Relationship Expert Reveals Her Tips On How To Date During COVID-19

They are so driven by variety of adventure.

They will be speaking to so many women they probably won't even remember what they expect to.

Some of them even have spread teeth.

It's so that some of them actually take every woman to the same place, so then they remember where they went. What has been happening is the paradox of choice, So much choice. Let's see who else is out there, what's better? And whereas now it's like, oh, are they infected? Because really matter, when you're attracted to someone, you really do desire the way they smell.

When you lose.

Attraction, something happens in the subconscious when you cannot stand the smell of someone.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Outspoken. Have you ever been ghosted?

Catfished?

Or now COVID nineteen? Like every other aspect of life at the moment, the coronavirus has flipped the world of dating upside down and left us in uncharted waters. Today we speak to dating experts Samantha Jane from The Husband Project to help us navigate dating during a global pandemic. Samantha, welcome to Outspoken. I mean, we're obviously living in such a crazy moment with all of this coronavirus going on. How would you say it's affecting the dating world.

Oh, it's creating massive, massive changes where people are actually resetting and thinking about their priorities. There actually has been a huge spike in online dating because people can't get out there and simply say, hey, let's go for a drink. You can't meet anyone offline, so online is the only option.

Now, as a relationship expert, have you been inundated with calls from people who are struggling in this time and are looking for help on how to actually date in this new world we're living in.

Oh? Absolutely, Look I've had a mixed reaction to some people, you know, struck by fear and they're frozen, whereas most of them have said, look, I have a goal of meeting someone and I want to make it happen this year.

What can I do?

So we're looking at different ways I help with people find avenues to connect with people online and so they can still achieve their goal of finding someone despite the times.

So what are some of those avenues Because I know we've got a few friends who are looking supposed to meet that one person this year and feel a bit depressed about it all.

How can people actually connect now?

Yes, what's important is don't be depressed. Okay too, it will pass. It is, you know, shocking, temporary thing, but think of it as an opportunity and get your priorities right and get out there. On dating apps, you mean, dating apps are really adapting to what's going on. They're becoming because of the popularity. They're offering video chats so you can go on a viral date. You don't need

Well, now that's probably coming to an end with the social.

Distancing, but just being really responsible and getting out there. I would always recommend two or three apps, find your favorite one or two and stick to them. Just be persistent.

And do you have any tips on making your profile stand out or what sort of photos we should be sharing at the moment?

Oh?

Absolutely, the profile is everything and that's why it's super important to get it right.

Because there are so many more people on life. It opens up.

More opportunities, but it also creates more competition. So have a photo that is your absolute best. Out your friends and family, you know, get some real genuine advice, get except help. So have a mix of head shots and body shots. You could limit it to about one group shot as long as everyone's okay with being in your profile.

What about I love men, though?

What about for the men?

Because they're always I always think that when men are topless on tindre or what or hinge or whatever, they must as be complete. I'll just say it, dickheads, do you do you have Do you advise men not to put up topless shots?

The men that see me would never in their wildest dreams.

They just wouldn't.

The men that see me, you know, they're genuine, they've got family, are ownedo, they've got good intentions. The topless shots are really just an alarm bell that women should just run from.

Because those guys arey hair ladys, we're good. I have to offer no good.

I suppose one of the benefits now of having online dating or you know, being forced to do it, is that you're actually going to start building some genuine connections with people. Do you think this is kind of a good time, a good thing for millennials at the moment?

Oh, it really is, because millennials have this hookup culture. And that's actually even though it's the culture, it actually saddens a lot. It creates a lot of anxiety and depression and loneliness. So this hookup culture will have to disappear, even if it's temporarily. But when when things go back to normal, I think it will change the way they date and they will become more real about things.

And how do you think these you know, so called fuck boys and players will have to adapt to these kind of uncharted waters at the moment.

Oh no, they're not going to like it, are they.

They're really big on like, okay, let's get to it, let's meet up, So.

