You know, the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath. Your family changes, your friends change, the country you live in changes, your jobs change, he said, everything in your life changes to what you look changes, what you like changes, what you wear changes. But your breath stays the same, and it stays with you. It's always with you. Hey, everyone, welcome back to One Purpose, the
number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every single week to listen, learn, and grow. What an amazing, amazing week it has been. I hope that you've had an incredible week two and I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love is out and I can't wait to share it with you. I am so so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen
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I can't wait to see you this year and whether you've been feeling challenged, pushed, weakened, strengthened, more empowered. Whichever end of that spectrum you're on, you're alive, you're breathing, You're here, and that makes a difference. That is extremely, extremely powerful. It's really fascinating to think about that. I saw a clip recently and I can't remember exactly who it was, but they were having this conversation about whether
money or breathing were more important. So they said, what if you got ten million dollars tomorrow in your bank account, but you didn't wake up you stopped breathing, or you can wake up tomorrow and be breathing but not have ten million dollars in your bank account. And everyone, of course said, well, I'd rather be alive than have money in my bank account but not be alive, which means that our life is more valuable than that amount of money. Our breath is more valuable than that amount of money.
When you think about that, you start going, wow, I take this breath for granted every day. How many times have you ever been out of breath? And when you finally catch that breath, you feel now, I feel centered. Or you've been running, you've been playing sport and finally you're able to take a full, deep breath, or maybe you're someone who struggles with asthma or has some sort
of breathing challenges. When you feel you can breathe, isn't it just a special feeling when your head's underwater, Right when your head's underwater and you come up for that breath, how amazing does that breath feel? Well, that's a breath that we can experience every day. And here's the thing. I didn't realize this until very very late on. I lost my voice during my time as a monk. I
had these extremely large polyps in my throat. I was constantly getting sick, I damaged my vocal words, was losing my voice, and I had to have these polyps lasered from inside of my throat. And then my doctor not only wanted me to practice speaking again, and I had to take vocal classes again. My voice sounded so different when I started talking again, my voice sounded really, really soft, and you kind have recognized it was me. Now, my
voice has gone back to normal pretty much. And I was also asked to do breathwork, and I'd been practicing breathwork as a monk as well, and it was really amazing because I'd been trained in the signs of breathwork spiritually and emotionally, and now I was being introduced to breathwork scientifically and from a vocal point of view. And today I want to share with you the five daily habits for managing your emotions and they all connected to your breath. Now, for those of you have read Think
like a Monk, you know this story. But even if you've heard it before, it's one of those stories that every time I tell her, I get goose bumps. It was my first day of monk school and I was watching around a ten year old monk teach a group of younger monks their first day of monk school as well. They were probably like six years old. And I was watching him and I was thinking, Wow, look at that
ten year old teaching. It's incredible. And after the class ended, I went up to him and I said, what was that? And he said, it's their first day of monk school. And he didn't say those words, but you know what I mean. And I said, amazing. What were you teaching them? He said, well, what did you learn on your first day of school? And I said, I think I learned the ABC's the one, two, three, And he said, well, we teach them how to breathe. And I said, what
do you mean, teach them how to breathe? Like what does that mean? Like why do you teach him how to breathe? And he said, well, you know, the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die, is your breath. Your family changes, your friends change, the country you live in, changes, your jobs change. He said, everything in your life changes to what you look changes, what you like changes, what you wear changes, But your breath stays the same, and it
stays with you. It's always with you. And he said, when you're happy, what changes your breath? When you're sad, what changes your breath? Your breath is connected to every emotion in your life. And so if you know how to navigate your breath, you will know how to navigate life. And I started thinking about that. I started thinking about how we use phrases like you take my breath away, and that's a positive thing. We say, well, just looking at you takes my breath away. So we're linking the
emotion of attraction to breath. But then we always say let me, let me catch my breath, I need to take a breath, or when you hear some big news, maybe challenging news, you may say, I just need to breathe. Notice how all of our emotions are so deeply interlinked and interconnected to our breath, but we've never been to
