Alright, quick random thought on parenting. I am solving parenting. Here are some things. Let me get honest with you. because I never know who's being honest when they're talking about parenting. Here's how I think about it. I love my kids. And they are a ton of work at the same time. I've talked about this before that parenting for me is this. Very odd combination of sheer delight and sheer agony, both at the same time, very often.
And I think there's certain things about me and my personality that... that don't like parenting, but they're actually specific, I think, to parenting babies and toddlers. So one thing is punching a clock. I've always hated that. That is, I've known that since forever. And freeing myself from clock punching in life was the greatest improvement I could make to my life. I remember working at a pharmacy for years and I loved it.
I loved the work. I got really like good at it and, you know, whatever. It's just all the, it's just a small little job at a pharmacy, but, but I turned it into my, you know, my thing to like really get good at whatever. But I hated the clock. I would, I would, as soon as I got in, I would be looking at the clock and I'd go like, I gotta be here.
Like, no. And then you look like, don't look at the clock. Don't look at the clock. Oh, it's road trips are the same way for me. Airplane, airplane rides. They call it that. Flying is the same. If there's a clock to look at, these experiences are painful for me. This is why road trips are painful for me is because there's a clock and I'm running it down. And I hate that feeling.
Babies reintroduced me to that feeling. I had generally freed my life of that feeling, but babies reintroduced me to it deeply. They give me the feeling of running out the clock at times. The clock being until their nap time, until their bedtime, until their whatever time. It's like, okay, we got them up. We got them fed. You know, it's like when you're busy and it's hectic. even if it's a little bit painful at times.
Okay. There, here are two things that I hate about parenting. I hate the clock punching feeling that like, Oh, I got to entertain these boys for another X amount. And if Hannah, I'm so glad Hannah doesn't listen to this. she'd be like caleb you work till five every day shut up yes it is true Um, but on the weekends, uh, okay, hand, um, right. So if it's just me and the boys, it's like.
got to entertain these guys for another three hours before bedtime. And then you're just running. Okay. Clock punching. I hate that feeling. That is something I dislike about parenting. Good news. That goes away. I think I know it does. I'm already seeing evidence that it does. We'll talk about that in a second. The light at the end of the tunnel. The other thing I hate about parenting. I hate just being distracted. I do not like that, Sam-I-Am.
I, this is the experience. So the other day, this happened like seven multiple days in a row. There were three days where I was three days last week where, where Hannah literally abandoned me. Like, do you believe her? Do you believe that? I work all day at my desk sitting there. tinkering while she's sweating and laboring away with these children and then she abandons me after work for three days And so I got I got the boys and.
I met my parents. They always tease me that I run to my parents when I have the boys. When it's just me with them, of course. Why would I not? My parents love to see them. I'm not dumping them on my parents, but I'm just not being bored. I'm going somewhere where we can like, even just the car ride. It's like.
like like oh we get a nice little car ride oh that's nice oh i like this you know and then and then yeah it's just preventing that feeling of clock running okay so the other thing is distraction so So, like, I don't know. Let me just give you this picture. Last week, Hannah dropped them off at my parents' house, and then I went there to pick them up to then take them home and do bedtime. But I get there and I have to gather all these materials.
sleep sacks bunnies that are in their cribs and pack and plays i have to gather the they only have one monitor so i had to gather the other camera and monitor Their clothes got wet, so now they're in new clothes from Nani. So I have to have the wet clothes, and then I have to remember to take the new Nani clothes off and give them back to Nani.
And I get the cooler bags that their dinner was in. So I have those, make sure I got those, make sure that I leave one of the sleep sacks because, you know, Hannah said, just leave one of the sleep sacks because we're giving it to them so that they have one at their house. It's like, okay. And bring extra number three diapers for Knox or whatever.
So it's just, it's this crazy thing. And I have like four bags hanging off of me to bring them, put them in the van. Well, like, Hey, can you just like, you know, like hold the babies just for another minute while I throw all this stuff in the car. Then I get the babies. I bring them home. You know, they're, they're mad in the car and river wants something and wants me to put something on some music on and Knox is fussy because it's bedtime and he hasn't eaten. Then you get home and I just like.
