Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Georgian Walkin. It was just the sides, and then they called me back to come the next day to read for David Chase, and I remember at the end of the audition I said to him do you need me to sing? And he said for what? And they said never right. Hi everybody, my name is Jamie Lindseigler. You probably know me best as Meato soprano from the Sopranos. And you're listening to Off the Beat. Yes, they are

Jamie listening to Off the Beat. Hello everybody, and welcome to the highlight of my Tuesday every week hanging out with you guys here on Off the Beat. I am your host, Brian Baumgartner. Do I sound excited today? I'm sure that I sound excited because, as you just heard in studio today, I have Jamie Lynn Siegler. She played Meadow soprano on my all time favorite television show, The Sopranos, and I'm lucky enough to call her a friend. And

I just did. I called her a friend. Jamie Lynn, of course, has done so much more than just being in the greatest show of all time. First of all, she has been acting almost her entire life since she was a little it in musicals and then on Broadway. And she was, in fact so entrenched in the musical world that, as you just heard, when she auditioned for The Sopranos, she thought it was a musical, genuinely thought that they were gonna, I don't know, sing about drug

deals and breaking fingers. How does that go? Fuckget about it, forget about it. I don't know anyway we're gonna get into that story and of course lots more. All right, I'm gonna stop dilly dallying. I feel like someone someone's gonna put a hit out on me if I don't start the episode soon. So here we go. Here she is Jamie Lenn Sigler, Bubble and squeak. I love it. Bubble and squeak, Bubble and squeaker cookie every month, left over from the nut Pole. What's happening? Hi, Brian, how

are you? I'm so good. How are you? I'm good? Thank you? Oh my god, it's been so long. I mean, do you remember the last time that I saw you? Was it in New York? I mean, that's a good guess. I went back to New Year's Eve in Miami. But has it been that long that I was trying to reconstruct why we were even there, who I was with. Yeah, I've spent many a New Year in Miami, so maybe that's more of a conundrum for you to figure out. I was definitely a frequent er of Miami for New

Years for a while. Oh my gosh, Well, it's so good to see you. Where are you right now? I am in a Querque, New Mexico working on a show called Big Sky. I'm very We're going to talk about that. I'm very show um, but I have to have to come clean about something. I'm a COVID cliche. What does that mean? I got a dog? Okay, I didn't have a baby. I didn't have another baby, but I got a dog, right, Like that was the thing. To do and my favorite show songs. One my favorite show that

I've never been involved in is The Sopranos. And I got a chocolate lab during COVID three guesses of the chocolate labs name. It's female, Okay, Meadow, Meadow, Meadow, Really, Meadow is my baby chocolate lab named in honor of kind of you, I guess, I mean definitely you. Honestly, there's no you know, you could have named or Carmela, and it could have been maybe Carmela soprano other thing, but I guess Meadow is a name that really it's

only Meadow Soprano. Right, there's no other real there is no and and and in fact, the name, like I guess it, it has like a residence of like Hippienus or something like if you just ignore the fact that Meadow Soprano existed and you were like Meadow, it would be like, well, sort of like rains like ray Wills, like sort of this hippie ish nature. But no, not anymore, not anymore, quite the opposite. No, it's not all right.

We're going to talk about that. But I kind of want to take you back back, like way back to where you started. You grew up in New York. Yes, on Long Island, on Long Island at Jericho, to be specific. As I understand, Yes, So at what point did you decide that you wanted to be an actor or that you wanted to pursue this UM. I was about seven or eight when I realized I really enjoyed musical theater. I wouldn't say that I thought this is what I'm

gonna do with my life. But while some of my friends were getting serious about tennis or you know, other sports or activities, I just loved performing on stage. I loved watching musicals, I loved UM performing in them. So I just was on the community theater circuit on Long Island.

Like anytime there was a show like Sound of Music or Fiddler in the Roof that had any kids, I was auditioning for it, and UM got to become part of a family of this theater that in Bethpage that was called Plaza Playhouse and then turned into Cultural Arts Playhouse later UM a few years down my change management.

