What's New Pussy Cat?

On this episode of not well Bobby has a farewell letter to she's not doing so well which Jim reads out loud we go over our Google search history what what our deaths on be playing on the soundtrack of our life the metaverse and bottom shaming?

Yeah. With us and baby if you now welcome Jim Bobby in the men's team Yes, this is raw chimney genius Hello buddy making worse. Bob Cheetham wildly waiting no no world is good for the laughs giving not a care when you see him then it might just be some drama a lot of flair. Come out with the team we live. Come on Just smile. She's

not doing so well. This is not a goodbye. But uh, thank you. The story about your name will forever hold a place in my heart. I am thankful for that Gumby in Denver, sitting with Jim drinking Fiji water at a fucking Panera of all places and not being able to control my mouth when I said sort of loudly as someone that was having a rough day. Oh, she's not doing so well. When I wanted to start a podcast with Jim the only name I kept going to was you. So thank you for being such a

this is not being said

with that being said this is goodbye there for canceling out the whole entire first paragraph. This is not by I have learned so much working on you.

That so being very therapeutic for me. Please

the experiences I have had because of you are priceless. I will use what I learned from you and apply it to your new name. I know many people will be sad to see your name go. And I know I have spent way too much money on stickers and shirts and swag. But you will forever be the OG name. We're gonna call you know from this point forward, Bobby signed Bobby and script

psychopath

data goodbye. Goodbye Goodbye.

That is that is almost as good. I'm a visionary. See what I see. It literally this is not a good buy, but rather Thank you

saying hey, I'm just getting by.

And then like halfway and then like at the end of your heartfelt note. You're like I spent way too much money. I can't get her baby.

Thank you for everything you tell me what you're fucking done, right?

This is not goodbye. But uh, thank you with that being said this is goodbye.

So that was my therapy moment yesterday. I had to do it like that to close it out.

Do all your therapeutic moments go like that?

I love that. You have therapeutic moments like that. Do you ever write to yourselves? No, not anymore.

Well, you didn't write to yourself yeah.

I think I name a podcast I don't even like the podcast is still saying it's actually the physical name I was writing to call you not well you are now deemed ignited not well it's like oh my god What the fuck was I was

over our like the name she's not doing so well sitting there reading out like like I'm so glad I'm gone thank

God hopefully this is the last letter I ever get. Like Jesus I had

to do it I had to share it so sorry. I shouldn't ever said anything I should just like kept that private but now that I did you know what?

I full heartedly agree with that. You definitely should never.

But I did because I feel like I think I'm going through it ever since last week. I'm going through it.

But boy we're right back in therapy. So

what do you what are you going through?

I just am feeling Oh, no. I don't know. I just am going through it. I don't know what it is. I think work is starting I'm starting to level off I am and now

you're just I

just said I'm going through it and I love when I'm leveling

up. When I say through it, I mean like changes like things are happening in my head and like

we just had an episode called change change. So what's changing now

when I say going through it I mean change and

you know what here's I'm gonna metamorphosis metamorphosis ice Bobby's like on the cover of Animorphs turning into like, on the cover of something but no, I wouldn't I get somebody else on the cover because I'm Scottie Pippen. When I told my mom that she texted me yesterday and goes, cuz I sent her something that I did. And I was like, here's another example and she goes, What did you do? You should be proud of Scott being Scottie Pippen. And I'm like

Sorry, Pippin. I'm like haha, he can't even remember your own sons. name.

I just really am embracing the fact that I am bright. I know we talked about it. Yeah, but I'm embracing. Like, after I edited and I listened again, I was like, You know what? Why am I so upset at it? Right? Because eventually the bridesmaid does become a bride. You're

not even you won't even fit on the main cover anyway. It's gonna be a full spread

to run after and catch the bouquet in order for that to happen.

Right and I'm not running so. And that's the joke.

Yeah, you're sitting at the table eating four slices of cake. Three. Yeah.

Later when you're drunk. Have another one. Yeah, that's like me and doughnuts at work. I'll have one and then I'm like,

I can you know, in this scenario, you're the bridesmaid, I'm the bride but then I'm gonna get divorced like a week later.

So who is that? I'm the best from that has to be the cry shoulder while I'm getting engaged. But then you're getting engaged. That's exactly what it is. Oh, my God. Putting it together. That's what we do. Yeah. An awkward hilarious.

All the other bridesmaids. In the meantime. Yes.

She's like my husband and I we're gonna go to brunch and we're gonna fuck nine. Man. I'm

never done more than one together. We've never done more than eight. Trying to think if we had well, I

did something free now see, last

couple. Oh, why would you do Oh, no. Did you have sex?

By pictures to someone I loved. And we were both aware of who? Yeah, here on Snapchat. I just a distant friend Snapchat. Yeah, he doesn't live here anymore.

He must be on. Oh, Milwaukee. No,

he actually moved to Atlanta of all places. This is like one of my like, first like, it's not the one situation this is like kind of somebody who I've always talked to since I moved here and I've always been attracted to but there was never a time. Okay. So I had I had my partner take a picture of me getting in. entered. Yeah, and I love that. Thank you.

I love that for you.

You know what I'm so tired of like to just do it get entered. You know what you're right. And you know, on the show I've never really been like very vocal about being entered and like being transparent about my sexual preferences. But I'll tell you that being a badass Oh, I think we've talked about that regularly now but like being a bottom isn't a bad thing and people need to stop like it's hard.

We've talked about thing

I think that in my head like it's a hetero normal like it's like oh, I don't get fucked in the ass. Right You don't want to you automatically like

that like went out the window as soon as you decided that you were my mouth.

