RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Is He Cheating? When To Fart? Is He Ghosting Me? Why Won't He Include Me On His Insta!?

a look through that. Definitely are some interesting ones in there. We should probably get started by getting into the first one. Amy, I was going to say, we should probably preface it with we are clearly not relationship experts. We thought the fact that we're tenning thirty one next week we might be able to add some experience to some words of wisdom. So the first question is and we will be keeping everyone anonymous as well because they are there are some

personal questions in there. So the first question reads, I found out my boyfriend's been another girl, but he claims they're just friends. Some of the messages were very flirty. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt or should I get rid of him? That's a tough one because you don't want to be some ogre that's not allowing jr Wana to talk to anyone. But again, I

don't know, I'd be pretty pissed off. I think you need to ask your partner the question of who is this person and see if you can even have a scope out on Instagram. If it was me, i'd have a check of who this girl was if you can see any photos of them together that don't really add up well. Also, does this girl have a boyfriend? I mean, I feel like if she's single and the text messages seem quite flirty, I think there probably is a concern there.

But it's also concerning because he is denying it, and so if they you know, like if they were, if he was cheating, he should just be upfront and tell this person what's happening. But you're not going to do that. Oh, yes, you've caught me out. I am cheating on you. I think the other thing to be aware of as well is whether you've heard of this person before. I feel like if someone isn't cheap, they're going to make an effort to be like, hey, just so you know, I've

just messaged my friend about this. I mean, that's what my boyfriend does. Well, I look at it the other side and I have like one of my best friends was male and we used to talk like every day, and there was I mean, he was married, so do you know what I mean? Like, I think the whole thing is though, that these are flirty text messages and it seems like it's a secret. So she's just found out about it. She was obviously not trusting her boyfriend, and it sounds like she's gone and looked at his

phone and found these messages. So I think anytime you go and break into someone's phone, you never you don't trust them. There's always some element where you're doing it for a reason. I suppose context is everything as well. And you know, when you're reading through someone's phone, you don't know the tone of it, you don't know the context, and things can sound bad and you can take them out of context. Like that's why I don't like snooping. Well,

that's why I don't snoop on other people's phones. Do you know would be a good thing? If he says he's this girl, they're just friends, why don't they all have a catch up because you've he's gonna do no, but you're gonna be to quickly tell if they are just friends. Like, if they're just friends, they should all be able to catch up together. This sounds bad, but

I'm just gonna say it. It really depends what the girl looks like as well if they're a threat to you, Because anyone asking, I think have a bit of a My advice would be have a stalk of the social media before you go into having a conversation with your boyfriend. Get all the background details you need, and then I think if you're in any sort of good relationship, you should feel comfortable bringing forward the fact of who is

she and how do you know her? And even if even if they are just friends, maybe saying I don't feel comfortable with you messaging her like this. So, Saphie, what would you do if you notice that messages kept popping up on Brandon's phone and it was some girl you'd never heard of, and then you asked to see the messages and they were quite flirty. What would you do? Well? I would point out to him that that's not appropriate and I don't expect him to be talking to girls

like that. Hm, maybe we should move on to the next question. It says, my ex boyfriend keeps viewing my Insta stories despite me unfollowing him and him unfollowing me. It says, I'm on private in brackets. Sorry, I'm on public in brackets. Do you think it means he still cares this happened to me? I gotta share my ex boyfriend.

So I woke up on Saturday morning or sorry Sunday morning, at like four am to go to the bathroom, and I used my phone as a torch, so I took my phone with me, and then I looked at my phone and my ex boyfriend had followed me. We both unfollowed each other. He'd followed me and then liked four photos from like ages ago, Like he had to have scrolled heaps back, and the photos were from like four years ago. Weren't they when you guys were going out? Yeah?

