¶ Royal Laws and Immunity
all right . On the seventh day of christmas , my true love gave to me seven swans . A swimming that was beautiful katie thank you , I'm . I have an album coming out with Tony Bennett . You're going to love it . So , cindy , I do have to issue a bit of a correction .
If you think back to the podcast , where we were talking about Queen Elizabeth your favorite Queen Elizabeth , obviously , as I recall we were talking about Queen . Elizabeth , your favorite .
Queen Elizabeth , obviously , as I recall we were talking about how she reigns over dolphins and swans , correct ?
So while it is true that she does lay claim , or she can lay claim , to all the swans in the United Kingdom , she only exercises that right over the swans on a certain stretch of the Thames River and some tributaries .
Oh , what does she got against the other swans ?
I guess she's like you know what I have so much ? I've got like $6 million worth of Land Rovers . I've got the largest uncut diamond in the world , which is true um . Do I really need all the swans ? Just some of this , all , just some of them . I don't want to get greedy . Who does ?
She's so magnanimous to leave the rest for the rest of us , except for us filthy colonists , but that's another story . So she , she , lays claim to those swans , and would you also know that on a yearly basis , they count how many swans there are ? There's like a yearly swan roundup , and they count , they're caught , they're ringed and then they're set free .
And there's someone who has the official title of the Queen's Swan Warden . That's an official job . That's so elegant , I know . And so this got me thinking about other ridiculous royal laws or laws and rules that are kind of associated with the monarchy .
And , as you had mentioned , she also lays claim to all of the , the dolphins in the waters , and it only extends for actually five kilometers , which is about three miles , um and the , the , the ?
um waters outside the united kingdom so so like porpoises can like swim in , be like I'm part of the realm . I'm not part of the realm . Watch me . Ruled by a queen , not ruled by a queen . Exactly , international waters , exactly .
And it's not just dolphins and porpoises , but it's also sturgeons and whales , and she also lays claim to any of them that are caught in the waters five kilometers out or that wash up on the beach . Those are all legally hers .
You mean the carcasses that wash up ? Yes , Mine .
Yes , those are hers , and this law actually dates from 1324 . That's how long that this has been in place . Not that she , you know , takes advantage of it , but it does exist . Should you know , a beautiful beached minke whale wash up . That's hers . Dibs . Most interesting law , kind of surrounding the crown , is that it is protected by sovereign immunity .
Do you any inkling on what that might mean for the queen ?
That means she can take things , bring them back to her country and be like I'm immune , Like you can't do anything about it .
Kind of so she can . She can literally commit any crime and not be prosecuted .
Oh , we're not talking about just whale carcasses anymore . No , no , no . Oh , I mean in general in all of England . Oh , we're not talking about just whale carcasses anymore . No , no , no , oh , I mean in general In all of England . Oh , any kind of immunity ?
So sovereign immunity , because the sovereign is considered the quote unquote font of justice and from which all laws are created and laws flow . The person who represents that can't . It would look bad if she ever got , you know , convicted of a felony .
Swiping a sweater from Target , but it's not Target .
Primark .
Yes , swiping a sweater from Primark .
Exactly . She can steal all the ugly Christmas sweaters that she wants . She will not be prosecuted . She could murder , literally murder someone , and she could theoretically avoid prosecution . And not only is she exempt from any kind of criminal charges , but also any kind of civil charges , and she cannot be compelled to give evidence in court .
And that's according to a 1911 court ruling . I don't know if you're aware of this scandal , George V , her grandfather , was accused of bigamy and he had to defend himself in court to say no , I'm not a bigamist .
Interesting , and so that's when they came up with the law .
No , that was just like a legal precedence to support the law , to say like you really don't have to give evidence in court , you don't , you know , you can't be civilly sued or criminally prosecuted in any which way . Interesting . So since then , I mean as far as we know , the queen hasn't committed any crimes . But would you ?
I can't imagine that going to all of these grocery store openings , openings , or like visiting schools she hasn't been tempted to just like steal a granola bar , make her feel , still feel alive . I'm the queen , I can take this , this is mine , and her sovereign immunity also extends to the portions of the Commonwealth .
So she can literally go to Australia , strangle a koala and she will not be prosecuted .
Now wait a minute . But she can only do that within her own realm , so to speak . Yes , does she have any immunity if she were to come to , let's say , america and strangle a koala bear at a zoo here ?
She would technically have diplomatic immunity . But again , from what I've read , it's not a good look and the British government would have to do something about it .
It would probably , depending on the seriousness of the crime , they may withdraw that immunity , but I feel like it'd have to be something pretty darn serious for Queen Elizabeth to be abandoned by the government of the United Kingdom .
¶ Sovereign Power and Corgis
I think that's also also the part of being Queen Elizabeth is that she can walk around in her matching hat and dress and shoes and be like you all realize I could murder you all right now , but I choose not to . I think her power comes from not exercising the power you know what I'm saying .
Yes , it's like Lord of the Rings and Frodo he has the one ring . He could use it , but he chooses not to . So the queen is literally the embodiment of that she has all the power , but she chooses not to . She's the greatest hero of our generation .
Which begs the question though who is her Samwise Gamgee Katie , her corgi , her corgi , her corgi , her corgi ? I think she only has one left .
No , I think she got another one , but it's like a mix . It's a mix Like a mutt yeah , I think so . They're like the Tom Bombadils , like they hang around for a little bit but then , after like five pages of them just singing , you're like .
Tom Bombadil . He's a character in Lord of the Rings . He's a character in Lord of the Rings . Which Lord of the Rings movie did you see ? You're one of those who read the books , didn't you ? Katie ? The book , who actually reads the books , katie ?
you say that with such judgment in your voice , I feel like our friendship is over , cindy .
No , no , that's wonderful .
I'm very happy for you .
I feel judged and attacked right now , and all your extra time and your ability to translate .
And all your extra time that you have on your hands to read that stupid book . Well , that's fascinating , and so that is the story of Queen Elizabeth's sovereign immunity and her iron grip on the population of swans throughout the UK .
Her white gloved grip .
Yes , velvet glove over steel fist . She's not going to give those swans up . I'll give you most of them , but not the ones on the Thames and related tributaries .
It's good to be the queen , thank you .