Focus on the relationships at work as much as the work. One of the reasons why work is stressful is because we don't trust people and they don't trust us. It's stressful because we haven't built community. It's harder because we don't have relationships and people don't want to help and support us. And so don't be negligent or neglectful of people at work because you think, hey, it pays the bills, I took care of it. I'm out, because that actually
makes it harder. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. If you're here, you're here because you're dedicated to your health. You're dedicated to your mindset, you're dedicated to your well being, and you're dedicated to being one percent better every single day. That's all we're aiming for, that's all we're working towards because
we know that that stacks up, it adds up. And I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book Eight Rules of Love is out in literally like eleven days now, and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook.
If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eight Rules of Love dot com preorder the book today, and when you preorder it and you submit on the website, you'll actually get my free workshop called eight Cliches of Love for free. You'll get that as soon as you preorder the book. So make sure you preorder either the audiobook or the hardcover of eight Rules of Love dot com. I can't wait for you to read and hear it now. Today's episode is all about your well being and the workplace.
So I know we usually start January with some goals, with some intentions, maybe with some journaling and habit, and usually by this time we're starting to realize how difficult it is, and often our work can be a great source of stress, pain, and even burnout. And I really want to today look at this relationship between work and well being. Studies show that fifty seven percent of people who are burnt out report being less productive in the
last twelve months. Forty seven percent of people who are burnt out report producing lower quality work, and none of that feels good, right, none of that feels good. We don't enjoy being burnt out. We don't enjoy being exhausted. This is important to look at because there's a year by year increase in how many of us feel burnt out. In twenty twenty it was about twenty nine point six percent, and in twenty twenty one it was about thirty four point seven percent, and we know that number is rising
year on year. So, if you're experiencing burnout, if you're experiencing stress from work, whether you work at a company or for yourself or kind of in between, or maybe you've started a side hustle, if you experience any stress, any pain, any pressure, this episode is for you. I want you to send this to that friend that you've
been talking about burnout to all week. I know that these are conversations that you're having, and I hope that my conversations with you on the podcast help you navigate these. Some of the insights that I'm going to give today are truly game changes, like they're really going to flip the switch for you. And so I want you to listen all the way through to the end. So let's dive straight. In workplace stress is estimated to be the
fifth biggest cause of death in the United States. Around forty percent of workers identify their jobs as very or extremely stressful, and a troubling quarter of Americans identify their jobs as the number one source of stress in their lives. Now, the truth is, we're spending eight, ten, maybe even twelve hours at work, and so for it to be a cause of stress in our lives or a source of stress in our lives is highly difficult and uncomfortable because
we've got to go there for that long. We're spending more than half of our waking hours in the workplace. So I want to address work life balance in a new interesting way today. And often we think of it as work causes me stress, my home life has to be easier. But then we come home and we've realized there's stress at home. Maybe we're arguing with our partner, maybe we're irritable, the dishes are not cleaned, maybe there's stuff breaking down. Maybe there's so many other health challenges
that are coming about. So what ends up happening is that we have stress at work and stress at home and neither tend to slow down or become easier. The first thing I want to raise with you is that work becomes harder and more stressful when we're not growing or learning at work or about work. So what's really interesting is that there's this idea called eudemonic happiness. And the word eudemonic comes from the word udemonia in Greek,
which means good spirit and commonly translated as happiness. It's a beautiful word. I really love how poeticut is as well. But the idea of eudemonic happiness is that we derive happiness from optimal functioning and reaching our potential. These can be really great sources of happiness. It's almost like the joy that you feel or the fulfillment that you feel when you finish something, when you get over the finish line, when you complete something. And we've forgotten that, we've forgotten that.
We are trying to think of work as something like I need to get it done, need to get it out of the way, over avoiding work because there's a new challenge, there's a new stress. But actually so much of our well being comes from accomplishing things at work, feeling validated at work, feeling heard at work, feeling like
we have an impact at work. These are all important parts of our well being, and I think today one of the biggest reasons we're disengaged from work is we see work as a source of stress and we hope that home life is better. But stress will not disappear by trying to run away from work or trying to shut it off. It actually comes from connecting meaningfully at work.
