Balky. What a terrible first movie to see with perfect eyesights, you know, Like I was so excited to see my first movie without glasses at the theaters. And it's going to be forever. I'll never have a first movie without glasses again. Forever. It's going to be five nights at Freddy's two.
Now I have to ask you, Ben, where is the gym theorem on this? Did you go to the gym?
I'm not allowed to exercise. I haven't been to the gym since, so don't you.
Think you would have enjoyed it more?
Maybe it may there's a chance I got that euphoria feeling. I suppose that's a possibility, But no, I I have been told I'm not allowed to lift more than forty pounds, and I was like, jokes on you, that's a struggle. But no, I'm not allowed to go because fun fact, when you get lasik, they they open your corneas and then they do what they need to do and then
they kind of put them back together. And if I lean forward and strained to hard, I could pop my cornera oh my god, so that they just be flapping in the in there. And you know, I enjoy the gym, and I like that I'm getting healthier again. I could wait the week, you know, like that's kind of how I look at it here, But that's that's where I'm
at with that here. But no, no gym time. And I went in much like how you go in with positive attitudes, Like I went in, I'm like, this is gonna suck, Like why why.
Did you think it was gonna suck? Because I think you know, if you make up your mind that it's it's not gonna be good, then you're not gonna enjoy it.
Yeah what what?
What? Led? So obviously we chose this yes, because you had seen the first one sure and clearly enjoyed it. Otherwise we wouldn't be.
Watching no no, no, no, no, don't don't don't put words don't.
Why would Why would we watch a sequel to a movie that you did not enjoy?
I didn't say it makes sense, okay, all right? Uh? I knew that it was a horror movie that was out. It was a recognizable property, and as I was talking about with you off the air, he's doing well in the box office exclusively based on name recognition. The first
one is universally panned, even by five Nights at Freddy Fans. Yeah, this one looked like a different take on it, Like if I could compare it to something, there's like six or seven Meala jojovis six seven six, I gotta do it six seven Yeah, six or seven Meala Jojovic Resident Evil movies and they're nothing like the games. And then one day Netflix decided let's make an actual resident Evil movie that doesn't have yeah, and that somehow sucked even more than the Meala Jojovic one.
But which is why they do that, which is why they listen. We can't just make it all about the game, right, Like there has to be some other element in this.
This seemed like five nights effort to be like, look, the first one was really not like the game in any kind of way, and this one, based on the trailers and the marketing for it, was like, what if we did the game and movie for him? And I was like, Okay, maybe there's a chance that they could rectify this. But I always go into video game movies assuming they are gonna suck. Even though there have been some good ones, the rule of thumb is it's a bad what what.
Are the good ones? Mortal Kombat oh yeah, both of them, all.
Three of them. I'd give all three three. Yeah, there's a newer one that came out in like twenty twenty one.
Yeah, and I thought they're making another one after that.
Oh they are. Yeah. And then so there's the one from nineteen ninety seven. Ye that love was Mortal Kombat Annihilation that came out to later same cast, very very bad. At one point, Sonya Blade gets like in a mud wrestling contest. Yeah, another girl. But when you're twelve years old, you're like, no, this is a good movie. This is this is exactly what I sawn it for.
Uh, the first one I remember liking. I saw it in theaters. Yeah, and I didn't play the game. Sure, this is just awesome. Throw it on right now. The CGI.
I'm not going to pretend it's good CGI, but for nineteen ninety seven in a in a in a video game movie.
That's what the CGI look like like. It's very impressive for the day with Prince s Goron or whatever. Yeah, and uh and uh falling off the cliff that was like, okay.
It's fantastic. Like the lizard be in a camo like thing and it becomes a statue like there's moments in that freaking throwing the water and it becomes an icicle. Yeah, Like there's stuff happening in that movie in nineteen ninety seven that like, yes it is nostalgia, and yes it is being a kid, but I can see why everyone thinks it's awesome. Right, More contemporary examples until Dawn, which I've pitched you. It's on Netflix right now. I loved
that one. The Sonic movies, like they're for kids. I haven't seen them, but they're doing a billion dollars. Yeah, my kids come out. I haven't seen them, but my kids love them. Yeah the list. Jim Carrey's in it, so it's probably good.
Right.
Yeah, But so like but by and large, all the resident Evil movies, the Street Fighter can be the original Super Mario Brothers. It's kind of a crap fest. Like it's very difficult to make a video game into a movie in a way that people like.
Do you think that this one? So I'm kind of curious, like, do you think after they made the first one they realized that we kind of miss because the people who want to see this movie want to see it because of the game, and it wasn't really all about the game,
you know, in the first one. So then so then they make the second one, and I'm wondering if, like it still was not enough of a ref because when you make when you make references of the game, that can work both ways where people get annoyed like oh god, that's so cookie cutter, like you know, I'm too cool for this, but then at the same time, you you want to make it obvious enough we're like, oh, yeah, that's cool that like how they did how they how they do it in the game.
Apparently there's a ton of easter eggs that you and I clearly because.
We don't play the game, right, yeah, yeah, and and and so somebody else who would have was it the same director for both movies. I didn't even look.
I can figure that out.
I don't know, because I wonder if they're like they kind of scrap and they're like, Okay, we'll bring Hutcherson back. We'll bring I can't remember the woman's name back, she plays Vanessa in the movie. We'll bring these characters back. But we want to change the theme, we want to change the tone, we want to change the and you know, honestly, what it kind of reminded me of Ben the the second one, the plot line.