But I, from the ages of eight years old till eighteen performed in that theater multiple times a year, like it was my home away from home, and I loved it, and I would say probably when I was around thirteen, I got my first opportunity to do a professional national tour of a music and that's when my parents were like, okay, so if this is something you really want to do, you know, let's talk about it. Do we need to get to an agent, do we need to get you

a manager. You have to understand the commitment. They were very strict in that if my grades dropped at all, I couldn't do this anymore, because they didn't know how long this would last. I was such a kid, and no one in my family was involved in show business by any means, so this was new to everybody. So I made the commitment. I did the tour. My grades didn't dropped. In fact, I even learned my half tora for my bot Mitzvah online by sending cassette tapes back

and forth to my cantor. I was very committed. Okay, but you booked this national tour without an agent. I had like there was like a long island agent that would every once in a while get you an audition in the city for something. I never got it, but you know, it was fun to go. But that was the first time where I was like, oh, okay, you know I'm going to be actually making money. I have to leave town, you know, I have to really commit to this. And then after that I got an actual manager,

an agent, and started auditioning more professionally. Okay, what was that show? It was It's a Wonderful Life the musical. I haven't seen that? Is that a class? Of course you haven't. I think I was the only time. I think it came and wet, But I played young Mary, and then I played his daughter, not the little one, Janey maybe or something like that. It was so I wasn't Zuzu. I was too old for Zuzu. Okay. So

then you started auditioning for theater or for theater? Uh, you know, I would go for shoals here and there. But I remember at the time, you know, this was a different time in the business where they were very much like is she all American? Is she Latina? And I was such a mix of things. You know. My dad is from Brooklyn, He's Jewish, Greek, Romanian. My mom's Cuban and Spanish, and so I couldn't ever fit in

a box. So I just really focused on musical theater because I just didn't think film or television would ever work for me because I never went anywhere for me any of the auditions, I never got any traction. And so then when Sopranos came along, I was sixteen. I feel like you know this story, probably, but all I heard was they were looking for a sixteen year old Italian looking girl for a show called Sopranos. I figured, oh,

I could, I could look Italian. And because of the title, I assumed it was a musical because I had heard the story. I never put that together that it was because Sopranos. Yeah, did you go in? The song prepared? Of well, I had tons of songs prepared all the time, but I my first audition was with Georgian Walkin. It was just the sides, and then they called me back to come the next day to read for David Chase, and I remember at the end of the audition I said to him do you need me to sing? And

he said for what? And they said, never mind because that was a lot. But then he did actually have metal sing in the show. I think he maybe you know or something that well that was for you? Right? Was that was that really you singing? That was you that's amazing. I just went back and watched it again, the whole thing, the whole thing start to finish. So I hear you just went and watched it the first time. Is this true? You didn't watch it when it was out. No,

I think for a lot of reasons. You know, I was a self critical teenage girl, and also we were filming it and it was airing, and I was young, and it just I just didn't do it. And then as I got a little older, I felt like I needed the space. I I just I didn't want to

watch it and not enjoy it. And whether that was the right decision or not, I'm actually glad I did it that way because watching it for the first time in as a thirty nine year old woman and having a more greater understanding of the world and appreciation for acting and the people that I was with, I really was able to enjoy it as an audience member as opposed to somebody that was so close to it. There was enough space, right, Yeah, it's interesting. I do you

watch other things? You do? No? Not a lot. Okay, so I don't either. I've always felt sort of the same way, like I can't change it. Now, what if they chose a take I specifically did not want, like there's nothing I can do, whereas you know in theater, you come from theater. I feel like it's like if if I had the opportunity to watch every performance that I ever did, even shows I did a hundred times, I would watch it right after because the next day you have a chance to go back and do it again,

that's right, and find more and find better. Yeah, so I I don't either, because it's and I don't know. It also sort of feels I don't know, like I get it. Yes, I understand, it's just like it feels weird to sit back and like, let me let me watch what I did you know? Yes, no, totally. I will tell you The Office was different for me. We watched it as a cast when it was first starting.

How could you not, though, I feel like you guys had to just watch it and enjoy each other and like, because I think part of the appeal of Office, I mean, obviously it's like a great comedy and all of you are just at the top of your game and it's so amazing. But what I really enjoyed about it as well was it looked like you guys were having the best time ever. And maybe that's as an actor just knowing like, oh my god, that's just got to be the most fun job. Yes, I mean that that may

be part of it. I mean there were practical things, you know, we were we were so sort of slow off the gate, you know, it took I just did the math recently. It was something like seventeen months where we had shot six episodes. Gosh, so by the time it came out, we were literally on hold waiting to see if we were coming back, and we had nothing