Yeah, I'm like I don't want to put my dick anywhere I want to take in me like I feel

like in my mind like one out when I like fully committed into gayness

Yeah,

yeah, actually then yeah, but then I circle back around I was like maybe it no cuz i i topped sometimes it's weird I know. I'm feeling very sexually adventurous and like I really want to start sharing my shit I'm like ready to get close? I want to feel naughty naughty I got a text from me watch out

your goddamn G Gmail accounts re deck now you're gonna find

it by like the exposure factor I like feeling like a nasty little pig now Yeah, cuz like I think I'm really a pig you're our pig

yeah you're killing Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah,

because you just like take it what a pigs do take Dick

Yeah, I just want to like take a deck and then have 10 of them in front of me. Yeah all over me.

I like kinda like

mutton

yeah, like I wouldn't be like the one that's thrown around tell me around just take a turn.

Oh my god then that would be fun but like can your whole handle that?

Probably not but if you do it really quick like the problem

yeah, like a couple if I guess if they got in like in but they didn't like all come in but I'm gonna

do like a cleanse like a colonoscopy cleanse before Do you know I'm saying because I can really relax because I can't relax if I'm just a regular and all I'm always concerned on a show on deck always

always. I mean you haven't though and you're like oh god so

first of all, I'm not even 46 Sakineh honey you're like careers below me. Like oh my

supposed

to do with this energy like when I say what I mean though it's like a lot of boring. Oh

bitch now what are you gonna do with it?

I think that's the only way to be horny is to be for me to exposed and be like nasty about it with it has to be something new. Yes, I'm guessing where if it's not new I don't don't worry about and don't talk to me and don't tell me you want to kiss me that's all No.

I I have told people before I'm like, don't talk just don't talk

when you say you want to do something Damn I don't I don't. It makes me start doing my asshole shut like a steel trap.

Ah Don't you have to like that process is so hard? I know I can't.

So welcome to not Well,

welcome to not

really we're not well, because we're talking about all of Bobby's freak nasty shit. And going reading letters

and

you know the other dick pic that I cleared through you guys. Yes, I sent that to one of our friends, huh? One of our fellow podcast hosts

trena No, no,

no, it is de wa

Henri.

Send it to Duane Reade.

We shipped one read on the show just one reason

called Duane Reade, right? Yes, I know. Him as Duane Reade.

Yes.

No, no, we can't. It's Can we can we just refer to him as Duane Reade?

Oh, okay, like the slide show. I was like, No, it's too long because I feel like if you sent that to one of our fellow friends, Diwan Reed, Duane Reade, Dwayne rain. Then I keep them thing I'm saying Dwayne Wade, Duane Reade Dwayne Wade, don't say no.

No, that's a name. That's a basketball player. Yeah. Dwayne, Dwayne. Oh, no. Is it? Is it

Dwayne Wade,

Dwayne, Dwayne, Dwayne.

It's like Dwayne, Wayne.

Dwayne, I literally was like Dwayne, right. It's a, it's Dewayne. They're both like

Dwayne, it's it's the same thing but I'm just like just Duane Reade is spelt with a you Dwayne Randy Diwan is a separate name. When

did you send said picture? I really want

when I came to New York City, I thought it was called do one read notice? Because I read it that way. Like it's Dwayne, right.

same pronunciation as Gabrielle Union's husband.

It's who is Dwayne who's Dwayne Wade?

I can't that awesome, so trippy.

That name sounds fake. Dwyane Wade, Dwyane Wade like what was happening?

I want to know when you send the picture starting it up

on my way home on Thursday night. And then he gets to the balls photo, but I don't have one. So yeah, well

you have balls in a phone in the ball. I think we can

get that up to take one just pull

down your pain.

How awkward you're gonna take one of your mom's Hi now

this is not the time to retire though to the people I met and we

after we everybody well so

you're in the ball? He goes picks just said

I can see that because you always try weird angles and share our Discord I'm like what the fuck is this and every time I open it I'm like, I just I'm not a fan of that angle.

What angle the below the belly

angle? Yeah, really?

Well I don't understand about that photo is it from below? Yeah, no doubt so it's literally just like a stomach.

I can't read it's like a dick point of view as if you had a camera on your dick that's what your dick sees. Yeah, I

kind of like that idea. But I want you to pretend you are that oh my god what

if we make a new porn that like you put a camera on the person's dick and the new see what the Dixie oh my god this is genius. Genius actually they

have point of view already but Dick point of view not Dick point of view. You can just see inside the colon see a little corn stuck in there. Oh

god.

Oh that you're

entering in you're like ooh, there's like a little light that turns on like a hemorrhoid who

I don't think I want to dig for you actually I don't want to dig a new way to do a colonoscopy plus like if your throat like you're gonna see their vocal I just

can you do II I've had to do that before that's doing the Doctor

Oh you had to do that yeah,

they're my nose they go hard Wow go through why what happened to you have acid reflux was 23 it was like so bad folio swelling class swallowing class Swain Wade I something's not right. Dwayne raid Jake's Thank you

see I'm learning how to scream in this season of not well.

I don't know if I'm doing seasons I thought in this podcast of not I don't know what I'm doing with that. And I love that what we're doing there Yes. Because we need to go one start at one and just have the archives be the seasons

Yes. I don't know. Yes.

Or take away everything and start over i don't know like fuck it. But then I like having a backlog so happens when you archive they can't see it unless you on archive. But it's like safe and saved yet still like on the computer.

Oh, God bless.

I think you thought about the Instagram not the content.

Which Yeah, I

agree.

I agree because the Evergreen that's one of our little selling points that were evergreen. So we can be like we have one episode wherever I'm like, okay, yeah,

let's evergreen.

Did you read the email?

Which one there were like 18.

That's a clear no to eat any of I read them all. But

what is evergreen mean?

It means you have a catalog of products or services that continue to be sought after. And they continue to provide value even after their quote unquote season. And so with like evergreen trees, they continue to flourish and bloom even out of season.

So basically, what he's saying is, is that we're not going to talk about current events and so like,

Christmas is you with Evergreen because it was recorded in 1993. And it continues to or Mariah Carey $500,000 a year,

and now she enrolls people on Tik Tok our podcast is going to be ever Yes. Because if you talk about like current events, like if you talk about just vague like, Oh, you mean if going forward

evergreen now?