With it, what hit me with it?
Mithrigan? Oh Yeahgan two point zero. Yeah, there's there's a lot of elements to that, I mean, especially with the robot aspect of it.
Yeah. Wrong, Emma Tammy for both one and two.
Okay, so she directed both of them.
And Kevin Lewis for the far superior Willy's Wonderland. Oh yeah, you'll get into that.
I was talking with commission at work and I was talking about Five Nights at Freddy's, Like, Hey, do you know what the better five Nights of Freddy's movie is? I'm like, does it have Nicholas Cage And he's like yes, And we couldn't remember the name of it, obviously, but he was referring to that one. And I saw that one before I saw it either either of these.
Yeah, and it's fantastic comparatively, and again rated are much more adult themed, even though it still is silly and goofy, it is definitely a little more I know they were parts of this that kind of messed with stuff that you don't like, but I'd argue.
The first one was definitely more unsettling than the second.
One you think, So I.
Don't like, you know, it was creepy. I don't like, you know, things, because you know, I went to Chuck E Cheese when I was in Showbiz Pizza, which was like the forerunner to Chuck E.
Cheese, and there was always a creepiness to those. There was even when they weren't.
But for the most part, it was like it was a positive you know. It was a nostalgia where it's like, Okay, I worked really hard in school, I got all these good grades. Now I get to go and spend it on tokens and eat pizza and like the the furry characters. I maybe I was a little bit too old for that at that point when I was going, but that
didn't do it for me. But then to see, like, you know, just thinking back to my own childhood and seeing these creatures come to life and kill people and then you have dead kids being kidnapped and murdered, and it's like this is like I never saw Black Phone, right, Yeah, I don't think I would enjoy that. Yeah, Love Lovely Bones with Mark Wahlberg. Sure hated that great movie and I hated it. I couldn't even enjoy it. Yeah, Well, I mean I watched that when I was a kid,
so it's it hit differently. Okay, but I think maybe now that I have kids, maybe it's not to sound pretentious, but but like too late.
So exactly what a what A about twenty eight years later? That movie started with a bunch of kids in a room. They don't show you anything, but it's heavily in blood. Obviously one of them survived, as we learned at the end of that.
I think that with that, it's it's zombies. Okay, so it's a lot less real for me. Okay, whereas I know pedophiles, sure, I don't even know if they're pedophile matth Yeah, I can spoil the first one at least. Yeah, I don't know if Matthew Lillard is is like you know, actually grati Yeah, he's.
Just murdering children. Yeah, now I hear that, and I get.
But even the opening scene of the second one, I'm like, I didn't like that.
Yeah. See, I think I'm just a siding and like this is gonna sound left up, but like it's also real. Like the We'll use the Thomas Jane Punisher movie because it always goes back to Marvel when they're killing his entire family, and the hit man like is looking and all the kids are hiding under the table, and you think they're gonna get away, and then he like backtracks and looks under and he like sees all the kids, and then you just see the machine gun light up.
I remember being sixteen years old being like, oh, so this is going to be a good movie. Like I didn't.
Realize the stuff that, like, they don't normally do that, But to me, the idea of killing pets or killing children in a action or horror movie says to me, nothing is off limits.
Exactly. Pet cemetery gauge runs.
In front of that super creepy right, and you're like, okay, so clearly they're going to do some really messed up stuff for the rest of this movie.
And they absolutely did, and for me, that is a sign of something fun.
One of the greatest, most talked about episodes of The Walking Dead was when Carol had to murder that that girl that you know, after she had murdered her sister, and you're like, it was kind of like, I don't want to say Walking Dead reinventing itself, but going somewhere it hadn't gone before, and there was a lot of people upset about it, of course that you know it just but again it's now one of the most talked
about episodes probably in television history too. I would think, like when you talk about killing kids like that, Now, I did notice in this one, and it wasn't just all kids. The violence. The gore was off screen. Yeah, it's because it's PG thirteen, right, so they're not going to show it. It's implied, but you don't actually see it, which probably irritated you a little bit so much.
I didn't realize it was PG thirteen. It makes sense. I should have known that it was PG thirteen, But.
They wanted they want to maximize their return exactly, and they want to appeal to this type of audience where you know, if five Nights at Freddy's two is rated R, well, parents are going to let their kids see that PG thirteen. Okay, maybe I can see that.
But I'm now going to provide you with the entire comprehensive list of well made PG thirteen horror movies fourteen eight. Yeah, the ring that ends the list.
The ring was PG thirteen, Yeah, right, exactly. It's well is that the John qusay, yeah, I love that movie. Yeah, and then The Ring and that's it. That's the entire list of well made Beach. The Shining R.
Yeah, oh, I didn't realize that it was The Shining R.
I don't know. The ratings were different back then.
Yeah, but see and also you've probably seen it on TV more than you've seen because I owned it, probably, And like, there's a woman who boobs are hanging out. Then it turns out that she's a she's like a you know, she's a dead person, you know, you know, see them talk.
Yeah, you're right, you're a right, Yeah, Yeah, it's just weird.
Yeah. The original Planet of the Apes or no, the second one, Charlton Heston gets shot in the forehead. They show him with the bullet in his head and blood trickling down g G wild Man.
