If your happiness depends on the actions of others, you know, you're at mercy of things that you can't control. Yeah, I'm not even just saying this. I literally think I manifested this, Like it's the after I saw you at Simmy and Hayes's house. So that was a couple months ago. And then a few weeks ago, my I was talking
to my social media go randomly. We were just talking about a bunch of stuff and just kind of what I would love to represent, just talking about a new chapter for me and whatever, and I was she was like, who would you really want to like talk to or whatever? And I was like, it would be so cool to talk to Jay and she was like that would be really cool. And then we kind of just that was kind of the thought and whatever, and then you hit me and I was like, no, frickin' way, he's hitting
me right now. So I was like, absolutely, this is like perfect, It's the universe just putting it in perfect timing, because that makes me.
So happy because it was exactly the opposite way. So I've for a long time had people that I'd love to sit down with, and every time I saw you do something with mental Health and Vogue or any of the segments that you ever did. I was just like, she's amazing, Like, you know, it's incredible to the way you were talking about it. When you'd post about it, I'd be like, Oh, this is incredible, like to see
you speaking so openly about it, vulnerably about it. And so I've always wanted to do this and then, but we've never really crossed paths, and so I'm always just a bit like, and I don't like asking friends of friends when I haven't met someone. And so I was like that day, i had to like pluck up the current, but I'm just going to ask for myself, no, because it's easier when I asked her, and I know Christy, so yeah, yeah. But I was like, it's nicer when
there's I told my team too. I was like, it's so much nicer when there's like a personal connection and someone really feels comfortable rather than it's like a pr No.
It was.
It was so perfect. Like when I think back to it, I'm like, that was me just trusting the universe and not pushing for anything. And I knew it was going to kind of happen when I was supposed to do and it literally Yeah you.
Felt it too, Yeah I did.
Yeah, And I hope that there is the set of spending.
More time to you Jenny too.
I would love that because, like I think, also, I don't know, like I admire people like you. I admire like, you know, the the Michael Poland's and Michael Singers and whim Hoffs of the world. And I feel like you've fin that category for me of just people that are because you know, I know a little bit about your story. I'd like to actually know more, which would be really cool to actually, I know we're obviously not here for that exactly, but for me just personally, like, i'd love
to know more of your story. I know that you've had quite the experiences, and I think that's so cool. I'm like so intrigued by people with just that amount of curiosity and like determination, determination and patience, Like that takes so much patience to be like you or like any of those people that I just listed. It's so cool to me, and I just I wish I wish
for myself, but I'm working on it, i am. It's just you know that that level of like I said, patience and determination is like it's a gift like that is like a really really amazing gift, and like I said, like I'm just working on it all the time, and that's my goal in life.
I guess. Well, I think I feel the same way about you again that and by the way, I love all those people you just mentioned too, Yeah, so feel very honored to be put into that group of people. And we've had Whim on the podcast before too, so
he's been a guest. But with you, I feel the same way back when it's like when you see someone who is so curious, who could get away with not worrying about these things if you don't want to, but then still being courageous enough to talk about these things, and then using your platform as a space to open up these dialogues, that is as if not more important. As well as doing the work and doing the path. Yeah,
I mean I can see you doing the way. It's fun watching you do the work and figuring it out.
I love working on myself, like it is actually like a passion of mine and like I just I find so much comfort and joy and like actually finding where I think I could better myself and being like even if it's physical, like physical as in like my physical health or working out or I just started doing speaking of whim Hoff, I just started doing like cold plunges and ice baths and like even if I don't have the time to go outside, I just got a cold plunge. I did it right before I got here. It's the
best thing ever. It's also so again, it takes so much mental. The whole thing of it is all mental. So I don't know, just stuff like that I really love. So I'm always I'm always trying to just be the best version of me, and so I just love that it like actually makes me feel really good. I love self care and I just love stuff like that. So it's been really cool. But it's cool for you to say that you enjoy seeing that from me, because there's always been kind of this weird part of it for
me where I'm like, is this a pity party? Because I don't want it to be like. I want this to feel very positive. I want to connect with people, and I guess that's that is my goal there is to be like, there actually is this side of me that you might may not know of, But the goal here is to connect and also not feel like I'm throwing some pity party for myself, because I want this to be a learning experience for everyone. I want this
to be really positive and will really well received. I want you to look at it and actually have a
positive feeling towards it. So I don't know, you'll find like if I you know, when I do kind of post about something or when I want to talk about something, I'm usually sharing a tip or like sharing kind of like a little technique, even if it's something so simple as like walking outside, taking a few de breaths and journaling, Like, yeah, it's just that kind of stuff that I really like to share because I feel like I want to be helpful, Yeah, more than anything.
Absolutely, And that's how that's at least how I see it. Yeah, I see it not not completely, not as a pity party at all, but so much more as just hey, here's a reminder, yeah, something that I did, And yeah, I feel like that positivity shines through too in the way you do it, so at least if that helps whatever that's worth from the outside, it definitely comes across that way.
Cool.
And this is easily been the warmest introduction to a conversation I've ever experiencing my entire.
Life going to say it was actually was actually really nervous coming in here because this means so much to me, Like, and I'm serious, because you know, I've done a lot of interviews in my life and when when thinking about this one or thinking about that I even wanted to do something like this, it just it means a lot to me, and so it made me a little nervous, and I was like, I just want to get this right. This isn't like you know, me going out and promoting
something or talking about something. This is, you know, something very real that we all experience, which is just you know, ourselves and our well being and just everything.
