Secrets From A Mum Of Triplets

Hi, and welcome to a very special episode of Outspoken. You're joined as usual by journalists Amy Sophie and Kate Torber. Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a mother of triplets? Well today we're joined by our very special mum, Linda, who was just twenty nine years old when she found out she was going to become a mum to identical triplet girls. Our mum's story is extremely inspiring and we want to say a big thank you to her for being the most amazing mum and helping

That is absolutely correct, own business.

Sorry for all the swearing that you tell us of for yes, I don't really like the swearing, so let's have a swear free podcast today. What did you think about the arguing last week?

I wasn't feeling impressed.

Now, Maum, we wanted to take you back to nineteen eighty eight. When you first discovered that you were pregnant at the time, did you feel like it was there was something different about this pregnancy at all?

Not really. I had a scan at about eight weeks and then discovered I was having well we were having twins, so that was very exciting.

Who was hiding?

I really don't know, can't answer that.

So how poor must have the technology been back then to say that you were having twins?

Well, then naturally conceived, So I guess no one was really looking for more than one baby and discovered two, So I don't think they're really looking for any more than two.

And what was going through your mind?

Can you? Can you paint the picture for us when you found out that it was actually three instead of two.

Well, my obstetrician that I was seeing was actually away, and I went to see his colleague and he had me was measuring my waist and sort of humming and hrring and thinking I was too big for my dates, so sent me off for a scan and he just said, oh, I found another baby, that's all and walked out of the room to go and get his receptionist to go and get her to come and have a look at the scan. Meanwhile I was looking at the ceiling, not saying good word.

I was a bit overcome, and knowing Dad, I'm assuming just having the idea of having twins probably would have been mind blowing to Dad having two girls. What was his reaction to finding out now it was three?

First of all, we didn't know what sex they were, but at the time he was with the scan. He was with me when I had the scan done, and he just looked at the ceiling and shook his head.

Did he have a cigarette?

Not allowed?

I can actually imagine what his expression would have been like. What was the reaction from your other family members?

I went my parents and my mum said to me, well, how am I going to cope? That was my mum's reaction. Hugh's mum's reaction, Your father's mum's reaction was, oh, that's nicety. Now what coles today? I was shocking and I just went, oh, my goodness.

Did you feel kind of alone?

Because I suppose I wouldn't, you know, there's not too many people that have given birth to triplets.

Was it kind of hard?

Because I mean that would have been at a time where you couldn't jump online and connect with someone else who'd gone through the experience.

I think I was actually naive, and I think that was a good thing. I just thought, oh, this would be wonderful. Everything will turn out fine, nothing will go wrong. And I think if I was older, I probably would have worried, and if I'd had Google, I would have been super worried. But no, it wasn't at all.

And how I mean, it's hard to say because obviously you were the only children you have, But from what you've heard, how do you think your pregnancy differed from like a normal one child pregnancy.

Well, I was really lucky because I was sick. Some poor women are sick. For the first three months, I did not have one day. The only thing as well, I was really tired, and that I grew quite big.

I was going to say, Mum, now, we did threaten to use a photo of you heavily pregnant in your bra at our twenty first birthday to illustrate the first photo of I was But you were big and you were only five foot one. So what was it actually like carrying around all that weight, especially I suppose as your pregnancy progressed.

Well, I only found out at twenty nine weeks that are that we were actually having triplets. So all that time I thought we were having twins. So after this said scan, when they told me I was having another baby at a couple of weeks later, I was put into hospital and that's where I stayed until you were born.

So, if you only thought you were having twins up until then, which names were you going with? Which name was that Kate Amy or Sophie?

Sophie?

Probably Well, actually we hadn't agreed on anything. I think the boys' names were actually easier. And no, actually that's incorrect. Sorry, the girl's names were a lot easier and the boys would probably still be unnamed.

So did you want a want boys or girls or a mixture?

Actually, I really wanted to have at least one girl. I wanted a girl somewhere, and we're just blessed to have three.

And you know, mothers speak about that experience of feeling like the kick for the first time.

What does it feel like to have three babies?

