Optophobia - podcast cover

Optophobia

Solar Driftwood www.optophobia.org
Optophobia is the fear of opening one’s eyes. Our show is dedicated to encouraging you — our listeners — to move beyond that fear. To solve riddles they don’t want us to unriddle. To investigate supposedly ironclad truths. To unearth evidence, buried for so long they believed it would stay buried. Each season we tackle a new investigation into what is often dismissively called a “conspiracy theory,” and each week a new guest weighs in. Are you bored by the lies? Open your eyes.
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Episodes

S4Ep10 | Hollywood Video® Loses a Legend

In the Season 4 finale, co-hosts Lydia CoffeeMaté and Jeffrey Dalmer discuss what we've learned after a deep dive into the story behind the 1989 Judd Nelson serial killer film, "Relentless." In airing his theory about "Relentless" director William Lustig's connection to mind control program MK-Ultra, Dalmer puts himself in the CIA's crosshairs, with dire results. *** Credits: Erin Murray played Lydia CoffeeMaté. Erin performs with Madeline , a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lo...

Mar 15, 202133 minSeason 4Ep. 10

S4Ep9 | The Snack Aisle Strangler

With O'Boisies, Pizzarias, and Tato Skins, flavor architect Rosemary Caraway was winning awards in the 1980s for her work on the Keebler Company’s savory line of snacks. But when the company began favoring its sweet line instead, the “Relentless”-inspired Snack Aisle Strangler struck. *** Credits: Erica Johnson played Rosemary Caraway. Erica performs with Washington Improv Theater house ensemble Lena Dunham . Erin Murray played Lydia CoffeeMaté. Erin performs with Madeline , a Washington Improv ...

Mar 08, 202132 minSeason 4Ep. 9

S4Ep8 | The Thong Song, SisQó and We

Some "Relentless"-inspired would-be serial killers have been celebrities. When Marrissa Horn, a tea shop owner from L.A. began dating SisQó, she had no idea that a visit to Victoria's Secret together would inspire the R&B legend's greatest hit, nor that he might try to use the song as a murder weapon. *** Credits: Andrea Quach played Marrissa Horn. Andrea is a member of The Quitters and Washington Improv Theater ensemble team The Lineup . Follow her on Instagram @andy___q . Jamal Newman play...

Mar 01, 202132 minSeason 4Ep. 8

S4Ep7 | With the Intent to Cause Mischief

Growing up on the road alongside her saleswoman mom, Jeri Jones believed she had a serene, peace-loving nature. But then, at 15, she watched "Relentless" and a something savage began stirring inside her. Armed with common household implements as agents of mischief and with a Rolodex she found while Dumpster diving as a guide, her rampage began. *** Credits: Jenny Koch played Jeri Jones. Jenny performs with Washington, D.C. improv teams The Quitters and The Lodge . Erin Murray played Lydia Coffee...

Feb 22, 202132 minSeason 4Ep. 7

S4Ep6 | Little Bulbs, Big Dreams

Around the time Darrell Klep first saw "Relentless" in the late 1980s, he also began his career as a farmer. Eventually, he started working weekend farmer's markets, following his customers and sitting in his car outside their homes. Creepy? Yes. Coincidence? Probably not. *** Credits: Sean Paul Ellis played Darrell Klep. Sean performs with Washington Improv Theater ensemble team Nox! Check out his podcasts " Saturday Mourning Cartoons " where we reviews cartoons from your childhood with a criti...

Feb 15, 202132 minSeason 4Ep. 6

S4Ep5 | 31 Flavors and a Kick in the Crotch

Baskin-Robbins greeter Alicia Nicely was just minding her own business, trying on a fitted purple sweatshirt at Gap, when she was attacked by a "Relentless"-inspired wanna-be serial killer. As happens in these situations, the attacker — Sarah Pinch — couldn't close the deal. But might there be an army of Sarah Pinches out there, stalking America's retail dressing rooms? *** Credits: J.J. Jackson played Alicia Nicely. JJ performs with Press Play , Mystery Scarf and Washington Improv Theater ensem...

Feb 08, 202132 minSeason 4Ep. 5

S4Ep4 | Deadlike Rasta

Buffalo, NY musician Brad Meglin was playing Black Sabbath covers with his band The Buffalo Soldiers in 1988, when William Lustig inexplicably got up on stage, mid-song, and asked Brad to compose music “that would make people want to kill” for his coming movie, “Relentless.” *** Credits: Bryan Jackson played Brad Meglin. Bryan produces “ Pod Chef ,” a podcast in which he and his co-hosts re-watch “Top Chef” and discuss it episode-by-episode. He also has a new series on the app Rizzle called “ Ob...