Run it. People to listen to season one.

Oh, okay. Good.

And, and Miss has the facts now, because he has the analytics. So

she have I love this. We're going hard. We're

going in this is a

I'm I want Dick point of view. I'm hard. I'm ready to go in.

You look ready? Okay, so there's some things that I have that I thought we could do. That's kind of fun and see if we could sparks of conversation. But this can be off the record like this is just talking to guys.

Now this could just be like, Okay,

well, I'll cut in and out where I'm just telling you guys that are not trying to talk to the audience. Our audience that I thought we could go through our Google History, like the past five searches, and then we each pick, like one from each other like, Okay, let's do that. And then talk about what you were searching on why and like, I think it might be a little fun, like, yeah, or if we just do one a week, like one of us a week. Yeah, let's do it. That's fine. Now I just had to turn on

find that my Google search or there it is

pages?

What do you do?

You go to Google,

Google, go to google.com Yeah, you go.

And then you should be logged into like your Google.

Yeah. Yeah.

google.com And then you go to like,

a settings and then search history. Now if

you actually just click on it'll show you Oh, so if you just click on the Search, it'll drop down like the past few if you have it on. Oh, like minor wicks. Teespring DirecTV big and tall near me sound what time is game one of the World Series? I'm boring. Wow. I have a bunch of like, shut down here John Monopoly game.

I mean, I Googled Gmail.

You had a Google

I don't know I guess and you t I think that's YouTube. So just to pull it up quicker you t maybe this is like also my say you know how to use this. You can just use this bar as

the go to Camp go to google.com I am and you have the same exact situation. Yeah. Now click in here.

I did. That's what's coming. Oh, that's

only two things.

No, in Kensington Brooklyn. Which are books.

What's a witcher book?

There is a there's a series of books in the show called The Witcher and some video games. And then I put Dan Tana

oh that's where

yeah, that's where I'm gonna go so if I can get in

so good. Ms. Did you figure out how to see yours? Yeah,

I have Billy Bob Thornton.

Why why that's he's creepy first one. Disgusting why that's sick. Are you Oh, cuz you wanted to get a ball picture and you were looking at human ball sack sick.

That's it nuts. Ooh, sick.

That is sick. That's like Brooklyn.

And then I have Jay Z. Then I have Metro North New Haven Lyon. Then I have then I have Nutcracker. Eviction moratorium New York

when am I getting evicted?

Who fucking funny you are gonna get evicted. I need to know Billy Bob Thornton. Is that the light that's that's the most recent search. Why should Why would you?

Because I truthful be truthful. Last night I was watching Bad Santa with my mom and dad plays the lead role in Bad Santa. It's about this like Jack Santa like low life nothing going for him every year he like, does this mall Santa gig with this like midget and then they like robbed departments for the night of Chris. Yes,

yes. I

was like loving the movie. I need to. I realized I was like who's this actor because like NGL like,

he's kind of. Yeah, he is like,

yeah, so

that was when he was younger.

He was Billy Bob.

I looked him up and I was like,

Oh, see, I'd rather have him when he's older.

I don't really know his whole story, but like he's hot.

He's a train wreck. I was with Angela he was making out with her dad and

they like have like each other's blood and like neck. Yes.

Yes, it was fucking bizarre. I know. But you were doing like some like Wiccan shit.

Yeah, but he's like, like looking at me. He's like here,

but he's also the guy from I know he's the special needs character in that famous movie.

I want to see if I know what you fucking buzzard.

It's like he's country and Forrest Gump. No, that's Tom Hanks. He fucking it.

What are you talking about? No, I'm

talking about a classic movie and special needs and I think he kills people. What?

Oh? Is there a part where he's like, he's creepy. He's in a boat.

He's like you're some cookie or Yeah. Slingblade Yeah.

Oh, yeah. He's like, Yeah, I know. You mean thank you. I couldn't leave my because my parents would like repeat lines from that movie but yeah never allowed to watch in buzzard.

We couldn't watch Yeah, we I never watched it or not allowed.

I've Carl chowder. Okay, I want to watch us.

It's pretty fucked up.

It's yeah, so Loki obsessively bundoran.

Okay, I like that. I love this for you. That's interesting, though. Like I didn't I guess maybe he's kind of because you are younger. So he was like, he was still hot when me and Jim are coming up on labs.

But like a five year period he fell off you were

correct like after Angel, Angel Angel Lee he kind of like disappeared. I feel

like alumni. So that's a search history. And then what were the other ones?

Kanye West which okay like

Oh, no JC JC Metro North New Haven mine and not crack I want to see the Nutcracker Yeah,

Oh really?

Fucking love The Nutcracker. I do not see you Oh my God. Listen to the Nutcracker like regularly it's such it's such good music. Oh, it's such it's so good so good like

you're going I just can't like you're going from Italy Bob Thornton Killeen and then you're like I love the this peaceful music up in the morning

I just picture like this is not you really but like you in a movie scene where you have like blood on your hands and you're driving down the road. You just murdered somebody but you're listening to the Nutcracker? Yeah, I can totally see that. Like in a totally calming like, you're just like dude.

Wow, Director. Yeah, you're behind the camera that makes

it the same. Yeah, it's the same energy of my tweet that said I always saw myself being murder to baby. I love your way. Oh, I love you. axing me and join me off the Kanga maggots highway in New Hampshire like today I made that song playing I've always seen like that.

That's like sopranos and they sound a song

away and like my carcass things of that year like death song. Yeah. So tone has it say and like my neck is like bleeding like Yeah.

