Bozeman: Big Medicine

sights and try to get invited to dinner. I'm Brendan Friends's Newnham the driver, and that's my friend Danielle Henderson the backseat driver. I drive. I have a car this episode or in Bozeman, month town. We're going one mile to Bear Canyon Road. Yeah, we've just left the airport in our suv rental and we're bobbing and weaving our way into town. Bozeman is surrounded by six mountain ranges and is capped by Montana's famous Big Sky. Would you

think you're our more mountain or ocean person? Now? Mountain. I live constantly on a coast, but I just don't take advantage of Although we are, as usual on the lookout for a dinner party, Bozeman's main attraction is the wilderness surrounding it. And to make that wilderness a little less wild you need the right here. Okay, here we go our first stomp Big Boys Toys. I don't know if it's Big Boys as toys or Big Boys and

their toys, but we're here. Boys. We've got a paddle boards, we've got rafts, We've got boats, we've got kayaks, canoes. My name is Rebecca Wood, and I work at Big Boys Toys and Bozeman Monte Cedars snowmobiles coming soon. Despite the dazzling array of leisure craft, we're here for the serious business of camping aka sleeping outside on the ground on purpose. Not my idea of a good time. You see,

I come from a long line of great indoorsmen. But if Danielle and I were going to run with the Big Boys of Montana, we'd need to start from the ground up. So officially the two person you could fit two people, but it's not going to be comfortable. Yeah, we're friends, but the secret our friendship as we live three thousand miles away from each other. And then what's in our cooking set? Utensils? Got a little salt and pepper shaker that I think is very cute. That is

pretty cute. Little coffee pot. Is there an espresso attachment? No, you're campaign. You're campaign by camping. It'll you're lucky. There's the agg coffee. How do we heat of the pot fire fire? You might want to look up a tutorial video of how to start a fire first if you've never done it. We've got one of those little um, oh, that's a fork. It's extendable. Yes, My plan for retirement is to get carpal tunnel from turning my marshmallow? Um?

Why why are first aid kids so prominently displayed? We rent them out. If you guys want to take some look at this guy, we'll take zero degrees sleeping bags. It would be good for you guys to have. I also do recommend bringing warm clothes. You never know what could happen, especially in Montana. Like I said, you could be out there and it could snow. So tell me again, what's fun about this? It pushes your comfort zone more than some net home watching Netflix? Right? Are you from Bozeman? Not?

Originally I've been here for almost fifteen years now, and has it changed a lot in the time that you've lived here. Yes, housing is hard to find. The economy in Bozeman is crazy. There's a lot more people that want to be here than we have room for. I read that Montana has the most bearers of the Lord continguous forty eight states. I believe it. I believe it. You would feel more comfortable. We've got an electric bear fence. Oh my god, look at this, Daniel. This looks violent.

Roll it out, stick those stakes in the ground, and then it is battery powered. How do you pee in the middle of the night with this thing surrounding you? Well? If I pet on this, would it electrocute me? I don't know if I have ever had anybody pe on one. Communing with nature is proving as complicated as I thought. So I turned my attention to a different sort of community. You know, do you ever like entertain my preferred sort

of community, night life type of things? I asked Rebecca if she knows of any dinner parties we can crash this weekend? Um, I'll let you know. Well, on that note, we're gonna run all this gear perfect and if we don't return it. Something really horrible happens. Yep, Well, listen to podcasts and see if I hear anything happening. You could also to sleep in the car. Wait, you're serious. No, we're in Montana right. Look at this cannon bear spray.

