This episode of NADDPod is brought to you by Tales Unrolled. Tales Unrolled is a new Dungeons & Dragons series out now, co-created by Luis Carrazo and Christian Navarro. Tales Unrolled, Alma, the show's first campaign, takes place in a small, tropical town called Alma that's suddenly plagued by a mysterious curse.
Four of the villagers must come together despite their differences to save their town and the people they love, or else risk falling victim to the curse. Goddamn, that sounds like good D&D. Tales Unrolled is a dark fantasy mystery that explores themes like ancestry, sacrifice, lineage, and legacy. There's also a healthy dose of romance. And you might actually know the DM, Luis Carrazo, from his role as Xerxes on Critical Role's Exandria Unlimited Calamity.
He is hopping behind the screen to weave a magical, novelistic story heavy with emotion. So if you're ready to delve into the world of Alma, then head to their YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Tuesday on the Tales Unrolled channel. or as a podcast with extra sound design on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you listen. Again, new episodes of Tales Unrolled Alma drop weekly on Tuesdays, so roll on down to Alma and check out this great new show. Alright, that's it from us.
Thanks for listening. Bye-bye. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to Skaldova. We found it. I kind of went a different direction, but we found it. Okay? Sorry. We booked out a church and rehearsed, man. Where were you? I was doing a different thing. We went for a dark soul. thing that ended up kind of being, I was on the one side, you guys were on the other. It's fine. Let's move on. Let's move on. Take care of the DM. Now, this is collaborative.
storytelling already. I'm your DM, Jake Hurwitz, joined by Brian Murphy. I'm not telling you shit about my character except I kind of sound like this. You'll find out more about him when you meet him. Yeah, Emily Axford. My extra's not here, but someone else is.
Can't wait to meet her. And of course, Caldwell Tanner. Mysteries abound, Jones. I quit. A little housekeeping as we jump into characters and everything. We're going to try out a little something new with the schedule. I think we're going to try... two on one off for the actual plays so instead of doing bi-weekly we'll do two and then we'll have a catch-up week where we put out
dnd court or something like that so expect to see these uh skaldova episodes with two actual plays uh with short rests on the patreon and then one bonus content thing the off week every third week Going back to Jake. Let me welcome you again to Skull Dove. knock it off a world a world once full of magic and wonder tieflings and trolls almighty gods and even a few heroes but It's a harsh, wind-beaten continent.
its enchanted past life is bleak here unless you're born into the right circumstances there's no for glory, just struggling for gold. We begin our story... this village is lost to time by the nobles from across the Call this place Mud.
no one ends up in mudtown on purpose everyone here is either looking for something or running from something and half the time it's both it's late evening and early spring the kind of night where the cold clings stubbornly to the air like a jealous lover not willing A razor-thin crescent moon hangs low over the harbor, drawing what little light it can on weather-beaten ships as The docks are a tangle of slick splintered wood and creaky old skiffs knock restlessly against them.
Up a crooked cobblestone hill, we find a candlelit tavern with no sign but a name everyone knows anyway. This is Leviathan Inn. Inside Leviathan Inn, warped timbers hang low overhead, and a broad stone hearth glows against the far wall. The giant jawbone of some ancient sea beast hangs above the mantle. And behind a long bar, Rorik Farflon, a middle-aged dwarf with a bald pate and thick hands, pours patrons one of four drinks. dark, smoky, or sweet
There's a small crowd in the bar. We've got a hulking man and a fisherwoman talking past one another, a very drunk group of sailors singing obscene songs in a small booth. and an elven ship captain sitting in fine but faded garments, muttering to himself as he gazes out a blown glass window. And of course, we have three other patrons. Would you guys like to introduce your characters? Who are you and what are you doing? Oh shit, should we...
We got it. Jake, by the way, I'm there. I am so there. That was beautiful. I'm imagining this so dimly lit. It's so dim. I'm squinting. I'm squinting, brother. All right, I got a 12. My first roll was a 10, which is... you know, extremely mediocre. I got a 10 too. Oh, okay. What's your dex? Oh, my dex is, my initiative is plus five. Okay, so you're faster. Dex is plus three. What'd you get him? I got four. Perfect. All right, call lawyer up. So...