better to do. So, Yeah, we would go to each other's houses every Tuesday or Thursday nights and we would watch it together because it was like, well, we'll probably never get to do this again. I mean, that may have been part of it. And we had so much Like you said, we had so much fun and we really enjoyed the show. But what a difficult thing for you. I mean, as one of the only kids on the show, especially with so many big and experienced personalities. Was that

was that a challenge work wise? You know, at the time I would have said no, But in hindsight, I can look back. I actually just had this conversation with Robert Eiler, who played a j on the show. Where you're kind of blessed at that age, especially when you're a theater kid. You're like used to hanging with adults, You're used to doing things that aren't necessarily kid things, so you kind of just like fake it till you

make it. You say you're good, you've got it. I think I was really bolstered and supported by Jim and Eatye in a lot of our scenes, and they made me feel really safe and comfortable and pushed me when they needed to gently um. But I was a people pleaser. I was like a kid that just wanted to be validated that I was doing a good job. And so that's why I say, in hindsight, I can look back and it was it was probably harder than I even

realized because of I felt a lot of pressure. But I used to marvel at Robert because he never cared. He always he never He wasn't that type of actor kid where he felt like I probably did a good job and he didn't need to hear it, you know. For me, I was I was so afraid all the time, and I felt my first day of work on the pilot, I mean It was really my first time ever on a set. They had the stand ins rehearsing with the camera, and I got scared. I thought, well, what is this

not really yet? Like is this girl maybe doing it too? Like? I was so green. I was so green. I had no idea of anything. But I didn't let on. I didn't say a word. I just kind of kept it in and panicked myself and until I figured, you know, how everything works. So I would say the first year or two was really hard for me, But in that moment,

I wouldn't have said it was right. I mean, in thinking back, having just watched it, I guess a lot of yours, a lot of your work, especially early on, was kind of the quadrant kind of the family, you know. It wasn't at least just around those people. I just can imagine as a sixteen seventeen year old girl those scenes later on with like seventeen twenty seven, you know, older experienced men with huge personalities. That had to be a challenge, you will. Jim was really careful with me.

I think one of the things I loved most about my relationship with Jim is that contrary to how I am now, where I'm very comfortable being vulnerable and open with who I am and what I'm feeling and just with life in general. I wasn't that way then, but he knew, He always knew where I was at without me having to say it, and so he could always kind of support me in that way. And I remember

when we were shooting the college episode. You know, it was my first really big episode, and it was a lot of dialogue and it was a lot of stuff, and he really literally and figuratively held my hand through all of it. I remember our first scene of that episode was when I asked him if he was in

the Mafia. We did an entire day in the car of all the car driving stuff, and he was really proud of me, and he was really encouraging, and no one was in the car because we were on a trailer, so the director, you know, we're talking everybody through a walking and I remember he held my hand literally at the end of one take because they were like, okay, we can move on, and he looked at me, goes, Jamie, is there anything else you feel like you want to do?

And I was like, well, what do you mean. He's like, you can ask for another take. You can ask if you want to try something else, you're and I was, and I didn't know that I was able to do that.

And through that whole episode, he really taught me my worth and how to you know, speak up for myself and how to like how film worked really and the collaborative experience of it all and not you're not just like this puppet that shows up and you're like, oh, I did what you wanted, okay, Like he he really, um, he really taught me a lot, and I took that

with me. I think through you know, the whole season, and like you said, I mean, most of my stuff the first couple of seasons was really with the core family and especially with him, and I owe so much of everything to him and what he you know, he but he wasn't like a preachy guy or he wasn't like taking on the role like I gotta teach you

the ways. He just always did it at the perfect moment right by the way, maybe your work is spectacular, maybe the greatest episode in the history of sopranos as well, So that's that's great to hear. Your relationship with him good throughout always. I mean, we all had our stuff going on personally, I mean it's ten years. You know, we all had a lot of ups and downs and stuff.

But you know, like I said, he just was the guy that like he wasn't overbearing, but like he just he just had a pulse on like when to check in, when to ask. I was diagnosed with MS in the middle of the show, and I didn't tell anyone, and he just like knew something was wrong. I remember it was during the time when I can't remember what season it is, maybe four or five, when Tony's in the coma and you know, he's laying down sleeping basically all day. It was said, and I had done to seed it.