They were, So it was really weird. And then the next day I was showing I think I was showing my friend, and then I noticed that he unfollowed me again but still kept the likes up, and I definitely thought he was trying to catch my attention. So I think that really is probably what this person's ex boyfriend is doing because well, unless boys are stupid and they don't realize that you can see who's viewed your story. Yeah, I did hear that some guys were oblivious to the

fact that it showed up. But I think this guy, he's trying to get your attention again. It'd be interesting to know who broke up with who. So if you've broken up with him, I feel like it could be him wanting to get back with you, or also if anyone's moved on, because I think that's sort of like boyfriends like to ex boyfriends like to pop up when other people are happy and moved on and they're trying

to cause trouble. Well, I think even if he doesn't know that he can be seen in some bizarre universe where he doesn't realize. I think even the fact that he's going and seeking it out perhaps shows that he does care a little bit, Like if it was me. I mean, if my ex boyfriend looked at mine, you kind of had that got your moment where you're like, Yep, they care. I don't know if it necessarily means they still like are seeking you out because they want to

be with you. Sometimes I think people just it's like nostalgic. They're just sort of looking at people's page to see what they're doing, and because they're interested because that person did used to be a big part of the person's life. That being said, though, don't press on something that the other person can see. Have a stalk of the Instagram feed, but not something where your name's gonna pop up. Make

a fake account like normal people do. Well. I had my boyfriend's ex girlfriend viewing my Instera stories for a while, and I thought that was a bit odd. I think that's very normal though. I think everyone who I've got to admit, like people like looking at other people's ex'es or you know, past girlfriend's stuff, but it's interesting do it on private or in you know, have a fake account or something for I would be so embarrassing, you

know what. That actually happened to me though, So we do have a fake account that I like to seek out and look at people that I can't look at my own name anyway. So I thought I was in the fake account, and can I just say, I don't even know the email or password for this fake account, but I want it. I was having a stalk of my boyfriend's ex girlfriend and unbeknown to me, I was in my own name and clicked on her story and

had a meltdown. So I quickly searched how do you make it so people can't see when you've looked at their story? And for anyone who's done it, what you have to do is you have to block the person. So if you've blocked them, your name will not show up anymore. So I did it for twenty four hours and then unblocked. This happened to me as well, and I text Sopha. I was like, oh my god, I clicked in my own name and then she gave me the best advice. So I quickly blocked the person and

then unblocked them twenty four hours later. It's genius, well, talking about this ex girlfriend that was viewing my instant story. She also liked one of my instagrams. It was like the first picture of my boyfriend and I that i'd put up, and I thought, as a girl, that's kind of like almost a fuck you. It's very passive aggressive. Yeah, but my boyfriend thought it was like, oh, she's happy for she isn't she married? Now? I feel like that she was. She wasn't at the time. Yeah, but she

was obviously in a happy relation. If you moved on, why I feel the need to go and like it make a comment on it. Well, it's not your own account, she doesn't follow me. Oh, not a fuck you, but like like I'm aware of it, like a mind fuck for the other person. Now, going back to this girl's question, if it was me personally, I'd read a little bit into it. I'd be like, they still care, but that's just me. I wouldn't do anything about it though, as in I feel like if someone wants you back, they're

going to do more of a grand jester. Then just look at your Insta story, but they might be trying to entice you to contact them so they don't feel like the loser and the situation. I remember when I first publicly moved on with my new my boyfriend said, you said publicly moved on some kind of like we went in public. I mean I think now people mean publicly when they put something on Facebook and it's out

to the world Instagram, Instagram. Yeah, this dickhead ex boyfriend of mine that followed me back on Instagram last week, then try to call me, but like only for a second, so then it popped up on my phone. My ex boyfriend did that too, and then he's like, sorry, didn't mean to call. I just didn't respond. Have you guys done that before where you pretend to call someone? No. I once there was like an argument and I called on a private number in in in case they didn't

pick up my name my phone number. Who with your ex boyfriend? Yeah? While were you still talking to him? Oh? This was when I was single and upset and suppressed in it. I think we should probably move on to the next question. It says I've recently become official with my new boyfriend and notice he still has lots of photos up on Instagram and Facebook of he and his ex girlfriend. Do you think I should ask him to take them down? Or? While I seem psycho, that's a

tough one. I feel like the person should take them down on their own account. I don't think you should have to tell someone to take him down. I personally feel like that person was in your life for a reason and for you know, some special moments, and you shouldn't have to remove it. My boyfriend asked me to remove pictures of my ex boyfriend, and I felt a bit funny about it. Because I don't think you should