You see, sitting at the bar, kind of talking the ear off of the bartender is Boggy Roger. Boggy is a lumbering, mossy mound of a man. He wears a drab green cloak. tall waxen boots and a brown floppy hat that covers every part of his face save for his bushy black beard and piercing blue eyes. Boggy hails from the mosslands near Goodport, where, until recently,
He and a crew of kind-hearted outlaws known as Boggy's Buds ambushed and robbed the nobles and merchants traveling through the swamp they call home. They used the funds for feasts, merriment, and the distilling of fine peach-smoked spirits. Everything was going great until they caught the ire of a local fish baron who had Boggy's crew hunted down and summarily executed. Thank you.
Ever since that day, Boggy has sworn to seek vengeance against the Baron. But for now, he finds himself biding his time while refilling his coffers and seeking out a new crew to aid in his quest. So I think we see Boggy sitting at the bar and he's like, Just deeply discussing the distilling process for Pete smoked whiskey Oh, this is good what you really need to do and he actually puts a big brick of Pete Moss like on the table
Take some of this, my gift, my treat. And what you're going to want to do is just burn that sucker until it's charcoal black. And you're going to want to just roast the barley in that until it's got like a nice golden texture to it. And that's really going to get that smoky flavor that you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And what you're going to want to do is give me some money for your drink quickly. I feel like we could call it even because of the moss here. Take your drink and take your moss, please. I'll just leave you a little moss. Thank you. Rourke closes his eyes and wishes Boggy away. Good evening, sir. Boggy takes his drink and kind of just a little too happily saunters over to an empty table. For just getting told off you skip to a table. Great. Murph, what about you?
You see clanging into the doorway is Zudrick of the murder. Zudrick looks like a rusty Dark Souls knight. like a knight in dark souls that doesn't attack you but you can tell that he's gone mad so uh just soaked in blood in uh rusty armor head to toe his full helm on you just see the great has an enormous like anime sword and a giant bag full of something bloody you see crows around him
near the open door here. Oh, hey. And he lets out a... Hey, come on. Shut the door. Sudrick caws out at the birds as if to say something to them. And then walks in with the bag. Do you have discounts if you provide your own meat? Good evening, Zodrick. For the thousandth time, we do not. Okay, then. I'll have a water. Oh, help me God.
Rorick pours the water with the energy of somebody who has served Zedrick only water for how long do you think you've been in town? Weeks. Sure you don't want to drink anything stronger? Hell dulls the senses. And we must be vigilant in the night. Vigilant in the night, yes. Rourke, like, finishes your sentence. He's heard it before. Thanks for not bringing the birds in, at least. And, Emily, what about your character?
I think my character is actually outside not in She is currently fighting off the crows as she tries to pitch a tent My character is Wellie Hamdan, a disgraced knight of the Order of the Oaken Ore. She is rosy-cheeked and... with cherubic whist- from her mousy hair that she's braided into a halo around her head she's got an Elizabethan collar poking out from barnacle encrusted plate mail
a sea green tabard embroidered with a wave and an oar and accented with river pebbles. She's also got a quill made from a heron feather tucked behind her ear and a bound folio as well as a bunch of weapons strapped to her back with oak handles. And I think right now, She's trying to fight off the crows as she pitches this tent. Good sirs! I beg of thee! I beg of thee! Peace, good-
Okay, so as this commotion is happening outside, your weapons are like clanging against the window as you're trying to fend off the crows. I'm getting cornered by crows. Good God. I say there, crow man, crow man. It seems your birds are causing quite a ruckus out there. Please do. I run outside to the crows. Edgar, Tabitha, Salem, Sabrina, stop. You have a bond with these crows? I am Cedric of the murder. We look out for each other. Really? Yes. Is that a family name?
I have no use for family names anymore. Oh, I'm Wellie Hamdam of the Order of the Oaken Ore. Oh. Well, I was. Do you need any of these crows killed? Why don't you all come in with me out? I'm happy to share this small thimble of smoky whiskey. Well, first off, alcohol dulls the senses. We must be vigilant. I couldn't agree more. Really? Chastity and purity are two of my five nightly virtues. Oh.