Yeah no, So what was going on in the world at that time, right? You know that that this is rated Vietnam? Yeah, so there you go. That explains like the stuff you're seeing on TV, you know, with with with everything going on there in Southeast Asia was probably a lot more unsettling. This guy is taking a fake bullet to the head, he's got blood. Yeah, yeah, this is fine. I always bring this up to with how
these ratings are a farce. They're an absolute farce. South Park, I told you the story, right, Oh oh wait, tell me again south Park bigger, longer, and uncut. Yes, I think I know this south Park movie only south Park movie.
Yeah, ridiculous.
They decide they're going to make a movie, they make it really raunchy. They send it in the ratings board. They wanted an R rating, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Yeah, the ratings board said, if you want an R rating, you have to take this out, this out, this out as it stands. The best we can do is NC seventeen. Yeah right, And that infuriated Trey Parker Mattstone. So they
went back. They made it worse, They made it like they added all this extra stuff just as a big few to them, and they sent it back to the ratings board. And then the ratings board sends it back to them, like, okay, now we can give you the R rating. Yes it's a joke. I mean, it's like not to bring up the college football playoff thing, but like, have you been talking about this?
I'm not talking about it, but like.
The Notre Dame aspect of where they're in the top ten, like literally every single week and then the last week and nothing happened, yeah to the team that moved in front of him or not, Like it's it's a farce, and it is. And I think the ratings board is a farce too. I don't even know how much, like I don't. I mean, I feel like there's a lot less emphasis on that nowadays too, Like people don't necessarily care as much as they used to about.
Ratings because we're the generation that like kind of was by five, Like we were the ones that had to sneak the movies. We had to sneak Grand Theft Auto, we had to sneak the South Park movie. And then when we grew up on it. The joke I tell on the show all the time is show me a boomer watching Fox News, and show me a millennial that grew up playing GTA, and one of those people was way more violent than the other. And it's not the
one you think it is. And so we're like kind of grow we're now having our own kids, and it's like, well I still wanna.
You know the thing, the thing that you always rip on me for this for not letting my kids watch stuff. And I think for me, I was really sheltered as a kid as far as what I was able to watch on television and movies. And it was a different era back then, Like there wasn't all this on demand stuff on the internet where I could just watch it whenever.
And I enjoyed that part of my childhood where I feel like I watched my first PG thirteen, my first R movie, I watched them at the right times, like there is there's something I was happy I was not exposing My parents did not expose me to that. Yeah, right's co and Okay, well maybe maybe, But now I want to do the same thing for my kids. You
know why I was telling you. We're watching Stranger Things and there's a scene and I wasn't the first episode of season one where Nancy and Steve are like having sex and my twelve year old son is watching this with me. I'm like, I don't know if I wanted he's twelve. I mean, I don't think it's like you should probably know about this kind of stuff. But at the same time, I want to keep I would I liked I liked being sheltered from that kind of stuff. When I was at age, and I want to pass
that on to my kids too. But I get it, I mean, and I am a staunch believer in what you see, what kids see in video games, television, movies. There there's just been there's been tons of research done on this, and there's just no correlation between you watch this, watch this on TV, then you're gonna be violent in real life or dull. You know what I mean. There's just there has no there's been no significant correlation. So that doesn't bother.
It's not like it was the Wild West in the common Hoers House. What I always find interesting is I could watch as a child. Leprechawn three right. Warwick Davi is at one point a woman from Actually she was an upstart actress in the Texas Chainsaw movies. I don't know what her name is in real life, but she plays like someone in her forties clinging to her youth.
She ends up wishing to be young again. And of course, and I'll be careful what you wish for a movie, all of her body parts start exploding, and I'm sitting there as a nine year old. Her lips get big and explode off her face, her boobs get big, her ass gets big, and she ends up exploding. Mom's like, no issue whatsoever. The classic Christopher Nolan movie Memento, I am watching as a teenager and at one point Trinity whatever her name is in real life.
Oh ah yeah Trace the say Tracy ls Ross.
It's not that it's a three names Ann Moss or something. Carry carry on Moss. Yeah. She calls the main actors, Guy Pierce's wife the sea word. My mom went turn it off. And it's just like the so, like I get, there are certain things you try and keep away from people and then other stuff.
It's funny because my mom didn't really monitor what CDs I was buying, but then she heard me listening to Adam sand like an Adam Sander CD, and she made me get rid of it, you know. And at that point I was like sixteen or seventeen, and I was like, no, I'm old enough to be here this kind of stuff, like I and I don't think I ever sold it. Quite frankly, I think I told her I did.
And further, I hope this isn't TMI, but you told me off the air that there was a nightmare as a result of stranger thing my son. Yeah, did he come clean about that with you? Did? He'd say, well, I did have a nightmare last night as a result of what we want.
Yeah, because he he crawled into bed, like because he is so freaked out about him he so so. Then I was trying to get him to watch more uh Saturday night, uh huh, and he wouldn't do it because he knew he was going to bet right. Okay, But now when he gets home from school and I get home from work, he's like, hey, can we watch an episode?
Like he still wants to watch it, but he doesn't want to put it that close to bed, And I think stranger things, like he's more understanding, like this is kind of a mystery and we don't exactly know what's going on, rather than just like a slasher like a five Nights at Freddy's Wich, it's just like it's all about like the murder and the gore or whatever. You know.
Well, the reason I asked because my brother and I will talk as mid thirty somethings now, because the rule was you can watch this as long as you can handle it. The second you can't handle it, you can't watch this anymore. And I look at him as an adult and I'm like, so, my night my dreams were really messed up as a kid. He's like, oh, yeah, mine too, because I never told mom and dad because I want to be able to keep watching. But yeah,
I would wake up terrified most nights. Like, yeah, me too, Like it definitely screwed with me.
