Orlando Bloom: 3 Reasons Why You Need to Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes & Shift Your Perspective on Fear

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Today's guest and on Purpose is the one and only Orlando Bloom, well known for starring in some of the biggest movies of all time, whether it's The Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Caribbean and so many more. And Orlando will next be seen starring in Peacock's limited adventure DOCU series To the Edge, which Orlando also produced, and premiers on April eighteenth. This is something I've already had a snapshot off, already a sneak peek. I can't

wait for you to see it. I think it's going to challenge you internally and externally, and I think it's going to help you get out of your comfort zone this year, So make sure you don't miss To the Edge. Welcome to On Purpose, Orlando Bloom. Orlando, thank you for doing this.

with you. And I tried to get to one of your your your speaking engagements, which I wasn't able to. But it's like, I just thought, this is an opportunity to like have a heart centric conversation, and I love the messaging you're putting out. And actually, you know, Edge is a show that came up. It was the birth child, the brainchild of a period of time that I think was really challenging in the world for everyone, you know, through COVID, where I think fear was sort of around

all of us. We were all like, wait, well, you know what, what do we what are we living through? This is so unique? And I was it was sort of palpable in my environment, and I'm not I'm not comfortable with fear. I'm like, I'm always like I run into it, like I like want to transform it. I want to like I want to you know, it's people say,

what are you afraid of? Right, you know, sharks, I'm like, I'm afraid of fear, you know, because it's like I want to confront anything in my life that feels challenging on those levels. So actually, initially I would love to have spoken to you on my show. I had this idea where I would speak to people, you know, and also people like in blue zones and spaces in the world where people like have just got it figured, they've got it dial whether it's through dire lifestyle choices and

all of the things that you speak about. It's like, I was like, I want to go and explore the people in the world that do that. And I've had this amazing opportunity with UNISEF for many years twenty years now almost, and so I've sort of been in communities where I've seen how an impact, what a great impact, positivity can have, right, which I think is the message of UNSEF. Also the funding that they support for communities.

So I was like, I want to go and talk to people, but we didn't really get we got no hits. Nobody was really interested in me doing that. And I think there's also a Blue Zone show that is apparently epic as well, so they but how about we just throw you out of a plane and I'll see if you can swim to the bottom of the ocean. And when we throw you up a mountain, I was like, I could do that.

banged up and bruised. I think I had I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was like maybe nine to ten, so I had some extra schooling in that space and that really helped me because I had I had a kind of unusually high IQ, but I just was really

challenged that focus and concentration. I think I was probably undiagnosed early on with like probably ADHD, which I've subsequently kind of come to realize that was definitely something that I've I've been navigating and now I've kind of found my way through to the sort of magic of what that can be for me.

stage fright as a kid. I was actually my mother enrolled me into a ballet class as a kid, so until like I think from probably a todd tiny toddler until I was maybe four or five, and I think at around four, we did this performance in Canterbury at the Marlow Theater, which is the biggest theater in town, pretty big theater actually, and we did a little ballet show which was just me as there was probably a

whole lot going on. And I'm four, so I don't entirely remember, but I do know that I was dressed in a monkey see. I remember having a really hot itchy monkey see on and having an itch on my bottom and I was a little embarrassed, so I turned around to scratch my bottom so nobody would see me. But the whole audience just ripped because kind of cute, right, So I think my first fear was, like, I think it like being on stage. So I kind of, you know, I did. I did all the National Youth Theater stuff

in London. I did youth theater. Everything I could do at school was my sort of start, and I was just constantly every time I did it. Like I used to remember walking on stage and I'd be like, my mom used to do this, you can you know. My mom had this one thing and she shake her fist. Says a lot about my life, but she'd shake her fist and say you can do it, you know. And I so I had this thing and I'd sort of go, and then I I was quite you know, I was.

I was confirmed in the Cathedral, Canterbury by the Archbiitgeal of canterabury because it was like where I'm from and stuff, which kind of a big deal. Religious practice was always kind of a part of my life, so I'd always sort of say a prayer as well and think and then kind of go out and do it. And I'd like and it was like never more focused than when I was on stage. And that was a great feeling because otherwise I think I was struggling in school to

articulate my thoughts, follow or continue my thought thread. So yeah, I think fear for me was that, which is ironic because of course now I'm you know, then I went on to being an actor, but also I have a you know, I think at sixteen, I moved to London, which was quite young, and I was on my own to do my A levels. And it was when I

was sixteen that I met a Buddhist practice, so early. Yeah, so I was very young to meet a Buddhist practice, and it was a philosophy and it is a religious practice, but it's way more of a sort of philosophy and almost like a guide to life, if you like.

didn't find the church or find a community. And it was when I was studying for my A levels I realized that I needed extra art for my sculpture exam, which I hadn't thought thought through. I'd given up art quite a young age. I just didn't have a teacher that I didn't just it was unfortunate. So I met through my best friend. I met an artist. He introduced me and I did extra classes and i'd just go

back to Kent. He was actually from Ken So I go down on the weekends and he set me up in a room and he'd say with an easel and he say, here, just do this. And I had a humor in the other room and he'd be going numbying and nummy on aigo and I'd be like just carrying. And one day I walked down so weeding. He goes, I'm just I'm just chanting that you're going to be really successful in your exams and you have a really successful life. I was like, cool, well will it help?

