a mummy blogger. Well, they are really turning a baby into a commodity at

the moment, aren't they. As you said, there's so many brand deals to be made, and it's kind of that next evolution for a lot of influences. Yeah, exactly right. So I suppose there's two camps. There's the people that already have the following that they're documenting their life, so it's a natural progression into being an instamum, or there are those people that just take off because they're sharing all their mum hacks and somehow they just make it

big and get a massive following. Well that's a bit like what happened to Tammy Hembro, who, of course we were talking about last week. Tammy actually got famous after she gave birth to her son. I feel like hers is more about being a hot mum, though, because I feel like the most recent well, the accounts that I follow a lot usually very much organizational base. So there's Steph Pace and she has her own planners and her

pantry is just amazing. She has a YouTube channel where she shares all of her organizational tips and I just hang on every one of her stories. I just find it so fascinating. But don't you think it makes other mums feel like shit? Because I wonder if there's this side of it where I know we've spoken before in the past about hate following, and I'm sure there would be a lot of mums who are hate following the instamums.

Oh definitely. There was a study in Canada and it found that social media makes mums feel insecure about their parenting. So it's sort of there's so many different areas that they feel insecure, So they feel like their meals aren't as healthy and yummy, their postpart and body isn't as good, maybe their husband doesn't adore them as much as the other husbands. There's so many different parts that they compare

themselves to. And I suppose this is really damaging when you reflect that a lot of people do suffer from post natal depressions, so it would be really hard sitting there struggling. And then you're going onto Instagram and there's all these people with their beautiful lives and their perfect pantries and everything's clean, and their kids are gorgeous and behaving and sleeping through the night, when in fact, insta mums are very performative. It's not really what's happening. It's

really that sense of comparison, isn't it. I mean, it's the first time in history that we've been able to kind of be a fly on the wall of what mums are doing. So, I mean, you know, back in the day, when you just have your photo album to flick through, you couldn't compare whether your child's birthday party was better than the next. I suppose it also opens up to a lot of judgment on what mums on

Instagram are doing too. Definitely. The thing is with a lot of the YouTubers or instagrammers who were popular before having their baby, you'll find that they document every single stage. So using Sarah's day as an example, she announced that she was having a baby and that it was a complete surprise, and I remember seeing a scene that she put up and she was crying. Well, she had just found out she was pregnant and it was a real shock because she's had pcos, so it was unlikely that

she could have children. Yeah, but he wasn't planned either, so it was a real that kind of scary moment where she's like, oh my goodness this. You know, I'm so happy that I'm having him, but I'm also so scared because I haven't planned this. And I remember thinking, oh, my goodness, what's he going to feel like when he sees this. But I think the bigger part of it was the fact that a lot of these videos, you know,

his name was teased. There are a lot of eyebrows raised about the fact that it was kind of teased to get views and clicks and money. Well, how do you feel about that, because I kind of think, Wow, if I gone through childbirth and I put that video up and it's going to make me eight grand well, bloody, how I deserve it after giving birth to a child. Yeah, it's a hard one because Sarah's Day and other YouTubers like her, they document their whole life and people there's

actually a demand for people to see it. It is hard though, because it comes down to consent and there's ethical reasons, like you know, Fox, he might think it's great at the moment, but what happens when he's fifteen and people are pulling up, Oh, hey, this is you being born, or this is your first birthday, or remember when you did this? And that was embarrassing. And there was actually a kid in the US whose mum was an instant mum and she would not stop sharing photos

of this kid. This kid said, look much, I don't want to be in the photos. Can you stop taking them? And it got to the point where he actually had to buy a hoodie that said don't take my photo on there, because she can hardly upload a photo like that that shows that he's not consenting to it. How old was he? I think he was eight or ten? And this is what This is what makes me think that in the future social media won't be around because there's so many kids. That's a very big state because

they're so let me explain why. Because there are so many kids growing up with it, and it's kind of it'd be nerdy for your parents to do it, you know what I mean, Like whenever there's something your parents do, you don't want to turn into that person. Well, it's funny how things evolve, though, because I remember it was very taboo to actually put pictures of babies on the internet for I mean obviously sinister reasons, and now it's

something that everyone's posts pictures of their baby. I mean, I find it a bit too far when people post the ultrasound shot. I always think that's a bit yung, do you know what though, So back to your point about people leaving social media, I don't know if they'll leave it completely, but I feel like everyone's going to become super private because it's going to become a bit sort of unclassy to put lots of information out about yourself.

