Second Drink: Crime Aid

Welcome to our second drink of PriMade. We have some fantastic behind-the-scenes details from the writer of this episode, Charlie Grandy. And Jen Salata also shares about directing this episode. It was her first time directing on The Office. What a debut for her. I know. It's got so many classic moments. Oh many. Okay, let's start with the fan favorite moment from Lisa R. in Plumus Lake, California, and Melanie D from Austin, Texas.

It's when Michael explains what CrimeAid stands for. Melanie said, Ladies, when Michael says that CrimeAid means crime reduces innocence, makes everyone angry, I declare I laugh every time. I'm curious if there were any alts for that. Well, we did share that the writer Charlie Grandy came up with that acronym by himself. But I went to the candybag alts because I was curious, and I went to the original table draft of the script to see if there were any other versions. And Melanie

Charlie nailed it from the very beginning. Crime reduces innocence makes everyone angry, I declare, was in all of the early drafts of the scripts. No alts needed when something is that funny. I mean every time you just said it it made me laugh. I know. I'm really tickled. Our next fan favorite moment comes from Cecilia W. in Shawnee, Kansas, who says.

My favorite scene in Crymate is when Daryl says that Michael gave him a list of his favorite Bruce Springsteen songs and then three of them were from Huey Lewis in the news. Yeah. I have a playlist of songs featured on the show and I laughed so hard thinking of the scene whenever the Huey Lewis songs come on. Such a great idea to make a playlist of all the songs that were on The Office. Yeah. And then you can like think about the episode they were in. That's very fun. Cecilia, I love that.

All right, we did have a moment that got a fan mail flurry, and that was the scenes between Dwight and Phyllis. Michela L from Peoria, Arizona loved that storyline. So did Christine R from East Grand Rapids, Michigan. She said, I loved when Phyllis told Dwight, I think we all deserve someone who wants to be with us. It's just so sweet.

And Soyan Jay from South Korea, but they let us know they now live in Germany. Soyan said, Hello, ladies, can you please talk more about that moment between Dwight and Phyllis? I know The Office is a sitcom, but Rain and Phyllis's acting, like how they portrayed an emotional moment where Dwight and Phyllis are both so hurt, was so powerful that I was awestruck. Well, Soyan, we also love this scene. We describe it in our breakdown, but we didn't play it, and I really think we should hear it.

Gracias. Ignored my ultimatum. Now what? Now you move on. Okay, fine. I've moved on. Now how do I get her back? Well, white, I don't think you do. I think you've got your answer. That's your advice? I thought you had some kind of big master plan. Well, I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us. I get it. You're trying to secure your place as head of the party planning committee. You're just being selfish. And then you slapped like a girl.

I mean it's it's one of those scenes That happens on the show sometimes. Where you're expecting Expecting it to end up. As a joke or a comedic moment, but it doesn't. It's heavy. It's more dramatic. It is more dramatic. And it's always done so well by our writers where they set it up in a joke way, and that's what fools you. It's like he gets her to go to the parking lot to have this conversation by telling her she has a flat tire. Right. She's actually made it a flat tire as well.

Yeah. And she's like, You could have just said you wanted to talk Fuck. Yeah. Like we didn't have to do this. And then it gets dramatic and then you see Dwight's heartbreak and then she's actually telling him things that are important. Like you gotta let it go. Yeah. And it's not a joke. It's not a joke.

Well, listen, thank you everyone who wrote in. You can head over to officeladies.com and submit your favorite moments for our upcoming second drink. And now here is our second drink of Crimade. I'm Angela Kinsey. And we're best friends. Each week we will break down an episode of The Office and give exclusive Hello everybody! Hi you guys. I have some big news that I want to share with you, Angela. What? Remember when we talked about my long crotch pants? How could I forget? Long crotch.

I had them altered. Oh you had your crash altered. Well I had the waist altered. Oh, okay. Took an inch out of the back of the waist. And now they fit your crotch right? Yep, I'm wearing them today. Stand up what we say. She got the crotch right. She got the crotch right. Now it fits you right in the butt, too. It does. Before you add Saggy Bottom and Long Cross. I know, but now I fixed it and I since I brought the problem to the pot, I thought I'd bring the solution to the pot. I'm here for it.

Well we have a very fun episode today. It is Crime Aid Season five, Episode five, written by Charlie Grandi and directed by Jen Salada. Here's your summary. Pam is working at corporate in New York City to help pay for her life at art school. Holly and Michael take their relationship to the next level, resulting in a burglary at the office. Michael hosts an auction to recoup the valuables lost, and Dwight turns to Phyllis for advice on how to win Angela back.

I loved everything Dwight and Phyllis. What a great combo. That's the thing the writers did. They like to mix it up. I was here for it. I absolutely loved it as well. That moves me in to Fast Fact Number One. Do it. New writer alert. Charlie Grandy bing bing bing bing bing It's another new writer alert. So before working on The Office, Charlie was a stand-up comedian, and he wrote for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Saturday Night Live. He's super funny.

Super funny. After the office he went on to write for the Mindy project. And Angela, Charlie said that one of the main inspirations for this episode was to highlight Phyllis. Charlie, you did it and I love that you love Phyllis. Yeah. He said this was one of those situations where they wanted to do a storyline with an unusual pairing. Remember they used to just put people's names on cards and pair'em up. This was Dwight Phyllis. I love it.

This is what happens when you put the Dwight and Phyllis cards together. You know what card never came together? What? Jim Angela. Yeah. You're so right. You're so right. That's fact number two. This is the first episode that Jen Salada directed. Oh Jen, that's right. Yeah. I mean, guys, it was so much fun to have Jen on set. She was such a laugher. She was such a blast.

She was also one of the showrunners this season with Paul Lieberstein. She'd been on the show for a while. And I don't know if you remember, but during Beach Games she talked about How Harold Ramis really encouraged her to direct one day. Yeah. And this was kind of the Yeah, this was where it led. So we reached out to Jen and we have some really fun stuff to sprinkle through the episode. I asked her specifically, okay, what was it like directing your first episode?

