Oh hi, just a quick note up top. So this episode is all about cheese, and of course we touch on the history and the making and the science of it. We don't go into a lot about the dairy industry itself, because that would be a series of episodes. We do talk about veganism, We do talk about plant based options. Especially in part two, we talk about some animal ethics and some more sustainable cheeses. So we do talk about that.
But in general, if you are very, very opposed to anything that is animal product related, this one might not be your favorite episode, or you might learn some things that you can put in your toolkit if you were talking to people about a plant based diet. But I just wanted to give that heads up. I know dairies not for everyone, and I see you, I hear you. But for those that do like cheese, here we go. Oh hey, it's the monster who returns emails at four
pm on a Friday. Sorry everyone, Ali Ward, this is cheese. This is a top that you have told me you've been craving for years. It's a hot, stinky delivery that will melt in your ears.
Let's hit it.
So I use the internet to do the equivalent of hiding behind a plant hoping to catch the eye of this ologist, who is at the top of Culture's hot list of nine cheese Stars to Watch and has been featured in Fogue and Seber magazines. They're also the founder of cheese advocacy group Own Your Funk. They've won awards at the International Cheesemonger Invitational single handedly quartering a fifty pound round of parmesan with a knife and her two hands,
which is usually a four person job. And I slid into their DMS and when I got a return message, the heavens parted so excited. So let's talk cheese. But first, thank you to patrons. We have Patreon dot com slash ologies who for one dollar a month can submit questions ahead of time for theologists and wow, record number of questions. We had sixty four pages of questions for this ologists.
So this will shock absolutely no one. But this will be a two parter because it was too large a cheese wheel for once serving, we had to halve it up. So thank you also to everyone for wearing your ologies merch out in the wild to find each other. You can get a debt Ologiesmarch dot com and for no dollars. Thank you for leaving us reviews, all of which I read and then is proof I highlight a fresh one, such as this one from Great Workout APO, who called
Ologies the best podcast for the former curious child. Also, if you're not even a former child, but a current one and you need some g rated shorter classrooms, say versions of Ologies, we have them. They're called smologies smologies, and they're available wherever you et your podcasts. They're in their own feed that's linked to the show notes. Also, thank you to Sponsored to the show for making it possible to donate to not one, but two causes of
the ologists choosing this time. Okay, onto Fromology. It comes from the French fromage for cheese. And in this two part episode you will hear about soft cheeses, hard ones, vegetarian ones, vegan ones, what exactly goes into cheese? How to set up a cheeseboard that will impress the most French of dinner guests if it's actually aged in caves. The ethics of dairy cheese history, different warm blooded animals whose milk is used for cheese, Some might not appetize you.
American cheese side eye. The stinkiest cheeses, the orange versus the creamy white, shootyodorizers, crunchy cheese crystals, and how to chat up amonger And come back next week to learn how to properly store cheese, The grilled sandwich Debate, how to make cheese at home, cheese pricing, squeaky curds, The Moon's composition, How cheese changes your brain chemistry, the Ultimate
Charcuteri board, plus holes, crystals and maggots. Oh my with this stunning two parter featuring professional food educator, certified cheese professional and phromologist Kira James, Kiera James she Her and okay, pharmologist, cheesemonger cheese expert. To me, they're all the same, but is there a distinction in the cheese world.
There isn't so much a distinction in the cheese world. But it's such a small, nice little family that we all kind of work together and have interchanging roles. There are different levels in the industry of sort of your expertise over time. After doing anything for a period of time, you get better and better at it, and so there are various scholarly certifications you can take. You can become a certified cheese Professional, which is what I did.
And now you have a master's in gastronomy. Did you have cheese elements within that or did you go into it as cheese or oriented or were you like in the world of gastronomy, studies like the cheese unit really resonated.
There is a cheese category in the degree now, but at the time I didn't enter into the master's program with the goal of learning about cheese. There are mentions of it throughout, you know, the history class, so I'm sure there was some cheese sprinkled in throughout the degree, but it was more over our food degree with a lot of social sciences, anthropology things like that.
Oh I didn't realize that there was so much history and anthropology in that kind of degree. I thought it would all just be like this boils at this temperature. But what do they cover in a master's of christronomy.
So the core classes are history, food, and the senses. You learn about how to use your senses and how other people have used their senses to educate and to learn about food and to grow the world of food through the senses. There's lots of focuses like food market, the Anthropology of food is another one, so a lot of social sciences. Food and gender was another class that was really spoke to me a great deal. Food and wine is another sort of aspect of the degree. I
took classes in the marketing in the business school. I took classes in the hospitality and tourism department. So you really can make it your own degree. But it's all center drama. Social sciences of food.
I feel like you could do a whole degree on just when someone comes around and just like say, when on the parmesan, I feel like there's so much psychologically that happens in that moment.
For sure, you're very empowered. It's a very empowering moment to say one.
I'm always like, if I keep going, are they going to judge me?
Yes?
And if I say that's plenty too early? Am I gonna think? On the whole drive home I could have gotten more cheese at it. I don't know.
You got to wait it out extra.
So can you tell me a little bit about when your life became a cheese oriented? What was it that kind of was your entree? No pun intended on God.
Yeah, So I needed a job to finish paying for my master's degree I had, you know, saved some money, but I needed a job. So I applied for job on Craigslist at the time, and it was for a cheesemonger position at one of the oldest cheese shops in America. I didn't know at the time how prestigious it was, but I really very quickly learned of its prestige as I started working there. And then I had a Naha
moment when I tried certain cheeses. So, you know, learning about cheese, you have to taste it, you learn about the stories and where it comes from, and all these really fun facts about cheese and all these things that I had never even knew were things that you can do with food, let alone a perishable food like cheese, so all the different ways you can create it. And so there was a cheese from Iowa that is a cheddar that when I had.
It, it was like my Aha moment. It's called Prairie Breeze.
It's very widely available now, but at the time it was a little bit smaller producer.
Just it's a delicious cheese.
It's made by Mennonite people in Iowa, and they don't use a lot of.
Electricity to create the cheese. So it's a lot.
Of old traditions and old school approach to cheese making, and they make these amazing cheddars, and so as I learned more about cheese, I just really became in love with the stories and the flavor, and sort of the rest is history from there.
So I look this up and apparently there are twist on. An aged cheddar has a pasty, fodgy texture with crunchy crystals and a tangy but nutty umami flavor. And they call this cheese affordable enough for back of the house, yet sophisticated enough for front of the house. But also this particular creamery boasts that they source milk from small, high quality and hygienic local dairy farms within thirty miles
of their cheese making creamery. And now I'm making up a whole backstory narrative about this pastoral dairy community and maybe how they all know each other and like hot tub together or give each other dating advice. I don't know. Is that kind of part of the allure of it, is learning all these different backstories.