They're not going to like it at all.

They're probably going to be the ones that encourage or pressure you into that virtual sex, or they'll be willing to do it dirty talk fast. They are so driven by variety in adventure, they will be speaking to so many women they probably won't even remember what they're speaking to you fast that some of them even have spreadsheets that's so bizarre. Yeah, some of these guys have spreadsheet. Some of them actually take every woman to the same place, so then they remember where they went.

Bizar.

Yeah, don't have date one, two, three, for five, six, whatever it is, and they'll know, Okay, this restaurant, you know, that event, that theater, whatever it is.

He just can't get so terrible.

And they're really.

Guys sitting and watching like the same movie at the cinema over and over again.

Yeah.

Absolutely, Yeah, And there's guys have spreadsheets. I've seen it. It's bizarre.

What sort of information is on the spreadsheet?

Oh, if you can say.

The names, the age, I think crew, all those things are back finding the school that you went to.

Yeah, you think. Oh, he's such a thoughtful guy and an actual factor. He's just got to keep in data.

So what are the signs to spotting that somebody might be doing this to you?

Do? You know? The funny thing is it's it's all about intuition.

Intuition pays a huge role in this, and you just have to you just have to trust you that feel if something doesn't feel right or he's so smooth and he's so good at making you feel so amazing.

Don't think that you're the only woman who's doing that too. I mean, the good guys, they don't really.

Have much of a clue as to how to spark that attraction initially. So if you're feeling too connected with the guy because he says the right things, that is a massive alarm belt.

He is very good at what he's doing. He's a practice data.

That's some good tips. That just making me think back to a lot of people over the years. I think there's some great advice for women. I mean, I suppose we're focusing on coronavirus, but I also think a lot of people have written into us asking sort.

Of how do you know that a guy actually likes you?

And I feel like you're the best person to ask that question too.

Thanks. How do you know if a guy likes him?

Well, he puts in the effort and he actually you know, I have this.

This is your listeners might be interested. I haven't actually downloaded.

It's actually the poor Tactic man, and it teaches you the different traits to look for in a man and how he behaves. So realistically, if a man is interested in you, you'll know it. He'll make the time to see you. He'll listen to what you're saying what's important to you. You might mention something like the art gallery next night, you know what, you're going to the art gallery.

It's like getting you into the stack.

That's some very good advice talking about online dating, and I'm guessing there's going to be a lot of nudes that are being sent around. What would your advice be to women that are thinking of doing that. Do you say yes, go for it, or maybe rethink?

Oh, I definitely rethink it, really really rethink it, because once it's out there, you can't you don't know where it's going to go, you.

Can't retract it, and it could be used against you.

There's a lot of scary people online as well that could you know, could potentially be black mail.

It's just don't do things that you're not comfortable doing.

And realistically wait until you meet the guy before you actually show him some skin.

I think that's awesome.

Yeah, it's such a great opportunity at the moment to build more of a meaningful connection with someone through just talking and chatting.

What's also your advice for someone who.

Might feel a little bit awkward just talking to someone on FaceTime or over the phone that they haven't met before.

Okay, so just be prepared like you would be for a job interview. You would practice your question so I would have a good sort of half a dozen questions under your belt that you can ask that person if you're getting stuck for words. And when you are connecting and communicating with them, you know you can be flatty.

By giving compliments.

You can ask about their favorite places in the world or the ideal weekend, which you a lot about their values and I'll tell you about their lifestyle and to see how aligned you are, and just keep things really positive, lighthearted. And the great thing is if you're speaking online like that, you can just quickly look to the side and check out your questions because they won't know what you're doing.

That's really good.

Well, one thing that I have seen popping up a little bit is people's exes are getting back in touch with them in this sort of crisis at the moment.

Have you heard about that? And that is there a reason behind that?

Oh?

Absolutely, humans are creatures of habit, and you have to remember your ex as an expert reason.