This is like riot gear bear spray. I think I'm gonna have to work my way up to the camping part of our little journey. We can work you all, work on you over dinner. All right, let's see how after bidding a dude to Big Boys Toys we reroute to a much tamer starting point for our trip, Bozeman's Main Street. Lafter right up left. I guess I'm sorry. I'm just looking at a spinning horse on top of a building, and I'm upset. Historic district is a blend

of old Western charm and contemporary businesses. Or everywhere we look is red brick and glass storefronts, as well as sporty bowsmanites going about their day. So at risk of being a jerk, I can't really get into the mountain outdoorsy physical apparel aesthetic. Like there's something just so not sexy to me about practical clothing. I mean, like there's some good looking people here, but they're all like wearing like running shorts and shoes with rubber on them and

stuff like that. But it's also practical for a reason here, you know, it's hunting season. Like these ladies are fashionable. That's not my scene. You don't need my arms around you if you have a patagonia that goes down the negative ten. Oh, it's up here. We're arriving at Barley and Vine, one of the town's many modern bistros. We're here to meet Missy O'Malley, the hardest working woman in Bozeman. Betty Butter about some butter. But she said this Butter's

bitter of it. I'm a DJ, I'm a CBS Morning News anchor, I'm a snowboard coach, an auctioneer, a bit or better made of better. Betty Butter bought a bit of better butter. And that's about it. That's about it. It's Missy quickly reads us in on Bozeman. So you've got subarus, Mom's wearing Lulu Lemon. You're wondering if any person in this town actually works, because everybody's at a yoga class all day long. Forerunners, skiing, biking, fishing, hiking, dogs, dogs, dogs,

dogs dogs, lots of drinking breweries on every corner. Coffee shops are on every corner. Outdoorsy, smiling hippies, lots of hippies. White people with dreadlocks, White people with dreadlocks. What's up with that? White people with dreadlocks? But is white people, white people, white people absolutely, Thank God for the university. So we have a little bit of culture. But for the most part, white people in the snow. You know, my name's Thomas. I'll be taking care of you. Has

anyone been other than a miss each other? The rest never? It's our first time. We're gonna do wine. I'm gonna do those delicious little pink bubbles, all right, Yes, yes, thank you, thank you. Bozeman is seen as a very snotty city. People calls bos Angelis, people call us bose Angelis. Montucky surrounding Bozeman is rather read a lot of rural, a lot of farm areas. Seven people a day moved to Bozeman, which, when you think about a town of roughly forty thousand a few years ago, it's it's quite

the number. It's one of those things though at the same time, Bozeman's growth. If it weren't for people that are coming in and restoring these old kind of rundown hotels and make it a cool new restaurant hip again, we wouldn't have kind of this this jibe that we've got going on. I grew up in a small town in upstate New York. One stoplight, yea everywhere. Over my lifetime alone, I've seen it turned into like a suburb

of New York. And it feels bad. But at the same time, at least it didn't get washed off the map, you know what I'm saying. There's so many surrounding towns that have just died out and become like you know, parking lot right. Um. At the same time, I've been actually having a lot of struggles with my constant hustle. I'm still snowboarding. I'm thirty six. I've been teaching for about fourteen years now. For For the dudes, it's like, oh, that's cool if you're a ski bum. For a chick,

it's just not as common. There's like a poetry to maybe a man doing about a woman doing it. It's like, what's wrong with her? Right right? Like get your get your shit together? Or like, what's there's my boyfriend right there, that's rich. Hey, Danielle, he's he's he's an LA boys from LA. I'm sensitive about that. Oh cheers, my friends, cheers, chers cheers. When I when I first um moved here, I was in the Murray Bar and Livingston, Montana, and I said, it's my first summer in the guy, so

how long you've been right? So I'm in here about six months? He said, we have about ten years till you can have an opinion in twenty years before I'll listen to it. And so I'm just past that, which is super nice. The idea of being a man here, like competence when it comes to like fixing things, yeah, a fearlessness when it comes to the wilderness, being able to catch a fish, hitch a boat. The rich can do all that shit. Well, I certainly have a couple

of skills, but I still don't know cowboy boots. I still don't own a cowboy. Is this the end for you guys whoa to be a sensitive man? Is that a perverse kind of thing in this town? Or I'm not sure it's sensitivity or not. It's a fact that

if you if you're in New York and something. If it's a really cold day, there's seventeen thousand businesses to help you facilitate getting through that day, Whereas in Montana, you don't have to cut the wood to put in the fire, scrape the snow off your off your windshields in the morning, start your car a half hour before because it's twenty below zero or whatever it is. I worked in Yelisa National Park in nineteen ninety three, and