He goes, yeah. I was like great, So I just got down on my knees. I was like numb yawning. And and so David, who is who I've known since I like, yes, maybe seventeen, sixteen or seventeen, but he was he is he shakabuuka me, which is what we call him my practice where I swear somebody introduces you to the practice. So he is, and he was wonderful because he he's sort of At sixteen, I was living in London and I was a real terrorway when I was like a club kid, I was like having a

really good time. Everything was like you know, I mean I was, I wasn't. I don't want to mischaracterize myself because in some ways I always knew what I wanted to. I kind of had a sort of self discipline regulator almost. I didn't go too far, but I always pushed the boundaries of what was I could do, and I was having a really good time, and I was like and I said, well, you know, he explained it in a

very sort of simple way to me. But it was like I was like, well, can I chant for these things that I kind of you know, it could have been anything? And he was like, yeah, sure. And sometimes it was like, well, I want to have a really good night in this, that and the other, and he was like, see what happens, and and I would and sometimes I'd wake up with a really sore head and

I'd be like, oh, okay. So words like integraty, integrity with them, courage, compassion, things that were like were started to come filter at a young age into my into my thinking through also the writings of Dasaku Okada is my mentor, and so it was like it was just it was this perfect moment for me because I think I always wanted a roadmap. I think there's an art to living, and for me, this philosophy is for me. It's it's it's a it's a way for me to

understand the art of living. And I think it's really like the law of cause and effect, and I think all religions kind of mix and match and meet. The central core of all practices I think is one of you know, good good will. I believe, right, but there was almost like science like cause and effect. What goes up must come down. It just sort of it worked for me as a as an idea, and so yeah,

I became, but it took me four years. I shack a book and my sister, my best friend and it was like and they and one day my best friend is, well, I'm going to go and get Gohons and Gohans and is this scroll that we we chant to? And I was like, wait, you what so I'm getting Gohonso. I was like uh. And he'd been chanting for like maybe I don't know, six eight months, and I was like uh. I was like, okay, I'll join you. I'll I was like, I've been doing this for four years and I hadn't

or you know, years and I hadn't. So yeah, I became a member of the Sui, which is the organization. And that was you know, when I was nine a bit later because I'd started chanting, but I just used to just I chanted, and it was like it kept me in rhythm and it and it was and that's really for me. It kept me in a flow. It's

like the rhythm of life. And in a way. When I was doing my my sculpture exam, I remember I was painting like a whale bone and a lemon or a pineapple like it was it with a whale bone and like some kind of piece of fruit, and I was like, I'd look at it. I'd painting and it was a fifteen hour still life oil painting exam had a still life drawing exam as well as the sculpture. I'd go to the toilet be like I come back and we like and finish the painting, and I think like, yeah,

I got the highest grade. And then they called and said we'd like to keep this work as the highest

grade for the country. Kind of thing is like like this is the bench and I was like I hadn't been doing art and I so I really tested it and it was you know, I think I think the power as you you know, you know, when you set an intention and at such a young age, you know, for young people, for young people today, I think having something like something that you can trust and I think, you know, I really admire I think it's hard to have faith.

this practice from Japan around the world. It was you know, it was in the sixties, I think he is when he left Japan and traveled first to Hawaii and the founding members of this practice and many of whom are wonderful Japanese women who have been a bit a living around the world, and he brought this practice two one hundred and ninety three countries I think now his mentor Jose Toder and before that, matcha guki, Jose Toda's mental matcha guki in the sixties in Japan brought this practice

forward and Isakaa Kaida really made it accessible. He wrote extensively. He he's written a book about his book about his life is written from another perspective. It's like it's him, but it's written as another person. It's at set the person. Well if it's not the same. But if it's it's him, but it's not, it's he's got a pseudo name for who it is.

And the sound is now your nga cure you heard ye cure as the title of the Lotus Sutra, and as you may or may not know, but yeah, you know, Shakamuni Buddha, the Buddha, said Arthur the he wrote sutras teachings, and in the low past eight years of his life, it was the Lotus Sutra before he passed that he sort of proclaimed as the teaching that would lead all living beings to enlightenment. In this lifetime, and so that's why we chant nam Engikyl being also the title of

the Lotus Sutra. And then I recite two chapters from the Expedient Means of the Lifespan chapter from the Lotus Sutra, which is part of this practice, which is beautifully Japanese because it traveled from India through the Silk paths and landed in Japan. And it was Nission Daishonen who was a in the in twelve seventy twelve seventy around then, so you call that the thirteenth century. He propagated the teaching and he brought this teaching to the world at

that time. So he he enshrined in sumiyink the Gohonzen, which is as I sort of said, that scroll that I chant to, he inscribed it with sumiy inc and he gave because he recognized that sort of humans needed something, a mandela, something to look at. And really it's like it's like polishing my mirror. So I excuse my adid brain, but it's like polishing my mirror. So I think about when I chant, I think about in India, it was like a bronze mirror and you polish it and then

you see your reflection. Right, So the more I chant, the more I see my reflection and I see the things or like it's like a tea leaf, a glass of tea and I'm just like stirring away and it

comes to the surface and you're do chanting. And I think as you get older and I have, you know, two beautiful children, and you realize that, like it's sort of I think death is a big part of life, and it's something that we some people can be very uncomfortable with or challenged by, and we're mystically, you know, here for such a short period of time relative to everything, and this practice is like kind of constantly preparing you.

And it's sort of so the obstacles that you see in life because essentially, you know what the way that I've learned through my practices that we're born, we grow old, we'll get sick, and we'll die and so will everyone

around us, and hopefully nobody we love too soon. But the truth is you will lose and there is and I think that when you can see the obstacles in your life, and it may be just waking up in the morning and getting a bill that you can't afford to pay, or you know, for somebody, or when you take the obstacles in your life as the opportunities for your growth, when you reframe it as oh wow, because the truth is, at least my truth through my practice,

is that we're never not going to have opportunity obstacles, right, And it's just how we see those obstacles and whether they become our benefit. So it's like painting a canvas, right, like when I broke my back, or when I had you know, near death experiences or you know, experiences I say about a few kind of interesting things in my life, or heartbreak or heart reveal or you know, something that happened in school or things like those are the deep

colors in your canvas. Otherwise everythings are sort of like plain nice, you know, and you want those rich textures, right, or at least I do. So I find I found that that, you know, the practice has given me the sort of the pathway and and by the way, I am like I intentionally sabotage myself, you know what I mean. I mean, I literally I'm like, I'm like I'm not chanting.