In uncertain times, our first human need, our core need, is certainty.

So we look for certainty in times of stress and anxiety, and we are looking for that familiarity because that feels safe. So it's really natural to go back to your ex because you know that person, But we have to remember they're not much safer than somebody new. It's just about you grounding yourself, being the best version of you, feeling really confident, and that's the time you should be getting

And at the moment, as we are still allowed to be leaving our houses and I mean still kind of meeting people to a certain extent, do you think that the topic of exclusivity is going to be coming up more and more because there's kind of more fear over if someone is seeing new people in.

Yeah, locking someone in for that long period of time. It might be lockdown.

Totally.

I mean even going down to the shopping mall, it's like, oh, you're not social distancing.

So you know, with.

Dating, it's no longer just about condoms and STIs.

It's more about okay, are we exclusive? Who are you seeing? That is definitely going to be a hot topic. Definitely you can lock them in quicker.

Now.

You talk a lot about the science of love. Can you feel us in a little bit about I spoke the science of love and I suppose how is it going to change with people not being able to see people face to face?

Well, it's definitely interesting times we people the phases of love that love to plays a huge part in this, So people tend to get quite physical quickly, and relationships often start quickly and end quickly versus Now it's more about creating that an emotional connection and actually getting to that space of feeling like they're actually potentially going to be a part of your life where you can help build true connections.

So it's no longer just this hook up culture.

It's more more now about genuine love, genuine connections to know someone first, instead of using.

Like right now.

What is happening in life or what has been happening is the paradox of choice, so much choice. Let's see who else is out there, what's better? And whereas now it's like, oh are they infected?

There's a new check.

What's really you know, I might raise my standards a bit.

I might be, you know, thinking more about what's truly important and love will come from this as opposed to blust.

I'm wondering if this is going to be a good time for people that have like the boys that are in the friend zone, because they're still kind of there, but now girls might be like, well, shit, like, you know, I've got some time, so maybe I'll you know, unfriend them.

It is totally a good time for the friend zone guys because they are the ones that feel safe. And often the guys in the friend zone are actually really good men and they just haven't been given a chance.

We're talking about onto sort of committed relationships and people are going to be spending a lot of time with their partners now. And I've seen a few news sites say that the divorce rate in China has gone up since people spent time with their partners. Do you have any tips of people who will be spending a long amount of time just with their partner.

Oh, absolutely, do you know? Statistically March is meant to be the month of breakups.

In divorce.

Because it's a change of across the globe, is a change of seasons. People, you know, they've spent Christmas together, they didn't want to break up to Christmas, and they've held out for Valentine's Day and then they're finally it enough where they don't want.

To spend winter together or the son together.

So they're starting things about their optionsus now they're in lockdown.

I've known people who have broken up and there in lockdown. So they can cause some chales, but.

At the same time, it could actually save a lot of marriages because people who have been totally disconnected and focused on work, they actually are forced to be together. So if you have that tension in your relationship, it's quiless continuing to argue. So take a moment and think about all the things that you're grateful for. What do you appreciate about that person? Be really kind, Think about

Was it about me? Was it about the relationship? You know, we've got treaty.

And on the other hand, I suppose a lot of people are going through a stressful time with their jobs up in the air and places shutting down. What are some tips with helping your partner overcome that stress?

So important to be kind to them, be kind to yourself and just be there for them, let them, let them talk, let them be a little cranky, let them snap a little within reason, just excuse that they may not be the best version of themselves. And then once they've reset, then you can chat to them about options. There were always options in this world. To just make the most of every opportunity, no matter what.

I love I love it, Sophie sitting there nodding. I think she's had a few outbursts in front of her partner. He's been putting up with a lot, So I have to plan your your piece of advice there.

What's a distressful time for all?

Oh? It is, but just remember it will pass as well. You know, we've got some really great measures in place. The governments are blocking us down and giving us restrictions, so you know, we're.