Oh, I'm like in this energy I'm trying to think of what mine would be what are we doing like peaceful deaths or like raw like your moment in the sun? You're about to die but this this song is in a movie? Yeah, like your American Beauty moment it's YOUR LOVE

THIS MOMENT baby love you every day

I need some I mean I just thought in my head but I don't know. Red Red My Heart Will Go On I hear in my head

Are you like drowning? No but

I'm like running or something something opposite of the sound of it. Like I'm like running for your life wanting for my fucking life and it might look a little mocking for some but right I was writing you have

to meet I've been having these great life Jim thinks about his song. I've been having these crazy dreams where I'm like in the streets in New York, which I normally am at like late at night. And like some very normal person coming up to me and like talking to me and chatting with me and being like, oh like hey blah blah. And then that's our conversation ends he like punches me in the face and grabs like my wallet and like since my throat

you've been dreaming as multiple times Yeah, it's like a recurring dream

like this week. They go like hey late like how's it going? Like I'm so cold. Oh my god. Yeah. Now

here's the thing about that dream though is that you would not be giving this person that time. You wouldn't stop someone who's like you like you just keep walking Yeah, probably.

I think I know my song. Where I'm like doing fine I think everything's okay and I'm walking around and then somebody you're

literally 10 seconds to death what song plays

What's up pussycat

Oh whoa what's up pussycat I haven't you know

this song okay I'm gonna play it for you like someone's surprising me and they're just like about kill me and then they kill me Give me never this

no i That's not what

it's sorry it's fucking my god what's new but I want it to be what's

the name of the episode for sure

I will literally be dead Okay, here we go

but it's always in your head rising pussycat that explains

so much that it does actually mean science dawns on my head

Lee in your in your head Lasik eye actually but I think it's pretty funny that the words are wrong that are in my head because I've always had it's what's up let's see cat but it's What's New Pussycat lyrics all

the time. I really do I'm

very good at bony very lyrics where I'm like, it can be like the sun is up and I'm like

Oh, no. Oh,

and I sing it like it's that's the lyrics anyway.

So yeah, so we have our death songs.

Wow, what's new? Fine though now red wine. But that's the first thing that came to my head because

I can't picture like you're getting cut in the neck and just like dark red like Cabernet blood is coming.

And I think that's the first one that came your head because it's very similar to baby I love your way

maybe that's what it is. Like yeah,

they're like they're both like reggae beat Yeah, that's what it

is maybe Oh yeah.

I just don't know what mine would be.

I can help you know the song

out the front door like a ghost into a fog where no one

element of like juxtaposition that I

know Bobby So Bobby's just like

crawling in the dark by Hoobastank

No, I'm thinking lollipop lollipop

you have like the weird like diner theme yeah you need something else

I need like something that's like can't do like hard metal it has to be something right right I don't know so you think

you need

maybe it's like

a Mariah Carey

just about to say

like oh my god I

do on her right here she's right here

miracles oh is that from like your childhood there can be miracle

oh my god these are childhood CDs you came out you keep it a surprise that you were gay to yourself that was all these album on this album if you want and we got you're like oh my god he's got like six albums right?

I got the deluxe tomates patiently

before you were out that you had I bought all these

parents now very concerning though. I have all these are Kelly album. Well, she

pre pre pre pass and that's okay isn't worse

than having Michael Jackson.

Yes, I think it's pretty awesome knowing about

yes definitely. I don't think Dave did anything physically to anyone yet.

Mentally anybody personally, that's just me and that's on God

gave it to me that's what's gonna play at your death just the whole soundboard not actually and then you're just dead at the end of the horse.

I want the horse I'm gonna want that.

No, because you get shot in the back or something fall on these and they all go Yeah. And then we hear that

machine like breaks and it's like

yeah.

Like lightning happens. I love it.

Oh my god. My song he burned down the house and then

the whole house. It's like What's Eating Gilbert Grape? They can't live trout.

Speaking over actor playing a special needs person. Kaprow. Oh, really? Yeah, I haven't seen that everybody who plays a special needs person wins an award except for Leo or gay if he's

gay or Brokeback Mountain all these things if you just gay

or gay or silently handicapped. What's the thing we learned last week, invisible,

invisible disabilities. Fall just trained brain fog is only now but like trouble opening jars

I hate everybody um so remember everything particularly wanted to speak about speak about I have a few things

about that okay. Um, so I don't know because I live in like the hub of the universe like I've never experienced I wonder to know if you guys have experienced something that I've been experiencing now being in my small town boy is everywhere I go, there's like a major supply chain issue. There's like nothing on the shelves there's like whatever you're looking

the university side universe not just like country

experience that

being where you are. We are also in the hub of a universe called around I have the worst state in them union. According to the abortion bans, and gun open gun carry law. We're like the new Texas I swear to God literally trying to outdo each other like Austin has more people now. Oh, fuck, it's bad. Yeah.

I also love the fact that like a state is like advertising. Like I've never even seen that before. So

how does Columbus Academy

states like how the marking is working?

I know we're it's a problem. The weird thing is you're rich

you would be if you lived here, like so read show rich. You could fly home to New York every weekend and be more have more money,

you wouldn't get evicted. And you'd have a lot of fine wine.

So what you're paying now you could have a house like ours. Yeah,

fully. So the thing is, that I've noticed growing up in the suburbs of Dayton, in Centerville trash, the problem is that people don't know better. And so like every Friday night, it's like, let's go out to eat to these chains. To our weights at a chain for a table for five. Up to Yeah, yeah. And you're like, This isn't even good, right? You just want something to eat because

of that. It's the mother Cheesecake Factory. I used to wait there for like three hours and like a suburb of Boston, and I'm like, I'm like walking around the mall and your buzzer goes off and you like finally like my stomach ate itself now I can go out the Cheesecake

Factory not gonna have a 4000 calorie meal.

Yeah, and now less people working so I think I've seen live around like drive through their supply issues.

I'm gonna wait we're having that way we're

like right now I feel like

they're all sitting off the coast of La so when you guys go out there can you guys direct some boats and yeah, we're gonna save Christmas Yes,

we say Christmas he's a bad days say.