Dude. I don't know if I ever told you this. My brother, who has passed away now, but he's a year and a half younger than me. We used to share a bed and Ghostbusters came out and we didn't see it in the theaters. My dad rented it.
Okay, there's some creepy imagery in that though, you're.
Not gonna believe what I'm about to tell you. And so we slept in the same bed and he was like flipping out and had nightmares. And he watched it once. I don't even know if he watched it again when he was an adult. I never asked him about it, but guess what freaked him out from Ghostbusters? What he had the nightmares about? Oh, what specific thing?
I can't even I mean, i'd assume it would be the dogs, it was not. Nope, you know what what I can't even come.
On, think about that movie, think about the ghost, think about this.
Is it the painting? No, you're you're painting?
You are? You gotta think of something that should not.
Be It's It's not Slimer.
No, no, this thing is more innocuous than Slimmer, Like I I mean to me, it's more funny than anything else. And he was so creeped out by it towards the end of the movie, towards.
It's the end of the movie. It's not stay Puff.
The stay Puff Marshallow, That's what was was. He'd had nightmares about it. He was so freaked out about it. All the other stuff, you know, the screaming woman, ghost in the library, Slimer whatever did that?
Uh? It was, but it doesn't make sense. Like I could sit there and watch all the nightmare and Elm Streets in a row no issues. Watching Christopher Lloyd become a cartoon and freaking who framed Roger Rabbit was nightmare for me. I'd be like, let me know when it's over. I can't handle this anymore.
I guess it's because everybody's different.
Everybody's got their triggers that that kicks them into gear. You know what I had nightmares about for for weeks. Was Joe Peshy threatening to bite all of Kevin McAllister's fingers off in a role alone And I had a dream that things were trying to bite my fingers off for weeks. I was terrified. It wasn't freaking Chucky or Jason was Joe Pesci and a kid. It's weird, Like, that's just how that stuff kind of works, and let's
be real. Maybe you can speak more to this, But the stuff when we were it's like the people threw stuff into screw with us.
Like kids movies would.
Have one random, unnecessarily scary moment in them, like in Home Alone, where like the furnace would come to life and you're like, why do we need this? We don't need this scene in here right now, I'm six.
And getting back to five Nights at Freddy's. Yeah, they pointed out I think it was. It was one of the paranormal investigators in the second one, Yeah, where he gets freaked out by one of the animatronics and he's like, what kid would go to this?
Please?
Yeah, And that's what I was thinking the whole time through the first movie and the second movie. I was thinking that. And I'll tell you the other thing that I didn't like. The most unsettling part of this second movie was the opening scene, which is a flashback to nineteen eighty two.
Yeah.
Now, granted I was only three years old then, but it was very much like the late eighties of Chuck E. Cheese and Chobis Pizza that I remember, and it brought me back. And then to see what happens in that scene, yeah, I just And.
That's probably what they're going for, right, because they assume a lot of the parents in the audience are probably around your age. That's gonna resonate, and the kids playing the game are gonna it's gonna hit them on a different level, which realistically is good movie making. Now I didn't put that to I didn't necessarily feel the nostalgia the same way, but uh, that's interesting.
I'll tell you another thing that I did not like about the second one. Yeah, all the reveals that Vanessa had hidden from Mike. I don't understand in what world is this just so traumatic that that she can't talk about it at the expense of maybe people dying, you know what I mean? Like, and and they even point that they even point that out. I can't remember as the first or of the second one because I watched them close together. But Mike even says, is there anything
else you'd like to tell me? Right? And I'm thinking of like the same thing, and then the big reveal at the end of this one. I'm like, Jesus, what is with this woman? I just I can't believe after all the conversations that she and Mike had and and I'm supposed to believe that, and you know what, and you spoiler alert. And one ends as a setup to a third.
One that is almost certainly coming.
But go on, but we haven't seen anything about like an outspense of like yeah, it's it's been greenlit, we got a script, whatever, but it seems like it's coming.
Yeah.
I can't even imagine what is going to be revealed in the third one, right, you know, the like like as far as or stuff that she was keeping from Mike and and my and and I mean, well, I'll just leave it at that because I'm gonna spoil to you.
Yeah, right, And that is the type. I think we made the comparison before, and I don't remember what movie it was, but I compared it to Breaking Bad, and you said, well, in Breaking Bad, when you have these high octane moments, you might not be thinking clearly and
talk well, which I did concede. I'm like, okay, maybe because I thought a lot of the drama in that show was brought about from A Walt being maybe too vague at times when I'm just like, if you just said what the fucking problem was, we could get out of this. And that was kind of the lynchpin for the entire plot of this movie is that like, yeah, she I just don't feel like talking about it, and like, let's be real. I don't mean to minimize what people
go through, but they're there. Trauma is very much a gen z okay thing that we don't necessarily relates.