I have chanted because I'm like I get in my own way, you know, I'm far from like I'm like literally, you know, and I'll get picked up on it by by friends I keep. I have a very you know, I have David and my best friend Mark and Chris and Chris who's in the show actually give I called Gibbo. We all practice and so we kind of keep each

other kind of accountable a little bit as well. But as you get older, you know, I think you're you know, you've probably experienced in in your own way, but it becomes so much harder, you know, just to keep that kind of that faith in everything because because but it's been for me that it's been I think I was

such a young age to get it. Yeah, you know, I know people who are born into it because you know their parents, you know, were certain and that's like this, you know, fortune baby I call and that's so blessed, you know, such a blessing. But but the Eight Wins is something that Nission has shown and wrote this book. I didn't intend this to be about. It's beautiful, just

like riffing beautiful, like he wrote. He wrote, he wrote the Ghost Show and it's like letters to his disciples, and it's crazy because they're like they're written in twelve

twenty twelve seventy something, then the thirteenth century. But they're so weirdly current, Like it's a bit because it's like there's a samurai, Sho Shingo king Yo, who I kind of like see myself as like maybe I was, you know, like I have this like nice idea of who he was, but like he had he had shared the practice with his master, and his master was like giving them all these lands, and then all these other samurai were jealous, and so they're like they tore his character down and

he was banished, and then he managed to kind of come back because of his practice and communicate to his lord and it kind of worked. But it's like we know that story. It happens in every office in every city, or at least you know, we've heard it time and time again. So they're so sort of current and relative but absolutely white that the eight wins is a really

great is one that I grew up. A wise man is not swayed by the eight wins of praise, censure on a disgrace, pleasure, suffering, prosperity the client, and that is really powerful, you know, And that was one that just like for me, it was like you know, just I don't think i've I think I've been swayed many and many a time.

challenging for me. It was like and I don't think I handled I don't think I didn't have any kind of major meltdowns, but like I was really upset about

how my character felt like it was being dragged. Actually it's why I started on Instagram account, which I did some I started very late in the game, but I only did it because actually my partner Katie had said it's a really good way to gather the reins and create a narrative, and like, now I know it's like, I don't know how many people even really use there's so many different new app things, media platforms, you know.

But in a way it kind of was able. It sort of helped me to kind of create my own narrative at least and to put messaging out that I felt was, you know, reflected my whole my ideas and views, you know, which obviously are mostly very centric centered around my practice and Disaccada really his writing.

It was definitely anchoring. I think I think I kind of I got very good at hiding, which I would never encourage and if you know, but in a way, I kind of like I got very good at putting a hat on and going moving through the world without And you know, if I could go back, I would probably say to that kid, like, you know what, shine it bro just be you're here to make mistakes, and if they're public or private, you know, they're the mistakes

that you will. That's that deep purple in your canvas. Yeah, just it's it's not really how you go down, it's how you get up right. So and trust your heart, you know, and trust that you're in the in the flow. And that's that's something that I don't think I had a lot of, you know, as a kid. So as you as you, as you move on, you just go well,

the noise just eventually subsides. And now I'm like, have a perspective on it, just for years and I'm like, it's it's, it's, it's it's it's helped to know, you know, I like, I think it's but that was it was definitely through chanting that I think, and my practice and friends and the community that I had around me at the time, and and also being on the road and working so much. I think I just didn't most of it was just like hardly didn't really look at it, didn't really pay attention.

Because obviously you're quite a reflective, thoughtful individual. What's really the fear because it obviously isn't jumping out the plane for you.

stratosphere without a parachute, landing in a net. Camille Jebba, who is who is my free diving coach along with Will Troubich, who was who runs this vertical Blue competition in the Bahamas where I was diving Supreme Athletes who you know Camilla has swam to she's the Mexican world

record holder of like eighteen eighty plus meters. Now that's a you know, I think I got to thirty seven meters, which is about the four days, which was like one hundred, and I was really struggling because of my mask I had. I think I wish I'd not worn a mask. I wish i'd just like had goggled like the other I wish I'd thought that through because but I had some

issues with equalizing. But you know and or Mo Beck who's this adaptive climber who just you know was born with one hand and it started climbing as a child and just you know, is the woman in her field doing what she does and it's like a glass hot you know, it's it's just overflowing. These people are just overflowing.

But what it is is that they are experts and they it is a life choice almost right, So in a way like people have said to me, have you gone back to doing the freedom the wingsuiting or that, And I'm like, I really can't wait to do that. But it's like it's not something you just pit dip in and out of. You know, it's a real lifestyle choice, and it's a commitment, and it's it's something that gives you excellence. And I think the so so trusting in

that moment that everything you trusting myself. For me, it was about becoming capable, right in a way, like like learning to follow the protocols, learning to be present enough to take on board everything that's being told to me so that I can apply it to the moment that I'm in. So when I'm in the plane, I'm about to jump, and I'm really and I I uh, you know, I think the to be fair, I think the climbing.

I got such a body mouth on the climber because I was so frustrated and terrified by the by the gear, by the nots, by like whether I died it right or whether the road was going to hold me or whether I was going to and mostly because actually I had Mo's life in my hands right like so, but it was I think becoming capable and having that like

education and then being accountable for myself. So in the moment where the fear is really kicking and it's just trusting by kind of coming back to what everything I've learned from my practice was trusting your life, having faith in your life. I think faith is is so important, and I think misguided faith is sometimes so challenging for us as a as a as a species because it's

led to so much heartbreak and conflict. But actually I really admire people of faith because most people of faith, if it's not misguided, are really doing everything they can. And because it's my what is practice, we'll trying to be respectful of all faith. You know. I kind of feel like I know my path is the right one. I wish everyone would join me on this, but I totally respect that everybody has their path, and I think

that's what it comes down, right respect. So it's like a bit of the whole show was a bit of a human experiment for me, and I think the experiment and the lessons that I continually learned was a bit of like self respect, becoming capable trusting my life, and trusting that this was part of an important and necessary part of my life. And I, after all, I chosen to do it, you know, And I could find myself at times in these like super challenging physically challenging moments mentally,

physically and emotionally they were all totally different. So, you know, like wingsuiting just was it's super unnatural to jump half a plane. And then I think what Luke said to me was that I'm probably the first person to have jumped at twenty six jumps, so twenty five jumps. I got my a license for skydiving, and my twenty sixth jump was in a wingsuit. But he had me on

this trajection. But he knew from what he was watching, and you know, we were working every day for you know, a few not even that long, but he knew that I was capable to do so the free diving, I just didn't know if I was going to come back up.

