Dear Christian, This is Why You Never Mess with Pornography... - podcast episode cover

Dear Christian, This is Why You Never Mess with Pornography...

Mar 03, 202224 min
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Episode description

Pornography addiction and how to stop watching porn as a Christian. Joe Kirby from Off The Kirb Ministries.

Transcript

On a scale of 1 to 10. How badly do you want to escape your pornography addiction? One. Meaning? I don't really care that much Joe and 10 meaning. I cannot live a day longer with this sin in my life. If the answers 10, would you do a favor for me? Would you please watch this video all the way through? I think today? You're going to hear something new something fresh, that you've never heard in all of the videos. You've watched in all of the advice, you've heard on how to

overcome this addiction. I think, today could be the day. You hear something new and finally, get this thing out of your life forever. Okay, watch this, this diagram in my hand is what I like to call the pornography cycle. And once you understand each of these phases, you'll finally understand. Why is you keep going back and back and back again to watching wrong things on the internet? Okay, firstly, the Temptation. Phase. Now above all. Remember this, you will have

Thing, which will trigger you. You will have a sort of stepping stone, which will lead you into pornography. And once you understand this, well, then you've won half the battle for some people. They might see someone walking down the street and they lost after them, and the image the picture in their mind, the wrong thoughts.

It draws down into the heart and there's a sort of seed that is planted and that seed grows over a couple of days, maybe weeks until they keep fighting, they keep fighting these thoughts. It's and then they crash and they fall into pornography. Some people that they might be scrolling on Tick-Tock or Instagram. And again, they see an image, they see something and the thought sticks in their mind until the LED away into sexual sin.

For some people. They might live a very stressful life, their home life might be horrible. They might be an argument, their work like their career. They might really struggle and the stress, the mental stress builds up, and they sort of Lights themselves. Deceived themselves and say, I need this, I need to release and instead of going to the Lord because the Bible says, come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Instead of going to the Lord and

giving their burdens to him. They go to pornography to sort of, give them self a release to sort of take the edge off the stress and give them self a brain massage. So they can relax for a few hours and some people. Their trigger point is discouragement depression. They've experienced a source of rejection in life. They feel like no one loves them. So, what do they do? They've trained their mind over many many years to believe that if I go into the world of

pornography. I'll receive acceptance love. They'll be someone there that will make me feel good about myself. And even though it's a false world, even though it's a fake World. They have told themselves. There is a guarantee that when I go onto these images, I will feel better about myself and do they feel better about themselves? Maybe temporarily, but when it's all over, all these feelings of hurt and self-loathing come back. Hey, now some people this phase doesn't even exist.

They're not even tempted anymore because the Habit is so deeply ingrained on their minds. They're not even tempted anymore. They just run to the pornography all the time in their lives and they promised themselves. One day. I'll stop, but they never do, unless they really do take action. So, here's the big question, which Which one are you? Are you going to pornography to try and self-soothe to take the

edge of stress off life? Or are you more of the man or woman who fights and fights against it? And one image gets in front of your eyes and it grows and you end up clicking on images. Whatever it is. No, your trigger because once, you know, your trigger, you are a lot stronger to fight against this thing. The second phase of the pornography cycle. We're going to come back to this.

In a moment is the ritual phase. The ritual phase is basically this You, if you are addicted to pornography, have certain rituals that you follow religiously before you watch pornography. And after you watch pornography, perhaps you make sure that the house is empty. Perhaps just hearing the front door closer knowing that you're all alone is enough to trigger you to think, actually, maybe I could go and watch wrong things on the internet right now.

Perhaps you go to a different room in the house. Maybe you turn the lights off. Maybe you open up a new tab, whatever it is. It's actually you might think it's trivial but it is actually so important to identify because once you realize what these rituals are, there is a chance to break them and break this habit, this addiction which has become a pattern and your brain and your body is got so used to following this robotic motion over these many years.

And that leads us on to the sin phase. You can probably imagine what happens in this phase. This is when the devil has you, where he wants you, you are now, Watching wrong things on the internet and probably doing wrong things to yourself committing sins that, you know, you should not be committing right now. Let me tell you something embarrassing about myself. I remember, when I used to spend hours and hours on pornography.