And you see it with celebrities. As soon as they find this level of fame, suddenly they become ultra private about their lives, and we're kind of seeing that with some of the big Australian YouTubers, like people like Shany Grimman and Michael Finch. They are sharing less and less about their lives and they're sort of when they post videos, it's back to what they originally posted, all about makeup. So we're seeing this sort of change in the way

people are sharing information about themselves. And on the topic of the children that are unwittingly involved in these Instagram accounts, a psychologists compared it to child stars and they said that these kids kind of find it really hard readjusting to normal life because they're used to getting their photo taken and I suppose thinking about that, coupled with the likes and comments that they also then receive, it could

be very damaging. Well, what do you think of the parents who push their kids into doing those u you know the toy testers. I know Roxy just Senko has been doing that, and I've got two schools of thought on it. I think it's kind of clever in a way because they are setting their kids up to make a lot of money in the future. But then I see the other side where you're also setting your kids up to receive bullying messages or ridicules. Yeah, I agree.

I think that if a child shows genuine interest in wanting to make a channel and being creative, then I think that's fine. But if you're the one fueling the motivations of that child, I think that's a very different story. I don't know. I mean, I don't have children, but I would find it really hard allowing them at you know, six or seven years old, to be putting themselves in

the public sphere open to ridicule and comments. I just think maybe once they're eighteen they can go and do what they want or sixteen, But I just feel like they're too young to be an influencer. Then you've gotta start so young, I know, but I just think there's more to life than being an influencer. I feel like it's But that's the weird thing because back in the day, everyone wanted to be singers, actors, and it's like, yeah, you can keep dreaming, but these kids can actually start

doing it now. But do we think in the future that there will be massive brand deals like there are on offer? I mean, you know, with YouTube, they've already made it more difficult for kids to reach that level of fame, and you know, the monetization has changed, there's changing platforms, so kids are going to make your big TikTok or wherever it is, there's always going to be money there. Just on the topic of kids doing really well online. A YouTuber that we follow is Anastasia kings

North and she's huge and she's from England. We've spoken about her a few times. She actually became She started her channel when she was only eleven, so she's grown it over eight years, which is pretty crazy. Eleven. Yeah, thank god. Well, the thing is she's got a little brother who's about five, and his name is Atticus and he is he appears in a lot of her videos and he's kind of got cult status in the UK. People will spot him when he's out shopping and him

and stuff. Yeah, and he recently launched an Instagram account and I think he got like one hundred thousand follows in the first day. And there was something of felt really I felt really weird and uncomfortable about it, Like I didn't go and follow him. I sort of draw a line. It's a bit creepy. Well, just going back

for a second to the birth vlogs. It's really interesting to analyze because as young women, it's the first time I've ever seen the whole process of childbirth and the lead up and how hideous it looks to be pregnant. And I wanted to myself, is this going to stop women from actually wanting to have kids? What's funny because when you're at school, I remember they used to put that video on and I think it showed a birth and it was very graphic. This is more showing the

process of labor. I mean, I know the one I watched with Sarah's Day, and I've watched Sky Wheatley's blog on birth, and yeah, it did make me think, wow, that looked even seeing the whole newborn stage and just how hellish it must be. I feel like, yeah, it really shows the reality of what it is to be a young mum, and it might be one that does put people off. Well, it was kind of It's kind

of been this unspoken thing, isn't it. You know, you often you'll hear stories from different mums, but now it's so readily available online what it's actually like living with a newborn that I, as you said, I didn't know half that stuff. I didn't know that they woke up every three hours or whatever. The other good thing about it is the fact that a lot of women can then relate to it, Like I feel like if I was going through that stage, it'd make me feel better

that I had someone to connect to. Yeah, I think there is a positive side to it when we're talking about the influencers that are sharing their real sort of mums, not these curated feeds. I think it's really good for people suffering from postnatal depression knowing that other people are struggling through it. And I also think it's a wake up call for maybe young people that want to have kids and then they watch it and they're like, oh,

so that's really what it's like. I agree with you, Kate, because you look at Sky Wheatley, who shared some details about how she was struggling with parenthood, and then you look at her feed and it's this perfectly curated feed where Forest looks perfectly dressed and she's you know, back to a size six, and it didn't show any of the struggle on that feed. What can you put up that is this struggle? Maybe the kid covered in crap and food, maybe, but I don't know if it's gonna