And did you was there a time or real kicking, because I mean we fight as it is now, I mean we might have been having a fight in your stomach.

Well, there were some occasions where you were having fights in my stomach. I couldn't actually guarantee.

That maybe someone was brought up the AFLW or.

Something maybe, but just blessed that you were all healthy, and that's the main thing.

And for someone who hasn't seen this infamous photo of you, just how big did you get and how uncomfort was it in the final stages of the pregnancy.

Well after they found out that we were having triplets, I went, I had a couple of weeks resting at home, and then they put me into hospital. So twenty nine and a half weeks I think I went into hospital and had the last couple of weeks there and all I did was lying a bed. So you babies grew. I think they said a pound each, so that was quite a lot. And at the end I just couldn't wait for you to get out because there was just no more room. It was just very very tight and uncomfortable.

So is this why we are older now? Because I'm already upset at turning thirty.

But it could have been postponed. Been May.

I think it was May the tenth, was your actual drey date you spoke about the threat of having renal failure.

Did you ever actually think that you might die?

No, not at all.

Ife was just the busness the note.

I think my brothers, because they're all doctors, were concerned. It was back in the day where you had a clipboard on the end of your bed, so when they used to come and visit me in hospital, they would look at the clipboard before they'd say hello, and was checking out my you know, all the results I was getting back, and I think they were concerned, but no, I was just oblivious.

And what was it like, the moment that you actually they all decided, Okay, you can't go on anymore, you have to give birth.

What was that like, Well, it was actually it was it was a little bit stressful, and I was just really pleased when it all started because I was just so uncomfortable.

And you wanted to have an I know, obviously with three you can't have a natural birth, but you're one of those people that actually wanted to.

Well, I did ask whether I could have a natural birth, and the doctor said, I don't guarantee the third one to get out on time, And well, well, okay, very nitty.

So do some people actually have a natural birth with some peoples?

Yeah, they do. Some people do, because.

I thought that was crazy on friends when Phoebe gave birth naturally.

I don't know if they really want you to, but sometimes that does happen.

Can you talk us through what the birth was like? I can only imagine. I've heard different stories about me floating to the top and weird things. So can you tell us what that was like and what the operating room looked like and all those gory details and.

How many cigarettes Dad had?

Dad?

There was he down there?

Dad?

Goland?

No, No, your father was not down the goal and he was That.

Wouldn't have been that wouldn't have been the goal and anyway, well.

The stomach again, no, he was up helping me. No, I had an epidural, and the anthetist was fabulous. She actually had a child that I knew through the dental clinic, and so I had actually met her in a professional sense. And she looked at me, and I looked at her, and I thought, where do we know each other from? So I actually had so of.

Course, that happens to you that you know somebody every time you know.

Sdelaide once had the epidural. I actually had the shakes for the whole time I was having you. So she was wonderful. She just sat with me and talked to me and said I'd be all right. She was amazing. Your father was at the other side. He was sort of there. I remember he was kind of it was kind of helpful. Yes, I just remember there were so many people in the room because there had to be a doctor for each of you, and they had to be a neonatal nurse and they had to be I

I don't know why was none of them?

No, no, no. Back in those days, the parents waited by the phone.

So if one of us was giving birth, would you want to be there?

If I was asked, I would be.

What does it actually feel like to see three babies being pulled from your stomach?

Well, they actually have a little screen up, so you actually don't see much at all. They just pulled Kate out and she was the smallest, so they actually whisked her away and I sort of didn't even touch her until some time later. And then they took Amy out and they did actually put her by me and like she doesn't.

Explain the favorite older.

And then they did the same for Sophie. So I did actually see kay closer. I'm in Sophie, but I did see Kate, but she was she was the smallest. So we're concerned about how and what were your first impressions. I was actually really excited to have three girls.

I was just.

Thrilled and because you're all healthy, and you know that was part of it, because prior to you being born they're taking me down to the neonatal in their natural room and showed me some kids that had been born before you had been and at a lesser week, less number of weeks, just to show me that you know, you were going to survive. I never had any doubts. I just thought you'd be okay. Perhaps that was because I was young and silly and didn't actually realize things go wrong.