I was like, wait, what what if I because I had and I think I was emotionally really challenged by this idea, like respecting my life, you know, treasuring my life because I think in some ways in my youth, treasuring my life, valuing my life, understanding the value of life, and being grateful for it in a very profound way. Like I think I have, you know, a stadium of angels or Buddhas or however whoever you want to call them.

But and we're climbing. It was like I'd find myself in these moments, as I said, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'm really having a hard time here, and I would with you know, I'd have I had this one of my assistants who became a producing partner, was working with for so long, who knew me so well. But I would just be like freaking out. She could see I was freaking out, but I was freaking out, but about something like while I wearing this T shirt? What does this T shirt mean? You know what I mean?

It was so so interesting how the mind, it's like you become you know what I mean instead of just getting in your you know, I became very I was like trying to control control the control the environment, control the things because I felt so out of control, like this T shirt is not the right teeth or whatever

it might be. You know, it was like for me, it didn't It could have been anything, but it was like because I needed to control whatever I had possible, you know, on me, because I felt so kind of out of control in some ways so as a human and I felt like it was a human experiment. I was like, I was like, how much does it take for me to crack? You know, how much pressure before

a and what does that look like? In some ways, So but in a way, like you know, that was the you know, I kept coming back to Amona cure. You know, you you what is meant for you is not going to go away, right, It's not. And this is but it's also was my first time in an unscripted world, right yea. You know, I think because of the nature of my upbringing, dyslexia and education, that was such a challenge. Although I got it all, did it all?

This is trusting yeah my heart, right, you're trusting your experience, right, I mean that's what you've done so well. You've like you're able to communicate from the heart listen, be present and you know what I mean, and come in with the with the points that like like oh wow, you're you're actually absorbing and taking that on and I think and sharing and putting a message out. But it's sometimes hard for people, you know, especially I think.

of the fact that you can't control of this. And it's interesting how that is such a great metaphor for life somehow, because we're all trying to control everything we can control and what we can't control, not recognizing that so much is outside of our control, and that makes us in life feel helpless, and it can often make

us retreat and hide and disappear. But when you're climbing a mountain, you can't disappear, like, you can't retreat from that, right It's almost like you have to sit in that discomfort and you have to sit with that emotion, which is actually what real life is demanding of us. But we find a way to kind of hide it, push it away, deal with it, and so it's it's the most physical real way I remember when and this is why I think you're hopefully the show will you know,

encourage people to do. We all have something that's uncomfortable for us, whether it's internal or external, and I think everyone needs a friend who encourages them to do some extreme sports now and again, my wife needs less encouragement than I do. As life has gone on, I've become

a bit more reserved. And I had a friend a couple of years ago who made me do skydiving, who made me do crazy things with him, and I was really grateful for that because it made me realize how many blocks I had up here that I was unaware of. I thought I'd conquered so many blocks, but there are still so many, so much lack of trust and so much lack of that feeling of oh, actually, I can

sit in discomfort. I was almost trying to get away from discomfort because at one point in my life I had put myself through so much of it and now just wanted to be in a comfortable space.

with your Buddhist practice is mindful and present. How do you reconcile the two, because you know, if you're feeling all this adrenaline and this extreme sport and that makes you feel a lo but then how do you also feel alive in the tiny moments and maybe being with your kids or yeah, yeah, yeah, being with Blue as we just your beautiful dog that just with.

I wake up feeling grateful, and you know, I feel you know, that partly that's my practice to give them me the opportunity. But for some people it's like, look, just getting up from the couch and go into the kitchen,

what does it take for them to do that? I know through COVID, which was the idea, was that what does it take for that person just to go to the park, just step outside, take your shoes off, socks off, stand in the grass and look at the trees and just that maybe all it takes, but it may be so challenging for one person. For that person, So like, yes, for me, you know, when I was kind of raw docking it with my all my kind of add and

just things happening, I was just like in it. I say that because when I say raw doy, I mean I was just like I've subsequently found like a really amazing like peptide, which is fantastic. That's helped me really kind of connect my thoughts at times because sometimes it's really disjointed. But in a way I love that about

my thinking because it kind of is sporadic. But for some people, as I said, the hope for the show for me was like it took me okay for me, who you know, arguably throughout my life has really you know, loved the thrill. Like if I'm going really fast, either on a motorcycle or in a car or whatever, it maybe I feel like I'm more focused, Like I'm more likely to have an accident at thirty miles an hour than sixty miles an hour, you know, because I'm just

there's a I switched into some other mode. And it's kind of true for everything I've done in my life, Like if it's really up against me, then I'm gonna

I'm gonna step up in a whole other way. Like for example, all the Rings, where I was like my first movie really and I'm with Ian McKellen and Ian Holm and Christopher Lee and Viego Mortenson and even Elijah who I'd seen the movies, and you know, like these amazing actors, all of whom had so much experience, and it was an amazing gift, but it was also like, okay,

step up, you know, and the blessing of that. So I think you kind of take that high of these insane things that you're doing, but it's all really like relevant to the Like sometimes I can wake up in the morning and I just can't figure out even with

way to go. You know, I'm like I can feel like I'm like, wait what, I'm so grateful, but wait what am I My brain is like it's like trying to bring it online, and it can and it can be really overwhelming in terms of you know, so it's like back to chance, back to breath, back to presence, back to stillness, back to gratitude, back to like I

had this. I think I think I had this kind of really remarkable plant journey, medicine journey, and you know, I set an intention around the feminine because we touched on my mother briefly and I was like, you know, my mother gave me this, which is wonderful, and loved me ouheartedly and was in boarding school at the age of four, so it was like she's didn't really have a full you know of what nurture and things was, but she was so love is and remains so loving

and a great opportunity for me to continue to grow and evolve. But I set an intention before. I was like, because I wanted to ask Katie to Marny and I was like, I just need to kind of check in and I'd never done, you know, this particular medicine and I was like, I want to just so I flew somewhere to meet this and I'd set this intention around the feminine right, and I was like and basically the three points that came out, I was like, am I clean? Am I good? Here? Can I do move forward with this?