And she said the thing that like really stressed her out the most was that she thought directors had to have all the answers. She was really worried that someone would ask her a question about a prop or how to set up a scene and that she wouldn't know. And she said someone gave her the advice to just kinda like fake it till you make it sort of thing. But Jen was like, I can't. I can't fake it. If I don't know something, I'm gonna shout out, I don't know. Well

Jen wears every emotion across her face, right? You know how Jen feels about something. Well, I have to say I really respect a person who says I don't know. I do too, but I think. I don't need fake it till you make it. I would much rather just know truly how someone's feeling. I don't need like the whatever Yeah. thing, the filter people put on.

I agree. Well, she also said that Jeff Blitz gave her the advice don't worry if you don't sleep the night before your first day of shooting. No director sleeps the night before and your adrenaline will kick in. And she said that was absolutely true. She did not sleep and her adrenaline did kick in. So she was good. I bet. I can't sleep like before a big day ever. I'm like up all through the night. I know.

Oh. That happens to me as an actor the night before my first day on a new project, especially. I'm so nervous. The day before a big trip, I'm always like, okay, did I pack my charger? Got it. Underwear, I don't know. Did I pack underwear? I don't know. I don't know. Oh my god, I gotta get up. I gotta go look. I can't. I can't like sleep the night before anything big. All right, are you ready for Fast Fact number three? Yes. Roy is back. Oh yes, he is.

He comes back in this episode and it's a huge surprise. It's so well done. The writers said they were always looking for ways to bring David back. Well, I hadn't seen this episode in a long time and when I watched it and he walked in, I was like, Oh my god, Roy's here and now he's with Jim. Oh no, no, no. Like I completely forgot.

I have a show Bible summary of Roy Anderson. Remember, we never did a show Bible goodbye for him, so I thought maybe let's remember Roy since we're gonna see him this week. Let's do it. Roy Anderson worked in the warehouse at Dunder Mifflin. He was engaged to Pam for three years. They went to high school together, he was on the football team, and he hoped they would go to Mexico for their honeymoon. He has wave runners that he bought with his brother, which they eventually sold at a loss.

He has a truck. He would carpool to work with Pam. He thinks Angela's kind of hot. Yeah. He plays fantasy football and he is eventually fired after he tries to attack Jim. He apologizes to Pam and moves on. Until this episode, when he runs into Jim at a bar. and it is revealed he's been working at Vitamin World. Vitamin shop is what his shirt said. It did? I thought it said vitamin World. It said vitamin Shoppy S H O P P E Hm. I'm gonna revisit that, I guess.

I'll take another look at his shirt. Although I do believe you Well, now I'm having that moment like wait, I'm pretty sure it's a vitamin shop. Oh dear. Oh Lord. Time code. Well, lady, that's all I got. I've got some fun tidbits. There was good deleted scenes for this one. All right. Well should we take a break and then we'll get to it? Let's go. Get to it. I like it.

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So take a moment and prioritize your well-being with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/slash office ladies to get 10% off your first month. month. That's BetterHelp. h-e-l p.com slash office ladies. Hi, my name is Lloyd Lockridge, and I'm the host of a new podcast from Odyssey called Family Lore. In this podcast, I'm going to have people on to tell unusual and sometimes far-fetched stories about their families. And then we're going to investigate those stories and find out how much of it is true.

He gets a patent one month before the Wright brothers. Oh my god. Please follow and listen to Family Lore, an Odyssey podcast, available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows. We are back and Pam is working in an office. What's going on? Why isn't she in art school? I'm confused. Well that's because it is it is Dunder Mifflin corporate. She gets a phone call. It's Michael. Of course it's Michael,'cause now he knows where she is. All the time.

Well, he knows how to reach her part of the time at least. There was a missing scene in this little runner of Pam working in New York. At one point Michael's gonna call her and ask her for a slice of pizza. She's like Michael. And she's like, Michael, if I get you a slice of pizza will you stop calling, basically. And then the next scene is Michael opening up like a FedEx package and there's one slice of pizza, not wrapped in anything, like loose.

And he starts eating it and it's sort of come apart in the packaging and he's so happy because he got his New York slice from Pam. I mean, that is so gross. How long did it take to get there? But I love the idea that Pam sort of passively aggressively or whatever, I don't know, mailed Michael. a slice of pizza and he was delighted. It was deleted, unfortunately. Unfortunately, and poor Steve had to eat that pizza quite a bit and he had huge bites of it. Like his cheeks were all full of pizza.

Well now we move into the episode and Michael and Holly arrive to work. They are glowing. Well, they've been super flirty. They've had two dates, and tonight they're gonna go out and it's gonna be their third date. Yeah, and Michael says, in America. Yeah. The third date is usually when you have sex. Mm-hmm. And he hopes Holly agrees with that. If she starts having sex with me, I'll know for sure, is what he says.

Yeah. So lady, Michael's whole thing where he's talking about the third date is when you have sex. I was intrigued because I remember the show Sex in the City. Well, yeah. Do you remember that? Of course. Okay, so in Sex in the City, there's this scene where Charlotte gives a big speech to the group of friends where she says she never has sex until the third date, no matter what. This is her rule.

OK There was actually a book called The Rules that women were supposed to follow in order to like nab a man. I remember that book. Remember the rules? Oh god. Right? I know. So crazy. So that was kind of I think the inspiration for this idea that you wait till the third date. And doesn't Michael love sex in the city? Uh he does love sex in the city. Sorry. I think that's what he is quoting Charlotte. Exciting Charlotte. Yeah. To America.

Charlotte is like, I never have sex till the third date. And Michael is like, I get laid on the third date. That's how he heard that. Well it got me curious. I Googled is there an ideal amount of time to date before sex? Okay, this is what's so funny is that I started to look this up and I was like I just have a feeling Jenna's gonna look this up. I looked it up. Are you ready for what I found? Oh no.