I would be looking just literally for such a long time for the Perfect Image, the perfect glance the perfect sort of perfection, and beauty and I would spend so much time trying to find it, but I never found it. It why? Because my heart was designed for something bigger. I was designed for a greater Beauty. Not a beauty that could be found on any pornographic website. No, it was designed for the beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ because he alone can satisfy our

souls. And the final part of the pornography cycle is the shame phase. This is the part where you realize literally a second. After you committed the sin, you realize You've been cheated, you're angry. You're annoyed at yourself. You knew when you started this. It would not satisfy. You knew that only hope and peace can be found in the Lord God. And yet you have gone back to this same sin again and you feel guilty.

You feel shameful. You feel disgusted that you're just this week person who keeps returning to the same sin over and over again. Now, remember I said, I'd come back to the ritual stage. Well, think about this. This. Just like you have rituals that you follow before you watch pornography. There are also things that you do every single time. After you've watched pornography for me. I remember when I was at University.

I wasn't actually watching much pornography then, but I was sleeping with my girlfriend as a backslidden Christian. And I remember, I would take what I've now called, Shame showers. I'd get in the shower and I just sort of scrub my body sometimes I'd cry, but it was almost as if I was trying to scrub Away the sin because I was so annoyed. I was so upset at myself that I kept committing this sin over and over again, and that's how the pornography addict lives.

They just follow this cycle over and over again because they feel shame. The only way they can self soothe themselves. The only way they can cope with their shame is by going back to the sin. And this repeats itself day after day, week, after week, year, after year. Year until one day, the pornography addicts says enough is enough. And today this very day. I want that to be the day for you where you say enough is enough. So talk to me. Joe. How do I overcome my pornography addiction?

Well, there's actually one word that I think will really change your mind and I don't think many preachers ever talk about this, but we're actually going to look at science a little bit. Now if you want to see a more spiritual way of Attacking pornography. Here's a video here and I'll give you a link to it at the end of the video. But right now I want to look at the science behind it. And there's one word. I want you to think about and

it's this word dopamine. I'm not a scientist, but from my understanding dopamine is a chemical that your brain releases. Every time you do an activity is sort of rewards you by giving you a feeling of pleasure. Dopamine is the reason why eating a bar of chocolate feel so good. Good dopamine is the reason why we have millions of drug addicts, all around the world because every time they take these drugs, it releases dopamine in their brains dopamine.

Is even the reason why you are probably addicted to your smartphone because every time you hear this noise, you get a little dopamine hit with the expectation of getting a message or gaining a new follower on one of your social media platforms, but here's the terrifying reality. There is no No substance on Earth that gives you a bigger dopamine hit than pornography. Let me repeat that. There is no substance on Earth. That releases a bigger dopamine hit than pornography. Why is that?

Well, let's go back to the drug addicts. You can only snore. So much cocaine. If you're an alcohol, you can only drink so much alcohol

before you eventually pass out. You can only eat so much chocolate before, you're sick or your full, there's only so much you can take and so the dopamine In will eventually start but a man or a woman can sit on their computer for hours, even days at a time and watch pornographic image after pornographic image and keep releasing dopamine over hours and hours, but here is perhaps the even scarier true? Very sadly, many people are exposed to pornography as a teenager in childhood basically

and the day. They first, see that pornographic image. They get a huge dopamine here. They Huge release of pleasure and excitement. And that image might actually be quite mild. Now, don't misunderstand me when I say that. But you know what, I mean, might be quite mild, might be quite soft core in terms of pornography, And yet when that boy or that girl, grows up into adulthood, if they keep watching pornographic image and they keep watching more and more of this

filth on the internet, suddenly. They need more graphic things. Or vile things. More exciting, bigger different weird things to raise the levels of dopamine until they have started to watch some really, really scary dark deprave things. Now all pornography is depraved. But you know what, I'm trying to say dopamine won't give you the same hit when you started as when you are now in this

further, long heavy addiction. I do hear what, some of you are saying some of you saying but Joe Wasn't dopamine created by God if God made the human brain. And the Brain releases dopamine didn't God, create dopamine and you're absolutely right. Dopamine is actually a beautiful thing. God said, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

He see sexual intercourse in the walls of marriage is a beautiful thing and God has given it as a gift. You see sex is actually a wonderful thing. You're watching this video right now because of sex you're alive right now because of sex, I'm sorry to put it so bluntly but it's true, isn't it? And God gives us dopamine when a married couple have intercourse with one.

