Content Warning in this episode, and Drakengard by extension, for violence, war, mutilation, death, incest, cannibalism, and pedophilia. In this episode, Raena's here to explain Drakengard and the greater DrakenNieR franchise to us. It's...a lot. But the main thing is that she'd like to see if the first Drakengard game can be made fun to play, even though the slog of the original is kind of the point? If that doesn't work, maybe we can at least make it weirder. Raena cannot be found online. She'...
Mar 10, 2025•53 min•Ep. 242
Do you have any idea how hard it is to reboot something with no TV Tropes page, no AO3 presence, and seemingly no fandom whatsoever? Well, Lindsay's trying her best with the Maisie Dobbs mystery series, which she definitely didn't fully imagine herself. She and Tanner will outline some ways to translate the first three books into a brief British miniseries, complete with hidden gays, cults, and...psychic powers? Ah, here we go again. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be foun...
Feb 24, 2025•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 241
It's time to reboot an edgy, hard-hitting teen mystery/medical drama...that aired on the Canadian equivalent of Nickelodeon? Yeah, Open Heart never had a chance, even with it's solid cast and cool (admittedly half-baked) ARG companion app. Lindsay's gonna help Tanner flesh out the good parts like it's inherent Gothic melodrama, a surprisingly good representation of schizophrenia, and a teen who loves spreadsheets. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our...
Feb 10, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 240
What's the secret of The Secret History? It's that these characters all think they're the main character of a grand sweeping narrative, but in reality they're just rich kids who aren't as clever as they think they are, sucked into the vortex of an egomaniac language professor. But Lindsay's put together a plan for a miniseries that highlights just how unhinged the cast of Dark Academia's great grandpapa have become, and Tanner...thinks these kids just need to touch grass. Our cover art is by Ale...
Jan 27, 2025•58 min•Ep. 239
Am I wrong though? Am I? It's the night before Christmas and we're taking on the classic tale of a special snowflake reindeer who's being barred from society because of certain physical aspects...huh, I wonder what the conservatives would think of this. Still, we can smooth some of the edges off of this - make it more applicable to today, stop Santa and his 8 Standard Reindeer from being culpable in bullying, and why don't we make Yukon Cornelius some kind of wizard while we're at it? Our cover ...
Dec 24, 2024•38 min•Ep. 238
In our newest CHALLENGE EPISODE, Tanner's given Lindsay the task of creating the Cruella sequel we...don't really need, but we might deserve, even if Disnopolis would never let us take this close a look at 80s Cold War Fashion Authoritarianism. We also discuss what makes a punk a punk, the artist and their muse, and the umpteenth gay character. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is available upon re...
Dec 09, 2024•54 min•Ep. 237
You ready for some FOOTBALL? Tanner wasn't, but Ryan and Lindsay are actual jocks so they're here to help them remake their second-favourite sports movie The Replacements. How can we keep the heartwarming idea of second chances and glory for glory's sake, while also making sure this movie doesn't hate Unions the same way that the original does? Listen to find out! Our guest Ryan can be found on BlueSky @HauntedTheVagabond! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew...
Nov 18, 2024•49 min•Ep. 236
It's time for a CHALLENGE EPISODE! It's Tanner's birthday today, and they were given a topic by Lindsay to tackle on their own, and the challenge was 2000's Romeo Must Die! The film that turned Jet Li and the late Aaliyah into stars, a loose retelling of Shakespeare that can be tightened up...by stretching it out into a miniseries. We discuss how the the film resonates even more today, nepo babies funding third spaces, and women. Thank you Ryan for explaining the Oakland Sports situation to us; ...
Nov 04, 2024•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 235
What's one to do with a cursed film made by a nazi occultist? Stick it in your freezer! Or write a book about it, and Silva Morena-Garcia's Silver Nitrate is a super awesome read. But it's a book about film, and Lindsay really wants to make a film about film, so we're doing an adaptation of it! We discuss how to smooth over the few bumps we found, playing with the medium, why Nazi magic is all fake, and which niche Anime Guillermo would reference if he was in the director's chair. It's rad! Our ...
Oct 21, 2024•53 min•Ep. 234
Oh naur! There's a slasher loose in this Australian film and Kylie Minogue is right in their crosshairs! As Tanner and Lindsay combine their creative energies, they'll make some kind of ghost who's terrible at acting and remembering its cues. Also discussed are a head budget, cursed films, and a sharp orange. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is available upon request. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouF...