Go. It was super interesting. It was similar to our sex timer conversation. There was a group on survey of two thousand adults in the United States. Wait, Groupon? Groupon. sign up for to get like better tickets to Disneyland, like group one? Yeah. I was so confused why Groupon was asking people this question. Okay.

But it's their survey. They wanted to know how long people waited to have sex with a new partner. Now I'm just saying, if your Groupon app like sent you this question, would you answer it? I would not answer. I'd be like Groupon, this is not even Your best group on the Steve. Yeah. Ha ha Well here's their result. The average answer was eight days. With women waiting nine and men waiting five. They also found that men were nine times more likely to be okay with having sex on the first date.

Do you think? Ha ha ha. All right, have a new study. Here's the other study. This one feels a little bit more legit. It's not group one. You don't get free steak? If like eight of you sign up? What other surveys has Groupon been having? Sex therapists of America to log on to Groupon. Oh my gosh. All right, this one is from the Journal of Sex Research. Sounds a little bit more official. No offense, Croupon. Also, maybe made up, but they analyzed nearly eleven thousand unmarried adults.

Who were in serious or steady relationships? Okay. They asked them, at what point in your relationship did you have sex? Fifty-one percent waited a few weeks. Mm-hmm. Thirty-eight percent had sex either on the first date or within two weeks. Eleven percent had sex before their first date. What? How do you do that? I don't know. Like they had sex and then they went on a date. So this isn't exactly saying number of dates, but more like period of time.

Okay. They also found that the timing of people's first sexual encounter did not impact their feelings about the relationship in the long run in a meaningful way. So everybody was happy whether they banged before their first date or three weeks later. That book, The Rules on How to Nab Your Man, that would just throw their theories out the window.

Yeah, that's right. Journal of Sex Research. There was one thing. They said that the people who had sex earlier tended to be slightly less satisfied now in their relationship. So there was nothing to like look forward to? Well that was one of their theories. One of the theories was that since they'd been having sex longer Yeah. You know, that early sex was maybe more exciting and since they'd been at it for a bit longer, since they started earlier, maybe it's lost its shine. Mm. I don't know.

Everything I read Ang said the best thing you can do is figure out what sex means to you. If sex means physical pleasure, then find someone who agrees. If sex means I'm in a committed relationship, find a partner that agrees. And then you'll have like a really good sexual encounter. That was The advice. Well, Jenna, at the end of all of your research, I have found nuggets from Group On and the sex journal people. What? Journal of Sex Research Thank you.

Yeah. Well listen, while Michael was obsessed with the idea that he might get to have sex tonight, Andy is passing out save the date cards. Andy is excited because he's getting married. He's very excited. He's calling everyone like D Money, J Money. At 2 minutes 44 seconds, Dwight. this invitation. He's clearly concerned that there's a save the date. When he opens the envelope, all this confetti comes out. I know.

And Rain's reaction as Dwight to it was so funny. But that is my husband's reaction to it. We were invited to a baby shower. And we open the envelope. Now listen, I'm expecting the confetti in some wedding invitations now. It's become a thing, right? You open the envelope and little wedding bells and things come out of it. I was not expecting confetti out of a baby shower. We opened the envelope. And my husband doesn't open anything gently, so he kind of tore into the envelope.

and all these little bitty baby bottles and baby carriages and little things just like flew up in the air. And my husband was like, Why do they do that? I'm with Josh. Welcome to my wedding as I make a mess on your floor. I mean, I'm already I'm annoyed by your wedding. Uh or your baby shower. It cracked me up. You know what I mean? Don't mess up my house while you invite me to something. Don't mess up my area with your festivities. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. I'm on the fence about it. Part of me thought it was fun and the other part was like, Oh no, I gotta clean that up. Yeah. I always lean toward I have to clean it up. Well, we're about to have a little bit of what I call break in the wall in the break room. Talk to me about it. Are you confused? Slightly. three minutes three seconds. While Dwight is whittling a knife, With a knife, a

Yeah. While Dwight is whittling a knife with a knife, Phyllis wants to know if he's okay. Does he want to talk about it? And she looks right at camera. She goes, You know I know, you know they know Phyllis. Sassy Phyllis breaking that fourth wall and bringing the camera crew into it. Yeah. And this is the beginning of that delicious Dwight Phyllis runner. Yes. That is gonna play out so beautifully. At the same time, Michael and Holly are planning their date. Well Michael just blurts out.

They're talking about where they're gonna eat, maybe they go to the food court and he's like, Well, I mean it depends if we're gonna have sex later and then he was like And then, I mean, this is like how you know Holly is his soulmate. I mean, I know we see it over and over again, but she's like, Hell yeah. Yeah. I know. You're so worried that Michael has messed it up. Yeah. But he didn't because it's his soulmate.

His soulmate. So at three minutes 17 seconds for our background catch, folks, did you see the taco bandito menu? No, I didn't see it. Ah, it's over Holly's shoulder. I looked it up. That is an actual restaurant in Scranton. It's on two hundred one North Main Avenue in Scranton. And that was Phil Shea getting us all those menus. Yes. Thanks to his in from Carrie Bennett, our wardrobe designer. That's right. Working together to make it specific.

Well Michael is super excited about the fact that Holly is on board third date sex. He has a talking head where he says he'll probably get soup, you know. Something light. Yeah. Well Jenna, there were some deleted scenes that really showed how once Holly says hell yeah, Michael cannot think about anything else the rest of the day. I believe it. He is so distracted because he knows that he's gonna have sex with Holly.

There is a scene between Michael, Daryl, and Angela. Like I never had scenes with Daryl and Michael. And Daryl and Angela are going over the warehouse budget. And Michael is just zoned out thinking about Holly. Sam, can you play it? The pallet trucks got a busted caster. We're still waiting on those safety goggles, and we need a new forklift. Well, I can take maintenance cash and put it in the supply budget, if Michael's okay with it. Michael, do do you approve that? Hell yeah.