Because it's important to me to know that I'm clear right, And so it's with aya right. So you get this feeling of and somebody had explained to me that you had this amazing feminine energy coming at you. And I think you're supposed to do three carps and I took five. Well, I wanted to have this, this this I was just waiting.

I was there and I didn't I was just on a couch with this amazing room of musicians and this wonderful guide and he just looked at me at six in the morning and he was he had been journeying with me, and he was like, you want more? And

I was like one more? And then I had this like sensation of lightness and this I think basically it's like our minds, right, You're like you're exploring aspects of your mind that the neuropathways that you just haven't like looked at right, you understand that it's the map of your mind. Right, that's kind of and you've disconnected your ego enough to be humble enough to take on and I and this message was, well, first of all, just

be grateful. Look at your life, right. Second of all, you don't have an issue with women, you know, look at your life. Wonderful women in your life. And even if even if there are aspects of women in your life that you have, it's all been part of your evolution. But maybe the feminine in you, it was like she was you know, there was this there was just it was like, so maybe you could nurture a bit more

of the feminine in you. And I was like, okay, but it was like nurture I guess the creative artistics side that just like pondering and poetical and things that I hadn't And then but the last one that I remember that was so it was like whenever you're with somebody and maybe the last time you see them again, you just don't know, So make it great. What have you got to lose? You may never see this person again. We don't know. Life is like, you don't know, So

just make it great. Because I at a young age, I'd had a real challenge. I'd have people come at me consistently, right, and I'd be like, and I'd be in whatever mental state or moment that I was in, and sometimes I'm just like, you know, I mean, you know, and and all they want is this moment, and it's so easy for me to just go, hey, yeah, I don't sure, yeah, here, no problem, and then carry on.

But sometimes it was just like, you know, I could it felt like almost acid because I was just it didn't what it represented at a different time in my life was a restriction, right, and I wanted to feel free. But I think that moment of that thing for me was like you may never see this person again. I don't know. Life is not built like that, So just make it great. It's not hard, right, or at least leave it with that, you know. So I think that was the did I answer the question?

sure you have friends. I have friends who've lost parents, partners, people, and they all regret their last conversation with them because it was conflict or it was an argument, or it was a debate that they.

I found this with my own wife, Like we've been together for eleven years and married for eight, and it's this, It's it's being comfortable or with the idea that she is also the deepest mirror I'll ever have, because no one in the world sees all of my flaws, all of my mistakes, all the moments when I'm not perfect. You know, I always joke about how like my wife knows whether I meditated this morning or not, Like no one else does, but my wife knows, and my wife

knows whether it was quality or whether it's distracted. My wife knows. You know, my wife knows whether I left my socks on the floor, you know, whatever, just whether it's silly or deep, it's it's she is in a position. And when your partner doesn't abuse that authority and doesn't use it as a form of control, but actually reflects that some care and compassion, it can be a really it's almost like you can't grow without it. Have you?

What have you? What scared you about relationships? And what? Like? You said you had no problem with women, that wasn't a thing. But what was revealed to you in your relationship?

in a deeply loving, committed relationship. You want to you want to control or own or have or and you know, even just letting go of ideas of how things should be or the idea of what intimacy or intimate moments are to you versus them, or how you know, whatever it may be, because everybody, because you've chosen that person, you're on a journey with that person. You know you're

going to learn this lesson. And if you've chosen that person, then that's the person you're going to learn that lesson with, you know, I mean that's the opportunity, right.

a sense, but we don't know. You don't the same thing as like I may never see that person again every day it may you may never see that version of that person again, or you know, whatever it may be. But like, yeah, we're just you know, we have we I'm forced I seize the opportunity every day to grow. And as you see from the show, I'll never choose the past, the easy path, you know, like it's just

not who I am. And you know, in some ways my relationship is the greatest opportunity for my continual growth. And you know, and I know we both see it that way. So that's how we grow and we do and she will not you know, she'll hold me accountable

and I'll do the same. And sometimes you know, you'll be confronted by your own self, you know, And I think you know, trust right, trusting your path, your journey, your faith that this is what's meant for you and then you know, the universe will take care of the rest. And making mistakes and going okay, I did that, was yeah, I did that. Sorry, I I sort of am like, there's no yeah, I think I think I've you know, seen how learning more like the mistake. I think, like

I think very early on in life. Actually, really I didn't enjoy making mistakes. Does anybody I don't know. Maybe some people really do, but I didn't. It wasn't comfortable with.

we love to go and walks. I love to go and walks with my son, and and we talk a lot. I try to, you know, and at different stages. Look, he's thirteen now, so it's almost like Dad is getting pushed aside. And I kind of know what that feels like. I was the same, you know, So I'm not I try not to take it personal. And I miss him, and I'm like, I just text him. I love him

and I miss him. But we have these wonderful walks and talks, and I kind of just throughout whatever we're saying, I try to keep reinforcing just the the undercurrent philosophy and thinking of my practice and which is just you know, are you are you respecting? Are you? Are you you know if there is that kid in class who's not you know, are you are you supporting that kid that's not getting the support, because that's where you'll find a richness, right because I kind of like, I know that's in

his heart as well. I see it. And funny he said to me, Dad, you know, I'm really good at just bluffing. And I think, like, but this is him at thirteen, you know, flexing a bit in this way of trying to like trying to kick And he was like, yeah, but Dad, I just knew that would that would be

the thing that people would have preved. Like, good, well, just keep working that then, because even if you're thinking we'll try and make you say you're going to do, just keep working that, even if it's even if you think it's like you're putting on a show, fake it till you make it. You know, if you just keep doing that, just keep trying to do the right thing, and eventually you'll start to realize what the right thing is.

