Lauren London ON: Trauma, Spirituality & How to Recover From Loss

the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you who come back every week to listen, learn and grow. And I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love is out and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eight Rules of Love dot com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or

let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour love Rules. Go to Ja shettytour dot com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences and more. I can't wait to

see you this year now. I love these episodes when I get to sit down with dear friends, people that I have spent deep, quality, heartfelt time with, and I get the opportunity to share them with you because they have such a wealth of insights, such a wealth of wisdom, such a wealth of life experience. But I have to move into my interviewer mode and make sure that you know about how epic they are as well behind the scenes. I mean, they are doing a lot more than being

my friend. So today's guest is none other than Lauren London and la native career skyrocketed after starring in the film ATL and Miss London's career in the year since ATL includes a number of feature films and television series, including This Christmas, Next Day Air, Tyler Perry's Medea, Big Habby Family, I Love You, Beth Cooper Baggage claimed The Perfect Match, as well as television series HBO's Entourage, nine

two one zero, Single Ladies, and The Game. In twenty nineteen, she appeared in the BT series Games People play, which is currently in production on season two. Season one centered around London's character Vanessa King. And then this was a movie that I just saw recently. In the spring of twenty twenty one, Tom Clancy's Without Remorse, starring Michael B.

Jordan was released with Laurence starring as Pam Kelly. There are so many more amazing things that Lauren's working on behind the scenes, so many other incredible things that in production and Netflix mini series True Story alongside Kevin Hart and Wesley Snipes, and she's producing much more further projects

as well. Beyond all of this amazingness on screen, what I can truly say is that having spent pretty much like four hours a week with this incredible woman for the past twelve months, maybe more, is that there are very few people who carry the energy she carries. And in any room Lauren walks into, she lights it up with love, with grace, with this beautiful presence. And my wife and I are not only huge fans of her work on screen, we believe she's one of the most

hilarious people offscreen. We love you, Lauren. Thank you so much for doing the On Purpose podcast, and it is so great to have you on the show. Thanks for being here, Lauren. Oh, thank you jay Man. The introduction was like a plus plus. You make me excited about myself. I'm like, I guess I've been working for why you've You know, you've done so much in your career, and I always feel blessed when I get to see people on screen and offscreen, because I think we're all humans

that have real lives and real experiences. But I mean, everything in that intro was true, So congratulations to you. I mean, you know it's it's all your hard work and all your achievements. I hope we get a special appearance from crossoad Cam today in the shot. You know, one can only hope. I don't want to snack very soon. But Lauren, I want to start with just diving straight in.

You know, you have experienced so much in your career, so many amazing life changing moments, but at the same time, in your personal life, you've been given so many surprises and pivots and changes and challenges. And I want to hear about your journey as to how you've found grace, spiritual connection and how have you been guided by that through some of the most difficult things that anyone in the world would ever have to experience, you know, my

spiritual journey. It had so many transformations. So I had a very traumatic childhood, you could say, with just a lot of abuse and you know, neglect, and not at the hands of my mother though, let me clear that up. And so I was very very connected to God at a really early age. I just remember hearing God very very very clear. And then you know, as I grew up, I lost a bit of my connection to God and then got reintroduced to God in another way in my

early adulthood. And then really when Nit passed, I felt like that was when I had to really really get to know God personally, not in theory, not an idea, not you know, only when things are good to pray and devote. It made me feel like I wanted to really understand our purpose here on earth, why we were here, what are we to do here? I didn't want to live a life in vain. I wanted to be on purpose, and so it just it was this like this thirst for the truth. I think when tragedy happens, you you

can either just survive or survive and thrive. And I really made the choice to survive and thrive, and I feel like I can only do that through the grace of God and just being a servant of God. That's beautiful learning. Thank you for sharing that. Let's let's go back to that early childhood that you were mentioning. What was like a pivotal moment in your childhood that you believe is defined who you are and how you show up.