I'm mostly worried about being murdered at night because of where I come from. Ah, of the murder. Yes. TRAP! Yes, well, look, do any of you guys know how to dress a deer? and I unload the bloody bag that I have and I pour it onto the ground. Welly hears this and before she sees the bloody bag, she and her courtly upbringing says, Yes, I can dress a deer and begins to take off her Elizabethan collar to offer it to a deer. Oh, that's hilarious. You're very funny. Oh, guts. Oh, yes, yes. This was.
It was a quick, clean kill. I've a deal with the crows. They tell me where the game is, and I hunt it, and I share it with them, but the people of this tavern will not cook it for me. I'm a soldier, unfortunately, not much of a survivalist. Actually, I could use your help. I've only just come to town and I'm going to need to learn how to provide for myself outside of the bounds of knightly companionship.
Well, then I suppose I could help with that. I have lived in the woods for nigh on five plus years. I have got some experience with gutting and cleaning of animals. Would you mind if I took a look at that? Yes, please. Can I roll a survival check, maybe? Yeah, go for it. I'll give him the help action. Nice. Remember to save some for the crows. Very good, yes. I love your heron feather, by the way. I'm friends with all of the animals of the bog in the marsh.
Oh, thank you. I use it for soniteering. Yes, of course. Boggy smiles and has no what you mean. I smile assuming you understand. I'm another man of letters. I find myself amongst kindred spirits. Indeed, it's all good. Ooh, that's a 19. So that's going to be a 21. Wow. And you're trying to carve out this.
just going to do it right outside blocking the door good sirs I do plan to lay a sleep sack here if you wouldn't mind moving some of the guts away now lad what you're going to want to do is you've got to get right under the nape of the neck and just Slice right down. Oh, that's a Velour sleeve.
Tape sack you've just ruined. It'll come out in the creek, I'm sure. Two residents of Mudtown are approaching the bar and they see a dead deer strewn in front. You guys are skinning it. They turn heel and they walk away. No, no, there's sausage for all. You can be part of the murder. They run. I walk towards them, clanging. They sprint away. Does this make me complicit in a murder? Because that's implicitly forbidden amongst the Order of the Oaken Ore. They have a problem with groups of crows.
Oh, no, no, no. Those are quite encouraged. You're hilarious, Willie. Chapes upon chapes. Rorah comes to the door. Okay, fine. In or out. You're blocking the door. Ah, good sir. I have only just arrived in town. This kid, this kid was reaching a tent at your doorstep for some reason. Yes, which is not okay, but
I don't know what you said to these crows. You're riling them up. They're hungry. They're not coming down. They're hungry. Good sir Farflung, I have a tarp that I could lay upon the floor. Would you mind if we carve this deer within the confines of your tavern? Yes.
Come in till you don't scare anybody else away, please. Very well. We will be taking the discount since I did provide the meat. Yes, of course. You don't have to pay for your water. It's on the house tonight. Great. I will take a water as well.
Good, great. What is all around then? You must be vigilant. I'll take some water to mix with my whiskey, of course. Of course. The night will be long. What did you say your name was again? I turned to Boggy. Boggy Roger. Damn good to meet you, sir. Oh, yes. I have heard of your compatriots and the demise. Use them. Yes, yes. Boggy spots.
Grim stuff. But that is all right. I have sworn vengeance, and one day they shall be avenged. And that is as sure as the ender comes for us all, it shall happen upon this, I swear it. Pardon my churlish curiosity, but what happened here? Buds. It sounds almost like a nightly order which... I have much experience with. Don't get, don't get too into them. But why? I find myself very interested in boggy spots. So Drake is just doing the like.
Like around the throat. If I may be so impudent, I endeavor to meet them all. You pull into my heart much as I pull at this dears god. Indeed, they were Minnie, and they were wonderful. There was Longest Tom, Sister Bix, Dandy Oak Candles, Flute Boy, Crunchums, William Schitts, and our sweet Lady Linnebeth. Ah, I fear that we caught the ire of a local fish baron and they were all taken.
I was, of course, off on a mighty hunt for a large stag much like this one. And when I arrived at my campsite, I found my bods either slain or absconded with by the Baron. All except for Lady Linabeth, who... is now dating a professor or some such. I'm not quite sure. Scott, honestly, it's fine. It's great. That's a terrible story. I'm so sorry that that's happened to you. No, it's all right. This is... Such are the matters of this world.