time or moment, then great. You know, I encourage people to do that. It's not you know, I'm like, this is how you do it, just it's not. It's not a meditational process, right, like a meditation I do as well. I have a meditation TM practice. But for me, it's like yoga for the mind. You know. It's like when I'm really stressed out or like you know that too much coffee?

the speed limit because there are children and things. But like, I know what you know, So sometimes I can be really intense. How have you emotionally?

giving me a message. She's just this amazing woman, and she was like, but we like little we're like little galaxy. If you actually dissolved us, the trillions and billions of you know, you know, cells and everything, it's like a little it's like a little galaxy. So we're all little galaxies going around the planet right in a way. So all of that energy, which as you know and talked about and many bodies, it's like it's whatever you're saying, you become right. As we all know, these all these

old adages are so true. So it's not like but so yeah, it's I think for me, it's like the shame game doesn't work. I don't want to I don't want to receive it from anyone. I mean, I did this. I had this amazing experience and I went six years ago, maybe seven years ago, now seven years ago, more than

seven years ago, nearly eight years ago. I went to the Hoffmann Institute, which is just wonderful, and it was I'd had a really I've been seeing Kay for a year and I've broken up and then we'd sort of, no, we hadn't actually we've broken up yet. I've been seeing her for for a little while, and then we had broken up and we got back together, you know, the

young love weirdness of trying to find things. But I had been triggered into this really unique pattern of behavior that I felt i'd inherited from my mom, right, this thing of like seeing I'm here, you know, with my mom, Mama over here, you know, I think you know what I mean, and trying to get the attention right. And I was like, oh, one of the worst years internally I can ever remember, because I felt like I was

playing a part instead of being a part. And it was just because I had so many feelings and I was so and I was in water that it was just uncharted. So a dear friend of mine, Buddhist, had an actor friend from New York, had had suggested that I do this two years ago and I hadn't picked

up on it. James has seen this amazing actor, human, just wonderful person, and I was like, I sort of remembered when I we'd had this breakup, and I'd remembered I'd taken my passport, left everything else and walked into New York because we'd been in New York. And then

I was like, got on a plane home. But before I got on a plane home, I went to his house because it was like five in the morning when we've had this rip roaring ard again, and I was like, took my passport and walked out of the door, and I was like, and he talked about it, and so I did this course and I left with these three thinking and it was it was a wonderful week where you don't have your phone, you don't have the email you have, so you have no connection to the outside

world really and you don't and people, you know, obviously I was me, but I had this nobody's there for that, so it's really people are on there own. They're all in their own form of need. So I was wearing like a name tag that was my childhood name or whatever.

And then I did seven days of like I guess, kind of like a group therapy, and I felt like three years of therapy in seven days in a way, and they take you're on this beautiful journey through these seven days where you have like a Thanksgiving dinner or a Christmas dinner, a birthday and a whole thing from

It's like, it's beautiful the way it's constructed. And I came out with this thinking and I talked to James at the time about this as well of feeling safe, seen and celebrated, I want to feel safe, so in terms of my relationship, so with self first, right, So if I look in the mirror, I feel safe? Do I feel safe with you today? Do I feel seen by you? Am I kind of observing myself? And do I feel celebrated?

us on different trajectories. But whilst I feel that way, So safety and celebrated was something that really made me kind of go. I came back into my life and into my relationship after this, and then I said we separated. It was interesting and I was like, that's tough. Okay,

this is what's meant. You know, this is some years ago now, but this this stickiness that we had this connection and she was never really not a part of my the walls, and she would reach out in weird ways like Instagram or whatever, and I'd be like processing, and I was like, and then I made a sort of decision because I had this safe, scene, celebrated thing, not to see her and as she would and then she's she actually did this this Hoffman as well and

had an amazing experience herself, and so we just kind of I think it was like it created a foundation. So we're constantly sort of bouncing off this thing. And sometimes the foundation is really rocky, of course, and sometimes I don't know, is this are we is the universe? Are we still going? I get? I gave her this picture of a tree, you know, and I was like, and it was it was this beautiful. I bought it in India, I think, but it was this this these

two trees growing as one. I was like, this is this is what it should be as long as we can trance. The branches can go all over the place, but the roots and the and the and the base of the tree is the trunk is growing together. You know. It's the it's the pillars of the temple, right, need them to stand strong together so that you can hold the that you know, hold that. But I yeah, it's it's been a yeah, that's great criteria.

the remarkable you know, I think I had this. I thought I was like when I had Daisy by daughter, I was like I mean, I feel like every man should have a daughter before they get married in a way, because it's like you see every emotion under the sun in the split second, and it's like and you have

nothing but love because you're there. There's no judgment, there's just like I'm just like marveling at her explosion of emotion and she'll be like, no, daddy, no dad, Mummy, I want And I'm like, if i'd been in, you know, a partner, a reflection of a partner doing that could have really messed me up at different times. And I'm like, we what see me? Look, look look at me, Look at me. I'm over here, mummy, I'm over here. You know, whatever it may be, you know, our patterns from childhood,

whatever that may be. And I like and I'm like, and it's in a way, it's like, you know, so I can have those, you know, with a powerful human you know that that I've chosen in some ways, every day it's like gott to keep leveling up and trying and making mistakes and going okay, no, that didn't work. All I'm going to do this and that's no, don't do that. You might you know, but you know, sometimes

It's very interesting, isn't it. I think the masculine in in in relation to the feminine, you know, m hm, like my mind map again, you know, like I'd set an intention around the thing and I was like, oh no, it's not women. It's like the feminine within you. It's like, but in this world that we live in, it's like trying to find the the the right level because it's not like obvious, you know, it's not there's no it's you know, I think people are always you know, how

do you how do you have the right balance. It's like it's like it's like sometimes you're just really you know, mass overly overly, you know, edgy, and sometimes you just like you can be that you can hold that big space because you because in your mind you're capable. But you know, I think it's just choosing, right, just keep choosing. You choose life, and you choose to you choose to go on a journey, and you choose to keep it real, and you choose to.

felt that way to me. And you're so right, Like my wife will always say to me, Gosh, when you're around your sister, just you know, completely different, and it's it's that fatherly brother.

it's so much easier to understand. I always feel like I was raised by my mum and tried to raise my sister the best as I could, and it was almost like that's made me a better husband than I would have been because I had a different experience with women that I wouldn't have had if I didn't have a younger sister and I had a younger brother, or whatever it may be, And so that resonates very strongly.