Fine. We have gnomes living in the wall. You mean rats? Nah, I mean little scary men with red hats. I think they're drinking all our soda pop. You okay with that, Mike? Soda pub. I don't get it. Jenna, in the whole meeting all he can say is hell yeah and soda pop. And he just looks so goofy through the whole meeting. Like Holly has just said hell yeah, and that's all Michael can process. Hell yeah. Angela, I really liked this scene in the break room between Dwight and Phyllis.

When Dwight is telling Phyllis all of the things that Angela taught him in life, his time with her. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Angela introduced him to pasteurized milk. Tisheet, said Yeah. to presents on your birthday and preventative medicine. And monotheism. And monotheism. Look at all the things you've done. And then Dwight he finally breaks down, he gets a little vulnerable. He's like, Why is she marrying him? And Phyllis says Angela's not much of a risk taker and Andy's not really a risk.

She summed it up perfectly, said Angela took a risk on Dwight, and she loved him, and he put her cat in the freezer. She's not gonna do that again. Well Jenna, there was a deleted scene between Dwight and Phyllis that would just further this sort of conversation, but I'm sure it got cut for time. I saw it in the script and it was so funny. It's so funny. And they did actually shoot it and it is in the deleted scenes.

So this conversation continues. Dwight and Phyllis are now in the parking lot. They're on the bench by the warehouse and Dwight is eating a huge sandwich and they're talking. And Dwight shares with Phyllis what he and Angela did on their very first date. This is so funny to me. Here's what their first date was. They went to the anthracite coal museum tour. Yes. Yeah. even though they had both been several times

They pretended like they'd never been so they could get all the extra information and special perks of the tour from the tour guide. Even though the tour guides recognized both of them'cause they'd been there so many times. And then he said, Yeah. and we corrected them when they got their information wrong. Talk about soulmates. These two want to go to the Anthrocyte Coal Museum tour, which they've done before, so that they can tell the tour guide when they get things wrong.

Well I looked it up, and Jenna, there is a Pennsylvania Anthrocyte Heritage Museum. The museum is part of an anthracite museum complex. Created in nineteen seventy one by the Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Commission, but lady, there's three. Yeah. There are three museums and one historical site located in their communities. Jenna, maybe put this on our list of places to go.

Okay. The Pennsylvania Anthrocyte Heritage Museum and Scranton Iron Furnaces, both in Scranton, Eckley Miners Village near Weatherly, and the Museum of Anthrocyte Mining, overlooking the community of Ashland. Plus there are a few museum exhibits also located at the Companion Lackawanna Coal Mine Tour. Okay, so the Lackawanna coal mine tour is where Michael wanted to take the office as a reward in health care. In the mine shaft. So this is connected. Yes.

So hopefully I said all those names correctly, but try saying Lackawanna Coal Mine Tour ten times faster. I'm gonna do it tonight. This is apparently one of Dwight and Angelo's favorite places to go, and they went on their first date. That is some very sweet backstory into this couple. Now we have a scene where Michael and Holly are trying to kill time before their dinner reservation. So they're playing Crazy Eight.

So cute. But as they get ready to leave and they're walking out, Holly says she forgot her keys. They need to go back in. But then she says she didn't forget her keys. Not only that, when they go back in, she turns around and locks the door and gives a look to camera. Mm-hmm. She's ready to get it on. She wants to make out in the stairway. She's worried we can hear them though.

Yeah, but Michael says, Don't worry, just turn this dial all the way this way and you'll turn everything off. And now they're just so loud. He's done it the wrong way.

It's really pretty amazing. The following morning, people are arriving to work. Michael and Holly are glowing, but there's police. Outside the building, there has been a burglar. Yeah. Stuff has been stolen. Yeah. We had a fan question. question. Okay. From Lacklin A When Michael and Holly come into the office in the morning, we saw a police car, but we never see any police officers. Was this a continuity error? No. There were police officers, but they're in the deleted scenes.

That's right. And there's a really funny scene between Dwight and a police officer in the script. It was really simple. Dwight is asking the police officer, Do you need any crime scene tape? And the police officer is like, You have crime scene tape? And Dwight looks at him like, Duh, do you need it? Yeah, exactly. So we did have police officers, but they got cut out. They are in the deleted scenes, that little scene is there and it's very funny.

Well there has been quite a robbery, a lot was taken. Well, I think we should take a break and when we come back, let's figure out what was taken. Who did it? What's happening? What is happening? There's been a burglary at the office. Angela, what was stolen? Tell us what are we missing? How'd you say burglary? Burglary burglary? Burglary? It's a weird word. What did I say? Oh burglary? Or did I say burglary? It sounded like you were like regularly I don't know.

You know what? It is a weird word, burglary. Burglary. Burglary. It sounds like gibberish. Like oh my god, what happened to your house? I had a burglar. Yeah. It's like a thing you say frantically. And if you read it exactly as it's spelled, it's burglary. I had a burglary. Well. Well what was stolen in the burglary? Ha ha ha. Huh. Okay. According to Dwight, there were security tapes taken, obviously to cover the thief's tracks.

He also thinks that maybe the robbers were vintage H P computer collectors, so I'm guessing a few of the computers are gone. A lot of blank checks, Angela is calling in to the bank to cancel them, Oscar's laptop, Kevin's surge protector, and in deleted scenes we find out Stanley had a delicious bottle of cream sherry that he was saving to drink on his last day at Dunder Mifflin, so now he's gonna have to replace that.

Now Angela, correct me if I'm wrong, but Oscar has this line where he says, I have to get my laptop back Oh no, lady, I have wait, hold up. Oh my god, I'm flipping pages. The line she's talking about is gonna happen at eight minutes seven seconds. Now didn't you guys think he sounded like Jimmy Stewart? Okay, there is a blooper. Oscar says I don't want to talk. I want my laptop back.

And for whatever reason, when we were filming this, it was after lunch, and Oscar had to walk out to like the main bullpen and he had to say, I don't want to talk, I want my laptop back. He couldn't get the line out. And when he finally got the line out, he went like this. I I don't I don't want to talk, I want my laptop back. Yeah. Ha ha And I said, in the moment in character, I said, What are you, Jimmy Stewart? And the place lost it.