a class that teaches us how to breathe. And what was really fascinating for me is that when I started working with the vocal and breath coach afterwards, she was telling me how athletes learn how to breathe, musicians learn how to breathe, and how each and every single one of us should be treating our bodies like an athlete. And when I heard that, I was completely moved by that idea that we are all athletes because we use
our mind, we use our body. We are completely engaged mentally and physically every single day, yet we don't learn how to breathe. We all deal with emotions every day, but we don't learn how to breathe. And isn't that fascinating? Isn't that incredible that there is something we do every day but we've never been trained in how to do it. Now you may say, Jay, why do I need to train in how to do it? Because I'm alive. I
breathe just fine. Or what if I told you that this habit would change how you deal with stress, that this one habit could change the quality of your sleep, that this one habit could get you more energy when you need it. I'm sure you'd say, jam In, I'm in. Who doesn't want to sleep deeper? Who doesn't want to manage their stress better? Who doesn't want to be able to calm their nerves, reduce anxiety and fear simply through
one habit? Are you ready? Let's do it? So. The first type of breathing that I want to introduce you to is not even about breathing. It's called the five four three two one technique. And this technique is something I learned as a monk to increase presence, but today it's used by therapists and coaches and medical professionals, And I recently did this with Gail King on CBS this morning, and the five four three two one technique has been
created to help you feel grounded in the moment. How many times are you in a space but you're not internally there? You're there in physical presence, but you're not there in mental, emotional, spiritual presence. So to be somewhere and I want you to be where you are right now. Here's what I want you to do. What are five things that you can see? Could be the sky, and these are five things that you can see that you
can't touch. So it could be the trees, could be the sky, could be the ceiling, could be the wall. Bring your attention to those five things, one at a time, and taken a deep breath and natural breath and out gently close your eyes and lower your gaze. Now, what are the four things you can touch? Maybe your shirt, your trousers, the chair you're sitting on. Notice the difference in the coolness or the warmth, the harshness or the soft Bring your attention to each one of these, one
at a time, taking a deep breath and naturally out. Now, what are the three things you can hear? Might be the sound of my voice, the sound of your stomach, maybe a conversation in the background, or white noise. Allow them in and taking a deep breath and out. And what are the two things that you can smell? Could be a scent or a fragrance, taking a deep breath and out. And what's one thing you can taste taking a deep breath and out? How was that for you
just in a few moments. Don't you feel more present, more still, more calm, more grounded. Maybe you're breathing slower and deeper, maybe you're feeling a bit more clear. I hope you enjoyed that. So that's one thing I want you to practice. When you walk into a meeting room, when you walk into a zoom, when you walk into your room, when you finish the day of work and you're in your living space, take a moment to just do that. Take a moment to just feel that presence.
So that's habit number one. This one you can use at any moment, at any time. I usually use it when I feel my mind is everywhere and I feel I'm not really in this space and maybe distracted, and so when I go into a room, I always try and do this first. Now, the next thing I want to introduce you to is called diaforumatic breathing. Now I had to look this up when I first started hearing about it, and now when you look at medical sites, it describes the diaphragm as a large muscle that sits
below the lungs. It helps move air in and out of the lungs. So we're always told to breathe into your lungs, right, But actually diaforumatic breathing is deep and fully engages the diaphragm and increases the efficiency of the lungs. So normal breathing is pretty shallow and doesn't necessarily completely use the lungs in the way that they can be used. So what I want you to do is, I want you to place your left hand on your stomach and
your right hand on your chest. And diaforumatic or belly breathing involves fully engaging the stomach and the abdominal muscles. So what we're going to do is going to breathe in. But as you breathe in, you're going to feel your stomach come out. So when you inhale, breathe in through the nose, drawing the breath down towards the stomach, and you'll actually feel your stomach coming out, pushing against your hand,
and your chest remains still. And then when you breathe out, when your lips you're slightly open, and you'll feel your stomach go in to breathe in and feel your stomach go out and breathe out and feel your stomach go in in through your nose and out through your mouth. So diapheumatic breathing not only strengthens the diaphragm and stability in the core muscles, it lowers the heart rate and the blood pressure, reducing oxygen demand and allows you to
feel more relaxed. And this type of breathing of course, is allowing you to have deeper, more powerful breaths where your lungs are actually benefiting from the process. This one I recommend practicing throughout the day. You can do it for two to five minutes at a time, multiple times a day, whenever you feel like you're out of breath, whenever you feel like you're running around, you're rushing around.