Talking about the long matter of time.

I know, well, I'm sort of thinking about the lockdown, and you know, my boyfriend and I went and bought some board games and stuff from Kmart to sort of kill some time. But do you have any cute date ideas for when people are in lockdown? Obviously we can't go out, but are there any fun things that you can do at home?

But we absolutely stock up on some candles, you know, light light up the bathroom with candles.

Now everyone's going to mass panic by candles.

Yeah, panic by candles. You know, bath bombs, if you have a bath music massage.

Just keep it simple.

This is a little bit off topic, but I understand you did a bit of work with The Bachelor. Are you able to tell us a little bit about that for people that are sick of hearing about COVID nineteen help we.

All over that? Yeah? Absolutely, What would you like to know?

Well, what was your role specifically?

Oh? So I helped them develop some of the compatibility between so we do some compatibility.

Take between Mitchie and the girl.

And I was just there to help him feel supported and.

Without telling you what to do.

It's giving him that giving him the tools to make his own decisions based on some science.

Cool.

Have you been watching maths because they've been doing a lot of the whole science and sniffing shirts and whatnot. Is that all a bit of a load of bullshit or is there actually some truth behind that?

That's the truth, There is some truth.

It's really funny when you're attracted to someone you really do desire the way they smell. When you lose attraction, something happens in the subconscious where you cannot stand the smell of someone even think about the people that are Maybe maybe there's someone attracts here and you're thinking a constant smell of him.

I can't figure out why.

Not that he's stinky, not that he's dirty or she's dirty. It's just a pheramone thing. So it is real, very real.

Is that what you kind of have, like with your brothers or cousins. It's like that's the thing that puts you up.

Yeah, that's right, yeap, you gotta hope that. Yeah, it's like, oh they do, and it's not it's just their smell. It's just it's a pheromone.

It's a hormones. You're just not attracted to them.

How is such a subconscious saying, oh, don't go there.

How is that affected by perfumes and that sort of thing, theodorant, deodorant.

And it's interesting, the more perfume and deodorant that you pop all over yourself, it doesn't always have the most beneficial effects. So it's just a small amount. Especially if you live in really hot climates. It's better because that actually allows your natural pheromones to come through, whereas perfumes and colognes can actually confuse the senses.

That's interesting and that.

Yeah, but that's why when you think about it, when you're buy perfume, it may smell amazing on you, but same on you, it might not, And that's chemistry in your skin.

So that's what you stink. To their case, I was going to just us back to commitment. I suppose you've spoken a bit in the past about how to make a man commit to you, and I'm assuming there's going to be a lot of women, or i suppose men for that matter, wanting women to commit to them. What would your advice be to someone who's wanting that special person in their life to commit.

First of all, make sure you pick the right person, because that is key. Some people are easier to commit inspire to commit than others. Some people will have a better relationship with So when it comes to getting someone to commit, it's all about how they feel around you. And inspiring a man to commit or a woman to commit is actually putting in them in a position where they fear losing you more than they fear losing their freedom.

Oh?

I like that. I'm talking about that.

There's some people that are saying that they're not going to date at all during this pandemic.

Do you think that's the right thing.

To do or do you think people should be a bit more open minded.

Look, I've heard people say that too. I think it's really important to look after your mental health. So some people like I'm not going to date during this pandemic, you need to consider what is the isolation going to do? Is it more beneficial to even chat to people and connect just like we are today. It's just a chat as opposed to locking yourself down, because when you lock yourself down, you're watching the news. You could just be overcome and overwhelmed by all that scary stuff out there.

For anyone who's interest said to hear more of your advice, where can they find you online?

Jump on to Samantha Jane dot com today, I'd love to hear from.

You, beautiful. Thank you so much for your time.

We've really appreciated hearing of your amazing advice and hopefully it can help someone out there who's you know, arming and airing about whether they should jump into dating at this time.

My pleasure. Thanks for having me