Feb 01, 202134 minSeason 4Ep. 4

S4Ep3 | Never Time the Markets

Lance Bloomberg's father was a big influence on his son. There was the fascination with money and finance that Lance inherited, and there was also the violence. Beaten regularly as a child with an abacus, Lance would eventually teeter between a career in financial analysis and serial murder. Seeing "Relentless" nearly sealed the deal. *** Credits: Slli’m Williams played Lance Bloomberg. Slli’m hosts the Enigma Variety show for The Cookout Collective . He performs with Washington Improv Theater e...

Jan 25, 202130 minSeason 4Ep. 3

S4Ep2 | MISSING: Tracy + Judds Nelson, Apatow and Judy (R.I.P.)

Dan Hammer, a community theater actor from upstate New York who told the harrowing tale of his fiancee Tracy's mysterious disappearance in Season 1, has decided to try and remake "Relentless" in a way that "feels more real" by filming it entirely in his mother's house, basement and backyard. *** Credits: Reaves McElveen played Dan Hammer. Reaves performs with his improv teams NIXON and Colossus at various improv theaters in DC. Jamal Newman played Jeffrey Dalmer. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham ...

Jan 18, 202135 minSeason 4Ep. 2

S4Ep1 | Some Dreamers of the Bloody Dream

Meet our Season 4 cohosts: Lydia Coffeematé worked on the "Relentless" set as a personal assistant to one of its producers. Jeffrey Dalmer works at the last Hollywood Video where he slips "Relentless" DVDs into the bags of unsuspecting customers...at the behest of a mysterious "they." *** Credits : Erin Murray played Lydia CoffeeMaté. Erin performs with Madeline , a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge . Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray . Jamal Newman played Jeffrey D...

Jan 11, 202132 minSeason 4Ep. 1

Season 4: "Relentless" | Trailer

The 1989 Judd Nelson movie “ Relentless ” seemed like just another bad slasher flick. But director William Lustig included subliminal messages intended to inspire real life, would-be serial killers to begin their sprees. *** Credits : Produced by Tim Townsend. Theme music by Bart Warshaw . Cover art by Claire Smalley . Website by Chance Griffin....

Jan 04, 20213 min

S3Ep8 | Homo Invisibilien

Gilda Graylore runs the Mystic Horse B&B in Corolla, NC. She's also pretty sure an unseen species, Homo inivisibilien, unleashed Covfefe-19 to rid the planet of its destructive human cousin, Homo sapiens. *** Credits: Kelsey Peters played Gilda Graylore. Kelsey performs with Washington Improv Theater teams Uncle Gorgeous and The Broken Bones , and Dojo Comedy house team Maple Sunday . She also co-hosts the “ Heavy Flo with Puss and Kooch ” podcast. Follow her on Instagram at @kelspeters . Er...

Sep 07, 202029 minSeason 3Ep. 8

S3Ep7 | Nuclear Desert Sun Dune

In his work as a missile engineering studying manager, Master Carmichael Carmichaels made a startling discovery. The liquid that Mars is so famous for is actually a "nuclear desert sun dune," which NASA brought back to Earth in gas form and which has now leaked into the population, causing Covfefe-19. *** Credits: Darnell Eaton played Master Carmichael Carmichaels. Darnell performs with Washington Improv Theater ensemble team iMusical . Follow him on Instagram at @darnellde Jamal Newman played G...

Aug 31, 202030 minSeason 3Ep. 7

S3Ep6 | No Footmask, No Service

Al Windjammer, owner of Windjammer Shoes, has a message that seems to contradict the family business: Don't wear shoes. While Windjammer shoes are made of animal byproducts from the family farm, most shoes are made from untraceable, mysterious chemicals that are harbingers for germs and viruses. And because most viruses enter the body through your feet, a shoe of unknown provenance is an invitation for Covfefe-19. *** Credits: Stacey Axler played Al Windjammer. Stacey performs with Madeline , a ...

Aug 24, 202031 minSeason 3Ep. 6

S3Ep5 | Defund Big Blueberry

People are easier to control when they believe their group’s interests are at odds with another group’s. Suzy Johnson, professor of sociocultural anthropology at U.C. Berkeley, believes the U.S. government — nervous that Americans of all kinds have come together to speak as one against racism and racial injustice — is using Covfefe-19 to re-segregate the country. *** Credits: LAUX played Suzy Johnson. She the author of To All The Places I've Had Sex Before out on Amazon and Kobo . Follow her on ...