This is a great one to practice. Now. The next one I want to share with you is today referred to as box breathing, or square breathing, and weberbad says it's a breathing technique that can help you slow down your breathing. It works by distracting your mind as you counter four, calming your nervous system, and decreasing stress in your body. So this is more directly linked to stress. The diachromatic breathing is the practice we use across all of these areas, and it can be used whenever, but
when you're actually feeling a deep bit of stress. So in this one, what we're going to do is we're basically doing the same type of breathing, but we're adding the counter four. So the reason why it's a box breadth is you're breathing in for four. Imagine a line going up, you're holding for four. Imagine a line going across. You're breathing out for four. Imagine a line going down and you're waiting for four. Imagine a line going across. So it draws a square and you can actually visualize
the square as you do this. So place your hands back in those same spaces, and I want you now to breathe in for a count of four, fel your stomach come out, and then hold for four out for four and then wait. So that's a test run. And the careful thing you have to do is as you breathe in, feel your stomach come out, and now as you hold, hold gently. This is actually training our mind to be able to hold without holding with pressure. Often we hold on to things, even things that stress us out,
by really holding them tightly. See if you can hold your breath gently and softly and then release and feel your stomach come in and then wait. So let's do it again together. Place your hand on your stomach in your chest. Breathe in two three four, hold two three four out two through four in two three four, hold two three four out two three four. This is an activity that may feel d or awkward at first, but you want to do it for about thirty seconds, which
will help you feel more relaxed and controlled. It was fascinating because recently I went on to the Breakfast Club. And when I was at the breakfast Club, I went
on the show. But before the show, I was greeted by security, and one of the men at security came up to me and said hello, and he was mentioning to me that his wife listens to the podcast, and he said to me that he used to be in the military and they we're trained in the military to do box breathing when you know before they were about to use a firearm because it would help control their breath.
And he was saying that so much of using weapons or even being in high pressure stress situations, breathing was used in military. Now you may say, well, that's fairly extreme, but I would say, aren't there times in our day that we feel we're having an internal battle? Aren't there times in our day where we feel so stressed and pressured by the people around us. I know that we're not experiencing it that extreme, but mentally it can feel
that way. And so I want you to think about how you can practice box breathing throughout the day in times of deep stress. And if four seconds it's too much, you can start with two or three seconds to help you start practicing. The goal is to breathe in and out and hold for the same amount of time, creating a square. Now I'm going to add I want you to make sure you're comfortable during these exercises like these are not exercises that I take exclusive time for. These
are exercises that I do at my desk. These exercises I do in the car. These are exercises I do all the time. What I like about that approach is that you don't have to carve out time for these. These are activities and habits that just slot into your day that you can do whenever you like. I want to share with you the biggest news of the year. How many of you want to meditate. I can see your heads nodding, I can see you raising your hands. I can see you saying, yes, Jay, I really want
to learn to meditate. How many of you would like to learn to meditate with me every single day? Now, I already know what the answer is because I know how many messages DMS reviews notes that I get saying Jay, I'd love to meditate with you. Last year, we took meditation to Instagram and I meditated for around forty days live and twenty million of you tuned in. Now I am taking that same focus, that same presence to Calm.
I've partnered up with Calm to release a new series called The Daily j where you can meditate with me every single day for seven minutes. To make it a real habit, I would love for you to come and join me and take part in building a really powerful meditation practice. And guess what we're going to do it together? Head over right now Calm dot com forward slash J
to get forty percent off a premium membership. That's Calm dot com Forward slash J. So we did the five four three to one, we did dia fromatic breathing, we did box breathing, and now I'm going to leave you with one more. And this happens to be my client's favorite one because it's the energizing breath also sometimes known as the fire breath, and the official way of saying is coppola butty pranayama. I know that's hard, so you
can just call it the k b P. Coppola but KBP. Right. So, now this is really fascinating because a shri Shi yoga teacher says that eighty percent of the toxins in our body are released through the outgoing breath. Regular practice of kapalabam detoxifies all the systems in our body, so it has massive benefits for detoxing. Right. It clears our sinuses, our lungs, the respiratory system of allergens. It invigorates and warms the system increases metabolism, which is really really powerful
of course, and in a very simple sense, it gives energy. Right. I usually practice this if I've got to the end of my day but I know I need to go out, I need to meet someone, I need to go to dinner, and I'm feeling tired. This is usually what I do. Or if I wake up in the morning and I feel tired in the morning, this is something that I practice as well. So what you want to do here is this is going to feel very unnatural because we don't breathe like this at all, but I want you
to stick with me. You going to take in a natural inhale, not too deep, not too shallow, just a natural inhale. But then on the exhale you're going to exhale actively and sharply. So the exhale is like a millisecond, so inhale, exhale, and it almost sounds like you're clearing your nose. But if you do it sharply and actively, you'll start to feel a pump. Now, with this one, I want you to go in your own pace, at your own time, and we're only going to do about
ten reps. And if you feel like continuing, you can do twenty. Now, it's not about the pace. It's not about how many you can do. It's not about how fast you can go. It's about how quickly you can release your abdomens. You breathe in, and you want to find a pace that was fairly fast, and you could. There are people that do it fast, but you can find a pace that's right for you. So you may do and you'll actually find that the inhale happens naturally.
