A Very Outspoken Christmas

Hello, and welcome to a very outspoken Christmas. It's the most magical time of the year, so we thought it was time to get in the festive spirit and talk all things Christmas with our mum and dad. Welcome Mom and Dad. Now our listeners might remember that Mum is probably sorry, Dad's already falling her face. But our mum is the biggest supporter of this show. She knows the old intro word by word. But Dad, you didn't know the name of this show until a little while ago.

Signed?

With our spoken?

Correct? Now? Last Christmas we did have two engagements, so both Brandon and Dale came to you. Dad asked for your permission, and you didn't exactly know when Dale was going to propose, but you knew that Brandon was going to propose on Christmas Eve. What was your reaction when Amy walked into Christmas Eve dinner with a ring on?

I knew what had happened because Dale came and asked me.

Yeah, but did he say Christmas Eve?

No?

But I thought it was fairly obvious.

And did you say, did you think that Brandon was going to ask Christmas Eve as well? Because didn't he bring you up?

I believe that he did actually say Christmas Eve?

Oh so you so you actually knew that both were going to propose on Christmas Eve?

I think so? Yes?

Did you think to be like, oh shit, actually Brandon, just so you know, I think Dale might be or you.

Just didn't nothing to do with me?

Did you know anything? Mum?

I knew absolutely nothing.

I have to say, growing up with your mom and dad, you did make Christmas very special, even though we used to call Mom the Grinch a little bit when we were older, because Dad was a little bit more Christmasy than Mum.

You got that right.

Where do you think that came from?

Dad?

Though? Was that from your parents being super Christmasy?

Or quite possibly? I believe yes.

So who was it? Was it more Grandma or was it more Grandpa?

Oh?

I think it was a combination of both of them.

So, Dad, what were some of your Christmas traditions when you were a child?

I was thinking about it this morning, and one stands out. It's not very exciting, but it's just something that sticks in my mind. Was every Christmas morning wake up to a heavy cellophane Christmas stocking filled with a few little goodies, but there was always an orange in it. No idea why there was.

I've only just heard like the other day that it's meant to be at the bottom of your stocking. Yeah, is that just an Australian thing or do you think it's English?

Because I think it might be English.

Yeah, custom What about you? What were your traditions?

One of them that I remember is we did have a pillow case at the end of our bed rather than a stocking. So every Christmas morning when I was little, I would wake up and unwrap the gifts and then I wrap them up again and pretend I hadn't seen them, so that when we were allowed to come out and actually open the presence, I had to put on some acting skills.

So how come we didn't get a stocking or pillowcase on our beds? You always put them under the tree. What made you change it? Probab because you kept opening them and yeah, because you couldn't control yourself.

Probably I just thought it was cute because I guess the three of you running down the hall with your father with a very old camera videoing you.

Was kind of Yeah, it was the only time we had fun. Bit. I remember the only time we woke up really early was probably Christmas morning, and I remember we'd run into your room, Mum, and you were still in bed. I think Dad was up and we'd be like, can we please open the presents? And you'd be like, Dad has to set up the camera and it would take so long, and you'd have the door closed and we'd just be waiting at the door so excited. Why did it take you something to set the camera up there?

Ah, because there was a lot of technology involved, fiddling about making sure it was in the right position, the right height, all that sort of stuff.

I feel like we should share some snippets from some of those Christmas videos because they're pretty epic, especially Mum, when you had to pretend that you really liked those were the happy pants that Dad got pants.

They were atrocious. And I remember seeing a very good friend of mine at Mitchen shopping Center wearing said happy pants for the first and only time, being so embarrassed to see.

What about what is the best and worst Christmas present you've ever received?

Dad?

Worst gift?

Somebody used to give me a book every year, which was all very us but because I basically read for a profession, I didn't actually do much reading for leisure.