have to pretend someone doesn't exist. But Facebook, sorry, Instagram's got the art button, which is really good, So you still want to, like, I don't know, for some reason, have the memories. You can archive them, do you know what I feel? Like? It depends how high up the photos are. Like if it's on Instagram and you're looking at two or three photos and then suddenly there's a photo of the X, then I think maybe they should

be not deleted but archived. But if it's on Facebook and it's from like five years ago, as you said, it's part of your life, I can see if you really care about someone, though it's quite a hurtful seeing those. His boyfriend was previously engaged, and there were photos up of his engagement party, and I can understand not wanting to see that well, especially if it's a failed engagement, Like what's the point of keeping them up? Like it's not like a membry you want to look back on.

Do you know? It's funny because I didn't realize that Dale was engaged before, as in like when we first started dating, and he thought I'd just seen it on his Facebook because he thought, you know, when he got to know us, he realized we were like serial Facebook and Instagrams talks. But the photo is big. It was some weird privacy setting. I couldn't actually see them, so I only found out through one of his friends that he had been engaged, and he was like, oh my gosh,

I thought you saw on Facebook. So he I didn't ask him to take the photos down, but I remember having a chat with him where we spoke about it's kind of awkward that they're up. Well, going back to this girl's question, I think that she shouldn't ask him. But I think that because I think it's a big sign if someone removes the photos themselves, you know what

I mean. That's what I waited for Reese to do, because there was one of well he removed one because he really didn't have many up of his ex girlfriend on Instagram, but there was one where because they got our dog now Shadow, they bought him, well whatever, they got him together as a puppy, and there was one of the three of them together and I think he didn't want to take it down had the dog in it, and then he was like, oh my god, I realized I had this up and like took it down off

his own bat which I thought was good. Well, I think that as well, Like you don't have to say take that, take that down immediately. You can say subtle things like, oh oh, I didn't know this was still Like I think that's why you know it's not rude. But it's just like Instagram, and I just don't really think it's a good look. If you've got multiple partners up on Instagram, you know what I mean? It says years separating them, like it depends how big you are

on Instagram. I've got a good question, you know, with obviously Tinger and Bumble and whatever else being really popular, how would you feel if one of your ex boyfriends put up a photo but the photo was with you, but you were cropped. I've been incredibly offended. I can't get a new photo that's rude. I don't know my ex boyfriend was so rude. I don't wouldn't really be surprised. Okay. The next question is kind of on the same theme. It says I've been official with my boyfriend for the

last three months, yet we are still Facebook unofficial. He's also reluctant to post photos of us together on social media. I'm worried he's trying to hide the fact he's got a girlfriend. What should I do? To be honest, I think that is a big red flag. Not so much the Facebook official thing, because I feel like Facebook is so like twenty twelve. I don't even know that was a thing anymore. Like I'm not Facebook official on there, and I didn't really like I think maybe ten years

ago it was definitely a thing. That being said, I do remember having an argument with my boyfriend three years ago when we weren't up in a relationship on Facebook. I'm so shocked because I would have thought Brandon would love to put up that he was Facebook official with you. I think his reasoning was that it's always awkward if you have to take it down. I think he recently he went through quite an awful breakup, and I think it was just the fact that it's nice to be

secure in your relationship and then put it up. It's funny because I didn't ask Dale to put it up, and he put it up when we were together. He's like, oh my god, I've realized that we're not Facebook official. It was actually so refreshing because I feel like there's so many guys out there who don't want to acknowledge that they're with you. But I feel like maybe that's the young thing. Maybe I'll have to make reades put

it up now. I didn't think so. I mean that is cute, like when people get engaged or married and you change. But I mean personally, I lived for all the comments underneath, and people get in a relationship like I remember with you, guys you put up like little friends gifts like oh my god, and like people whipping like the whip is a year as in like the men being I didn't explain that well. I feel like yurin is too long now to put it out. I don't think I let's bring it up at family dinner tonight.