I think my journals back then were like there. I remember using the phrase like there are no guardrails, like like you get straight up just die and not just stuck with me. As the wilderness is this scary place. I'm a civilization fan. It kind of checks your ego of the door a little bit, whether it's getting caught in a snowstorm or rain store mud or a mountain,

lion bears charging moose, all this up. I lived in Alaska for four years, and I lived in Anchorage for three, and then I worked and lived on the Aleutian Islands for a year. That did greatly change my concept of self, to be in a place that allowed you to these challenges. That's how I feel about Bozeman You're only going to get something out of it if you put something into it. The love you take is equal to the love you make. Is that true? Is that true? I think he's your

bison um. The last time I went camping, who was probably almost a couple of decades ago, And I do feel like this lingering anxiety about my ability to withstand the wilderness. But it's like nature, like I can see it from here right. No, no, no no. We call Big Sky Country for a reason. Brother, I tell you, my buddy Jesse always says, big medicine. It's a big medicine day when you get to spend the day outside. I'll take that into consideration. Thank you for supporting Danielle's cage.

He say, here's the other thing. You guys are all city slickers. You need to step outside on one put your phone down and just look up at the stars. I mean, like tomorrow we're going to fly fishing and dub we're gonna go to the thesemb of the Rockies and see the times. After offering up a couple more excuses, I eventually changed the subject to one this more interesting to civilization lovers like me, like you guys, ever, host people at your place or anything. I mean, I wake

up at three thirties. So week that's a little tough, but definitely on Friday, let's go to the art Walk the second Friday of every month. People have different art exhibits. Little cocktail stations sit up so you can just stroll and bop through each little shop down town, so your Bozeman locals actually go to it. Well, it's it's back, are you guys down? My middle name is gallery Walk, gallery Walking. Let's the whitest thing you've ever said to me?

Literally blinded ever, I'm in the right place. Then the guest gallery Walk, who we gotta get you out of side Rose. They might have been laughing at me, but I was smiling too for a different reason. I've managed to drag our visit out long enough, and finding a camping area for the night no longer made sense. Instead, Danielle and I sleep in a hotel with walls made of wood and brick, and we're the only growling was from the ice machine in the hallway. We just passed

the Gelton back there. Danielle and I are up early and we're going fly fishing and Madison the Gelton and the Jefferson. Are the three branches. That's grant our guide from trout Fitters. Turns out trout fits include waiters, big baggy rubber pants with footsias you smush into duck boots. It feels as if airbags have gone off in our pants. We barely fit in this truck. Outside is all sky,

distant mountains and the occasional ranch. It's kind of brown like, it's different shades of brown and tan grass and wet fields and that's all. Hey, there's actually more cows in Montana than there is people that are there? The actual cowboys in Montana? Oh yeah, oh yeah, cowboy hat hair was in the deck, gave away. You're a man if you were, I like it. This is where we're gonna fish yep, preferred spot on this river. Oh I got a few. How can I have a feeling that you

have your own personal private spots? There really is any secrets on this forever arrive? Are there chicks out here? Yeah? Come on over here. Line goes right into your finger. Here. Grant gives us a crash course on fly fishing alongside a river as wide as a four lane highway. How much line with our waiters? On, we waddle along the bank in slow motion like topless astronauts holding rods. The whole thing of fly fishing, though, is that you're trying to imitate a fly on the top of the water

to trick a trout. Right, So that's a lift thumb. There we go. Ah. Do you ever play baseball? Branding? Yea, throwing it right to the first basement, right to the chest right? Okay, yeah, hear that woosh the rod? Use it too much muscle, It's hard for me. Got a girlfriend, yeah, okay. So let's say that you want a guy's night out. Do you go to your girlfriends say, honey, I want a guy's night out. I don't care what you say. I'm going out anyway. Or do you guys? Sweet talker

a little bit. I mean, I don't really have a girlfriend, so but I'm going to guess you probably had. But yeah, I've had girlfriends. Go ahead, and if I wanted to go out with the guys, I would have to sweet I would have to sweet talker a little bit. The same thing with these rocks. It's not about muscle, okay, It's more about finess. Feel that good when you see that barber go down. Do you think you're gonna actually