I was like sitting out in the hospital hallway and he came out behind me and he like put his big hand on my shoulder and he's like hey, I'm like yeah, He's like are you okay? And I just started crying because they just I couldn't lie to him. Remember, he just took me over and you know, we had a long talk and he was just he was that guy to everybody. Though everybody on that show could have

had that story with him. You know, like I said, we all had stuff going on, but he really unnecessarily took on the role as like the head of that show and really looked out for everybody. So I gotta tell you a story. Yes please, my favorite show. He I think gave the greatest performance in the history of television and a dramatic role. Just I could not be a bigger fan. And uh, there was a period of time I was playing poker. I played poker quite a bit back in the old days. We're going to Miami.

We're going to Miami, and yeah, exactly for New Year's and I gave it up. Basically this is I get a note from my publicist said, I know you've given up poke. You know there's all these charity poker things and these excuses to go play poker. And she said, James Gandelfini is hosting a charity poker event for the l A Firefighters. And I said, what time do I show up? And I come in to this poker thing and I get my assignment at a table and he's

sitting next to me. We're sitting at the table number one. I don't know how I got the invite to be at table number one or sitting next to him, but there there I am. So the first thing that strikes me because he's so real, was so real, unbelievable to me. He doesn't know how to play poker. He doesn't know how to play Texas holds him. I'm going, you know, my brain is like just swear. My brain is exploding, like you guys never played car. I mean I didn't

say anything out loud. I'm like, oh, yes, here, let me help you, sir. And so we go back and forth, and he's betting really crazy, you know, I mean, it's all fake money. And he gets busted out immediately and

he just sits there and we continue to chat. Anyway, A little bit later, I bust out and I stand up to leave, and he stands up with me, and he you talked about his his giant pol He puts his arm around me, on my shoulder, and we turn around and immediately there's like playing playing playing playing playing playing people taking picture that you know, guys who are hired for the event. And he turns to me and very casually, very much you know, in my mind, like

the show. He says, um, you want to get out of here and get a drink, And I was like, this is your event, but okay, okay, we go next door and we sit there for over two hours while this charity event is happening next door, and we talk about art, and we talk about the sopranos, and we

talked about the office. Now he was there was a possibility when Steve Carrell left that he was going to come on and do the show, and so there was some conversation about that, Like he was really asking me questions of out, you know, myself and what had become my identity and worries about typecasting and what you know. This is like right when the show was ending, like what I want to do now and how I want to define myself? Like basically the most incredible first date

that could have existed for me. And he is about to go on a trip to Europe. We exchange information. His car pulls up and I will never ever forget he's standing there by the car and he turns around. He goes, we're gonna go to Chateau mar Mom, you want to come? And honestly, Jamie, where my brain went was I felt like a young woman on a first date that the date had gone really well and I didn't want to screw up the date, and I didn't want to I didn't want to. I didn't want the date.

I didn't want to say, well, I didn't want to put out or I didn't want to like screw something up or whatever. And you know, he had a young child. I had a young child. And I said, no, no, I'm gonna go home. But you know, i'll see you when you're back from Europe. I looked this morning. I texted him in about a month later. I didn't know how long he was going. I texted him. I still

have it on my phone. You know how nice it was to meet him and when he was back and we can either get the kids together or not and have a drink, and um he died that week. Yeah, it was the greatest thing for me to have that experience and also like the most heartbreaking thing because I thought this was just the beginning. This was just the beginning, and then it just all ended too soon. And I can't imagine how that must have been for you during

that time. Thanks for sharing that story. I loved hearing it. And it's like that conversation you're telling me you guys had, like I know those though, they're so special because he's soap when he talks to you He's so present, you know, and he really he really cared about people, and he was really interested, and he always asked questions. You never felt like he was just doing it for conversation. Somebody that like nothing was ever wasted, Everything was really intentional.