Then then you can get all the comments from like the old people who were joking I didn't need you together. The thing that I'm more disturbed about with this question, though, is the fact that he's trying to avoid putting something of her up, Like I feel that's a bit more deceptive than the do you know what? It also depends on the guy, like if this guy only posts once every blue moon on Instagram and he hasn't shared a photo of you yet, that I wouldn't be too concerned.

But if he's one of those serial sort of like selfie posters, then I feel like there's alarm bells there. I mean, I don't know, what do you think about her doing the whole adding him in a relationship, Like I personally think that name would chat with someone first. You can't just be sending it over. Also, what I want to know is she putting up pictures of him, and if so, is he like accepting the tag on Facebook or Instagram or was he removing it? Because that

would obviously be bad. That being said, Like, I'm a big Instagram story person and I tag brands and a lot of stuff. But at the same time, I feel like that's something boys don't really do. They never share them. Yeah, oh no, but I feel like boys don't really insta story. Some do some, but they're the players for the whipped

Ones Brand's pretty weird. Okay, well, then I think the best advice for this girl is maybe start if you haven't put up a photo of him, and see if he keeps the tag either on Instagram or Facebook, and then a bit offensive if you don't. Oh yeah, but then that would be I'd go nuts. Yeah, I don't mean the like relationship tag. I mean just put a normal photo. Yeah, I'm saying, but surely they wouldn't tag you never know flat but then yeah, and then if they if they did, then I feel like you've got

something to bring up with them. But I feel like maybe just wait, if this person doesn't use Instagram or Facebook that much, they might not care what Facebook and Instagram thinks. I even think just bringing it up with someone as a fun conversation, like it doesn't have to be serious, like, oh, like it's a bit silly, but why don't we be face, why don't we put at each other on Facebook and put our relationship up? But it's not a big deal, like if you ever add

it on Facebook? Sorry, I mean adding the relationship, Like if it shouldn't be a big deal, Like if you're going out with this person, you should feel comfortable to communicate stuff. But it's kind of embarrassing because like you're saying it's not a big deal, but then now you're asking them to do it like it's a big deal. Yeah. I mean you're gonna approach it in like a nice way, not in like a naggy rude way all right. The next question says, my ex boyfriend broke my heart over

four months ago. He's now moved on with another girl, but I'm finding it difficult to meet other people. I really want to be in another relationship, but don't want to use dating apps. What's your advice? I don't get it. Like, I mean, I know, I never used any of the dating apps. I probably am being hypocritical, but I feel like, if you're desperate to have a boyfriend, why wouldn't you

just at least go on them like everyone. Most people I know have gone on them for like a joke and then maybe, I mean even just have a date and then delete it. But I feel like everyone is on there, and if you're not on there, then you're just missing out. Because I feel like due to dating apps like Tinder and Bumble and everything, people aren't as

reluctant to sort of just sorry. People are more reluctant to walk up to people and get to know them and ask them on a date because people are worried and people don't know if that person likes them or not. But we'll be done if they're single. Yeah, exactly. You have no idea, and do you know what, Like, you know, people pooh poo the apps, but when you walk out, when you go to a bar or something, when do you ever see that many people that you'd actually want

to date. I think the thing we've also got to remember in this is this girl said she's only broken up with her boyfriend four months ago. I think everyone also needs to be mindful that people need time to get over people and to be happy within themselves. Like you don't need a boyfriend to make you happy. They should add to your happiness, they shouldn't make the happiness.

I suppose it depends how they broke up, because you know, it might be nice for this person to get out and date some people from a dating app and just to have it shown that other people are actually interested in this person. And it doesn't have to be like as serious. It could just be catching up for coffee and you know, being friends or whatever. But even yeah, I mean sometimes these dating apps are a good way of building up your confidence and talking to someone new.

