Don't Fear The Filter: Finding Your Tribe and Self-Worth

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Please continue to hit the subscribe button and like and share us . Definitely appreciate it . Excuse me , so I want to share with you guys something real quick . Hopefully it is quick . Anyways , it's been on my heart lately . I had a wild dream . I won't go into the dream in detail , but I'll say that I had a dream about a cafeteria .

It's not because I love to eat , but I had a dream about a cafeteria and obviously , if you've been in the cafeteria before , you understand the environment . It is the epitome of the commonplace . As a matter of fact , there's a restaurant that does buffet , probably in your local area . It's basically a large cafeteria . That's what it is .

I'm not sure they're trying to go for anything different than that . It's just a big , large cafeteria , big buffet table . A cafeteria is known to be the common area for people who want something to eat . That was probably the biggest clear indicator in this dream . It was a common area . What I heard in that process of having this dream was the word filtering .

I don't share many dreams here . I'm not sure if I shared any in almost four years of doing this podcast but I think this is significant . I really hope that you're hearing me with hearing ears . Today I heard the word filtering . What does filtering mean ?

It means something that works like a filter , as by removing , blocking or separating out certain elements , a process used to strain an item . So in this dream , I was in a common area where people were eating .

But every time I tried to get on the line to get food from this common area , like all the rest of the masses were doing , I found out that either they didn't have my food , they didn't have what I needed to eat , or they gave my food to somebody else , or or I had to get off of the line because of an emergency that required my assistance .

So in three different settings , three different instances , I was not able to eat where everybody else was eating , and that was significant to me . I believe , if you're listening , it could be significant for you as well .

Are you in a place in your life right now where you're feeling as though you're surrounded by people friends , family connections , relationships but you don't feel as though you can glean from where they glean . You can't do what they're doing . You can't cohabitate where they cohabitate . It's something to think about .

It's not something for you to go and get psychiatric help about . It's a lot simpler than that . It could just mean that that is not an area of influence for you , that's not a place where you can grow and produce the kind of fruits that you may aspire to produce in your life .

It could simply mean that it's just not the right place for you , and perhaps not even the right timing as well . It's pretty much that simple . I think filtering is a big deal , even in the time that we're in right now . So I think filtering is significant in a lot of ways . I think filtering is significant because we are surrounded by so much information .

We're surrounded by so much noise coming through our social media channels and even the media in general coming through our TV sets , radios and articles that we read books and things of that nature . We have so much information coming at us , so many things that require or even demand our attention everywhere all the time Nearly 24 hours in a day .

Most of them are spent time . Nearly 24 hours in a day . Most of them are spent dealing with all of this information , all of these obligations , all of these so-called responsibilities and emergencies that pop up , usually somebody else's emergency .

Could you agree that we need to have a filter to push out the junk that we don't need to have in our life , the elements we don't need in our life ? I think filtering is significant for a time such as now . I thank the Lord for even speaking that word to me about filtering .

But I also heard during that time was that and this was very significant it rocked my world , because I feel as though it was a perfect example of where I was and what I needed to understand . What I was going through at the time of the dream was that I was being challenged with changing my environment .

Now , that might be easy for some folks , but it really isn't . Throughout the course of about probably six months , maybe even more , I've met so many people that come from different areas of the world geographically , especially in the nation , and they're moving down here . A lot of the Southern folks can't take that .

They don't want Northerners and Yankees , like they may call me from time to time . They don't want us coming down here living in their good old South . Yeah , okay , but that's what's happening . People are coming down here from different places and they're looking for a lot of different things . Not any one thing , it's different things .

Some of it is an escape from where they come from . It could be an escape from the snow . It could be an escape from the hustle and bustle and just the kind of frenzy of the city life or a metropolitan life . It could be coming down here for a place to retire and bring their families and kind of just round their lives out on a more peaceful note .

There's a lot of different reasons that we've heard . I've met so many people who fall in that category and they all have different stories which are really compelling to listen to . But the bottom line is that they're realizing that where they are , where they've become accustomed to , where they've known most of their life , they're unable to stay there .

And , honestly , I'm a born and raised New Yorker . I'm not ashamed of it , I'll tell you straight . I'm proud and blessed to have been born and raised in that city . I went through some hell , I was I was . I'm just so grateful that I was in that place to grow and develop into the man that I am today .

Had I not been there , had I not gone through those struggles , I don't think I would have the kind of mindset , the capacity , even the bandwidth , I have to do what I'm doing right now , had it not been for the things that I've gone through while living in a city that they call the concrete jungle . They call that for a reason . It's not a cute catchphrase .