I think that's part of it.
So from the outside, you think you know cheese is mass produced by a few really big companies and that's it. And yes they are producing the most cheese out here and serving the most people. But were diversity and all the fun sort of nuances of the industry come into play are with those small producers. And small doesn't have to be, you know, a mom and pop operation. It can be a family run or a little bit bigger.
But the idea is it being something that you can point to and say, this is where this cheese comes from. This what the animals are eating, This is what the farmers are doing to take care of them, this is what they're doing to make the cheese. So the smaller producers are really where you can learn about who's making the biggest impact in their small, little environments.
Just a side note up top here, I know so many listeners are plant based for environmental and ethical and animal cruelty reasons. I definitely encourage you to look deeper into that, and I'm more than happy to do a future episode on veganism. Actually we're cooking one up as we speak on that, so stay tuned. But if you're one of the many thousand listeners who really wanted to hear about the science and the history of cheese from
an expert. Because you love cheese, this is a good incentive to consider the types of cheese that you consume and the practices of smaller creamries and just the origin of your food in general, and that good cheese may be pricier and we'll talk more about why in Part two, as well as cover some vegan cheese options. But strike up a convo with your creamery people at the neighborhood
farmers market. Chat up a local manger. That's one thing I love about cheesemongers, especially the ones who are really passionate. I live near a place called Milk Farm, which is a great cheese shop and my favorite cheesemonger. They're rue. Whenever I go in to get cheeses. They always tell me the backstory of different ones and why I might like something, And I always feel like I leave there with like a history lesson, which is so cool. Like when I eat the cheese, I remember, well they told
me about it. I feel like a lot of that passion really comes through when people are cheese people, you know.
Yes, passion is definitely a big consistency throughout any cheesemonger cheese professional having passion for the industry is really important, and being a storyteller is another part of the job. So we're so excited about the stories that it's hard not to share them with everybody that comes into.
Our world learning about cheese.
It's hard to stop once you start talking about those things. And I love that Rude keeps it going for you. Every visit you get another experience that they can explain to you.
Yeah, what do you feel like? Is the most common question people ask you about cheese.
The most common question I'd say is can you eat the rind? Oh, that's a very big question. People get very hesitant about the rind and if they can eat it. People ask about pasteurization and raw milk pretty consistently, but overall, they just want to know where products are coming from. So the type of cheese that it is, who made it, how old is the cheese? And then another very common question is how to pair it?
What do you eat with this cheese?
Because everyone likes to know what a cheese professionals preferences are for paring cheese. So what beverage would you pay with this? So what accouture amount would you pay with this?
It's not just meat that has charcotery anxiety. If like, do I have enough? Do I have a good balance on this charcuterie board? You know you want like a soft one and a hard one, maybe a smokey one, which is why a cheese munger is the best. If you're like, I got people coming over, they're French, help me out what do I put on this thing? But okay, let's start at the basics. What is cheese? Cheese comes from milk, but I don't know curds, way, what is it?
Yeah, so cheese is a fermented food. So you start with milk and you add only three ingredients to the milk to create cheese.
Each of those.
Ingredients has a very specific role that they play. Cultures, rented, and salt. They're added at different points in the process to the milk, and then through the power of science, the milk is turned into solids and liquid. Curds are the solids, the proteins and the fats, and whey is the liquid, the sugar and the water, and so you separate the two and then you drain out the liquid.
The way is never wasted. On a quality farm, there's lots of nutrients in the liquid, so that's going to be used for some purpose, and then the curds are used for cheese making, and from there the options are pretty much endless. At the beginning of the process. You know what type of cheese you want to make. At the end and so you're going to take the steps to make that type of cheese.
So to recap milk, cultures, rennet, salt, so.
Cheese is just those four ingredients. You separate the curds from the way, and then you take those curds and you create your final cheese. You might serve it fresh. It might be your fresh cheese like mozzarella or ricata, or it might be something that has to be put into a form, put on a shelf for a year, and then consume, like parmesanicmagiano.
I always wondered with like curds and curdle. If you add an acid to your latte, like let's say you try to make a lemon latte with the whole milk, it's gonna get chunky? Is that kind of what's happening with cheese, but on like a larger curd level.
Sort of, Yeah, there's some interactions between the acid and the lemon and the dairy products, so you can create cheese using acids like lemon juice or vinegar at home. They're going to act as a natural what we call coagulant, so they're going to naturally separate the curds from the way. So when you add the lemon to the dairy and you see that happening, you're kind of corragulating your milk. So you're kind of creating those first few steps of
the cheese making process without really trying to. It won't taste much like cheese, but the textures will begin to change just because of that acid and how it interacts with the proteins and the fats in the milk.
But in the case of most cheeses, it's the enzymes in rennet, specifically one called chymesin, which cleaves a certain bond of caseine proteins in the milk. And we'll talk more about rennet in a minute, but if you want to get specific, chymesin breaks cappa casine into hydrophobic paracappa caaseine, meaning broadly that the liquids and the solids in milk separate because of that ensmatic action. Hence, curds and whey, which, if you remember from Miss Muffet her separated milkshake brings
all the spiders to the art. I always wondered what happens to the way when you say that they don't waste it. Does it get fed back to goats or does it become protein powder? Like? What happens with.
That great question? Yeah, all the aboves.
So for a smaller farm, they may feed the way to other animals on the farm.
They may make other cheeses from the way.
So you can make ricotta from whey. There's still some proteins and fats in that liquid that you can coagulate and you know, extract from the way to create ricotta. For larger producers, that's definitely where the way is going is to weigh powder. So when people are protein powders for athletes or gym rats or people who want to get muscle mass, they might consume weigh protein in that form,
but it's definitely something that is not wasted. They can use it on the grounds, like to help grow grass as a natural so there's lots of ways to use. There's so much nutrients in there that something's going to be done with it.
For sure.
Take me back in history. How long has planet Earth had cheese? Is there a consensus among the tight knit cheese community on this.
The first traces of cheese go back to eight thousand BC, so about ten thousand years ago, and it really starts with the Neolithic people, when humans went from hunter and gatherers to agricultural communities where they actually planted foods, domesticated animals, and they were milking dairy animals, mostly sheep and goat.
At the time, there weren't cows, and they would leave the milk out over a period of time in the sun because they were in the Fertile Crescent, So in that part of the world, it's very hot and warm, and so just by sitting the milk out in the field in the sun, it would naturally ferment the milk and create cheese. So there's traces of sort of that fresh cheese dating back to eight thousand DC.