Another dopamine is released. But you see the devil has exploited dopamine because he knows that dopamine is released when a man or woman have sex inside of marriage its release. East, he's tricked Millions, perhaps even billions of people around the world that when they watch pornography the human brain thinks it is having sex. So it releases dopamine.

When you watch pornography, you are watching the devil's, television network and he is got millions of people around the world deceiving themselves as they're clicking on images, thinking that they are having sex. But of course, they know they're not and the devil knows they're not. The human brain cannot tell the difference and that's why pornography is so addictive.

So, how do you know, if pornography has messed up, your dopamine receptors in your brain, but one of the signs is this, do you ever feel like when you're in a conversation with other people? Everyone else is engaged but you feel totally bored. Do you struggle to concentrate on your studies? Because did you know this the brain will release dopamine when you're working on a project, the brain will release dopamine when you're watching a movie.

Movie, do you struggle to sit down and watch a movie? Do you feel like you've sort of got ADHD, kind of symptoms that is a sign that your dopamine receptors are all off and the only time you might feel comfort and you might feel safe is when you're watching pornography. That's how you know, you're in a

total mess. But here's something positive to remember, when you overcome your pornography addiction, and notice how I use the word when the Bible says, we are dead to our sins, and I believe you, Really can get free from this. If you really want to, you can get free from this addiction. But when you finally come off pornography, your dopamine receptors will go back to normal and your brain can heal itself. So you can enjoy time with your family.

You can enjoy a movie, a phone call isn't boring anymore and you're not scrolling through your phone as, as your friends talking to, you know, you're able to listen and concentrate. So, just remember that everything can go back to normal and you can enjoy the small blessings that God gives us that really make up life. So let me give you a couple of tips on how you can reset your brain. One of the things you want to think about doing is what's

called a dopamine detox. So all these things which give you big dopamine hits, you want to rub draw from them completely and try and let your brain go back to normal natural levels. We're just having a drink of water. Even gives you a sense of pleasure and thankfulness if you like. So, how do we do that? Well, I think it's brilliant. If you Get away on a short-term mission trip or if you can go away with your family on a vacation, have a time away where perhaps you leave all of your

electronic devices. You have no time when you have minimal time on the internet, get away. And just spend some time with people, that will really help your brain have a couple of weeks chance to heal. And then when you come back from your break away, make sure you're really self-aware of all of the triggers and think right. Wow. Now, I've had this time away now. I've had a chance my brain to

heal. I must not now fall back into the same habits because my brain already feels so much better, and so much clearer now, I've been away from pornography. Another great thing to do to help your brain heal is to radically transform your life in every area. What you need to remember is this cold turkey will produce results, but it won't produce lasting results for you to really Break Free. You need to replace your Old bad habit of watching? Pornography with a new habit.

Look, it's a bit like this. I don't know if you like hiking in the mountains. Well, I personally do for anyone who goes hiking or walking often, you'd be foolish not to follow the path. There's very often a really well-trodden path and, you know, just follow that path and you'll get to your destination. But have you ever noticed that sometimes you'll get the really well-trodden path.

And then they'll be another path that just veers off where if you like them or and eccentric Walkers or the more and stubborn walkers have gone their own way and they've carved out A New Path. It's not as deep. It's not as firm as the other one, but it is starting to leave its Mark. Well, that's what you've got to

see the brain. Like you see your brain now has a really deep path which leads instantly to pornography that is a path that has been well trodden and you've gone to it many many times, but just like if all the Walkers stop walking on the well-trodden path And then use this other path that veers off. Eventually, grass will cover up the well-trodden path. And this new one will grow. That's what you need to do with your mind.

You need to set a new habit, a new hobby, maybe a new project, something new, which replaces the old habit, and then your brain gets used to go into that place. At first, you will meet a lot of resistance because your brain doesn't like big changes but eventually once you set that New habit in place. It will be harder for your brain to return to the old habit of pornography. Does that make sense? So, here are some ideas perhaps. I don't know. Maybe you'd there's a sport that

you'd love to try and play. Maybe that could be your new hobby. Perhaps, there's a language. You'd like to learn. Maybe you just need to really, really focus on your work or on tidying your house and doing up your house manually, whatever it is think of a project think of something which you're passionate about. Out, which you can get excited about and let that be the thing.