When you sharply and actively exhale, the inhale happens naturally. So it may take you a few goals to feel comfortable with this, but I want you to try it out because whenever you're feeling tired, this will be fantastically energizing. Honestly, it's so powerful. And again you're only doing ten to twenty reps at a time, so you're not trying to go on for as long as you can. It needs to be built up with time. So these are the four habits that I wanted to share with you today
that are so powerful. This one's great for energy. The box breathing is great for stress. The diachromatic breathing is amazing, before sleep, and the five four three two one is for grounded. These are four daily habits that you can use throughout the day. They're like an open menu that will transform your breath, which will transform your experience of your life. I really believe that I do these before I send emails. I do this when I get a stressful email. I do this if I'm about to have
a difficult phone call. I practice these breathing patterns when I'm sitting in bed struggling to sleep. These breathing patterns have become my go to. See we already have go toos, but our go too is I can't sleep. Let me put a pill, I can't sleep. Let me go and have a snack. I feel tired, Let me eat sugar or cobs. Notice how you already have something you do. What if you could change what it is that you do? What if you could upgrade what it is that you do?
In order to not give in to those lower habits. I find that simply through breathwork, I can feel full, energized, focused and clear and rested. And for all of you who really really struggle, breathe in for four and out for more than four. Breathe in for four and out for more than four that will relax you or slow down your breath. I did a mini little challenge. I was watching whether I could control my breath in high
stress situations. So we did a experiment where there was a heavy metal rock metal band that was playing really fast and hard, and I had to sit next to them and lower my breath. And I found that going inward and focusing on my breath allowed me to slow down my heart rate even though the bass drum was going so fast. We tried the same in traffic. I
even did the same in a cold plunge. And that's what I found every single time, that in any of those places of high stress and high speed, by simply doing these activities, I was able to drop my heart rate and the breathing rate and allow myself to feel scented and calm, even in places of chaos. So I've tried and tested this. Athletes have tried and tested this. Musicians have tried and tested this. It's now your turn. Thank you so much for listening today. Now I have
to take an opportunity to do this. I waited till the end of the podcast because I wanted to get straight into it today, but I wanted to read just the amazing reviews. We have now seventeen thousand reviews, and I really really hope we can get to twenty thousand this year thanks to all of you. It really helps podcasts. So I want to read some of your reviews, and I want you to make sure you leave your name at the end of your reviews, because I want to
thank you and appreciate you now. This one says the world is better with On Purpose. I can't say good enough good things about On Purposed podcast. I'm listening to as many as I can every day and soaking up all these topics like a sponge. I share it with everyone I know. The world is a better place with Jay in it. Thank you. Thank you for all of your hard work so you can help everyone and especially myself. That means the world to me. I really really appreciate that.
This is another one that says love. J Eddy speaks to my heart so often and really has helped my relationships. Very very grateful. This one is from Juliana Almos inspiring the beginning therapist in a world where people are desperate to heal from the most painful wounds, I found Jay's podcast to be so enlightening and inspiring When I work
with families, couples, and individuals from across cultures. Each episode gives me an opportunity to further connect with myself as a person and to improve the quality of my therapeutic services. Thank you, Jay for all the work and love you put into each episode. I love that people are going to therapy, and I'm so grateful that so many therapists listen to on purpose. And this one says from Doug. I recently read Jay's book, Think Like a Monk and
really enjoyed the book. I was having some problems at work and home last year, and I feel like Jay's advice picked me up off the ground. I just found his podcast so that will and does continue to support me and give me courage. Twenty twenty two is shaping up to be amazing. I always love the relationship communication advice. Also, thanks Jay. From Doug. The reviews go on and on. I want to thank you all for leaving them. Please do take a moment to do that and I'll see
you again next week. Thank you