That's bonkers. I would have thought it was, like, I don't know, seventeen hundreds. Maybe the notion that the pastries really didn't pop off until like the seventeen Like, I would think that cheese is a relatively new invention. Super wrong here, super wrong as pastries have been around since at least ancient Egyptian times, and I should have known that because we have a stellar episode called Gastro Egyptology about resurrecting millennia old yeast from this ancient pottery to
bake bread. But while people have been making pastries for thousands of years, I was semi correct that baked desserts did indeed pop off in the seventeen hundreds when this French guy named Antwine Kerramet absolutely began nailing pastry innovations. Why then, because colonization and the enslaved of humans on sugar cane plantations in places like the Caribbean and what would become the United States, which just exploded sugar consumption
and demand in Europe. Now for more on the horrors of plantations and how that history continues to affect ecology now, and for more on the brilliant folks who coined the field of critical ecology, I'll link that episode with doctor Suzanne Pierre in the show notes, if you have ever eaten sugar, you should hear it now to further kill your boner. The majority of cane sugar refinement still relies on cattle bone jar making it questionably vegan at best.
But if that's a concern, you can look for raw sugar, vegan sugar, or labels saying it's organic. That means it's made without couchar. Now, as for cattle, I was like, when when were cows invented? Human beings began domesticating cows about ten thousand years ago from this now extinct species of bovine of cow parts. I'm so glad you mentioned rennett because that is a mystery ingredient that I don't quite understand. So cheese is milk, salt, rennet and.
Cultures or bacteria.
Yeah, So what's the rennet component?
So that's the real coagulant.
So that's the most powerful thing that you really need to get things moving. Renn It is a natural microorganism, mostly enzymes. There are different types of rennet, but the most traditional rennet is called animal rennet, and that has to be found in certain animals in their linings of their stomachs. When these mammals are born and they're consuming only milk, they need to be able to digest that.
So the rennet enzymes in their stomach actually break down the milk when they're consuming it, and so we use those same enzymes to break down milk for cheesemaking in the natural form, so it can be animal rennit. You also can do vegetarian rennet, So for any vegetarians out there who do onlyed any animal byproducts at all. There are rennets that are not made from animals. Those are from thistle like artichoke, fig sap are a few of
the more common ones. And then there's microbial rent where you can actually create it in labs now today using natural enzymes that are coming from the plants and coming from molds and yeasts. But the quagulant, the thing that separates the curves from the way is what rennet is.
How is rennet harvested from animals? It seems like it would be cheaper to get it for micro organisms or artichoke or thistle.
What do I know?
But is it easier to obtain from animals? I have no idea. I am absolutely in the dark about this, so I don't know anything.
So well, today, you know, in the modern times, you can buy rent it online and capsules. That's what I have in my freezer. They stay fresh longer in the freezer. But you can buy rent it online, but you also can purchase stomach linings like dried stomach lining to add to your cheese making process. So you know, thinking about the make process, you have to kind of focus on the positive in the make process. But they do come from the stomachs of.
Animals, Okay.
So some purists like to say that rennet comes only from the enzymes in the desiccated fourth stomach chamber of young ruminants, which can contain up to ninety five percent chymisin,
but most cheesemakers use rennet. The term is just to catch all for any enzymes that curd the milk, and a lot of cheeses, including kosher and vegetarian cheese not vegan but vegetarian with no animal parts, use enzymes including chymosin, derived from either natural or in seventy percent of cheeses made worldwide using genetically modified micro organisms that spit chymasin out, according to the twenty twenty two textbook Value Edition in
Food Products and Processing through Enzyme Technology, which you can read if you become deeply, deeply curious about cheesemaking. What about the salt Is that just for like yum yum factor or does that help with like osmotic reactions.
Salt is mostly added for flavor. It's added to slow down the make process. It interacts with the curds to bring out more of the flavor, to extract more of the liquid when you're adding it to the curds. But it's mostly added for flavor. So you'd add it to most cheeses towards the end of the make process, either rubbing on the outside of the cheese wheel or adding it straight to the curds. For mozzarella, you're adding it
to the liquid when you're stretching the curds. So it depends on what type of cheese you're making, but it's usually added towards the end of the make process, and it is added mostly for flavor or to help enhance flavor.
Is the make process? Is that the right word make and mak e? Is that the forming of the curds, And then there's the aging process? Like are there different concrete steps that cheese makers know about?
I think that's about right.
Yeah, there's the make process that sort of gets you from liquid to solid, and then you need to put it into its final form, so you might have a plastic form that you're going to add these curds in curds can be large, curds can be the size of grains of rice. They're different sizes depending on what you're making. And then it goes into the final form. And then yes,
it goes into the aging process. So there's the make process and then the aging process, because the aging process has its own intricate steps that you have to follow and basically babysit and nurture and care for the cheese until it's at its full ripeness.
I've seen places with just like home depot, but all cheese just stacked like huge wheels of parmesan stacked to the ceiling. And I'm curious where has cheese taken you? Like do you go on business trips to Wisconsin? Like do you are there weird caves in Italy that you've got to go to?
So I've been to all of the ends of this country to visit producers to learn about their products, just for fun, just to help educate myself on where these products come from.
Okay, Wisconsin, does it have good cheese or does it have good pr great question?
I would say both.
Okay, Wisconsin makes the most cheese of any state. Wisconsin's been making cheese since Wisconsin was established as a state, so I mean they have come a long way. There's a lot of history. There, a lot of European history in Wisconsin, so the European traditions came over with the settlers, and those traditions have been passed down for generations to generations. So there's a reason why they make the most cheese and why it's the most consumed because it's good cheese.
Now at that po when you think about how much they're making, they're also creating a lot of the mass produced cheeses, things that you can get at restaurants or in fast casual situations. But they also have artists and producers. But they also a really good pr and I think it's roughly a dollar pound of cheese that they will give for marketing. They have festivals, they do great marketing
on social media, they do great marketing in stores. So yes, marketing is definitely a big part of Wisconsin's success.
I think, hey, Sam, the cheeseheads.
You and run me through the types of cheeses. We talked about the softest cheeses, and it just boggles me that there are goopy camel bears. And then there are cheeses, hard cheeses that like you need a sharp knife or a peeler for I have no idea how they get that way. Is it the cultures? Is it the amount of time they're sitting in a rind on a shelf? Can you break down how many we should know so that when we go to our cheesemonger we're not like a lost.
