Taylor Hill: How to Navigate Emotional Challenges & Ways to Practice Gratitude in Lifes’ Unexpected Hard Times

be happier, healthier, and more healed. This would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make bet that's a bigger, brighter content for you and the world.

and understood. And I want you to be able to relate to the experiences, the challenges, the journeys that our audience and our guests go on. And today I'm so excited, I'm so grateful, and I'm really honored to be having this conversation.

many more. Taylor's life was forever changed when she became mom to her late labradoodle Tate. Their special bond together inspired Taylor to create Tit and Taylor, a rapidly growing media content platform and community for pets and their humans. Today, we dive into Tate and Taylor's story. Please welcome to the show, Taylor Hill. Hello, Taylor, thank you for being here.

and so I want to start asking you. What would you say is your earliest childhood memory that you feel has defined who you are today.

and I specifically remember the candle was Barbie like. It was a very intricate candle. And everyone's singing Happy Birthday, and then I'm supposed to blow out the candles and then my friend he blew the candles out before I could, and I got so upset, and I was very emotional and I was like kind of crying and I got so mad, and I was like, why would you do that?

Oh my gosh, I was supposed to do that. And then my mom's like, it's okay, we can you know, we'll light the candle again and then you can blow out the candle. And I was like, well, it's not the same. He took my wish like. I was heartbroken. And I think if that says anything about me, it's just that I'm very emotional and I just sometimes when people do things that aren't so nice to others, I sometimes don't understand. I'm like, why why did you do that?

So that's one of my very first first memories. But I think something that kind of helped like maybe define who I was when from a child I would say is sports. I was a gymnast from when I was nine, I did ballet from when I was six, and then I grew up snowboarding, and I think for me being athletic and being active really helped shape who I am because I've been you know, I've been modeling for fourteen years. I was scouted at fourteen. And I love my job and I love working and I have such a passion

and a drive for it. And I think I have such a drive because of being in sports my whole life and honestly being a gymnast. Not a very good gymnast, but I loved it. I had so much fun doing it, even though I wasn't. My mom's like this girl, she's not going to the Olympics. That was understood, but you know, she encouraged me to do it anyway, and she knew I had fun. And you know, it gives you sort of this sense of structure, and you know, healthy competition

is always a little bit nice. And I love the sport of gymnastics because it's very demanding in a sense and it challenges you to always be better.

let's be hones. But you know, having the drive to like always do better always, you know, perfect this trick, perfect that flip, do this, do that, and you know, push myself it was, and push myself in something I enjoyed doing kind of gave me the I have a similar headspace and my modeling career just because I love doing it and I love my job and I just want to, like, I just want to keep doing it, you know. So I think that's two things about me.

and see the kids in the neighborhood. So I did see this boy multiple times, and he was a really good friend. It was very innocent. You know, we were only maybe three years old, so he didn't know what he was doing either, But I just didn't understand.

I thought it was great, and I thought it was really profound, and it touched on a lot of things in a really interesting and kind of a lighthearted way. So yeah, I had a childhood connection to Barbie for sure, So I loved her. And then the candle was blown out. I was I was like, how could you do that?

And you know, when I was scouted and I started traveling and you know, working as a model, it meant that, you know, I went to New York, I signed with IMG when I was fourteen, and from there I went everywhere. You know, I traveled the world that you know, fourteen years old, and my mom came with me everywhere I went. You know, I did Paris Fashion Weeks, I did New York Fashion Week. I went to Australia and I lived there for a month or two. You know, milan all

those spaces, and she came with me everywhere. And I definitely wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for my mom and her support. And I know it was a difficult thing for even her to navigate. She had three other children at home, and you know, we were all trying to figure out how we were going to do this. My grandpa was a huge hell he you know, would come with me places as well, and he would live with me places. He lived with me in La for a bit. He traveled with me. And then when

my older sister was eighteen. She would travel with me and she would live with me, which wasn't much help because she was eighteen and I was seventeen, so you can imagine how fun that was for us to do.

But you know, my mom always wanted to make sure I had somebody with me who was just like another set of eyes making sure I was good and I, you know, I I could take care of myself, and she made sure to teach me how to you know, read signs in an airport and this is what this means, this is how you get to your gate, and this is how you do this, and you know, don't take a car ride from a stranger, you know. So she was really really good at making sure I was able

to do all of that. And then my siblings, you know, I think it was really we just didn't know. You know, you don't know what you don't know, and I think we didn't really know any better than it better. And it was like, oh, well, this is Taylor's doing this, so this is what she does now. And they were you know, nothing changed I think for them because they didn't never see me differently. They were just like, well, Taylor goes to work instead of goes to school, so whatever,

you know. And I think because we were all a similar age, they did have an understanding of what I was doing.

It was definitely interesting. I look back on it and I'm like, oh, wow, how did we do that? I don't know, we just kind of did it. You know.

we looked into so many different options. I did do homeschooling for a little bit, and ultimately that was still really difficult based off of how much I was working, because you know, you have to put in at least five to six hours a day even online school, you know, because you have to commit an hour or so for each class. I was in different time zones, getting one on one time with my teachers to explain something to me.

It was very difficult. So, you know, I tried to go back to regular high school, but you know, in Colorado they don't have these child entertainment laws like they do in California. There was no structure for me to be able to do both. So ultimately I dropped out of high school and I got my GED instead, and I just I left school totally at fifteen and started

full time modeling at fifteen. And to me, it was really exciting because I felt like I all I would think about while I was in school, was I can't wait to get out of here. Stay in school, you know what I mean? Don't do what I do. No, I'm just kidding. I do value school. I think education is really important, but I do think that it's not always for everyone, and people learn differently. And I feel like I went to sort of a school of life. I guess you could say I kind of learned by

doing and by seeing the world. So I have a different education than what academia maybe teaches you. So I am grateful that I got to experience some school of like a normal childhood to an extent until about fifteen. But I'm grateful I started, I left, and I was done and doing what I was doing. By fifteen, I felt like, Okay, this is it, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. So I was just ecstatic. I was just I was where I was meant to be.

world were victoria Secret models, you know. You know. Giselle Bunchin was like one of my favorites and I love her and look up to her. She's why I went to IMG, because I was like, just how much IMG at the time she was. I don't think she still is, but when I signed with them, she was still with them, so I was like, I want to be where she is.

And Carly Klauss is with IMG, and I wanted to be where she was, so I I just I feel like when I went from doing you know, fashion and more commercial brands, like I did shoot a lot of for H and M and Forever twenty one and some like some of these younger maybe fashion lines that were

more for you know, teenagers like myself. So I did work a lot with brands like that, and then kind of when I turned eighteen, I was switching into more of you know, adult modeling, which is so crazy because I was still so young eighteen year old, and I tried out for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show just because, you know, because why not everybody wants to do it.

I wanted to try out and I wanted to do this, so I went and I auditioned for it, and when I booked it, I was shocked because I really didn't think that I would get it on the first time and on the first audition, because so many people go

back multiple multiple times. But probably because I'd had you know, a fashion career and had been on runways since I was fourteen, I was able to sort of be in the room and kind of maybe know a little bit more about what was happening, Whereas I feel like some girls start modeling at eighteen sixteen, eighteen, you know, so they're still new and newer. And I, even though I was still really young, I had been working for four years. So I felt ready for it and I was excited

for it. And when I booked it, I was shocked and I was like, I can't believe I'm here right now in a way, this is happening.

in Paris, so I was familiar with him. And for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, you go to a pre casting with him and his casting team, and you know, you do the walk, they record you, they film me, They ask you questions, where are you from, how old are you, what agency are you with, So it's just a little bit of your personality or the way you talk on video, and then they take your picture and then I guess they probably take it back to the

Victoria's Secret internal casting team that also does showcasting. Because when you get into the main room at the Victoria's Secret headquarters, there's five or six people at a table in front of you, and then five or six people behind them sitting in chairs, and they all have notepads, and you know, there's a big camera and they're filming you, and you know, you do the whole like walk thing, and they asked you to do it again. You do that.

So I did a pre casting with the casting director directly, and then I went back in for a callback, which was the main casting. So they had probably seen my tape and seen my pre casting video and thought, okay, let's request her for our main casting. So I went into that, and then you know, sometimes there's another one and there's another callback, and you know, another casting you

have to do. But I was working in LA, So I went to my casting and got on a flight and landed in LA and got a call that I booked the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. So that's what I did. That's how it happened to me.

clothes or whatever. It was like I've never worn something like this, or did you feel that or was it not like that for you?

and I loved gymnastics and I love moving. And you know, if you're on the right set and you have the right team around you, and you know a lot of the Victoria's Secret team from that time, I've known them for a really long time, and I have worked with a lot of the photographers in the past, and you know, it felt like a safe space. And my memory and my interpretation of that environment was that I was safe. So I felt comfortable and I was just like, this is what we're doing now, and I had the best

time doing it. So for me, I never felt afraid to do anything. So I just was so excited, I guess, or maybe I was just young. I was like, WHOA, I don't know, maybe A bit of both, you know.

So I don't know, I never felt I never I know some people do feel that, and that's something I have felt like that for sure, definitely, but maybe not in those instances and maybe not at that time, just because a combination of you know, excitement and you know, youth, never having that experience before, being excited to be there, so it kind of wiped away the fear a little bit. And maybe I was a little delusional and kind of was like, whoa, this is so cool. You know, it's

like rose colored glasses a little bit. But I've been in some scenarios where I'm like, yeah, maybe not, so, you.

cop car or NYPD or whatever. Like to me, it's like I've only ever seen that in a TV show or a movie, and so it's really fascinating. And then you see the Empire state. And then when I moved to LA it was the same thing. It was Wait

a minute. Even now, when I'm driving down the street and there's palm trees on either side, I'm like, I'm on vacation, because yeah, in my head, like that's such a it's such an alien experience having grown up in London that you know, living in LA So I kind of have some of that youthful enthusiasm around some of these things too, because it reminds me of a time when I used to watch TV religiously and what I grew up on. So I can resonate with that feeling.