So yeah, and this is this is a you know for me genuinely, and I really do mean this, like the podcast has been a great excuse or really from my side and intention to get to know people, and I really admire and so for me, it's been a great way of building new friendships and relationships because if you can sit and talk to someone and really get along with each other, you're like, oh, we should do this more often.
So well I'm honored.
Yeah, So for me, it's definitely been that and to me, you know you saying that, and you know taking it as intentionally as you it's you know, for me, it's as important. I always share this before we start recording usually, but we just flowed. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back
every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now it's very rare that I get to sit down with someone that I have admired for a very long time from Afar, someone that I believe has inspired me through the sharing of their story, someone who speaks so vulnerably and openly about the things that I most care about mental health, purpose, the journey of life, and discovery and curiosity. And what I want to share about this person is when I
bumped into them at a mutual friends' birthday party. And I just want to give a big, big shout out to Sam and Hayes because it wouldn't happen without them. I love you, Simy and Aes. You've been amazing guests on the podcast before as well. I would have bumped into this individual and had this opportunity to reach out to them, and as soon as I reached out, this has been the most flowing conversation and connection that it possibly had on the podcast, to be honest, So I
just want to put that out. I'm speaking about the one only someone who needs no introduction, but successful business founder, international supermodel, a founder of the incredibly successful tequila brand eight one eight, and star on the Hulus The Kardashians, which premier is in second season on September twenty second. The one and Only Kendall Jenna Kendell, thank you so much for doing this.
For having me. That was a wonderful introduction.
Oh well, it's it's honestly, in such an honor getting to know someone who it's very rare that I find someone who functions with very similar values in a personal
connection sense. So when I reached out to you, I really meant everything I said, and I could have written you an essay, but I was like, let's spare the details and then to get your response and then for us to be here within a couple of weeks of connecting and even your message this morning, I just want people to know I was like the text you said
me this morning, I was like, this never happens. I was amazing, And I was like and I was literally going to do the same thing, and so to me, I was like, this is very rare, and so I love the synergy and the flow that we're experiencing. And me too, I'm excited to get it now.
It's funny because I I called Hayes before the other day and I was just like, oh my god, I'm going on your friend's show and whatever, and she was like, he's the best. It's gonna You're just going to flow right into it. He's so easy to talk to. And that's literally what happened. And like I told you, I just feel like I manifested this moment for both of us and for this just this whole experience. And so I am really happy to be here and I'm honestly honored.
Like I said, I admire you, and I there's so many people like you that I admire. So I think sitting down here with you is just so cool for me and I get to talk about fun things with you.
Amazing first of many, and I wanted to start with because I always liked to start with just things that I've seen more recently. A couple of days ago, I think you posted a beautiful picture of you hugging your horse, and you were like, you know, like snuggle time or something like that, and I was just like, when when did horses become a part of your life? And how did you get so close to them?
I think I've spent many lifetimes with horses. I think this is very one of many lifetime that I've had. I grew up in a horse community, so where we grew up horses everywhere, more trails than there were homes, really, and so I was always around horses and I just was deeply in love with them. And I have no explanation, and that's why I say I feel like in past lives, I have just been around horses. Yeah, So since I was a really young kid, loved them and continue to
love them my whole life. They're just the best. They're the most majestic and gorgeous and spiritual. They feel everything. I just like it's such an honor to be in their presence and to be able to do what I can do with my horse. I find so magical that I can stand in her stall with her and just like vibe out with her. I like sometimes come to like a little get a little tear eyed when I'm standing in my stall with her because I'm like, this is so cool that you allow me to do this
and we have this connection without any words. It's just the best thing ever. So I love them.
Yeah, that's so special. I have a different tear eyed story with horses, but I'll tell you the short version. So when I proposed to my wife, I can't wait to introduce you to do. When I proposed to her, which was eight years ago or something like that, when I proposed to her, I organized a very what I would consider like a very a very Hollywood proposal. It was it was too over the top, and I would do it totally different today with all everything I've learned. But yeah,
it happens. It happens. And so we were walking by the Thames in London, which is where we were both born and raised, and this a cappella group jumps out and they're singing Bruno Mars and then like they give her a bouquet of flowers, and then I get on
one knee. I propose we have dinner by the river, and then we walk around the corner and there's a horse room and carriage to take us around, to take us around London, and so we're on this carriage, we have this beautiful, you know, path through London, and then we get into the train to get back home to her parents to tell them, and they already knew. She's got hives all over her face.
And she's allergic to and I found out that day I proposed to her.
I was like, all right, So then she was like she had tears And when we got back, our parents were like, what did you do to her?
At least got to enjoy the moment.
Yeah, But I no, I love horses the same way you do. Like I used to go to India a lot when I was a kid, and that's where I first learned to be with horses.
And I mean they're so therapeutic.
Absolutely, Yeah, there's a.
Reason there's a coine therapy.
It's the best exactly. Yeah.