You can be bad Santa this year to

Jim. Yeah, do a department store. Yes, you be bald jet which is great. It'd be the ALF beats drunk fans. Like the store we're

here. We're queer. And we're Why do you want

a north pole and then we'll it's like steel.

Gyms. Like I'm a little person and then it's like,

you're like no your image? Well,

you're not you're not little person presenting, but can you be a little person still?

Yeah, you can identify?

Can you identify as a little person if you're not because No, how can you not

it's like Rachel Dolezal it was like I'm black because I identify as black like,

I really identify on like physical attributes if you don't have rugby,

I'm small.

Right? Like I identify as having a six pack with back

belly.

I don't honey, I like my body

I do I'm in love with it and I just want to see that picture of you getting entered. I know it's already deleted fun

why are we honest with you? No, no no when I saw the picture I was like I have a hot ass see like I'm kind of into it now. I want to see it I want to get fogged oh god yes miss to answer your question. There is a supply chain issue. There's you know McDonald's never has a fucking milkshake working or the fucking ice cream working that's how

you know what miraculously has not been impacted by supply chain is your Wendy's meal?

Yeah true ever at one point though there was not let us well that was definitely

no issue for you. Okay,

the lettuce thing though. When I was a kid I would always get the Caesar side salad Yeah, and shake it up. And they Romaine would just go out like they'd be like No, there was an outbreak in California of salmonella or something like Oh, all the lettuce is gone. And we're like you don't let us for two weeks. That's weird. So they've had this problem before. If I'm buying

like a burger and like baked potato like I don't really care if it's a lettuce on it. No. Oh, I did. I'm like not what why you need

it makes me feel healthy. You I'm saying like that's my, that's my vegetable for the day.

I'm a vegetable

actually is a starch so I don't know. It's a vegetable. Is it technically? Not a

root? It's under the ground. A

root. root vegetable. No, it's

a vegetable. Yeah, root vegetables. You have carrot. It's got all these things.

You just said in your phrase a rooted vegetable. I said it's a vegetable. Yeah. Me correct.

So the vegetable is rooted.

Yeah. No one ever said it wasn't rooted.

I mean, are we getting rid of rutabaga? If that's not an

OD, rutabaga, rutabaga, it was Rudy's name our underground Rudy the movie

who's Rudy

vaguer who went to Notre Dame as a little person and he made the team he was not just small he was a

little legal little person

he was legal he was he was

illegally little person. He was illegal. He was close so he's an illegal despite the

name

what considers you to be a little person though?

What is the legal threshold? It's

no I think there has there is genetic determinants? I don't think so. I think like under 410 or something is considered a little person. There's a legal threshold. You know what I don't give a fuck I'm asking a question and I don't care if it's

a difference by state. Yeah, why don't they will

like is Strega Nona gonna be like, ancient grandma

is very short. Sheila became a little person last week when she lost it in she's like, she's four, nine and you're like, is DRAM hollow?

If I think if you if you dip below that

threshold, yes, little person.

A little people of america.org.

Door, baby Give it to me. dwarfism is generally defined as an adult height of four feet 10 inches. But the average adult height among people with dwarfism is four feet. Okay? But this is specifically talking about dwarfism.

Right. But I think if I were under 14, you're legally like considered a little person.

There's a website called Little People of America. And that's what he just said, What is oh my god, there's question on their fact page. What is a midget? Answer? In some circles a midget is a term used for a proportionate dwarf. However, the term has fallen into disfavor and is considered offensive by most people of short stature. The term dates to 18 600 personal privilege, personal privilege. Can we stop using gendered pronouns?

Wait, are you guys a credit for Christmas? No,

so excited.

I think I'm like getting in the holiday spirit.

I want to just cuz you're home

with your family like your parents like oh, she did?

Really? Well, Bobby doesn't have a family. He's like, I'm gonna go visit a sister. Okay, I'm

gonna visit my sister. Kate.

It's yeah, it's capable. It's capable.

So

so I don't know if I have anything to bring up but

you're going to LA now all of a sudden when you batch this so

we record will be in LA.

I love this. I won't be but I also I also show your

recording time. So when I wrote new Excel I met noon Pacific. So invite came through at three.

I like it for me. Okay, great. Um,

I guess we're just gonna miss brunch. Well, we were not about to do a 9am recording. Hell fucking No. So up to like, 10 minimum, minimum,

and we're going outside of the night. I'm out of the night in what's Hollywood?

Oh, fun. It's up true.

Where's it at the comedy? Nuk

Oh, is that the one right by and is now on?

Are you kidding me? That's a comedy store of stone. That's when you can't cuss up. Now that's the Laugh Factory.

I can't with these. Yeah, you can't call up

your first show at the loft.

But Mike, you have to do G material for your first performance.

Hi. Oh, remember beauty in the beast? On the beast?

Like, that's actually a good one for you. Right now. You need a haircut.

I could be like, I'm the beauty. I

know that.

Did you hear that? Or did that? So

knowing right now. A haircut you told me? Oh, you're gonna brag about your haircut. But when I don't get a haircut you're gonna fucking yell at me. Now I need you to get a haircut not brag about it. Here's the thing. Yeah, cuz it's gonna get closer to Thanksgiving so I look good for my family. So I've got to You're right we're back. We have to wait a couple weeks for like a week and a half.

Jesus crowns like don't

cut this week so I can look good for ally

you got when are you gonna get your hair cut?

did last night today queer? Girl this hair is cut girl the tech guy just like my

cause has caught Yes. I can't wait slash I'm so excited. To my existence, and I can't wait

and then like two weeks after that we're gonna go to New York.

I don't know why you're excited though because Oh, here he goes. You hated it though.

Okay?

I hate it like what's Hollywood though right

the thing I the reason I think I'm excited and not I'm not going to hate it you want your partner there wow because I'm staying in the region that I'm going to do everything

in the region you're going with

me?