Yes, I mean there are over two thousand types of cheese created around the world, if not more than that. So to categorize it, you can do it in a few different ways. You can do it by texture so fresh, soft, semi firm, hard, process, or you can go into it more from a style perspective. Now, when you think about it from a style perspective, then you're getting into the make process. Because each style of cheese has a different
make process. They use different cultures, they use different techniques for cutting the kurds, they use different techniques for aging. So when you're making a camember versus a gouda, you're doing something very very different in the beginning steps of your make process to get to the end result. So, yes, they all start as the same. For ingredients, but as they age, they become their different style of cheese. So there are seven to eight styles of cheese, depending on
who you ask. So fresh is definitely so a fresh cheese is just as it describes, no rind, only a few days or minutes or hours old mozzarella or cota burrata those cheeses. Then you have soft ripened, which are things like brie, Camembert. Goat cheeses from France are often soft ripened. These are ones that have a white rind or a rime that looks sort of like a brain,
those wrinkly rindes. Those are soft ripened cheeses. Then you have washed rine cheeses, which are the ones that smell like feet, the super stinky guys, the ones that they're washing to create those ascetics.
And what are they washing them with?
They could wash.
Them with all sorts of things. The most common thing that you wash cheese with is a salt water solution, so like a brine solution, it helps certain bacterias thrive, and those bactiers are what create the smell and the color of these cheeses. So washed rine cheeses also are typically have an orange or peach hue to the rind, and you can smell them form a mile away. Those are all characteristics of the bacterias that are added or created when you.
Wash the cheese.
Oh okay, and then you can get into the cheddars. You have gouda, you have blue cheese. And then you can still talk about ferm cheeses. I still have a category called ferm because some cheese don't fit into a category.
They're just a firm cheese.
A lot of the American originals that we create here don't have a specific name for the type of cheese that it is. It's just what the cheesemaker made. So you can also just have a firm cheese, like we say, Tom style cheese. Oftentimes, where it's a certain shape.
Some makers will just do their own thing and it doesn't necessarily fit the proverbial cheese mold.
So those are the basic styles of cheese.
I mean, those are the ones that I would use to talk to my cheesemonger. If you like a hard cheese, then go with or soft cheese or semi soft cheese. Those are perfectly good ways to describe cheese to a manger as well. You don't have to know the styles of cheese to you know, to categorize.
Them, is processed cheese and cheese.
In my opinion, process cheese is not a cheese, Okay, it's a processed food product because of how I define cheese in terms of those four ingredients in the fermentation process. A cheese product like American cheese craft singles have even more ingredients. They have emulsifiers. They're made of a cheese blend, so you're actually blending cheeses together to make American craft cheese, so that in itself makes it not a real cheese.
It's a cheese product, So American cheese. It can be a chimera of at least two cheeses, usually a Cheddar and a Colby cheese, Colby being named after Colby, Wisconsin, population two thousand, which on July eighteenth host its annual three day coldb Chees Days festival, which involves a bench press contest, banngo tractor pulls, foodstalls, and a quote real
Cheese parade, which is as American eisikits but yes. American cheese is a combo of a few varieties plus one of three salts derived from citric acid, effectually known as E number E three three. One fun fact, sodium citrate is also added to blood donations as an anticoagulant because it tends to befriend and bind with calcium ions, which prevents the calcium from staying too cozy with the proteins that love to clump, especially in the case of cheeses,
the more aged cheeses. And we'll get to more on cheese and digesting it in a moment, but first let's take a quick break to talk about sponsors of oologies who make it possible to donate to a cause of
the ologist choosing. And this week Kira shows two, one for each part of this cheese duo episode, and they are the Cheese Culture Coalition, which works to create a more equitable and inclusive cheese industry for Black, Indigenous, and people of color through education and grant programs and via Cheese Culture Coalition dot org you can find out more about their programs, you can donate, or you can fill out a form to volunteer on their committees and fundraisers.
And the second donation is going to Team Ups building Schools in Kenya, which Kira says is a great organization run by a dear friend of hers. And they work to ensure that Kenyan children receive the education they need and provide communities with easily accessible, clean and sustainable water sources. You can find out more or donate at go team up dot org. We'll link those in the show notes
and thank you to sponsors for making those donations possible. Okay, so next week we're going to tackle your heap of questions, patrons. But since this is a mega episode, let's keep this cheese wheel rolling through the basics. Perhaps the thought of cheese is making your stomach rumble and it's not good. Let's say lactose is an issue. Which cheeses are more friendly to your guts?
Another very popular question. So I'm glad you asked so to start, most cheeses have little.
To no lactose.
Who So that is a misconception that we will, we as mongers, will forever be fighting against because so many people think that they're lactose intolerant because they have stomach issues when they eat cheese. But it's not always the
type of cheese, but the amount of it. It's still a fermented product, it's still dairy where our bodies are not fully able to digest, no matter how much intolerant or tolerant you are, there's still a threshold of how much you can eat before it begins to upset your stomach. When you melt cheese, also that changes the dynamic of it, So you could be more sensitive to melted cheese than you are too hard cheese. So that's something else think about. But most cheeses have no lactose, and so to avoid
lactose you want to look to harder cheeses. So the cheeses that have lactose will be softer because I mentioned that the lactose are the sugars in the cheese, and the sugars are found in the moisture in the liquid. So the less liquid or less moisture you have in your cheese, the less lactose you have in your cheese.
So fresh cheese will have the most.
So maybe avoid a young, spongy cheddar or havardi or pizza with mozzarella or ricotta in lasagna. Those younger ones will have less of their lactose broken down into lactic acid. So harder cheeses have less lactose because it's been broken down. And according to the Cheese and Death website article how to eat cheese when you're lactose intolerant. Yes, you can eat cheese without destroying your insides. Even if ice cream destroys you. Cheese can be your friend. And any cheese
aged two months or more is virtually lactose free. So go sharper, go home to the toilet.
And then also goat's milk. Goats milk has the least amount of lactose in terms of the main milk types that are used to make cheese. Goat smoke cheeses are the ones that I would suggest for people with very sensitive lactose issues.
Are there any animal cheeses that have surprised you that you've had? Like, have you ever had like horse milk? What animals do we make cheese from their milk?
So the most common and the ones that are legal in America are cow, sheep, and goat. But then there are also cheeses made from camels. Donkeys are the other two most popular. There's also water buffalo what that we have here in America? So buffalo mozzarella. When you hear that that's made from water buffalo?
Oh it's not bison? Yes, I no, I always pictured a bison like in Yellowstone pulling over and like someone with a pail just being like thanks, go on your way.