Can I put it out there? Why that there's gas, because that's quite offensive because that was our papa's tradition. Every year he'd give a book, So it does taking a swipe there. I love that tradition because Papa got us into Harry Potter, But Dad didn't.

You used to have a.

Joke that your parents used to give you interesting gifts. Remember the hour you got?

Oh yes, that was in there older years there when they did the sort of early form of online shopping.

I remember your mother gave you some sunglasses one year that looked like blowfly glass.

Shock.

Oh.

I remember one Christmas, Amy unfortunately got given looked like a second hand pottery whale that was chipped and really badly rapped.

And I reckon the same person who will remain unnamed also gave KOs so I feel like it was a soap on the rope, but I remember there was some kind of pubell, there was something. It was definitely a secondhand gift.

Also, another gift you girls were given when you're fourteen or fifteen were the andies and brass.

Set that you sort of looked at and went, what the.

That lingerie thing.

Now, I think this must be a very English tradition because our grandma from Chelsea did it. But Dad, can you tell us exactly how a Christmas pudding should be served up?

It should be served with coins and lucky charms and lit on fire and lit on fire with brandy.

So there was a debate. Okay, So I told Dale about how we should get some coins prepared for Christmas this year, and he didn't know what I was talking about. So apparently he had no idea that people put coins in puttings.

Well, you can't use the modern coins because the metals that they're made of. See old pre decimal type coins that you could I would use, which was safe to use because they are made of a different metal.

But Grandma put twenty cents in or was it okay? Because she'd clean them and boil them and then put them in after Yes, ok.

If you've cooked them in some of the metal, smart.

Leap show okay, because I remember one Christmas, Auntie Drinda had Christmas at her house and she put two dollar coins in. And I've never seen our cousins have so many serves of Christmas put Now, we got paid out at school because we believed in Santa Claus for quite a while, probably a lot longer than some of our friends, and they were told to continue to lie to us. When did you realize that Father Christmas wasn't real?

I don't remember what adre it was, but I think it was probably when I heard my mother creeping into my room to put the stocking me into the bed. The traditional should have been earlier.

Was that.

I remember, as a young boy going out in the backyard when it was dark on Christmas Eve, walking up in the sky to see whether I could see Father Christmas sleigh and I still do it till the every day today.

Oh do you remember, I'm gone call and Auntie Daily had a Christmas Eve party. I'm not sure why they did that because it was a one off, and I remember Bindy said our cousin Bindi was like, oh my god, I just saw Santa in the sky. And I still feel like I can remember seeing a flash of red.

It's probably a shooting star.

Yeah, probably.

I don't actually remember when I found out the truth about Father Christmas, but I do remember you girls were quite old, maybe about year five, and I think one of your teachers alluded to the fact that potentially if other Christmas was not real, and you came home very upset, and I remember saying, what's the effect, Well, if you do not believe, you do not receive. I just remember it being really sad that you had to find out

I remember, though, I feel like we were sus on it, and we used to try and get Father Christmas to sign a letter, and we used to ask for his autograph, and then we told our friends Thomas and Michael, could they do the same and we'll compare the signatures. But apparently they already knew that Santa wasn't real, and we're told by their mum and dad just to go along with it. I was gonna say, though, because we didn't have Elf on the shelf, how did you make sure

I think your father often would get to the phone and was going to call Father Christmas if you went behaving, So that was you were pretty good.

I had his direct number.

Yeah, I remember vividly remember that we were up late one night. I think we were like singing bizarrely to each.

Other, and then you were like, if you ain't shut up, I'm calling it right now.

And like you pretended that you were on the phone to him, and then we try and redial the number to try and get through to father.

You were very clever, you were suspicious. I'm not sure now.

Christmas lights have always been incredibly special to Kate, Sophie and I think because of the huge effort Dad you've always put into the Christmas lights. What kicked off the Christmas light tradition for you? And I able to tell us a little bit about the unspoken competition on the street.

