You're in control. You. You. You decide what you consume, You decide what you believe, You decide who you surround yourself with. You decide what you put out. Take on accountability. Yeah, everybody wants to blame right now. I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book Eight Rules of Love is out and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook.
If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eight Rules of Love dot com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour Love Rules. Go to Jay shehtytour dot com to learn more information about tickets, via experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you this year, Gay.
It's been three years since I've seen you, and it's been way too long. It's nice to be back. It's nice to be back. Man, we're always back here. This is like, I think, the third time I've interviewed you in this room, and it's just it's always awesome when I hear from you, when we're in touch. Man. So I'm hoping that we can kick that off again. I love it. Yeah, I love it. I want to start off. I have to ask you. I've got a ton of questions. I know we've got limited amount of time. I want
to start off asking how was Vegon? I was watching It looked amazing. I was following everything online. It was great. We were really happy with it. I've been telling a lot of my friends and family, Like you know, I really held back a lot. Meaning it was since it was the first time. I didn't know what I was getting into. So it went super well, which has me crazy excited for the next one. It was educational, it was about community. It felt right, and now I think
I can build off of that base. I like context a lot, and so I needed to contextualize throwing an event of that size. Now that I've calibrated, I think about it like a like a fighter the first round. They want to feel each other out. You want to take that first punch. Can you take the guy or Gal's power. Um, now that we've done that, I feel like I can be even more ambitious with the next one. So it was it was really good. Nice man. Yeah, the people I know that went as not as speakers,
but his visit is that a great time. I'm glad. So yeah, that's when the Universal takes which for a first year event at that size, I'll take it. Your team posted this beautiful video is literally yesterday and I was just I was scrolling through and it's this video of a moment between you and your dad. Yeah, and I was just like, you know, to hear that from your dad, I'm going to read it out. He said, you don't even realize what you did on that stage.
You completely changed my brain. And then he said you're really special, and like we've seen moments with you and your dad on social a ton before. Obviously, what was different about that moment and what was even what did you side? What's challenging for me is like, you know, look, my dad's a very popular figure. I do a good job in popular he's the best. But my dad and I are very different. My dad grew up with a very different mom than I did. My dad grew up
in a very different place. The USSR is not an optimistic place. You know, a lot of Americans and a lot of people listening around the world don't know this. The USSR was a jail. It wasn't only that it was a difficult country. We have difficult countries around the world. You couldn't leave, you know, I'm not educated. I think you can't leave North Korea right, Like, if you leave it right, North Korea is the comp like, you couldn't leave the USSR. So that's called jail. And so you know,
he grew up in a very different place. That manifested in my father looking at his employees very differently than I do, looking at the world differently. And we had some very serious conversations in the last ninety six hours because I made this connection point. I'm not going to put them out there yet. I think that's for him to put out there if he wants to. But my last book, Twelve and a half Ingredients, I realized when I wrote it was, Oh, it's not just empathy. Oh
it's not just ambition. Like we're the makeup of like these three combos, these four combos in this situation, these two combos and what I think happened is there was one ingredient that my dad wasn't using in combination that if he starts using the way he has been the last two three days, Ay, everybody around him is going to be happier, but for me selfishly, he's going to be happier. And I'm really glad that moment's connected. My Dad's had stop and starts of like optimistic points of
view in the past. We all have. I've had stops and starts with candor. Let me make it about myself. I've had finally over to hump in the last three four years. But it was a special moment and like, I'm incredibly emotional about it because it could be a
really big impact. It was really beautiful to see him, Man, thank you, Billy, And I loved how your response is, like, Dad, you should have come and look, it's fun to do this with you because you're also one of the human beings on earth that communicates in a way that helps people. It's a very heavy feeling to know that you can say something and can change someone's life, you know. I think it's intoxicating. I think it's why a lot of therapists love their job. I think it's why a lot
of people that are into meditation. I think it's why teachers love their job. I think it's why a lot of parents. My mom had real, real sadness, empty nest when AJ left. She was an Hall of Fame mother. When he left, she didn't get the player. You know. Like so, I think for many of us around the world, we do it publicly, but a lot of people do
it privately or in small micro climates. There's nothing like saying something that provides someone else value when that person ends up being some of the people you love the most that goes to a different planet. Yeah, it's really special. And I think what you just said that it accord with me because I think we always want the answer to be like, well, should I be this or should I be that? Right, you're talking about the opposites, and it's like I be affectionate or should I be active?
