¶ Blood Cells: Life's Vital Journey
The vision received was that of blood cells traveling throughout the body , supplying the much needed oxygen and other nutrients to the differing members of the body to fulfill their purpose . Once the blood cells are spent , they must return back to the heart to be refilled before being sent out again and fulfill their purpose and fulfill their purpose .
Yeah , that's kind of like how we moved here from Florida .
I was thinking there's a lot of parallels .
A little bit . You know that lining up and all of that stuff . Because we had to sell a house over there a townhouse and we had to buy a house over here . Before Brooke was doing what she did with the videos , I was walking through the houses in 2006 and taking videos , sending it to her . Do you like this ?
No , you like it no , and then we found you know this one and um , the day that we signed a contract to purchase this one she called me afterward and said they found a buyer .
We're selling and we were able to organize it to be able to sell and buy pretty much within days of each other , so we have enough time to sell it over there , drive up here and within five days we were moving in here , so it all worked out amazingly .
I was thinking , amongst all of the sharing that you've done , that we kind of deviated , but I think that's where the story's going to continue now that we're in Georgia . Um , that you wanted kids and it was 30 . I remember saying 30 and 25 , no no the whole thing is .
There's been a whole lot of revelations of things um , so it was 30 and 25 when I last spoke about he did really desired kids . Your heart was changing to kind of have kids and all of that time you spent 10 years in California you didn't have any kids . Is that because you didn't want the kids or ?
been 10 years ago . So then you would be .
It was two years into our marriage ,
Two years into our marriage , that was when it was like , okay , now would be an appropriate time to like actively start trying to build a family you know , we got the career going . You know , we got a place that we call our own . Her parents are gone . We got her marriage thing , you know . You know , working marriage was great .
We've never had any problems in our marriage , um and like . Okay , like we're at the age and that's the next step you know obviously financially . We would have loved to have been in a better situation , but I think everybody would love to be better .
So , and I've always had people tell me and now I tell other people , if you're waiting for the right time to have a kid is , you're probably never , you're just gonna always wait you know , and people have told me that like , so , just it , it's a good thing to have kids .
You know , kids and and and life comes from God and he wants us to have kids , he wants us to build a family . So , like that's not something that you should , you know , hide or whatever anyways um so um , uh , we're like , okay , let's , let's actively , you know , go through the steps and you know , and um of having having a baby and um .
You know obviously this podcast like spoiler alert . It took us 10 years but but , and so I say , I say that so the next part kind of makes sense .
You know because we're , you know when , you when you make that decision you think well , it could happen any moment , you know like so we're , we're like okay we're having a baby and um , you know , and I'll maybe let you speak more on kind of the spiritual things that were happening during church services and , um , even before we kind of knew we were having
trouble conceiving , people were just praying over Alycia's stomach . Maybe you can talk more on that .
I mean , it started fairly early on , Like we had that close couple that was really close to us . They were having kids , like okay , well , you know , we know it's going to take time . We would have people come visit the church .
They were very they're known for like speaking words of knowledge and all that stuff and so like they pray and they I remember specifically the wife said um , I don't I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember the exact words because when you're in that moment , you don't remember everything specifically , but that it may not happen right away , but it will happen .
And so we're like , okay , well , you know , whatever you know . We kind of took that as , like you know , you're getting ready for the delay , right , exactly , we're like okay , well , you know , whatever you know .
We kind of took that as , like you know , you're getting ready for the delay .
Right , exactly Okay . It wouldn't surprise us if it was like you know , a couple months , maybe a year or two . You know it's fine , whatever . And even at that time , like I was never like upset about not having it Cause I knew like , okay , well , you know , it's just not our time , like God just not want .
It's hard to explain that , especially with like coworkers and stuff . They're like so when are you guys having babies ? You know , when you started with kids and I'm just like , oh , you know it's going to happen , when it's supposed to happen . It's kind of hard to explain the God factor with people who don't necessarily believe in that .
So I'm like you know , you know , like hey , like obviously , I'm like God's gonna make it happen when it's supposed to happen , like that's just and that's how I've always . My brain has always registered things like it may not be the brain out , but you know God said it's gonna happen , it's gonna happen . He never gave us a timetable , technically , yeah .
So I mean , you know who's who's to know ,
So people , multiple times I mean three , four times probably yeah that , and a lot of times it would be people who were not part of our church would just come and just start praying over Alycia's stomach , and the one lady was saying you know , it's going to be maybe a little difficult for you all to conceive , and God doesn't ever tell you time .