Such is the way Rorick returns with your waters. He hears Boggy Roger telling this story, which he has heard before. quickly deposits the waters and goes away. It was a stag as black as night. I should have known it as an omen. Sorry I brought it up. It comes up every night at the tavern. But it's kind of the first thing when you think of Bucky Roger. You think of Bucky's buds. And so it's just noticeably absent when I got here. A drink? A drink to lost buds and new friends.
Indeed, as humans are park animals after all. Yes, I find myself... I'm used to sort of the communal living of the monastery, but now I find myself... a solo act. Yes. A lone wolf, as it were. I crow without a murder. You just keep saying that word that's forbidden to me. Yes, well, I find myself in similar circumstances. I am... Currently traveling alone, but I am a soldier. I am not much use without.
Pleasures of society, unfortunately. Well, I was planning on just coming here to Mudtown because I heard that this was a place where disgraced people gathered, and considering I am a disgraced person, I thought maybe I could redeem myself here. Disgraced people don't like to be called disgraced. I am disgraced. The first step in becoming graced again is to acknowledge that you are disgraced. Well spoken, well spoken, Sir Welly. Okay, so as you guys are carving this
this stag in the open bar, spraying blood everywhere. A tall, angular man slips into the tavern. His hood is pulled low. He moves straight to Rorik, pressing a small scroll into his hand. Rorik passes him a drink in return, and as he reads, the man leans murmurs something, and Rorick nods. And you guys can roll perception here if you want to see if you can notice anything about the stranger. well he gets very excited upon seeing the scroll
Did you see that? I believe he's passed a sonnet to his friend. You can pay for drinks with sonnets here. I got a nat one. I got a 10. I got a 16. Boggy and Zedrick, you guys see that this guy is wearing a pretty... common clo... But the boots that he's wearing are expensive-looking fur boots, the kind that you would probably buy across the bay in silversand. Look at the trim on those bad boys. As Rorick finishes reading, he brings the letter to a candle. The man watches his note curl and burn.
and then ducks away without ever taking a sip of his drink. Why would you do that to a sonnet? Did this note have like a wax seal or any sort of symbol or pedigree on it? With the 16, you would have seen it was just... It was just a simple scroll. Nothing fancy about it. Alright, so it's not a deed or a title or a loan. Clandestine. Zedrick, give me a history roll. 21. Amazing.
So Zedrick's been in town long enough to know that this is often how jobs do come in, through normal stuff. A messenger or a guard whispers something to Rorick, and he puts a stone in a large picture above the bar. Different types of rock imply different levels of difficulty and reward. So, the door groans closed, and Rorick removes the stone from his apron. You hear a small clink, and Boggy Roger, with your six teeth.
You can see this jar is full of unremarkable rocks, offering small jobs for little pay. But resting right on top, you see a silky black... This is JET and it signals a deadly job. The deadly jobs you might know are the only kind that pay well. In the shins. There's a black one in there. I turn to Welly. You said you were trying to make your way. Yeah, so I'm sort of seeking a redemption of the soul. Aren't we all? Indeed. You see Zadrek points at the jar. Ah, I understand. the finest stone
is the best chance of purifying the soul. Not necessarily purifying, but it will fill our bellies. Ah, I get it. And you need a full belly in order to... To purify the soul. Souls aren't really a big thing for me. It's like all we talk about. Just trying to eat, kind of. Yes, I would say that filling your belly and singing and making merry is one of the best ways to purify yourself. No, man!
No offense, but what happened to your crew? Just a little bit. Boggy. Boggy holds like the smoky whiskey under Welly's nose. Is that pity? smoke more than it were you ensorcel me ensorcel that's a good one welly you're hilarious every time zudrick says that welly look I'll titter a minute with this one. Rorik, may I see the jaw? You want the jet job?
Of course I want the jet job. Not just him. All three of us want the jet job. If you three are coming over here, you better be asking me for a mop, okay? I'm not giving you the jet job. Good sir, I am Welly Hamdam of the Order of the Oaken Ore. I am pledged to the lodestar and the ender and the hilt. If you are to trust in what is good about this world and what has left us and what will one day return, Enough.