And it's like it's always and yeah, something I've been really tapping into is and versus or Yeah, I feel like I'm very effective because of our political temperature to last decade, you know, Purple America has been really told in many different ways and it's a left and right issue. Yeah, this is not picking on any one party. It's just
the climate. It's the popular culture. I'm watching my friends and acquaintances and business associates change their opinion on issues because they feel they have to be one hundred percent read or one hundred percent blue. It's it's incredibly devastating to me. I know where they stand. I'm watching them change their mind because they're treating it as a tribe and the answers purple, yeah, and so purple and versus or.
This is a lot of the work I'm working on within myself, through my content, affecting my team and then you know, you know, family, team, employees, the world. You know. I'm spending a lot of time on it. And that's why that book was so fun for me, because you know, I'm an enigma. I confuse people. I'm a contradiction. People struggle with it, and I see it as the strength. It is the end that makes me work like I
want to build the biggest companies of all time. Yet I haven't come across a lot of people really genuinely naturally DNA. I'm not special luck of the draw. Really want everyone else to win like, I'm really about that life. I love that you just said that because I had a really dear friend who I respect, who we both know is very accomplished in their own world, he said to me. Recently, he said to me, Jay, the reason why I love having conversations with you is because I
can have a spiritual conversation. We can then switch to strategy and then we can talk about content. And he's like, I appreciate that you're one person that we can go there. And I was, and that gave me permission to be that because, by the way, I'm the same paradox people that were used to be a monk, but now you do media and you manage companies, and people can't not always figure that out. Like, but I am all of them and I'm okay with that, and I'd rather be
all of them than have to choose one. And a lot of people don't like juggling six balls, and I think that's awesome. I think life needs to be talked way more around self awareness and self love. Like I can't pick one thing, Gary, so many of my friends, well intended, most accomplished people on earth. Gary, if you ever decided to pick one thing in focus. You would, and I'm like, I would die. Yeah, you think because
you did, and it works for you. That's awesome. And that's why when I make content, i say it with such passion and conviction. I'm always trying to use longer format platforms like this to take a step back and create some clarity. I'm asking people to do the things on their terms as passionately and all in as I am. I'll talk about tactics. Yes, TikTok is an arbitrage attention machine right now. Yes, I believe you should post three
four times a day, but you don't have to. And more importantly, if you just like posting on TikTok the way I dislike reading, then you should do it. Never Yes, and that's the part the people. They want everything so black and white, when everything everything is gray. I'm always trying to share my conviction, talk about the ease of leaning into oneself. But remind people don't be me. I
have high energy. I have levels of charisma that aren't trained, Like mommy and Daddy made love at the right second, and I was born with certain things. It's the same reason that I've struggled with candor do you know me? Five minute meetings I have that are such a waste of time because they're could have been an eighteen second
reading of an email, but I can't do it. And and and I just I was a DNF student because even as a child, I had some sort of subconscious force that just wasn't interested in not being me, you know, Yeah, And I just want that for more people like and then that goes into a framework that I get very passionate about. My favorite thing about walking around Earth is how visceral I am against judging people. In an era that judgment of others has become the most popular pastime,
but it starts with me not judging myself. I have standards, I have morals, but I don't beat myself up. And as you know, because I'm sure you're on the receiving end of different but many of the same messages that I get, people are just so good at beating themselves up. And I'm like why, like everybody else sucks too, Like great, so you're not good at this, or you missed your kids baseball game and you're not a bad parent when
you're we need you know. Another thing Jay that I'm very passionate about intent needs to have a seat at the table. We've eliminated the ability to try to figure out one's intent. You suck because of this. Do you know why they got there? Do you know how this happened? Like, we've just eliminated intent. So these are all the feelings I think through. But you know, like I am, I
definitely like doing a lot of things. Yeah, and I love what you're saying because we'd rather project that label of judgment onto someone because then we don't have to do the work to figure out how they got there. Yeah, I mean, envy and jealousy are incredibly powerful traits. I tend not to a lot of my friends throw it out about me, about themselves. I actually never go there. It's very real. I'm just trying to figure out the solve, yes, which is like big things like can we reframe success?