God , God , is outside of time . He very rarely tells you time , just ask Carolyn , how long it took us to move , and so you don't . You don't think it's going to be 10 years yeah , you weren't expecting that , you don't you ? Don't think that . Um so , after I don't what , three or four years probably . Now it's like okay we're having trouble .
You know , maybe let's go get checked out , let's go see , is you know ? Is it her , Is it me ? You know where's the issue , because if you can find out what the issue is , then you can try to do something , try and fix the issue and the doctor's just .
Blood work came back normal . Everything on me came back normal . Everything came back like nothing . There's nothing . Nothing was wrong with any of us like either of us .
What did that do to your faith ?
So we're like okay . Like for me that kind of , in a way , it kind of confirms like okay , well , this literally is a god thing like it's really just it's God , we're waiting for something like to happen like you know God's preparing us for something um .
Granted , we didn't think it'd be that long , but we did kind of go through some of the process of what's called an iui um , which is it's a it's , it's very it's a medical thing that they do . Pretty much it's right before a step , right before ivF , when you go through in vitro fertilization . It's kind of like a step .
They track everything and then you have to take medication and then they come in and you know , just explain it other than you know they have to mix everything together and then I have to lay there , you know , for a couple of minutes and then wait for everything to kind of , you know , chill out and I get to leave .
So basically kind of jumpstart the process of you know , maybe it's just the connecting was the problem . Everything connecting . So we'll go okay , we did that a couple of times , nothing . We did that three or four times .
The hormones were like horrific for me , like I and I had like work and I my job was very physical too at the time , so I'm like I have no focus at work , but these medications were definitely altering like how my brain was processing things . So we tried a couple times and then they're like okay , well , this is not working .
So the next step would be like the injections and all that stuff . And then once I were like okay , so I went to the pharmacy , you know , to kind of see it was like $500 , $600 , right , so insurance did not cover .
California insurance did not cover the insurance I had . I don't understand what you mean . The $500 or $600 for what ? For , like the injections ?
the injection portion of it the next step would be the injections , the injection portion of it . The next step would be the injections . Okay , they're a little bit more of a heavy medication and they just insurance does not cover that .
And that's the kickstart . That's the kickstart , still the kickstart , yeah .
So like the next step above , right before IVF , but like it's kind of in between , and I was like we can't . It was like $500 or $600 for just one round of that , and who's to say it's going to be one round or it's from like 10 . Like we're like we can't , we can't afford this .
Like we were , I mean , we were fine at the time in our life where we were we're never . We weren't like getting ahead but we weren't like drowning either . We're kind of just , you know , breaking even , yeah . So I'm like we can't , we can't afford this . Like this is like 20 .
So I mean we're very much month to month you know , so anything outside of a big hit out of your budget is is a a big deal . And again , how many times we ever go after this every month for a year , you know like where's the end to this ?
So we did that a couple of times and then we just like , okay , it was pull back this is you know , basically , God , you just have to show up .
If this is your will for our life , you're gonna have to do it , and if it's not your will for our life , then you're gonna have to work on our hearts and heal us you know , because you know this is obviously we want to want a child , we want a family . At that point we were thinking , you know , we'd like to have a couple kids and um , and .
And then you know , then you get to the point where it's now been , you know , eight years and still nothing's happened . And you've been tested , and you've done these other medications and nothing's happening . Then you start going down some rabbit trails . You know , for me it was like , well , maybe we're called to adopt , maybe that's our path .
So you kind of look into that a little bit . Then you're like , man , this is more expensive than medication . It's actually insane how expensive it is to adopt . And you're like , well , I don't know how we're going to do that . When you were looking .
What was that like $100K ?
I don't think it's that much . $20,000 ? It's probably $20's still a lot of money we don't have that 20k just sitting around to go through those steps . And then my brain I'm like , well , maybe I'm just going to have a bigger role as an uncle , maybe that's where my investment goes into .
We just spend more time with nieces and nephews and invest in their life , and that's kind of where my brain was going . But at the same time I'm still holding on to the word of God's going to give us a baby . It's still going to happen . So I'm still hanging on to that . You know . So you have there's .
You know your , your flesh is telling you things and you're , but you're hanging on to the Spirit . You know cause . You're still human , I'm still . I still have thoughts of doubt , I still have thoughts of sadness and emotions and you know , you can talk about how many people around us were giving birth .