What's what's the what's the the the thing with we have been coached and drilled into our brains. These people that that have these traumatic moments. Think about Andrew Garfield and uh the Spider Man for or whatever it was where where he failed to save what's her name Gwen Stacy in The Amazing Spider Man two and then he saves m J. Yeah, you know it's not like he's he's he's peeing himself and frozen. No, he reacts because
he doesn't want this to happen to somebody else. Vanessa, Yeah, seems to be totally like if it is trauma, and if it is these repressed you know memories or not repressed memories, but you know, stuff like that that she can't even think about or talk about or whatever, she is putting lives in danger. And that's not how this works. If you undergo something like that, you want to be able to fix it. The whole idea in the first one, Hutcherson's Mike loses his brother, and the whole idea is
him trying to fix it. He doesn't want to see who took his brother. He wants to fix it. He wants to go back and fix it right and and he has the opportunity now with his sister to you know, make sure that that she's healthy, and he doesn't give it now. He makes that mistake briefly in the first one. Right, but but the but, but this whole aspect of all this this I can't even imagine the horrific childhood that Vanessa went through knowing that her father, like did she
know that he was a serial killer? Growing up I think she did, yeah, and and and something like that. I'm sure it was an awful childhood, but at that same time, like you, you got to be able to understand you are an adult. Now, these are kids that you you can protect. And I'm going off on this and it's a stupid thing to go off. No, No, I was annoyed by it.
I'm biting my tongue and letting you rant because I'm glad you made By the.
Way, by the way, I don't I don't fault Vanessa the character. I fault those screenwriters.
Okay, so that's what. I'm glad you took it there because I was gonna bring this up, and I'm glad organically you kind of felt the same way. Here have we evolved? And by we, I don't mean you and I I mean movie watchers because the trope of stupid contrivances and horror movies is so well done that Geico commercials have people hiding behind the chainsaws right go to the cemetery, like while they're being chased by the thing.
Have we gotten to a point? Because I would argue, in the last ten years, horror has become much smarter, much more well written. A lot of times I find myself. I was watching until dawn and I was like, oh, well, I would just hide in the bathroom until the sun came up. In twenty minutes in they're like, let's just hide in the bathroom till the sun comes up. I'm like, okay. And then they show you why that doesn't work. And old movies wouldn't do that. They'd be like, the killer
comes in, let's run up the steps. Well, there's no way to escape. You never questioned it because it's a horror movie. They're teenagers. They do the dumb thing. They're
always gonna do the dumb thing. And we've kind of evolved as movie writers as movie watchers to the point where now when you see those heavy contrivances, when you see plot information just withheld for no reason other than withholding it, it sticks out a lot more than it used to and it's much more distracting than it used to be in my opinion, Or am I just old and cynical?
I don't know, no, one hundred percent. And the audiences have changed. Expect We bring this up all the time. Expectations have changed. Movie watching is different. We used to go to the theater to escape our lives for two hours or whatever, an hour and a half, right, and let things happen to us passively. That's how That's how
movies were seventies, eighties, nineties really too. Now with the explosion of the inner, with the explosion of all these other people that we can immediately we can share our experiences with right of watching all these movies, we are actively watching stuff. There's no passive We are actively watching things. Stuff is not happening to us. We're trying to figure
out who the killer is. We're trying to figure out why this scene was shot this way, why why this was shown in the way it was, why something was not shown, what was said, what wasn't said. So we're constantly and this is not true for everybody. I think there's plenty of casual moviegers that do not watch movies this way. But I think trying to get people to the theater, trying to give them something new, you're giving them a new experience because we watch movies differently than
we television shows too. We watch it differently. Now you can go full you know, maybe a little bit. And this is maybe not a good example to prove my point, but like Lost right, that television show. I was trying to explain it to my kids the other day. I'm like, oh, yeah, there's polar bears and a plane crash and then there's a time jump, and like and I'm saying it out loud, I'm like, who would ever watch this show?
Right?
Because they went full bore and into like really challenging you to pick up every idiosyncrasy on that where you don't know what's going on. But you can't be so lazy to just leave a trail of breadcrumbs that's so easily founcked.
That's not a fun watch exactly. That's actually what George R. R. Martin is running into finishing his books. Yeah, he said you can't. You can't. He that I've been writing for twenty years towards the eventual outcome that the Butler did it. But because I have this new large audience now, a lot of people are saying, hey, I think the Butler
did it. He's trying to now circumvent what everybody else is thinking, which is ultimately going to end up being a worse product now because it's going to be a little bit more contrived. It's exactly what you're describing, and I'm a very big believer Bulky that you can have it both ways, Like if this movie had been better, Yeah, there is a place in the world for a simple popcorn flick in twenty twenty five. Still, I think there were other people that would absolutely be happy to passively
watch something that's not gonna make you think. There's not going to be any messaging. My go to my quintessential. No matter how many times I watch it, I cannot find a message in this movie. Movie is face off. It's just fun for two hours and then it's over and there's nothing for you to think about. There's no greater message, there's no like, oh you know at the end of the day, the energy was in yourself. Like no,
it's just a fun movie. And very rarely it's like people almost don't even want that anymore, like because they can't process it the same way, but like it can exist and it's just not out there anymore. It's like you said, it's a much more active process now, and that's fine. I mean, like I'm not complaining. I love active walking.
Expendables yeas a perfect example. Yes, yeah, we're like, yeah, we gotta rescue this guy I'm going to kill a lot of people to do it. Yeah, sign me up. Yeah, face off. Hey, what if we actually could like take a villain's body and put him in a hero It's so it's so nonsensical, right, But what if? What if we made a movie about breaking into Alcatraz? Yes, and stopping Terrist?
There?
What if? What if criminals being transported by plane took over the plane?
But see, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Though the rock was about the prison system. It was about how we treat vets after they return con Air. You really want me to get me started? I promise I won't dive into.