Can we create clarification? For example, with me, I've spent the last five years trying to really explain why I want to buy the New York Jets because it's a fun game, not like I need the New York you know what I mean. Like, I'm in a weird place now where I kind of want, like Karen Thompson to buy the jets and be the biggest first. Like, good job, Karen, you did it. Like I'd want to try to buy the jets. I don't need the jets. I want to
try to build big companies. It's fun process over the trophies. I don't need the trophies to close gaps of insecurity. Yeah, and so like redefining success. That was at talk right after becon a couple of days ago in Vegas. Lady said, you know, and she was so damn happy, and she's like, but I'm not, you know, making the dollars like everybody in this room like are you happy? She's like really happy. I'm like, you're the winner of the room. We have
to redefine success. You know, I'm not against money. I'm an entrepreneur. I was born in the USSR and grew up in America. I'm like very pro anything in balance, capitalism and balance excites me to no end. It's around merit. But we need to teach all of ourselves the simplicity of like, how like redefining success. Yeah. Yeah, Well that's the fascinating thing about self awareness. Going back to earlier point that I've found that envy and jealousy. When you
don't have self awareness, you envious and jealous of everyone. Correct, when you have self awareness, it at least limits your envy and jealousy to what you do, and then you can actually do something with it and do something about it. And so self aware and its actually gets you halfway there in the battle against jendency. And I'm obsessed with it. You know, it brings you better relationships. When a humanist tone deaf of like how people are affected by them,
They're in a very, very vulnerable spot. Self awareness is very attractive and something that I hope society keeps pounding on. I believe that you're someone who has an even better
private life than you do public life. Yeah, I mean you know obviously listen, I've gone, you know, through my personal things like anybody else, But you know what, you know how I would answer that I'm wildly content and at peace, and I don't think that would make sense to most people that consume me because I'm so frantic
as a communicator. I'm such high energy. I think the thing I always enjoy when people get close to me and I'm looking at dustin set behind, It's like there's incredible levels of confusion on the omness and like the ability to absorb, you know, bad situations, and that has so much to do with personal life, right like friends and family. I feel really good about it. I think a lot of it has to do with the lack
of expectation I have of others. Doesn't mean I don't require like any human being, but like, I'm incredibly compassionate, not just empathetic, and I think when you combine compassion and empathy you get into a really zeny fun place. I find that, you know, I've been really thinking this through. I'm like, oh, those two because not only can I feel you, but when you come with something that isn't great, I'm going quickly to are you okay? Versus this hurts me?
And so that gives me a very good personal life. I again trials and tribulations like any human on life from different various things, especially candor. I would tell you that everything that I've had challenges within my life professionally and personally has been because I'm non confrontational, which again blows people away because on stage I'm incredible at it
because I'm talking to the world. When I'm talking to the world, I can't see your name or your face, And so I can just have really good observations to incredibly clean data because very few people on Earth read the comments from human beings at the level that I do. That's what I do for a living. Yeah, so I have crazy insights. One that really caught me was how many wealthy kids were upset with their parents for paying
things but didn't want to give up the parents. That one really triggered me in four or five years, because I didn't grow up in that environment. I was like, oh, this is a wild one. This is a very unhappy twenty five year old with a Tesla, a sick apartment in la an unlimited uber equinox. But they really but the subconscious is starting to take over and they realize their parents think they're losers, that's why they're paying for everything.