Yeah . You know , I mean even , honestly , it hit me more once , cause we took a break after we , so couldn't afford
¶ The Move: From Florida to New Beginnings
that . And then we kind of realized that's when we moved in with parents and we're like , well , God saved us from having a kid while living with parents . So we knew like , okay , well , that really wouldn't have been ideal .
COVID hits .
Covid happened , so a lot of things kind of happened in between that and then moving here . So we kind of took a break during that time and then we knew we were moving . So we're like , okay , once we get moved and we get settled , then we can kind of start the process over again , start from ground zero .
And so we moved here in like the end of June and then we're like , okay , once things get settled down , we'll kind of start at the beginning of the year , basically like we're gonna go full force and then , like you know , we'll start over again . You know , at this point, I'm 35 , right , is that 35 ? 34 , something like that ?
Um , and then so I go 34 and I'd be 39 , yeah because in my brain .
I'm like I'm gonna be 40 years old having a baby . You know I'm . My biological clock again is , like you know , gone . It's expired , so I went I went to .
Um , it's very different here in California , like you have to have referrals to go to different things right , so I just I and everything's different locations , um , so I had to find an ob .
So I ob-gyn , um , and so we went , I did blood work and they do a test , um , and this test is supposed to make sure everything's kind of like my , you know , everything's open and flowing , everything's supposed to be going like the way it's supposed to you know . So I get the test , did the test done and I was extremely nervous about it .
So , um , I was kind of like in the pride . It was painful . I mean , if I'm completely honest , the test itself was pretty painful . I remember them saying some things about oh , it's coming back and like all these things . So I'm like I'm not really processing what they're telling , like what they're not saying it to me there .
I just heard them saying it , you're talking so I was like okay so I was like I mean that's weird but whatever , so I wait and then , I said what like , because what they're doing is they're pushing saline through everything , but what were they saying ? They're saying like the , the fluid was coming back they're blocked basically yeah , like whatever .
It's supposed to not go into where it's supposed to be going , so it's coming instead of going up through it's coming back down gotcha , um , and it's funny because I didn't remember that in the time that time . But after looking back I remembered that being said and I was like , oh , that makes sense now .
So well , kind of , so I get the test results I don't know , it was probably like a week and a half , maybe two weeks later and it says fallopian tube blockage or blocked . Okay , so I was like and I don't know a lot about the health field , but I know enough to know like , okay , well , it means like one of my fallopian tubes is blocked .
I mean , at least that's , we found out what was going on , right , we found out the concern . So at that point I go in . My mom was with me because Scott had to work , and I'm thinking like , okay , you know , one side's blocked , there's still the other side right , and she's like so both your fallopian tubes are blocked . And I was like what ?
Like I didn't , I didn't process . That was what I . I knew like one was , but they told me like both were .
Not to be scientific , but the fallopian tubes is where the egg is released and stuff comes down into the uterus so were you having periods ?
huh , like I had a little bit of trouble when I was a teenager as far as like that type of stuff , but once that , like once I started you know that sounds to you mine , but , like you know , once I started I was like everything was normal , like I could track everything , like everything we're doing , we're doing all that tracking you know we were trying Um ,
and so I was like , and they kind of like it could have just been me being in like my emotional state at the time , but I'm like so this is not to say that you can't carry a child , it just means that you know they're not the everything's not able to connect , to form you know an embryo . And so I'm still like kind of reeling from what she told me .
I'm still not processing it , so I'm like , well , that was very she probably said it fine , but for me , like I was in a hyper emotional state at that time where I was like that's it , like you're just gonna , I didn't say that but I was thinking that in my head .
I was like okay , so they sent me to a place Sandy Springs in which is a specialist um , and so then we went there um you had the same test same , the same test . They did . This was a . There's two different tests that they can do to test this thing , whether their fallopian tubes are open or not .
I did one in California , um , when we initially started the process , and it came back normal like everything was fine . So then this one the one that I did here at my regular ob-gyn said that it was . They were blocked both blocked , right , okay . So I was like okay . So I'm like mentally like processing as time goes on .
Mind you , when I found out this part out , like within , like I want to say it was like the same week we found out like someone announced their pregnancy at church , I was like okay , like that's kind of like .
That's when it started getting more emotional , emotionally hard for me it's because you know , I had been diagnosed with this specific issue and then all of a sudden so , and so you know , announces they're pregnant and it like it's kind of like a sucker punched , you know , to my stomach .
I was like that was rough and pastor and Brooke knew kind of what we're going through . Them and my parents were kind of the only ones that really knew at that moment .