And so what a special moment you got to have with him. Yeah, yeah, his loss. I mean, obviously personally it was completely devastating, but I think I share in just a feeling with so many people, like people that knew him briefly like you, or people that didn't know him at all. He had such an impact on all of us, and we had such admiration for him and his talent and his like humanness. It was just I was pregnant. I was eight and a half months pregnant when he passed, and the last time I saw him,

I was like four or five months pregnant. I got to tell him that I was a baby and all that kind of stuff, and I just he was more proud of me than if I had told him I had gotten like a Spielberg movie like. He was just so happy that I was having a family and that

I was happy. That's all he ever cared about was if you're happy, and Um, him passing was also just like a finality of so many things, you know, of Like the funeral itself was like you would like for a king, you know what I mean, Like there was in a private room for his family and the Sopranos cast, like we were in there with his family before the funeral, you know, to say our private goodbyes, and it's just I guess, you know, shows the relationship like we all

had with him. And it was very surreal because if you think about the show, I mean, each year you'd come in for your wardrobe fitting and you'd have a rack of black clothes because there was guaranteed to be an number of funerals that everyone had to attend within the Sopranos, and so to kind of be there and there we all are, you know, dressed in black, standing together, hugging each other, it was just yeah. I mean, you know, I get to still talk to his son every once

in a while. And Deborah his wife, and she just actually after the commercial air, recently sent Robert and I a picture of their daughter, who was only a little over a year when he passed. Um, she looks so much like him. The Sopranos itself is just like this thing. I'm sure you feel that way with The Office too.

It's like it's never going away. And I love that, like it's it's you know, even conversations like this, it's just warms my heart because I love talking about him and I'll never, never not want to talk about him or that time. And it's really rare to get to be part of something like that that people still care about so much. That is interesting. Idn't really thought to discus stet with you, but yeah, these two shows that we had the opportunity to be involved with, they are

not going away. There's almost no parallels in a way to other shows. There's there's almost no precedent, right, And I don't say that from a place of self importance, but in terms of not only you know, what I consider to be the quality of these two shows, but how groundbreaking they were and how much they change television. You can't do that. You can't you can't do that

very often. Yeah. One of the things I think that people don't talk enough about the Sopranos, and I think really is so important to it and to the form of dramatic television, is how funny the show is Yeah. I think that what that does is it really humanizes people because people are funny, right like in real life, And not that you have to be funny in every show, but I mean in the Sopranos, everybody was funny in a way, and so you you feel that humanity so

much more. I think, wow, yes, that's beautiful. Yes, you're absolutely right. And I did actually have that when I started watching it. I remember saying to some friends of mine, like, I didn't realize how funny the show was. I laughed

a lot, a lot. Yeah, yeah, and not just it like Pauli Walnuts or whatever, but there's a I mean in a way, oh now I'm really going deep trying to make this connection, but like in a way almost office asking away, because a lot of times it is like a look or like a response to a bad joke or a like, but it just gives that, I

don't know, just that humanity. One time I remem it was like the first episode that Michael Imperioli had written, and I was doing this scene where there was like some family barbecue and I came in I needed like a cake pan, and then I have this moment with Steamy's character blah blah blah. And Michael was behind the monitor because he was the writer of that episode. And after we finished a take and they were coming to you know, reset the set, and he came up and

he goes, you're really funny in this scene. And I was like, I am. I wasn't trying to be. He's like, I know, that's why you really funny and missed you and I remember. But there were moments like in Olivia's funeral when Janice is giving that ridiculous speech and we're all standing there and she plays like the Rogers and hammerstony like music and it was hilarious. We always were laughing on that set. We were always having a blast. So um. But you're right, like Christopher, Olivia, like all

the characters were funny, Carmela, everyone was funny. Yes, everyone was funny. And I think that there is something I mean, even just situations right, like a situational comming. Not that it's a sitcom place, but like I mean the episode we were talking about earlier, where the idea that he's taking his daughter on a college tour and then suddenly there is someone that he may have to deal with. I mean, just even that idea is there is something sort of funny, I guess in a way, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Well that's David. I mean David's mind and way of storytelling. He's not afraid to show every side of a character. And I think that that, you know, allowing characters to be heavily flawed and like make them really full and well rounded. And I guess, in turn, then allows them to be all of the sides of themselves. You know totally when you watched it found it funny. Was there

any other impressions that you had? Yeah, you know, I gave myself a little patter in the back, being like, you did a good job, Jamie, Like you know you were you had no I you had no clue what you were doing. Like I didn't go to acting school, Like I literally had no idea what I was doing. So I I had a moment of like appreciating myself, which is rare as an actor or just as a human, and I like allowed, really allowed myself to do that,

and just you know, then I got it. I knew people cared about the show, I knew how big the show was. I mean I got to experience everything that we did, and I hear the way people speak about it, but I got it. I was like, oh, yeah, this was an incredible television show and I'm so lucky. I always felt lucky, but I just really like embodied that. Yeah. Um, when you're filming the end of The Sopranos, did you have a sense of what it meant for you filming

that last scene? Because you didn't, I didn't know you play a hugely frustrating well no, but I mean like a hugely important role in the dramatic build up of that scene. Well, because you're waiting for her to get in there because you think nothing, something's going to happen before she gets in there. Once she gets in there, and then all of that leading up to what's going to happen when she gets there, you never know. Yes, Yes, the moment I'm referring to is yes, Meadow, I'm sure not.