What was a moment that happened in those early years you think taught you something so powerful that shaped who you are today. Well, you know, I think when you you know, my parents were really young, and they really tried the best, you know, with what they had and just the tools they had in their toolbox. And so I learned very early about betrayal and how being alone because I was the only child and there was a lot of violence around me and towards me, how I

could only depend on God. And I learned that very early on that the humans and the adults in my life might not have been the best protectors, but that I was okay because I had faith in God, and that depending on God and leaning on God and trusting that I would be okay really carried me through my young childhood and my adulthood and just you know, clearly no one's perfect, and our parents are humans. I think that was a really hard lesson for me to learner

that my parents were just humans. I think you've raised such an interesting point there, because when I think about what you're saying, I think it's so natural as a young person to look for role models, to look for protectors, to look for shelter, to look for another human to be under their wing. And when you're young and that breaks, you kind of keep looking sometimes in the wrong places too.

And I know I did that in my own life, where when I couldn't find it from what seemed like the natural, traditional places of shelter, I started to find it in the wrong areas. Did you ever feel that you went down that path when you were younger, where you were taking shelter of things that now you wouldn't want your kids to do, but you kind of had

no choice before you got to that God place. It's almost like before that tell us a bit about that journey of like looking for shelter in humans, looked at everything decided there was also a moment where I just you know, my faith dwindled because life happened and I was like, well, why would this happen? Clearly there's no power to be life is just crumbling around me. I was just looking outside of myself for validation. I didn't

have a really good, strong sense of self worth. And so you know kids, I think children internalize everything when they're really young, and then around adolescent people always think adolescents are so troubled, and but that's when you start to express everything you even internalize that age. And so around like fourteen fifteen, I start to express everything I had internalized, and you know, I started to drink and smoke and skip school or not go to school, you know,

completely not go to school at all. And I got kicked out of high school. And I went from like an honors student, which is like you know, very magnet and all all these ap classes, to never going back to school because I was so my anger was starting to come out from everything I had went through. And yeah, that and then I had a dream around like nineteen of just years of acting out, that I died. And I was like, how this is so crazy, How like, no, I'm not sick, no one knows. I'm like walking out

of my mom's house. And this figure was there and the figure was like, you know, I kind of explained to me that I was leaving Earth. It was such an eerie dream and I was like, where's Jesus And the figure was like, He's not here for you. And I woke up immediately. It was Sunday morning and I literally drove myself to church and my life changed after that. Wow, I mean that those kind of dreams. Do you have dreams like that often? Or was that like a one off?

And was that like at that time? Had you had other dreams around that time that were different to that. No. I used to have like very dreams that were kind of like premonitions when I was younger. I you know, of like areas and places that I would eventually see when I was older. So but nothing like that that was very specific, I think to my need of transformation.

I really like the theme, Lauren, that you've kind of touched on in your own life and in your past, because I think you're spot on that when we're young and even when we get older, we're constantly looking for a protector and shelter, and we almost go from like will you be my protector? And then that person lets us down and then we go to this person and say, well, no, you be my protector, and then they let us down

and we keep doing that. The fact that you've raised that is really powerful because I think sometimes we don't even know we're doing that because you're not saying it in those words. You're not saying be my protector, but inside in your heart, that's kind of what you're looking for.

Tell us about those lessons you learned when you went down the wrong paths and chose some of the wrong I think what I really what I've learned from being younger and looking outside of myself for protection and safety and comfort, was that the ultimate comfort and protection comes from a higher power. It came from God for me.

And I was telling you just being a single mother and a single woman now and you know, yes, I have family and I have friends that are protectors, but ultimately my protection is divine and it comes from God. And really trusting that now and I didn't trust it before. And I think when you've gone through tragedy or trauma in any part of life, it really makes you. You know, they don't talk about how it really it challenges your relationship with God and it am I really being protected?