We all lost it'cause it was like I uh I want my laptop back. But then if I... Frankly, once he'd done it, he couldn't get rid of it. He couldn't get rid of it and then everybody jumped on it. So then Rain and John and everyone started going, Oh I want my laptop back. Okay, so I was not there when you filmed this scene, but when I came back You guys saying, I want my laptop back. That went on for years. Years. That was a bit. And I was like, what is it? What happened?

And Oscar was like, F you guys. But he was just like he got tongue tied after lunch. Listen, that happened on our show. Big bullpen scenes after lunch. We would get loopy. You know what lived on forever too? Is when I said, You send us all these filthy emails. John Krasinski said that to me for years. Were they filthy? I want my laptop back. Your filthy email. Your filthy emails.

I want you to know that Kevin is really, really concerned about his surge protector. He's worried about surges. This sent me down a road. I needed to know more about power surges, and I am not going to bore you with everything I read. I will give you this one nugget'cause I didn't know it. Wait I'm telling you, I want a screen grab of your search engine. I know. I'm gonna frame it.

I know. I thought power surges were just like giant things that happened, like some lightning strikes or something, and I need a surge protector because of like, you know, big moments. Can't they happen just'cause you have too much stuff plugged in? Like I blow dried my hair one time and it blew out the outlet. Yeah. There's something called mini surges.

Mm-hmm. And that happens every time your air conditioner kicks on, like you get a mini surge and it can slowly damage your appliances over time. Oh. Because your house can get like a buildup of mini surges. So Kevin is right, you really need to surge protect your house. I also found out you can get a whole house surge suppressor. They connect to your fuse box. I don't even know if I have one. I need to find out because I got so worried about surges after my search.

I feel like you would know if you had a surge surprise. I mean we probably do. That's Lee's department. He handles that stuff. Right. You know, we divide things up more traditionally in that way. If it's electrical or yard oriented, that's on Lee. So I should ask him. I'm the yard person at my house. I love the yard. I love being outside. I love to garden. I know our sprinkler system. I said it. I'm on station four's looking wonky. Let's fix that.

Yeah, that's on Lee. I've got my allergies. I'm inside. You're inside person. Well listen, Michael and Holly are starting to connect the dots. They're like, oh no. Oh no. Wait, did we lock? Did you lock it? I didn't lock it. Oh no. This is their fault. So much for sex without consequences.

Yes, that is Michael's talking head. But Jenna, there was an alt in the script that made me laugh so hard. There was one extra line, and this was the other version of this talking head. So much for sex without consequences. I guess with great sex comes great responsibility. Yes. And that one was deleted. That is such a good lie. I know.

During all of this mayhem, Jim is listening to a message from Pam. It's a butt dial message. It goes on and on. Clearly she went out last night. Sounds like she had another volcano. Yeah. She's out partying with her art school pals. They're whipping it up. Whippin' it? Whoopin' it. Whoopin' it up. I think they're whooping it up. Yeah, and Jim is just kinda like future mother o' my children, right there. Which is what Lee said when I got home from my bachelorette party that you hosted, Angela.

Angela says She's never felt safe here. Andy says she's safe with him because he's a very good screamer. That made me laugh. So Hard. Dwight has grabbed Phyllis and They're in the elevator. He had to talk to her right away. He says he knows that Angela loves him. She's practically told him so. Well Phyllis says then you need to offer her an ultimatum, that's That's what Bob did to fill it. Yeah. He said she had to stop talking to her sister so much.

Yeah. No. Well, Jen Salada shared that shooting this elevator scene was crazy because we do not actually have a working elevator. Remember we've shared before that if we went into the elevator we would shoot part of the scene and then we would have to relocate to the other building where the bottom of the elevator is. Right.

And there were always guys sort of standing on either side off camera with ropes and they would pull the doors open and they would shut the doors. That is a pulley system door, you guys. There was nothing electric about that elevator. It is super faky fake, old timey, just pulleys and people. And rope. Making this box of wood turn into an elevator. Well, she said that they didn't wanna relocate. So they did this crazy thing, which is so amazing.

What they did was while Phyllis and Dwight are inside the elevator doing the scene, a bunch of crew members came out and redressed the front part hallway of the elevator. So they came in, they put carpeting over the tile and they added a potted plant so that when the doors opened again and Phyllis stepped out, it would look like A new floor was They were in the correct place. And Jen said, if you look closely, when Phyllis gets out of the elevator, the plant is still moving.

Because They had to just like slap that plant down really quickly. Ha ha ha. And book it out of there. To me feels like theater. That's what it's like when you do a play. It's like you have three seconds to reset dress the area while you're putting a blouse on over the other blouse and then a bunch of guys are sliding a sofa onto the stage and then you walk out and the lights come up.

Yes, totally. And you know, they had to do multiple takes of this. So that day at work there were these people who just like threw down carpeting and picked up carpeting and threw down a plant and picked up a plant over and over again. And grabbed the ropes and pulled the elevator. Jumped the elevator. Yes. Aww. Movie magic. Sometimes it's just practical. Yeah.

Meanwhile there is a lot of hubbub about the burglary. Holly says her door is open if anyone wants to talk. Creed has his amazing talking head. It's so good. He says nobody steals from him and gets away with it. You know the last person who did that? They disappeared and his name was Creed Bratton. My favorite part, though, is he goes his name Yeah, he like whispers his own name. Clearly he has killed Creed Bratton and taken his identity. What's happening?

Well, Michael's gonna make everything right. He's gonna call a conference room meeting, and he has an idea. He's gonna have a charity auction. Right. It's gonna be called crime aid and it's like farm aid, but instead of farms fighting AIDS, it's gonna be us fighting our own poverty. No one likes the idea. But Phyllis. Phyllis is like, yeah, we did this in my sorority. We can, you know, auction off fun things like tennis lessons.