Jamie Meadow has a really difficult time parking the car, and I will say, it's very difficult to park badly. It was hard to He's keep hitting the curb and stuff. You know, it was frustrating by the frustration you you felt Meadow going through was my genuine frustration. But I was there in a completely different day when they were inside shooting there on the same day. Really, yeah, they shot all of that another day, but you came in. No, I just opened the door and you're right there. But

they weren't in there. They weren't in there. M That was actually the very last role, like roll of film was me running there and opening the door through like they had kegs of beer. Like, yeah, that was the very last thing the whole series shot. Well, you heard you heard it here first. I'm disappointed they weren't there. Damn it. That's all right. That was David Chase's fault. When the show ended, you have you haven't seen the show, but you must know and feel what a big deal

that this is for people and yourself. I mean, you spent ten years years with these people on the show. How was that when it ended? Well, I mean I think there was equally levels of like excitement of kind of like what's next and deep sadness because we had just gotten so used to just knowing we were just going to see each other again, and we didn't know what this meant for anybody that was twenty six at

the time. So I think I was also at this time in my life where I wanted to kind of explore and make mistakes and figure out who I was because I was sixteen and on that show, like everything was very safe for me, and I just felt like I needed to be in my twenties a little bit. So right when the show ended, I went on a birthright trip to Israel, and then I moved to Los Angeles, and then I had a hard time in the beginning auditioning.

It wasn't see I think. I think it was like partially me but partially other people not being able to see me as anything but Meadow. Like I was going out for a lot of sitcoms and multicams and I would always get to test at the network and then the feedback would be like, I just can't see her as funny. And so I went through a couple of

years of growing pains of figuring that out. And during that time I was very lucky because Entourage had invited me on to do a guest spot, and then I ended up staying for a season and a half, and it was this kind of cool transition for me to play myself but on the channel and the medium and probably a lot of the same crossover audience of people that knew me as Meadow, so we can still talk about Meadow, but I could kind of let her go a little bit, and it was just really fun job that,

you know, was I'm very grateful, so grateful to Doug Ellen that he gave me that opportunity and kept me on as long as he did, because I think otherwise it would have been even harder. But then I actually took kind of like I worked a little here and there, but I kind of took some time off to a figure out if I still really love acting, because I think when you start as a young kid, sometimes you have those moments of like why am I doing this?

Is this just because I don't want to fail and I want to keep proving that i've I can do this, or do I really want to? And so I had my kids, and then I went into an acting class, a brand new acting class with the brand new teacher. Everyone was like eighteen or nineteen. I was like the old lady in the class. And every week I loved it because I would fail. I would like funk up so bad and I but I was allowed to because

I was on sopranos. I felt like I had this reputation to hold up to, and I couldn't take any chances and I played it safe, but they didn't want to be wrong and I was. I was so protected on that show and now I was like scared. So going into a class for a year really allowed me to fall in love with acting again but also kind of learned how to act as an adult. And so from that that those ten years, it was like a lot of ups and downs until I kind of found my new love for it, like I said, in kind

of new stride again. But that's this business, you know. I remember my manager has always said to me, like everyone gets invited back to the party, like just take just keep focused, keep happy with your family, you know, under like understand what's important in life. Work hard and and it's it's it's hard. My first job was like the biggest show in the world, you know, and like to start off like that, it's a lot of outcomes

are possible. Well, that is an amazing manager number one, Like, oh, he's the best, like for for real, like to give you that and that is that's an amazing lesson that you talked about being afraid to fail because of success that you have and the idea that potentially a person who's had some success us now has to play it safe because of the success that they've had, because they don't want anything to sort of mar that and not be bold. And I see the pressure in that, I

guess is what I'm saying. And that is so amazing that you went back and said I'm gonna take this class with eighteen year olds and fuck them. Um yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I mean it wasn't easy, but it was. I'm like, I can look back and and have a great appreciation for it. And like you said, I have a great manager and I've tried to quit so many times and he's just like, okay, i'll call you in a little And also I think I was testing the waters of you know, you kind of don't even realize