Something really horrible has happened, and I really safe. Something horrible has happened. And you know, I'm learning that even now that I am protected, that it is okay to lean into that, to not have to always be around people or you know, not always feeling like I'm not protected if I'm alone, that I am totally in trust with God. That's a lesson I'm still learning today that I'm trying to just cultivate even more. Yeah, it's interesting,

isn't it. How we've created this animosity with being alone. Like we think of being alone or lonely as such a negative thing, and it's almost been ingrained in our life since we were younger. It's like, if you were the kid at school who didn't have lots of friends, you were the loner. And if you got invited to a wedding and you didn't have a plus one, it was like, oh, what's wrong with you? And it's like we've always been told that you need a better half

or someone to complete you. Like the language has always being being alone is a weakness, and that being alone means you've been abandoned. It's almost like we think being alone means abandonment, but that's not true. You can be happy alone and have great relationships and friends, but no

way your shelter is. I want to hear about how long it takes you and what you have to go through to gain that trust that there's something beyond, because now when you're looking back, it obviously makes sense, but if you if you remember being in that position, the last thing you want to do is trust that there's something greater or deeper or more powerful, because you're like, well, I don't even have that trust in myself, you know, and we keep transferring our trust to humans, and so

I just want to hear about some of the pain that comes with that, or some of the challenges that come with that, or some of that journey before you were able to be. When I see you now and I obviously we know each other, and I see you be so confident in that space, I kind of want to hear where that confidence came from. You know, For me, personally, I think it's all it's really based on the individual

in someone's individual journey. For me personally, it was because I didn't have a choice, There was no other option that was taken away from me. Where I was in a house I wasn't alone. I was in a relationship, you know, I was protected and covered and then that was tragically taken away with the passing you know of my son's father that I was forced into. I am alone now? And who do you trust as far as yourself? God?

What's that relationship like? When you don't have anything else to lean on and stand on, all you have is what you came here with, and so you and the divine And so I was kind of pushed into communication with God. I had to start really talking to God really, not just reading the books. And um, you know I always say, like applying it and reading it or two

different things. You can read all the books everywhere, you can speak recite what you read in the book, but once you apply what you read, that's a different ball game. And so I had to learn application. Yeah, that's such a such a great point from communication and application. I think that's that's so powerful. Let's I've loved watching you be a mom. I've only ever known you in this this phase of your life, like I didn't know. I haven't known you before, and you have two incredible sons

who are just so fun to be with. Calm is like the ultimate gentleman, and you know this this very like almost regal person. It's just like so well spoken, so gentle, so smart and intellectual as well, and then you have crossed. It's just like the cutest little being in the world and just has so much like spontaneous energy, has your humor, you know, that kind of vibe. And I see how much they love you and how much you love them, and that connection. It's so beautiful. Lauren.

I'm asking you this probably for the first time. I've never asked you this before because I believe it's not an easy question to answer, But how does it feel to have a plan for life and have a picture of what life looks like and then have that picture being torn? Like? What does that actually feel like? Because I think that's something that we underestimate because not everyone goes through that fully, but the extent to which you've been through that, we may all get little pieces of that.

And so I feel your experience can be a real blessing for everyone, and I know you can share it with that heart. So I'd love to ask you that question now. It is the ultimate lesson in control, not having control, letting go. It's really when you have this plan for your life as you should. We should manifest, we should set goals, you should right you have intentions and if or when that gets derailed and you have plan being now to go off that you didn't plan on.

It is the ultimate test of surrender, letting it go, letting God now move in your life. You know, I think for me, it was I had this idea I had, we had the kids, we had a family, and the head of the household is not here anymore. Does that mean I have no purpose here anymore? No, I still have a purpose, I still have a mission, and now I have to tap into myself. You know, I had to surrender my idea of what I thought my life should be and give God and give my children the

opportunity for a happy life. Give God my life so that now my life is what the divine wants for me, and so I flow with the river. I'm not holding onto the rocks, I'm not grasping onto things that you know you have to let go of. It is literally, the I'm gonna say again, the ultimate test of surrendering. You have to surrender because at the end of the day, as much control as we think we have, we do

not and it's actually very powerful to surrender. We think that it's a weakness, but it's so much power in letting go and flowing with the river because life is gonna do what it's gonna do, and we are all gonna get chin checked by life one way or another. So I might as well focus on my enlightenment and