And it becomes, you know, breaking those things down. So yeah, I think I think I am very happy because I'm very simple. I'm way simpler in business and content, and people realize I'm very simple in life. I don't really want stuff. I like playing. I like playing, you know, I like competition. That's something I'm passionate about. Everythink a lot about competition. You know, I'm thinking about why is there's so much anxiety in the system. Of course social
media pipes. I don't blame social the way people do. I just think that people are being exposed. Yeah, yeah, this was this was happening at dinner tables and so like that's right, yeah, like so like so I think people want to blame platforms. This is about a human thing, and I think every country is different, every religion's different, race genders, a lot going on. But I really think that there's a lot of fun little pieces put together that got us to certain places. I think eliminating merit
and demonizing competition has been a misstep. I think it came from great intent. I think parents didn't want kids crying. They didn't want them to feel bad. But we started training that eighteen place is the same as first place. Eliminating merit is not a happy place. It leads to a very unhappy place. And so, you know, it's funny the things that get me going, ambition and competition. I'm in feels very red kindness over anything else, including those
two things. Marie. You know, and because it's purple, and that's where my soul is right now. For the world, because I think so much of what I am and what I became was my mom and my DNA and my circumstance filled all the gaps along the way. I walked into high school four foot eleven, four ft eleven confident, not because I thought I would get the cheer leader or it was going to be the most popular, because
I had zero interest in that validation. Yeah, not that I thought it was better, not that I thought it was better. And I think these, you know these, I just wanted to be nice to everybody. I want to do my baseball card shows, I want to get my d's and f's on my way to go into the wine business. I wanted everybody to be happy, and it really hasn't stopped. The Buddha thousands of years ago called it the middle path, right, the idea that we're trying to go. Is it left or is it right? Is
it this or that? It's like, no, it's the middle path. And what you were just saying around eliminating merit. I think one of the bigger challenges is trying to eliminate pain early on in life, because you just become fragile, correct, And it's fascinating to me how much we don't realize that fragility is being spread by limiting. I was beaten up every day at school, primary school, every single day because I was the only ending kid at school. I was the only overweight kid in school, and so I
got beaten up every single day. And it was just what I went through in same same as you, similarly, funnily enough, and we never talked about this, but people always like, did that affect you? I'm like, no, not really, because I wasn't looking for love from that person, because even then I knew that that person had more pain in their life to me. They grew up on the council estate, they had their parents had a broken marriage.
They had so much more context even at that age that I could go home to my mom and dad. I think, I think it's real. I think kids not going outside like parents are two involved. I get it again, best intent, best intent, but I believe in it. I believe that we have demonized losing when losing is the best. Like for me, it was school was telling me I was going to be a failure. So you've grown ups left and right, friends, parents and teachers, you will be
a garbage. I remember the favorite thing back in the eighties, you're gonna be garbage man, big shout out to the garbage first of all. But that was the cliche thing in eighty four to eighty seven, like I can't wait to be like I'm gonna be a garbage like they like they just really it was only college, it was only grades. So that and then I competed twenty four seven. I was always competing, and when you compete all the time,
you're losing a lot. And I cried. I cried from six to twelve every time I lost than anything video games, checkers, uno, football, because I hated the feeling. But the layers of skin that I have, you know, and that makes sense to me about you. You can't be out there at the level we're out there. If you don't have that stomach, you won't do it. You won't put yourself. We all now can everybody can put themselves out there. People won't do it if they don't have that layer of skin.