I have, you know, a nine month old and an almost three year old. and trying to get them inside and to bed. simultaneously is like very difficult and deal with this giant pile of disorganized crap.
and disassembling it all to try to, okay, where's the sleep sack thing? You're upstairs, you got it. It's like, oh, I need this, but I can't just leave Knox here. And what's Knox doing? So, and it's like, Knox is crawling around, you know, trying to put everything in his mouth while I'm trying to read books to River. And, and I'm like, I finally got it so that like Knox was.
was interested in the humidifier, so he was occupied, but he would just knock it over and hurt himself. So I have one foot on the humidifier to keep it steady while I'm rocking in the chair with River reading a book while keeping one eye on Knox. And like, this is sheer torture for me. This is the worst. I sound like such a. Is that the drywall, folks? I sound like such a whatever. But this is absolute torture for me.
And, and it, yeah. And then like river has all these demands and it's like, buddy, no more demands. You can't demand things, but I need my water. It's like, cause he knows that you're putting him to bed. So. everything he can try i need my one i'm hungry that's how he says hungry i'm hungry I need my water. Where's my bunny? Tuck me in. Give me a massage. These are literally all I think. Massage my tummy. All of these things. One more Wonka song. Sing me the Wonka song. Oompa loo. Oompa woompa.
Okay, anyway, and then I got to give Knox his bottle and I got to change him still yet and this whole thing and get him down and then he's crying and make sure there's enough passies in his pack and play that are glow in the dark so that he can see them in the middle of the night. and uh and set up a tent to put over his pack and play because we brought it to nani so what are you doing over there dada i'm setting up a tent buddy hold on oh my gosh
So this experience, it's torture for me. I'm sweating because you're just running up and down and you're hot and you're holding children. And you know, it's, it's just torture for me. Okay. So that is something, oh, I hate that about parenting. That's for sure. I hate the distractions and I hate the clock punching. Those are the two things. Another thing, I hate messes. There's messes everywhere. The whole thing is a big giant mess.
It's the toys that get messy everywhere, but that's not even so bad. The toys in the clutter annoy me, but whatever. I have my own toys in clutter. It's the food. The food. Every time you feed them, there's food everywhere. They get it on their clothes. Literally this morning, River got yogurt all over his shirt. He was all sad about it. I gave him yogurt.
Like I just was like, all right, let's do a big boy thing. You're in the kitchen. I'm emptying the dishwasher. Here's a thing of yogurt and a spoon. See what you can do to this, you know, and he's like kind of pumped. And then he's like really sad because he got yogurt on his shirt. You know, I'm like, buddy, you know, okay, wipe up the yogurt, whatever. There's just, oh, and then yesterday, no.
I'm literally on a call with Aaron Francis and I abruptly go, I got to go because Hannah, Hannah tries to never interrupt me on calls. She's way more like than she even needs to be. And she said, Caleb, I need it. I need help. And I'm like, I got to go. Like, I know that this is not whatever this is. I picture somebody's bleeding. She doesn't do well with blood. So normally when this happens, somebody's bleeding. Like last time it was River beamed his face on.
the thing at the bottom of the stairs and he had like blood gushing out of his mouth it wasn't like that bad but the blood was you know and she was about to pass out she literally had to go lay down and i have river with like blood coming out of his face So this time I go in the bathroom, there's poop everywhere. Nox, I'll save you the details because, well, Aaron, you can just tune out at this point, right? Oh, it was the most disgusting blowout I've ever seen in my life.
It was treacherous. So the high chair that Knox eats his food in is actually currently outside because we still haven't taken care of it. Because we had to like wash everything. Oh, it was brutal. There's a hand. There is a poopy handprint on his high chair. that is laying in the backyard right now that i have to like power wash or something because it's in all the fabric of the straps and everything it is disgusting it is wiped everywhere
Oh my gosh. Okay. So messes. I do not like messes and it's just messes galore. You know, I don't like monotony. Children are monotonous. You have to do things on a routine. You have to read them the same amount of books every night and you have to wake them up at the same time and do the same ritual.