They make me. They make me when I'm with her. I have a few, but I'm most mostly with one of my horses right now because her name is Delandra. I didn't name her. She came with her name, but I call her Dylan or dyl. I love her so much, But when I'm with her, I genuinely I speak of like I spoke about how I've just loved horses my whole life. I feel like a kid around her, Like I feel like my twelve year old self that would get up every morning throughout the entire summer at eight
am to go just be at my trainer's facility. And I would stay there from eight am to eight pm. I'd ride all her horses, I'd groom all her horses. I would just sit in the stalls with all the horses.
Like it.
Just anytime I'm with her, I just have that sense of like being a child again. And it's a really really good feeling.
Yeah, animals have that special ability, don't they like whichever animal you're attracted to. And yeah, I never thought I would, but when I lived as a monk. The animal that's revered in india's cows. And you would never think of cows being like majestic or you know, in that way, especially when you're not in India. But the cows in India have these like lotus like eyes, Like the eyes are just like a stunning Yeah, and they's so special
and there's such gentle animals yea. And recently Ruddy and I went trekking with gorillas in Rwanda and gorillas are the we have to go.
That sounds unreal.
It was unbelievable, and the animal that's revered in Rwanda. So whenever they have a new gorilla that's born, they have a naming ceremony with the community. It's so beautiful. But and then I heard somewhere that you your first job was you were a dog walker, and so I was taking, like, do you have any lessons or anything you learned by being a dog walker? I think first jobs are so interesting.
Yeah, No, I mean I was always a super disciplined child, like meaning to my like I just loved I would put myself to bed at seven PM, be like my mom would be like playing with me and my little sister and be like, mom, it's seven I gotta go to sleep, like it's time for my bedtime. She'd be like, are you okay? And so I was always that kid, And so I think I just was always really eager to like work. I don't know why. I just like wanted to always have something to do, something that I
felt passionate about that I really enjoyed. And so yeah, when I was young, I put some flyers around our community and said I would walk dogs and I ended up getting people that would get let me have their dog for a few hours and take it for a walk.
So I loved animals and I liked having something to do, so I spent I was a kid that liked to be by myself with animals, So like, I think that that was a cool, very fitting thing for me because I got to be by myself walking, but then also experience all these little dogs with me.
Yeah, I wish I did that. I used to deliver newspapers. So that was my first job and it's not as glamorous in life London because it's raining.
Was that what you were desiring or was that and wanted to make some money just like I need it.
I was like I need to make some money. Yeah, and so I was like, I'm going to start doing this and you don't get to you know, you'd see it in the movies where the paperboy just like chucks the paper at the door, but I'd like to actually go and put it inside. So my only interaction with dogs is they were on the inside grabbing the paper, right, and so yeah, barking, yeah and stuff. But I always love knowing about people's first jobs and how things started.
For them because of you know obviously where you are today. But what do you think it was in those early years where you just said you were very disciplined, Like it sounds like you were you were aware of certain habits that you built. Then what were some of the things that you feel confident about or how how did you look for validation in those early years and where did it come from for you?
I mean, it's interesting. So Kylie and my little sister, she was always the social butterfly. I was always I just liked being to myself. I don't know if that's the scorpio in me, so it just came naturally or whatever I had. I had a group of friends who I loved, but I just I like convividly remember just on the weekends, not running to go be with my friends all the time during the summer I was with them, but on the weekends in between school, I would I
was really just by myself. I would love to like hang out in my room. I like was kind of a nerd. I loved video games and like sitting on the computer and playing sims all day. Like I just kind of liked being to myself and then all day long during the summer was with my horses, and yeah, I don't know, I just it just brought me joy. I don't think I have, like, you know, a super
long explanation for that. It was so simple for me as a kid, Like it was just as simple as that made me happy, and that's just what I wanted, and it explains I guess a lot of me now. I went through like a phase where I felt like I had to be around people. I think I live a very social life and my job is very social, so I was, you know, kind of conditioned to want to be around people a lot. And then as you know, the pandemic came around, You're not around as many people anymore.
Now I'm just re enjoying being by myself, which is really cool. Yeah, and I had the most I had the best day on Sunday, all by myself. I got up, I went and rode my horses. I like, took my niece to ride her pony, just me and her was so nice. Brought her back home, went to my house, got in my cold plunge, went in my pool, laid out journals, like I was having the best day, and I was just pretty much all by myself. So I enjoy it so much.
I love that. I'm sure that's so refreshing for people to hear too, because I feel like people may from the outside perceive a life which obviously, like you said, for work, it's busy, and it's so true, and of course you have wonderful friends, but to know that you can feel comfortable in your own company and that's been a habit that you've developed.
I crave simple things, like I love my life and I love my job, and I feel so fortunate that I have been placed here that for some reason, I was given this life, Like I feel immensely grateful for that, and I have had so much fun, and I like think back on just the experience that I've had, the experiences that I've had this far, and it's like it's like a shocking to me. I'm like, this is so frickin' cool that I live this life. But at the end of the day, like when I am home and when
I'm alone, like I crave the simple things. I love a simple day. I love just like a simple routine and being to myself and being around the people that I love, my small core crew.
So yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah, I mean that's I think that's what we're all striving for, is right, that passion in our career is and our work and then in simplicity at home. Hey everyone, it's Jay Schatty and I'm throwed to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can see my on Purpose podcast live and in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top
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forward slash jay. What would you say? I was thinking about this, and I've watched so many of you interviews and read so much too, But what would you say for you as being one of your proudest moments or greatest achievements or something that you really feel like and internally, I mean, like for the basis of our conversation, like something that really brings you joy internally when you think about it or when you had it.