And I, you know, I agree with you, like, and it's a tough challenge, but we have to get kids to like get comfortable with losing, yeah, get comfortable with discomfort, even if they're not losing. Yet she's getting comfortable with discounts and we've really gone the other way, especially if there's money, if the family has a couple of bucks, it's been completely eliminated. Yeah, parents are going to school fighting for their kids, like my kids should have gotten
like we're doing too much. And then they're twenty two and they have to live life and they go into the workplace and they're like, I should be the VP of this company. Gary, I'm like, you've been here four weeks. Yeah, I'm like, start your own company. Like, yeah, have you found you found clever ways with with your daughter to be able to do things like that? Like have you found I'm hacking all the time with my two kids? Competition? How do you do that with giving it? Because beat them,
beat them and everything. My dad used to do that. I wish AJ was here like a My mom used to get so mad at me because we were siblings. Not it's your child and I'm eleven years older. So we're playing one on one basketball. I'm eighteen, he's seven, and I am beating them for a couple of reasons. One I believed it. Two I didn't want to lose. Three I always know when it happened. I'm like, one day he's gonna be seventeen and I'm gonna be, you know,
twenty eight, and he's gonna beat me. He's gonna be and you know, like I needed to get my wins on the board because yeah, I think beating them. I think talking about adversity, explaining non conformant leaning in you know, and so that's how Yeah, I like that, And my dad was like that. It was really interesting because I think men and women react differently to that. But as a guy like my dad was like that, he would never passed. He would he would get in front of
an open goal soccer. I'm talking about game in front an open goal. He could pass to me for his son to score, and he'd go. In school, we'd been playing father and son, and honestly, you know, I've been thinking a lot because I'm so soft skilled. Yeah, there's so many moms I know that were like, well never let like the dad is. I'm thinking about one couple right now where it's like, I just think it's a DNA trait, it's a culture trait. But I think competition
in losing an adversity need to be championed. Zero to twelve, when they've been completely taken out of the equation. And I believe the entitlement and the pain is a direct correlation. I really do, Yeah, I really do. What I go to out of that was that it helped me become my own man because I didn't have my dad passing me the boy. I didn't have my dad passing it on, and so for me, it gave me no framework to
the extreme. By the time I was eighteen or nineteen, I was I mean, this is really I think my dad's about to start consuming my content. So I'm gonna be very I'm gonna tread lightly here, but Dad, if you're listening, At eighteen or nineteen, I became equally as important to the business, and by twenty two I was much more important into business, and so like I took it to the extreme, right, like you know, the responsibility, the putting it on your own two feet, Like we
need a lot more of that. No parent is doing their kid a favor by putting training wheels on their life. Yeah, yeah, I love that, Karry, I'm asking this would love And you know, for me, this was a big thing. I think it was like I think i'd been making content for two years before I introduced my community to my wife. Yes, and everyone's like, Jay, you're married, Like people had no idea because I just didn't talk about her because we just got married, We've been together for a few years
before that. I was like, I need to be careful about, of course, what we're going to say, where this is going, how this feels. You've recently been more open about your relationship. Yes, we don't have to go there. This is being very kind and I appreciate it because I respect you. I am incredibly private, as you know and the world knows, because I'm going through a transition in my life. I felt like it got to a place where it was not sustainable for me to be one hundred percent private,
and so I've been a little more public. It is something that I'm desperately not interested in, even the part we just talked about with my kids, Like, it's not somewhere I want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to talk about my kids. I don't want to talk about my personal No. No, I want you to keep this and I'll tell you why. I want to remind people you're in control. Yeah, it's incredibly important and appropriate, and I appreciate especially being very cordial
for people to ask and things of that nature. But I want to remind people they're in control. Yeah. I want to provide value and put out things. In my professional career, I'm incredibly private and feel that the world is entitled to what you give it. So when I watch people get upset when people get into their business, I'm like, you're giving them your business by the way, you're leveraging your business. I don't want to leverage nor give my personal life to the world. I don't think
that's the right way, by the way. I just think it's my way. Yeah. So the reason I have a little bit to what you're referring to is it became not sustainable because it's been a long time and like I was in a trance, like it just it was the appropriate time and I needed to just get some context out there. But I'm it's not where I'm going to go. Yeah, And that's what I was more interested. To me. It's not listen us being together. My brain goes into maximize the value at the highest levels because
we have the opportunity too. For as many people are listening. The takeaway there from my perspective is you're in control. Yeah, you have a learning disability and you want to share it. Mazzeltof you don't great. It took me back to something less serious. It took me fifteen years of public life to say I'm not candorous and it's hurt me my personal life, and it's hurt me in my business life. You get to share what you want to share. Yeah,
and I think people should be careful of what they share. Yes, you share your abs as like as like you're a good shape dude. People don't talk about your body for rest of your life. Yeah, but you did that. You're gonna show your kid all the time. They're gonna talk about that relationship. They're gonna talk. You're giving the world permission. I'd prefer not to give the world permission because that's a sacred place for me. Yeah. You know, even look