roll with the river and not fight with the rocks. Wow, I mean, you know, hearing that from you, I hope that people are going to replay that themselves again and again and again because everything you just said and the fact that you're saying it in what you've experienced, that's what gives it so much power. Right, these are not just words, and these are not just ideas. It's not just a concept. It's like you're actually having to apply

this in your daily life. Tell us about learn What is it that we didn't know about Nipsy and you and the connection you add? What is it that we didn't see that we didn't know that that people may not be aware of that you shared, that you learned from each other, that you grew from each other. What were the things you taught him and he taught you that made this so powerful? And you know, made this incredible unit that has continued to propel you to greater heights.

You know. I always say that, like we were very avid readers, and so when we moved in together and put our books together, you can really see whose books were so like, he was very very he was an intellectual, and I always say he was like a spiritual intellectual and I was a spiritual emotional person. So all my books were like on hard and you know, and so

to me it really represented masculine and feminine energy. I think something that people don't know is that we were always talking about how we could have a better relationship with God individually and our purpose and our missions in life, and you know who how we just wanted to be on purpose as individuals, and how we just helped each other on our own individual missions, and that our relationship was actually more spiritual than it was anything, and that

we bonded on our you know, quest for the truth. That's I mean, what I love about hearing that is that anyone who is in a relationship right now or wants to be in a relationship is listening to us. That feels like such a great north star. Like that feels like such a beautiful point to connect. And it sounds so normal for you because that's what you both were, like you just described, but that's not very normal, as

we both know, Like, that's not what relationships are based on. Like, that's not why we come together, it's not what we think about. It's not really what we put in the center. But that center feels so strong. Sorry, were you about to say something, Lauren? Didn't. I didn't want to cut you off. We started and we weren't perfect, and we definitely had our you know, it was a lot of human moments. But I think in relationship it's really important in the beginning if you set an attention what is

what is our union? How is our union going to participate with everyone else? How are we going to contribute? How does our union contribute to people outside of us? Not just us, you know, not between you know, Oh you love me, give me pleasure. It has to be deeper than that, or it kind of fades away. So I think we're very intentional on like how us together,

how does that contribute to our community? Yeah, and I think that community part is also again such a powerful point that it doesn't just stop at your quest for the truth it's what you both do in service to your community, and that's a space that you continue to

be active in. Both you were both active in, Like that's such a big priority for you, and I think that that's another great relationship connection that you've spoken about there there is like if your relationship is based around the quest for the truth, not just pleasure, but then your relationship is based around community service and giving back, these are the things that really bring you close to someone that you that you deeply love and you share together.

You spoke a bit about the masculine and feminine energy there, and I loved how you described yourself as the spiritual emotional and him as the spiritual intellectual. That's that's a really cool way of looking at it. When when you tell us a bit about what you've learned about the masculine and feminine energy that has helped you that you think our listeners may find an introduction if they're not

as aware of those ideas. What if some of the things that you've taken away that you think it really helped you, you know, just being aware that we are all masculine and feminine energy. You know, you think it's just one way or the other, but that we have we're all intertwined, and we have that in us. I sometimes operate out of my masculine more than my feminine, you know, especially just I think I do more than anything, and and starting to open myself up to my feminine

energy more and more, I've learned that. I think that was my That's my biggest takeaway really from that is that it is all in all of us, it's not one of the other, and that it is so okay to nurture both sides at the same time, or some are one side, you might nurture more than the other, and that's okay. I just you know, it's like the best of both worlds. Yeah, no, I agree with that. And I knowing which one to use when and knowing

which one to nourishes such an important decision. And whereas if you just base it on gender and you say, well, I'm only feminine or masculine, whatever it may be, you almost miss out on recognizing that there are powers in both that are accessible to all of us all the time.