You don't necessarily have to meet up with them, but even just having a nice distraction of talking to someone. Well, if she doesn't want to go on the apps, though, what do you guys. Think of some things that she could do to meet guys. I suppose I mean things I think she could do to meet guys and also

help herself get over this person. Is to get a new routine in place, because when you broke up with someone, it is like your best friend is disappearing, and all these things you used to do you kind of have to replace them with something. So keeping busy is a good thing. Maybe even joining a new sporting team or

having a new activity. Like, there's so many different things you could be doing, Like I'd say, yeah, join maybe like one of those football clubs is in where girls and boys play touch football, or a netball club, or an art class or something like. Find something you're passionate about and enjoy and could take your mind off it and maybe meet someone in the process. Do you know what though, I feel like when you're trying to meet someone, that's when you don't meet somebody, like you almost come

across as too desperate. But also I feel like it depends what age this person is, like if they're in their late twenties, early thirties or whatever. And you know, I know it really is hard to meet people because you've got so much work to do, and you know, you might have all these other things going on in your life, which is why I just feel like, who cares? Just go on it. There's no stigma around going on

these dating apps anymore. I think people have to remember that there's real people on the other end of those apps as well. You know, sometimes you're like, ooh, it's this person of Tinder, but like everyone's been on there, doesn't mean you know, it's you didn't have this negative connotation. Yeah, I think she needs to bite the bullet and gone the app. Okay, well, good luck if they. If this person does. The next one is I'm thinking of breaking up with my partner. How do I go about it? Well?

I think the number one thing is you need to have respect when breaking up with someone, because there is nothing worse than feeling like you're blindsided and have no proper reason for the breakup. Like I think that's I mean for me, when I got broken up with I kind of didn't understand why, and I didn't really get much of a reason why. I think if you've been with someone for several years, you do need for that closure.

You do need to understand why. Sometimes it's hard to say why though, because it might just be like you're just not the one or they don't love you anymore, do you know what I mean, it's kind of hard to say that. Yeah, that is hard, But I suppose one thing is don't do it over text message. That's probably the worst. I definitely need to do it in person. Yeah,

and have the decency to answer the person's questions. I mean, you know, as you said, it's probably a hard thing because maybe you've just maybe you really liked the person but you're just not in love with them anymore, or maybe you're in different places of your life. But just be honest and say that, because it's going to help the person understand it and then not cling on to you and question, oh no, but maybe we are meant to be. But you know, I don't think you should

lead someone on either. No. But also, you know how you said you like you don't like being blindsided. Then it's kind of stressful if someone's kind of all of a sudden pulls away and acts differently as well, like I just, oh, I understand that, but I mean blindsided in the sense of not being given a real reasons

why they're breaking up with you. And sending mixed signals like I think the most important thing is if you break up with someone, don't continue, as Amy said, leading them on and you know, giving them mixed messages and continuing texting them and well, I think you should share your breakup story because that was bloody. Are you sure we didn't do that anything? I don't think so mine was pretty awful. So I was at work, used to work at or ten on the weekends. I was listening

to scanners and occasionally went out and did some journalist stuff. Anyway, So my boyfriend at the time, he'd gone out really late the night before and I hadn't really heard from him. Was getting a bit nervous. He wasn't really that trustworthy sometimes when you go out anyway, So then he messages me over Facebook being really weird. I was like, oh, how was your night, rarah? Anyway, I could just sense something was up, and he's like, I need to come

and see you. I'm like okay. So I went and met him across the road from work, got in the car. He dumped me in the car, told me we were in different stages of our lives and he didn't love me anymore. I then had to get out the car, go back into work and go and do a bunch of interviews with important people, and bawled my eyes out in the car. That's such a dog act, Like who dumped somebody when they're at work? Like couldn't that have

waited too after? And like didn't it deserve more of a conversation than just oh we need to talk right now? I'm like, yeah, Well, I didn't see him for another a month after that, didn't hear a word from him, And then we started catching up and texting and I got my hopes up again. So that was that was all quite an ordeal. I don't believe someone would do that. Why couldn't he just wait for you when work was

over and they have a big conversation. He didn't want to lie to me whilst I was at work or you know, because I kept asking him if something was wrong. Do you know what what do you guys think of ghosting? Like do you think it's good if someone ghosts you? Or should not someone if you're in a relationship for a couple of years. No? No, But like say someone breaks up with you, is it better for them to ghost you? Because then they're not giving you any I think ghosts.