That jet black stone, and I will make right. And I go to one knee. Don't, please do not do that. Zodrick laughs. Sir, I ask not for pay, only for forgiveness. You may pay me in forgiveness. No, you need food to eat, kid. The pay will be split, yes. Yes, the pay will certainly be split. The pay will be the fresh air and exercise.
You don't even know how to dress a deer. Barky had to do it for us, okay? Dress a deer? I take off my Elizabethan collar again. You know less than me. You know less than me and I know nothing. Rory, give us the goddamn rock. You know what, Welly, give me a persuasion check. I have a plus two. 18 on a dime. Indecent 20. Wow. Okay. Please, sir, if you ever believed in the loads and the hilt and the ender. Find it in your heart. To give a girl the stone she's asking for.
Hiltz balls, alright? If it'll get you out of my goddamn tavern, I'll give you guys the jet job, okay? Thank you, sir. We won't let you down. We're not really looking to impress him. You won't regret this, sir. Yeah, you know, I already do. Come here, okay? Come here. All right. He calls you over and he leans across the bar and he whispers to you in a conspiratorial tone. Okay. You know that brotherhood of hermits? The scared ones? They call themselves
I think I've heard of them. Have I heard of them? You guys can all give me a history check. Natwani, baby! Well, yeah, they cleared out the collapsed castle on the road to Wreckport a few years ago. They've been holed up there, but they've been venturing out lately, you know, coming into different towns, hawking this new elixir. It's called the Black Lace. Powerful stuff, apparently. He leans in closer and says, They say it can keep you alive, even after you
We haven't seen much of it in Mudtown, because it's only the nobles who can afford it. But the Hermits, you see, they dilute it. And besides, they're not coming around often enough, being hermits and all. I guess someone didn't want to let the scared ones make all the rules. A small party, three adventurers, went out to find the source of black lace. This was two weeks ago. Now these guys, if they left from Mudtown, maybe nobody misses them. Half the world's probably glad they're gone.
Please travel us. They left from the Silver Gate. With shiny new swords. Someone important is looking for him. I can't tell you who. But he's got no illusions. He knows the world beyond the gates. willing to pay a thousand gold for the recovery of their remains. And he's got plenty more if you can make the impossible happen.
So you're saying it's a rescue mission, and also there's treasure. Adventure bounds, friend. We will take the job. We're collecting corpses. Okay, Welly, and I'll actually apply your Nat 20 to this. as well. You would know the continent is littered with ruins from the age of stories. The bygone time when magic coursed through the world.
They say this keep was swallowed into the earth over 200 years ago during the God's War, when a battle between mortals and deities plunged all of civilization into chaos. No one remembers now who the castle originally belonged to, but the rumor is that no one who enters comes out alive. I'm going to pull the two of you aside and say, there's something about this that makes me feel like whoever is giving this job is trying to steal the recipe from the monks. Yes. Zodrick. Zogs. Yes.
Perhaps. But then if we stole it, then we would have the recipe. Well, we shouldn't be stealing at all. I suppose that's one perspective on the matter. It's a taint on the soul. I don't know that it's a taint, necessarily. It is. Just like... Greed and envy and... Taking too many knocks. Listen.
So you've heard the songs of Boggy, Roger, and their boss. Greed and envy are the colors of our blood. We take naps deep in the wood. Boggy, please. I put my hand on Welly's shoulder and I say, I've been a knight long enough to know that there is only one cause in this world. Survival.
We need that cult to survive. What they plan to do with this elixir is irrelevant. But if we sully our souls for the sake of survival, the gods will never return. The gods have long abandoned this place, child. But they're... But they're coming back. That's what we believe at the order of the Oaken Ore. I believe what I see with my eyes, and what I see with my eyes is glittering gold and full bellies. I turn to Rorik and go. Point us in the direction of the castle. You got it.
It's 40 miles east of the city, straight out the gate. Do you rent out mules? Or horses. I sell four drinks. That's what I do. That's literally all I do. You need a mule, that's your problem. But I will tell you, this job... It's pretty good. It comes with an advance. Rorik dips his hand into his apron and comes out with a fistful of, you know, tarnished, beaten-butt gold coins.