No that's not why

No, because thing I cross the street for.

Look where I'm really literally able to walk everywhere. I don't have to like get in an Uber for 15 minutes. Hotel 850 Google it, babe.

Oh, I was right there.

It's gonna be really pretty. Yeah.

Is that the one that everybody kept driving up to? And it was like private in the

hallway. Oh, yeah. Oh, maybe

it was a it was three Yeah, I know that it wasn't that there's some restaurant there though. You need to look and get into it. I think a restaurant might actually might be plastic surgery I don't know but like a lot of roll up and pull out okay. It's it's not on Google. You can't find it doesn't say anything and I'm like that's how

I know that's what I'm like I'm trying to find the best spot to stay I will never not stay there and once all right and that's what I don't want to deal with the Hill to go to the end as at the end of the night and go to the fucking I could just walk grocery store Yep. Like I'm that's why I'm excited because it's gonna be able to see like she Angelo checking out and you're like, hey, and because I just went I feel no urgency to go to any like tourist traps. Like

when I'm leaving. Yeah, we Hollywood except right. I have to go to motherfucking condo.

Yeah, I was wondering about that. How far is an hour? Oh, that's not too bad. Okay, nevermind. That's fine. You

guys running a vehicle.

I might. Well, I'm either gonna get my friend Kelsey to drive us. Okay, or love it. I'm

gonna write a Zip Car. Oh, yeah, it's out there. Like way to go through the mountain. Yes. Zip

Car.

It's like, flexible. The other side of

the hills. Yeah, like look, last night. Okay, so we watched a movie. We didn't watch movies. We're watching like stand up comedy. It was really interesting. We're just like, cuddling by the fire. Like,

just fine.

I got fog. Yeah, I

was like, fucking,

we got the hot tub too. But so. So that might be part of this. But so Mike was drinking some like white claws. I had a white collar too. But I was hitting the pan hard. And I got one of the 20 milligrams pills down there and put it in my mouth. So it might have been like 28 I don't know. So

and shove it directly at math.

So we're sitting there and we're in front of the fire. We're both passing out. So this one I'm like, my buddy goes to fight or flight. So I have to get up like so I'm like, I gotta go upstairs and go, you know, whatever. Mike. I'm like, Mike, Mike, let's go upstairs. He would wake up for like, literally two seconds and look at me and go. Oh, no. Okay, that's actually scary, right? So we start to pass out. So I'm like June, let's go outside

but you are passing out.

Oh, I had died that we

were going to die of carbon monoxide last night. It wasn't the marijuana that I popped on. 65,000 times that it was carbon monoxide. Because Mikey couldn't get up the dog. We were like up right? Well, I certainly downsells getting tired. I was like that because I was in a full black. Like, I'll certainly get like, when you're really high, you get heavy and then you're like, Oh, I got to go to bed like Yeah, I bet for you. I had to force myself up.

comfortable sleeping on the couch like

Mike now Mike. Mike Mike even said I go Mike. Do you think that like he said he could possibly get like carbon monoxide

is carbon monoxide detectors not going on? Right? I have four

of them. And I was like they're not. They're not working. Well, how do I know works? How do you know?

Yes, they're literally telling

us anything. That's that's what I won.

Don't even trust reality. It's all an illusion. Oh,

speaking of

like a cleared like, really cleared and

tested. Number one I said about simulation theory and I got stomped on. Yes. You see what Facebook's doing.

What are they doing?

Worse? What's it? Just meta? It's

called Metaverse,

and what does it do?

Literal? simulation theory. You have you an app you an avatar. You an avatar? Yeah. Okay. And you pick the way you look on the VR the virtual reality like this.

Right. So I was like, Are you blowing My mind was set up for the

night. Sims are the sim, in virtually virtual reality.

Okay, but is that simulation theory or something?

So then you have your headphones on and your eye on. Okay, what if you get so you can, you can get so entrapped into that reality?

Take them off, and you're out. I

mean that someone's controlling what we've considered to be our life since like,

well, whatever anyway, I'm just saying I think we're getting closer to simulation theory.

Yeah, but like the problem is that that world is entirely constructed and like, anyone could change it. Yeah, we're well aware of it. simulates. Maga. Like I would like you to change gravity right now, if you could, but you can't. How do I know? I

can't,

I want you to jump off the roof. And let's see, told that who's telling.

I'm trying to go to the fourth dimension. I'm

telling you that the people who have studied it for like 100 years, like yes,

I mean, every experience you've ever had in your life is telling you that gravity is real or not. You're questioning it, but it was telling me I was told that I ever seen it not work.

Well. I don't think we're just told that I think we're like living right now. Oh, my God.

Oh my god. Like, like,

I'm just told I have brown hair. Like, I really couldn't make it blonde. Right? Like, oh, no, guys, this is blonde. It's like, oh,

who told you? Who told you that? Well, how

did you learn? Uh, so am I in the metaverse? No, but we're about to get in it. But we couldn't be in somebody else's Metaverse that we can't, because time is a construct as well. Okay.

Where that all comes from

what I'm saying?

Is like who the fuck cares? Like?

I don't know. Also, yeah, because we can't seem

to happen. We got a date and we got time like fucking Christ. Like why is it such a crime? We can't

get out of it. Why do we even care? Like, stuck in it forever?

Okay, that's scary. Yeah, who's gonna undo time and like dates and calendars? Like nobody? And why would you?

And why would you want to? This is pretty fun.

Right? Like, I'm so high. You just had to pm I'm okay with that. Yeah, like that's fine with me.

It's just not good.

So you want to go back to like, oh, I need to be somewhere at sundown. Or sunrise time as

it is. Well, I guess time is we're all on a rhythm time is real because it's coming in our heart starts it's you're on a rhythm.

Rhythm. You are keeping

keeping time

your heart rate is definitive clock.

Nobody. It's

your own internal they actually use an atomic that's how we measure a second by the rhythm of an atom. Look it up. Okay.