Like I said, I look back and the things that I've accomplished, just even my job, Like I think I really at one point when I was younger, decided I want to be a model and this is what I want to do, and the fact that I executed because we talked about that determination like I really was. I was fourteen years old when I kind of made that decision and was like, this is what I want to do. And I went to my mom and I was like,
please help me do this. And I didn't stop until I was twenty four that I was like, Okay, I think I need to take it back a notch, which we can also get into because that's a very kind of dramatic story, but like I just knew, and I think I'm proud of myself for or being that kid and being determined to do that and then executing and doing it to the level that I had done it
and that I guess I still do. But I also am proud of, I think more so the self work that I've done within that process, because there was a long period of time, i'd say the core five years of it, that I was extremely overworked, not my happiest, not because I wasn't doing what I loved, but just because I was overwhelmed and I felt like I was saying yes to everything because I felt really, really grateful and really honored to be in the position that I
was in. So I was always saying yes, and it just took a lot out of me to the point where I just wasn't happy anymore. And so I had to set those boundaries for myself. When I was about twenty three, twenty four, I'd say, like, what a year before the pandemic, So yeah, I was probably twenty three.
I really set boundaries for myself, and I was like, I want to continue to do this because this is what I love, but I need to start saying no when I can and prioritizing me and prioritizing, like, you know, my happiness and my well being. And it has done wonders for me, like I feel like I can show up better for myself and I can show up a better person for the people that get to be around me that day, and you know that I work with on that day. So yeah, yeah, so that's what I'm
proud of you. That's amazing.
I was I won't say I was hoping for that, because I'm always open to wherever anyone's life experience goes. But there's a part of me that loves hearing that, Like, I really appreciate hearing that, because when you've achieved so many incredible things in your career, which you have to then say, well, this is the part, like knowing how to navigate it or making the right choices at the right time.
Healthy balance, the healthy balance, it's so important. It's important for all of us, like we have to this is what we're prioritizing, you know.
Yeah, so how did you find the courage to do that? The twenty three Marc as you're saying, you're in a competitive industry. As you said, it was overworking, it's fast paced. I'm guessing there's comparison in that industry. There's competition in that industry. It's not an easy space to be. You're you know, you're in the top zero point zero one
percent in your industry. So it's hard. And the reason I asked this is because I work with so many people in this space and to have the courage to say no, I know that if I sought this out, then all of this is going to be just fine.
That actually takes more courage than we recognize. We realize that when you have nothing, then there's nothing to lose, you can actually have a lot of courage, right, But when you have everything and there's everything to lose, and a lot of the time, at least what I've heard in town is you know older managers and agents and I'm not saying you have any of this, but people that I know will be told, well, hey, if you don't do this, like you'll be forgotten next year, or
you know your your career is only going to last another six months. How did you have that courage to say no, no, no, I need to do this, Like where did that come from?
And I think that it's interesting, like I've never thought about it that way. To be completely honest with you, I just knew that if I had gone any further, that I was going to lose myself. I was at that very I was on the teeter totter edge of that point, where had I gone any further, I was probably not going to be great. It was so important to me to feel good that I just knew that
it was something that I had to do. And I can't say, like, you're absolutely right, like there were so many people around me that had told me not to say no and or told me yeah, told me not
to say no, told me not to stop. I fought my way out of it a little bit because there were people that had worked for me that you know, didn't want me to stop because it might have benefited them, of course, but I got to that point and I just knew I had to do it, and I just I don't know, I don't know how to explain it.
I guess it was just such an unbelievable sensation that I had where I knew that if I do this, I'm going to be better for everyone, and I'm going to be better for myself, which means I'm going to be better for the people around me. And I have to do this, and so it wasn't really I want to be able to live with happiness, God forbid any
of this ever went away. And I think that that was a big moment for me of being like, I'm gonna be okay if I don't get this job tomorrow, and I'm gonna be okay if I don't get that job in a month, if I have to take this time to do whatever things will come. Everything's going to work out the way it's supposed to do.
And I had to trust that well to me from the outside, And it's beautiful that you didn't see it in yourself. I al respects it even more wonderful. But the idea that to me from the outside, that's a lot of courage. Yeah. I think it takes a lot
of courage. It takes a lot of vulnerability and openness, and it takes courage every level, whether someone's thinking about quitting their job to do something they love, or whether someone's trying to relocate their family and doesn't know how, or whether someone like you is feeling success but then going well wait, women. And I think in the past few years, we've seen athletes and musicians and actors and people in all creative industries step back and say, well,
I need to put me first. Yeah, And I think that that's empowering because I think we hear about burnout in work.
Culture and corporate pressure so often for sure.
So what was it that you started to do with that newfound time at that time? Like, where was is that? What the curious? Was? The curiosity always there and now you could actually follow it?
It was it was, it was always there. And I had had a lot of people coming to me telling me about meditation and how it changed their life and therapy and so many different things. And I was a bit overwhelmed because I was like, oh my god, what of this is going to suit me. I think it's a very personal experience. I think everybody has a very different version of all of that stuff, and so it was a little overwhelming. So I think I really just took the time to be off for a second. It
was even the little things. It was like being able to go to my friend's birthday party, which I wouldn't have been able to go before because I was working a lot.