But also this idea of I've seen myself act with my wife, with the people I love in a way that I don't like at all, and I've seen myself act in the best way possible. And I'll oscillate between the two depending on where I'm at on any given day. And it's what you said earlier that it takes two people to be able to let go, takes two people to be able to forgive. It takes two people to be able to not over amplify or underreact or overreact.

And you're constantly playing in that space if you want a loyal, committed, long term relationship which has very different positives than a short, easy, quick moment, and we'd fix yeah, yeah, And it's almost like it's what you said, it's choosing what you want.

And I you know, I wrote this like a mission statement when I when I first met her, because I wanted to. I wanted to try to articulate all these crazy feelings that I was having at the time, which was like a reveal that I hadn't had in a

long time in somehow. And one of the things that I said in this like p this this, this this letter I wrote her was you know, I want us to We're going to bring our little kids out, you know, are inner child We're gonna bring out, and I'll dook it out with you as much as you like, so long as we just promised to keep getting up, you know, because it's like if we don't get up, I need to know that, like you'll do it out, I'll do it out, but that we'll get up, you know, and

keep you know, because that's because it doesn't matter about you've got, You're going to go down. People are going to make mistakes, things are going to happen. Life is set for that. You know, it's not you know, it's not meant to be. The opportunities, as we said at the beginning, for growth, don't come through an easy path. They can't. They're not when the other thing's going great. It's when the ships hit the fan, right, And that's when, you know. So I kind of feel like I'm constantly like,

when's the next one? Yeah, next, next, lesson, when's the next one coming? But you know, how much how much you know? How much humility do I need to learn today? You know? Or what do I need to do? And what choices have I made that have led to this? And how am I going to own that?

for you between that mindset getting exhausting versus energizing? Because I think a lot of people would say, gosh, if I'm always having to figure out what to learn and what message and from the universe and my partner. That's exhausting. Yeah, but it seems like you're energized by that, which is what you see in the show, Like you're energized by the idea that there's more to learn. What's what's the difference?

What have you found? How are you able to sustain that level of wanting to evolve and grow?

learn at this time. Right in retrospect, when you're younger and in that moment of crisis, whatever that may be, And listen, I didn't have a mobile phones that I was twenty, right, But there is a window of time in my life which is almost like a void because of the immense pressure and experience that life was throwing at me at such a rapid pace that I literally can like there are blacks almost feel like right like I can't even like my friend brest friends will go.

But remember when we went to Japan on that press, I was like we went to Japan together, Like yeah, I'm like, okay, so you know, but yeah, I think that's it. I think. I think I think saying at a young age with chant with a practice like mine helped me as well to recognize because constantly reinforcing this idea of opportunities through obstacles or opportunities, and even when you're in it and it's nightmare, Oh these exams, this thing this you know, this boyfriend or this girlfriend or

this situation. This, Like I think it's always simplify as well, steady like life, you know is you know, at least my experience is like I love the high octane, right, and I've been at the at that depth. I love the depth as well. But when I'm steady, when I'm just when I just like come back to the simple, right, simplify because sometimes you just need a walk, you know what I mean, You just need to go outdoors. Sometimes you just need to look at the sky, take a

deep breath. Sometimes it's just and it's a few little touchstones that you can create for yourself, you know, so that you have tools, right, create your own toolbox. And I think that's what I got from just so many different things, whether it's Hoffmann or a plant journey, Yeah, so many, or an encounter with somebody important, or my relationship to Disacovacade and my mentor or And I think

it's also we're wired. We're all wired differently, so like you know, but if you keep leaning into that area of and not being afraid to lean into the discomfort of life, then that's what the show is giving you. You know, you're leaning into the discomfort, you get the benefit, right. And you know, again that might just be getting up from your couch, turning off the TV, or not scrolling on your phone or putting you know, just deleting that app for like twenty four hours, so that you're just

not being ruled by something outside of yourself. I think in this new aid we've been in the age of the Internet. I think at this new age of AI, which we're all there's so much anxiety and sort of you know, you know, nervousness around And I saw, you know, Sam Altman speak about some of this stuff, and I

thought it's so interesting. But I think my takeaway from what he had said, and what I think is true for my life and what I can since is discipline, self discipline, because it's a choice to pick up your phone. It's a choice to get lost in your phone. It's a choice to keep scrolling. Or you could choose to put it down and step outside and simplify, do that meditation, do that yoga class. You could It's all choices, right.

But I think the people that I think that if as and when you know, we see this new chapter of life, it's going to be totally different. My son, your your children, when you come into the world, they're not going to know a world without super intelligence. They're just not going to know that. Like my son doesn't know a well without the Internet. How has that impacted his life?

what's going to be my what's the discipline. I'm going to create the routines and disciplines to create and keep working at so that I don't slip off into that. Because I do it, I can find myself just going And I kind of love my algorithm by the way, like it will send me all of your things and other people's, you know, and like messaging around. It's definitely

listening to me messaging around. Oh, this relationship person is talking about fantastic things, you know, and I'm like, oh, that would be great for the world to see or whatever, you know, whatever it may be, So like, don't there's not it's not all bad, but it is. I think the discipline, the self mastery of discipline, right, self discipline and self mastery to know the one is the one that will protect. Because if you're like, what do they call them in games where it's like non player NPC,

is it right? We can all become those. We can all just switch off and turn on our auto pilot and just be like because you don't want to because it's overwhelming. It's overwhelming. You're overwhelmed by the consistent. I mean, you know, if you keep looking at the news, you're just going to be overwhelmed. It's wild, It's wild. I have so many friends who are like on both sides of you know, conflicts, you know, whether you know, and

just it's just you just go. You can just be overwhelmed, you can just that is.