Everything's I'm fucking crazy. No, not prove it. Prove it.

Look, Bobby introduced this topic. He gotta remember when everyone stopped me for simulation theory. Yeah, we were like he was about to like poke some huge hole and

you should know by now that every time I have something I'm like, oh my god, I got it's like the worst thing ever. And it's like not a big deal. To me. It felt like real. For me, it felt real.

I don't know for me when we got to this. Goodbye but with that said

goodbye. Oh my god. I cannot I wrote some more things though. Oh, good. Oh god, he's gonna blow me.

What did you read? What did you Ray

I wanted to know what your first impression of was me of what is your first

impression? impression of what's me?

I want to know everybody's first impression on

me to be honest. Yeah.

I want everyone to be honest. Like legit honest.

I don't remember meeting you at the first tile. So that's just the union. Like no

rememberable No, I

just really don't remember if it was at Union or if it was I remember I met you when Okay, me. Let's I can't remember who wants to go first. I

don't want to like

so. I guess her two different impressions. Number one are you gonna go okay? I was like when I first ever like it came across your profile came across like your show. Right? Like I had never heard of you or your before. And then the first time I heard of it, and who the fuck is this? Like that was I'm like, Who the fuck is this? Like, my situation like, like, it just seemed to me like what's the right word?

funhouse. Very loud. Yeah,

that's how I saw you in this show. Yeah, I did very like loud. That was

it. Just just based on looking at our Instagram or than hearing this as

a boy and maybe it's a word I'd say like very energy very like wow, like, you know, yeah, but then the first time ever like spoke with you, which was like that day like at the very beginning your COVID when I came on your show, yeah, it was like a very like different person. It was very like chill down to earth like, interesting situation.

Interesting. And your first impression on me was you don't remember

now I think I've ever seen you the bar and I was just like He's tall. And then I was like, Oh, yes, baby. Give it to me. All right. Well, probably.

You probably want to talk. Was this curls or no curls? Was your hair gone at that point?

Oh, my hair has been gone since 1995 2012 2011. So I was balding forever. I

loved her. curls back.

No. The curls in the back. I mean, I can't if I get transplant. Oh, I don't want that. Well, you're going to LA so I'm sure there's some kind of clinic you can get hair. I don't want hair though. I'm fucking just as good without hair.

The only other thing Well, I have two things. One One of them was I just wanted to discuss the fact that I love a good comeback story. I wrote down. Do you guys ever like root for the underdog? No, no,

I read I love Mariah Carey. It's 2005 comebacks I'm rooting for this podcast.

Okay, so you do like a good underdog.

underdog? I always loved the housewives who's hated the most?

Okay, so you do like and then yeah, then for her to flourish and be the one that's like the most successful? Yes. Okay. Yeah, I

think yeah, it's more fun that way.

I'm all about those fucking stories. I'm all about like, the like, the World Series just happened. So I was watching the Braves there's a story about a pitcher. That's like, he was like out of the show. He like he didn't want to play anymore. He was done and then he made a huge comeback and then he just won the World Series so Oh, cool. So like the story.

Aaron Rodgers. Oh, he's

a piece of fun.

I hate

fucking hate his comeback stories. He's done. He

looks haggard. You

can't promise he's he's what's the word? Yeah, he does look like shit.

He looks awfully hot too. And normal. It

seems he is haggard. Now he's like Maga and disgusting. So

looking exhausted. And um, well, especially from fatigue where you're suffering. That's yeah, that's Aaron Rodgers.

indivisibility disability. Oh, god. Yeah,

I often look haggard. I look haggard in that fellow with my right now.

Yes.

Oh my god, man. Everyone is that's literally by the way your background that's your photo. Time to Mark Yeah,

we're like Frankenstein

Frankenstein Voldemort.

Did you know Frankenstein is not actually the name of the doctor.

The monster isn't named Frankenstein. Relation theory the book marry because remember, you were like remember when I Kermit the Frog have green skin or yellow? It was yellow. And I'm like now that's

the Berenstein Bears.

You can Laugh all you want you can giggle you can do whatever you want. But I'm telling you you can masturbate simulation theory comes out you can mean simulation but like the

last thing I had was around when they were the bands.

He probably was

before the people in that little room change at the band. Steen bear

when he's a little room and up. I thought and Frank right away. I did. I did. I do.

Where are you and Frank in the previous life? Is that why she keeps coming through?

I don't know. But also Helen Keller comes through but I feel like maybe I'm Bo Are they alive

at the same time, though? Maybe?

I was maybe I died of Helen Keller. No, I died died.

I was diagnosed with Helen Keller. I think Helen Keller actually lived

to like, like, late in life, like legit. She was probably horrifying. She's like, let

me go.

Like they think she could talk but like, I mean, can you imagine like not being able to be taught? Like, words. So you have to learn by touch. But nobody can tell you what you're learning. I can that freaks

me like fuck out. Yeah, they're like, here's a little egg in your hand and she has to like learn and then they like sign it in her hand.

They're like, hey, they made it up egg. Yeah, that's crazy. That's fucking crazy. She probably had like, 50 words. Infotech vocabulary? No, I think it kept I have to pee. Like,

Bobby just did something that Oh, I'd be real. Maybe I'm you are her you just did it. You're like I have to pee.

Right? Oh, no.

Did you see what he does? Yeah, I

think you guys are very similar.

Maybe I'm Helen Keller and Anne Frank green Carnot Yeah. What a peach. I am. I'm a blind Deaf Jewish girl.

You have me you have any words in your vocabulary?

I mean, that's basically me. So that's what he knows me. I was like 50 words away.

Well, just Goodbye.