Here's the thing, here's the thing that that was just that was shrapnel. What you're describing was just shrapnel. In these movies, they weren't about here's.
The thing, here's the thing. You ready for this, I'm gonna blow your freaking mind. And if you want, I'll go. I'll tell you more off the arcause I don't want to take it too far unless you want to go there. Con Air is right wing propaganda. It is it is designed to get you empathizing with a certain type of person in this country. And like as soon as you look at it through that lens. You're like Son of a Bitch. Still one of my favorite movies of all time.
Absolutely love the movie. But it's propaganda and it's disguised as a well made action movie. I have watched Face Off a million times. There is no shrapnel exercise here. There is just fun for two hours, Okay, Nick Cage doing drugs and being goofy for two hours to.
To kind of let the listeners know I am not as cynical as you are. Yeah, these messages, yes, I understand they exist. Okay, but to me, that was just happenstance. That just happened to be a part.
Of the movie.
That was not the movie. That's not it was not a commentary on that.
We'll talk conn Air after this episode.
You can't. We should do conn Air, We should do conn a podcast. Any excuse to rewatch that one? I could get behind it. Anyway. What was I getting back to? Okay, popcorn movie? Yes, okay, here's what I was gonna say there. That's fine, and people will see those movies. Yeah, don't pretend to be something else. If that's what's and five Nights at Freddie's two pretended to be something else, like throughout the last forty five minutes of it or whatever.
That's such a good I didn't make that jump. And now that I'm hearing you say it, that's exactly what I didn't like about it.
You know, I'm trying to take a good example of this.
Woolly's Wonder World didn't pretend to be something it wasn't. It was like, this is ridiculous. Watch us get ridiculous school project. Take it back to when you're in school. This is five nights at Freddie's too. This is my analogy. You get this big project.
You're excited to work on it, like a report or maybe a piece of art or some sort of you know, diorama, maybe a robot like sure Science Fair or whatever. Yeah, you're excited to do this. You're very excited, and you want to make sure you do it right. You want to make sure you get every little thing right. So you're very meticulous about putting certain things in places right and getting it right, and knowing that this is gonna be a long time, but it's gonna be worth it
at the end because how hard you work. Yeah, and then you're all of a sudden that deadline is creeping up on you, right, and you're like, God, I can't, I can't. I can't do this the way I wanted to. Now I'm gonna start making some some changes and it's not gonna be perfect. And and then you're like, you're right up against the deadline and like, well, now this has just turned into gobbledegook. I just got to get it done at this point. That's what this storyline felt
like to me. It was just they threw this stuff in at the end, this hand of God crap, which I hate, and it was it was lazy, you know, you you and I don't know what it is, like,
I think I brought this up before. I just don't like we're like this all of a sudden, you know, the claw reaches down and puts something in right at the end of the movie, where where it seems totally out of place, it seems lazy, and this is all stuff that that should have been, like you said, should have been revealed earlier, and it's and it's revealed later and it kind of changes, it kind of bastardizes the whole for me. I just I hate that. Yeah, that's
what this movie was to me. It's pretending to be more of a epic is too strong of a word.
If you were fourteen, do you think you would have viewed it more like what? Yeah, I was a lot less that's fundamentally who this is for. Well, I was a lot less cynical when I was fourteen. Yeah, So if I'm watching this as a fourteen year old, I'm like, oh, this is crazy, But I haven't been exposed to a bunch of other great movies that were written properly. Yeah, But to put it in perspective.
I just think like, you could have make it. You could have made this movie for a fourteen year old and a forty four year old, and you could have done it right where both both demographics could have enjoyed it.
I am one hundred percent in agreement with you. Here's what they're running into. And I'm not saying this is an insurmountable hurdle because other people have pulled this off. But do you remember when they made a battleship movie, Yeah, Leila Kitch, Yes, and it's yeah Liam Neeson and the it's literally about the board game. But other than the name of the movie, it really has nothing to do
with the concept of battleship it's important to recognize. I'm sure a lot of people listening here have not played Five Nights at Freddy. The actual plot to the game, like what we are operating with.
Which we're like an hour in. We haven't explained this.
You're watching cameras for ten minutes and all the machines start off on the stage, but then when you're not looking at that camera, you go back and they're not there anymore. And your objective is to make sure that they do not get to the room that you are in, right, and they still they get closer in as long as you keep checking all the cameras and flicking all the light switches and keep your eye on everything, it won't get you. And it all culminates in a giant jump scare.
That's the entire game. That is the entire game. Relatively, no low I'm not gonna say none, because if any Five Nights at Freddie fans do come across this, there is lore. But it is much like this. It is just like, hey, quick throw three lines of dialogue that are vague enough to keep people guessing about where it's gonna be from here, And the director decided instead of taking that ambiguity, because you could have made this movie just as ambiguous as the game and it would have
been fine. I think in a lot of people's eyes, they decided, let's explain everything. I compared it on your radio show to Alien Covenant. I never cared where the Xeno Morphs came from. I did not need to see a backstory for forty five minutes of all with Actually the scariness of the Aliens comes from not really understanding
where they come from. And this movie decided, actually, we're going to explain some of it, leave some of this up in the air for a potential sequel, but by and large, we're gonna take a lot of the mystery out of it. And it's in a ham fisted way that felt like it was written by someone that, as you highlighted, maybe was a little rushed towards the end of production. Here.
Ah, I'll say this conversely, I got a little confused.
Yeah, I'd agree.