I mean they look sort of similar. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we have a whole bisonology episode with several guests, including some bovine scholars and a few indigenous bison ranchers on Northern Montana's Blackfoot Confederacy Reservation who also are my cousins. Hello to the Evinces. So to learn all about bison, you can check that one which is linked in the show notes. But yes, a water buffalo. They're native to parts of Asia and Africa, and you will recognize a
water buffalo. It has these long curved horns. They look like robust curtain bangs on either side of its face. By water buffalo milk, they seem hard to milk. Well, to those of Hindu faith, a cow is sacred, so hands off cow utters. But kind of like how the Vatican says that kapy baras are fish. We have an episode on that. The water buffalo is like, it's okay to milk now. Water buffalo milk also lower in cholesterol but higher in fat, so it is creamy as hell.
Now on some menu, should you be lucky enough to see them, is human milk cheese like that made by New York based artist Maria and Simon, who accepts or accepted in the past milk donations from in one case, a woman who made too much, but she didn't want to donate it because there are a lot of dietary restrictions she would have to adhere to in order to give it to others infants, so she's like, sure, I'll
give you some boob milk. And on Miriam's website she has video art titled Making Human Cheese twenty eleven HD video with audio four ten. It shows the process in this beautifully shot but stark and clinical studio setting.
But I think of it more as like a like a labor rather than a commodity, and having been in a labor industry like cooking, I feel like it's not all that different. I feel like it's kind of the same as me sort of spending an hour making someone a pasta or something.
Like that, and I understand the texture is creamy, it's not unlike a provolone. I often work in cafes, and today I'm grateful to have watched this high definition video of a woman with dripping nipples full out while a cheesemaker stands by wearing gloves not in public. Happen to be home when I watch that. Now, some detractors say that this is just a breath away from cannibalism eating
human milk cheese. But animal rights activists have gone so far as to urge Ben and Jerry's to just swap out all ruminant milk with people milk to make a point, maybe getting it from a woman named Sheila or Heather. And if all of this grosses you out, just take a seat in a rocking chair, stare into the horizon and ponder why the teats of a cow or a sheep you've never even met gives less of a nick. I have no answers. I only have questions.
I've had camel milk in caramel form, but I haven't had any cheeses outside of them those four. So I've had water, buffalo, cow, sheep, and goat. Some of a weirder unusual types of cheese that I have are often mixed milk, so you can mix the milks together to create another style of cheese, another flavor profile. By mixing cow's milk with goat's milk, you get one flavor by mixing sheep's milk with cow's milk, you get another flavor.
So those are some of the more unusual types of cheeses that I've had your mind.
Sign. When I think of goats milk cheese, I always think of it as a soft cheese. But are there like parmesan goat cheeses.
Definitely, yeah.
So you can make any type of cheese with any style of milk. There are classifications and what we call rules to some of the cheese making process, especially when you go to Europe. There are certain cheeses that are only made with cow's milk, only made with sheep's milk, only made with goat's milk.
So in France chv is goat's milk cheese. It has an R in there. I'm not sure how to say it now. Grecian feta is sheep or a mix of sheep and goat milk, although in America you can just get cow's milk feta, and apparently grease just has to live with American's decision to take the name. Now Pecorino just means sheep's milk and it comes from the Italian
word for sheep. Now, both goat and sheep milk have more fat than cow milk, and those with a dairy allergy can sometimes more easily digest goat milk because its proteins are similar to that made by the animal your mom. According to a chapter titled the Nutritional Value and Health Benefits of Goat Milk Components from the textbook Nutrients and Dairy and Their Implications on Health and Disease, Also, goat
milk is more commonly consumed globally than cow milk. What Yes, goats are easier to keep and people tend to prefer the taste. How many people, about seventy five percent of the world consumes goat milk? I should say chevla. Why does France have such a good cheese reputation.
Similar to other parts of Europe. They've been making cheese for a long period of time for sensory, they've been making cheese and they've perfected the craft of it. They also invest in the quality of the milk and the animals. They know that they make high quality cheeses, so they invest. So the government and the people invest a lot of money into those manufacturers.
So there are rules that you.
Need to follow in parts of France to make certain cheeses. They've been crafting these cheeses for so long that they've just gotten better and better over time.
They have a good cheese culture.
Yes, they have a great cheese culture.
Speaking of cultures, I read once that stinky cheeses have the same bacteria that stinky feet do. And I'm curious, like, the cultures now are probably handed down and handed down, but how much of the culture is just like wild caught bacteria or yeasts, or like where is it coming from? How do people know, like this is going to make a really goodzola and this is going to make a really good gouda? Are they in secret jars where someone protects them? Like where are they coming from?
In some cases?
Yet, the idea of cultures to some cheesemakers are their bread and butter. It's the secret sauce to make their cheese special and different because they're natural microbes that are found in the environment naturally, so you can harvest them. Now today we harvest cultures, and so now you can basically pick out just like buying rennet. You can pick up with the cultures that you want to add to your cheese, just like a recipe, and you can buy
them online. But in some cases, like raw milk cheesemakers, they're actually cultivating their own cultures, and so they're in house and they're creating them through fermenting the milk. They create a clabber or some kind of substance that they then add to the next batch of milk to help start the fermentation process, which is what the cheese cultures are doing. They're really helping transform the milk and also adding flavor.
Did I know what a clabber was? Of course not. I thought it was some sort of wooden paddle, But evidently it's a type of fermented sour milk that's curd like. But the way hasn't yet separated. So if you have ever dusted off a canister of clabber girl baking powder in your pantry, that's because clabber milk was a leavening agent before you could just buy powder in a can
which is not made of dairy. Also, what is with raw milk cheese, Well, some folks say that the curd structure is far superior in milk that hasn't been pasteurized or heated to kill pathogens. And the absolutely bogglingly appointed US Health and Human Service and Secretary. RFK Junior prefers raw milk, although his favorite brand was recalled for containing bird flu, which is perhaps why his strategy for the
bird flu epidemic is to just letter rip. But from my curled lips to your scrunched nose, what's the sting cheese?
The stinkiest cheeses are probably from France. Okay, they have a few popular cheeses. Apoos is one that's very stinky. It's a smaller format cheese.
These are just little cheeses.
It's actually banned on the train rails in France.
Oh my god.
I don't know if it's the whole country, but I know in parts you can't have apoos on the train because of the smell of it and the stink of it.
And while some Parisians say they have never been sighted for this offense, epois is said to have a soft, pungent, and unapologetically meaty scent and flavor, according to the New York City purveyor Maurice Cheese. Hence, there you go the origin of the euphemism to cut the cheese.
There's also from Italy. There's wash on cheeses like telegio. It's not super pungent in flavor like aplas. Aplas has a pretty robust flavor, but Telegio actually has a more milky and subtle flavor overall. But the stink is still there, so you're right, you definitely read that correctly. The bacteria called brevy Bacteria linens or B linens for short, are the bacteria that are close relatives to the bacteria that grow between your toes.