feel that strike? Probably not, like opposed to like ring your old barber fishing, we're just sitting there on the bank with cool or bear and waiting for that barber to go down. A lot of times these fish don't do that. All you see with that indicator is it just moves just barely, and that's your strike. So that's where like the kind of meditative concentration comes in, because you can't just be looking around and you know kind of everything about fly fishing. You have to be an

active participant. You can't just sit back and wait for something to happen. All right, you're ready, Danielle. Yeah, I'm ready. Ran right, Nope, No, I mean my attentions. I'm gonna stick one of you guys right down here. You can't see that rock that's upsurface there. Yeah, do you want to do that one, Danielle. The feeling of the river on the waiters alone makes this really cool. See that, Brandon, what happened eagle? Whoa? That's an immature bald eagle. I

know it's immature. So it's hair. It's well if one thing it had a lot, oh if there's bald eagle right there. Whoa, how you can kind of tell that as you look underneath them, they got a lot of white spots. An immature bald eagle still got a dark head because a receding hairline. Bald eagle. Yeah, kind of like me. Who oh, keep that right a little high? Are they really trouting near us right now? What do you think I'd take it out here if there wasn't

any trout in it. I mean, I don't know. I just figure over greenhorns like it doesn't like are likely to getting one's low well at times doing not exactly the easiest thing in the world to catch. Yeah, it seems that way. That's why it takes time, patience. I'm looking over on Danielle. It just looks like a movie poster. She's just in the middle of the river. Casson on

her own watch my hands slide dropped. When I lived in Alaska, UM I made a concentrated effort to constantly be out and to be hiking and you know, going on glacier walks and you know, being out more even just walking around towns I lived in. It felt more communal because the elements were there and remind us all that we needed help, like, this is not an easy

place to live. Um. I spent the summer is out, you know, kayaking and canoeing and fishing, and so it's nice to be reminded of this, that this is also a part of me. I could also be aged. I'm going to cast that again. You know, I'm learning the difference between a good and bad cast. You could feel it in your arms when it's bad, just like with everything of every other part of my life, dating, writing, you just feel it in your bones when it's not working out. Oh, I got one, I got one on

the line where you go it? That's all right. If you caught a trout, you're not allowed to keep it. So on these trips we really try to emphasize that catching release. Why is that, Well, we all came out and fished every day, there wouldn't be anything left in here. At the same time. Could be honest with you, Brandon, I don't like eating trout. What you don't like trout? No? Why not? I grew up fishing for walleye, all right, and they're much tastier fish. Oh yeah, they called them

the poor man's helmet. Okay, I think I might be natural natural in some way. What do you say? Could you think it's fishing to be going for it? Maybe my erratic nature. They're like, whoa, this might be a bug. We got a bottom, But did I get something? Or was I at that bottom? There's bottom? Oh man, I don't think it enough. People spend enough time and actually I won't even say that, let the back it up.

I don't think I spend enough time realizing how complicit I am in my own unhappiness because I'm not taking advantage of stuff like this. You know, I stay at home a lot and I work, and so I'm complicit in my own stagnation in that way. So what do you think about life in Bozeman? Not the sleepy little cut down it used to be. Yeah, what's happening? More growth and that's good and bad? Right, A's double edged? Short? Can you blame people for when to come here? No,

I get it. I've been around the country. There's nowhere else I want to be. Yeah, I write, so I make metaphors, but I think about like the trout, well, oh there was a strike. Oh man, that was a fish Jesus you know him. You're talking too much when you go away I'm gonna really nail a fish, and then I'm gonna be screwed because you've got the basket. It's called it na. I'm sorry, but I think like the trout I want yep, we were gonna be a

little cookers in there. Alright, alright, alright. What is the fly fisherman's relationship to the trout? I don't know? Like, what do you think about the trout? I got one. I got a fish. If you want to run on, you got that head? Check check it out out we got it. Oh, it's so nice. I caught a fish. I caught fish. Okay, go back in the water. Yes, let me go back home. I'll catch you again. I caught up. I got I think it's unfair and wrong that I didn't catch a fishing gave her a better fly.