So the goal is, how can we look at the work you've got going on right now and ask yourself, not how do I just deal with the stress, but what skills don't I have that would make work easier. I really really learned this the hard way. I realized that, you know, I've never built big teams. I've worked with
small teams. But as my company continues to grow, whether it's the podcast, whether it's my wife and I his tea company Joyo, whether it's writing more books that I really want to do, whether it's our genius community and our certification school, we have so many things going on, and I realized that one of my biggest weaknesses that was causing stress. See, your strengths don't cause stress, your weaknesses cause stress. One of my weaknesses was I didn't
know how to build teams. I didn't how to lead teams. And you can't just assume that because you have some ideas and insights and you're focused on something that you just know how to do everything. And so I found that the last two years I invested heavily in having a leadership coach, in reading leadership books, in sitting with really successful leaders and interviewing them and asking them questions.
What that did is it made my weakness as strength. Now, so much of my stress is decreased because I built a skill. Remember this, Skills decrease stress. Weaknesses increase stress. Right, skills decrease stress. When you're skilled, your stress gets lowered because you know you can handle it right. You believe you can handle it. You trust that you can handle and navigate whatever's being thrown at you. And so you demonic happiness is something that I really want you to
think about. It's that are you realizing your potential at work? Are you creating a growth plan at work? Have you identified the added skills that you need to develop and learn that are going to make you feel more fulfilled at work? For example, let's say you struggle with giving a presentation and you're always scared about that. Naturally, you're going to become more shy at work, You're going to
become more closed off. But now, guess what, You're going to start to notice that other people are giving preferential treatment because they do like presentations. You're starting to feel like you're falling behind all of a sudden. Work is a source of stress. Or you're someone who's looking at work and just thinking, wow, like too much is demanded
of me, too much is expected of me. But if you just look at that for a second and think, well, wait a minute, maybe there's a skill that if I learned, like timeboxing, like a specific time management tool, or maybe there's a particular software that's going to make me more effective and more productive at work, and in turn, that productivity and effectiveness is going to lead to satisfaction and fulfillment.
So don't underestimate how much work, just as it's a cause of stress, can actually be a source of strength and fulfillment because you feel validated in your efforts and what you achieve. The idea of achievement and accomplishment is not about the ego of getting there or showing off. It's biological right. The chemicals released during achievement and fulfillment. Completion of a task help us feel happier. And this
second point reaffirms the first. People who feel they have a good work life balance work twenty one percent harder than those who don't. And that's mind blowing, right. You think that if you had a work life balance, then that means everything's equal. Actually, those who feel like they
have a healthy balance, they actually work harder. They apply themselves more because studies show that we can handle more stress when it feels meaningful, when it feels productive, when it feels like we're achieving something, we can push ourselves. So I want to ask you what's a goal. The first question was what's a skill that you need to learn? The second is what's a challenge you're going to set yourself. What's a goal at work that you want to reach.
What's a goal at work that's important to you. What's something about work that's meaningful to you to get behind. I think often we look at our work as our tasks, and if we only look at it as tasks, we limit it to that very small step rather than looking at the bigger picture of how our work impacts our lives and other people's lives. If we're going to be there for that long, let's make it fulfilling and meaningful.
Let's not succumb to the feeling that for ten hours a day, I have to be miserable, stressed and want to get out of there, because that mindset sets us
up for more pain in stress. Now, one of the words that became very popular during the pandemic and post pandemic for workplace was flexibility, and fifty nine percent of people in a study reported that flexibility is more important to them than salary or other benefits, and seventy seven percent said they would prefer to work for a company that gives them the flexibility to work from anywhere rather
than fancy corporate headquarters. But here's the thing. Often we use words, and those words don't really communicate what we're truly looking for. And they found this through further studies where sixty one percent of employees reported that they would prefer if management allowed team members to come into the office when they need to and work from home when they need to. And so they've realized that it's not just flexibility. The real word is autonomy. And so I
want you to think about these two words. Flexibility means, yeah, sometimes we can work from home, and sometimes we can work from the office or a coffee shop or whatever it may be. Autonomy is I want to make that choice right, I want to make that choice. I want to be involved in that choice now. I think that a healthy workplace has a balance of both of these. I think there's flexibility, but there's also some autonomy, and you'll find people that are trusted more senior in organizations
as they grow. All people who are very productive and effective receive more autonomy. Maybe this is a really healthy conversation to have with your boss, To have with your manager and say, hey, I'm really looking for a sense of knowing where I can be most productive and effective, and why don't we trial it for a month. I think this month trial idea is really important because you're not saying, Okay, well this is how I want to work from now, and you're saying, well, let me prove it.