We had a few people write in. They were wondering why do we have to have a charity auction? Like wouldn't the insurance cover the cost of the missing items? I think this is a good question. Charlie Grandy, our writer, said that there was a scene that got cut for time in which Michael would have explained that their insurance has a five thousand dollars deductible for personal items. They lost less than five thousand dollars worth of stuff, so none of that was covered.

That's true. It's the same between Michael and Holly, and Holly explains to Michael that personal items are not covered. And so that is the reason for this big auction. As they're sort of discussing this in the conference room, Angela's like, who would come to this? Michael's like, I don't know. Pedestrians? Looky loss. That was my favorite. I know. Looky loose. Bookie Lou's, maybe Bruce Springsteen fans. Everyone's like, what?

Yeah, Michael says he has scored Springsteen tickets and he's going to auction them off. Jenna, I have a Springsteen story. You guys know I interned on Conan O'Brien, right? Yeah. In my early twenties. So I was Max Weinberg's intern. Max was the band leader for the Conan O'Brien show, but boss fans know that he was also the drummer for Bruce Springsteen in the E Street Band.

So here I am, Jenna. I'm this young intern. Max comes out of his office and says, Hey, Bruce Springsteen's gonna be calling me. I'm gonna be down in the studio. I'm gonna need you to forward his call to me And I was like, What what? Oh my gosh. And I was like cold sweat. He was like, Yeah, he should call, you know, while I'm down there. I was like, Okay. Huh. I sat by that phone. I had to pee. I was like, I can't go pee. I can't go pee. Springsteen is calling. I know.

And then I was like, wait, I don't know how to forward, no one showed me that. I sat there and Sweating it. And then Max comes back up and I was like, Bruce never called. I sat here the whole time. Jenna, I almost peed my pants. He never called He was like, Oh well he might call later today. Sometime today. I was like, sometime today I thought I like couldn't leave my phone right then and there. And then one time someone dropped off a package from Bruce for Mac.

And there was a little card on the outside and it just said dash B. Like two max dash B. I was like, oh my god, I am holding a card that Bruce Springsteen wrote on. That B is him. That's pretty cool. Wait, but you never got to hear his voice on the phone? Jenna, this is not the best story. I just want you to know I waited for a call from him. I almost got to talk to him. It didn't happen, but I did get to hold a piece of paper he wrote on.

Well, I got to see Bruce Springsteen live on Broadway when he did his Broadway show and it was fantastic. Did you talk to him? No. Oh. And I've also never held a card that says dash B. So I think you're closer. I'm closer to meeting the boss. You are.

Dwight is gonna take Phyllis' advice. He is going to give Angela an ultimatum. She has until 6:14 PM to break up with Andy, apologize, and start dating Dwight. Or you don't get any of this! Ha ha We could not get through it. It's in the bloopers. We both started laughing. It was so ridiculous. This is a fantastic ultimatum though. Angela, is it time for the auction? It is time for crime reduces innocence, makes everyone angry. I declare.

Yes. Michael says there may not be a Wikipedia entry for office robbery statistics. yet its victims are standing strong together. So there is still no Wikipedia page for office robbery statistics, and I'll tell you why.

After the show aired, fans kept trying to make a Wikipedia page for office robbery statistics. And Wikipedia had to keep taking it down. So now if you type in office robbery statistics, Wikipedia will direct you to the episode Crime Aid, and there is a note that says Office Robbery Statistics was redirected to this page to prevent further attempted creations. Oh my gosh. You guys are persistent.

Also, we had a fan question from Brandon L who wanted to know who wrote the acronym Crime AIDS for the show. Guys, this was all Charlie Grandy. He said he spent three hours writing various combinations. And he settled on this one. Oh, I love that it took him three hours. That just feeds my soul because how many times, Jenna, have you and I sat down to write something and I'm like, Well, I spent half an hour on two words. Yeah. Combinations.

It's time for the auction to start. We've got good stuff. We do. I have a list of what all was auctioned off. Ready? Yeah. We have a yoga lesson from Holly, sold to Michael for$300 because no one else would bid on it. Mm-hmm. Beers with the warehouse guys from Darrell, sold to Jim for five dollars. Beers. But you have to go right now. It's beers right now with the warehouse guy.

Yes, and there was a scripted Jim Talking Head that didn't make it in that would explain why he felt like he could leave right away. Jim says Pam loves Bruce Springsteen. I love Bruce Springsteen, and I'm really excited about these tickets. My one reservation is that Bruce Springsteen is not currently touring, so I'm leaving. Ha ha ha All right. The next thing auctioned off was a Creed all inclusive. Mm-hmm. Creed. He is auctioning off himself. No bid.

Kevin will do your taxes, federal and state, no bids. Hank sings the blues and he's auctioning off his C D's. No bids that we see, anyway. David Wallace coming in strong, auctioning off a weekend at his home on Martha's Vineyard. Multiple bids, we don't know where it landed. Phyllis auctions off a hug. Bob wins that one for$1,000. And in deleted scenes,

Kelly auctions off dance lessons. And also Meredith mumbles something. No one can tell what she's saying. Oscar says Fine, I bid a dollar and then she tosses him a brand new iPhone. That's so funny. Everyone's like, What? That's all the items auctioned. According to the bar graph thingy, it looks like they raised$1,803.

I have a lot of fan questions and catches based on everything you said, Angela, starting with Audrey E. During the auction there's a giant goal thermometer, but the goal isn't at the top of the thermometer. It's like they're only trying to fill it part way up. That's a really funny detail. Yes. This detail was an intentional joke that was written into the script. In the script it says the amount raised thermometer goes up to one million dollars.

Even though the goal is three thousand four hundred dollars, which should be written a little over a foot from the bottom. That was a script note. Yeah. So yes, very funny little detail. And did you notice whenever Michael was being the auctioneer, if bids started going high, he would throw in a million dollars. He'd be like, one hundred, two hundred, one million dollars. Okay, four hundred. Like

We had a fan catch from many people. Erica P, Rob O, Katie D, and Ashley S. When Jim leaves to go to the bar with Daryl, Michael auctions off Creed. But if you look, Jim is seated behind Creed. Ooh. Jim should not be there, but clearly we moved those scenes around. Yep. Also, fan question from Catherine D., Lexi B, and Maddie L, is Hank really a blues musician? No. So not only is Hugh Dane, who plays Hank, not a blues musician, he had never played the guitar before that day.