Do you have opportunity right there? I think they put in her wheat bed. When Grant drops us back in Bozeman, I asked him about a dinner party, but it's clear he has other fish to fry, so we eat a quick dinner Burger Barn and return to our lodgings. In our living room, Danielle smiles as she knits at first, I think she's gloating about the trout she caught, but

I'm projecting she's just calm and content. The big medicine is working on her, whereas I'm just experiencing the side effects drowsiness, muscle and joint stiffness, disorientation, moodiness, trout envy, fatigue, sleepy foot, drymout, robbiness, panic attacks. It's a new day in Bozeman, and those sounds are not coming from my stomach. In Hot Springs, we're walking through the Sebold Dinosaur Complex at the Museum of the Rockies. Montana is particularly rich

in dinosaur fossils. In fact, Bozeman is where Jack Horner, the inspiration for the paleontologists and Jurassic Park, lived and worked in the Hall of Horns and Teeth. We taken the museum's famous reconstructed t Rex skeleton. Its remains were found near here. Turns out even the tyrant lizard King couldn't make it out of the wilds of Montana alive to new branches from the tree of life, an important adaptation for some early miners. And what made you want

to put an arrow in something? Somehow I don't want to put an arrow in something necessarily. I just think we're driving over to Extreme Performance Archery, where Danielle has signed yourself up for a lesson. Now the way the world is, I'm maybe subconsciously racking up some apocalypse skills. I wouldn't mind going down with the blast like. I'm not strong enough to survive in apocalypse like, so if I go with the initial boom, that'll probably be much

better for me and whoever's in my life. Oh, Extreme Performance Archery, good luck, all right, nice to meet you, shooting you. Yeah, my name is Jim Smith, and we're an Extreme Performance archery and we're going to give this young lady a lesson in archery. The very first thing that we would do was I'd have to check your eye dominance to know if you're going to shoot a right handed or left handed boat. So I'm going to back up some and I want you to go like

with arms length out and look at my hat. So now as I approach, you don't move at your left hand. That means your left eye dominant and it could have been a left hander this whole time. Who do I call about this? You know, being black and growing up in an all white town. I feel like I was forced into a lot of stuff, but the fact that I could have been left handed is the limit. We also want to make sure honey equipment is quiet linked through the air or seemed to have an allergic reaction

to arrows. So they're quite jumpy because you know, especially like white tailed deer and things just just been chasing them for the last million years or so. So I need to keep my knuckle behind there, no anchor. This let her go. Oh goodness, ain't that fun? Nice shot? You're a fast learner, bull's eye, That's hilarious. I can't believe I could have been lefty. These targets here on the wall, to say, three remnants of a different time

um are definitely still here. We still have like archaeological sites and tepee rings, and it's just a sign of different times. It makes me think about my mortality, about Danielle's busy learning about how to silently murder mammals. I'm on a steep hiking trail at Highlight Reservoir, trying to keep up with my guide. My name is Nissoya twenty stands. My English name is Francesca Pine Rodriguez. Why do have their spray. Why do you keep saying that Francesca is

a local activists. For many years it was her job to increase enrollment of Native Americans at Montana State University. I came across her in a photo exhibit I saw online. In the portrait, she stands on a football field or in the colors of her alma mater MSU and the traditional regalia of her tribes, the Crow and Northern Cheyenne.

You know, before colonization, we existed in this land and we have reservations which historically like that's reserved for us, and that land that we got to stay on like got smaller and smaller and smaller as colonization happened. It's interesting, you know, we've been here for a couple of days now and we've been seeing all these like different levels of discussion about change in Bozeman. In this region, people are getting priced out, and yet you're from a people

who were not even priced out. Yeah, I just straight kicked out. Bozeman is known for like a meeting place among tribes before Bozeman was a town, and who wouldn't want to come here? It's beautiful. It certainly is Francesca's bringing me to Grotto Falls. Like everyone in Bozeman, she's convinced an inventure in the woods will do my spirit some good. I grew up in southeastern Montana, on my homeland, and I got to spend a lot of time with

my grandmother, Evelyn Hogan Bearground. Bearground, Yes, a beautiful regal name. Yeah, she was regal. Yes. So she grew up on the reservation in the days where you had to ask permission to leave. Coming here for college, I came in two thousand and six. So even just the change from then has been pretty crazy because when I came here, like I didn't see much people who look like me, and even being that this is indigenous land, so I did feel out of place a lot going off the reservation.