at my mom. She like the greatest gift I could give to the world, is my mom to the world the greatest. She's alpha me, She's more experienced. She's a different perspective as a mom, as she doesn't want it the end, right. I thought my dad and mom would be reverse. My dad, I never thought would love the
limelights so much. But you know, so, I think if you're listening right now, please if you're not going on social media because you have a skeleton in your closet, you have a disease, you have a bad you know situation. You're like me and like grew up in a family where like personal life is private. That's I think, you know, in Russia that was like people would go to jail
if anybody knew anything about you. So I think it ingrained in my parents, which then ingrained in me and my sister and brother, Like we're private that way, you know. I think you have to understand you're in control. Facebook and TikTok and podcasts on YouTube don't make you do anything. Yeah, they don't make you do anything. I'm so glad you addressed up because I think there's and this is why
I brought it up. I think there's been a mosque of false vulnerability that's been encouraged because of social media. So people think that the more vulnerable or more open shore that shows authenticity. Yeah, I love you for that. You're going to a very smart place, I would argue, I see more lack of authenticity in the way that people are leveraging their family and personal life because they know it does well. Yeah. I don't want to go too deep because again, this is what's fun about being
Canadas in general. But I would never ever say this to a human being. There's people who are leveraging their children for brand deals. That's something thinking about. Yeah, like like right now, those kids aren't talking about that to you because they don't talk because they're four or because they're sixteen not ready to have that combo. But like, I think all of us have to think about things like that. Yeah, And I think for me, as an observer of you, I always respect. Then That's why I
was so intrigued and I still respect. I still respect, but it's because I went through that journey in my own head. Yeah, even with my own wife that had been together with and even what we share and where we should you really intention like to me, your family is the most sacred. Like that's who's going to be around you when you're dying. Yeah, like right, and so like you have to think three times before you start letting anything in. Right. And by the way, the other
thing is I don't want to make decisions for other people. Yeah, I was built to be unstoppable, you know what I mean, Like, like when you suhere, I'm going like for that judgment if that person it's hard enough if you choose it, imagine someone else choosing it for you. Yes, and so like, please everyone be thoughtful on this one. And by the way, if you're listening right now and it's really hitting, but you already opened up Kimono's box, it's never close. It's
never related to close it. You can close that. We evolve, we change, I will make mistakes, I will change, I will evolve. I will do good things. Like we need a lot more civility and patience for each other. Yeah, if you've been sharing everything and you decide off of this podcast, which I'm sure there's five to five hundred people that just decided right now, then you just stop. And when people ask, where's Johnny your boyfriend? Because like you, you can answer it, you don't have to answer it.
But like you're in control, people have to understand they're in control. Accountability. You know, V Friends is Mike is the scaled version of me. You know V Friends. You know this is actually something I should talk to you about offline. You should really debate this the building intellectual property to scale one's message is very powerful. So I'd love to Yeah. Yeah, Like like I met this woman in our late sixties early seventies, somebody introduced me to her.
I want to I'm looking and potentially hire her to be a storyteller. And V Friends short for Jim Henson. Wow, we're just getting to know each other. But like the brief for Fraggle Rock, the brief for the entire show was stop war, and it was like the most profound out of all these sixteen months. That's been the most profound moment so far of my journey of V Friends. Because V Friends is to make people happier, but I think happiness comes in a lot of forms, not demonizing competition.
My favorite character I want to develop as accountable Aunt Jay. I think the lack of accountability is leading to so much unhappiness. Like life is so much better when you're like this was my fault. Yeah, you're in control. Yeah, and so like you know, this was like a wrap up to control. You're in control. You You you decide what you consume, you decide what you believe, You decide who you surround yourself up with. You decide what you
put out. Take on accountability. Yeah, everybody wants to blame right now the algorithm they're acting as. The algorithms are like hypnosis and I understand endorphin hits and all that, but like you can delete the app, you can like where's accountability in this? Yeah? Right? Yeah? Absolutely. We have an alcohol, we have tobacco, we have drugs, we have weapons, and we have all sorts of issues. But most people play within moderation. That's on you. Yeah. And it's a
tough truth, right, It's it's a tough. It's a tough, especially when you're unhappy. Yeah. Yeah, that goes back to why it's important. It's like the chicken and egg. It's like working out, Like I got into better shape the last eight years. Nothing comes less natural to me. Yeah, nothing comes right Like, but like I was like, I just would like to live longer. Yes, I would just like to live longer. Yeah, and go figure. It's not apple cider gummies, it's not steroids, it's not implants I've
thought about. I'm like, can I get chest in plants? I put in a lot of work. I feel like
I've like Seth's good. Like I feel like Seth but like my body type, like you know, and I'm like, I probably haven't but but but no, it's like eat, well, go in the gym, do the right things, and so saying for life, you know, whether it's meditation, whether it's exercise, whether it's therapy, whether it's good conversations, whether it's surrounding you know, you know, back to us not having a certain you know, we've had some meals, we've had some interactions.