do it. I think the whole setting up photos of kids is a bit weird, you know, having an actual photo shoot with wearing clothes. I saw this so sorry, we're getting flashback us like setting up shoots with soaps. Dog. She's different. It reminds me of an acquaintance that I used to work with and she's recently had a child, and the first photo I saw of her with the child was this perfectly themed photo shoot with hair and makeup, and I just thought that her or the baby for

her and the child. I suppose the baby had makeup on well I don't know, but she had a hell of a lot of hair and makeup done, and I just thought this is so unrealistic, like it just all seemed very staged. Well, that's the whole thing on Instagram. It is all stage, and people begin to think that that's real and that they're failing as a mother because they don't have the perfect oats for breakfast and all

the weird stuff that kids would never ever eat. Do you know what, I've noticed a lot of their instamums. I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older, but they seem to be younger and young. I was talking about Chloe Zepp before, and I was shocked to learn that she's only twenty one. And it made me think, is it because she's grown up so young on social media that she's kind of done everything that now she's like, oh, Okay,

well I'll have a kid. And I'm not inferring that she's having a child to profit off them on Instagram, not saying I think that it's different. I think she's got financial security so she can focus on having kids. Well. Also on Chloe Zepp, she's made the decision not to actually vlog her birth. I think she's still going to have cameras in there, but she's not actually going to talk to the camera while this is all going on.

And it's strange because we're talking about parents profiteering off their children and the debate of whether you should film your child, will you're giving birth your child, et cetera. But I actually feel a bit robbed as a viewer of Chloezep's channel that I won't get to see that. Yeah, but they don't really share that much anyway. They're not really vlogging every week like when Sarah's day did it she was vlogging three times a week, so you felt

like you were on that journey. I'm not surprised they've released a lot of stuff about the baby, but it's the whole psychology of you feel like you deserve to know as a follower because you've seen everything else. Yeah. It's funny because I remember when Sarah's day was close to giving birth and people every time she wasn't sharing on her Instagram stories, they just assumed that she'd gone into labor and she had to be like, no, I'm fine,

I just am tired. I haven't shared anything for a while. Well, we'll have to wait with anticipations. I think Chloe's about to pop, So that's going to be the new instamum to follow. I reckon. Let's get into the reality TV rap of the week. So it seems like things are starting to change amy because I have been so bored with the reality TV on off it. Yes, I am watching Big Brother and I am watching Master Chef, but there is a hole in my heart for some Bachelor

spinoff and we are finally getting it. Yeah. So the fifteenth of July, Bachelor in Paradise is set to drop, and I'm really excited to see how Kieran is going to be portrayed in this series, because he's already warning fans that he's going to come across as a bit of a dick. To be honest. Yeah, well we saw that Abby Chatfield was really interested in Kieran and it seems like things were mutual. But then he was seeing kissing. I think it's Tanil that's been on Bachelor and Paradise before.

I think it was her. It was a girl with long, dark hair. And then there's some explosive blow up at a dinner party, sort of math style. So I can't wait because obviously he had such a good rap on Angie's series, but he seems like he could be a bit of a bad boy. Well, let's be honest, The Bachelor producers can sort of twist anything, can't they They could make they could have made Kieran look bad in

Angie series. And it's funny the ones who were often portrayed badly in the Bachelor or Bachelorette and then they come into Paradise and everyone loves them. Yeah, I'm wondering if there's a deal done with the producers. So, for example, Abby Chatfield was relentlessly trolled unfairly, and it will be interesting to see her edit because she has a massed

a huge following since being on The Bachelor. Well, she criticized her portrayal, didn't she, which was fairly so, because every time she was on, they played this sort of like sex boon music or as if she's some kind of like backstabbing snake in just ridiculous. It was just so horrible. So I'm really excited and hoping that she will get a good edit because she really deserves one, and I think this format of the show will suit her a lot more because it is about fun and dating.

It's not so strict like The Bachelor. Well, the other thing that's really exciting is there's been ads for the actual series of the Bachelor locky series. I almost fell off the couch when I saw this pop up, because the last we had heard was that the recent Bachelor series had gone into a hiatus because of coronavirus. So it was kind of like, question marks, is it going to be continued? What's happening with the contestants? So they

must have actually been filming in secret. Yeah, I'm surprised because I would have thought the Bachelor franchise would be sort of on the front foot telling people they'd begun filming. But I'm assuming, as you said, they've just done it secretly. And if you're looking at the TV rundown, you're assuming that it's going to be on after Bachelor in Paradise.