Bozeman is filled with nice people and the occasional asshole. You know, this is kind of our pride and joy. Right here. We have a fifty yard three D range. You can shoot a four and they look plastic, but they're like rubberized. Yeah it's a foam. There's a baboon right there, Yeah, looks like my xby. You know why you need one of them? And so you appreciate the Sega win a lot more. Bless you for thinking I'm ever gonna get married again? Oh those little baby ram

All right, baby Ram, you're done. Good grief. That's another one. What should I get next? Here's a little longer shot. I don't shoot the buffalo and unlocked that arm? Here there you go, dance looks good? Whoa, that's dead sin look at that call everybody you know tell him you don't move to Montana. I'm moving to Montannah. Okay. This dude in this prime archery poster here is he married? And how soon can I help him get divorced? I

got somebody else in mind for you. You like him? Really? Yeah? Tall? Yeah? Like six? How tall is easy? Six? Four? Six? Five? Easy? Easy? Fiji? What is he doing today with? Cal him up? Make sure he's still single? I will help him through it. Three very handsome young man? Are they grownish? Oh? Cool? I'm not changing. Okay, be careful. We are looking at a gorgeous waterfall. The water is just falling on the rocks.

Since not just falling, it's thriving. And then you know, you got this kind of little cave like thing on the side of it that's kind of cool looking. There's one I joking. I love it here, something that in our culture that we do when we come to the water, as you should, bless yourself with the water. Just take a little okay and put it on your head. Wish for anything, or for anything, or just blust results, thankful it exists and that you exist in the same space.

As I drive back to town, it's the golden hour. The view from my windshield looks like a screen saver. Green trees, blue sky, big clouds, big medicine. There's a warm feeling in my chest like I've just woken up fully rested. That was so good. When I pick up d from the archery lesson, she's beaming. We make our way home and after a quick shower of nap, we donned the most impractical clothing in our suitcases, lavender shirt. We might not have a dinner party to go too,

but we have plans. It's time to head to Main Street to do exactly what Brendan gallery Walk Frances Newnham was born to do. We're here, mister Urtwalk himself. Hey, how's it going? Hey broad Jessica, do you know Missy? I do? I see here on TV all the time. Do you know Frantasca. Of course she's a legend. Well, we're really psyched that you guys could join us for our walk. I'm so excited to stroll around fun. Can I ask what you're selling? We're selling t shirts for

the Green Coalition of Gay Laggers. For Jesus, it's an organization I formed back in two thousand and nine in response to the Tea Party. This gallery features a lot of local artists and they do a really good job of native representation. Lights to the bullet shotgun shells. What are you selling my artwork? And what inspired you? Honestly, I did because I need more money to my art supplies. So I'm trying to convince myself that I need the stelling part in painting so bad. Every time we hang

out with you, as we can get progressively more dropped. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's not that we're alcoholics. It's just that everything is so social. Oh my god, there's so many just truly beautiful men here, and it's like the horny Tour of UFA. There's boots, there's hats, there's bullos, cow hide vests. Do you think they have a cowhide turtleneck? Oh? The first time in Yeah, I'm in low and she's gonna move here. I caught a fish I was I was doing an archery lesson. I hit the bulltlight twice.