I love hearing that because I think it is those simple things, like you know, giving yourself that space. Yeah, whatever it is that you needed to do when you needed it, And like you said, sometimes it's like that's when all the subscribe buttons come up in front of you. And it's like try this and try this, and it's like, well no, no, no, let me just take my time.
It was also now that I think about it, Yeah, twenty three, I'm twenty six. I've had my horse for so around that time is when I bought the horse that I have now, who is my Like I jump her and I like, I have two other horses, but they're like retired, so I don't really ride them the same way I ride her. So yeah, I guess it was around that time too that I was like, I'm going to do this because I love this and like I want to get back into it and this is
what I've loved my whole life. So so it was around that time that I feel like all of that started happening, and I bought my horse and I like started taking more time for things that made me really happy.
Yeah. What I'm noticing in you and observing, or at least from just the no in a good way way, I was just saying, it's like it feels like, no matter what's happening in your orbit, there's this pillar of belief that it's important to be happy. Yeah, like you know, that's like this core center belief in your life where it's really important to be happy. It's important to be happy. It's that has to be the goal for sure.
And you know it's not always easy. We live in such an interesting industry and in such an interesting time with social media, that it can be very hard. Sometimes you can fall victim to so many things that don't serve you and that don't make you happy. If your happiness depends on the actions of others, you know, you're at mercy of things that you can't control. And that's
never where I want to be. So I always want to live in like me and my therapist talk about like my higher goddess, my higher self, Like I always want to live there knowing that you know when I'm there, you can't take that away from me. That's mine And no matter what you can disagree with me, you can agree with me, that's not going. I'm not changing, I'm not shifting. I'm here, I'm in my higher Goddess. So I kind of I always live by like holding my
happiness and not letting anyone else affect it. And though I fall victim to it at times well as we all probably do, absolutely I strive every day to live in that place, So.
What are some of the qualities of your higher goddess so that that kind of she's awesome.
Like I said, I don't love a pity party. I also, like, you know, sometimes it feels weird to like say good things about yourself. But I've also learned a lot about talking to myself and a lot about looking in the mirror and being like, you're great, you're gorgeous, you're amazing, you're loyal, you're positive, you're so many like I love words of affirmation. I love just sitting there and reassuring myself of who I am, because that's another thing for me.
You know, there's so many false narratives about me, about all of us, I'm sure, like so many people think they have you figured out when they don't even know the half of it. So sitting there and being like, you know, you get frustrated. Sometimes it could feel really unfair.
You could be reading something that someone is saying about you, or hearing something that someone's saying about you and being like, that is so unfair because that's not who I am, And that really gets to me sometimes and that really sucks. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am and that's all. Why does anything else matter? And my friends know who I am,
and my family knows who I am. My dog knows who I am, my horse knows who I am, Like, why does any of everything else is just noise?
I do this exercise. I don't think I've sh had this before, but I do this exercise with some of my clients where we'll go on a walk and we'll be on a hike wherever we are, and I'll ask them what they think a piece of you know, maybe there's a little leaf, or maybe there's some flower or something that looks a little unique on the path, and I'll say, what do you think that feels like? And what do you think it would feel like if you
picked it up in your hand. And they'll be like, Oh, it looks really rough and like it might scratch me, and like it looks like a bit, you know, like uneven or whatever, and it looks kind of hard and strong. And then I'll ask them to pick it up, and nine times out of ten it's completely different. Like they'll pick it up and it will just dissolve in their hands, or they'll turn it over and the color is really soft and sorry the shape. The shape's really soft, and
the color's totally different on the other side. And I do that I exercise to help us realize just how multifaceted humans are. Today, I've got to meet you, and obviously we're spending a lot of deep, intimate, vulnerable time together, so you learn faster about someone. But if someone only follows someone on social media, or only sees someone at an event, or only sees one interview, it's so easy to create such a singular view of someone and I and I want to say this because I really think
we all feel it. I don't think anyone wants to be seen in a singular way. If you had to choose one word that had to be you for the rest of your life, I don't think anyone wants that. I think we all know that we're messy and complex and different, of course, but we like to put someone else in a box, whoever that may be, because it's easier than to live life and say, okay, well that's person's a bright yeah.
No.
So there's this beautiful piece of wisdom that I always share from Charles Horton Cooley, and he wrote this in eighteen ninety I think it was, which just shows how true this has been for such a long time and obviously long before that as well. And he said, the challenge today is I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. And we'll let that blow everyone's mind. Yeah, Charles Houghton coolly said, the challenge today is I'm not what I think I am. I'm
not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. And what he's trying to say is that we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. So if I think you think I'm smart, then I allow myself to feel smart.
Right, It's like we need that, family needs that validation.
Or if I think you think I'm not smart, then I feel hurt. And the challenges I don't know what you're thinking at all, especially outside in the world, and so I find out what you're saying around like, well what do I think about myself? Like how do I feel about myself? How do the people that actually know me feel about me? I think that's really empowering. I wanted to ask you because I feel like from what I've seen and from what I've heard, you have great friendships.
You have a great question with your families. You said, like, what do you think have been really great habits or traits in relationships that have helped you build up good friendships and family relationship Because I think for so many people sometimes their friendships and their family can often be the most difficult part. But I feel like the way you communicate, the way you're talking about it, I'm like, Okay,
there's some really good habits in place. Yeah. Yeah. Have there been any principles or rules that you've learned along the way that have been helpful?