You're twenty nine. I suppose you weren't that young. But maybe it's maybe maybe your positivity ensured everything. You know, when you think positive, positive things happened. Was there any crying or when we were ripped out.

From us or from whom, from the babies?

I don't actually remember that. Probably was a little squawk or two, but I actually don't recall.

Well when I just was thinking about it then, because obviously we were like very close to each other, was it? And then they took us away and put us an incubator. The I wonder if we were missing each other, could we see each other?

They actually put you close together, so I guess there was some of that bonding going on even then.

What was Dad's reaction when he found out he was having three girls?

Oh, He was so excited. He was so delighted and just we were both of us were just absolutely thrilled that you were healthy.

Was he a little bit disappointed he didn't have a boy?

I don't think so. I think he's quite happy to have three girls look after him in his old age.

Lady cigarettes, well, because we were still in hospital and you had to go home, was that really tough to leave us?

Really tough? That was really really tough because my sister law had just had a baby and with my brother and they just had one baby and taken her home, and I had had you guys, and had to leave him behind. It was really hard.

Did you feel like you'd won that competition they'd had one.

Winning? Yes? I did.

And when we were finally home, what is the reality of living with three newborn babies?

Do you get any sleep at all?

Can I just go back one step, because before you came home, I was in there twice a day feeding you, and that was really really hard because you'd have to get up rest, feed you, to get the pump out and pump all the milk out, bring it in, feed you, then go home and rest because it's extremely tiring, and then go back in another time to go and see you. So in a way, having your home is easier because you were there, but because I hadn't had an overnighte

Did you feel like a bit of a cow or like you know, with your udders out or like a cat with a.

Litter of babies.

Absolutely, I did twin feeding, which was wonder bars. You should say not and anyone buy it.

Okay, I think this is too much detail.

Well, when you did finally get home, did you have any additional help from a nurse or was there anything in place that you got because you had three babies? Any extra help?

Actually, sadly no, and I hope things have changed for the new mums that are having multiples that they do get some help from the government. I think we did initially get a little bit of financial help, but I think it was for six years. We got a tiny little bit of money which helped pay for formula, but no, I had my mum and dad would help which was amazing his parents but your dad's parents would help a

And talking of litters, that's just Bentley crying at the door. If anyone our cast I feel like one thing that I would be scared about if I had twins or triplets, is mixing them up? Was there like a technique that you had to ensure that the same, you know, the right baby was the right baby.

Well, this was in the day as a capsules, so all your capsules had the name on it. You also came home with a band around your foot to identify just in case we got mixed up. But you actually did look different.

Imagine if they mixed us up in the hospital. Well, I feel like because you were the smallest, they probably would have been able to at least tell you it wouldn't really matter because it'd only be a few days.

Do you remember you can't.

I know a couple of the thirty six's players have come up and said to me, I bet that you guys got mixed up and you were actually amy, And I.

Wonder, that's just scary to think about. So you mentioned that we did look quite different.

Did you make a conscious effort not to dressed us the same and so we'd all have our own identity, Because I know a lot of people fall into the trap of, I don't know, dressing twins and triplets the same.

Now I made a conscious decision not to dress you the same. Occasionally people would give item of clothing that was the same, so you would wear it mainly at home. But I just did not like taking you out in the same outfit because it drew even more attention to you.

Well, that's what I was going to ask. What is it like going out in public with three babies?

Well, I remember one time we were down at Gulwa and we had the twins stroller that your dad was pushing and I had the single stroller and we were getting stopped all the time. It was just incredible. So your father wanted to get a copy of some answers to questions that we were asked all the time. Were you IVF? How do you cope? All these sorts of questions. He was going to put it on a pamphlet, just hand it out because he was seller answering all.

These questions because dad loves talking to me talking to people one personal questions as well.

Oh. Absolutely, you not believe what people ask you, and it's quite confronting.

What's the weirdest question someone has asked?

I'll probably say were the children IVF? Because you weren't you were naturally conceived. But really that's no one's business whether you were you were IRVF or naturally conceived.