I know for a fact, I remember meeting someone a few years ago, and I don't know if I ever told you, this, but I met someone a few years ago, and I don't really connect with him that much anymore either, But he said to me, he said, he goes, Jay, you are you are like completely balanced in your masculine and feminine. And I was, like I did when I first heard that. It was a while ago. I was, I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or as a disc and so but yeah, yeah, no,

I learned that afterwards. You know, It's like my masculine ego got in the way of like, what are you trying to say? And it's creativity and intuition, and as spiritual beings, we just you know, yeah, you want to be tapped into that intuition and that create I'm glad you raised that actually that you know, feminine energy. Often we don't understand the depth of it, but creativity, intuition, connection, synergy, like all of this comes from that. And so that's

a really great reminder. I heard you, Lauren in an interview. You mentioned that you almost made a decision to not go back to acting anymore, and I wanted to know more about that, because obviously you have gone back and you have moved forward, but there was a point where obviously that that required an act of bravery. Can you tell us what was it that was stopping you and

then what helped you move back in? What was stopping me was that, you know, life change, and so my perspective on life change, and you know, I my field, the audition process and the rejection and the politics of you know what came with what I do did not align with what I was seeking anymore. I didn't want to have to politic I didn't want to have to, you know, do things. I felt more in alignment with my truth and I just wanted to be myself fully.

If I could participate in a project wholly, I would do it. But if I could not, I didn't want to be fake and not give of myself in a real way. And so I was like, you know, I don't really want to run that race anymore. And so a project or without Remorse came and I was like, I'm not sure. I don't want to do this little you know what felt like a hamster wheel for me. I didn't like the idea of competition and going against I didn't like that, and so I was like, I

don't know if I want to do that anymore. And so Michael was like look, just read the script. And so I read the script, and what drew me to was that I could participate authentically, like I can genuinely play this role, because I really resonated with the fact that she passes and he has all these visions of her and that she's still communicating with him, just not physically but spiritually. And that's exactly where I, you know, where I felt I was at the time, and so

it was just perfect. It was in alignment with a story I wanted to tell. I could really give my truth to this and it didn't have that, it didn't have a negative energy on it. It felt it felt like so and I want to say easy, because it wasn't easy, but it felt like it was just pretty much in alignment, you know, such a flow and so and not that I'm expecting everything to be easy, but I didn't want a certain energy on it, and this had a really good energy on it, and I trusted

it and went back. Yeah, And I really felt that when me and Radie watched the movie together that we really felt that too, that you know, looking at it from that perspective of of knowing you and speaking to you about it, and then watching the movie and just being like wow, like you know, how how must have

that been for Loren to play that role. But but then to hear you say what you're saying to me now, I'm just like wow, like that that's therapeutic, it's healing, it's it's powerful because you're you're transferring that pain into purpose, right, You're like bringing it through and you're letting it flow. And that that's so powerful that you're able to transform your pain in this way, and that feels like a massively worthy reason to go back to anything and how

you're selecting it. And I love what you said there. I think you know, I just I like pointing out things that sometimes we miss. You said, I'm not expecting it to be easy, but I want it to be an alignment. And I think that is such a powerful lesson for all of us that if we're looking for ease, chances are we don't want to do anything because nothing's easy. But yeah, but it's like that alignment. And you've devoted time in helping other people who've lost their loved ones

through gun violence. Can you walk us through how this has been helping you in your healing journey and why it's important for people to help even when we feel like we've lost because I think what often happen is when we feel like we've gone through something, we most often don't feel like we're in a position to help. But when you've actually going out done that, can you tell us how that has actually helped healing or support?

What have you learned from that? You know? I think personally that service is our purpose and that we do it in different ways. I went to New York and I worked with an organization called Life Camp where they helped, you know, victims of gun violence and they try to stop gun violence. And a woman by the name of Erica, who was amazing runs this organization. It made it also made I saw. It also made me not feel so alone and that how close we are as humans and

how connected we are. And we feel like our individual stories are the things that make us so separate, but it's actually a thing that really connects us, and that as I was talking to these young women and these single mothers that were younger than me, I got so much strength from them because so much so many times we think what we go through was just us and how did this happen to me? And It's not the way to think like that. It's like, who am I? Why not me? Why is this not happening to me?