And this bit about Hank being a blues musician was a holdover from an earlier draft of the script. Jen Salata told me it didn't even make it in the shooting draft, but there was a whole storyline where Oscar and Kevin were gonna try to solve the crime of who broke into the office. And they decide that it must be an inside job because the door wasn't broken. So they're interviewing everyone. They interview Hank and they say, Hank, do you have a record? And Hank says, I do have a record.

But it's a blues record, not a criminal record. So Jen always loved that joke that Hank said, I have a record, I have a blues record. So she said, I want Hank to auction off. his blues record at this auction, but it was a super last minute pitch. Jen told me they only had a couple hours to make the prop CD, which is why if you notice, Hank is wearing the same outfit in the CD that he's wearing in the episode. Well and it also said in the script that Hank plays very poorly.

Yeah. And we're all having to sit there and listen. Angela, because of this auction, I became inspired to find out what are some of the wonderful World. best selling auction items. Like what you see in the news, like Christie's auctioned off a Picasso or something like that. Yes! Okay. I have a list. Of the highest paid items ever at an auction? Yes. Oh. In certain categories. Oh.

For example, the world's most expensive work of art sold at auction was a five hundred year old painting of Jesus Christ believed to have been painted by Leonardo da Vinci. Woo! Ooh, I was gonna say Da Vinci's on this list. I really was. Okay, go. The painting is known as Salvator Mundi, which means savior of the world, and it sold at Christie's auction in twenty seventeen for four hundred and fifty million dollars. Dang. Who bought it? I don't know. Oh my god.

want you to know that I have that. I mean that feels like a security risk. Right. It's gotta be anonymous. I don't know if it is or not, but it didn't say. The record for the most expensive work of art by a living artist goes to Jeff Koons. His rabbit sculpture, which sold for ninety one point one million in May of twenty nineteen. Wow. Jeff Koons actually has two of the top five items that were most expensive for a living artist. Also his dog sculpture, his like balloon dog.

Wow. The most expensive dress ever sold at an auction? Oh can I guess? Yes. Was it either Audrey Hepburn or like Princess Diana? It's Marilyn Monroe. Oh Marilyn Monroe. Why did I say Marilyn Monroe? Her happy birthday mister President gown. Oh, yes! It sold for$4.8 million in 2016. The most expensive wristwatch ever auctioned. I mean I found this fascinating because I was like, really? A watch? Sold for thirty-one million dollars. I don't get it.

It's called a Petec Philippe watch. It was in the Grandmaster chime model. Now does it make more sense, Angela? It was a Grandmaster chime. Somewhere there's someone fancy and their ears are bleeding'cause they're like, ladies, you have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah. We need to pay thirty one million for the Grand Master Chime. I hid this watch up my ass.

Oh boy, that watch. I'd love to know how much that watch could go for an auction. But this shattered the record. The previous record was a Rolex that was once owned by Paul Newman and it had sold for seventeen point seven. I don't wanna tell people that they're spending their money wrong, but I don't know. Do you wanna know the most expensive diamonds? I mean, does Elizabeth have one? No.

Sorry. Elizabeth Taylor did not sell the most expensive diamond. The most expensive blue diamond ever sold in auction history was the Oppenheimer Blue, and it sold for$57.9 million. The most expensive diamond diamond was sold for seventy one point two million dollars. at an auction in Hong Kong and it is a fifty nine point six carat pink star diamond. Wow. And it was the largest Flawless, fancy, vivid pink diamond ever graded by the Gemological Institute of America. What do you do with that?

I don't know. What do you do with that? It would stress me out. No, I don't know what you do with it. I mean, I'm always like, you know, you have one lamp that's nicer than your other lamps and I'm always like to the kids, don't touch that lamp. Guys You guys, stop touching the Pink Star Diamond. Stop it. If you have to play with something, play with the Oppenheimer blue. Do not throw the frisbee near that diamond. Damn it. Stop it. Stop it, guys. That's how my other diamond broke. Exactly.

Exactly. And no, you cannot wear my grandmaster chime to school. Finally. I'm gonna tell you what I am assuming is the most expensive used tissue. What? That has ever been auctioned, I can't be sure. Who wants a used tissue? Did Elvis blow his nose as a an Elvis tissue? No, it belonged to Scarlett Johansson. Wha She sold it for two thousand and fifty dollars on eBay.

The story is that she had been on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno in two thousand eight and she had a cold. She said Samuel L. Jackson gave me a cold and she said, you know what? I'm gonna auction off my tissue for charity and she did. Okay. All right. You know what I learned here? People bid crazy amounts of money on really random things.

Yeah. Should we go to the bar? Should we get back to the episode and go to the bar? I guess so. Well, Jim and the warehouse fellows are having a great time at the bar. Jim's gonna get another round. Yeah. He heads over to the bar. And who walks in? It's Roy. Roy Anderson. Oof He's like Halbert and Jim's like and Roy's like don't worry, I'm not gonna hit you. So Jim and Roy end up having a rather friendly conversation over some beers. They're catching up on life. He's telling Roy about Pam.

Yeah. He tells Roy Pam's at art school and um also mm she's engaged to me. And Roy's like, Wow, okay. And then they kinda do like a they don't quite shake hands. It's weird. It's like Roy holds his hand up over his shoulder and then Jim grabs it. They have some type of bro handshake moment. I love it.

Loved that. Jim even sort of doubles down and is like, Oh yeah, she's having a great time at our school. She was out till like nine in the morning with her friends. And then Roy says You are friends, said And Jim is like, oh crap. Oh crap. Like it kind of plants the seed of doubt in Jim's brain. Like it's Pam connecting with other people, the way she connected with me, what's going on at arts? So Jim Spirals.