Oct 07, 2024•49 min•Ep. 233
Years ago, Once Upon a Time reached it's happy ending. But now we need a new show to annually reboot, season by season. A show with a plethora of public domain characters given a bit of a twist. Something spooky, something slimey, something a little bit gayer than the original (but doesn't wanna f***in' COMMIT!). We need something like...PENNY DREADFUL. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is availabl...
Sep 23, 2024•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 232
It has been nearly THREE YEARS since we did a Q and A episode! That's bonkers. We wrote a play, we left, we came back, we left again...but now the podcast has solidified, and what better way to cap things off than discuss our reboot white whales, who we're selling out for, and our breakfast hot takes. Did I mention my mother is here? Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is available upon request. Our ...
Sep 09, 2024•51 min•Ep. 231
With 30 years of complicated backstory and powerful cards, it can be a little daunting to get into Magic the Gathering from any angle these days. Fortunately, Hasbro has just gone belly-up and we bought the entire IP for $20, and Sam has some ideas on how to start everything from scratch. He's going to make the story more approachable and play with tension on a meta-level, Tanner's going to find ways to explore worlds without needing to devote entire sets to them, and Lindsay is gonna look in fr...
Aug 26, 2024•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 230
HAHAHA NIIRYF, WELCOME...TO DIE! Ryan tags in to help Tanner and Lindsay put together the next Marvel vs Capcom game, regarldess of the disc space. It's a long hard road to assemble this roster...so much so that this podcast took two sessions to record and we did end up dumping a chunk of audio. But that's okay, because we only have the good stuff and the weirdos in this game. Plus there's a story! And unlockables! And the most hated girl in Capcom! Get ready for the pod of your lives. Check out...
Aug 12, 2024•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 229
Pirates of the Caribbean is dead. Pirates of the Caribbean will never die. But also, we can do whatever we want with pirates, and the Caribbean, and also lesbians! Disney means nothing! So join Lindsay and her first mate Tanner as they wreck some ships, make some mandatory Bond jokes, do a bit of a Bridgerton, and possibly get banned from Italian Wikipedia. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is avai...
Jul 29, 2024•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 228
Kit Walker returns for this episode on Murder by Death! It was a 70s pastiche of 40s detective cliches, which means our reboot has to update the setting and the satire! Which brilliant minds are bumbling their way through a weird house (or office building?) Which weird author is using this film to get performer and dream-weaver on their wikipedia page? And who can do the best/worst Chicago accent? Will we even solve any of these mysteries?! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can ...
Jul 15, 2024•54 min•Ep. 227
In 1975, 2004, and the not too distant future of today, Rollerball is a blood sport run by corporations to distract the masses. In 1975 it was a well-made film that came in too early to do interesting things with cyberpunk and the idea of celebrity, and in 2002 it was so mindless that the director was arrested. But if we can synthesize the themes, the vibes, the quality, and the pro-wrestling elements of both films we can make something that actually remembers to have some class...themes regardi...
Jul 08, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 226
We've been studying spiders in the amazon with Jake, an we decided the best way to fix Madame Web is...well, the best thing about this episode is that you haven't listened to it yet, so we won't spoil it for you. What we can say is that Jake and Tanner got Stockholmed by this movie and Lindsay was just along for the ride as they talked about old movie prescriptions, Ocean's Spiders, and ol' Petey Boneclaws. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme ...
Jul 01, 2024•2 hr 35 min•Ep. 225
Step off Richard Rich, this is our show now. Swan Lake! A great ballet (if you're not a pleb like Tanner) with a lot of interesting backstory, and allegedly it was turned into an animated musical but that thing didn't have any of the original music so what's even the point? Lindsay's rebooting it into a new film that gives more agency to Odette and Odile, swaps Derek out for Siegfried, and gets weird with a time egg. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. ...
Jun 24, 2024•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 224
Cherry 2000 is the story of a man who's robot girlfriend breaks down, and only a cool action girl can help him get a new exactly the same one. Lindsay thinks this whole script was written on 80s divorced-guy brain, but Tanner thinks there's something in here about forced obsolescence. Also discussed are a vibes-based apocalypse and Korok torture machines. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is availa...