always appreciate that I took that away with me. But I think it's like I kind of respect couples more than anything else now today somehow as well when we talk about relationshi, because it's the people that have kind of gone, they're continuing to choose and not to upgrade or think they're upgrading or that the grass is greener because we can all do that, of course, and maybe we will. And there's no judgment there either too, by

the way, no judgment on any of it. But personally I kind of go, oh wow, you know, I admire that because it doesn't It's not easy, man, you know, because as people, as we age and change, and second, we're all being told that like you can get this new handbag that will go with this new car, or you can get this new watch and this new thing, and you're just going to keep. And I love a shiny object. So do I love a shiny object? You know?

it's been when I've been in a relationship. Often I've been in a relationship and I don't and I was like, wait, what why Why is that? Why am I not when I'm because what's being so? Yeah, but it's been, it was that was it was my Yeah, it was literally my I can feel it.

me and my own meditation. It was revealed to me that if I really want to serve and have the impact that I want to have, that I'll have to be okay with dealing with more stress, pain, external.

for the next life. I'm like, that's how I'm looking at it now. I'm like, I'm living for the next one, you know, like the Egyptians with the temples, it's like they were doing that because it was like and I kind of like, if I can live like that. But I think that when I allow myself, it feels connected to I think self worth, which I think is something that like we all kind of like, you know, like is Jay ready for that bigger canvas? Is he ready to put that message out into the world? Does he

deserve that? Has he done enough for that? Am I worthy of that? Right? Have I? Have I done the work? Am I doing that? Am I in the flow enough? Am I? And also like because it's not it's cyclical, right, Sometimes you're just not in the front. I had seven years of just being what felt like some of that like swimming up river just and because I was just I'm going to throw up this river now for some reason,

you know. And that was partly that time when I was separated and living in Montment and like training with lead and stuff, and I really kind of put my body and my mind through a lot of different before I did the shut even before I did to the edge. So I think I think it really for me, it's like that we're enough, right. I think somebody said it

on your wall there, that you're enough. But it's like, I think we all struggle sometimes to really deeply believe that we are enough, that we're value, that we're valuable. You know, we're imprinted by our parents from the age of zero to seven, right, But that's not even taking into account the time that you know you're in your mother's So there's a whole heap of information that is just like is it yours or is it somebody else's.

I'm constantly trying to go, like, how do I detach from my this idea of what is that my that is that my baggage looked like my baggage. I mean I know, okay, that's mine, all right, I take that, that's unpack that, but all that other stuff, you know, And I've I think Hoffman taught me a lot in that space. But I think i've interestingly like it's a fear of like being alone? Are you good to be alone? I think that was the biggest for me in a long time. Am I good to just be on my own?

And I'm constantly working now? Math am I good enough on my own? Because am I good in my own company? Do I feel good with me just to be with just me today or for this next hour? Because I spent a lot of time in my youth with people who I you know, really love and admire and adore and cantinue to, but in a way it wasn't serving me. I was like, it was you know, we talk about

energy and drains and things. You know, there were there were there were relationships in my life that I didn't even really realize that the impact that they were having. And then when I did, I was like, oh wait a second, this needs reframing. And until I'm ready to reframe, I'm going to just take pause to feel safe soon

and celebrated. But I think that I think my so in amongst all of that, I think it was probably being alone and being good with being alone and recognizing because we're going to be born and we're going to die alone. So it's like, how how how good are you with being alone?

with because you haven't accepted it. But no, that answer is beautiful being alone and being comfortable in your own skin and being enough, and that is the lifelong journey. I feel like that's you know, that is it and well and I feel like I could talk to you for hours and I hope we do.

the complete So he wrote this letter. Or he may have been busy, but he was there, but he didn't. But it was a choice from and within it, he said, there's a piece about I'm going to not maybe land this, but you'll get one point. This lifetime is about, you know, from the material, from the external to the internal and making all mothers happy, because I'd love to actually find the quote.

written for you as well to read along. But it says the times are changing from an age where justice, from an age where power is justice, to an age in which justice is power. In this new age, the supreme guiding principle will be the benefit of all humanity rather than the interests of one particular nation or ethnic group. We will see the transformation of history from the revolution of the external environment to that of the inner self,

the inner human revolution. It will be an age in which the actions of.

the mothers. And it's like, and he goes on to say about respecting your father and mother, and I really think he means all fathers, all mothers. You know. I was talking about this with David, who introduced me to my practice just earlier, and we were saying, he was saying it, I've really come to understand.

the internal. If we are those little galaxies, right, if we really start to understand each of us and have like respect and take responsibility, right, imagine if you know, I think what I what I kind of understood about my practice was if I'm good enough and capable enough to just take care of my side of the street, right, then if I get so good at it, I can start to take care of other people's side of the street. Because there are some people they just don't have the

skill set. They may not have had the education, they may not have the upbringing, whatever it. Maybe the circumstances they were born into a life that just didn't provide anything like then tools necessary to be able to cope with what life is like, those obstacles. I was talking about that for some people, it's just it's just there the whole time, right. It's like, if we're all becoming capable humans and able of taking care of then we

can start taking care of your neighbor. Right, you know what I mean, start taking care of the person next to you because they can't, right, Because that's what it's going to take right in my mind for this next chapter with where you know, jobs are not what they used to be and people need you know, that boundary, right, they need that that frame of reference that you need that kind of the security through through through boundaries. Right. So yeah, the discipline, but the respect and they all

mother's happy. Let's make all mothers happy. It's funny. I don't do that though, by the way.

know you're going there together. And I think that's so true for so much of what we discussed. And everyone's been listening and watching back at home or at work or wherever you are in the world. Make sure you tune into the Edge, which is premiering on April eighteenth if you haven't already. And also please please please let me and Orlando know on Instagram TikTok. You guys cut

up the best clips and everything. Let me know what resonated, what connect to tag us both so we can see what you're practicing, what you're staying with you and what you're putting in and implementing and applying in your life. But a big than you do. Orland there for showing up. Thanks me so deeply and wonderfully, and I'm excited for one of these conversations.