So you guys have some money to gear up and buy supplies tomorrow morning when the market opens. All right. That's a sparkle I love more than the moonlight. This is making me feel things. Yes, yes. Sir Roaring. before I retire to my tent. Yeah, you have to move it out of the way of the door, too. Unfortunately, I've put the tent spikes in.
They're immovable at this point. The crews have also perched on top of the tent. I love being around people, but I don't want to be a bother, so that's why I put my tent there before I go. Why did you burn up that sonnet? Was it a dirty one? You mean the... Piece of paper. You mean a scroll? Yeah. To keep it secret. What are you talking about? Sonnet. Dirty sonnet. Oh, I thought it was a sonnet. Do you trade poems or something? Of course.
Oh, oh, so really. Sonnets are not meant to be written small. They're meant to be written on large scrolls and passed around giddily by a fire. Passed around? but they contain such intimate insights into the writer. The body of the better, I say. Sir Welly blushes deeply of leaves. As Sir Welly blushes, you actually hear the sailors singing their song as incredibly bawdy, really graphic stuff. Oh my.
Who gave you license to be so free? I put my hand on Sir Welly and say, you know, one of my dearly departed Boggy Buds reminds me a bit of you. Sweet Sister Bix, she was a cleric of the lodestar. But also... A wonderful distiller. The whiskey she made would tickle your nostrils to heaven and back. Oh my, that sounds very sensual. Indeed. You can find there is joy in this world, and you should not deny yourself of it, even if you are on a sacred pilgrimage.
Must retire Yes, why don't we now that we've dressed this deer indoors perhaps we can dress the deer cook it You need to learn just bare minimum of what's happening here, Welly. Let's go ahead and cook the deer, share it with a bit of the crows, and... I'll be honest, I don't really... I've been sleeping in the stables, but even that is, um... Well, actually, I have gold now. I could probably just stay in a room, so I might do that.
My tent is actually made to be occupied by several nights. Oh, very well. We can watch each other's back so we don't get our throats lit in the night. I love it. Is this a tent made to block my doorway? Perhaps... I have a bit of a campsite a little outside of town. I've carved it into the wall of peat. Perhaps we could stay there. It's good protection from the elements. Welly smiles. so weakly.
That sounds great. I put a lot of effort into this tent, but I guess I could just undo this tent. I'm already undoing Welly's tent. That sounds good, Punky. Punky undoes it by just falling on the tent. tears streaming down our cheeks, which are also blushing hotly. All right, good sirs. We'll retire to the woods. To the woods! I guess we go over to Boggy's place. We help. Welly set up the tent and then cooking the deer over a fire and I pull off
I guess just like a full leg and toss it to the crows. There you go. The crows attack it wildly. Sutric, may I ask, do they all respond to their names? Yes. When I speak them. can you do that can you do it one at a time so i see that each of them knows their name Oh, we've never really put it to the test like this. Edgar. Tabitha. Salem, Sabrina. I tried calling some birds.
Is this an ability that your character has, or are you shooting from the hip? I'm a little bit shooting from the hip, but I do have... I can cast Animal Messenger as a ritual because I'm a Steelhawk fighter. So I do have the power to sort of... speak to animals a little bit, only as a ritual. And then I have animal handling. I have advantage on animal handling. I think with that level of bird backstory, I would straight up allow this to happen if you would like it to.
Woo-hoo! Yeah, you see... Wow, they all know their names. The birds. come down and menacingly flock on my blood. It's just covered in blood because I killed the deer in my full armor. Very blood-born. Yeah, sitting next to the fire covered in blood and crows. spawned yet? Oh, not yet. You've been out and about. Zudrick holds out Tabitha on his finger, one of the crows, and goes, I made my way down to Mudtown from... the far away I grew tired of the Like I had said. before.