It's all rituals. I do not like rituals, Sam. I am. I do not like routine. I do not like monotony. Okay. These are all things I don't like. So let's do that. This is 10 minutes of the parts of parenting that I do not like. And they exist and they are real. Oh, let me, well, this is, this is maybe one of the bigger ones that let's say with a little baby, when they wake up in the middle of the night, I mean, duh, this is baby one-on-one, but I hate that.
And Hannah takes care of it most of the time. All the time now. When we were in Florida, I stayed in Knox's room because he was sick. And I just ended up kept sleeping in there. And so it was actually good because I was, it was like.
You know, he would have a rough night and I would help him and it would be a tough night for me. But then it would be all of these brownie points. You know, it was this constant flow of brownie points where I'd wake up and she'd be like, how do you do? And I'd be like. oh, he was up for an hour or, you know, he was up for half an hour and I couldn't get back to sleep. So I just got up at 5 a.m. or 4 a.m. and, you know, just things like that.
And it's just all these brownie points. Now we're back to indebted because Hannah gets him up when he cries, which is less and less now. But, you know, you got to go downstairs and make a bottle and bring it back up. And now you're totally awake. And you've got to rock this. You've got to feed the baby, burp the baby, rock the baby, change the baby, and try to get the baby back to sleep.
and it might happen two or three more times. The baby's got a stuffy nose. The baby's gassy. You know, all these things. And you're losing out on sleep and you're just mad. And it's just, it's not fun. Those things are not fun. All of these things are not fun. These are the things that make parenting painful. That is the list of things. But here's the really, really good news and what I'm learning with River. All of these things that I mentioned...
I'm convinced, and I'm curious to hear the folks who can actually tell me from experience, but I'm convinced that most of them go away. They are going away with River. I actually started recording this because I wanted to tell you about this parenting hack that I've discovered recently, which is doing yard work with River in the yard. It's amazing because I get to like get all this like...
like uh satisfaction of of doing a thing i'm working on landscaping beds right now so i just like was digging for hours and hours yesterday And you feel amazing, you know, like you're whooped and it's fun and it's, we're talking with neighbors and. You know, it just, it's just great. And the door is wide open and rivers just running in and out. I've been getting, we went to Lowe's yesterday, me and river, we got him new gardening gloves and a gardening, like a water bucket thing.
that he was so amped about. He's been so excited to get one of these because we took him to the neighborhood garden, the community one, and he was watering the plants with the watering can and loved it. So he keeps asking for a watering. So we get him a watering can. I got him gloves. And this was just Dadaan River. We had an outing. We went out to Lowe's. He's in the cart. It was a blast. He's such a good guy. I love him so much. And, oh, it was just, it was literally the best.
And we're just like hanging out in Lowe's. What do you, buddy, what do you want to look at? Let's look at the tractors. Oh, yeah, let's do it. We can do it. We can do it, da-da. And he's just got one hand in his little like cheese poofs. And we're just walking around looking at gardening stuff. And so he's amped. We got him some seeds. We got him a kneeling thing because he wants to just be like dad. So he's got a shovel now that we got from the dollar store the other day.
And he's got a rake now. So he's got all this stuff. So I dig. And as I dig, I find worms and I say, buddy, wormy. And he comes and picks up the worm. And so he just collects worms and he loves that so much. And he puts them in their little worm beds that he creates. them so whatever this is this incredible parent it's like this is amazing I love this
This is my happy place. I'm doing work in the yard. It's completely unstructured. I'm not punching a clock. I'm spending time with my little man. We're having a ball. This is fantastic. This is great parenting. And even like the night stuff, River never wakes up in the night. We put him down and he's down. And if he gets up because of some noise or something, he puts himself back to sleep, you know?
Babies don't do that. Babies are always like, oh, please don't wake up because if you wake up, then I have to fix it. If River wakes up, he can fix it. He just lays there and then he goes back to sleep. It's amazing. So the sleep thing goes away. The mess thing goes away because kids stop like pooping themselves and rubbing it on themselves. They just do. River doesn't do that. Nox squirms so much when you try to change him. It is infuriating. It is almost impossible to change him sometimes.