I don't know what actually kicked it off. I suppose my father would put some lights up out the front, but not to any great extent. I spoke. Perhaps that got me interested, or perhaps it was the film Christmas Vacation. I don't know, But in terms of competition on the street, I was never aware of any competition. Well, maybe it was just mine not been the best anywhere.

Well, I think because we started helping you with the lights when you sort of refuse to put I suppose refuse to go to the level we wanted you to go to. And I do remember there was an incident where because your house has like a big brush fence and some trees out the front, I do remember trying to cut some branches down.

I remember that, and the shrubs still showing signs of that mutilation.

I remember though. It was about three o'clock and we didn't realize you were coming home early from your work as a teacher, and just the fear when I saw you drive in. We were like halfway through cutting this branch down. You ran out the back like you ran behind the houses. So we've got this alley way behind the house, and Amy ran and dragged the huge bush behind it, and you lost it dub when you got home.

Actually, I'm going to raise the point now. You mentioned that once I tired of actually putting the many, many many lights up every year, and you took over from me. You took over from us from a certain extent, because you would put them up, but when it came time for them to be taken down, there was no sight

We always seemed to be we'd always seemed at that time to be on holiday, like we'd be in Penang or something. Just by pure I've got a bone to pick with you as well. Why did you get rid of the real tree, because as soon as we moved out of home you refuse to do it. And I need to ask if we organized a tree to be dropped off and picked up at your house, would you swap over back to the real tree.

No. Why Beside the hassle going out and actually getting it, the real hassle was getting the damn thing to stand up. And you could almost bet that the day of the tree was to be put up would be a hot, humid day, and so I'd be wrestling with this bloody Christmas tree trying to get it.

So that was a tradition.

To see how it might have.

Been the tradition, But I am now past the age which I wished to do that more.

It's because you had literally the flimsiest holder had to be held on with like a rubber band. This one that I've got it's Papa's old one. It just slots right in. What about if you upgrade to a bow some hill Christmas tree? Because I feel like your Christmas tree is looking a bit shit.

Oh wow, I'm offender, right, Kate, We'll get a bouill tree when one of you has all right.

Deal Kate, Kate, you'll take that off our hands. You're getting married to take one for the team.

One thing I will say about the lights, Hugh did a great job for about twenty five years, maybe so. Once the lights didn't go on was when people in the neighborhood started to complain. No one said at the time, what great lights. It's got a couple over the years. But as soon as the lights went on, people.

Were complaining, where are your lights?

Because we always bring our children past your house and your lights aren't there.

So this week at work, Sophie and I were chatting to one of our clients and he had a little bit of a dilemma. He was asking us, how much do you think you should spend on a child for Christmas? So he's got two kids. His wife wanted to spend five hundred dollars on each kid. One of these kids was two and a half years old. What do you think is a good amount? Because we were saying this guy is from Melbourne. We think there's a Melbourne amount and maybe an Adelaide amount that people spent.

I think maybe five hundred when they get older, possibly maybe teenagers, but I guess it depends for a two year old, No way, what do they need that's five hundred dollars They don't even know.

Yeah, I know, and you gets. I was looking up toys that came up for some of Resa's friends' kids, and they're so cheap. You could get heaps of stuff. I mean maybe when it comes to bikes, but I don't think bikes are that expensive anymore because I remember one Christmas, you guys got us bikes and Dad put them all together.

Both of us put them together.

Oh sorry, both of you put them together. And remember Sophie's was the wrong one and you only realized once it was all together.

I still remember putting them together.

That was hell because that was the present from Santra and you were still young and had to get you into bed. And then operation puts three vikes together on Christmas.

So Dad, do you think that's outrageous, though, for someone to spend five hundred dollars on their kids, I think it's a bit I do remember, Mum, there was one Christmas Day where your oven blew up and it was a little bit stressful.