I mean, of course honesty. I'm a big person on like keeping a really honest, healthy, communicative relationship. But I also think, like I find it really important to have not feel like you're on top of each other when you have your family around or your friends around. It's okay to like sometimes even if you're at like a family dinner, running to the bathroom and just being like, let me just take a couple of breaths because this is getting overwhelming, you know what I mean. So I
just love to like take a second. My feelings are valid, Like sometimes my family's a lot, which I bet everyone all already knows family have a sense of crazy to them. But I think that I can get really overwhelmed really easily. I am prone to just you know, a good amount of anxiety and just being extremely overwhelmed and kind of taking everything too seriously sometimes. So I like to just step away sometimes and just be like, this is okay.
I'm allowed to feel this way. It's valid. I'm just gonna take a deep breath and I'm not going to react, and then I'm gonna go back out there and I'm gonna be fine. That's a great times I do that.
I love that. I love how easy it is. No one needs to learn a new meditation. So sometimes that's so yeah, it's as simple as that. I love that.
I you know, one of the things that you know when which which really touched my heart when I saw this, because I think when things happen in culture and everyone talks about it, but sometimes you're like, okay, well I can tell that there's a real connection here, like when when you lost Virgil, Right like that, when I when I saw your message and what you spoke about it, I was like, wow, this is this is someone who had a really deep connection with this individual, and going
through grief is really really tough, Like you know, people who lose and I lost two really close people to me during the pandemic. One was thank you. One was one was my spiritual teacher since I was twelve years old, and he died of stage four brain cancer and I hadn't seen him during the pandemic. I can go back for his because that was still when it was like yeahwn, so he couldn't go back for his funeral, and you know, he'd been the person who'd been such a key piece
of my world. And then the other person, pretty much in the same year was my best friend as a monk, so he was still a monk, wow, and he having to get cancer and he passed to it during the pandemic.
I can see him either, and he was my age and so to lose someone that was you know and he was still there and so yeah and so and so when I saw your you know, your wonderful tribute to Virgil as well, I was like, you know, how how do you process something like that when you know it's not only industry friends but genuine friendship beyond that, and just how yeah.
Well, my first thought here is why is it always the best people? Like, why is it always these people that are just such balls of light in everyone's life? It's like, so you just think about it and you're like, this is so unfair, and you're going through every emotion, and to be honest, it was really shocking because not everyone knew what he was going through and suffering from,
so it was really shocking. I'll never forget the day I found out, and it just absolutely obviously breaks your heart and you can't help but be like, oh my god, did I ever say enough? Did I ever tell him enough? It's really interesting to share that feeling with so many people.
It feels good in a way, and you're just like everyone makes you feel so human, and you're sharing this emotion with people that knew him, people that didn't know him, people that just loved him from Afar, and it's just a really beautiful and incredible thing to a certain degree, but then also just obviously the most devastating thing. It hits so hard when so many people are talking about it and so many people are affected by it. So it was definitely really shocking, really sad time.
Yeah, it was, yeah, yeah, and those and it's really interesting where you said there is like why And I had that with my spiritual teacher for sure. I was just like like he was, you know. And and what's really powerful about what I could at least remember from him at that time was that even though he had staged four brain cancer, which means he'd lost his short term memory and a lot of his long term memories impaired, if you ever met him, he would just thank you
for your service to God. Like he would just say thank you for everything you're doing for other people, and he would just be grateful.
And I was just like, that's exactly how v was too.
He was the most positive lived life, like appreciative, wanted to say yes to everything, wanted to just be there for everyone. You could literally ask him to design a pencil for you and he would be like, it'll be done tomorrow. What else do you need? Like he just had so much to give and he gave it. And that wasn't that was pre his diagnosis. That was like,
that was just who Virgil was. And so to then find out what he found out at a certain point in his life and still be that person and still like I'm going to show up for everyone, and like, my time here is so special to all these other people and I'm going to like be here to make them feel amazing. It's just like unreal, Like it makes you just be like what, Like how how could you be that incredible and giving? Like that is so crazy? There wasn't a selfish bone in that man's body, like
he was just the best. Yeah, but I'm sorry to hear about your Oh.
No, No, I think it's actually nice speaking about people that we both love in a similar way, even though they're in such different places in life doing very different things.
But to talk about someone's and I think that's a big part of it for me, at least with grief, that I feel like when I talk about the beautiful qualities of the people that I lost, it gives me so much confidence that they want me to live it and they want me to try and embody it, and that how fortunate we are to have experienced that type of humanity.
Yeah, And those are my thoughts of him. Like, I think all we ever really want is human beings, is to be you know, when we do leave this earth,
we want to be remembered so beautifully and positively positively. Ali, I know at least I do, of course, but like you just want, you of course want to make people feel something, and he made so many people feel something, and for that it is so special, like what they say that we, you know, we have our purpose here, and I know that he fulfilled a purpose here that he was supposed to fulfill, and I think that that's I think about it beautifully, Like I obviously it's a
very very sad situation and it breaks my heart, but I have nothing but beautiful thoughts of him, and I think that's really cool and really special.