Because he does this maneuver where he twists and shoves his leg out. And River, you can tell him, buddy, hold on a minute. And he sort of will listen mostly, but he's a human who understands. And that is a huge boost. That is huge. So of course, like with a toddler, there's moods and there's all these other things, irrationality constantly. And in some ways you get to when you're just with Knox, it's like, oh, this guy's so simple. He's so simple. It's so easy.
Everything's easy. Everything's hard, whatever. But the point is, is what I'm identifying is there are a lot of parts about parent. This is, that's the sheer agony part. The joy is, uh, kissing the baby's cheek, making the baby laugh.
sitting with the baby letting the baby do like I let like Knox crawl on me and like chew on my face and it's gross and I just think it's hilarious and Hannah thinks it's gross and but it's so sweet and I love him so much because he just thinks I'm like a meat stick Um, cause he's, he's basically an animal. And yeah, it, I, whatever, babe that. So there's a lot of that, like enjoyment. But with River, there's a ton more even. There's so many things that we love to do together.
We, you know, we do a ton of stuff together and we run around, we play chase, play whatever, all of the games. We'd play a ton of pretend, go in the fort, make a fort, make a campfire, go camping, go fishing, go on a hike, go to the playground. He loves all that. I love running around. I love playing games. He loves that stuff
But then of course there's all of the agony mixed into it all. But yeah, again, the agony for me is making sure I have all the right diaper bags with all the right amount of diapers and the snacks that everybody needs and the puffs for this and the puffs for that and the pouch for this and the pouch for that. Um, that stuff sucks and I hate it, but it goes away. It's going away. I'm having experiences now where it's going away and I'm going, Oh, this kid's only three and already.
taking care of him is so much more enjoyable because he, he can, he's a little trustworthy, you know, he can like, I was working on one of the beds in the front. He wanted to play in the sandbox in the backyard and I couldn't even see him. And I let him and I would just walk over and look at the sandbox every once in a while and he's still there. He could run to any neighbor. There's no fences. He could run into the road. He could run away. And I wouldn't necessarily know.
He could easily pull a fast one, but he doesn't. He just sits in the sandbox and plays. You know, he has a concept now of barrier. He knows our yard is different than their yard, even though there's nothing separating them. He knows that. And that's not something he knew. Last year, he didn't know that. It was constant river, river, constant.
constant now it's not that way at all and i see how this goes and then you get dumb you think oh this oh that's so easy and you forget and then you have another kid and then you realize that it was hard but it's actually easier The baby things, the stages are easier when there's another kid who's already gone through them for some reason. I don't know why, but it is.
some of these things like that i'm describing like even like river used to put like grass in his mouth and stones in his mouth and we couldn't like let him on the grass because he would put stone you couldn't let him on the grass without being right there to pull like a wad of something out of his mouth that he was going to eat or like he literally has eaten like poisonous berries we've called like poison control um
And Knox is in the same phase. I put him on the grass the other day and he'll just shove something down his throat and then he'll choke him. But yeah, I was digging. I was sitting there. I was like, Anna! I couldn't do it. I needed somebody to pry his mouth open. Had to get some flower that he's tucked in his cheek that he was chewing on. I had no idea what it was. It was just purple. I was like, is this poisonous or not? I don't know.
I had already dug out a bunch of dirt out of his mouth. Oh my gosh. Anyway, whatever. This is just what I'm here to say is.
here's a that is the this is parenting through the lens of of caleb is there's all of these micro moments of of bliss and happiness and then there's there's this layer of agony for me but that layer of agony erodes as, as they get older and, and I am seeing that happen and it's a great feeling and I'm excited for a future where, I mean, I look at friends that have older kids and it's like, they're not experiencing what I'm experiencing, you know?
They, and then it gets extreme. Like even friends that have like seven year old. They can, like, go in another room and play on their own. A five-year-old can do that. Go in another room and play on their own, and you can just leave them. We still can't do that with River. But how amazing would that be? If like literally River could just go up and down the stairs as he pleases and do something. And I'm not worried that he's going to like.
cut his arm off with a saw he finds in my tool bag or something like because he would do that right now he loves tools he would find a power tool and severely hurt himself. Um, anyway, you get it. I don't know.