I just had a new kitchen done relatively recently, and a new oven, and yes Christmas Day, I'm all the veggies are in there cooking away, and they really weren't cooking because the oven had ceased to work. So I remember my brother came out and was frying all the getting the fry pans out and putting the potatoes in there, and I was really upset.

I remember he was trying to calm you down, and for one second I thought you were going to tell him to f off. Like I'd never seen you so angry. Wasn't a forty degrees that day.

It was hot, and he was about the only one helping.

I was.

I was helping.

Oh maybe you could wear that. Lots of other people were sitting around, probably thinking where.

Is the food? Dad.

I have a fond memory. I don't know if it was this same Christmas Day, but one of the Christmases that you hosted, you and Mum, you decided to play have a Holy Jolly Christmas on a loop for about I think I went for about three hours to see if any of Mum's family noticed. Nobody did.

That's correct.

Is that your favorite Christmas song?

I just love it. When we've finished here, I'm going to go home and listen to it. Must be burl Ive's version.

One of my fondest memories is actually of Christmas Eve, because it would always seem like when we were younger, we'd all get into this big fight in the day because stresses were boiling over. You know, you were getting ready. We were probably being little shits and fighting, and I remember everything would be suddenly okay when the Christmas Carols came on, everyone was sort of unite to watch them.

I love the Christmas Carols. You have to watch them on Christmas Eve. I remember when you were young, I'd rap presence up in front of it. But now my ultimate aim is to sit down and watch, particularly Anthony Khlea. I love him sing amongst others, but he's my favorite.

I remember Dad, you would always when High five would come on, you would try and make us laugh because everyone would have been arguing. Anyway, you come down and sometimes you try and replicate that outfit. So I remember one year you put garbage bags on as a costume. Yes, I know it might be hard to pinpoint, but do you have a fondest Christmas memory?

I think it's the getting everything ready for Christmas rather than the actual Christmas time Christmas days lovely. I think it gets harder now for me, particularly with now that my dad's not here and my mum's not particularly well, because they're the sort of glue that keeps the family together. So if I could have another Christmas again with my parents, that would be lovely.

Oh what about a memory from when we were little that it stands out to you?

One Christmas we did go to your AUNTI Drinda's place, which mean says quite a mansion, and she had us in the good room, and I was so stressed because you were very young and at the age when you were dropping food everywhere, thinking oh my goodness.

But anyway, it all worked out work.

I do remember that Christmas. It was amazing because Auntie Drinda, I don't I think she had it bought in. It was the most amazing gingerbread house I've ever seen. It was one of those really, really fancy ones, and I remember that we were able to take stuff from the Gingerbread House and that was pretty amazing. But I do have such fond memories obviously of Grandma and Grandpa and Nana and Papa hosting Christmas mostly, But this year I'm hosting Christmas and I've got some new times.

So excited you are too, well, thank you.

Than I've got a few surprises that Cameron and Stewart us have been working on because I feel like it's really nice to have old traditions, but we want to bring in some new funny ones as well. Dad, what is your favorite Christmas memory?

Oh? There are just so many, but I think one of them was my record attempt at eating the greatest number of fruitment spies. I think it was up around the.

Ten I thought you had.

I thought you had an oyster eating competition too.

But that wasn't that was not a christ.

Oh yeah, it wasn't it Right before you you had us and that there's some people were saying that maybe you had triplets because you'd eaten so many oysters.

There was some suggestion mar fifty six oysters.

Oh, so many oysters were there.

That was a seafood buffet or you can eat.

And how were your guts feeling on Christmas night after eating twelve minutes pies?

Not great? And that's one of the things today. Of course, I have to not pig out this Christmas because we have a very important event coming up in late January and I have to maintain a decent weight for that, so I won't.

Be able to pick out well, that's because Dad refuses to buy a new suit. So one of my fundest Christmas memories is being at Granmar and Grandpa's house, and I remember that the men in particular would get very drunk. So when you're younger, you don't realize that they're drinking lots to get drunk. You just think that that's what you do at a party. Somber Grandma and Grandpa would have sprites and cokes, and we down about five cokes during the night because that's what the parents were doing.