It's happening all around the world. How can I be of service? How can my story help someone else through their stories? So many times I read a book or listen to someone's testimony and they have no idea how encouraging that is for me at that time, And so I just want my I don't want to have I don't want to have my pain in vain. I would like to give my pain some purpose and transmute the pain into purpose. And if I could help or encourage or motivate or pull through, I will sign up for

that every day, all the time. That's beautiful. I'm so glad you said that, because again, it just comes back to the same thing that we don't want people. I think it's those times when you feel you have nothing to give. Is when by giving you have so much to gain. Right. It's like when you feel you have nothing to give, but but in that moment when you choose to give, when you actually feel like you have nothing to give, you get so much back from it. And I feel like if you sposed to give, right,

isn't that. Isn't that when you're supposed to give when you feel like, you know, when you're really depressed, when you're really they say, when you're really down, do go do something for someone else. Step outside of yourself and go do something for someone else. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, And I think if if we can all find daily, weekly, monthly ways of doing that by working with organizations that are important to us. And I think this is one

of the things that I've noticed too as well. When we look around in the world, there's so much pain, and there's so much stress and pressure, and it's overwhelming. But if you just go and do one tiny act of service in your local area and your local community, you don't have to go and change the world. You don't have to go and like raise lots of money or do this like big thing. You can do this

really small thing every week. And not only is that going to improve the world, of course, it's improving the world, it's going to change someone's life. It's going to change yours too, And I think we underestimate what it feels like to change one person's life. And I always think about, like, if you add the option of when we're like Oh, but that only helps three people. If you think about those three people and their life experience, I'm sure you

would a thousand percent shoes to change their experience. And I think we we've got lost this. We've got lost in this world now of like numbers and millions of dollars and big change, and we forget that the community is changed, Like that is the world? Does that make sense? It's right, it's hot, it's right where you stare, you know, I don't think it's the small things that you go up to a big thing. And the big thing is service, you know, like it's integrity, like are you gonna do

this when no one is watching? Absolutely? You know, am I gonna make it? It's also like I'm very intentional on my day. So if I know I'm gonna be working around a lot of people, my intention is that you know, I represent God, that I don't give someone, I don't put my stuff on someone else, that I bring good energy to a set that you know, if someone's having a hard day, I don't have to try to make them better, but I can just represent, you know,

some goodness you know, and some truth. And so I think it's important also to set intentions when you're around a lot of people. I remember you telling me that when you're on set, you like choose your own playlist to make sure the energy is right and the vibes right, and like, you know, I think that I get on that and that trailer and I play my little Jazz or my self care playlists for my instanse sage. I pray I just put myself in a space because I

don't want to be influenced by my environment. I want the environment to be influenced by me. Absolutely, well said, Well said Lauren. I want to hear about We spoke about this earlier briefly, but I want to dive into it being a mother, you know, and we spoke about Cameron Cross, who you know, I've enjoyed spending the time

that I have with them. Tell us about what you've been trying to share with them, what lessons, what guidance you've been trying to pass on to them, but also what have you learned from both of them in your own life too, Like what have you taken from them? Where have they taught you? Because I know they have. I think I've learned from them more than they'll ever be able to learn from me. They're really they're really resilient and like unc they love me regardless of what

I see in myself sometimes and when I'm down. You know, Cameron heart has a really big heart. And when I was his age, I closed my heart up because there was a lot of trauma around me and I didn't I used to think that vulnerability was weakness. And I realized how easy it is for him to be vulnerable, and how easy it is for him to share his heart and his feelings, and how strong and brave that is. And so a lot of times I'll be in a situation and I would even say, like what would Cam do?