Let me show that I am more productive and effective from these places I think I am. I think often employers get scared that when people ask for flexibility and autonomy, it means that they're going to work less hard. And there's truth and reality in that. But if you're someone who's highly self aware, and you can say, oh no, well, actually, I know that when I want to be creative, I'm more creative in a coffee shop. I know that when I'm trying to be effective with the teams, I want
to be in person. I don't want to be on zoom. And then I know there's days when I'm stressed out about my kids and I need to be around them and I'd rather work from home. Right, That's a really healthy way to look at it. Stop trying to make these blankets statements where you're like, I just want to work from home. I just want to work from the office.
So I want to work from wherever. It's healthy when you think, wait, what's going to make me better at work and what's going to make me better at home? And so I think what we're really looking for is autonomy even more than flexibility. Autonomy is the idea that we have choice in how we spend our time. Flexibility is knowing that there is a bit of both. And so I would highly recommend that you have and openly
communicate that. But if you are going to communicate that with someone, explain where you're going to spend what time. A lot of people will be like, yeah, I want to choose where I work from, but it's coming from a place of left the g and trying to do the least as opposed to do more and give more back. Now I want to share with you point number four is this story that has always stayed with me. It's
a story that's been told for many, many years. I think I've read about it first in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which is one of my favorite books. And in this book, there's a story of a person who takes a job as a woodcutter, and he gets employed, and he starts to cut. The person who employs him sets him on his way, trains him how to use the saw, and he goes out and the first day he cuts twenty trees and he thinks, oh, this is amazing.
This is great. Now. The next couple of days he hits the same but a few days later he only came back with fifteen trees, and he worked the same hours. He put in the same effort. A few days later, he only cut ten trees, worked the same hours, put in the same effort. A few days later he only cut five trees. Worked the same hours, put in the same effort, even a little few more hours, even a bit more effort, but his effectiveness and impact was going down.
It was really interesting. The person that hired him said to him, you know what's happening. What's up? Like, what's going on? He went from twenty to five and the woodcutter said, I have no idea what's going on? And this is the sign of good leadership and management. The leader of the company, the manager, said, you know what it is. It's that you never sharpened your saw. You're cutting with the blunt saw. On day one, I gave you a sharp saw so you could cut trees with
that energy and strength. But every day, as you cut more trees, the blade became more blunt, and the more blunt it became, the less impactful it was. So remember to sharpen the sore. So I ask you all, what are you doing to sharpen your sword. This is why we do need a break for those of us that are on the other end of the spectrum where we work too hard. We may love what we work, we take on all the stress for work. That's not healthy either,
because now our creativity plummets. Now our productivity plummets. Right, it's both extremes. If we're just being lazy and lethargic, we don't achieve anything, so we miss out on the happiness of accomplishment. And if we're being overproductive and over efficient, we lose creativity, We lose that spark, we lose that intensity and buzz. And so I want to encourage you to take time out, to take that break and to do things that are refreshing. Things that are refreshing include
going to sleep early. Things that are refreshing include spending time with good friends and having deep, vulnerable, open, funny, hilarious conversations. Things that are good for you in that scenario include having sensory deprivation. I really believe one of the things that I like to do here is something called a sensory deprivation tank, which is basically like this capsule which you sit inside. You're floating in water which has magnesium in it, and it's really therapeutic, really relaxing.
The goal of it is to be completely reducing stimulation and sensory overload. Now you can do that yourself. It may be at bath, it may be sitting in a quiet room in your home, it's just allowing your senses to not constantly be triggered by adverts, by messages, notifications. Right, if you're feeling that overwhelm, it's coming because we're not
having this sensory deprivation. When I go to India, I always take people to Rishikas, which is at the foothills of the Himalayas, and we often go to meditate in the caves there. And the reason why, I mean, it sounds cool, right, but the caves are really powerful because it's sensory deprivation. When you walk into a cave and you just walk in maybe even ten twenty thirty meters deep, you can't see anything, right, it's dark, it's still, it's silent.