I'm not much of a survivalist, I'm a soldier. But the crows took. Follow them. that I was able to hunt in the forest. We have a bit of a symbiotic relationship. I have a gift for them. I hold out my crowbar. And then I look at Welly. you're not as funny as well that's really funny that's not as funny as You know, Zudrick, I take out my heron feather, and I say... That crows and herons sort of represent balanced opposites in
You say you are disgraced, but you seem like a kind and gentle knight. Yes. I let my baser instincts take over, and I exit. Kill someone. With a rock? No, no. Stole a hundred thousand gold from a nobleman? What I stole was the honor from a beautiful lady. By murdering her? Okay. So like third base or what? Yeah, what are we talking here? Okay, basically, we were kind of flirting at a banquet. She held her hand out upon parting. Yes. Told me to put my lips to her glasses. And upon impact, I
The kernel release. Goddamn. You came in your pants at a ball. But it gets worse. Because of my shame, I retired to my bed chambers. I penned an erotic sonic, hoping to purge myself of these indecent thoughts. Fellow knights discovered it and read it to everyone, including the knight that the Lady Genevieve, who gave me the carnal release, Was betrothed to. That's rough stuff, yeah. That's pretty tough. So it is with deep shame that I walk the lonely road.
so you were like exiled you're just kind of left in an abundance of shame of course i was exiled but by myself it was a i was a choice i chose to exile myself all right now you both know My deepest shame. That's not... That's frankly not that bad. We've all squirted our jotters at one point or another. We've all jizzed in our pants. shame around the campfire you speak of purification you speak of a new light look there it is the flame tonight we drink we dance we make merry and tomorrow our four
comes. I'm probably just gonna go to bed early, but yes, that Our fortune comes tomorrow. And what doesn't come is us in our pants. That was good. To that. To not coming in our pants. Yes, it's never coming in our pants again. Cheers. And now, these three compatriots. Come Patriots. Perfect name for the party. Secret squirters. Bound by tragedy. The tragedy of violence erupting in your village. Of all of your friends being murdered. and prematurely ejaculating in front of your crotch.
This triad of tragedy is officially formed and you guys go to bed for the night and the sun rises. The sun rises the next day behind a blanket of clouds. It's a gray day in Mudtown. Columns of light break through the mist on the south side of the bay, shining like it always does in silver sand. You meet at the salt market.
a haphazard collection of ramshackle stalls selling everything from smoked fish to dubious elixirs. People shout and scuttle past one another, haggling, cursing and anger, and in Seagulls wheel overhead, fighting with crows, I imagine. Diving down for scraps of food, their cries barely audible over the din of the At the edge of the makeshift square there's a stone structure The smithy inside is kept There's always a mark.
above another hill opposite Laval rising above the briny docks there's a cedar shingled harbormaster hut where you can send letters and leave in Lastly, there's an unwieldy driftwood temple on the long scrap of beach separating Mudtown from Silver Sand. So yeah, this is the Salt Market. stalls for for potion for food for gear anything you might need so what do you guys want to do okay so 40 mile trip we may want to We don't have enough for horses, unfortunately, but... Maybe we could borrow one.
I don't know that they'd trust us necessarily, perhaps if we could leave something behind. Are you saying we could all fit on one horse? Absolutely not. Okay. Okay. So borrowing one wouldn't really work, would it? I meant to borrow. Borrow several? Borrow several. Are you really getting caught up in the details here? Are you trying to give me shit, kid? No, never.
All right, I'm sorry. I apologize. You don't need any more shame. All right, I don't need any more shame. I am unworthy. It is I that keeps the gods at bay. Ellie, you don't. I promise it's not you. Yes, it's a lot of other people. Yes, I guess I look at Boggy and I go,
I don't know how your weapons and armor are, but I'm pretty rusted up over here and potions might be good. I don't have any kind of healing skills. Nor do I. More libations is always the good move, I'd say. So let's, ah, perhaps... Spend some gold on potions. And if you trust me, perhaps I could work on getting us some horses.
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That's NordVPN.com slash N-A-D-D-P-O-D. The link is in the episode description. Great, yeah, I guess I'll... Just be prepared to leave very quickly. I'm always ready to leave. Yeah, I guess, uh, poke around, try to buy some potions. How much gold do we have? Let's say you have like 50 gold. 50 gold. Try to see if we can get any potions. And I guess if there's any like armor offerings.