And I suppose you touched on it before about saying that you didn't like to dress us the same because you wanted us to be individuals on that same sorry, on that same sort of philosophy. Is that why you didn't like people calling us the triplets as well?

Yes, because that meant that you would like one entity. And I wanted people to know you were three different children. Just because you were born on the same day from the same mother, you actually had three different personalities, and I just wanted to encourage that.

On our first birthday, we did make the front page of the paper, just a humble brain. I happened to be snapping Amy's hat, your hat, one of their hats, and.

Everyone was except me.

Now when you say it was you know those party that has the sort of rubber Now, Mum, Mum was famously quoted as saying, Kate is bossy, and then I think it was Amy is placid, and what was Sophie was thoughtful?

I had kind hearted or something like that.

Now you have the chance to rectify your descriptions, do you let me just tell you about that day.

That's description sound pretty bang on.

It wasn't bad because it was a very off the cuff comment. We had organized with the advertiser to come and take a photograph, and I got my mum down to help me, so we'd fed you early, we had changed nappies, you're in your best dress ready for and they were so late working.

With journalists, now that's no surprise, and all but three different ways in the article that was not good editing.

So by the time they had arrived, you were over it. And so that's hints the photo on the paper review its rolling around pulling each other's hats.

I reckon though if it had just been a stock standard photo, it wouldn't have made the front page.

Like I feel like the fact that.

We were like upset and ripping at each other that made it a iconic photo. It also said the headline, it's our party and we'll cry if we want to, So I feel like it did make a good front page.

But back to your sorry, I'm sorry.

I was just going to say. As the journalist was leaving walking up the hall, that's when she asked me what you were like. So I was really put on the spot. So it was very spontaneous.

You're on the spot again. Would you stand by those descriptions or have they changed? How would you do?

You're you're all kind, harded, and you're all placid.

What would you say for someone who is asking you how to tell us apart? What are the key distinctions?

I'd say Kate's very organized, which is a very good trait.

Is that code for bossing?

No, I'd say that Amy's very lay back and very laid back and casual. And Sophie's very kind hearted and always sees the good in people.

Really, she does her descriptions alone, they were quite bang on.

No. No, you're all and you're all very kind, You're all very thoughtful, you're all very loving. I think you're being triplets. You're very thoughtful and consider of other people's feelings. I think that's an amazing track to have. And you always share and all those wonderful things that you wouldn't get if you were a single child as much.

What was your favorite age to experience your children? Obviously we went through the same milestones together, so was there a favorite time in I'm going to guess thirteen to eighteen wasn't, but.

Correct, I look all the stages were amazing. I love the little toddlers stage when you know I was just the number one.

And I feel like you're still number one now.

Well, no thanks, but you know, when you know, if you all over, you only want your mom. That was you know, that was the same now you have not changed at all. And school was brilliant too. I love watching you grow and become, you know, strong and resilient. High school was interesting. We'll move on.

That's fast forward through. That's good.

You know you were pretty good at Uni. That was That was an okay stage, except you slept a lot in when you're in UNI. And yeah, we used to have very weird hours at university, but then.

We that you were proud of us.

Still I'm still proud of you, and I think also when you moved out, it was another another stage where you became self sufficient and were able to do a whole lot of things for yourself that you couldn't do when you were at home.

So I just just to explain, Mom is the best mum, and she would. I think she thought the way to help us when we'd moved out was to bring big packages of like forty eight toilet rolls and Ajax and helpful cleaning products because let's face it, forty eight rolls of toilet peaper didn't last long in our house.

And also the Agui now is amazing too. I really like it because we always get together on a Wednesday night for family dinner and you bring your boyfriends and it's really really lovely. It's lovely that you still want to come and see your dear old mum and dad.

It's the highlight of my week growing it so yeah, it is.

I actually say every week I'm like, is it sad that I'm looking.

Forward to family dinner?

But growing up you had three brothers and you always wanted a sister. Do you feel like you got your sisters with the three of us.

I do. I do. I think we're all pretty close, and I think that's I'm really really lucky that we all get on really really well.