50 words and nonverbal and then I have an Frank who write a diary. So mix together. It's me Wow. Yeah. Should I save the last one? Are we just gonna just do it? Just do it. Let's do it. Okay, the last thing I want to talk about and we've talked about before, but it really hit me this time because I'm a fat and I'm not a skinny person. And I know you've talked about this a lot more. That is why I'm sorry. I hate fat the slim

skinny double whammy

right literally like disabled double handicap

not only am I a fat person, but I'm also not seeing yeah

I am double handicap just like the letter again. Like this.

So can't write a letter so I'm triple handicap.

Well, and I also go brain dead so that's also or like not brain dead what's called Follow

on life support, so

maybe you were poisoned by carbon monoxide by your brain?

I can't wait to see him in the next life. Oh, you're gonna be you said this before Jim. What? I hate people who are fat and then get skinny and then Bicha fat people. Oh, yeah, fully. Like I know you've said before I'd notice somebody doing it. Like, why the fuck do you think honey I know used to eat a whole fucking Stuffed Crust Pizza. Okay, I know you did point blank period you had sauces you were dipping it in point blank period. Point blank

but you knew these people. So you see him and you're like, No, fuck you. Right?

I want to be like, Yeah, are you really telling me to eat the howling when honey I used to see you shovel. An entire pint of ice? Yes.

I understand that I think we are doing is like sharing their insight. Like they used to do that right down for now. They look a certain way. And they're like, I can show you the way. Yeah, but you don't like that. You are having fat and not skinny.

Clearly. Clearly. I'm happier being a little bit heavier. Well, you just said that you like the way you look. I do. I'm trying to embrace I love that. So it looks so but yeah, I was just think about that I saw on Instagram. I was like, I know we've talked about this. Now I'm a part of that. Here's

what this came from is there is a guy that moved from here in Columbus to Chicago. And he's absolutely ridiculous. He's like, I'm not fat shaming, and yet every post is essentially fat shaming. They'll put side by side photos and be like, Look at this miserable slob and how unhappy he was. I'm so happy

you're like, but you look happier when you're fat. Happy when

you're fat because now

you're not you're like oh god I'm so hungry. I'm hungry. Like fake smiling. gritting your teeth being like I'm fucking starving.

And it's just not horrible. It's horrible. I'm talking about because you've seen the toe you've seen the feet it's that guy feet when

you can be fat. You can be skinny you can be brave. You can be like have one arm those senses

need to go in a shoe like okay,

I My toes are not great either. But like don't throw your

photograph don't like when people are like no and ankles and above ankles.

Are we show are we toe shape? We are.

Shauna,

okay, this is the thing. There's some people that there are people that wear flip flops and it's fine. There are people that wear sandals and that's fine. There are people that should not be wearing those shoes wearing great shoes. So when you wear those shoes that gives you a you look cuter than the flip flops with that janky ass toe that I don't want to see and your feet are sweaty and you're walking through the park. I think one

photo I sent is actually him on a boat. And so this is the perfect time to

shoes. Yeah, like bury that toe in that boat shoe.

Where you're tight Speedo. That's he I mean it wasn't fun.

Time in the red room.

If I'm being honest. I want to say you can fix fat you can fix ugly and that's that's true. And that's really the fact of God on

God.

No cap period.

It was a loud one that's the fan falls.

Maybe every week we'll read a shot of God back I like that of God.

And where we got

they'll come to us we'll know they'll come back and that's a fact of God. The fact of God I'm coming

I've got him fucking it's been so like to come today. I haven't

came. Well I got fucked by didn't come. Oh, well, you know how that goes. Yeah, you don't like? Yeah, I'm

like, okay, like, oh, yeah,

you're gonna get there. Okay. Okay, are

we done that workout? Now?

I'm gonna go ahead and shower. Like

Okay,

love you bye. Sorry miss you don't know what it's like to get fucked in relationships. I know. It's not fun. It's really

it's a chore to do anything if you've ever been on it's like a single in a relationship our relationship everybody's miserable. Everybody's looking for that last little stitch of life and nobody can find out this true true. Okay. Okay, so this is wrapping us up so

there we go. He's okay. Okay, got it done.

No Yeah, it's almost 130 Which is when our cut off is according to the

counter for 90 minutes

these are 90 minute sessions we have six minutes left and I'm gonna milk this fucking time all I can I want

you to milk me we are sisters.

Okay, go do that.

Oh God Okay Mrs like Mike dropping us in Burley we have five minutes

okay we're coming to not well

Russia thank you so much for coming out wow

what a great launch what a great launch actually I think we're not well we're not fine

I need to get the fucking gym is why I'm

Jocelyn has the van started she's like did you have a van growing up just a double side where you both had an entrance sliding door yeah both sides knew it. Social Worker

thing to do leave it with a Nissan Quest yes

that's amazing thing

we used to drive the cars every day

you probably took all the swimmers in that van

oh my god

everyone we live because we live like a half hour from where our pool was like everyone on the way we would like pick items man I don't even know you're you're always cool and swimming if you roll it up with a crew I want to call with walking the pool like what's up I got like my my click

Oh you guys are walking in the speedos with your little slippers on

little slipper sliders by flip flops.

But aren't they sliders are they flippy

no no yeah exactly yeah, they were slider they were not long toe

no like a full foot

Yeah. Which also looks awkward sometimes like are like Nike brand

oh I know depending on

how much Oh Adidas for sure like athletic flip flop athletic not like Yes

daddy. Not like Abercrombie it'd be champion had

to be like oh, now they would but then be inside listen champion then I would have been crucified. Yeah, terrible. Shitty kaymar Yeah,

trash and now

Gen Z's are like I love champion I'm

obsessed with champion I

like champions up okay well enjoy your time at the gym Enjoy your week everyone see you next week and check your text message I want to show miss something See you next week

are you gonna hang up

yeah and baby if you now welcome in Jim Bobby in the midst This is raw a chimney genius Hello buddy making worse Bob chief and widely waiting no no world is good for the laughs given a care when you see him there might just be some drama there lot of flair come wrapped with the team we live. Yeah, baby. Come on. Just smile and be be your eyes.