The spirits and the robots, Yeah, mixing them up, not sure who's good was the one?
What was the one they saw? Or we couldn't keep everybody straight where they all jumped into different bodies.
Oh it's what's inside.
So what's inside. It was very reminisce of okay, wait a minute, yeah.
Only now with animatronics. It's like, oh god, I can't. And then the new one was the old one, but the old one neverga you know, because they had like this this the five nights, so the way that they set up the second one, apparently there was another five Freddy fas bears, so whatever, and and that one closed you'll find out why. And then a new one like, yeah, the one we watched in the first one was actually
the new one. Yeah, okay, I see that. And then and is that a metaphor for the first I can't know. I don't know.
I was Is that what they were going for? Because the first one was not well received? This one is, despite our reaction, more well received.
Why is that?
I don't know. I don't know, honestly, but the people that the faithful seem to appreciate this one a lot more.
It's just to see a panned movie critically and by audiences. Yeah, and then somehow they get funding to make a sequel, and the sequel not only does better, but people are loving to go see this one, right. That's I mean what I get it? If the sequel was better than the original, But don't you have doesn't the original have to be really good in order to get a sequel?
Right, dude? This might be six seven the movie, you know what I mean? Like, maybe we just don't get it. Yeah, maybe it's just after our time in a way.
That was the marketing different for this one?
No, No, I'd argue there was much more marketing for the first one. Yeah, that I had, Like, I was actually excited about the first one. Have you not played the games? Like, you know, people say these are really scary games. I can't wait to check this out. And forty five minutes in, I still haven't seen an animatronic. I'm like, what, what the hell is this?
There's a lot of exposition, and.
Yeah, what am I signing up for right now? Where is this? It at least got into it a little bit more here and again if I were a fan of it, like, I'll be real. I did watch the animated Super Mario movie when it went to Netflix. I was like, you know this was reviewed, well, I love the Mario brothers. Let's check this out. In every seven seconds, there was a callback to anybody who grew up playing the original Nintendo and I was like, man, I know
this movie sucks. You'll never convince me. There was even a script. People just showed up to work said what are we doing today? And there's part of me, in the basest form of my being. It's just like, ah, this is a pleasant experience and I don't know why. And I feel like there's people there's nostalgia, right, and I think that I'm intelligent enough to acknowledge it, but at the same time not intelligent enough to escape it.
And I feel like maybe there's a little bit because this is I don't know if you honestly understand how big of a phenomenon Five Nights Freddy's really is. I don't. I mean, I know it's huge, like it's huge, like and it's just it's much like the Minecraft movie, which is after our time, and there's tens of millions of people people didn't know the characters and want to see x Y and z app and probably loved the little Easter eggs that went right over all our.
Heads for sure throughout this and where we're because we're just we don't have the experience of playing the game, so we're just focused on the actual story, right, and how it's being told.
Whereas I'm watching the Mario movie and I hear the duck Hunt sound effect, I'm like, oh, triggered something like I just felt that in the back of my brain as soon as I heard the sound effect in a way that this movie's never Even if I had played the Games, I would have played them as a mid twenty something based on when they came out.
Do you know I believe they are making a live action Adventures of Zelda? Yeah they are? Yes, Okay, all right, I didn't see. I saw who's got cast as Zelda and Lincoln. Yeah, and I never heard of either one of my probably British acts.
And again, you want to talk about bare bones plot, Guy saves girl from giant pig looking monster. That's the entire plot of like seventeen games. I know, yeah, well, how they're gonna do that kind of stuff there, But you know, we'll see how they end up doing it. But like I'm trying to give this movie will be the benefit of the doubt, Like if you're listening and
you have any connection at all, maybe it'll hit harder. Yeah, to go in as a fan of horror and not necessarily five nights at Freddy's PG.
Thirteen.
Yeah, not good, not not impressed really in any kind of way. And I've never played Until Dawn, But Until Dawn R rated very fun movie, you know, like you can do it right. Even the resident Evils that I've kind of crept on. There are moments where I'm like, you know, this is stupid, but this is fun. Yeah, and that I did not get that feeling at any point during this movie.
I don't know why I did this. And this is a little off topic, but that's the first show. Yeah, I told him, told you about my kid having nightmares. Yeah, so he went and slept in my bed. Okay, and I shouldn't say my bed. So my wife and I have been sleep divorced for years, sure, because I got a cepap and she can't sleep. So I sleep in the basement and my wife sleeps in our bed, which when she goes out of town, I sleep on that bed because they kids want me up there to get.
I sleep so much better on it. I gotta get I gotta lose weight and get back into that bed because it's so much better. Anyway, So he wants me upstairs. He doesn't want me going downstairs, right, yeah, and and so so I'm like fine, So I went in his room and I was just gonna stay there till he fell asleep. And and this is at like midnight, eleven thirty and uh, I throw on Netflix on my phone. G I Joe Retaliation was on. Oh sure, okay, yeah, And I watched that the whole thing. Yeah, could not
turn it off. Not a great movie. No love watching it.
Yeah, me too.
There are so many good scenes in that. But like it is, it is hokey, it is stupid. Nobody is at the peak of their powers in this movie, you know, at all. And and and it's just this fun, schlocky thing where hey, Hasbro's gonna give us a gajillion dollars and we're gonna make this movie.
And it pays off on the president being a doppel ganger, like they didn't need to follow up on that storyline, and they did, and I was just like, good, yeah, good.