Oh I bloody hope. So one other ad that did excite me when Channel ten was rolling out their promos for what's coming up this year is the Bachelorette was also mentioned, So at the moment, we don't know who's going to be in the Bachelorette. The Daily Mail did tease that maybe Tessa from Master Chef who got kicked out on Sunday Night, could be on it, but unfortunately she's got a boyfriend. Oh. I mean, that was just so stupid. Everyone knows she's got a boyfriend that's watched

the show. Well. I read an article on Daily Mail, so again I'm not sure how true it is, but it was another article saying that Harry from Too Hot to Handle has been approached to be the Bachelor after Lockey. I don't mean to be mean, but is it just me or is anyone so sick of this guy? I just can see straight through him. I feel like his whole romance with Francesca was put on. In fact, it's been rumored that he dated Madison, one of the intruders on Too Hot to Handle, once he split from Francesca

originally after the show ended. So I mean, how what a showmance is that? To get back with Francesca when the series finally airs on Netflix. So if that's anything to go by, we'll probably see him being the next Bachelor. Well, he's only twenty three. Can't they get someone good? I really want them to, you know, widen the net and maybe get some guys that aren't well known. I mean, I have no interest in watching. I mean, I know I'm excited to watch it, but Locky from Survivor doesn't

excite me. No, neither. Let's get into our favorite topic, awkward turtle. Now, this one involves you and I, Amy, and it was a rather awkward meeting we had this week with a new potential client. Yeah. So, for those who don't know, Sophie and I run a digital agency called Hula Media and we do get random requests on LinkedIn for meetings and this guy seemed pretty legit when he contacted us now he claimed to be the owner of a certain business here in Adelaide, but alarm bells

were going off the second we met up with him. Well, well, the odd thing was, as soon as we'd sat down at this cafe, he started talking about his previous business and he claimed that he'd sold it for twenty million dollars. And normally, when you're about to discuss a business deal with somebody, you don't really go on about your wealth. Because we hadn't discussed figures for work or anything. So

that was sort of the first alarm bell. The next alarm bell was the fact he told us that he collects gold bars from the local what is it cash and Karen, what is that store called convert? Cash convert?

So I don't know if it was cash converters, but he basically anyway, he claims that he buys bars of gold and sells them and had made eight hundred thousand dollars of The third alarm bell was the fact that he said he'd collected two cars the day before, which one was a Jeep, one was some other flash car, and that he has a whole warehouse of cars, including a James Bond style car. Do you know what the

weirdest thing was. I'm not trying to be mean, but most people who sort of brag about their wealth, they'll show up looking the part, like in a fancy suit. This guy came in a polo top and he had a really crummy small office. So we were just a bit like, you know, was the most awkward thing about this story was having to sit there and pretend like we actually believe that this man was telling the truth.

I mean, probably the souter point of the meeting was when he talked about how he's got a three story boat and apparently women took nude photos recently on the boat. I mean, a little bit strange conversation to bring up with two females meeting. But so, as you guys can probably sense, alarm bells were ringing. So we went home. We googled this guy. It popped up his mug shot from America and apparently he's been arrested for battery and

is facing fraud charges of the US. So it's safe to say we didn't get back into contact with this well. I don't know though, like how the fuck did he escape from America? I mean, he you know, I don't know. We're currently looking into it at the moment. Well, the worst thing is, this isn't even the first time I've met up with a scam RTIs the previous business I worked at where there was a scam RTIs who met up with us in Sydney and he was apparently a

real estate agent. And the most clever thing actually was that he had developed a number of fake names, and his fake name I can't I can't actually remember what it was, but we don't say this, well no, I won't say exactly what it is, but he made up the name of one of the one of them things us on five seconds of Summer and that's really clever because then if anyone tries to search for information about

the wrongdoings you've done, they can't find you. I think the moral of this story, though, is if something seems dodgy, it most likely is, and you should always look into it. But that was the most awkward meaning I've ever been involved in. Thank you so much for listening to today's show, and thank you again to today's sponsor, Oloplex. I personally switched to Olaplex last year on the advice of my hairdresser,

and it's honestly been so amazing. It's great if you've got dyed hair because it not only protects the color, but it also prevents damage to your hair, making it stronger and healthier. It's also great because it meants some of the damage done by straighteners, so it is a must. And if you did enjoy today's episode, we'd love if you could leave us a review, and also if you could share our show on your Insta story to let others know about it. Thanks.