Whereas someone will always be like, oh do anything La is like this or New York's like this. I'm like, to me, it just reminds me of what I saw.

where I'm just like, oh, whoa this is? You know, I don't like this. I don't like this feeling or what's happening here and what's going on there. So there's definitely both, Like I don't want, you know, the perception of me to feel like she just whatever, she has no idea what's going on, She's in a bubble, and I'm just no. I just feel. I just feel grateful, And I think the most important emotion for me to

feel daily is gratitude. So just I try to remind myself where I'm at and where I came from and just be grateful to be here. So that's my genuine consensus on things.

a balanced and happy mind. Through our commitment to our wellness journey and striving to fuel our bodies with the healthiest ingredients, It's been our purpose to make healthy choices accessible for all, which is why Juni is now on shelves at Target. So head to our store locator at Drinkjuni dot com and find Juni at a Target near you. Yeah. You obviously have a hard work ethic and a drive, which is what you're talked about with sports and that discipline.

Walk us through the discipline of being a Victoria Secret model. Like to die at the workout, the plan the day, like the hour?

that arena, I did have to start working out. You know, there was an air there was a time where I was like, Okay, well, if I want to be in the best shape of my life for this one really important day, then I'm going to take it. I'm going to step it up a notch. So there was some preparation. Probably when I was like twenty one to twenty two, I started you know, amping it up in terms of like the exercise and diet and stuff like that when

we were training for the show. But you know, there was such a Sometimes there's such a negative connotation in terms of talking about those things because I think a lot of people have maybe an unhealthy perspective of it because Victoria's Secret wasn't inclusive and it wasn't a welcome space for everybody. You know, it was welcome for you know, women who were six feet tall and naturally slim, and you know, and then they were really fit on top

of that. So if you're an outsider looking in, it looks like a really well not everybody looks like that. And I don't see myself there, yeah, fair enough. Sometimes even I didn't see myself there, you know, So I had to train hard to get there. But you know, I always tried to be as healthy as I could with it, and you know, keep a positive outlook on

it for me personally in my journey. And like how I went about training for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, I sort of looked at it like maybe an athlete would. I'm not an athlete obviously, but you know, the level of training that I would do and the diets I would be on. If a footballer came in and you know, started talking about his diet, people would accept it, I think,

because he is an athlete. But you know, if I come in and say how I was working out and what I was eating, because I'm a six foot tall, naturally slim woman, I think it could be you know, taken negatively and miscan strewed. But I just want to assure people that you know, I did do it healthy, like I was very healthy when I was doing it. This is my natural physique. I know that everybody doesn't look like this, and not everybody can relate to that. And that's I hear you, and I see you, and

I hope you. You know, don't take anything that I say and misinterpret it and say like to look like her, I have to do this. No, don't do that. You know, do what you need to do and for you and your body. And when I was training for that, I did what I needed to do for my body. So I can get into that. I did a lot of like hit cardio training. So I had a personal trainer who's amazing, Christina. She's near and dear to my heart.

She's so intelligent. She has, you know, a nutrition background as well, so she was making sure that I was eating the amount of food I should be eating for the exercise that I was doing. And so we sort of did like a mix of things. It was weightlifting. I love weightlifting. It's really fun. I also I'm a crazy person, like I love exercise. I love fitness. I like working out it's it's really it's good for my mental health. When I work out. I work out because I want to do it for my mind, not for

how my body looks. So but for the Victoria's Secret Fashion job, obviously, I was training for a reason, so I did care about you know, muscle definition and all that fun stuff. So we did like you know, weight training, weightlifting. You know, it would be like interval like we would you know, sprint on a treadmill and then hold a

plank kind of stuff like that. And I really liked that type of workout because it was it was you know, high energy and going from one thing to the next thing, and it was challenging, and it kind of sort of reminded me of maybe my gymnastics background and the sports I'd done before, where they're a little bit more dynamic

and you're moving around a lot. And then you know, for diet, I would eat pretty healthy just I would eat like I would make sure I was gluten free though, just because I think sometimes gluten can respond in your body in a negative way. So something I know some people our gluten free around the VS Show. Be gluten free for about a month, no alcohol for about a month, and a half or so leading up to the show day, just because alcohol is never going to help you if

you're trying to, like, you know, gain muscle weight. So that was my sort of goal, was muscle, not never managing or washing my weight. It was more just about, you know, making sure I was eating lean proteins. I had like protein shakes. In the morning. I would have a gluten free bagel. I would have eggs, vegetables. I ate chicken, breast, ate sweet potato, I ate sushi, rice fish, I ate all kinds of things like that, and making sure that it was enough based off of what the

kind of exercise I was doing. So the trainer that would work with me on my fitness routine, she also worked with me on the food I was consuming. Hey, need to make sure you're consuming before you see me. You need to eat this amount and then we come and we're going to work out and we're going to do this, and then you go home and you have this protein shake, so we know you're getting the right nutrients that you need to fuel your body. So yeah, hopefully.

as for sure. So I do take that into account and I know that's it's a lot, and I hope people can maybe listen to me in my perspective and know, like I was trying to be I was really healthy in the way that I was trying to do this and go about this, and I never want to like perpetuate that somebody should do something or you know, work out a certain way to look like a Victoria's Secret model, because you know that's not fair and not everybody looks

like used to look like that. That's not what's beautiful. You know, Beauty is so much more than what people were trying to make us believe it was at that time. So I just wanted to put that.

were training yourself like an athlete. Yeah, but we know we I know I can't be Tom Brady or I know I can't be Lebron James neither.

know it's coming back. Yeah, the plan iss to be more inclusive.

phase in my life where, you know, maybe I don't want to work out like that anymore, you know what

I mean. When I was younger, and you know, it was exciting to do so then sure I could, definitely, I was, let's do this, But you know, ten years later and also I haven't don that show, and how many years now, how long has it been since the last one, you know, so five years maybe, maybe four, maybe more, I don't know, you know, I feel when it comes back I am excited that it's going to be so so different, but also I hope that we can still maintain some of the fund some of the

glamor some of the beauty, because I think reclaiming it for ourselves as women is really important, because you know, if you want to feel sexy and you want to be sexy, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but you want to do it for yourself, not for not for the objectification of what men want, you know, so, and I think that's the difference now, and I think, you know that's definitely the goal with the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show coming back is to make sure that women

are doing it. You know, we're comfortable. They asked me, you know what wings would you want to wear? And are you excited about doing this? And you know, what do you want to see when the show comes back? And I really appreciate that, you know, I value that they're asking how I feel and you know what I would like to see as a woman doing it, as a woman who's done it before, and you know, we'll

probably do it again. So I'm just I'm excited that it's going to be very different, and I hope that it can be perceived in a way that's you know, not setting an unrealistic beauty standard, because that's what it one hundred percent what it was. And you know, maybe I was maybe some of that like expectation was put on me, but I didn't realize it at the time because I was so young, you know, I didn't. You

don't again, you don't know what you don't know. And now that I'm twenty eight, you know, ten years later from my first show, if I look back on my first show, it's kind of like, I'm sure so many women who were at that show felt such an intense pressure to look a certain way and work out a certain way, and that's probably why some people had an unhealthy relationship with it. And maybe just the timing of my age and where I was at and where my headspace was that I got really lucky that I didn't

feel any of those things. But that doesn't mean it still wasn't happening for other people, and that doesn't mean that it didn't make society or other women watching it feel that way. So like, you know, I just I hope that, well, yeah, there's definitely both. They could both sit with sit with me, so everyone.

different things at the exact same time. So I look back on it and I have new emotions that sit alongside the old ones and the joy and like the wow that I felt there, And I can see how everything happened, and I can see the heaviness, and I can understand, like I see where maybe by me talking so positively about it makes other people feel a negative way Like I I would never want to make somebody feel like that, So I have to acknowledge that and be like Okay, I know I see now like we've

we were like we were the early two thousands, we were in this bubble of this thing and it popped, and now we can see clearly and I see it, so I get it. But you know, also, if I'm going to talk about my personal experience while I was in it, it was I did have a great time, and I I personally went about it and what I

feel like was as healthy as I could possibly be. Like, trust me, I was eating, I was working out, I was doing I was doing all the things like I should be doing to make sure that I'm not, you know, being unhealthy and having like a negative thing that was happening in my mind and my body.

others grace. We've got to give everyone time and space to kind of understand and grow and rise together. Because and this doesn't just apply to the beauty industry or the modeling industry. This applies to so many industries across the world where I think there's a need for collective grace on both sides and then and then rising together. And I love and I completely agree with you. I

think you're allowed to have your own experience. I almost think about it sometimes to do with entrepreneurship too, Like a lot of people will be like, entrepreneurship is really tough, it's really hard work, and there's the hustle culture of you have to work eighteen hours a day and you have to do this, and you have to do that. And I always say to people like, if I'm completely honest, for the first two years of my career, three years of my career, I did work eighteen hours a day,

and I'm really happy I did. Like it was amazing and I'm really grateful, And yes, some parts of it were unhealthy, but it allowed me to get to where I wanted to get to in order to put things in place to be more healthy. And that's my personal experience in it, and that's not right or wrong or the best way or the worst way. It's just how

it's worked for me. And you could look at that and be like, oh, well, eighteen hours of the hustle culture and there's no balance, and I'm like, but it's each of us have got to find what's comfortable and natural for us, and you're allowed to have your own experience and also recognize that there's negatives within it.

terrible time. Maybe you were having fun and you were just excited that you to do this work and all that stuff. And then you can look back on and be like, WHOA, I was actually some more overwhelmed than I thought I was. Oh okay, likes I That's what that was. Because sometimes you feel these things and some new emotions that you've never felt before, and you can't pinpoint what it is exactly until you hear somebody else say it, or there's a new topic of discussion where

people are like, do you guys ever feel this? And then you're like, I do feel that? What is that? And then you discover oh, it's burnout? Yes, Oh see, there was never a word for it before. That's what that is. It's just like acknowledging and recognizing something and then being like, Okay, well we're not going to do that anymore. But I did do it, so you know we're not going to do that.

and no one ever used that language. I saw multiple doctors, no one ever said it to me, and so I just moved on with life and got on with it, and it became better at dealing with it. And now I look back and I'm like, oh, now there's a word for it, and now we can label it and talk about it.