Jun 17, 2024•50 min•Ep. 223
Content Warning in this episode for suicide. There's been a murder! Fortunately it was in the idyllic English countryside, which means we can call on Hercule Poirot and his mustache to solve it! Lindsay's grabbing Kenneth Branagh straight from Venice and handing him her pitch for The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. There's a new framing device too, which means we're about to invent True Crime a few years early - after all, reality shows might be new, but scandal is timeless. Now if only Tanner could fi...
Jun 10, 2024•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 222
This episode is shorter and a little half-baked, but at least it's not deconstructed, and it's not like we added capers to a desert for no reason. Anyway, remember Fighting Foodons? Of course not, which is why we're throwing out basically everything and starting from scratch. We gotta ask questions like "What if Yu-Gi-Oh was The Menu?" "Was there a TCG?" "What if the Flying Spaghetti Monster was there?" Well if you listen you too can be touched by a noodly appendage. Our cover art is by Alex aka...
Jun 03, 2024•46 min•Ep. 221
Oh what poddings and moddings! It's time for another rebooting and scooting as Lindsay takes The Black Cauldron to task. Specifically she's putting all the parts of the Chronicles of Prydain that Katzenberg cut back in and finessing it so that there's a cool and dangerous fantasy film for tweens to watch. That means more fights, more blood, and a sultry dark sorceress that blows the tiddy witches out of the water. Also discussed are a high-tech animatronic pig, the specialist boy who can talk to...
May 28, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 220
Well howdy wanderer, it seems you've stumbled upon a guest episode of the podcast. Theo's come round to tell us about the triumphs and failures of Fallout 3, from Moira and her wasteland survival guide to the multitude of pitfalls surrounding the game's morality system. We're gonna drop most of the plot and focus on the faction politics of this setting, including adding a few more in - like monarchists, or tree huggers! We also discuss the levity of the post-post-apocalypse, which ghouls can get...
May 20, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 219
The apocalypse has been cancelled, uncancelled, recancelled, but it's about time we reboot it. Pacific Rim Uprising isn't as good as the sum of its parts, but Tanner thinks with better worldbuilding they can come together into a worthy sequel. Lindsay's got ideas to beef up the themes of legacy and homages to mecha classics. Also discussed are a kind of feminism, girl robots for girls, and Werner Herzog. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme mus...
May 13, 2024•57 min•Ep. 218
We might all be apples and oranges, but in the end we're all podcasts. Podcast Freshman Ris is here to reboot the My Big Fat Greek Wedding sequels, but they've got so many notes we only had time for one. They discuss the emotional ups and downs and coming from diaspora families, how the entire plot can't happen under the watchful eye of GOArch, and Greece's second most famous homosexual. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Cl...
May 06, 2024•56 min•Ep. 217
Ilya x Solo x Gabby OT3! We can all agree that's the most important part of The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and the only thing in our way is, you know...THAT casting situation. But once we choose a man who is tall or short as our new Russian agent we're off to the races! Lindsay threads together several major elements of the classic TV show, Tanner helps spruce things up with witty remarks and tone markers, and together we figure out why queerbaiting is fun...what a phrase. Our cover art is by Alex aka...
Apr 29, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 216
We're back! Again! And we're treading old water as we take another crack at Star Wars, this time looking at the Sequel Trilogy - specifically Force Awakens because it sets up some decent themes but surely we can make it not such a rehash of A New Hope, right? Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is available upon request. Our email is [email protected] . If you would like to send us a fri...
Apr 22, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 215
Eddie Kingston is coming for the title this week! Bryan has returned to tell Tanner and Lindsay all about wrestling again, but instead of re-writing the past he's changing the future. Eddie Kingston is pursuing the AEW title, but what will he give up to get there? On this dark path we'll encounter Cinderella Stories, the Thunderdome, and a bit of a Skeet Ulrich vibe. Our friendship promo this week is @AnimeClubPod! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Ou...
Aug 07, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 214
You gotta fight! For your right! To Polly! And Mighty Max is here too, even though Jake's the only person who's heard of them. With Tanner and Lindsay's help he'll figure out what these pocket-sized siblings can do, the monsters they'll face, and the lessons they'll learn about each other - and also who's on the soundtrack. We also discuss Lemuria, the Ape King, and Primestar. Our friend ship promo this week is @RollGayRolePlay! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ...
Jul 24, 2023•54 min•Ep. 213