you're doing it. You're like, I'm gonna quit, and you want to see if like you're doing them a favor, and they'll be like, okay, Like I get it. You know, it's really exactly You're great, we love you. I'll call you on your birthday. But I think you know it's in this business. I mean, as much as we don't want to feel like validation is important to us. I mean, you need to know people believe in you, because there's

so many ups and downs and there. It really is important to have just a few people that you know remind you and keep you going. Well. You mentioned before you got diagnosed with MS while you were working on the Sopranos and you didn't tell anyone for fifteen years. Why did that have to do with the business. Yeah, yeah, I had to do with the business. It had to

do with my own acceptance of it. And I should say that everything that we just talked about MS played a very heavy role in that as well, because as years went by, as the disease progressed, as I became more limited, and only until very recently have I been able to label myself as disabled, it was very hard for me to say that or accept that. Um I hit it and I just assumed that no one would

hire me with MS, and I wouldn't blame them. I think I also had to really understand what this disease meant for me and my life, like how it manifested, how it limited me, because to keep up with the lies that I was telling to cover up why I couldn't run, and then why I kind of had a little bit of a limp, you know why I couldn't wear high heels, like I couldn't keep up with with it until I figured out what this disease meant for me. And I've been knock on wood stable for the last

ten years, so I've been able to really understand. I've been able to kind of get a hold on the disease halted. It still limits me in a lot of ways, but it's allowed me to feel more confident and concentrate more on acting as opposed to my physicality and having to cover something up. But I think a lot of it came from two of me just always wanting to be the good girl, not a burden, not a problem.

And I had a lot of guilt and shame about having a mess because I felt like, I'm sorry I'm coming here with this, I'm sorry that this is what I have. And after I had my first son, when he was about two and a half three, he was aware of my limitations. I didn't have to explain I had MS. He just knew mommy can't run things like that. But I really I had to take a hard look at myself and how I was going through life and realizing like, am I gonna ask my kid to lie for me one day? Or am I gonna lie to

my kid about what's happening? This isn't this isn't fair, and so um that's when I decided to become public with it. But only and this isn't anybody else's fault, this is me. Only until this job that I'm on right now on Big Sky, have I really realized it's it's not an issue. And I think it's not because people weren't willing to help me. It's I'm willing to

let people help me now. So on this role I have on Big Sky, I was this four episode arc supposed to come in and out my characters running through the woods. They had a stunt double, but they also built me this rig so from here up it looks like I'm running like they did all these amazing things for me, and then I'm ready to say goodbye, and they were like, we really like what you're doing. We want to keep you on the show. And here I am fifteen episodes later. They know about my body, it

doesn't matter, it's not even written in the role. And it really has been the first opportunity for me to like, I feel like it's okay that I have this. It's okay. It's not a burden, it's not an issue. And I've also realized in my life living with m S, because my kind of stuff is on the outside you can see it, people feel say to share with me things

that they're dealing with. And I don't think I deserve any extra credit for pursuing a career in the entertainment business with m S because what I've come to realize is we all have stuff that we're coming to and we're showing up every day. You just happen to see mine, and it makes me feel less different, but it also makes me feel less alone. And um, it's a really empowering place to be that I never thought I would be.

And it's one of those moments where you kind of like become grateful for your trauma because I know I wouldn't be who I am or have the perspective that I have in my life in general without it. So it's it's a really a really nice place to be.

God bless Jamie. It's so incredible, truly, and your perspective and what the gift that you talk about people giving to you, but Also, what you're giving to other people is vitally important, and I'm not going to over dramatize it, but I just I respect the hell out of you for that, and I cannot, I cannot tell you how happy I am that you have found peace on this show. And it's my next bene watch. By the way, John Carroll Lynch has taken a lot of roles from me

over the years. And yes, and uh back in uh from from Minnesota. But that guy, that guy, Yeah, that's it's my neck. I don't know. I just I missed it. I've missed the show. I started looking at it. Well, there's so many shows. I mean, there's so many. I'm not beating myself up, but no, you can't. You can't. I'm not beating myself up. But but I look, I was like, wait a second, John is on this show. Jamie's coming in. It's gonna be on this show like

murdering mystery and my exact kind of thing. So I'm excited about it. I want to ask you one other thing about you played a mob wife in mob Town later on? Was that fun? Was that funny? That so fun? Did you call Edie and ask her advice? About how to play a mob wife or no, you just watched him.