So yeah, thank you for sharing that too. And I had to ask you because yeah, I just I feel I love hearing amazing things about amazing people that you know, because I think so many of the most incredible people I grew up reading about people that I never met, and I spent a lot of my life studying books about people that I never met, some Malcolm X and Martin Luther King and Einstein and people that I really see as people that have directed so much of my
life from how they lived. And I feel like he was potentially one of those people that I never met him, but whenever I hear about him, I'm just like sure, Oh this is someone that we could learn from. You spoke about purpose there. I was wondering, how is your purpose changed? You had this very confident view of I want to be a mono. You know you've superseded, exceeded, and continue to flourish in that world, and I always wish that you do. How has your purpose evolved as that time's gone on.
I think I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot about myself about what I want from my life, and which is kind of what we've been talking about. But I'm actually really excited to get older and to learn so much more about not only myself, but like the journey and the path that I guess want to take and want to be on. So I'd say, you know, my purpose has evolved from obviously within business, doing what I want to do and making sure I'm happy and finding the thing that I love and all those things.
But I've kind of, like I said, really tuned into me and I think my purpose at least at this very moment, and what I've kind of evolved into is my higher Goddess, like I am determined to tune into her at all times. But also as I get older, I have so much that I want to connect with other people and with you know, aka social media and people that may not know me personally, and just you
know the following. Like I said, I was given this life for some reason, for whatever reason, I was placed here, and I do feel a per to share and connect and put a smile on people's faces or make someone feel a positive feeling. And so I think that within me wanting to achieve me tuning into my higher goddess, I think that also entails me being a great version of myself for other people to then experience, and my tips and my tools, whatever I can share, whatever help
I can give. I I really, you know, as corny as it sounds, I want to spread like I want people to feel love. That's really I guess the purpose.
Yeah that's beautiful.
I mean we'll thank you, right, yeah.
And it is funny that so much of the stuff that is corny or you know whatever, that's the stuff that's true, right, That's the stuff it is.
Like, there's also just we all just like live in such a it's an interesting time obviously, and it can feel really negative. And I tend to stay off of platforms like social media platforms because it's hard to look at it sometimes and it feels really negative. So I feel like we all just need a little bit of a smile sometimes.
I agree. I agree. I post these videos every day which are just these fun, silly things that happen yeah old that my team will find, I'll find, and I post them every day literally for that reason, and that reason only because I'm like, I may or may say, may or may not say something that makes someone smile, but this definitely, like this without will bring some joy. And if this is the only joy that someone experienced, I want them to see good in the world and believe that there's good in the wa.
That's one of my favorite things to see on TikTok. When I sit in my bed at night and fall victim to TikTok, I love to see there's people that I'll post, like here's like five amazing facts that have happened in the world in the last couple of weeks or whatever, and it'll be like the you know, pandas are not extinct anymore, and like the very great barrier reef is coming back and stuff like that, and so I'm like, that's so cool.
That's what I want to hear exactly. And you know, if it was like it's going down, it's like it's going to get a lot of likes and hits, but it's going up.
Why do we like gravitate towards the negative so much? Like very interesting?
We have to retrain I genuinely believe it's just a pattern. It's a pattern and a habit that's been so long, absolutely, and we have to retrain ourselves clickbait.
Of it all and the whole thing. And we're like, that's going downhill. I need to see what's happening, and we're just like, we do need to retrain our brains. It's exactly what it is.
Yeah, And it starts with what you said earlier. It starts with how we see ourselves. It is all from that. If someone looks in the mirror as you were saying earlier, or if someone just reflects on themselves, not in the physically but just internally. Yeah, most of us will spot all the negative things about ourselves and then we take that out into the world and spot all the negative things about everyone else, and then we take that out into social media.
So that just propels from all.
Yeah, if we ask someone to sit down and write down. As you said, we feel uncomfortable taking a compliment, or we feel uncomfortable.
Saying saying nice about herself, so exactly.
And so it all starts with our relationship with ourselves. If we were able to find three good things about ourselves today, I promise you're going to find three good things about the person sitting in front of you, and that will right exactly.
I do a lot of like inner child work with my therapist, and there's actually a trend on TikTok that was going around, but coincidentally enough, we ended up naturally speaking about it in my session and it was like this trend on TikTok. I guess that was like a girl being like, anytime you're being mean to yourself, just
think this is who you're talking about. And then it flashes to like a photo of her as a kid, and so I me and my therapist were talking about something similar and she was like, why don't you find like a photo of yourself and put it on your bathroom mirror so that every morning, every night, every day, when you walk into your bathroom mirror, you're looking at her and you're remembering that. If there's anything negative that you're ever saying about your if you're ever being mean
to yourself, you're talking about her. And so I did that, and I went into my I went into like my memorabilia closet in my house, and I was looking through old like photo books. And I've seen these photo books my whole life. I've literally seen every photo that's been in here. And I like flipped to a page and there was a photo I'd never seen of myself ever.
It was a polaroid, so it was the original photo and it was just me as a little girl with a bow in my hair out and a dress on, and I have like a little alien tattoo or something right here, and I'm like, have this big cheesy smile on my face. And I was like, that's the photo I'm putting on my thing. I can show you the photo later. I have a picture of it on my phone. But so I pasted it on my bathroom mirror, and
I talked to her. And I'm always like, if I'm ever looking in the mirror and being negative towards myself or anything, I always look right over to her and I'm like, she's dope, and I love her. And so It's just another way of just self life.
I love that. That's such a great tool. That's such a great too. My team found a kid picture of me and made an embarrassing of that trend.