So of course you know they want to check in on me to make sure I'm okay and obviously at the time I really wasn't like super okay , yeah , but I was like you know , it is what it is right .
So I go , we go finally make the appointment to go to the specialist , we both go get blood work and I get this other test done that I when I got done in California . It's a little more extensive , it's a better way to diagnose the concern that they diagnosed me with , and so I'm in there and I'd done the test before , so it was not .
It's not a fun test to get done , um . So I'm like and I'm watching , because you can watch everything kind of go , they basically just like dye , so they shoot dye there and you kind of track the die going through everything and I'm watching it .
I'm like , okay , like I kind of have an idea what's going on , um , and then the nurse or whoever was doing it , um , she's like so I mean , I'm just like everything looks great , like everything's flowing the way it's supposed to , and I'm kind of like what like ? I'm like she's like are you , did you think something was wrong ?
I was told by my previous doctor there's no consistency here .
I want consistency .
I was told my fallopian tubes were . Both of them were blocke d Like no everything's . I mean everything's fine , like everything went the way it was supposed to . There's no blockages there . And then she explained to me that the other test wasn't necessarily the best form of test to do to diagnose this specific concern .
So I was like it was like whiplash , because at the time I'm laying there I like I'm I'm confused because I'm like well , what that other ? test was wrong .
Yeah , wait what I'm like but this is still good news , because there's nothing wrong but then I'm like mad because that test I had to do I had to pay for out of pocket , which was not cheap by any means so I'm like these like waves of , like emotions were kind of going through all at one time . I'm like what is happening right now .
Were you alone all this time , or was he with you During that ?
test . He couldn't be there with me . I don't think you . I think you were there when I had the test done . We did so many different appointments .
I can't remember which ones are which .
You were there when I had the test done because I couldn , I couldn't remember , I couldn't drive because , they gave me a medication to kind of help relax me , yeah , and so I couldn't drive and it was . You know it's not super close drive .
So he was , you were there for the test , but , um , yeah , because I remember driving home from there because I went got blood work done too , yeah , so we were kind of getting all these tests done , basically blood work , all the tests already done at the specialist .
They do like genetic testing when they go extensive into all the tests and stuff so now the specialist says you're good right okay , so she's good .
I'm good , everything's good , so she's like .
She's like , and so we have like a consultation once we get all the results back . She's like going over there . She's like everything looks great . So , based on your age you know , at the time I was 35 she's like we could do um what's called an iui , which is the first test that we did , or the first one we did back in California .
That wasn't successful , right she's like , but since it didn't work before . We could just go jump straight to IVF which interviewer um intro . I can't think right now , sorry but anyways , we go through , we go through that process .
But the funny thing is thinking back on it back in California , like going through IVF is like $40,000 , $50,000 per round Okay , for just medications . The whole process right . No , guarantee no guarantee that's even going to work Right . So coming here , obviously we both got jobs . The job I got had just so happened to get the insurance that covers 90% of IVF .
Like the process not very . It's expensive insurance , it's not like every place gets this insurance . So the fact that like that , all kind of lined up , I'm like that's insane's insane . Like how that all played out , I'm like obviously I could see you know God's kind of hand and good .
Otherwise we wouldn't be able to afford that Right .
So I , you know , I get a call . They're like okay , well , your medications are ready to start the process , so you have to go to you know , go pick up the medications . And she's like we're going through insurance . Like yeah , go and run through insurance . She's like okay .
So I was like because , just because I was curious , I knew insurance , because I called insurance , asked like five million times , do you guys cover ? this , are you sure ? Are you sure you cover this ? they're like yeah you know , they , they went there . We covered 90% of it . You know , obviously there's still stuff coming out of our pockets .
But so I'm driving I remember vividly I'm driving home from work and they call me , like okay , well , we're going ahead to process everything . You just want to confirm everything . And she's like , since you're going through insurance , normally this would just one round of medications was 22 000 for just the medications .
That's not like the process of them going in and retrieving the eggs and you know , planting eggs , all that stuff . That's just the medications . That's not going under anesthesia and all that stuff , because you do have to go under that as well . After um , you kind of get everything going , yeah . So I was like holy cow , that's expensive .
And you know , but I'm like you know thankfully God had provided me a job to where it was still not cheap by any means , but it was not $22,000 for medications . So at that point I'm having to take medications three times a day . I'm having to take it at work , um just take a time out for a second yeah .
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