Because it's intention so pure and heartfelt, and his compassion, you know, and crosses very and I learned from him his freedom of being himself, total freedom. He is fearless. He's like, I got this. If I don't get got it right now, I'm gonna get it. You know. I didn't have siblings growing up, so watching siblings that love is like, h I hope if I ever come back that I get to have a sibling that I grew

up in the house with, because it's beautiful. It's like they're a part of each other in a way, and I personally liked in stealing my kids integrity, honor, honesty. You know you're getting big trouble for lying in this household and acceptance of yourself fully. You know, I've been really big on like you know, Cam had a test today he was really nervous about and I'm like, look, if you don't ace the test, you don't ace the test. Did you try your best? Yes? Did we study? Yes?

You don't have to ace it. You have to show up and show out. And that's it. The result of that, it's in the universe. And sometimes we don't get the result of our you know, actions right away. So just make sure you put your best foot forward. And just I teach them a lot about God and how there's a karma check book, so just to make sure you're

always putting good pennies in your karma bank. And I'm always like you, there's always an opportunity you have good karma, so make sure you pay attention to all your opportunities around.

I love what you mentioned there one thing around the idea of you don't always get the reward for the hard work and that activity in that moment, and I think that is such a powerful thing to teach a young person because we always think, like, for example, I study for this test, but I didn't get the results, so that study was useless, and we don't realize that that study maybe really powerful, like five ten years down the line, when you remember that one piece of insight

and it actually gets a win, And that is such a powerful, powerful thing to teach someone that the immediate result is not how powerful that input was, Like, the immediate result is not how powerful your effort was in that situation. You're going to get to see that for many, many years, not at all. I'm just I'm just listening.

I'm just trying to listen to you really attentively, because I feel like there's so many things that you've worked on and you've practiced that have become so normal for you. And when I'm listening to I'm like, Wow, that's actually really profound, Like that's a really powerful point. And the fact that you're thinking about teaching that to your kids, like it's you're not just saying, oh, it doesn't matter

if you don't use the test. What you're actually saying is it doesn't matter if you used the test, because what you learned is going to help you at some point. And I want you to see that. I want you to recognize that you studied and that's going to support you in more ways than this test. This test is, this test is not the proof that you studied. And now, yeah, and that is the that's it. Yeah, Yeah, that's really beautiful. I love hearing that. And tell tell us about as

you continue to move on. Now, what are the things Lauren now at this stage in your life? You know, you've done so much service, You've worked for the community, you're embedded you, you're supporting all those people are supporting you. What are the things that excite you now? Like? Where is it? Where are you now? What brings joy to Lauren? Now? I really like creating content that I feel is inspirational

or motivation. Motivation that really excites me. I've been working on a couple lines with Puma with clothes and just intention behind that, Like I don't want to just put out the clothes. What is it? What are the clothes saying? How are the clothes going to make someone feel? What intention are you putting behind the clothes? And you know, honestly, really simple things like Sundays, I love doing you know, devotional service on Sundays and learning more about that and

applying that. But also just like chilling and watching TV with my kids. You know, like I used to think it was these massive things that brought me joy, and so I would always seek those really big things. And really it's like a really comfortable room with the kids and they're listening to them laugh or listening to them play together, and you know, clean socks and fresh sheets like those things bring me big joy. And you know, hanging with friends and listening to music, just those things

and creating things that come from my heart. Definitely. Yeah, big shout out to your I say Puma back in England, but I know it's Puma out here. We say Puma really yeah, we see every time I say Puma, I just feel so it just I'm like wow, like that, so it's so for my mind. It's crazy, but yeah, we call it Puma back in England. But but Puma. Yeah, the forever stronger line me and rather a big rather a big fans. And it's always nice to wear something

that means something and that represents something for you. And yeah, I love that you're bringing that into fashion and places like that to have that meaningfulness and that presence and that power. And you know, one thing I remember we spoke about which I really appreciate from you, and you even mentioned it today where you're like, I wanted to let go of that competition in the industry and that comparison. Walk us through how you've worked through that, because this

isn't something that only you experience. It's actually what's been created by most industries where people are put against each other, people are made to compete for things. You're made to believe there's only one spot, there's only one thing, and if you get it, then you're losing and you're winning. How have you worked through that personally? How have you been trying to apply wisdom around that area of your life,

around comparison and competition that I think we all struggle with. Yeah, you know, I remember hearing something Reverend Michael said about being in the spirit of celebration. So when something really good happens to someone else celebrating, because when you're in that spirit of celebration, you're just giving out messages to the universe that you like to celebrate, So then the universe gives you things to celebrate. So I celebrate everyone's wins.