This is my place. As Bozeman's last artwalk of the season comes to a close, we returned to our rental truck with its payload of untouched camping supplies, the four person tent still neatly folded in its pouch, the first aid kids with unbroken seals. There was still one last thing we had to do. This is so beautiful. I can't believe we hit a full moon. It's gorgeous up here. I do honestly feel like even just a couple of days ago, I would have been a little spooked, but

I'm proud of you were here. It's pitch black. We're by ourselves. Now that I know you can shoot a boone an arrow, I feel safer as do I did not even know that I had that in myself. And if we get lost, you can catch us a fish. I can't navigate with a compass yet, but I can definitely find water and catch us fish. There was a

point when I dropped out of college. I was eighteen and I was a little bit lost, but I wanted to be lost and has had this romantic notion, had read way too much Jack Carouac and lived in a van for a couple of years trying to figure out who I was, and then came out the Yellowstone not far from here, and got a job and was worked in Mammoth Hot Springs, changing beds, and then ultimately became

a waiter. Old Faithful. I'm in this dorm room with like five adult males who were usually fighting fires, but there were no fires that year, and they were a pretty rough crew. One night, we were walking back from a birthday party. One of the roommates, this guy Patrick, revealed he had a crush on me. I was like, I'm sorry, I'm not attracted to you, but I'm flattered, but I didn't you know how to process that. He

was an alcoholic and depressive. Later that night, my roommates came back and he was gone, and they're like, what happened to Patrick? I was like, I don't know, And it turned out he had like ran off and he was suicidal, like he'd always talked about suicide. And it was elk running season, so you couldn't really hike outside Mamoth Hot Springs because the elk were just like horny and running around with their horns, like I would be serving dinner to people in the elk, we would just

be ripping up the earth. But I was so upset, like, we gotta find Patrick. And this older roommate, this guy Kevin, was like, if he's gonna do it, he's gonna do it, Like there's nothing we can do. Woke up the next morning. He was on his bed and his chest was all cut up. He'd razored. He'd cut himself up. I mean, he was just like surface cuts, but it was bloody, you know. And he was like, I'm a coward. I couldn't I couldn't do it. I've never encountered like something

that intense. The stakes of life were much bigger than me just playing Jack Carowac. Those experiences the wilderness just scared me to death, and I decided not vonta really put myself in that place again. Um until tonight. I'm consistently proud of you for pushing boundaries. But we we are on a at a dog park on top of a hill, still firmly in the Bozeman city limits. I mean the closest road is like at least a quarter mile away from here. Nobody, Hey, how are you? Oh

you're so cute? High, Oh my goodness? What's Oh my goodness too? But where's your body? Where's your body? There is um? All right? I feel like we should return this stuff to Big Boys Toys. Maybe in another twenty years I'll come back to Bozeman and actually go camping. I will be full grizzly Adam's wilderness. Then secret, just come visit me? Are you meeting easy? Later? Oh, Jim got to come through that phone number. Never count on another man to hook you up. They always forget the details.

The lead producer on this episode of Not Lost was Crystal du Hay. The show was also produced and written by me Brendan Francis Newnham. Our associate producer was Jackson Musker. Special editorial guidance came from Robert win Talk. The show was sound designed and mixed by Crystal du Haime and matter by Hannas Brown. A big thanks to my friend

and this episode's travel partner, Danielle Henderson. If you haven't checked out her brilliant memoir entitled The Ugly Cry, you should Not Lost as a co production of Pushkin Industries, Topic Studios and iHeartMedia. It was developed at Topic Studios and the show's executive producers are Me Christy Gressman, Maria Zuckerman, Lisa Langang, and Lata Mulot. Production assistants on this episode also came from Jacob Smith, Amy Gaines and Julia Barton.

Our theme song was created by Alexis Georgiopolis aka ARP. You can check out his music at Mexican Summer Records. A big thank you to the people we met this episode. Rebecca Wood at Big Boys Toys, Grant Grigsby at trout Fitters, Jim Smith at Extreme Performance Archery, Francesca Pine Rodriguez, and Missy O'Malley now Missy Cashman her N Rich got hitched Mazeltov.

If you want to see pictures of our travels, please head tonlosshow dot com and what would end at its be without me asking you to head to Apple Podcasts to go rate and review this show, but means so much. If you like shows like this, they need support and it's a great way to show it. Learn more about Topic Studios at Topic studios dot com to find more Pushkin podcast listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or

wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm Brendan Francis, Newnham. Until next time, bon voyage