I think ghosting is the wrong word. I think if you if you don't want to be with someone and that's your intention and you've got your heart set on that, then I think end thing's in a nice way, and then not don't continue the messaging and don't continue like the mixed messages. I think ghosting is just shit all round. Like there's nothing worse than going on a couple of dates with someone and then you text them and they

never reply. Like I just think, be upfront and honest, and if you don't want to see the person again, just say, hey, you know, it's great catching up with you. But I don't really see it going in anyway, Like

why can't someone just say that? I mean that being said, like where like a few years ago, I did go on Tinder, as we're all talking about Tinder, and there was one guy who was just really full on, like I only met up with him once and then he asked me to come and see his new house and all this sort of stuff, And in that sense, I did ghost him because I just said how busy I was with work and I don't think I could come maybe another time, And then I just stopped reply and

it cause it is hard to say to someone I don't like you after work after one date's different. But I think if you've been on a couple and then I think if the person should just not just not reply at all, I think that's rude. So the next question is, I've started dating a guy and I'm nervous about him seeing me without my makeup on. I'm considering sleeping in my makeup or waking up early before he gets up to put it on. What should I do?

We've all been there, haven't we. I personally am a big makeup person, so I've been in that scenario where you do feel a bit awkward to be seen without makeup on. Have you guys felt that? Definitely? I have. But like when I started going out with Dale, I just decided that I was I didn't want to go to sleep in makeup. Like I feel like, if you think it's going to be a long lasting relationship, you

don't want to act like it's a big deal. Because sometimes I think if you make sending out to be a big deal, people, well people will make it a big deal. If that makes sense. Sorry, that's but you know what I mean. Like if I was like, oh, don't look at me, he'd look more at me and I'd feel more insecure. I used to sleep in makeup when I started going up with Brandon. Sorry the way he said that, it was like it was some kind

of like alcoholic anonymous. In my defense, the reason I did that was because he lived at home at the time and his parents and sister would be around, and I felt awkward to go to the toilet looking like absolutely crap if because they got up so early and when your makeup looked bad. Oh I did it did, But you know, obviously I live with him now and I don't do that. But but he's always like, oh, he looks so cute without your makeup on. Like I

think it just depends on the person. Like my ex boyfriend was so rude about me without makeup on, so then I never wanted him to see me. Whereas now like, why are you loving? Oh, just remembering it, because like therapy is actually just remembering something. When I picked up my ex boyfriend from the city with no makeup on like three o'clock in the morning, would you rook up looking like such shit? So what he said to you? Yeah? God,

maybe we shouldn't that. No, I think we need to include that because do you know what, if someone's gonna say that to you, then they're not for you. Like that's there's a reason why those guys are ex boyfriends. But that's what I was gonna say. I think it depends how someone makes you feel. Like my current boyfriend raised it's like I look like such shit in front

of him, and he's so lovely about it. Like I don't feel I mean, I still think, oh I don't look good, but you know, you've got to be comfortable around someone like I feel so comfortable now. Yeah, exactly right. And I think for this person, just bite the bullet.

You don't look bad, you can't like it's just that's you. Do. You know what some good tips are though, if you do feel a bit uncomfortable, is sometimes it would make me feel a bit more comfortable if I had a little bit of fake tan on my face, or you know, if you've kept up, we had some moisturizer on. Yeah, eco tan facetan is really face water is really good, but that natural gloat. So the next question is sort of short and simple. It says, how long should you

wait before you fart in front of your partner. Does it depend if you're a boy and a girl, because I hate to be a girl. I think it does. That's written this. I don't know if the boy would be right now. You have to wait till the boyfriend farts in front of you, and then it's you know, not the harp on about our shit ex boyfriends. But I remember my ex boyfriend said to me if I ever farted in front of him, I would be kicked

out onto the curb. Yeah, mindset, he'd break up with me if I farted in front of your expert immature this day, Like, how would you come? Oh my god, Okay, I'm going to confess something here. So yeah, I've been going out with Dale for two years now and I have not farted in front of him. Look, I've got to interrupt. That's not such a great feat because he was out of the state for a year. Well, we've