Real hard life stuff happens . If you care enough about some of that , I'll be happy to share some stories with you guys about what that looks like . Matter of fact , a lot of us on the podcast , especially in season one and two , I've a lot of my heart about some of those times . I didn't tell every story , but I've told quite a bit in regards to that .

So check out season one and season two of the call me , mr U the podcast . Of course , wherever you get your audio listening , that will not be on YouTube , but Spotify , Alhart Radio , pandora , apple Podcast . You can find those episodes there .

You hear a lot , but what I'm hearing from people who are coming down from up north is that they just can't stay in that life anymore . They don't even know why exactly it happened , just like it wasn't a job change per se . It wasn't a job change per se , it wasn't even a family change , it's just something just changed inside of them .

A switch got flipped inside of them , and so you know , I can't stay here anymore . It's time for me to move on , and those are the kind of things that happen to people . As a matter of fact , if you are a scribe to the Bible at all , look at the story of Abraham . He was locked in and settled with his family .

Yeah , they were in idol worship , but he was locked in and settled . I don't see any indication that he had any problems with his being in that environment . He just . But he was there , his family was there , he had comfort in being there with his family . And god told him to move and unsettled everything . God didn't even tell him where to go .

He just said move to a place where I'll tell you where you're going to go and why . So that Abram can become Abraham , so that he can become a father of many nations , so that you will be here .

So he went to a place that had uncertainty , a place that was unknown to him , a place he didn't have any familiarity with , and it caused massive changes to take place throughout generations in history . History and you are here because of his decision . So think about that . All the folks I've been hearing it's been coming down here .

They all have different reasons for why , but the result is the same they need something different . They need to be away from the thing that had been a strain in their life , elements that were part of their life that they were good for them . It needed to be filtered out . That's what that change did .

When I moved to the South from New York , I was in need of a filter . I had so many things in my life , attached to my life , that just weren't good for me . They were destroying me . To be quite frank , they were bringing me down to a place where I was having some real bad thoughts and thinking about doing some really bad things to myself and to others .

I needed to get out of my environment and that changed my entire life . I'm in a place where I can't even thank the Lord enough for the blessings that I have , because I moved by faith out of the place where I was into where he wants me to be . I talk to folks all the time .

Usually it's in the area of some kind of mentoring , private coaching or just private discussions with friends or people who I'm connected with and a lot of them have the same struggle , but very few of them are willing to move from where they are . The Lord told me through that dream you can't eat what they eat . You can't eat where they eat .

It is for the masses , meaning the cafeteria is for the masses , but I'm going to feed you . That kind of word can be scary to some people . It was startling to me . I'm not the kind of person that wants to eat out of a cafeteria or a buffet . Anyway . 2020 fixed that for me . If it was ever partially broken , it's been totally fixed for me .

I haven't done it since . Don't intend to Cafeterias and buffets . That's for the birds , that's not for me . No offense to anybody who likes cafeterias and buffets . Keep doing what you do , but for me I'm not going to do that .

So to hear this word that says you can't eat what they eat , you can't eat where they eat it's for the masses , but I'm going to feed you that's a startling word . It requires a lot of faith because it's something that you can't see and you don't fully comprehend , but you got to trust it .

People move down here on faith From places like Ohio , seattle , washington , new York State , chicago , illinois . They moved down here on faith . I've met them . They only have to look in their eyes and tell you they're not even sure what's going to happen .

Their plans are still not fully developed , even in their own minds , and they already live down here and they already moved their stuff down here . They moved their families down here . They're not even sure what's going to happen next . They moved down here on faith whether they knew it or not , and God's calling for that at this time .

Some of you guys and I can hear it through the conversation that we've had , things that I hear from you , even things that I see on your social media . I ain't stalking you guys , but I went into some stuff . Sometimes it sounds to me

and it looks to me this is my personal opinion , I'm not an expert it looks to me like people are going through a filter right now . Things are being strained out , they're being separated from certain elements in their life and it's hard , it's causing a strain , there's a pull .

Things are being moved , things are being blocked , that's because you're in the filter . I want to encourage you today Don't fear the filter . Don't fear the filter . It's good for you . The thing that would normally stick with you and stay attached aren't good for you . They're to your detriment . Strain them through the filter . Go through the filter .

Go through the process . Go through the process . Allow yourself to be strained so you can come out the way you want to , the way you need to be . You can come out in the form and the fashion you need to be standing in . You'll have much more strength and confidence and influence than you ever have . If you go through the process of growing .

There's a book that I just love . I want to close the the process of growing . There's a book that I just love . I want to close the episode out with this . There's a book that I love . It's in my top five books . There's five books that I just read every single year . I go through them every year . It's kind of part of my tradition .

It's one of these top five books of the book called the Ten Critical Laws of Relationship . If you know me , you know why it's a big deal . I'm big on relationships . If I can't forge relationships . I'll keep right on stepping . If I can do it , if I can forge a relationship with you . You already know I'm going to go all out .

I'm going to give you a shirt off my back . There's almost nothing I won't do for you . I aspire to be that kind of friend . Maybe you are too . Maybe you think I'm insane for doing that . That's totally your call , your opinion . But for me , relationships are a big deal . It's what I talk about , it's what I teach about , it's what I try to live as .

I aspire to personally develop myself . There is a book called the 10 Critical Laws of Relationship . I definitely invite you to check it out . It's by Rob Thompson . It's an incredible book . In our top five books . I read it every year and I want to share just one little passage with you on that as we close the show out today .

Okay , all right , I'll read it out to you . You can see it right here on the screen , but I'll read it out to you . It says I have realized that the quality of my life is greatly dependent upon those I call friend . Low self-esteem has plagued so many of us .

Because of poor self-image , we have befriended people who have either exploited us or , at best , just used us . We find it hard to believe that anyone of good standing would want to be in relationship with us . This self-devaluation is probably the single greatest cause of poor relationships . You're going to become like those that you associate with bottom line .

You're going to become like those that you associate with . Why am I bringing this up ? Because that filter that people are going through , that I'm telling you , I'm seeing and I'm hearing from you guys personally , is because of who you associate with . It's because of who you're connected with , and that's a really big deal .

It's because of who you're connected with , and that's a really big deal , it's important . And I recognize that you've been there for a while and it's hard for you to think about stepping away because you've so ingrained in so many tentacles already into these connections , in this relationship that you have helped to build .

But my question to you is this this relationship that you have helped to build , but my question to you is this is it where God wants you to be ? Now ? I'm not going to sit here and question whether you should have ever been there , but some of you , god may be saying you should have never been attached to these people .

It may be hard to believe after 10 , 15 , 20 years and you probably think God blessed all of that . Maybe he didn't . Only he knows that , and you know that from a relationship with him . I've seen situations where I was in decade-long relationships and I shouldn't have been associated with these people whatsoever .

They didn't do anything to help me , to encourage me . I was just continually fighting for an image that wasn't even real . That wasn't even anything that was supposed to be important for me , fighting to be like this in their eyes for decades . And the Lord never said that for me . He never wanted me to live under my privileges , so to speak .

So I challenge you today to look at the relationships you're in , look at the challenges you're going through , look at the filter that you're going through and let the process happen . It may be time for you to step away . It may be time for you to disconnect yourself from the people . Some of them may be equivalent to crabs in a bucket .

Every time you think about leaving , they hit you with guilt . They try to break your legs and try to break your self-esteem , try to break your pride . They make you feel lower than you should feel , make you feel like you can't do anything without them . Crabs in a bucket .

We got a podcast episode about a couple of those about that as well this year and in season three . Check them out . I think they'd help you out in this situation .

Unhitch yourself , go through the filter Because God has a people for you , god has relationships for you that will better you , that will encourage you , that will inspire you and lift you higher , as opposed to keeping you where you are . Some folks like we read in that passage from 10 Critical Laws are people who devalue you .

They don't say you're ugly , you're fat , you're bad . They don't say those things to you , but the way they treat you kind of lets you know

where they see you . They put you in an unfavorable spot or undesirable position because that's how they see you . It's not a holding place , it's a prison , it's a little mini jail . Don't let anybody put you in lockup , and God has so much purpose for you . Unhitch yourself from situations like that .

If you don't know what they are , if you're not sure about that , begin to pray . Begin to ask the Lord to reveal to you . If you're in that kind of situation , if you're in that kind of bucket , if you're in a little mini jail where people are giving you just enough to live but not enough to grow . I'm going to say that again for those in the back .

Ask the Lord to reveal to you if somebody's giving you in your life , in your circle , in your community they're giving you just enough to live , just bread and water , just enough to live but not enough to grow and develop and become all you're supposed to be , but you're helping them be all they're supposed to be . I'm talking to somebody I know I am .

I pray this is a blessing to you . Hope it . Ministers , I got to get out of here , but enjoy the episode . Please like , share , subscribe and share this episode with somebody who you may think may need to hear this . If it's not them , it's you . Listen to it again and again until you may think may need to hear this . If it's not them , it's you .

Listen to it again and again until you get what you need . But I'm excited for you . I'm excited for your future . I'm excited for your breakout out of that jail . You deserve better . Enjoy the music . Coach out , thank you .