Aug 17, 202030 minSeason 3Ep. 5

S3Ep4 | They're Bricking the Replicants

Exterminator and Little League soccer ref Jammy Bristol has known hard times. As a young exterminator he lived among a community of mice he'd been hired to slaughter, and watched alongside the rest of the mouse family as the materfamilias was devoured by a red-tailed hawk. But nothing could prepare Bristol for the realization that Covfefe-19 was simply Google taking those of us who are replicants back to Mountain View, CA for routine maintenance. *** Credits: Ryan Brookshire played Jammy Bristol...

Aug 10, 202032 minSeason 3Ep. 4

S3Ep3 | Bedknobs, Broomsticks and Gun Jugglers

Famed sharpshooter Nate Drysdale was shopping for ammo at Walmart and summoning to mind scenes of Angela Lansbury fighting Nazis when it hit him: Disney had developed Covfefe-19 as a way to thin out brick-and-mortar retailers to give the company better access to our brainwaves...and our wallets. *** Credits: Alex Kazanas played Nate Drysdale. Alex can be heard each week on the Japanese pop culture podcast Toho Yaro , and the One Piece Podcast . Catch him various Saturdays doing live art at Super...

Aug 03, 202029 minSeason 3Ep. 3

S3Ep2 | The Vampire Bees of Slickpoo

Idaho floral artist Phoebe Shoemaker has seen super spreaders close up. Bees buzz around her store all day, drawing color, vibrancy — LIFE — from her flowers. The danger doesn't come from the bees' sting, but from their honey. Or more precisely, Big Honey executives who have infected the world with Covfefe-19 via their sweet, sticky product. *** Credits: Aubrey Peterson played Phoebe Shoemaker. Aubrey performs with Washington Improv Theater ensemble team, The Lineup . Follow her on Instagram at ...

Jul 27, 202032 minSeason 3Ep. 2

S3Ep1 | Ramona, Queen of Sexla

He may have been fired as a top sales associate at Tesla, but Casper Geronimo didn't let that stop his adult film career. In fact, it only enhanced his popularity and gave him a deeper understanding of Elon Musk, who has unleashed Covfefe-19 on this planet as part of a plan to return to his own. *** Credits: Patrick Slevin played Casper Geronimo. Patrick performs with Madeline , a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble. Follow him on Instagram at @pfslevin . Jamal Newman played Ginno Rommero. ...

Jul 20, 202030 minSeason 3Ep. 1

S2Ep12 | Here Catfishy, Fishy, Fishy

In the season finale, Dylan Marshall tells co-hosts Muriel Woland and Clifford Hanger how "Optophobia" producers have been duped by listener Todd Snosh. *** Credits: Liz Sanders played Muriel Woland. Liz performs with Madeline , a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble. Jamal Newman played Clifford Hanger. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON . You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com . Produced by Tim Townsend. Theme music by Bart Warsh...

Jun 01, 202031 minSeason 2Ep. 12

S2Ep11 | Ballad of The Thin Guy

When Erica Knudsen inherited a massive thrift store off Highway 11 near Henderson, Nev., she had no idea she’d be immersed in a culture of cryptids, tulpas and creepypastas. But then The Thin Guy, one of her own online creations, came to life and with the help of Deep State legal representation, pursued her for copyright and trademark infringement. *** Credits: Jasmine Jiang played Erica Knudsen. Jasmine performs with Madeline , a Washington Improv Theatre house ensemble. Follow her on Instagram...

May 25, 202035 minSeason 2Ep. 11

S2Ep10 | My Chicken, My Friend

When you grow up on a farm in the Blue Ridge mountains, two things are assured. 1) You’ll become a great swimmer, and 2) You’ll be best friends with a chicken you’ve named after yourself. Charlie (Donna Steele) was no exception, and when she grew up, she took her athletic expertise to the Deep State to train elite American athletes using medieval torture methods. *** Credits: Donna Steele played Charlie. Donna performs with Hellcat and Colossus . Follow her on Instagram and Twitter . Jamal Newma...