You know, I've never I've never really been in envious. I never really carry that energy, even young. So that's why it always feels funny when it's around me. So like, I celebrate everyone's wins because I know that that that is that's mine too. It's just the energy of celebration and genuinely knowing that there's enough to go around. That we live in an abundant universe. So just because someone is eating doesn't mean that I don't have food on the way. Doesn't mean I can't eat either. It's just

that there's an abundance of it all. So I just celebrate everyone's you know, wins, and you know, congratulate and send really good energy out to especially you know, women and black women like myself that are doing this is not easy. I just am like a I love women, So I'm like a woman like I love women winning,

and I just sit in the spirit of abundance and celebration. Yeah, I think when we start realizing that actually, when people in our space win, the space wins, and so it's not like you know, it's when you make it about one versus one, it can feel like a loss. But when you see it as a community, an industry, a space within an industry. When it's winning, that means everyone's winning.

I always think about it like, you know, if you look at it through house prices, it's like if someone on your street sells the house for a lot of money, everyone's prices just went up, Like everyone on that street just benefited. But you can look at that and be like, oh, but they just made loads of money and so no one's gonna buy my house. But it's like, actually, that's not true. The whole value of the whole street just increased.

Right in that competition. You know, mind frame, you're just blocking all the beautiful things God has for you, you know, if you know, you just That's why you're supposed to celebrate people when they succeeded at something or accomplish something, because you just open your world for more to celebrate. So I'm not blocking my blessings. I like all my blessings,

so I love everyone's blessings absolutely. I love that learn We end every Own Purpose episode with the final five, So these questions have to be answered with one word or one sentence maximum, So you can have one sentence. Let's do Lauren London. These are your final five. Question Number one, what is the best advice you've ever received? What you give out to the world? You key, Oh, I like that. I like that. That's good. We've never

had that. I like that. That's good advice. What is the worst advice you've ever received or the worst thing anyone's ever said to you? Someone making someone like your possession, like you have to keep them, or don't do this, or you're gonna lose them. That's really bad advice. Yes, good, good, good advice on the bad advice? All right? Question number three, what how would you define your current purpose in life?

Transmuting pain into purpose? Beautiful? I love that. Question number four, what is something that you used to value that you don't value anymore? Close? I love that. I love it designers, clothes and stuff. Love appreciate them, but I don't all right. Fifth and final question, If you could make one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be. I feel like there will be stricter punishment

and longer harsher punishment on child abusers. Wow, So hopefully to hopefully limit people from doing it to Yeah, And are the punishment of people that harm children would be you know. I know it's not so spiritual at me, but it'd be harsh, harsh, harsh harsh. Yeah, thank you, Lauren. Lauren, is there anything that I haven't asked you but it's in your heart, on your mind, and your soul that you want to share with our own purpose community today?

You've been so generous and kind with your time. Me and RADI adore you. This has been such a powerful conversation. Yeah. Is there anything that's on your heart, on mind or soul that you want to share that I haven't. I feel like you've asked me really good questions and really questions. I just you know, I'm just honored that I anyone would want to listen to me for real. So I'm

just grateful to me here. Lauren. We love you. Everyone who's been listening or watching, make sure that you tag Lauren and I on Instagram, on Twitter, wherever you're using social media, because I love seeing and I love my guest to see what resonated with you, what connected with you. I love bringing you into the conversation so that we can notice what really left a mark on you and impacted you. So make sure you tag us both on Instagram and Twitter. Lauren, I want to thank you from

the bottom of my heart for your time. I can't wait to see you again in this new year. Give Cam and Cross a big hug from me and we look forward to seeing you very soon. Thank you so much, thank you. Please give my hug to Ron will Well. Thanks Lauren, Bye guys. By N