So that's that's where the stinky feet reference comes from.
So we try to embrace this in the cheese world and not look at it as a negative. We try to embrace it as a positive. These are just natural organisms, you know, around us, and we know to clean ourselves if we smell our feet, and so that's fine, but when it comes to cheese, the stinkier the better for some people.
So heads up.
Feet stink is technically called bromodosis, And if you are a victim of it from the foot or the nose perspective, it's coming from you and overgrowth of bacteria or maybe a bonus fungus thrown in there, And it could be because you're blessed with feet sweat glands that are work in overtime, or you could have a hormonal issue. Either way, pediatrists recommend washing the feet and letting them dry totally
before socking them up. And you can alternate between a few pairs of shoes so that they can fully dry out between wears. Also, you can pull an at home bowling alley move and las all your shoes down between wears. There are UV light shoe sterilizers you can tuck in there overnight. You can also add some vinegar to your
sock laundry. And just for you, I went deep into forums on foot stink and I read one story about someone who developed absolutely rancid footw and it turned out their shower drain was sluggish from build up and like rather than snake it because they just slashed around in the water during their showers, not realizing that all the stuff they washed off their dirty body mingled with whatever
demon was clogging the bathtub drain. And can I tell you that if you live in a house, any house that has a shower or a bathtub, get yourself something called a drain weasel. It's a sort of barbed implement. You shove down your drain and it brings up ungodly horrors. They look like a greased dead rat and they smell even worse. And if you like poor extraction videos, you will love using a drain weasel. I'm one of you. If you're asking me why why why, you can see
our disgustology episode about what grosses out whom and why. Also, some people swear by in a persperent deoterants on their feet or even a salt crystal, the hippie kind that works to kill jermys. I hope I have saved some
friendships or healed some marriages. Let love bloom. Are there any conversations between cheese people about why we might not want like a roommate's feet to smell that way, but why we want our charcuterie board like that unctuousness that like animal quality, Like do we know why the brain says no in some cases and yes and others.
That's a great question. I mean, I know it's a lot of personal preference.
For me.
I didn't love a lot of the cheeses that I love now when I first started tasting cheese. I think working in the industry you gain respect for all categories of cheese and you try them all with no judgment, and then over time you begin to advance your palate and make decisions on preference. So I don't think that there are scientific reasonings behind it, but I know that it takes a lot of time to sort of work your way there. Some people just like stinky cheese because
they like robust flavors. They like to be surprised. Other people like more mellow flavors they don't want to be surprised.
So I think it really just comes down the preference.
Sharp cheddar all the way. Why sharper cheese is just aged longer, lactose breaks down further into lactic acid, giving that kind of like vinegary punch that is no contest better than mild cheese. Do you get so many cheese gifts? Like? Do people constantly give you cheese fridge magnets and cheeseboards?
I definitely yes.
I'm definitely the cheese lady in my community, so everything cheese related, I'll get mugs, I'll get bags, all the cheese gifts. Yes, definitely something that I am familiar with.
Yeah, if you have a cheeseboard at home, how many knives do you really need? Because sometimes the cheesebird set, I'll be like, I don't know what this teardrop shaped knife does, and how come some have a fork and some don't. Like how many cheese knives do you need?
I mean each one has a purpose. Each shape of cheese knife is designed for a certain style of cheese or to be used in a certain way. I think four to six is the right amount. I mean there are most sets come with one of each type of knife, which doesn't always work because you might need the soft knife because you have chwo soft cheeses, and so you have to nagle it and find a different knife or just use this knife for this cheese. So I'll look
for sets that also give me some instructions too. If I was looking for some knives.
I never know. I just set them out and I hope whoever's eating the cheeseboard. Yeah, okay, let's break this down for you. So in real basic terms, if the knife has holes in it, that's for soft cheeses, so there's less surface area for the cheese to stick to. The knife with the fork at the tip is for any kind of cheese that you can slice off. But you don't want to use your dirty little fingers to pick it up off the board in front of people.
And the square or wedged shaped cheese knife is for harder cheeses, so you can kind of chisel a slice off, and then the tear drop shaped cheese knife is the one for the drier, hard cheeses like palm, so you can cut a little divot and then poke at the but with the tip and then break a chunk off. Now, another handy rule of thumb when it comes to what cheese knife you should use is so fucking what, We're
all gonna die, nothing matters. Do you have a kind of cheese where when you see it, you're like, oh, hell yeah.
I like things from the mountains, So we call them Alpine cheeses. So the Alps are a mountain range that run in Switzerland and France, and so cheeses are made high up on these mountains and they're made in a very specific way. Grier is one of them. So if you've had Grier, that's what we call an Alpine style cheese.
And so I look for those types of cheese in the stores, especially more rare, hard to find cheeses from that part of the world or domestically, there are a lot of small producers that I don't get to try because they're more regional based. So when I travel, there are cheeses that I'm going to look for that are local to that area that I can't find anywhere else.
Let's talk about aging a little bit, because the long you aged, the harder the cheese. Is that right or no?
It depends on the style. So yes for the majority of styles of cheese. So anything like a cheddar, a gouda, the Alpine style that I talked about, those styles and anything firm will definitely get.
Harder as they age.
As they age, they're losing more moisture, and so when you lose more moisture, it's getting more dry, and therefore the texture is going to be firmer. But there are styles like the soft ripened cheese that I mentioned and washed rind. Those two styles of cheese could age backwards. So like a Brie or Camembert style cheese. Brie are the soft cheese with the white rind. As those cheeses age, the proteins actually break down in a different way than the hard cheeses do, and so they actually will get
softer over time. Oh so when we say a cheese is ripe. Oftentimes you hear someone say, oh, this is ripe, this is a ripe cheese. They're usually talking about these softer cheeses are that are more runny and spreadable. Bree can be firm when you slice it, but over time it'll actually get softer and more creamy. You smell particularly ripe this evening.
What is the rind on those soft cheeses? Because it looks papery and then I'm like, is this just mold? And can I eat it?
Yes, So those cheeses specifically, you definitely can eat it.
Oh, the.
Rind is mold. We call them soft ripened, but specifically for bri and Camembert, we'll say bloomy rind. So a bloomy rine cheese is one where the molds that were added and the cultures that were added to the cheese actually begin to form on the exterior. Mold needs oxygen to thrive, so the molds and the microorganisms are going to seek out the oxygen and that's gonna be on the xterior of the cheese. So, just like any thing, you'll see mold growth on the outside, just like your
bread when you leave it too long. But in this case, these are good molds that bring a lot of flavor, and so what the cheesemaker will do is they're actually watch the molds bloom and then pat them down over time, and then watch it bloom some more and pat that
down over time. And then as you pat it down, it creates a dense sort of crust, if you will, that's perfectly edible, and actually is part of the reason why the cheeses break down in the opposite way that the heart cheeses do is partly because of the rind itself. The rind breaks down the paste of the cheese and makes everything softer.
