The not most people podcast is for those who despise mediocrity, reject the status quo and challenge conventional wisdom. Join host Bradley Roth and discover what separates the winners outliers and standouts from most people.
Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of The not most people podcast, this is your host, Bradley. Thanks for tuning in. And before we get into it, as always, I would just ask that if you get value out of this episode, that you share it with one other person, you know, who you think will also get value out of it. Now, it's gonna be a quick episode today, I just want to share one big idea with you guys. We're gonna try to start doing these a little bit more regularly. So keep an eye out
for those. And without further ado, let's jump right into it. So I wanted to talk about something that I've noticed over time, it's not something that came to me right away. But it's this idea. It has to do with relationships. It's an idea. It's a belief. And it's the idea that the perfect quote unquote, perfect relationship is one where both halves get along all the time. Right? It's always sunshine and rainbows. There's never fights. Right? How often
do you hear? And this is particularly more with like younger people like oh, my gosh, they're the perfect couple, they get along all the time, they never fight. And then on the flip side, you might hear about the couple that broke up seemingly out of nowhere. It might be the same couple. And you're shocked. You're like, Oh my gosh, no way. How did that happen? They seem so happy. They always got along. And sometimes the reason they broke up is because they never fought. I know that sounds
counterintuitive. But here's here's why that's the problem. And I'm not saying that you should be fighting with your significant other all the time or, you know, seek out conflict. Because as we know, there's also plenty of couples who major in conflict, but not conflict resolution. And some couples will naturally have more disagreements than others. But most couples who never have disputes or arguments tend to be the ones that bottle things up and leave these things
unresolved. And they bottle the bottle it up because they think they're not supposed to fight with the person they love. Because they think it might hurt their feelings, and they don't want to hurt the person that they're with. Right, which makes sense when you think about it that way. So it's often easier to just keep quiet and avoid conflict. But what happens is certain feelings or frustrations can bottle up over time. And
they usually do. If you tell me that there's a you know, a couple out there that has never had a disagreement or dispute. That's just not true, right? So you bottle it up, there's a bunch of pressure building up. Over time, we're talking again about that perfect couple. And then one of two things eventually happens, either that pressure builds up and pops him and blows a gasket, which can lead to a whole host of
different problems. You know, huge blob fights, infidelity, you name it, you know, all kinds of stuff can happen when, you know, eventually you can't just push it down anymore, and it comes out and can come out a whole bunch of different ways. Right? So there's that. And then, and this is the biggest reason is that some sort of bigger conflict comes up. And because they've never argued before, because I've never really brought up things and had dealt with them face to face.
They don't really know how to handle it and get through it. So because they lack experience in this conflict, conflict resolution, they hit a wall and they either they implode or they kind of run away from it. And that a lot of times when you'll see these couples who seemingly out of nowhere kind of split. And it's it's like riding the bunny Hill, right? So you're skiing, you're riding the bunny Hill for a long time, you're cruising along, nice and easy. No big bumps, no big obstacles.
So you stay there for a while and you just keep riding that bunny Hill because it's it's easy. And it's you know, it's fun, it's not bad. And then bam, all of a sudden, the lift takes you up to a black diamond. And you are just in way over your head. And you basically the only way you get down is by falling and it's not not a fun ride because you haven't prepared for it you haven't built up to it. And because you're not used to it, it's just not going to end
well. So what I'd recommend is don't be afraid of arguments and disagreements. Don't seek them out either. Don't try to create them just for the sake of creating them. Just look at them when they come up as a challenge or an opportunity to overcome and come out better on the other side. I know for me and my fiance Nancy. We've been together just oh Six years now. And easily The biggest difference between where we are now and where we were earlier in our relationship is that ability
to communicate. So for the first four to five years, we would keep a lot of things to ourselves. And they would eventually manifest into this like big release of emotions at some point, or they would come out in some way that was never really very fun to deal with. Let's just, we'll leave it at
that. But over the last year or two, we've gotten way, way better at bringing things up early, communicating them to each other, right, our concerns, things that are bothering us and working through them, right then in there are killing the monster, while it's small. And our communication skills have improved immensely because of it. And honestly, after every single conflict that we work through together, or brought closer, and we also become better prepared to work through
future things that may arise. So most people or most couples are out there avoiding that conflict, or avoiding that communication and bottling things up. Because they're afraid of maybe hurting their partner, be that couple that puts everything out on the table early, and works through it together. Because you'll be a whole lot better off for it. Because you don't want to be in the perfect relationship. You want to be in the one that lasts
and gets stronger over time. And I know you also might be wondering, like, Okay, this all sounds great. How do we get better at resolving those conflicts? What are some tools, tactics, tips, that's outside of the scope of this particular episode. But I would like to dive into that more in the future if you guys want to hear that. But there's tons of resources out there. So just take this idea of bringing things up to each other, resolving those conflicts early, and you'll be well on your way.
So that's it. That's the thought for today. Hopefully, that can kind of, you know, shift some things for you or you find it helpful. So if you know someone who might benefit from listening to this, please share it with them. And also, if you're not on the not most people email list, go ahead and check that out. The link is in the show notes. Because we got a whole lot of awesome stuff coming your way
soon. We got the community we got YouTube website, a whole bunch of big announcements, so you're not gonna want to miss so. Make sure you check that out. That's it for today. Thanks for listening. And always remember, don't be most people