One of the traditions that I remember and always love was my dad used to go to the bookshop, the local bookshop, and by every single person a book, and he would write in pencil in the cover whose book.

It was nothing was wrapped.

He just came out on Christmas Day and would hand books out because he just was encouraging kids to read and everyone to read.

And that was Dad's favorite present. I think. Confused, Yeah, no, that was that was so sweet because that would just be an additional thing. It was always at the end of if we were there for lunch, he'd hand out all of the books.

And when he got older, he didn't do it. And everyone's on Christmas night, where's my book? I can't believe I haven't got a book to read over summer.

What's so funny, though, is just how different your families were, because I could never imagine Papa Can and Grandma coming out with books for everyone. It was just like a different viable together for the lunch. And the main difference was at the Goodwins you had to wait till after you ate to get your present. But at the Tour buts was like present was the first thing that was

That's so mean.

One difference between my Christmas was we didn't have alcohol, and the tour has had.

A lot of alcohol.

What are you implying?

Everyone keeps asking us. Everyone can't believe that the three of us don't really drink. Do you think that that is an influence from your family? Then? Mom, maybe.

Maybe maybe you didn't want to put your sword down?

No, No, that wasn't it. Did you guys make a conscious effort when we were little. Did you sit down and say we want to make Christmas extra special? Or did it just sort of happen? Because I feel like we are one of those rare people who had a really good experience at Christmas. Well like all of our partner seems to not be that fuss about Christmas. What we do.

I think it just happened. I think it was just a natural thing.

Well, we both came from big families, so Christmas wasn't sort of three people around a table, you know. It was lots of people, lots of fun, lots of young kids, lots of you know, cousins playing together, that sort of thing, And I think that made.

Christmas really fun.

As a young girl, I remember our family was always late to everything, and one Christmas we spent still not me now unpunctual children. I can't vouch for that. But when we were visiting a very toffee aunt at Walkerville, which is sort of one of those suburbs in Adelaide, and she had a big house with a tennis court, and she was so particular about being on time. So this year, when we were going out to Auntie Marney's place, Mum and Dad put.

Our clocks on an hour.

So when we arrived on tom everyone was absolutely shocked. And years later we were told that's because the what's been put on an hour.

Now, to wrap things up, we want to get some recommendations from you about your favorite Christmas movies that people should be watching. Dad, what about you.

I've been hearing on the radio that some Bruce Willis film that's ultra violent, Well Diehard, that's correct. No, I'm not recommending that at all. I'm actually having seen it several times. I'm wondering why it's a Christmas movie. Yes, that's simply because it's set at Christmas time.

I think men, I think a lot of men try and say that they want to watch that movie as an excuse for the Christmas. That's not your favorite.

I have to be a Christmas Vacation.

Yes, obviously I watched it last night and I loved it so much, and I said to Reese, can you please watch it properly with me because he's always on his phone and whatever. And he sat next to me and then fell asleep within the first ten minutes.

Actually, can I mention the worst Christmas show I've seen recently? Gordon Ramsay's Christmas at Home. It was the most boring show I have ever seen. Gordon did not swear once. That was probably what I made it even more boring, and in then we turned it off. It was just so dull and interesting.

Whereas kids growing up or was it a repeat n.

The kids would have been teenagers.

Okay, what about you, mum?

I think one show that I remember was the Worst Christmas of My Life.

It was hilarious.

I actually watched this the other day if you're looking for it is on YouTube, really poor quality. I just was laughing out loud. It was so funny because there's a series The Worst Week of My Life. So this is the Christmas version obviously, where Howard his in laws are very toffee and he just seems to stuff everything up. Also, I want to recommend Grumpy Old Women Christmas. I found the DVD in Goolwar at an op shop. We need to watch it on Christmas Eve. I reckon it's so funny.