I've always wondered that on a cheeseboard when people are scooping around the rind, I'm always like, I feel like you can eat that, but I don't know. Like I've heard people who have been on dates and like their date eight the entire at amami, including the shell, and they're like, oh no, like what is happening here? And I was like, is that the same for a rind? Is it like sitting down to eat crab and then just like eating the shell all so, but no, you
don't have to scoop around it. You can eat that thing, right, I mean right.
Yeah, I mean it's totally edible and you can totally eat it. And what I say is that if it doesn't add to your experience, then leave it behind.
Okay.
If it doesn't make things taste better, then it's okay to leave it behind. For me, the bloomy rind cheeses, I leave those rindes behind. So I would be one of those people that you're talking about that would scoop out the cheese. So that's my confession that would that would be the one. But you know, then I would just try to find a friend to eat the rind. Okay, I would definitely, yes, not leave it behind totally.
You could pass it on to me, Okay, I'd put it on a cracker. I'm also like a everyone's pizza crust. I'm always eyeing them, like the crust is my favorite part, Like you canna eat that? So okay, that's good. I'll take care of it for you.
Yes, And I would say that when you eat any rind, don't save it to the end like a like a like a treat. Eat the rind with the taste, eat the rind with the cheese itself, because that's where you're gonna really understand the full flavor of it. But oftentimes people will eat the cheese and then like pop the
riine in their mouth at the end. I'm just like, that's not gonna be a good experience for you because it's gonna be a very specific flavor profile that isn't gonna be the same as the cheese itself.
So yeah, that's my tip for that.
So, yes, that bloomy rind, which is usually mostly a species of penicillin, actually breaks down fat into a much creamier and kind of goopy, spreadable texture. And yes, you can eat the rind, and you may want to if you like umami or mushroomy tastes. Also, if you've ever had a bloomed soft cheese that tasted like ammonia, which I have, that means it overaged. So don't save that bree in your cheese drawer for a rainy day. Just
eat the thing. Try the rind. Well, you mentioned Alpine cheeses in care Air, and we're talking about cammeber and soft cheeses right now. Is it the same as champagne? Like? Can you call something a grier if it's made in new or is it only like in the Grier region of the Alps. Are there proprietary names.
Yes, there are.
So there are certain countries that make certain cheeses that they're the only ones that will make those cheeses, Grier being one of them. Grera is only made in Switzerland by certain cheesemakers in certain regions. Only certain people are even allowed to make it. The government would stop you if you try to make Griere outside of the parameters
that they've set. Canmbert isn't as strict. It is made in certain parts of France and it's mostly raw milk, but we can't get that cheese in America, so there are some sort of workarounds in that respect. Now in talking about Grea specifically in America, the government has ruled that anyone can use the name Grierre. So you will see cheeses that are made in Wisconsin that say Grierre on the label, but technically those are not going to be Greer. But any country can make their own rules.
We've allowed this to happen, but if you talk to a cheese professional, Grea is only made in Switzerland.
Just a footnote here. So Greer is in fact a place in the Alps and I need you to know that sci fi artist and legend hr Geiger of Alien fame purchased a medieval castle fortress there and has turned it into a museum of his goofy, creepy alien sculptures and artwork, and you can visit it in between plates of earthy, nutty, semi soft cow's milk cheese. Do cheese professionals get in cheese fights or is it pretty tight knit? I also understand that cheese is pretty matriarchal historically, like
there's more women that work in cheese. Is that true of the cheese culture?
Definitely?
So Throughout history, cheese was often looked at as a woman's work, so the men would be outside with the animals, taking care of the farmland and doing all of the manual labor. As they say, even though she's making his manual labeled too, but it would be considered a women's work, so they'd be the woman would.
Be taken care of.
Today it's the same in some respects, but there are more women in the industry. I think there's a lot to do with the passion behind it and the work that is done to make cheese. It's very nurturing, it's very passionate, like I said, specifically to work with animals, to work with mother animals specifically. All these things are
very matriarchal. So in the industry there's definitely more women than men today, there aren't as many female cheesemakers as men that it is probably more balanced, But in the industry as a whole, like in distribution and sales and education, like myself, there's a lot more women.
That was a surprise to me, you know, reading about that and also reading about the cheese tends to be like a queer friendly industry too, and all of hospitality really is kind of toward that.
Bent definitely, which is great to hear, definitely.
And those in the cheese industry likely already know this. But to those on the other side of the cheese case, there is a strong queer culture folded into the cheese world. And a twenty nineteen Vice piece titled Meet the Lesbian Cheesemongers of the LGBTQ Community, a cheese vendor named Kara Warren explained the appeal that it's the storytelling and the fact that cheese is kind of like this outsider food already. She said, it's a subculture that somehow works in the
realm of gay culture. They intersect at the point where it can be artsy and fantastic and over the top, and you can be loud and proud. So cheese is inherently queer, as outlined in the twenty twenty four Eater article why cheese is Inherently Queer, and Kira is quoted in that piece explaining that a passion of hers is trying to make cheese approachable and relatable to people in America who may see it as unobtainable, and to allow
people to enjoy cheese on a more casual level. And Kia also told Eater that as a person of color in a white dominated industry, she knows of only two other brown femalengers and that one of her many, many goals is doing more for young people of color and
young queer people. And that's also what she's fostering at her cheese consulting business, Own Your Funk, and that's a company that's inspired and motivated by this urgent need for more diversity and who's buying, selling, and producing artisan food, specifically value added dairy as it's called. And she does that by crafting these intentional educational food experiences and you can learn more, of course at own yourfunk dot com. Oh wait, I had another rind question. I'm sorry, Oh
wax rindes. Don't eat the wax rines.
Right, don't eat the wax rines?
Yes, okay, Why do some cheeses why are they dipped in wax? And other cheeses are just like cool having a MOLDI rind?
Great question. Again, it goes back to style. So traditionally, cheeses dipped in wax are going to create certain nuances and flavor profiles within the cheese. So the most well known wax dip cheese would be Gudhas or Goudas from the Netherlands and Holland. So when you dip the cheese and wax, you're sort of creating a barrier around it to allow for the microbes and the cheese itself to age while not losing its moisture. So you've created this
protective barrier where nothing can get out or in. And so what that means is it can't get dried out. It's going to stay protected by the wax, and that moisture helps with sweetness. So that's why a lot of Gaudas are going to be more sweet in flavor profile, partly because of the wax dipping. So you'll see it in a few other cheeses, Like there are some blue cheeses there are dipped in wax. There are cheddars dipped in wax, all for the same sort of purpose, to protect it from losing its moisture.
One of my fears about the future, and I have many, but one of them is you know those baby belt cheeses. Yes, when you got one of those in your lunch, you're like, oh, today's going to be a good day of a baby Belt cheese, right lunch. Not to mention, you could make like weird wax fingernails and you could sculpt it. It
was like, today's the best. But I'm so afraid of the day when baby Bell has to announce their poor social media expert has to announce it like they're going to be wrapped in plastic or they stopped making the why Like it's such a treat, But I imagine it must be so expensive.
Yeah, I don't think it's that expensive until okay, modern world. It's food grade wax. It's not very thick, it doesn't take a lot to create. I think it's more, in my opinion, more of an environmental aspect of things, so to tradition out of wax could be for an environmental purpose to create less waste than that respect. But it is food grade so it does decompose over time. But yeah,
that would be a terrible day. I don't know if it would have it wouldn't be the same cheese anymore, would taste completely different.
Okay, I had to look this up and apparently the red wax is a microcrystalline wax. It's food safe and the cellophane around the cheese is compostable. Also, if you're subsisting entirely on Baby Bell cheeses, good for you, but you're feeling guilty about the wax consumption, you can, according to their website, collect all the wax, the cellophane, the netting and the metal clip and you can ship it back to them with a prepaid packing label and they'll
recycle it all for you. They purify the wax and make candles. But the wax, i'm told, also makes an excellent campfire starter, or you can sculpt things. Baby Bell has even run competitions for the finest sculptures made from its cheese wax discards. So dream big, get in there.
I know.
It's just it's such an experience when you on wrap it, you're just like, oh, so exciting. I wanted to ask about blue cheeses too. Sometimes you'll see like cave aged, and I picture a weird, remote, tiny cave that no one knows the location to. But when they say cave aged, is that like is a basement a cave? What is that mean?
So cave age is used pretty loosely today, but traditionally cave age means just that in a naturally formed cave, cheeses are put into the cave to age.
Caves.
Again, traditionally, true caves are sort of a naturally controlled environment. So they have cool temperatures about like fifty five degrees so it's not super cold, kind of keeps things at a nice temperature, but then very high humidity, and so with those two attributes it makes for a great environment again for certain cheeses. Certain cheeses want high humidity and cool temperatures to thrive in the aging process. So that's when you're going to put things in caves. And you'll
see blue cheeses where where it started with Brokeefort. They started in caves and so people follow suit. And so today you can define a cave as any controlled temperature environment.
Any controlled temperature environment.
So basement, if you have the temperature controlled, if there's a door and the community and the temperature are controlled, then you can definitely call it a cave or cheese aging room, even though a refrigerator can be called a cave if you're aging cheese in it. But traditionally and today there are still many many cheeses that are age in real caves, even right here in America.
So we have an episode on caves. It's peliology. I'll link it for you. Also, the blue veins in cheeses like Roquefort and Corganzola, those appear because there are tunnels of air in the aging cheese and those pockets of oxygen allow the mold to flourish and then they appear like threads of gold before a minor size, priceless to some, So.
To be considered to be a blue cheese, the only really rule to being a blue cheese that you have some blue molding in there.
So yeah, I feel like blue cheese has to be the most polarizing.
It's definitely the most polarizing.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean you have some fans of it and then you have people who will never try it.
Yeah.
My friend Todd, who is has French citizenship, an amazing chef, and I was shocked to be like, that's one cheese he just won't touch because he's like, he'll try anything, he'll cook anything, and it's so personal. What cheese is you like? Which is one of the things that's amazing about cheese. Can I do a lightning round of listener questions? Yeah, let's do it, so ask salts of the Earth people cheesy questions because, like a snack, knowledge is best shared.
Thank you so much Kiara for being here, not only this week, but next week as well. You can follow her and learn more about her work linked in the show notes or at our website aliwar dot com, slash ologies, slash Promology, or at own yourfunk dot com. Donations went to the Cheese Culture Coalition and Team ups building schools in Kenya. We've got those linked in the show as well.
Next week, come back for Waldtswall Patreon questions to learn how to properly store cheese, the difference between orange and white Cheddar, the Grild Sandwich Debate, how to make cheese at home, Cheese pricing, Squeaky Kurds, The Moon's Composition, How cheese changes your brain, Chemistry, The Ultimate Show, Coulderyboard Build, plus Holes and Crystals and Maggots, Oh My and again. If you need kid friendly episodes, check out Smologies SMO, l O, g I E S and Ologies Merch is
available at ologiesmerch dot com. Thank you patrons of the show for making it possible via Patreon dot com, slash Ologies. We are at Ologies on Instagram, a Blue Sky, I'm at Ali Ward on both Aaron Talbert admins Ologies podcast Facebook group. Aveline Malik makes our professional transcripts. Noel Dilworth arranges time as a scheduling producer. Susan Hale is our
managing manger and director of all Things Ologies. Editors are the extra Sharp Jake Chafe and lead editor and Big Cheese Mercedes Maitland of Maitland Audio, with some additional sprinklings of Jered Sleeper of mindgam Media. Nick Thorburn the music and if you stick around to the very end of the episode, I tell you a secret. This one is that my legs not my best feature, pasty ashy. No
matter how much moisturizer, it's not a good scene. But summer is hard for lingering aging goths, and so I've taken to wearing like old school fish nets under my shorts, and specifically the ones made for professional dancers like Kupeio brand Indestructible. I don't know what in the name of kevlar these things are made of, but you could run thigh first into a barber ware fence and these things
wouldn't feel it while you bled out underneath them. I thought this was the most genius summer decision I've ever made. I wear them all the time. I have several pairs. And also it's a great way to avoid needing self tanner or explaining bruises you don't know how they got there.
But I ran into my neighbor yesterday. He's a rocket scientist in NASA, so I tend to trust his judgment, and he pointed to my ensemble of fish net tights under black stit arts and he just paused taking out the garbage, and he just was like, why so it's a burn, Yeah, but it was it a deterrent. No. Sorry, Ben, I'm still wearing them. Okay, next week more cheese provide pacodermatology, homology, ydo zoology, lithology, technology, meteorology, metatology, menthology, ceiology, elinology, and you.
Ate the whole wheel of cheese.
How'd you do that?
It's actually, I'm not even mad. It's amazing.