You focus, your mind on rather than giving all of this time, procrastinating, watching sinful things on the internet. I'll tell you something else, which is so, so important in breaking the chains of this addiction is fasting. If you subscribe to this YouTube channel, you know, I really do believe in fasting and prayer and in my own life. I've seen it conquer. Great sends. You see the disciples once approached Jesus and said, why

is it? We couldn't cast out this demon, But You, O, Lord could, and Jesus responded by saying this demon will only leave through prayer and fasting. And sometimes there are dark things. There are dark sins, which have clung to us for years and years. And the only way they can leave is through prayer and fasting. So if you've not yet seriously fasted and sought the Lord's face for him to deliver you of this sin or mayor gently suggest

today should Be the day. You start a fast before the Lord. Now. I've spoken a lot already and I want to say to you, if you've watched this long. Thank you for being so gracious to listen to what I've got to say, but there's one more thing that I really feel the Lord would want me to drive home right now. And it's this, I believe there's someone watching this video right now. And the reason you keep going back to pornography over and over again. It's for this one reason.

You hate yourself, you really, really hate yourself. And if we go back to the pornography cycle, we see the shame fuels, everything that happens from this cycle because you feel rubbish about yourself because you are disgusted with yourself because perhaps you've had rejection or terrible trauma in the past. It's LED you into this wicked sin, and it's got a hold of you. My dear friends. I remember when I was really bad with watching things on the

internet. There was a bridge that I used to walk across very often and the thoughts, I won't share them with you. But the thoughts I used to think about how I could hurt myself was all, because I was so angry and so disgusted at myself, for this sin. I kept committing and sometimes preachers say this about this ministry, people have said to me, you're Other Christians in their sin, you're not being hard enough.

You're not being harsh enough. He needs to be more brutal with people, and please don't misunderstand me. There is a time to be brutal. There is a time to rebuke someone very hard line in the face, but I don't believe when it comes to sexual sin like this. It's appropriate. Why? Because the person who's committing sexual sin is already broken, and I can tell you right now is the grace of God.

That sets people free, you can shout at people, you can get angry at them, but that will just lead them further and further into this addiction, and I'm in danger now of boasting. But everyday, I pray to the Lord, I beg God for all of the subscribers that I have on my channel. I plead with God, please. If there are any of them who are struggling with repetitive sin. If there are any who are in pure, please help them to walk the path of Purity.

I don't Just say messages that Comfort people into their sin and make them more addicted. Just because that tickles there is no, I can tell you right now. I want every single one of these people to walk in Holiness, because that's what God calls us to do. So if you are watching pornography, if you are addicted, I want to tell you something. God, still loves you. God's love is unconditional. It's not anything to do with what we do. He loves us.

Because he loves us and Jesus Christ on the cross. He died for pornography addicts. He died for sexual Sinners. He died for liars, for deceivers on the cross. Jesus Christ was punished and you need to remember that. He took the shame of our sin and carried it on the cross. So it's gone forever more. So I plead with you if there's anyone watching today who has not yet, received that love. Lord, Jesus Christ. Remind yourself.

God loves me. And Jesus died for me, and come to the cross and get that forgiveness, that only Jesus can give you and let your sins be washed away and dwell in the forgiveness and righteousness of God, because anyone who's been born of God is declared righteous. And the god of the universe is a merciful god. I don't know if there's anyone who's American watching this.

Well, in fact, I do, I do know, there's many people who are American watching this because that's the majority of my audience, but I don't know if there's anyone who lives near Niagara River. I've heard that at Niagara River, there's a point and it was once called The Point Of No Redemption or the point of no return. And when a ship went past this point, it would go right over the waterfall. And that was it. There was no return, but very, very occasionally.

There was a ship one or two ships and a gust of And once said, gone past the point of no return, the ship was saved, and the people were kept safe, but I want to tell you right now, anyone who's listening, anyone who is watching this video right? Now. You've not yet gone past the point of no return. God has given you breath in your lungs. There is an opportunity to repent today. And right now I want to tell you you really can get free from this sin. So don't lose.

Hope go. God is love and God can carry your shame and take it away from you and deliver you and give you Victory from this sin. Now, as promised here is the video that I told you about that is more dealing with the spiritual side of how to overcome sexual sin. If you'd like to watch it. Please click here, and if you haven't yet subscribed to this ministry, please do consider subscribing. We'd love your friendship, here off the curb Ministries. God bless you all.

And thank you for watching.

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