This is the only thing that was bad. Was gonna get Joseph Gordon Levitt as as Yeah, which, by the way, he oh dude, you got to look up him on Wikipedia. I gotta think about this for a second. He was he was a voice. I'm gonna look it up. I'm gonna look up because I know what I'm looking for here. This could have been a movie that we just watched and I'm like, oh my god, he was in this and it was a.
Voice I'll talk while you look at it. Do that and it's uh. But that goes to show you, though, is that G I Joe for you? And to a certain extent my generation is what five Nights that Freddy is for a different group? Like would we feel the same way about G I Joe Retaliation if we didn't know G I Joe from the PSAs? Right, It's like g I Joe? Like if if hearing that doesn't resonate with you, maybe the movies might not resonate nate you with it as well either, because that that that movie
had some shortcomings. What do you got?
Uh? He was voice actor only in the New Knives Out movie?
Who's that? Joe?
Joseph Gordon not in the movie, but he has a voice cameo. He's not himself, he's playing somebody else. But I'm like, where did I just see that? Which, by the way, what are we doing with that? Are we going to do a podcast on that one? Or are we just going to.
Say, well, I thought that's what we decided.
We're doing well the next one, Yeah, okay, perfect, because I'm gonna watch the first two, okay and compare it because commission's asking me, He's like, oh, how was the third one? Like, I never saw the first two, so I can't really compare it, and I saw the third one first. So anyway, back to five nights at frames.
We'll get into that tomorrow next week.
I don't think I have anything else.
Yeah, no, I think I'm tapped out on this one here. Don't see it. Wait for it to be free.
Yeah, I mean six is what I was gonna give it. And if too aggressive, yeah yeah, I mean.
I was gonna say three and a half.
Well not that long. Maybe I can drop it down to five and a half. Not I can't do five. Five is too bad? Yeah, I do five and a half. For the effort. Yeah, they tried to make a good movie. It had some elements, right, sure, you know, it's just.
Yeah, there's some fans service like that. I don't think that can.
I think people who played the game will probably get more give it, definitely give it a higher grade than I am. Yeah, I think you're probably right. And again it's just like I always say about rating comic book movies, like you have to take into effect the fact that you and I has grown ass men like it is a happy buy product. It is not necessarily the guarantee
it is for fourteen year olds. Yeah, outside of maybe Batman, it's for fourteen year olds by and large, and the fact that we get entertainment from it is just nice. Same thing here, you can make the arguments for a younger than fourteen year olds.
Yeah, to a certain extent. It depends because, like you know, Winter Soldier, it's like a spy thriller with government. It depends on which one, but Spider Man. I feel like a grandfather watching Like for the demograph.
I feel like, you know, we're just talking about wonder Man. I think when that comes out, that's totally gonna be sugary bubblegummy, you know, yeah, meant for you know, younger demographic. I don't think we're gonna get you think. So I don't know enough about wonder Man, do you know what with the plot is? No, so I can't remember his name and I'll butcher it. He was black Manta, Yeah,
he was doctor Manhattan. In the Watchman television show on HBO. Okay, okay, he plays a stunt actor like he's a in l a right. Sure, but he gets superpowers okay somehow, and I don't know how he gets them. And his brother, I think is the villain. And his brother also gets superpowers, but he is bad, like he turns out to be. So I think it's brother versus brother, and they're both these you know, this guy was just a Hollywood stunt actor that all of a sudden was was blessed with you know.
Ah yeah, abdul Mantine the second there you go, that's it, and he was I probably butchered it. And I'm reading it.
I want to say he was in the.
Ed Harris is in this movie.
I didn't know that or show.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Ben Kingsley obviously is Yeah what were candy Man? Were we talking about?
Oh?
Sure, yeah, the reboot? I think were talking about it. He I think he was the star. Yeah yeah, And I think he's a really talented actor. It's weird some of the some of the jobs he gets. I feel like he should be doing more serious, you know, stuff like like kind of not to be racist, but kind of what Jonathan Major's was getting right, Yeah, you know, like with love love Crafts whatever it is called.
Yeah, Lovecraft Country was great, and I.
Feel like he should be doing more serious stuff, like because I think he's a really good actor and I think he's classically trained too, And then he's doing stuff like wonder Man, which is fine.
But yeah, I don't see any reason. I like, I'll be interested to see how they end up playing this out here, but yeah, you could be right. I hope you're wrong, because I do enjoy the more mature stuff. But based on this, watch the trailer. Watch the trailer because it's it's just I will.
I feel like the Benny Hill theme should be playing.
I haven't seen the trailer, but but just to leave it on a positive note here, given what you said, since we're doing a horror thing, go watch the Candyman remake. If you haven't seen that, that that'd be more worth your time than watching Five.
Nights unless you played the game.
I'm unless you played the.
Game that this would probably be a better But.
I can say Candy Man remake even if you've seen the original. If you ask me which one would you prefer, I'd say give me both of them, I'd say very rarely. Can you say like, they're both fantastic in different ways? And I can say that, So take that with you on your way out the door, because I sure as hell can't recommend this. What's it called next week? Wake Up dead.
Man, Knives Out Wake Up dead Man?
Yeah, is what we're gonna be doing, Netflix exclusive, although it has been out in theaters hence why you're kind of talking about it already, but yeah, I'm gonna catch it once it's available on Netflix last one of the year as well, so yeah, yeah, we'll be tuning in for that there or catching you then, thank you for listening. We'll talk to you next week.