You shared this on social media. You talked about the loss of Tate and the grief you've experienced, which is what's led to Tate and Taylor, which is this incredible new platform and company that's supporting so many people walk.

I want to talk about what you've built and the passion and the purpose behind it, but let's talk about the grief of losing a friend, because that's really what they say, is a really dear friend walk me through those nine years and the amazing relationship you built with Tate.

and it sounds I hope it don't sound crazy. Yeah, I gonna sound a little crazy, but like, I just feel like the love that you know, dogs and animals in general have for humans is so unconditional, you know, and they have no judgment. They don't want anything from you but your love back, and it's so pure and

it's so innocent. It's almost childlike in a way, you know, when I I can only imagine, you know, when you hold a newborn baby for the first time, that immediate connection that you feel to this thing that I can't even talk get and is just a part of you. It's really special to have such a deep connection to something that literally wants nothing from you except for also the like unconditional love. So to have take com into my life at that time was so special, just because

so much was changing. You know, I was growing up. I was, you know, becoming a young woman from a girl to a woman, and he was there for that. And you know, I was traveling all the time, and I was away from family, and I just had this little, tiny, innocent soul with me that just always looked at me, like, you're the best, and I love you. And Tate taught

me so much. I mean, he taught me, you know, responsibility, caring for something other than myself, you know, taking care of him, you know, pouring love into him and making sure that he was good and you know even well behaved, and training him and doing all those things is showing him an act of love and making sure that he's a confident, comfortable dog he could be in any scenario. And he was the best boy. And I think he also kind of knew that I was just kind of out there winging.

to each other. And you know, he was he was so it sounds crazy to say this about a dog, but he was so emotional, Like his eyes were so human. He could look at me and I knew what he was saying or what he was thinking, or I felt that he could feel what I was thinking or what I was feeling. And I definitely think that he also taught me a lot about you know, emotion and you know being. You know what's that saying? You know, be the person your dog thinks you are. They think you're great.

You know, they're like, I love you no matter what. Yes, mom, Yes, So if that's the energy they give you, right, it's like, oh, you're the best, and it's just like am I the best? But to how something, you know, this little creature just

look at you and think you're the best. It kind of makes you want to be the best, right, you know, constantly trying to grow and be better and change, and you know, nobody's perfect and no one will ever be perfect, and we're always learning and we're always growing and we're always changing. But having something to do that for and having someone to do that with is is really is It's different, you know, like it's more intentional, right, So trying to be better because Tait thinks I'm the best

is a different motivation. So he definitely was there for me through, you know, so much of my life and so much of my life changing. I think from you know, eighteen to twenty seven are pretty formative years. I don't I'm not a doctor, but someone told me once that your brain stops developing a twenty five or something. So you know, he was there. Oh sorry, I hit the mic top with my hands. He was there. He was there from when I had an undeveloped brain to a

developed brain. You know, he kind of just saw me through and he was He was just the best, I mean, the love of my life, I mean, my soulmate really because he just knew, you know, and I've never had a connection with any anyone like that that I've had with Tate. So I'm just I'm really grateful that he was in my life. He's the inspiration behind me even wanting to start a pet company, just because I love

him so much. And I know other people have felt that before, people who've had you know, what I like to call a soul dog, they know what I'm talking about, you know, they know that feeling. And when I shared that I lost Tate, people who who'd you know, been on my journey with me and been maybe following me for a bit, no the day I got him, and maybe saw saw him on my Instagram all the time. I mean, he was probably in every single picture on my Instagram for nine years, so I feel like people

felt like they knew him. And when I said when I, you know, shared that he was sick, and then when I ultimately shared that he had passed, the overwhelming amount of support and you know, messages that I got and also shared experiences that I received from I lost my soul dog ten years ago and I still think about them every single day. It made me feel It made me feel less alone and less maybe kind of strange for feeling this way about a dog, because I you know,

you get both you get. I got amazing, overwhelming comments that were just overwhelmingly positive. I mean, just you know, I know what you've what you're going through. I went through this, you know. Just remember He's always with you. You know. I got messages like that that touched me so deeply and positively, and I just felt so grateful that I got those messages. But then, of course you get the flip side where people don't understand. They're like, oh, it's

a dog, what's the big deal. You know, Oh, it's a dog. Move on. I'll never move on from Tate's death. My grief will change, for sure. My perspective of his death will change, and it has even since I lost him. You know, I it's devastating and it's heartbreaking, and you know, to anyone who's felt that, I know that feels like and don't let anybody rush you. You know, some people don't understand it's just because this is a dog and

you know, not a person. It doesn't mean that they don't deserve the same amount of time and space and energy you would give to grieving anything else. So I would just say, you know, take your time, and you're not alone. And it's not a fun thing to go through at all. So I think I'll always miss Tate. You know, I don't see how I can't, you know. And I think to say to get over something is such a harsh way of saying it because I'll probably never get over it. I'll never really get over losing Tate.

I can heal from it, and I can find, you know, peace with it, But those are two completely different things. Getting over it? How do you get over that?

I was saying to you. I've had two friends recently who've both lost pets that they were dogs that they were close to for many, many years, and I've been talking to them and when this opportunity came up to talk to you, I was thinking about you, and then thinking about them, and I can't wait to share this conversation with them because it's I don't think there's anyone who has a pet that they're deeply close to that sees it as a loss that's different of any kind.

hits you that this may not last.

He would always sometimes I don't want to say the word throw up, but sorry guys, So if you're triggered by that. He would throw up his food sometimes, and he like it didn't always like sit well with him. And he he had, like you know, already had like digestion problems from when he was a puppy, but probably a couple of weeks before his cancer diagnosis, he was still throwing up food. He was like drinking water excessively, like drinking a lot of water, like he seemed very,

very thirsty. And then when I ultimately was like, okay, something is really really wrong, it was incontinence. So he was peeing in the bed at night, which was he never did that. He was such a good boy. I was like, he would never do this intentionally. So I took him to the doctor and I was like, something is wrong. He's you know, it's not strange or abnormal that he's throwing up his food, but it's strange that he threw up water yesterday, and it's strange that he

peed in the bed. And I don't think that those are normal things. So you know, they're doing blood tests. His calcium levels are off. I don't remember in what way, just because honestly, it's all a bit of a blur because it's it was a very emotional time. So but I do remember his calcium levels. There was something wrong there. So they did another test that was a bit more of a deep dive into that. They were like, okay, yeah, this is a problem. We should probably do an X ray. So,

you know, that was a week ago. So now it's a week later, and you know, getting these appointments and like seeing the doctors, you know, it's just sometimes not always easy, even in dogs, even you know, in veterinary circumstances, it's weirdly sometimes similar to human doctors. You know, it's just getting these appointments and getting into sea it's like, well, something is wrong. Can we just do this now? Why

are we sitting here and waiting? He doesn't feel good, So we go in for the x ray, and you know, sure enough, they find a mass in his shoulder and his lymph node near his shoulder, and they're like, okay, well we think it's lymphoma. So you know, you need to take him to an oncologist, and you know, these are the oncologists that we recommend. I'm calling every hospital in New York that I possibly can to see. You know, who can I take him to right away? Everyone was,

you know, this was maybe May. Everyone was like, our next appointment isn't until June sixteenth. Our next appointment isn't until July sixteenth. I'm like, okay, well, my dog was just diagnosed with cancer, or what they think to be is cancer. I can't imagine that he can wait until June or July. And I don't really know what to do next. So he starts getting worse, and he's not eating anymore, and he has no appetite and he can't keep even water down. So my husband actually takes him

to the vet. I'm out of town when this is happening, and she says, he's in a really bad state. He's severely dehydrated. You need to take him to the emergency room right now, and they'll check him into the ICU and then maybe then he'll be seen by an oncologist. And I was like, why didn't you tell me that before? Oh my god, I would have done that a week ago, even though he wasn't in a state of emergency. He has we think he has cancer. We think he has

tell tea cell and foma that's very aggressive. So we my husband takes him to the emergency room, and sure enough they do. They check him into the ICU. He's, you know, very severely dehydrated, he's very weak, he hasn't eaten in like two days, and he's on a wait list to see an oncologist that day. And well, remembering all this is hard because I wasn't in town. This was happening, and I get the calls that Tates in

the emergency room, Tates in the ICU. I'm not there, petrified I'm going to lose him, and I'm not going to be there. And he's seen by the oncologists. They do all the tests, they do all the scans. Yes, he does have T cell lymphoma. It's throughout his entire body. He has multiple you know, masses on multiple lymph nodes. And he definitely doesn't have much much more time left. So I get home as soon as I can. I'm in the I see you with him, and you know,

all this is happening days before our wedding. Actually, I was in the hospital with him on a Monday, and on Thursday, I was meant to fly back home to

Colorado to get married. And I'm in New York in the hospital, in the icy with Tate, and you know, I'm looking at him and I'm asking him, like, if you if you need to go, wait, please let me know, like I will let you go, you know, Like I don't want to make him do anything that he doesn't want to do, because sometimes I feel like when you're dealing with a sick animal, we can be quite selfish.

And I want him to be there, and I want him to be okay, and I want him to be at my wedding and all these things that I want, But what about him. He doesn't feel good, he's sick,

he's in the hospital. So Tate was at the Animal medical Center in New York, the Shworsman Animal Medical Center, And a lot of what we do at TIT and Taylor is I have a whole cancer like a fuck cancer merch collection line where one hundred percent of the profit that we make goes back to a fund that they have at the Animal Medical Center called the Buddy Fund. And what the Buddy Fund does is help subsidize the cost or cover the cost in total of chemotherapy and

cancer treatments and pets. It's an incredible program and it's an incredible hospital and a part of my journey and story with Tate, so much of it has to do with the amazing the oncology department at the Animal Medical Center is amazing. They're the largest nonprofit hospital in the world, and they they have so many amazing programs there. They're teaching hospital, so it's a really it's a great place.

Tate was in the best hands when he was there, and while even though I was going through something quite emotional and a turbulent time of is he going to make it to one of the most special days of my life and or is he not? I I had an amazing doctor there. She was so supportive. She was about to get married. She was, you know, getting married a week after me. So she was I have a dog and she was like, I can't She's like, I

can't imagine what you're feeling right now. I mean she's at She's like, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. You know, getting married, your dog in the hospital, this is your baby, and you know you're he might not be there. So the team that the oncology team was so amazing with Tate and with me. They did everything in their power. They're like, well, we think we should start, you know, the chop protocol, which is what he started,

and he started responding to it really positively. So I'm you know, there's a small segue cut back to you know, I'm looking at Tate. I'm like, please tell me, like, do you want to fight this? Like are you gonna stick it out? You don't have to do that, you don't have to come. I know I want you to, but I need to do what's best for you. And after I you know, said this to him, he it's you know, he's going in to have a feeding tube put in because he's not eating and he's about to

start the chop protocol. They want to make sure he has nutrients in his body, so they put a feeding tube in so that they can start giving administering, you know, nutrients to him. And immediately flipped. He went from looking like he was on st doorstep to Tate. He was wagging his tail, he was energetic, he was you know, doing it. He was him. I was like, it was the next day, and this was Wednesday. I'm supposed to leave Thursday for the wedding. I was my mind was blown.

I was like, oh my god, I can't believe it. I was like, Tater, are you lying to me right now? What are you doing? What is this? All of a sudden he knew, he knew he wanted to be there. I asked him. I was like, do you what do you need? What do you want? They, you know, put the feeding to him in they're administering his first dose of the chop protocol, and you know, he's able to get some nutrients in his body. He's a different dog. I'm like, Okay, this dog wants to fight this for me.

He wants to pull through right now, so he does make it to the wedding. It was an amazing, beautiful experience to be able to share that with him, because literally every person who he's ever loved and who has ever loved Tate was there and they got to they got to say goodbye to him, you know. As not to sound morbid, but it is. It's in a way

sort of cancer and dogs is it's not curable. They don't live much longer than maybe a year, you know, sometimes in some cases too, like it's different, you know, you they treat dogs to live the best quality of life if they can, for the rest of their lives, until they get to a point where it's okay, well it's their time. So it was a way for people to say goodbye to him because we knew he wouldn't be around for much longer. We didn't know how much longer,

but it wasn't going to be much longer. And it

was really special. You know, my best friend from my childhood, someone I've known since I was five years old, he was what did I call him, oh, my man of honor, and he walked him down the aisle and it was really special, and you know, people were crying and everyone was hugging Tate and kissing Tate and just it was so special for me to be able to see and feel the love for him, knowing what he had gone through and what we were going through, and it felt

like it really felt like a miracle that he made it there and that he was there that day. So then you know, we get back to New York and he's you know, he's on maybe number two or three of his doses. It's a sixteen week process, and we were probably only on like week two and so because he had t cell lymphoma, it's a it's very aggressive and it adapts in the body really quickly, and you know, since Tate had tumors throughout his entire body, we didn't

know how he would respond to it. He was nine years old, so he was older, but he wasn't old old, I guess. So the doctors were like, well, we're not really sure. He's nine. It's old, but he's still energetic. He's still quite youthful. Like we're gonna kind of play it by your and see how this goes. And then it was we were we were in New York for maybe about a week ten days or so, and he started to get really really bad again, really bad. We

take him back to the emergency room. They you know, he's back in the ICU and they're doing all the blood work and the tests and you know, checking on him, and he the cancer in his body had adapted to the to the chemotherapy treatments and it was attacking his kidneys now and essentially, you know, his doctor said, if he doesn't pass from the cancer, he'll pass from kidney failure. So, right, now we're in a position where there's not much more we can do, and he's not comfortable. He's in a

lot of pain. He's very sick. She said, it's completely up to you, and I can't tell you what to do. All I can tell you is where he at, what hit the health. The condition of his health right now is not good. So you know, we ultimately have to come to to the decision to let Tate go because I don't want him to live like that. But so selfish, you know, I think to try to keep treating him when he's Yeah, he's not. He shouldn't. He shouldn't be,

you know. So we were able to make an appointment with the doctor that does humane euthanization in home so that Tate could be with me, my husband, and we were in our home together and we got to hold him, and you know, he didn't have to go back to the hospital because going there was it was a scary thing for Mike could tell it was stressful because that's where they would take him away from me. And I knew he wanted to be with me. He was very attached to me, so I didn't want to have to

take him back there. I didn't want him to have to pass in that environment, not to speak negative. It wasn't a negative space at all. It was actually very happy. It was a very beautiful space. The doctors were amazing there, and it was it was both. It was tough because it was what we were going through was so difficult, but they were so they were so amazing there. They were so positive, their energy was so great. So it wasn't that it was a dark, scary place. It's just

I wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible. And I know that by him walking in there, he was like he would be like, oh no, like I'm in this place again. They're going to take me away from you, mom. So I didn't want to bring him back there, and I have to, you know, his last moments be in a place where he didn't know what was going to happen to him. So we did it at home and it was really special that I got to hold him and you know, come for him and be with him.

That was the most important thing to me. I was I absolutely have to be there, like I have to be there. And I think he knew and I think he wanted me to be there, and he waited so that we could do we could do it together and we could be together. And it's it's a tough thing, you know, like having to, you know, witness someone die is not fun, especially him, you know, for me, he

was he was everything to me. And just based off of that experience that I have with him, I know so many people probably have felt that way, have been in a similar situation, and I know it's it's really hard going through that. So I'm grateful for the way that everything happened with me with Tate. It's so crazy. They know, like they know these spiritual beings. I think animals they are more spiritual than us. They have so much more. They have different types of consciousness, I think

than people do. He knew what I needed and he knew how I needed him to go, and he really did that for me. And it was really even though it was really tough, it was really also beautiful at the same time to be able to hold him in his last moments and he was there for me for every single moment, and I got to be there for

him in this moment. He didn't feel fear, he didn't feel pain, he was I held him in my arms and I was you know, we were just I got to hold him, so he was very I know, he was comfortable, and I felt that with him, and that's why I wanted to be there, so I just could make sure that he felt nothing but comfort and no pain and just happiness and love like you can feel my love. So that's sort of you know, the story of Tate and his illness and his cancer and what

you know, sort of what we went through. And you know, treating cancer is so expensive, even with insurance, and you know, part of why the Buddy Fund is something that we're so passionate about and why I feel like I want Tate and Taylor as a brand to be really cause driven and have an initiative and have a purpose and have a reason behind it is because of, you know,

what I went through with Tate. I started building Tate and Taylor with him, not knowing that any of this would happen, and then before we even got to launch and start the company publicly, I lost him, and it shifted sort of a lot of the drive and some of the purpose that we have and having to decide between having a financial burden and being in a place where you may or may not be able to financially care for your pet and those last precious moments, the

ones that even I know I got to have a Tait. Those last few weeks with him were the best weeks ever in my memory of my life with him, because he got to come to my wedding. He was back to himself for a little bit. These like special little things and times that we shared together. They were so important in how I was able to heal going forward

once I did lose him. So I think being able to help support people who are going through this with their pets and go through cancer and that journey and that path and what that looks like is something I really I have such a passion for and something I really want to be able to help because I went through all of this with him, and I know what that feels like, and I know what that pain is and how out what that weight feels like, and what

the grief feels like. How can I be there for other people and how can I help other people who are going through this so they never have to think

about that? And that's why we picked the Buddy Fund, just because of the experience that I had with Tate at AMC and so many people I know so many people who've who've had that experience, and you know, I spoke with Tate's on collegist, doctor Rachel Lordhal, and you know, we posted it on the Tate and Taylor Instagram and I got a couple of comments that were, like, I

love doctor Rachel. She was there for me with with my with my dog, and you know, she's amazing, and so people feel people feel it from them from that place, and that fund is so impactful because when you're going through something like that, to have to worry about whether or not you can afford care and whether or not you can even get those extra that extra time and just see how they're even going to respond to treatment. I mean, I can't even I don't even want to.

Nobody wants to have to go there and make that decision. So I got so much support when I lost Tate, and I just want to do everything I can to support others because I know other people go through this and there are people in that position, and it breaks my heart to even think that somebody would have to

go through Yeah, I just I can't. It's hard to verbalize that pain, and I because I can, I can so clearly visualize what that feeling could be and having to make that decision, and I got to make it when I did with Tate, and I'm I'm I'm so grateful that I was able to do that. And I just want to be able to share to like give that back, give that time, give it to others, Like how can I help give people more time with their soulmates?

feels like. But even just sitting here listening to you, I know that anyone who has, or anyone who may do so in the future, will have this to turn to as a way of connecting with and to humanize their experience and also validate their experience of how deeply they love this friend in their life. And I wanted to ask you what would you two questions?

and you know you're able to just float. So wherever you're at, where whatever your ocean is doing, just feel it, because one moment it'll feel really calm and you'll feel a sense of perspective, maybe a sense of peace, and then there'll be a memory, or you'll be in a situation where it brings something back up and then the

waves come crashing in and you know that's okay. Sometimes you know, I'm I'm almost a year till to the day that I lost Hat and I'm not fully healed yet, and I think that's going to take maybe a couple more years to even feel like I can say I'm healed from that. I don't think I can ever. I don't think anyone ever necessarily moves on. And I think if they hear the words move on, don't take that, let that roll right off you, because that's not what maybe they mean to move on you. You may never

move on. But to heal is different. You know, to heal a wound that so it no longer opens is a different thing. And I would say to make sure that you're doing the steps and taking care of yourself and the way you need to to heal, because it is a wound. You know, how would you go about if you broke your arm? You know, you would go to the doctor. You would you know, set it in a cast. You would do all these steps to make

sure your arm could work again. So I think that losing someone is sort of it's it's a wound, it's in it's an internal wounds, it's a part, it's it breaks something in our spirit. So it's not something you can see, but it's something that needs addressing. It's something that needs help. It needs time. You know, however, you need to do that and whatever your process looks like to deal with healing just and if you don't know how to do that, I think talking to someone, I

think anyone. It doesn't even have to be a therapist, you know, because I know a lot of people like

to say go to therapy people. Some people don't have access to therapy yet, and that's okay, but talking about it, you know, if there's someone you can relate to, if you can find anyone in your life who will listen and help help you grieve, and you know, talk talk through it with you, writing about it, talking to yourself about it, if you if you prefer writing or journaling, or I think there's a couple of different ways to get started in terms of well, I don't even know

how to heal? What does that mean? Taylor? Where do I start? What's the process? Look like? It's different for everyone?

But I think you know, knowledge is power and learning, and if you don't know where to start, you can talk to someone and maybe ask a couple of questions, or ask yourself questions, or write things out and start really small and start there and then hopefully, you know, you can start growing on that and expanding on Okay, well, I this is what it means to heal, this is this is my process, this is how I'm going to do this, and you know, find the tools that work

for you and or create the tools that work for you. Who knows, it's different for everybody. It's different for everybody. So however that looks like to you, whatever that feels like to you, as long as you're you're doing what you need to do to ultimately heal from it, I think that's a really a really great place to start,

is just to start thinking about it from there. Don't worry about moving on or getting over it, or if the emotions are stronger sometimes in others, if they can be really unexpected, you know it can it hits you like a wave some days, and that's okay, feel it,

sit there, right about it, think about it. I mean, if you want to ignore it for a little bit, you can, but you know, make sure you're always coming back to it and acknowledging it and addressing it, and then you can sort of like let it go and be like, Okay, I see you, I hear you, I feel you. We're gonna acknowledge that emotion and then we can let it go, and then I think that's like, those are really good ways to kind of start healing.

you understand you. And my friend told me something beautiful about grief that I don't think i'll ever forget. They said to me that grief is like a stone, and you carry it in your pocket and you'll always notice it, you'll feel it, you know it's there. But as time goes on, you get stronger, and so as you get stronger, it's not that the stone goes away. It's just that it gets lighter, and so it's lighter to carry. But it doesn't mean it's going away. You didn't move on,

you didn't have to get over it. It doesn't disappear or it doesn't get smaller, it stays the same. You just get stronger, so the stone gets lighter. And I really appreciated that idea around grief because it sat true with me that it didn't have to go away.

went through that. And you know, I kind of made the decision that I since I'm you know, talking about Tate, and I'm you know, starting this business based off of the love that we have for each other and how

I want to be there for people. He was there for me in so many ways, and how can I, you know, share that without sharing something that I went through that he was there for me for and in grieving his loss, I'm grieving the shared experiences we've had and learning how to cope cope with something without him when he was there for me through that time in my life. I had. It was a really strange circumstance under which I had my miscarriage. I had an IUD.

I had it for about three years, so I obviously, you know, I wasn't actively trying to get pregnant. I didn't want to get pregnant at all. I was you know, engaged to my husband, and you know, we were not planning on starting a family probably for you know, for a while. So I wasn't in the headspace at all to to be pregnant. And you know, I'm not really sure how it happens, because I don't I don't know

how that works. I'm not a doctor, and I I didn't understand it, and sometimes I still don't under understand it, because you know, I'm pretty sure I could be wrong on this. I probably should have looked it up before I came in here so I could say exactly. But it's a really small percentage, like a small chance of

getting pregnant on an IUD. It's like less than one percent or something like that, which is still you know, still a chance, like it can still happen, of course, but you it's some crazy things happened to someone in there. It's like that'll never happen to me. It happened to me. I got pregnant on an IUD, and I was shocked and I was sad. I didn't want to be pregnant. I wasn't ready to be pregnant. I didn't understand what it meant to be pregnant with an IUD. I didn't

know what that meant. I didn't know what my journey with this pregnancy would look like. I was so scared. I was terrified. And also it was still during COVID, so my husband was in he wasn't able to be with me. He was in London and he was you know,

kind of not allowed to travel into the US. So I I've found he was with me in the beginning of COVID, in the pandemic, but because he's British, you know, he was on an ESTA and they were getting people out on tourists visas, so his exception to fly out was so he didn't overstay his ESTA, because that's the last thing we wanted. We were, you know, planning on getting married, like we can't get marks on, you know,

all that stuff. So he left the country because he had to, and so then we were separated and we were no longer able to be together. Probably I don't think I saw him for maybe another couple of months after that. So he he wasn't with me when I found out I was pregnant, and that was really hard for both of us because all you want to do when you're going through something like that, as shocking and unexpected as it was for the both of us, is

to be there with each other. You know, I know he wanted more than anything in the world to hold my hand, like tell me it's going to be okay, Like hold me, and you know that's all I wanted to and I couldn't be with him. And Tate was with me though, you know he was. We were together, and I'm so great that I had him physically to

be there with me physically. You know, my husband was there for me in every way that he possibly could be, but I had the physical connection that that holding, that comforting, you know, that's something that you need in that space. I it was breaking both of our hearts that we didn't have that you know, couldn't do that, and I think it both gave us like comfort knowing that I had take with me for that. You know, I had

to go to my doctor's appointments alone. I you know, went in to make sure that I didn't have and what's called an ectopic pregnancy, which is when the embryo attaches itself in the fillipian tube. My pregnancy was in my uterus, so it was viable, it was technically healthy, but the circumstances in the environment on which I got which I conceived was a bit of a turbulent environment.

So you know, my doctor said, we don't really know what's going to happen here, because you know, you can see in an environment where your body is telling you you shouldn't be pregnant because of the IUD, because of the hormones the idea is putting into your body. And also if we remove it, then you know we're changing again the environment on which you conceived. So you know, it's we don't know fifty to fifty of whether or

not you're gonna you know, carry this out. So it was really just a waiting game to see if it would stick or not. And I was given a couple of markers of you know, come back at about six and a half weeks and we can do internal ultrasound and you know, check everything out and see how it's going. So you know, I'm I'm waiting another week or so. I go back in they do the internal ultrasound or able to like hear a heartbeat, and you know, at this point, I'm like, oh my gosh, like what is

happening to me? This is so crazy. I'm going through all these things. I have a photo, I have the picture you know of the ultrasound, like that's so great. It was like this big you know what I mean. And so I'm at a place in my life where okay, maybe I wasn't planning to get pregnant, and I wasn't I wasn't ultimately excited about it. At first. I was scared, not excited. I was shocked, I was confused, I was feeling fear. I wasn't feeling joy. But at the same time,

I'm going to marry this person. I'm in love with this person. I want to have a family with this person. I'm twenty was I twenty five or was I twenty four? I think I was twenty five. I'm twenty five. That's still young. But you know it's I feel somewhat ready if I was to have a child. Okay, So I'm going to start getting in the headspace now of I think I'm gonna if this pregnancy sticks around, like I'm

gonna have a child, Okay, Oh gosh. So it's like I'm coming to so many different so many terms of acceptance here where I'm just like, okay, but I can't get too excited because we don't know what's going to happen. I have to pass all of these milestones to make sure if this is going to be a healthy pregnancy or not. So I get to about roughly nine weeks, and you know, she's like, okay, well we're getting closer.

You know, she's optimistic that this could be happening. You know, usually it's about twelve to fourteen weeks when you start telling people. So I'm like, oh my god, it's getting closer, like maybe this is going to happen. And I'm starting to accept that this is going to happen. It's still really early though, so of course not too excited. I'm not at that that check mark yet. And then I start spotting, but it was it was like it wasn't bright red, it wasn't blood yet. And so then the

doctor was like, well that it's normal. Sometimes that happens, you know, there's spotting with pregnancy. It's just your body adjusting. So oh, we'll just keep an eye on it. In about a week goes by, and and then I start seeing what looks like fresh blood and that's this, you know,

that's what she told me to look out for. And that's like kind of the early signs and of what ultimately will be a miscarriage, so that starts happening, and you know, I'm I'm alone in my house, and you know, at least I have tate with me, and I call my husband and you know, I'm just devastated because I know that this is about to happen to me. And we're both crying and he's I could just tell he

was so heartbroken that he couldn't be there. I think that was really painful for him too, you know, for both of us. And I've never spoken about it either, so like to the sixth done, so I I have with my family. So this is also new for me to do this. It's like reprocessing again. I'm going through the physical reaction of having the miscarriage. And it takes some time, like you know, what's happening. While it's happening, it doesn't just like happen and then it's done like

it's It takes a long time. It can be painful. It feels like a period cramps, but like your worst period cramps you've ever had, and you know, ultimately it passes. And I have to make all these doctors, doctor's appointments. I I have to, you know, make sure everything's Okay,

make sure I'm healthy and all that. So, you know, right after dealing with with this loss, you have to click into this motive I have to do all these things, and I have to make sure I do this, and I do that, and logistics of getting to the doctor and like making sure and checking and making sure it

was clean and everything that needed to pass past. So you know, I kind of went into take care of it mode, and I just remember feeling so confused because it was really just like a rollercoaster of emotion of I didn't I didn't even know. I didn't even want this. I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't planning on having a child. I was doing to the best of my ability. You know, the IUD is one of the best forms of birth control, one of the most efficient forms of birth control, and

you know, I I was very confused. I was like, why is this happening? This is so wild. I can't believe. I can't believe this. I didn't I didn't want to miss be pregnant. And then okay, I make past a couple of checkpoints and I'm starting to feel a little like, oh gosh, it's going to happen. I'm starting to process emotions of coming to terms with this, like you do get excited. I wasn't allowing myself to get fully excited

or to like be too optimistic about it. I tried to stay as neutral as I possibly could, but it's it's difficult. You know, you can't you can't control some of these things. I mean, this is what I'm feeling. So you know, I was like, Okay, well, oh my gosh, like is this happening? Like whoa? So then there's a little bit of excitement, and then you know, some joy because like I want a family, I'm excited to have children,

and then I lose the pregnancy. You know, it was early still like when I lost it, so I wasn't luckily fully in the headspace of, oh my god, this is one hundred percent happening. So in terms of the timeline, I am really grateful that I hadn't come to terms with it yet. But I was still really confused because I was like whoa, processing this emotion of feeling like I don't even want this to maybe this is happening, and feeling some excitement and maybe some joy and then lost.

It was so strange and it was just all the things. You know, It was really just two things can be true at once. Kind of a thing where you feel these emotions that are one is honestly even with some time and some space now and some perspective relief. Wow, the timing wasn't right. You know, everything happens for a reason. I wasn't ready to be a mother, I wasn't ready to have a child. I'm absolutely devastated. I'm not a mother and I don't have a child. Well, that makes

no sense. How can you feel both of those things? I don't know. They both sit once it's on this set of my brain and once it's on this side of the brain, and they fight with each other. And I don't And it took me a really long time to understand how to deal with that. I don't know how to talk about this. How do I make this make sense? And I think in terms of you know, miscarriages, sometimes they don't make sense, not it doesn't make any sense. And I think a lot of women go through that.

I think it's something like one in three women experience miscarriage, so and some women multiple and some women who've never had one, like myself. You know, when I first got pregnant. It's like this, you have this sort of you don't know that that's a possibility, right, So it's it's like, oh, it can be really exciting. And I think a lot of women when they get pregnant for the first time feel excited and optimistic and hopeful and oh my god, I'm going to have a child right away. So the

blow of a miscarriage is so devastating. Wait a minute, what I didn't what happened? I thought I was having a try Everyone has a baby. How do people have babies? Like this is crazy? How is this happening? To be pregnant is such a complicated thing. It's so wild, the fact that we can even get pregnant, you know. And I think it really helped me feel less alone, knowing that it was something that was quite common and that a lot of women do go through it, and it

just it. But then you know something that I felt that was difficult to hear in the very beginning that being said, when I did very first lose my pregnancy, it was like, well, you know, don't worry, this happens to a lot of people. You're not alone. It was like, I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to hear. This happens all the time, like you know, I was so upset. I was like, what do you mean? So I shouldn't feel upset that this happened to me, because

it happens to a lot of people. So I'm trying. Sorry, I'm trying to articulate, and it's a very difficult thing to articulate, specifically because I think it is very intricate and it can be very difficult and complicated to speak about something like that. So because there's so many powerful, really you know, strong emotions that are happening in your

physical body and in your emotional self as well. So I was always torn with they're trying to help me by saying this, but it didn't help me to hear that. So if I'm saying that now three years later, I do have perspective and it did eventually become helpful to hear I'm not alone. One in three women have miscarriages. This happens to people. It's going to be okay. If someone's listening and they're not ready to hear that, I feel that I've been there, like, no, this sucks. It

sucks that one in three women go through it. It sucks that it's something that we have to deal with. Sometimes you need to hear that, you know. So I've been in a place and I've been in positions where I needed to feel both like I'm mad, I'm confused, why is this happening to me? Why is my body doing this? I felt a sense of failure. I felt a sense of betrayal of my own body, of my own self. I felt like and I wanted to feel those things. I didn't want to hear, Well, it happens

to one in three women. I'm like, I'm mad at myself. Like it's okay, It's okay to be mad at yourself. You don't have to get over it right away and accept that it happens to one in three women. So wherever you're at in you know your journey of dealing with these emotions and processing. You know, I've felt those things. I've been angry, I've felt confused, I felt relief, I felt pain, and none of it made any sense. I was like, what how do I how do I deal

with this? And again, you know, it's it goes back to sort of something similar and when I lost Tate, I just sort of started talking to people. I spoke to one of my best friends in the whole world, and I with the day it happened, I just sobbed to her and she held me, you know, and you know she experienced this loss as well, not shortly after me. And I think that when I knew she was going through what I had been through, and she held me and I held her and we were talking about it

with each other. I think that's when I got to a place when I was starting ready to hear this happens to one in three women, and then I wanted to learn about it more and understand the technical reasons why this happens. And you know, it's not my fault. My body didn't fail me. You know, it wasn't a viable pregnancy, it wasn't healthy, it wasn't meant to happen. I don't I'll never really know why it happened. It

could be a multitude of things. I got priden on an iud you know, that's probably number one reason why I didn't come come to fruition. So you know, I did have some things to ground me in my grief of Okay, well, this happened because of this reason. Some women don't get that answer, and they don't know why, and maybe it happens them a lot later in their pregnancies.

And there's so many different levels and variations of what it means to have a miscarriage, and so many different variables and versions of what a miscarriage looks like and what a miscarriage feels like. To those people, all I can say is my own personal experience and all the things I was feeling during that time, and know that, you know, three years later, I have so much more perspective, and I've given myself so much time to heal from that, and it no longer feels like an open, gaping wound.

It feels like a scar. It's definitely still with me. There's a mark there. It happened to me. It's more of a you know, another mark on my spirit maybe, But I have perspective from it, I have healing from it. I really feel like I gave myself a lot of time to feel everything I know I needed to feel for myself. And I think it's important for other women to hear from others that it's something that we go through. And I didn't know if I would ever publicly talk

about it. But you know, I lost Tate and I'm talking about grief and he was such a huge part of my journey and my life and he helped me deal with grief and he's been a huge part of you know, my mental health and being there for me. And I think there's something there with you know, having that can to an animal and mental health and what

they can do for our mental health. I mean, there's therapy dogs for a reason and horse therapy, and there's a reason why people connect to animals so strongly, and there's something there and there's something that's healing and being around them, you know, and he was such a huge part of that healing, and in losing him, it did it did hurt me in that area that previous injury in my spirit that I had from the miscarriage. It was someone that was with me so closely and so

deeply for something so difficult is no longer here. I can no longer hold him, and you know, feel comforted from the wave of emotions that maybe come back from having this, having the miscarriage, So you know, it's it's all connected, and you know, sometimes it can be painful and it can be hurtful and even though it's a it is a scar on me now and it's what I feel healed and I feel optimistic and I've I've grown a lot from it, and you know, do you feel like I've kind of come out on the other

side of going through that. It's still a tender spot, you know what I mean. It's like if it's poked, it kind of hurts. It's like, oh, that was that's from that, you know, you know, I can only I have never I've never broken a bone, crazy enough as it is, so I can imagine it's maybe similar to if you break a bone in your body, it's still hurts maybe later in life, and you feel aches and

pains and all of these things. So it's it's an injury that I've feel like my spirit's endured and it's still there, but I've really worked through it and worked through healing, and I think there's a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of if you're going through through that. It takes time, and who knows. Maybe now I maybe I think I'm heeled, and I'm maybe fully not. I don't know. I feel confident and comfortable enough to speak about it, so maybe that's a layer

and a step towards, like towards healing. Maybe we're never fully done healing and growing from things. I mean, we're never done growing. We grow forever, never and never until the day we die. So it might evolve and it might change going forward, and you know, it might continue and shift, and I can maybe look back on where I'm at today and think I still had some work to do and I wasn't aware of it yet. So you know, we'll kind of we'll see where it goes. But you know, kind of where I'm at now is

this is the headspace that I'm in. I feel comfortable and you know, confident enough to sort of talk about it and talk about you know, what happened and share it and hope that others can maybe connect with it and feel not alone. I know it's it can feel isolating, especially if there's no one in your life that's been through it and you don't feel like you have somebody

to connect to. So hopefully it just helps. And I feel like that's kind of why I wanted to share that was just because you know, the many layers of grief and in my loss, I've felt lost before, and I lost someone that went through me, through that loss with me, So I kind of just wanted to touch on both of those things just because I know they can be It's something that a lot of people go through, losing a pet, losing a loved one, and then obviously,

you know, losing a pregnancy and going through a miscarriage.

I mean, I was saying to you that I've had multiple friends in the last two to three years who've all experienced a miscarriage, and I to them and I'll hear from them, and I see so much just stress, overwhelmed pressure, self degradation, like you know, just negative self talk like there's it's it's it's one of the hardest things to go through. Even if everyone goes through as you say, not everyone, but so many people go through it,

it doesn't make it any easier. And often actually, like you said, it makes you so lonely that you don't want to talk to anyone about it, and it's it's not comforting to know other people have gone through it. And I wonder, in that lonely phase, like what was it that did help you? And even when your friend went through it, what allowed you to be there for each other in a way that was comforting and helpful rather than felt uncomfortable and unhealthy.

to say either. I have no idea on how to react to some things, still having experienced my own version of grief. How do you be there for somebody? It's a difficult thing. I mean, I didn't know how I needed well, I didn't know what I needed from people. I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want anyone to know because I didn't want people to talk to me about it or say things to me, because I just wasn't ready to hear it yet. And the way that I think I

told people that were really really close to me. Really my husband obviously knew because it happened to him too, and my two best friends knew. And the way that I feel like they were there for me because they didn't know what to say. They didn't say anything. They were there for me physically. They held me, they let me cry. I just sat there and I cried and said nothing and they just held my hand and were like just sat there with me and like let me cry.

They didn't ask me questions. They didn't ask me how I felt. They didn't ask they didn't say anything to me, like, they didn't say everything happens for a reason, don't worry, like you'll feel one day, da da da. They didn't go into that because they know me so well, they probably knew that I didn't want to hear that yet. They just were there and they listened when I was

ready to talk. And then because I wasn't ready. They just let me emote and they just let me cry and they cried, and I could tell because I was hurt. They were hurt. You know. When I finally got to my husband and we were together, he just held me.

We both cried and he just held me, and you know, I held him too, because I think that's another thing, is another layer on top of it is even though it physically happened to me and emotionally it was something that I experienced, it was it was an individual experience to myself. Emotionally, it's something that it's a loss that happened to him as well. He also thought potentially he would be having a child, So we were both grieving something.