been living together since October. Anyway. Unfortunately, the other night we had this foul Indian and told you not to get that I know and effect me for some reason, and like apparently I didn't audibly far, but apparently the room smelled rather funky. Oh, I'm so embarrassed to say that, but it did, and like he was actually like, what was it? He goes, oh, I woke up and it

didn't smell that one of mine. But it actually didn't smell that bad, like it was quite like it was quite palatable, And I was like, is that a compliment? I had the like a funny first far experience too. I don't know if anyone has had a poky bowl before. No, Oh my god, they are fucking lethal. So I had one. And this was like the first or second time I

slept over at Brandon's house. Anyway, I'm just dozing away, and then we were both woken by this toxic and just a smack in the face and you know when you're like, oh, no, it's me, And he was like he actually got really mad at He's like, what is that like? And then he felt so bad for me the next day because it was actually foul, like I've never spent so had he not fighted in front of you, you know he hadn't. I know he'd been anyway, the next day, I wanted to make you feel a bit

more comfortable about last night. And then he sat on the bed and he just let go of this big part and then he like and then he got so embarrassed and cover in his face and was like, I shouldn't have done that. Well, do you know what Dale said to me. He's like, I'm actually so glad that that happened, because I was starting to think that you weren't human. But I just think their sleep farts shouldn't

be included because it's impossible. Like apparently I bloody farted early on in my sleep and I didn't know about it, and I was like, this is bullshit, Like you just feel betrayed by yourself. Okay, So I think to summarize, a girl should try and wait for the boyfriend to find I know that might sound sexist, but we're just giving you, I think, some sound advice. And you know, and if and if you accidentally fart during your sleep, den I deny, deny, it could have been them unless

there was an audible sound. That's what I did. I was like, oh, well, yes, I can smell something, but I don't know who that is. Some other vices just don't ever eat a pokey bowl as well. Yeah, and the next question says, should you sleep with somebody on the first date? No, that's my I don't think so well. I listened to another popular podcast and they were talking

about another popular one. Oh I'm just saying another podcast and they were sad and they were talking about you know, they were kind of advocating for women to just go for it and sleep with guys on the first day, and you know, what's up to you if that's what you want to do. But I don't feel like we should just be pushing people to do it because we can. Like, of course, a woman shouldn't be judged if she sleeps

with a person on a first date. But I do think if you are wanting to, if you do see a future with the guy, then sometimes it's not the right thing to do in terms of the guy might get the wrong idea about it. They might think that you only are interested in having a casual relationship. That being said, I've known people who met up, met each other in town, hooked up, and now they're getting married. Like it's it's each to their own, you know what I mean. Because some people, I mean, maybe we take

out the word date. Some women or some men just like to hook up with people and that's all they're looking for. But I think what you're saying is if you're looking for more, you're probably going to get more out of the situation from holding off. Yeah, but okay,

So I was just to clarify. The piece of advice that I didn't agree with on this podcast was they were saying basically that, oh, fuck it, just you should just sleep with them, because then if you don't hear from them again, then oh well, they probably wouldn't have messaged you if you waited ten dates to sleep with them. But I kind of think that's really unfair because you know, when a woman sleeps with someone mind standings, they release this kind of hormone, which is the love hormone, and

they become more attached to that person. And also considering you know, there's sometimes all these STDs that are going around, like you kind of want to know the person before you do that. So I don't know, if you're wanting to be if you wanting to have someone be your boyfriend, I personally would advise to wait a little bit longer than the first date, just because you're not sure how

this guy is gonna take that. That being I agree with you what you're saying, But that being said, there's some people who were like in their forties who were dating as well, or fifties, and for them, maybe they're just looking for that level of intimacy. So yeah, I

feel like what you're looking at it's quite different. Like if you're early twenties and you've never really been with someone before, I wouldn't suggest, oh, just sleep with someone on the first date, because that's obviously going to mean a lot more to you. Now to our love asked question, it says, I work with a guy and I really like him, and I think he likes me too, but he has a girlfriend. What do I do? Hey, you