Our senses need that more than ever today because from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed, you're being bombarded with news, noise, notifications, and negativity. So we need time in our day, even if you don't meditate or you don't know how to spend time where your senses are not constantly being triggered and demanded. Okay,
point number five is the great outdoors. We've heard this time and time again that it's important to spend time outdoors, especially in green spaces, and a RESET study found that people who take short breaks in nature improve their performance by twenty percent compared with those who went on a
walk in a busy urban area. Now, I know that's tough in certain cities, but even if you can get to a small park or a larger park if possible, or a hike or whatever, surrounds yourself with trees and nature. And the reason for this links to the last point I was making as well, is that natural environments actually replenish your brain, whereas urban ones require your brain to stay alert, which drains your mental resources. If you think
about that for a second. Right, when you're walking down a road, you have to think about traffic, you're looking at the stores, someone may say something weird or look at you different. Right, you've got all these alerts, whereas when you're in nature. I went from my morning hike, I may say good morning to a few people on the way that I bump into, but beyond that I can just absorb the green in nature. So what I
recommend you do is every hour five minutes, three things. Walk, water, window, get up and walk, even if it's indoors, If you can get outdoors, do it. Walk to a window if you can't get outdoors, and look out as far as possible, as far into the distance till your eyes can hopefully spot some green And if they can't spot some greens, just look into the sky. And the third is water to hydrate. If you can do that five minutes on every hour, I promise you the rest of those fifty
five minutes will be a lot easier. And it's even more important because, according to the ergonomics team at Cornell University, sitting for longer than twenty minutes has negative effects on your body, including back and neck problems, which we all know about, right We've all experienced this, And research shows that stand up desks can boost productivity and cognitive function, and standing up helps you burn calories, it helps you
stretch out, increases blood flow, and engages your core, your glutes, and your leg muscles so you're fully present and even do hit a little bit of a workout. And so the idea of twenty minutes, and it's not natural, right, Like, even while I'm recording this podcast, I'm sitting for most
of it. And so even if every hour you can get up for five minutes and stretch, as I said, walk water window, and remember that it starts breaking up these patterns and breaking up these bad habits that we've developed and that just become a part of our everyday life. And so we can even find that balance in our work day. Now, one of the things that a lot of us are experiencing is brain fog, and I hope
this one really resonates with a lot of you. I think for a lot of us, one of the biggest reasons why we feel stressed from our tasks and work is that work is plastered everywhere. Maybe you have posted everywhere where, maybe you have notes everywhere, maybe you have you know, just multiple documents open, multiple tabs open. And what we realize is that the brain is just not
good at dealing with a lot of things. Right, when you're experiencing, even if you're not feeling stressed, you can deal with up to seven things only, and when you are stressed, you can only deal with three things. Right. Our ability to deal with more stressful things diminishes by more than half. And so if you've got stuff everywhere and it's not organized, it starts to create a lot of untidiness externally and internally. Now, most successful people and
productive people don't even use to do lists. They have scheduled tasks. So one of the things that I use is time boxing, where all the tasks are already in my calendar, and so I can just open up my calendar every day and look at what I have to do next. I don't have to think about what I have to do next. I don't have to plan for
how long it will take. So switch away from to do lists and switch towards time boxing, right to do list or a thing of the past, because the problem is you make it to do list, then you're trying to decide, well, which one do I do next? You wasted time. Then you think, well, how long is that going to take? I don't know. You wasted time. Even if you ticked off everything off your to do list,
there's always more to do and it feels overwhelming. And if you don't tick off things off your to do list because you didn't give yourself a certain amount of time, sometimes tasks that shouldn't take that long get extended for such a long period of time. And so I really want you to consider the practice of time boxing. I'll do a whole session on it as well, hopefully sooner.
But time boxing is basically the idea that every Sunday you sit down and you look at what you have to achieve the week ahead, and you actually put it in the calendar and give it a set amount of time. So you have only two hours to record a podcast in script here, you have only one hour to have
a meeting, or thirty minutes to have this meeting. You don't just move with oh yeah, I'll go for lunch and maybe it'll be four hours, maybe it won't, maybe I'll get this done, because then you lose that feeling of fulfillment and accomplishment. I want to share with you one last thing on today's episode, and I hope this really hits you, and I hope it really helps you focus on the relationships at work as much as the work. One of the reasons why work is stressful is because
we don't trust people and they don't trust us. It's stressful because we haven't built community. It's harder because we don't have relationships and people don't want to help and support us. And so don't be negligent or neglectful of people at work because you think, hey, it pays the bills. I took care of it. I'm out because that actually makes it harder. So I hope today has given you a different view. I didn't want to just give you
a bunch of wellbeing tips, which you already know. I know you practice those, but I actually wanted to change your relationship with work. And I promise you if you took notes today, share them on Instagram, pass this along to our friend, discuss how you can do this with each other, and I'll see you on another episode of On Purpose. Thank you so much. I hope that you go and grab my new book, Eight Rules of Love at eight Rules of Love dot com, and come and see me on tour at Jshy tour dot com. I'm
bringing love to a city near you. I cannot wait. Thank you.