We were both grieving the loss of this. We were both feeling this weird sense of relief at the same time and then immediately guilty because we felt relief, and then immediately anger because we felt guilt. And you know what I mean, It's just it's relentless, these emotions. When it's fresh, you know, you feel literally every single one that's on the rainbow. Of all the colors we felt,

we felt all of them. And I think when it was the very beginning I think for me, it was just holding the people holding me, you know, being in just being in the space with me. They didn't have to say anything if they didn't know what to say, you know, and when we did sort of start talking about it, we first started saying, this sucks. I can't believe this is happening.

And you know, checking in, you know, my friends that knew checked in with me, how are you feeling today? You know, And then if I didn't want to talk about they were like, okay, let me know when you are ready, you know, so just you know, they were checking in, you know, making sure. And then you know, my best friend, she who she experienced us as well. She continues to check in with me. You know, this is three years later and we still talk about it. Oh my gosh, Like, can you believe it? You would

have a three year old. I'm like, I know, And it's just we we get to have these moments together of we would both have a three year old right now. That's and we think about that and we deal with that and we grieve them. We grieve the loss of that potential and that direction and life, you know, that

thread that didn't happen in this path. So female friendships are incredible and they're beautiful, and I think it's really important for women to have women in their life that they can they can go to and they can talk to you about these things because we can relate to each other in other ways that I think, you know, I couldn't get from my husband, and being able to

go to her was so special and really helpful. So I just I think also have patience with yourself, and if you know someone who's going through that, have patience

with them because it's a rollercoaster. And you know, she was my friend, she was going through this too, and I was feeling emotions and I was feeling heartbroken because I know because she was heartbroken, so I was feeling emotions as well, and I just have to be patient because it's happening to her so at her pace, at her time, when she's ready, when she wants to hear, when she wants to talk about it, we can. And we both kind of just we both shared that understanding with each other.

we want to it for them. And so if I'm speaking to a friend who is like, oh, you know, my friend's going through this, and my partner's going through this, and they're spiraling, and we're so uncomfortable with their discomfort that we want to fix it to relieve our own discomfort, not realizing that that person may need to feel and experience all of it and to let it all out

in their own way. And I love what you just said of I just wasn't ready for someone to be there for me yet, And I think that's a great note for all of us to ask ourselves, like am I ready for someone to be there for me yet? And if I'm trying to help someone, are they truly ready for me to be there for them? And one of the things that I've seen and you mentioned as well when we were talking, this idea about how there's so much pressure also on the couple. So there's you're

both individually dealing with loss and grief. There's like a dynamic that you go through with each other because you're both at different spaces of healing, You're both at different timelines, the waves come differently. It's affected both of you, but then you're both trying to be there for each other. Like it's quite a unique relations it's quite a unique situation. Walk us through how you navigated that overwhelming pressure and feeling together as well, and what did it take to reconnect?

And I mean, I don't even think it's finding normalcy. It's like evolving. But what does that look like?

to me. And I think what was really helpful for us was, you know, I think he had a really great understanding and he's he was so wonderful during those times for me. He I think for him, he understood, Okay, this is something that he's like, Okay, I'm I'm feeling. I also can't speak for him obviously, because this these this this is his. These are his feelings and his journey as well. So I'm as I'm saying this, it's more just like collectively what you know, we both went through.

It was the shared experience that I'm touching on and things that he did say and express to me. So you know, I felt that he had a really great understanding of, you know, the equal amount of heartbreak of loss. You know, he was feeling that too, and we got we had a shared experience in that, and I think he also a really great understanding of this is physically happening to her as well as it is emotionally happening.

To her, he knew it would take me longer to gain perspective, to start my healing process, to you know, be able to adjust or you know, process my emotions, just because I think, you know, he said to me, you know, whatever I feel like i'm feeling, I know you're feeling a tenfolds. I know what you are going through is a physical reaction in your body of change, and then the change of becoming pregnant, the change of losing that pregnancy, the emotional change from all of those things.

So for us, it was really helpful that he was super understanding, and you know, he's really great at navigating emotion as well. And I think it was helpful for me when he talked about it with me, when he would say things like today is the day it happened, and he's reminding me and he's the one talking about it.

It makes me feel less alone that he still remembers it, that he still carries it with him, because sometimes, you know, just because it's we've had some time and we've had some distance, I know I carry this with me forever.

You know, I know I will, because this happened to me in more ways than one, and I worry sometimes you know or I did that, Well, maybe he won't feel that way, like maybe he'll move on fast, or maybe he'll forget about it, maybe all these things and and then you feel sad and you know, different emotions around that, and like, I know that that can be really complicated in a dynamic of loss of their moving on. Oh they're forgetting about this, they're not talking about this anymore.

So for me, what was really helpful is because I know that he went through this too. I love that he checks in with me. I love that he talks about it with me. I love that he also says things like can you believe we would maybe have had a three year old? Oh? My god, do you think about that too? It made me feel so seen, like so heard, and that he sees me all the time. You know, he sees when people We've been married for almost a year now, so he sees when people make

comments like, oh, when you guys gonna have kids? Or are you thinking about having kids? And people ask you know, it's a harmless question, and I understand why people ask it, and it's it's I'm not angry that people ask that question. I think it's part of society. You know, people want to talk about it. You know, people are excited about having starting families. If we want to start a family, which we do, and we've spoken with our friends that we would want to have a family one day. So

I understand why they're asking us those questions. But not everybody knows that I went through this, and at that time, I mean, now maybe everybody everybody will know I went through this way. I wasn't ready for everybody to know that I was going through this, and I had to deal with those questions internally, and it was painful to

hear those questions. You know, people would make comments because a lot of my friends had babies during COVID, and everyone was like, oh, you know, everyone had all these babies, you know, during COVID, and everyone was getting pregnant and I did and I was pregnant and I didn't have a baby. So I would hear comments like that. I would hear things like that. Oh. Also people assume that maybe I have had a kid and they just don't

know yet. Oh did you have a kid? Were you one of those girls during COVID that had a kid. And I'm like, god, I know what you mean. When you're saying that, but you have no idea. No, I'm not.

I guess I'm not. So he would sort of see me and like see that I was dealing with that internally and trying to process socializing and you know, navigating these comments because it's nobody's fault that they're asking it, you know, it's it's just normal, it's just life, right, So I have to I do have to grow from this. I have to be able to handle this. I have to be able to talk about this again. I do have to be able to be okay. And I wasn't

always okay. And I think he saw that I wasn't always okay, and I could tell that he was hurt when I was hurt. I could tell that he he was feeling what I was feeling, you know. And I also shared it with him too, because people can't read your mind. You know. This is my partner, this is my life partner. This is the person that I decided that I want to spend life with and do life with.

So I have to do life with them, right, So I have to make a point to share Today I'm feeling extra bad because it's the week of my miscarriage. It's the anniversary week. I'm not going to feel good this week. You know, I say that, I expressed that he cannot read my mind. He has no idea what I'm feeling unless I'm saying it. So, you know, I it's a two way street that I share with him and that he sees me and he understands me. So and he does. He's really great at understanding how I emote.

You know, my tells my you know, physical things that maybe I do, or he's like, she's nervous, she's up that I could tell she's holding back tears right now. He helps remove me from the said situation, you know, So learning each other and sharing with each other, and he knows those things and he's been able to learn those things because I've shared them with him and I've shown him and told him, and vice versa. He's shared with me and told me and shown me how I

can care and love and be there for him. So I think just for a couple in this scenario, however, you're dealing with the loss of a pregnancy or a child, because I know people can see in many different ways and there's a lot of stress in starting a family on multiple different types of relationships and partners and spouses and how you're going about it and how you're dealing with and what you're going through and you know what you're doing with each other and how you're your journey

with with that is is unique to you, to your both of your situations, and the way that you guys communicate with each other is important. And learning each other and asking for something is there's no there's nothing wrong with asking for something and then they're able to adjust and do that for you. So I feel like that's something that I've learned as well, is being open and

making sure I'm sharing. And you know, he's really great at just innately because we've known each other and we're we're we love each other's he's good at, you know, knowing and figuring out those little things that I do for himself and just seeing me. But also I've shared a lot with him, and he listens and he adapts and he changes for those things for me and does those things for me. So I think that communication is probably the number one most important thing and also the

most difficult thing. I know. Communicating is so difficult. How do you be vulnerable? How do you share these things? Am I ready to talk about this. I want to say this, and you know, I don't know. I think, just say it and ask for it and communicate it, because again, you know, they may have no idea that that's even going on in your head and they have something completely different going on in their head.

it in order to hopefully help people who are listening.

I'm still not ready for a child and and I'm not ready to think about it, and I'm not ready to start having a family, and I don't know when that is. And you know a lot of people who've had children are like, you'll never know. The timing's never right all this stuff and everyone's journey is different, and that I have no plan. I have no timeline of when I'm going to start a family, when I'm going to do that, how I'm going to do it? I don't know and I also have no idea what I'm

about to confront when I start trying again. You know, is it going to be really easy? Am I going? Is it going to be fine? Did this scenario happen to me simply because of the IUD? Or well I experience this again because you know, a pregnancy is a new organism in your body. It's like a technically I don't know it's I could only I think of it maybe as almost like a bacteria. That's like it's introducing

like a new thing inside of your body. And a miscarriage is a rejection of that, your body being like that shouldn't be here, what is this? This is new? And sometimes it takes time to a job. Your body has to be like, oh, that's what that is. So maybe it takes a couple of tries, and you know that's why your body is doing that. I don't know why my body did that. Probably the most likely, if doctors are listening, they'll probably be like, oh, it's the IUD.