So I'll show you that too, Okay, so you know it.
Yeah, exactly exactly as well, Keto. You were saying earlier that you know you you wanted to come here, and you you wanted to share and manifested, and there were things you wanted to share. What is it that's on your heart that you've wanted to share that Maybe we didn't go there today already, or is there something on your mind and heart, is an experience or any anything that really drew you here and made this happen, right, Like, I want to honor that.
I think we've obviously we've honestly touched a lot of what I felt like I would have loved to get off my heart. I don't know. I was really excited, honestly to come here and share a little bit of me that I feel is very sometimes scary for me to share. And like I said, I came in here and I was a little nervous because this is important to me, and like this part of you know everyone's journey and what we're talking about today is it's so important.
I really that was I guess my intention here today was to come in and share a little bit of me and maybe for whoever's watching, they find some comfort in this, or some joy from this, or they understand me a little bit more, you know what I mean. So, I think that we've hit a lot of really cool points and yeah, I mean I feel I feel really good good.
I wanted to honor that. I asked that because you know, I think I think when when you feel you're in that flow with someone and yeah, I feel like, you know, we've learned so many new things about you today, and there's so many moments where I'm like, I just feel like you're so comfortable and you've been so open with us. But I just wanted to honor that thank you, to make sure that you feel that you've really felt heard and seeing it.
I appreciate that thank you so.
So we all want to just be understood at the end of the day.
I think the closer you get to people humans, the closer you get to people of different backgrounds and different walks of life, the more you start to recognize how similar.
We all are, yeah, exactly, and how many.
Challenges we all share, despite how much money someone has in the bank, despite how much fame someone has, despite how much follows someone as And what we find is that everyone feels their own guilt for where they are, and everyone feels their own pressure for where they are, and everyone feels their own challenge for where they and you just start to realize that we all have the same emotions in different mixes.
Yeah, we're all just having a human experience exactly. We're all just going day by day. I think we all need to be a little bit kinder to each other and just take it easy on some people because we are. We're all we all have our own struggles. And I don't know, I'm an EmPATH, so I like feel for things and I feel for people and yeah.
Yeah, and it starts with you the person.
Yeah, it's exactly. Tell yourself with yourself.
If you can be kinder to yourself, chances are you're going to be I found that the days I stop judging myself of judging others, because it changed how I saw humanities. Yeah, Ken do we end every on Purpose episode with a final five, which is a fast five round. I ask you a question and you answer it with a one word or one sentence maximum, so it's super quick and share. Okay, okay, and we have to whisk you away because you need to you need to go
to your next appointment. But okay, So the first question is what's something you're curious about right now?
Ooh, I am super curious about I was saying how I love Michael Singer, and I think what I really love. I'm reading The Surrender Experiment right now, and I'm only in the first couple chapters, so he's basically this is
not a quick answer. He's basically the first part of the book where he's talking about how he was curious about meditation and how he got into meditation and how he really just was like on a trip with his friends and his girlfriend in the woods and like sat in a corner or sat at a tree and was like, I'm going to just really dive into this and see
what happens. That's what I'm curious about right now is just actually, like I meditate, I do a lot of breathing work, breathing exercises, and I just really want to tap in. Yeah, like Michael Singer did I love that.
That's a great answer. That's a great answer. Circond question, if there's anything that you're working on personally right now? What are you working on on yourself?
Is there any Yes, I'm working on I'm working on boundaries, and I'm working on not a stressor like I can stress about things in my mind and I overthink and I just so I'm really working on like calming down and just letting things flow better and not being so controlling over things, especially that I can't control.
Love it. Question number three, what's your favorite thing about founding? Eight one eight ooh, being an entrepreneur, being a founder?
Probably that Like I, I, you know, was a model and I worked for people a lot. I kind of love being my own boss and really being able to have my own creative a place where I can be creative and just really express my creativity and have so much fun doing all of that creative stuff. And I've learned so much and learning about the culture and learning about the tequila and everything. Like I've just had the best time.
So I love that question Before what's something you used to value but you don't value anymore?
Validation? I don't care anymore, at least I'm telling myself that, yeah, we have to first right, No, but it's true, Like I used to care so much more about validation, I really don't care anymore at least, thank you.
Fifth and final question. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be.
Oh, I would do like on like a Sunday, you have to take half the day and like not look at your phone or something.
I love that's leg That's great, right, yeah.
Kind of nice. Or the full day really crazy? I love that idea.
I love that. Kendel Jenner. Everyone, this was amazing, Kendal, this honestly, and I'm excited to catch up afterwards too. But there was just so much flow and synergy in this whole thing happening, and I couldn't thank you more for doing this with me here on on purpose. And I hope that this is the first and many times that will do this, but I hope it's the beginning
of a beautiful friendship and relationship. And I want to everyone who's been listening or watching back at home, please let me and Kendle know, tag us, letting us know what resonated with you, what connected with you, like, what was it that you've got curious about, or what was something she said that just shifted your perspective or where you learned something new. I'd love to hear it. I know there are tons of moments for me where I was listening going this is amazing, this is incredible, This
is awesome. So any wisdom nuggets that stuck out to you, please let us know because I love seeing what made a difference in your life as well. And a big thank you to Kendall for opening our heart and opening.
Up our mind.
Thank you too, honored, Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. That's amazing.
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