It's like, you know, it's one of those things. We've seen all of the score Staysy films and you know, and like I lived in the Sopranos, so it's like as soon as they gave me the big hair and like, and it was took place in the sixties, so it's like as soon as they gave me the words of everything, and I can I mean, I have a bit of a New York accent, but I can slip right back into like my real New York accent really easy. So it was so much fun. Oh yeah, you and Robert

Eiler new podcast as well. Pajama pants. Um, yes, I was going to tell you that in honor of you, I was wearing pajama pants today. Good me too. I'm not, are you, but you're not not? Yeah, I'm in sweatpants, all right. Well that's that counts. That counts. How is that? I know you guys had such a great relationship and it must be fun you're working with him again. Oh, it's the best. He's my best friend. He has been since day one. We have, you know, a bond that

is so unique. We had a really special experience. I'm sure you can feel with so many of your cast made a really unique and special experience. And you know, we've been so close throughout all of this time, and we love doing the podcast together and it's so fun. But you know, when we just shot the super Bowl commercial together next, it was another thing where we're like, how freaking cool that we get to experience this together.

You know, it's just another thing where like no one would under like when we were there filming and we have the same David Chase direct did it that you know our DP film Phil Abraham who's now this huge TV director, came back to DP and the same camera operator and we're looking at each other like, this is crazy, this is so cool. Is so without a question, you won the super Bowl? For me? There is not there is not even close. I'm start hearing this music and

I'm like, what did we did? Did we click back over? It? Was? This is what the rewatching is like? How did I? And I start seeing it and I see your face and I'm like, oh my god, this is so genius and that it's Chevy and that this it was the Suburban and now it's the new kid and it's the electric I mean, it's it's it could not be more perfect. Yeah, it was really. When they called to tell us about it, I just remember feeling so happy for the Sopranos fans.

I was like, people, if it's done right, which I had no doubt it would be David directing and everything, I'm like, this is gonna be so cool because I wanted They wanted that. They wanted people's heads to turn, because I didn't realize so many commercials get leaked before. I never paid attention to super Bowl commercials one I guess, and so like I noticed. I was like, oh, all these commercials are leaked already before super Bowl. Like I didn't realize they did that. And ours we signed n

d as, we couldn't tell anyone. Only my husband and my parents knew. And you know, they wanted it to be that surprise where you hear the music, you look like, what am I watching? Is this a new show? Was that meadow? Oh my god, j oh, it's for a car? You know? Did David call you? How did you find out about it? No? My manager, but then he said David's doing it, and yeah, I mean, I mean I didn't need much convincing, but yes, exactly, and then we and that was we found out right before Christmas and

we shot it in mid January in New York. So awesome. Yeah, it was cool, so awesome. Um living in Austin, Texas. You made the move now, congratulations on that. I hear it is spectacular And I have to get there very very soon. Yes, you got to let me know when you come. I will for sure. I thank you so much for talking to me. I appreciate you so much, and after hearing truly, after hearing your stories today, I respect the hell out of you even more than I

did before. That's so nice. Well, I've I've had a great time talking to you. I'm so glad that you still had my number. I know, well because I'm the only person in the world that's had the same number for over twenty years. But this is why, except me, you have the same number two for the song. Yeah, the same number, and you have the same number. Thankfully, And yeah, j Amy, thank you. It's been a pleasure,

my pleasure. Thank you. There she is, Ladies and gentlemen, Jamie Lynn is so great to have you on, so nice to see you and to talk to you. You are truly one of my my favorite humans and actors obviously, so thank you so much for coming on. Listen to her podcast Put Jama Pants, and check her out Big Sky on ABC season two. You will not regret it.

That's all we got today. Remember to like and subscribe on your favorite podcast app, follow us on Instagram at Off the Beat, and uh have an absolutely lovely week. I know after this talk, I sure will. Off the Beat is hosted an executive produced by me Brian Baumgartner alongside our executive producer Langley. Our producers are Diego Tapia, Liz Hayes, Emily Carr, and Hannah Harris. Our talent producer

is Ryan Papa Zachary. Our theme song Bubble and Squeak performed by my great friend Creed Bratton, and the episode was mixed by Seth o'landski