And he's like, I'm gonna I'm gonna go see her. I'm gonna go see her. I'm gonna drive to New York. Yeah. I want you guys to know. that there were some missing scenes in this Jim and Pam storyline. There were extra scenes because we did get some mail from people where they were like, Wow, this one comment from Roy really made Jim spiral. You know, why was he so insecure about their relationship? Now we know he's gonna turn around. He's not actually gonna drive to New York. He's gonna turn around.

But there's a lot more motivating this spiral than just Roy's comments. Yes, there was a whole storyline, you guys, between Jim and Pam that would have started early in the episode and would have built to this moment. Yeah. So earlier remember Jim was on the phone and he got this voicemail from Pam where she's out with her friends. Well, what's missing is that there was a really cute bit where Jim and Pam are talking on the phone and they are talking about the West Wing.

Yes, and Jenna, it's so cute. They share that they watch it together on the DVD. So like they both have to hit play at the same time. I thought that was so cute. I have done that with friends. So cute, said This is old tech romance, guys. In the script, this scene goes on and Jim says, Are we on for the next episode tonight? Pam says, You know what? Can we rain check it basically? You know, she says, I'm really tired. I think I'm just gonna go to bed early. Yeah, she's had a big week at school.

Yeah. So, you know, fine. But then later what happens is she leaves Jim a message where she says, Oh my gosh, my friends, they're dragging me out. They convinced me to go out. I'll call you later. Then Jim gets the butt dial. From the bar. bar from the bar where she's having a great time, and then Pam leaves him a message explaining that she did not get home until eight in the morning.

So she was too tired to watch West Wing, but she went out with friends till eight in the morning. So that is really why Jim spirals for a second and is gonna drive to New York. Yeah, that's why Roy's comment really took root, you know, because he's like, Well, wait a second. I kind of feel like she just blew me off with these people. I don't even know. Yeah. And we're just gonna leave you hanging on that one, by the way.

Yeah. Jim drives back and you know, we'll work this out in the next episode. Well back at the auction, it's six fourteen and Yeah. Dwight looks over at Angela, and Angela purposefully looks to Andy. Dwight is crushed. She's made her choice, but She's made her choice. Well, there was a scripted Angela talking head that didn't make it in. That would have gone right here. And Angela says. I'm not the type of person who breaks engagement. You should go talk to Pam, said

Once again, Angela is gonna throw Pam under the bus. Yeah. When it comes to questions about her personal life, she's like, Wait, who can I distract with? Oh yeah, Pam. White is like fill it. Phyllis, someone has let the air out of all of your tires. Come look. And Phyllis goes outside and yes, her tires are all flat and Dwight's like, I no no no, I just needed an excuse to get you out here. And I love Phyllis's line, like why couldn't you have just said it? Why'd you have to do it? Yeah.

But Dwight's like, what do I do now? What do I do now? The ultimatum passed. And that's when Phyllis is like, Well, I think you have your answer. It's the end, Dwight. That's what happens. You gotta let it go! Yeah. Dwight is furious with Phyllis. But then he has this moment when he's by himself and he's like, you know, kind of like how dare her, she's so selfish. Here she was just trying to help me and then he sort of hears what he's just said. Well, she was just trying to help him.

That's what motivates him to go in and bid on her hug and drive the price up. Ultimately it goes to Bob Vance. And Angela is so confused. She's like, Why is Dwight bidding on a hug with Phyllis like so aggressively? It's his way of saying thank you, I guess. Yeah. Well, she's the big winner of the night. It goes for the most money, because as it turns out Michael can't find the spring scene tickets. Can you believe it? Ugh. What could have happened to me? them. Where are they?

He definitely had them all the time. We definitely had them. Even though we learned that, you know, they're not even touring right now. Well, there's a very sweet scene now between Michael and Holly, where Michael does admit that it's kind of a grey area whether or not he had the Springsteen tickets. Thank you. A lot about Michael is too good to be true, she says. Well, and you know how Jen Salada was always ruining takes by laughing on set?

All the time, especially talking heads. Well, Jen told me that she totally ruined a take during this scene. She says the moment when Holly is trying to cover Michael's mouth and tell him, Don't say it, don't say it. And then how Michael is sort of delighted by this, so he starts laughing and then Holly starts laughing. Jen said that it felt so real to her that she thought they had broke. So Jen started laughing and ultimately ruined the take.

And Steve was like, Why were you laughing? And she said, I thought you were breaking and he said, No, we were just acting. And then they all kind of laughed at that. But she said that moment made it onto the blooper reel. It did. I watched it. It's on season five bloopers on YouTube. You can see Jin cracking up. The episode ends with a kiss. Michael and Holly kissed More than once. There's a little kiss, then a bigger kiss. You guys they're at work.

Yeah, and David Wallace is there. He's watching from a distance. Mm-hmm. And this episode ends with him saying, No, I did not know that Michael was dating Holly. He doesn't seem happy about it. Mm. Yeah, he's not. I mean, look what happened when Michael dated Jan. Oh my god. But David, what you don't know is that these guys are soulmates. Yeah. But this is gonna cause some problems for this couple going forward. We have a lot of couples in crisis. Yeah. Season five.

Angela, Jam, Molly, are Heichel, what are we calling them? Heichel? Holly and Michael? Well yeah. They're either Molly or Heichel. Season five, Shakin' It Up, guys. Shaking it up. Well there you have it, that's Crimaid. I certainly learned a lot this episode. For example, Groupon doing crazy surveys. Yeah, very crazy surveys, and we know the most expensive used tissue ever sold at auction that I could find. There could be more. Congratulations. The most expensive items.

Way to go, Phil. Way to go, Phyllis. We'll see you next week. Thank you for listening to Office Ladies Second Drink. This episode was initially created in collaboration with Earwolf. Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Our senior producer is Matt Beagle. Our second drinks episodes are produced by Molly Nugent. Our audio engineer is Sam Kefan. Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Reese Dennis.

Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz. Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton.