Oh These, Those Stars of Space! - podcast cover

Oh These, Those Stars of Space!

Far beyond the frontier of civilized space, sails the starship the CSS Cavalier, manned by her strange and daring crew. Their destination? Adventure. Their cargo? Your dang ears. Their mission? Episodic science fiction comedy at the intersection of Star Trek, Douglas Adams, and the Marquis DeSade. From the same people who birthed unto you the blockbuster true-crime podcast Rude Tales of Magic comes a new and improvised sci-fi (science fiction) delight that has already been banned in most public schools and the Vatican.

Episodes

[Patreon Preview] The Voyager

When a mysterious visitor...traveller... Voyager arrives on the CSS Cavalier, he seeks to learn all he can about this little starship where we lay our scene. And who better to guide him than Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), and Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings). And what happens when the Voyager offers one of them the opportunity of a spacetime?? To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff! PATREON...

Feb 27, 20257 minEp. 92

[Patreon Preview] Defending Your Holy Life

When a new spot opens up in a prestigious Choir of Space Angels, Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) is summoned from the CSS Cavalier to Space Heaven to see if she's up to the task. She'll have to give it her all, because overseeing her trials are none other than Holy Attorney General Zacchaeus Zebulon (Christopher Hastings). Luckily, Bubbs will have help from a familiar face- gasp! Is that- Froglevel?!? (Ali Fisher) (it is). To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreo...

Jan 30, 20255 minEp. 91

[UNLOCKED] The Mysterious Matter of Ted Crount

UNLOCKED! As a special year-end treat, we're releasing one of our most popular episodes this year from behind the paywall! Enjoy to your heart's content, and hey, when you're done, if you want to check out more of the latest adventures on Oh These, Those Stars of Space, head over to our Patreon - you'll be glad you did! When ship systems begin to go strangely awry aboard the CSS Cavalier, Engineer Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Groomda (Tim Platt) have little choice but call upon the help ...

Dec 26, 202452 min

[Patreon Preview] Cube of Terror

When Vanguard Internal Affairs Officer Hank Pissed (Joe Lepore), arrives on the CSS Cavalier, he summons two top agents, Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity (Ali Fisher), to help him uncover a deadly mystery- and how does it involve Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and Cubik, the Amazing Cube (Branson Reese)??? To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff! PATREON IS NOW THE ONLY PLACE TO HEAR NEW THESE THOSE EPISODES. You can go listen to ...

Dec 19, 20247 minEp. 90

[Patreon Preview] The Ship Before Time

When Boboli (Carly Monardo), Single Chance (Tim Platt), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese), find themselves on an ancient starship, they find themselves in an adventure... 65 MILLION YEARS IN THE MAKING. To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff! PATREON IS NOW THE ONLY PLACE TO HEAR NEW THESE THOSE EPISODES. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks. Follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @oh...

Nov 26, 20248 minEp. 89

[Patreon Preview] A Very Long Minute (With Ryan North)

Ah yes, just another typical day aboard the CSS Cavalier for crewmembers like Vestavia (Carly Monardo), Gelmire Lysdander (Tim Platt), and Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings). But will it remain that way when Carlzoid Frontstuff (Guest Star RYAN NORTH) returns? No, no it won't. But they'll have plenty of time to figure that out... Special thanks to Ryan North for joining us again this episode! Follow him on twitter ( @ryanqnorth ) for info about his many cool projects, like The Fantastic Four and W...

Oct 25, 20245 minEp. 88

[Patreon Preview] The Mysterious Matter of Ted Crount

When ship systems begin to go strangely awry aboard the CSS Cavalier, Engineer Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Groomda (Tim Platt) have little choice but call upon the help of the Cavalier's IT department. But when help arrives, they can't help but be intrigued by IT Specialist Ted Crount (Christopher Hastings). Yes...there's something strangely familiar about this Kiwi crewman...but what could it be? To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for t...

Sep 26, 20247 minEp. 87

[Patreon Preview] Walk Like an Ungyptian

THE NEPHEWS RETURN! But will they all survive? Or will an encounter with the mysterious Jaish Al-Ghost (Joe Lepore) and his hunt for a mysterious artifact spell doom for Rupert (Christopher Hastings), Dupert (Carly Monardo), and Poopert (Branson Reese)? To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff! PATREON IS NOW THE ONLY PLACE TO HEAR NEW THESE THOSE EPISODES. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks. Follo...

Aug 29, 20247 minEp. 86

[Patreon Preview] Call Me Ugly

Fresh out of a brief stay in Sick Bay, Coyote Ugly (Branson Reese) returns to active duty, on a seemingly simple mission with Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings) and mild-mannered ensign Single Chance (Tim Platt). But will it remain as it seems, or will the discovery of an awe-inspiring alien creature cause hysteria aboard the CSS Cavalier and discord between the three characters we focus on in this episode? Guess you'll have to listen to find out! To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bo...

Jul 26, 20246 minEp. 85

[Patreon Preview] In Tealest Light

When Werimether (Christopher Hastings) creates a new holozone program, the whole crew gets swept up by his fictional English Village: Little Tooting. I don't know why! You'd think they'd have really good video games in the future, but here we are. It even attracts the attention of Vee (Carly Monardo) and Ensign Single Chance (Tim Platt) an unremarkable officer who has nothing to do with The Teal Light, the mysterious space ranger from the Hope Corps who uses his magic ring to defend the Cavalier...

Jun 27, 20248 minEp. 84

Special Announcement from the OTTSS Crew

Hello, Dear Audience! It's me, Joe Lepore- the one who says 'Wow' at the beginning of every episode, with a special announcement. Are you sitting down? Well stand up because it's going to be ok. The show isn't over. If you've listened to the Trek Draft or seen Tim's many tweets about becoming a hot air balloon guy, you know some exciting life changes have been happening behind the scenes at Bucket of Milk. So what does that mean for Oh These, Those Stars of Space? Well, starting next month, Thes...

May 30, 20241 min

Moon of the Cats

When Ship's Dentist and most-humanoid cat person Dr Surgery (Branson Reese) invites fellow feline officers Chestershire (Ali Fisher) and Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) on a top-secret away mission, it's really anyone's guess what could be waiting for them on a distant moon, just a cryo-sleep away! Plus, a special cameo from Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese). Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now!...

May 30, 20241 hr 16 minEp. 83

[Patreon Preview] How to Not Get Blown Up from the Inside

Boboli (Carly Monardo), Guy Normal (Branson Reese), and ship's Olympian Gene Lime (Tim Platt) meet two alien species that just can't get along. Who will come out on top? Who will end up with a wad of poison money in their mouth? And who will enjoy some delicious fruit? All this and more on tonight's OH THESE THOSE STARS OF SPAAAACE! To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patr...

May 24, 20248 minEp. 82

The Nighttime Society of Dreamweavers

Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt) is-what else?- dreaming, when he summoned by former foe Snoozebo (Joe Lepore) of the Cavalier to aid him in a dangerous quest to save the Dream Realm. And who shall Rip turn to in this dark hour? Why, Deremeth (Ali Fisher) and Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese) are free! Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks. And follow us on twi...

May 16, 20241 hr 2 minEp. 81

The Old Ship

When the Cavalier receives a mysterious distress signal, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings), and Billy Onassis (Branson Reese) head to investigate a derelict ship. But do they have the experience and maturity needed to uncover its secrets? Or will they gain it extremely quickly? Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks. ...

Apr 25, 20241 hr 1 minEp. 80

[Patreon Preview] Justice... and/or Discipline

When Pluto Cloud-Atlas (Christopher Hastings) brings Scandal (Carly Monardo), Groomda (Tim Platt), and Chestershire (Ali Fisher) to the idyllic world of Jessbo-2, all he can hope for is that the Jessbens have totally normal laws that none of the crew violate! To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five b...

Apr 19, 20248 minEp. 79

The Planet with No Chocolate

Just when he thought it was safe in the Galaxy, Delicious Donald (Branson Reese) arrives in his personal hell. Meanwhile, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher) investigate a series of strange disappearances on the planet's only settlement. Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks. And follow us on twitter, but only if you like p...

Apr 12, 20241 hr 1 minEp. 78

These Those Spring Special: Trek Draft!

Spring has sprung, so it's no better time for a seasonal special, baby!! Join Joe, Ali, Chris, and Branson as they draft their dream Trek bridge crew, chat about Vulcans, oh and make one incredible surprise announcement. Don't miss it! TREK DRAFT RULES This will be a snake draft. You will draft a crew of 7 officers to helm your Starship Your crew must fill the following roles: Captain, Executive Officer/Security Officer, Science Officer, Ship’s Doctor, Chief Engineer, a ‘soft skills’ officer (Gu...

Mar 28, 20242 hr 32 min

[Patreon Preview] Hiss the Bride

When Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) is tasked with planning the Bachelorette Party for Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), she naturally invites Meredith's best fried, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt). But when Gelmire agrees to be 'just Meredith's friend' for the weekend, will an alluring suitor (Joe Lepore) come between them? You heard right! The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH . Rude Tales of Magic: Lent Enders! Buy your in-person AND LIVESTREAM ticke...

Mar 22, 20248 minEp. 77

Cold Case

When the CSS Cavalier crosses paths with a centuries-old human spacecraft, Groomda (Tim Platt), Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) lead the investigation. But what if, there in strange spacebound time capsule, there was a still-working cryopod, preserving an ancient spacefarer? What secrets could they share of the past? What horrors? You heard right! The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH . Rude Tales of Magic: Lent Enders! Buy...

Mar 14, 20241 hr 2 minEp. 76

[Patreon Preview] Groundroach Day

What would happen, one wonders, if that villainous mastermind Darkly Gameover (Joe Lepore), hacked into the CSS Cavalier holozone to create a series of deathtraps to test Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) and Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher)? Would they rise to the occasion? Would they get stuck in the first deathtrap and in the interest of time Darkly would be forced to jettison the rest? One wonders!! You heard right! The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH ....

Feb 29, 20247 minEp. 75

Sown the Future Part Two

Reeling from the events of last episode, Begonia Bloodterror (Chris Hastings) and his time-travelling companions Vee (Carly Monardo) and Oberon Coaxial (Branson Reese) race across dystopian Antarctica to stop Begonia's son's evil plan. But will the aid of a shocking ally be enough to help save the day? All this and the continuing adventures of Gleep Glorp (Joe Lepore). You heard right! The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH . Rude Tales of Magic: Lent End...

Feb 23, 20241 hr 9 minEp. 74

Sown the Future

When ship's Tactician Begonia BloodTerror (Christopher Hastings), is brought to the future by some time-lost compatriots Vestavi-er, Vee, and Oberon Coaxial (Carly Monardo and Branson Reese), his hopes for a wonderful utopia are dashed. No, I'm afraid the future is not a wonderful utopia, dear listener- it's a bad *dystopia*!! But what is Begonia's personal connection to all this? And what if the dystopia doesn't seem so bad to him? All this and the exciting debut of Gleep Glorp (Joe Lepore)! Yo...

Feb 16, 202454 minEp. 73

Scandal and Charity's High School Reunion

When Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity (Ali Fisher) are summoned to their High School reunion, will they recapture the glory of youth? Rekindle old flames? Discover childhood secrets? All that and more??? PLUS: Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) seeks professional advice. Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks. And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pl...

Jan 25, 20241 hr 19 minEp. 72

[Patreon Preview] A Ship in a Pocket

In order to pass through a dangerous Correxian checkpoint, the CSS Cavalier is shrunk down to the size of a coin, and escorted secretly by Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings) and Klaus Kitski (Branson Reese). With the lives of everyone aboard the ship in their literal hands, will Dewey and Klaus rise to the occasion? Or will their checkered pasts come back to haunt them? To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content (like that screenshot Branson mentions), Join our Patreon now for ...

Jan 19, 20246 minEp. 71

Hyperlift Lost

When Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese), get stuck in a hyperlift aboard the CSS Cavalier, everyone decides to do the sensible thing and calmly wait until help arrives. Or do they??? Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks. And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethose Oh Th...

Jan 11, 20241 hr 9 minEp. 70

These Those Holiday Special: Alien Draft '23 with Joe, Tim, and Carly!

It's a bird! It's a plane! No...it's a podcast! It's the end of the year, and as we kick back and relax, Joe, Carly, and Tim gather round that cosmic fire with a mug of hot cocoa and DRAFT THEIR FAVORITE ALIENS. Who will have the best crew of creatures from beyond the stars when the dust settles? Listen and find out, please! Missing the usual OTTSS adventures? You can hear last week's episode if you Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for ...

Dec 28, 20231 hr 5 min

[Patreon Preview] Showdown at Prosperous Chasm

When Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Ship's Cat Chestershire (Ali Fisher), and Ship's Mortician Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese), need emergency shuttlecraft repairs on the abandoned mining planet SilvGold-7, they find themselves in a *gulp* ghost town. But surely the local legend of a ghostly miner who haunts the mines is nothing more than a spooky story...isn't it? For our heroes' sake, I hope so. To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content (like that screenshot Branso...

Dec 21, 20237 minEp. 69

The Grand Oomda

It seems like a pretty typical day for the CSS Cavalier's chief scientist/tentacle monster Groomda (Tim Platt), until a mysterious figure from Groomda's past (Christopher Hastings) arrives to call him home. Will he leave his new life behind? Meanwhile, can Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) win the heart of Princess Tyrexibeth?? Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only fiv...

Dec 14, 202355 minEp. 68

AbNormal

The holidays have arrived at the CSS Cavalier, so naturally Ship's Event Planner Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) is on hand to host a preview of Delicious Donald's (Branson Reese) latest wintertime confections. But when adorable orphan Boboli (Carly Monardo) notices something strange about Guy Normal, well, who knows what could happen! I can't believe we get to make this show! Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go liste...

Nov 30, 20231 hrEp. 67