Just to put the end of perspective. On Saturday, we went shopping with Mum and she was like, oh my god, we have so much to talk about. So we had to any of the things to go straight to excoosey and catch up and it was literally like I got a headache after it because it was too many people talking, it's hard to get a word in. Yes, and not to get sappy, but what is your favorite part of being a mum?

About three years ago, we went through a really tough time as a family, and as your podcast viewers might know, if they listened to episode one, they might understand what what actually happened.

But and if you'd like to see mom style on the seven thirty, look that up.

That was a really, really tough time and probably that would have been about the worst time we've ever had other than my dad passing away last year was awful. But three years ago we went through that terrible time and I think as a family we actually grew stronger and.

And we had that great trip to Sydney, didn't we, Mum, You and we had a great trip. This is when things were sort of ticking over, weren't they. And we remember we walked through the hotel. This is when we went to sort of settle things legally. And walking out of our hotel was Liz Hayes and I remember you were so excited, Mumm.

You're like, it's a sign, It's a sign. I know, I thought we are winners.

I had to I had to stop you from asking for her autograph, because one thing that I think is so special about Mum is she always takes such an interest in everything we do. So when we were in the journalism world, you knew everything like you knew all the Oh that's the slug, that's the super I know who this person is. And you we would sit around and critique the news and despite you not being a

Oh well, thank you, And I still critique them. I only watch certain stations, so I only critique certain ones. But yeah, I guess it was. It was a fun time when you girls were working on the news and it wasn't really sad into that, and you know, we've moved on and bigger and better things.

So one of my favorite memories of Mum was we always had to drag family members to be in stories if you ever had a time like a tight deadline. And I remember Mum and Kate were in a story where Amanda Blair, who South Australian personality, she's amazing, but she did an op shop story and Kate and Mum had to model op shop close bullshit and that was hilarious. So thank you for not for us, well for those watching.

Amanda wanted me to buy this top and I'm looking at it thinking no, sorry for me.

Can I ask Mum?

How do you go at hearing things three times and pretending that it's new information because poor Mum constantly gets called And Top's.

All right because sometimes I get little snippers. I can put it all together and go, ah, I understand now.

I think the thing about you as well is that you were so fair, Like you just go out of your way to be fair with everyone. Even on our birthday you will write the exact same message on every single wall.

What was that like?

What made you think yeah, Facebook, well, what made you think about.

That or what enticed you to be that be like that?

I don't know. I think it comes from my upbringing. My parents were really really fair and even with my three brothers and I and also I remember talking to someone at the Multiple Birth Association. One thing that stuck with me was she said that the kids had to take along a photograph to school for the VIP of the week, and this particular person had no individual shots of so they had triplets and they had them all together. So I always made sure, particularly birthdays, that we take

So obviously you've said a lot of lovely things about having triplets, But what would your reaction be if one of us fell pregnant with triplets?

Would be amazing? Yeah, it really would. It would be amazing.

It would be a bit of karma.

No, no, no, no, I just I know no different. I don't know what it's like to have a single child. I just know that everything comes in three. I'd be delighted.

Is there a chance it is a hereditary or.

I don't think so.

No, because it's one and a million chants.

Isn't it something like that? I don't. I don't know. Just one split into two and then one into two again is what I'm led to believe.

And final question, who's your favorite daughter?

Lull them into a false.

I do not have favorites. You know that I'm very fair. I love you all equally.

And just to wrap it up, if what piece of advice would you give to a mum who possibly listening, who's having twins or triplets.

So get a lot of sleep beforehand, because you don't get a lot after. I just think you need to be organized and go with the flow and if something doesn't work, well, that's okay.

Mom hasn't had sleep for three years, she said, in our teenage years.

No, that's right.

And I remember going after I had you girls, I would give bag up the clothes that I didn't need more and I passed them on to this other lady that had I think she had a son first and then triplets, and I went to her house. She was amazing. She had everything labeled, the single drawer and the top drawer and whatever. And because she got a lot of help from other people, so it was just easier for

Well, thank you mom for joining us. It was I mean, I don't know, hopefully other people took something from us. It was just nice for us to I suppose hear about some stories we haven't really heard about.

If you guys did enjoy listening to.

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