That's why I was like, Okay, okay, fine, that's why. But I guess I'll sort of I maybe I'll be able to speak on that more when I'm in the headspace of actively trying or if and when I do have a child, like to be able to touch on that again. But I think I'm nervous, you know, I do have fears about getting to that stage in my life, and I'm worried about what I'm going to start feeling when I am pregnant again. I want to enjoy the process. I want to be you know, excited, I want to

feel all of those things. But unfortunately, because of what I've I went through, I know that in the beginning I won't. I'll feel fear. I'm going to be afraid. I know I'm going to be scared. I know I'm going to have like anxiety about it until who knows when, maybe the entire pregnancy. I don't know, But I know I've been through this before. I I know I can handle this. I'm stronger because of this. If it happens

to me again, I'm going to be okay. You know, look at how far I've come, look at what I how I handled this, like what we went through like. I have confidence in that at least, But I also I have no idea what that is going to look like for me until I start doing that, or until

it happens. So you know, I would I would say for me, how I can rationalize it is I'm stronger because of this I've handled I've been through this this thing, and I've I've dealt with something that was really difficult for me personally to go through and I came out the other side. Whether or not I'm fully done yet, we don't know. We'll we'll figure it out when we get there. But right now, all I can say is I feel confident that I'm I know I'm gonna be okay.

No matter what, I'm going to be okay. I can get through anything. I can do this. Like I have a great support in my husband and my family and my friends. They were all there for me. They showed their love and support. I was there for me. I was there for myself. I showed up, you know. So I know I can show up for myself. I know I can be there. I know I can pick myself back up again and start walking and make it, you know,

make those steps towards healing again. So we're resilient as people, as humans, and having faith in our resilience and in our strength and in our ability to find healing and find growth. I think we forget and we doubt ourselves sometimes that we can do that, we can do, we can get through that.

you almost don't give yourself that space. So thank you so much for giving everyone space by even having that answer. It's really beautiful and powerful to hear.

amazing products, amazing services, amazing partnerships for their pets and their dogs and everything else.

They've changed my life in so many ways. And even Salem now has impack in my life and so many different ways than Tate did. And I'm so excited about the journey and the life that I'm going to live with him and the things he's about to teach me and show me. And I don't think I would even be able to know how to do that and build something with intention and purpose if I hadn't had my career before. You know, I started modeling when I was fourteen.

I don't have a traditional education in that sense, but I've learned so much from my job and from working at a young age and traveling the world and having so many experiences. I feel like I learned by doing, and you know, by being able to see how things work, and you know, people producing fashion collections and watching them make the clothes on me to walking in the fashion show and seeing how things are done is really interesting.

And being a part of a photo shoot and all the different areas and everyone has a different job and seeing how it all comes together and how everybody works and all the puzzle pieces kind of like you know, as I'm sure you know, it's just like it's interesting and there's a lot of different layers to what goes into something like a photo shoot or you know, a campaign or a video or a movie or you know, a fashion show. And it was really fun and exciting for me to witness and see those things and do

those things. And you know, I think modeling has been it is a lot about It is about physically what I look like. One hundred percent, like I'm a model because of how I look. I know that. So it's

an interesting thing to go from. You know, I'm here because of how I look, but also I feel like, after a certain extent, I'm still here because of who I am, and I'm still hearing people continue hopefully to work with me because we have fun together and we build relationships and they get to know me, and it becomes more than just this you know, surface transaction of she looks a certain way, she fits the bill physically of what we're looking for, so we're going to book her.

I think after fourteen years, you know, you start knowing people and establishing relationships and becoming friends with people in the industry, and then people want to work with you because they like you, they like hanging out with you. It's like a lot of industries, you know what I mean. The more you are in it, the more you do it, the more friends you make, the more connections you feel like you have with people, and the less it becomes about how you look, and it becomes a lot about

who you are actually. Like the my interpretation of my career in modeling, I feel like it's been with people that I enjoy working with, and I get to work with them again and again and again, and I love that. I love that I now know so many people in the industry. And every time I get a call sheet, not every time, but I get these call sheets and I see who's going to be on set and I'm like, oh my god, I haven't seen this person and you know, however many years, and I'm so excited to work with

them again and do that. So to me, it's maybe it starts off that way, and modeling is about the way that I look and how I physically am, But then I think it becomes a lot deeper than that. So, you know, people establishing those connections with me as like taught me how to to grow and you know, and change and just they've taught me so much about life and different different backgrounds and different people and different things.

So you know, I learned so much from it and I've grown so much from it, and you know, wanting to start my own business. I feel like I'm able to do that because of everything that I've done in my modeling career and I really just I see them so much a part of each other, and I want to be in the pet space and have this this business because it's something that I also love to do, Like I love my job, I love modeling, and I really believe in pursuing things that you love to do.

And you know, maybe I won't be a model forever. I have no idea because it's it's not a very consistent lifestyle. As much as I love it, I'm you never know. I you know, I just got a text message today that I'm going to Paris on Thursday. So you know, maybe if when I do start trying to have a family, and if I have a family and my family is growing and growing and growing, or you know, I have all these hopes and dreams, have a big family, it'll be more difficult to do my modeling career to

the extent that I'm doing it now. And I also love dogs, and I love my dog, and I love, you know, animals, and I love that people love their animals. And I wanted to create something that I wish existed with my life and my journey and path with Tate.

And I'm creating something that I really want and need with Salem, my my new dog now that I rescued, and because we're going through so many different things and I'm so excited to, you know, have be able to build on the experience I've had from modeling and apply it to what I'm doing now with Titan Taylor and build something with purpose, build something with you know, meaning something that I'm passionate about doing, something that I love.

It's it's my lifestyle. It's you know, I'm that crazy dog lady that every time I see a dog on the street, I'm like, hello, how are you nice to meet you? What's your name? I just I love dogs and I love animals in general too, So I really think that dogs are connectors. And I've met a lot of people and had so many amazing interesting conversations because of our dogs. If you're out walking your dog and people stop you, Oh my god, what kind of dog

is that? Oh my god, you're so beautiful? Is you know, are they a boy or are they a girl? What's their name? And and the next thing you know, you're having a full blown conversation with a complete and total stranger. But I feel like I'm in a safe space. You know. It's it's really interesting. And I as a shy I started out really shy and kind of an introverted person. Having Tate, everybody loved him. People were like, oh my god, that's the cutest dog I've ever seen. And I had

to open up. I had to have conversations with people, and he helped me do that, and he helped me connect with people. And you know, someone that works with me on Tate and Taylor. I met through Tate in my building, you know, because we had like a doggy play date group chat in the building and she invited us and you know, our dogs were playing and we connected and now she's helping me, you know, build Bill

Tate and Taylor. So I love dogs. I think that there's there are just amazing and and they're connectors, and it's something that I love so much and find so much joy in. And I hope that people, you know, receive that and see that and are excited about it, because you know, I'm really passionate about how I take care of my dog and the love I want to give him. I want to give give him the best

life possible. Because they're not with us forever is you know, I know very well, and I want to cherish every single second I possibly can with them. And I know so many pet pet people and people who have pets want that as well. And you know, there's definitely a lack of community. I think in the pet industry there is community, but there's not like a place. I feel like there wasn't a place to go for information to

connect to other people. And I really hope to build that and grotate and tailor into something where people feel like this is happening to me and I don't know what to do. Maybe we can help you figure that out. So that's sort of the intention in doing what we're doing.

You know, we have the online store, We're like curating products, We're looking for amazing founders and brands and people who are doing innovative things in the pet space with whether that's treats that are with really great quality, we have

women owned businesses. I love the idea of supporting women and you know, young cool entrepreneurs or is doing really interesting things and maybe helping do that together and giving them a space and a platform to showcase and talk about their product and why it's great and and why it's different, and you know, help them sort of just

like share what they're doing with the world. Because there's so many passionate, you know entrepreneurs out there who are starting these companies in the pet space and they're so dedicated and they have just as much passion and love as I do for their dogs, and and they've gone through something it's completely different than maybe I've gone through

with Tate, you know. So it's really interesting people to speak with businesses and speak with you know, founders about why they started their company, what their goal, and what their mission and their drive is, why they're doing what they're doing, you know, challenges they've faced as women in the industry, as you know, just an entrepreneur, being an entrepreneur in general, there's there's so many things that you know we would we want to touch on in in

that space that I think there's just I felt it wasn't there when I was going through that with Tait, you know, and I really want to create that for people and bring people together and have it be fun and you know, really easy and exciting, you know, to care and like find cool products and great and things at work that you know we like for our pets.

and as well as rescue. You know, we work with rescue organizations and my Salem, my dog, Salem, is a rescue and and that's an experience that he's been teaching me about and something that I want. I want to

make a change and make an impact in. I think for me with Titan Taylor, the most important thing about this business is using it to make make an impact and do good things with it, and and use it to help people and help others and help dogs, you know, help people who have dogs or you know, hopefully animals pets in general. We'll get there one day. Well, if you have an iguana, great, maybe we will be able to help you with that. I don't know, who knows

where it's going to go. That's what's so exciting. It's so new and it's so fresh, and right now we're dogs right now. So I'm obviously talking about dogs because that's what we are doing currently. I do have the hope and the optimism and the intention to want to do as much as I possibly can. But you know, I'm going to focus on one thing and then we can start growing from there and building on top of that.

So in the pet space, there's just so much that I want to do and so much I want to accomplish, and I want to be able to build something that helps most importantly and that does give back, and that does have a drive and does have a cause, because there is a drive and there is a cause, and there is a reason behind everything that I'm doing, and

its Tait. It's dedicated to him. It's dedicated to everything he taught me, the love I know he has for me, the love I have for him, and it's for everyone who's ever felt that way about a dog or a pet in their life. It's a dedication to that. It's a dedication to that feeling and knowing you want to

take care of something, you love something so deeply. So do we We know that feeling, We understand that, and we want to make something and build something with you that is impactful and meaningful and helpful and connective and hopefully we can you know, build a great community and have incredible resources for people. So you know, we're this is just the beginning of our of our journey with it, and I'm really really excited about it.

than one sentence. I've already failed, you know, saying good night and you know, having time, like you know, our connection with him.

to it with them and hold them through it. I would love you to use this episode as a way of having some of those uncomfortable, difficult conversations. And of course check out Tate and Taylor. Can't wait for you to give your dogs all the love that they deserve. And I want to say a big thank you again to Taylor for her presence, love and energies.