May 18, 202034 minSeason 2Ep. 10

S2Ep9 | Mattress King of the Dells

Mike Hightower knows a thing or two about being the best at something. The king of mattress sales in the Wisconsin Dells knows more than just antimicrobial treatments, memory foam gel and edge guards. Hightower knows all about the Deep State's anti-aging technology, developed to train — and keep — experts in various functions within the Constitutional State government. Think prodigies are actually children? *** Credits: Neil Baron played Mike Hightower. Neil performs with The Broken Bones , Good...

May 11, 202027 minSeason 2Ep. 9

S2Ep8 | Those People...Sure Are Nostalgic

Misa Rose, hand model and owner of West Virginia photography studio Brighter Days, made a startling discovery as she began delivering negatives of her old-timey shoots to the Deep State. Its citizens are psychologically mired in the 19th century, and — seized by nostalgia — long for the days of petticoats, ruffles, flounces, top hats, waistcoats and Piccadilly Weepers. *** Credits: Simone Webster played Misa Rose. Simone performs in Washington DC with I Don't Know Her ( @idontknowherimprov ), He...

Mar 24, 202034 minSeason 2Ep. 8

S2Ep7 | Mary Todd Lincoln's Hands Were Enormous

In 1943, Colonel Leslie R. Groves recruited 2-year-old math whiz kid Henry "Count 'Em Up" Kelly to be part of the Manhattan Project. After going on to help with the reconstruction of Europe at age 5, Kelly found himself in the Deep State (District Mary Todd), where he would eventually become CFO. But a whistleblowing episode got him banished in the 1990s, and now all Kelly wants is to find his find the secret passage back home. *** Credits: Bam Alston played Henry Kelly. Bam performs with Washin...

Mar 16, 202033 minSeason 2Ep. 7

S2Ep6 | Don't Forget to Smell the Sexy, Sexy Roses

One of America's pre-eminent asexual philosopher-OB/GYNs, Dr. Bert Flapp fled the life of a Manhattan One Percenter to join Doctors Without Borders. A logistics mixup sent him instead to the Deep State where he spent six years delivering the babies of those who control the U.S. federal government. His agreement to leave included a clause in which he promised to smuggle out one baby and send it over Niagara Falls in a barrel to wipe its Deep State memories. *** Credits: Greg Tindale played Dr. Be...

Mar 10, 202033 minSeason 2Ep. 6

S2Ep5 | Doggie Shitnose 2020

Even Deep State bureaucrats need the occasional morale boost. But after an hour-long, Propofol-nourished elevator ride, employee engagement consultant Vikki Ganders was as surprised as anyone to find herself leading trust fall, rope course and rap circle exercises in the 51st state. *** Credits: Clare Mulligan played Vikki Ganders. Clare performs with Hellcat at Washington Improv Theater. Follow her on Twitter at @kuhlayer. Liz Sanders played Muriel Wolland. Liz performs with Madeline , a Washin...

Mar 02, 202033 minSeason 2Ep. 5

S2Ep4 | The Dead Are The Message From Below

Bodies are washing ashore along the banks of the Potomac, each with a mysterious "SUFTDS" painted in red across their chests. Washington News Paper reporter Sacha Miller has a theory: some Deep State residents are sending their children to the surface to save them. But there are others in the Deep State who would do anything to keep those children silent. *** Credits: Adam Levine played Sacha Miller. Adam performs improv whenever he can, wherever he can. Find him posting things probably only he ...

Feb 24, 202030 minSeason 2Ep. 4

S2Ep3 | Will Trade Custodian Duties For Ayahuasca

What WOULDN'T you do for family? Like, for instance, your beloved aunt who moved "out west" to live on the land and participate in ayahuasca ceremonies until she ran out of money so had to take a job as a cleaning lady in a vast underground bunker somewhere in maybe southern Wyoming, and some vapors or fumes or just plain soot got in her lungs and ... Amber Hudgins makes the class action case against the Deep State on behalf of her beloved Aunt Krystal. *** Credits: Georgina Gustin played Amber ...

Feb 17, 202025 minSeason 2Ep. 3

S2Ep2 | The Mole People Elite Are the 1% (for mole people)

Martina Kratchlekov has worked in the New York City subway system since she was 16, and along the way she picked up information about its permanent residents: the Mole People. In the 20th century, the elite class of this underground society used parliamentary procedure and ranked-choice voting, according to Kratchlekov. Its leaders have since tunneled west to run the Deep State. *** Credits: Molly Graham played Martina Kratchlekov. Molly performs around DC in iMusical (@imusical_improv) and The ...

Feb 10, 202033 minSeason 2Ep. 2
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