They're always like they're nice. I would like that, and I will build on that. I think, you know, I'm spending more time thinking about spending more time with more while doubling down on core. You know, yeah, you know, because I've been I did a really good job in the last ten years of doubling down on core. But but I think being as busy and I love what I do, you know, I really do want to build
out a more of a friend network more. I want to take more people from lightweight acquaintance to solid acquaintance. I want to take people from a paintance to friend, from friend to best friend. And so I'm on a journey like everybody else. But I think that um god, I think believe it or not, and this is going to sound so crazy for so many The world actually has so much potential for everybody listening to be the best time to be alive. Medicine and technology and there's
so much, but we're caught right now. It's like a hamster wheel. We're in the momentum of focusing on you know, the bad. Yeah, and there's there's always bad. Yeah. The Holocaust was bad. Genocide is always going on. Genghis Khan was not a fun time to be a human. Yeah, Like, you know, like we we are very bad at history. I was a really bad student, but I did well in history. Like, but that starts with you. What are you going to do about it? Because right now everyone's
like pointing and feels like it's on someone else. Starts with ourselves. I mean when you said that and you brought up the Holocaust. I recently read Edith Eager's book The Gift. She lived through the Holocaust, and she had that mindset in the Holocaust. So she said the only way she got through it is she realized that she wasn't a prisoner, that the only prisoners were the gods, because they were prisoners of their own conscience. Unbelievable, that
was her mindset. She's right, and it's and you know, she's like overnight in now or even older, and it's like it's just phenomenal that her Victor Franco, who wrote Man set for Meaning, these two phenomenal books, if anyone hasn't read them like they had that in that scenario. Well, that's the point I always make to everybody, Like, you know, the only thing that works for me is trying to
contextualize moments in time. Yeah, and like you know, our great great great grandparents had it rough by comparison the way we have it, and sure they had some things that were better on simplicity, but we must choose optimism because what's the alternative pessimism? Like are you just gonna decide? Because once you decide, where are you? Once you decide,
it's bad, it's actually bad. And so like, one of the things that makes me very passionate to communicate is practical optimism or the fact that I believe negativity is
much better at marketing than positivity. Oh, for sure, I feel a huge sense of responsibility what has become out of all the things you've pursued, Because I'm guessing at different stages in your life, and anyone who hasn't heard of interviewed to Gary twice before, so you can go back and listen to those You've pursued different things at different times, and every time I meet you, it's a really What I love about it is that you just there's so much growth and acceptance and embracing of this
new you. Every time we talk, I feel like I'm talking to an even more self aware of human, which is a really fun feeling when you're checking in with someone in this way. And so I go, what have you found currently to be the most worthy pursuit? What is it that you're pursuing that you've found worthy of. It's always been the same thing for me. It's almost
as if I'm living two separate lives. The most worthy pursuit is I'm wildly gifted and helping other people, and I'm incredibly comfortable of also being okay with feeding myself around my own interests. The most worthwhile pursuit of my friend, I think this is going to land with you is the continuous balanced beam that I walk on that is called equal parts selfish and equal parts selfless and refining that skill set. And I think in the three times. If I may off of your analogy, I think the
beam is getting thinner, and I'm still walking it. You know, maybe the first time we met it was like an Olympic beam or a high school beam. Maybe the second
time was you know. My hope is that as I continue to go, I'll be on a tight rope across Manhattan and walk it easily, because me playing my game of entrepreneurship gives me so much energy that I'm able to deploy it in a positive manner at scale, and I find it fascinating, and so that is what I continue to go After that, Gary, forty minutes with you feels like an hour and two hours with someone else. Thank you man, Thank you best, Thank you. I appreciate you so much