might be an expert on this one. Kate actually met her boyfriend at work when he had a girlfriend, So, oh, look, I'm not going to go into that out of respect for reasons, but it is a tough situation to be in because at work you form, you know, really good friendships, you see the person every day. I think you just have to be respectful of the relationship they have. I think it's wrong to go behind people's backs and form

any sort of physical relationship. But again, it's hard not to form a like a bond, a bond and a you know, like if you see someone every day, you're going to quickly work out whether you like them or not. I also think it's hard in these scenarios where someone has a girlfriend or a boyfriend, because if they are to cheat with you, then the relationship that you go into there will be this level of mistrust with that person, like will they do this to me? So it is

important perhaps to lay the boundaries down. If you are feeling back, if you are getting the vibe from this person that they also were interested in you, I feel it shows a lot to that you have respect for yourself and for that person to be like, yeah, I am interested in you, but I don't want to do

anything that's disrespectful to your girlfriend exactly. And I think if you know, I think you know each other well enough by working together and by being friends, if there's something there, and then that is the point where it's up to the person with the partner to say, Okay, I'm going to break up and then I'm going to see how things go with you. I don't think there should be any cross lines or any you know, cheating or all that sort of stuff. I think that's completely wrong.

But unfortunately these things happens, and sometimes you form an emotional connection with someone when you have a partner, and that's not ideal, but it's the way you deal with it that it shows if you're respectful and if you're a good person. Yeah, that's the thing. You're not going to respect that person if they just go and cheat on their girlfriend, because you'll think, oh gosh, if I get into a relationship with them, that's the type of

person they are. So I feel like you almost have to think about it like you're this guy's girlfriend and you know, because I mean I would find that so awful if someone was trying to hook up with my boyfriend behind my back. But you know, if they have a bit of girl code about it, even if you don't know the person, you've got to put yourself in

their shoes. But that being said, if there is this spark with the person and it's you know, you can sense something there, I think you can still talk to them. And it also depends. I mean, if that person's in an unhappy relationship and then they've formed this special bond with you. As you said, Kate, you shouldn't like like you should never actually cheat with the person. I think that you have to wait until that relationship's over, just

to be respectful to both parties. But you know, it doesn't mean that of relationships just over because of you or you know, there's obviously lots of other issues going on if this guy is in fact interested in you at work. I suppose it does bring up the issue of emotional cheating versus physical cheating though, because I suppose

in talking to someone that partner is emotionally cheating. Yeah, but what are you meant to do if you do meet someone, Like, just because you've got a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't mean that that person's your exact match, do you know what I mean? Like, it's obviously a shit situation to be in, But what if you meet the

love of your life when you're in a relationship. I feel like you do just have to enter the situation with respect and sensitivity for the other person, because, as you say, at the end of the day, if that person is the right person for you, they will also go about it in a respectful way to their ex partner. Well, I think that's all we've got time for now before we go. Kate has a recommendation for anybody who loves

reality TV, and I suppose those sort of reality love shows. Well, this was recommended to me by Reese's mum and dad and they explained it as a mix between Maths and Love Ireland, and it was a spot on, Like I love both of those shows, So this is great. It's on Netflix. It's called Love Is Blind and Amy and so still haven't watched it yet, but I was giving them a little brief rundown and it gets so sensational.

My favorite part at the moment so far is there's this woman on there who's like thirty four and she's a bit of like a Jersey chaser, a bit of a wannabe wag, and she's dating a twenty four year old guy and she's at her house and she feeds. She is holding a glass of wine and she lets her dog look out the wine. Yeah, that went viral. I haven't, as I said, as you said, I haven't seen the show, but I saw that the dog was so gorgeous. Now it's this big fat golden retriever reset

to drink wine meant to we googled it. It's toxic for it because grapes are toxic for dogs apparently, which I didn't know. But anyway, I would highly recommend watching it. It puts it's meant to put to the test. Is love blind, but it's sensational And if you did enjoy listening to the episode, we'd love if you could share

it on your Insta story and tag us. And also it'd be great if you could leave us a positive review if you did like the show, and also send us more of your questions because we'd be more than happy to do another show answering them because I feel like it was a lot of fun for us and also a bit of therapy, So thank you again.