Okay, sweet. So we'll go over and try to scare up some potions first. Great. You guys walk over to a dwarven man. as he hunches in an oversized wall cloak. his shoulders drawn up as if preemptively guarding himself against the coming rain. His booth is made of light sheets of wood, the kind he could pack up and move at a moment's notice. A fine, hand-carved sign reads,
herbs, herbs, rarities, and rare teas. You step forward and he picks up his head. You're surprised to see a decidedly friendly face, a bright red nose, and a cheery smile. His gray beard is tied with trinkets and jewels and he belches. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. How's it going, guys? I gave myself a healing potion this morning. He jiggles a flask at you. I love that guy. You're drunk.
Shouldn't we all be? It's after sunrise. No, sir, you have a problem. But gee whiz. I think I'm going to go to Boggy and say, Boggy, I have an instinct to do something. Immoral. In the name of this quest. Speak it, friend Raleigh. I think just have my back.
And I think Welly's gonna try for the first time in her life to like... kind of disguise herself actually she's never been to town before she's gonna basically just do it make it look like she's not with these two oh okay and i think she's gonna walk over separately to this potion dealer and say Hello, good sir. Do you have any black lace? Okay, yeah, you say that to Herb of Herb's Herbs, and he hiccups half because he's surprised and half because he's drunk.
Black lice with that stuff. That's a curse Okay, do you know where I could get some? What do I look like, a hermit to you or something? Okay, just the hermit. Thank you very much. He gets a little aggravated. I walk away and then rejoin the party. Hey, where'd you go? Someone called me a hermit. That was something. I was trying to figure out if there was any sort of
Salacious dealings of black lace. Now, were you putting on, like, a persona just then? Were you trying to be someone else? Yes, I did a voice. Couldn't you tell I did a voice? You did well. You got answers without asking many questions. I'm still covered in blood and crows, and I slept in my full armor, and I have a huge sword on, and I just turn to the vendor and go, no alcohol, please, just whatever kind of regular potions you have, and dispense with the pleasantries.
And the burping. Yes, we will dispense with that burping. The burping? I can't help it. Okay, yeah, he's got some potions here. He's got Potion of Healing. He also has a filter of love. He has a potion of... Welly clocks the filter of love. A potion of comprehension and a potion of poison. Ah, a potion of comprehension could be interesting. We are going to a place of ancient importance, but perhaps there are runes or ancient texts. I mean, I will say we can definitely pick it up. I do.
All my stuff is reflavored instead of giants to be gods, so I know the writing of the gods because I'm a rune knight. Interesting. I see. But let's pick it up anyways. How much are your various potions? I can't help it! Sir, it's possible that you're dis- I just caw in his face super loud out of nowhere to try to scare the hiccups away from him. These burps are so heavy I feel like you're not
keeping the liquid down and that's disrespectful. He starts hiccuping more because he's so afraid. I was gonna say, you give Welly the hiccups. Damn it. The hiccups are so annoying. Just tell us the goddamn price. Okay, what about the comprehension five You really ruined this guy's day. He was so happy before we came to the stall. We want to pay five for the push-up compassion. Okay, good. get out of here i guess we'll buy want to do three potions of healing and one of comprehension
Okay. If there's any more space in our coffers for a potion of poison, that would be great for dipping in my arrows. Oh! Very well. That's very interesting, yeah. We'll pay five gold for that as well. Sure! It's only two! Okay, sweet. So that's healing, comprehension, and poison that you just got. You also wanted to hit the smithy, so we can head there now.
So at the edge of the market, a dark plume of smoke rises into the air like a thunderhead. The forge is a squat stone building with a heavy wooden door and open air windows. A peeling wooden sign bears the name Hand Strong. You can feel the heat as you approach. Behind the door, you find a cracked cement floor and a stone counter flanked by two giant wooden beams. Behind the rippling distorted air is Yoren Hanström, the blacksmith.
Yoren is raining down blows on a longsword, a spray of sparks glinting across the floor with each blow. Beside him, at the billows, is his apprentice, Teemo, a wiry tween drenched in sweat but refusing to rest. We've come to look at your wares. Oh, yeah. Come in. Come in. Close the door. All right. Very well. Joran walks over, but before he does, he splashes the long sword in a bath, and steam rises up. What do you need? My armor is a bit rusty.
My sword is a bit rusty. My axe is a bit rusty. My hand axes are a bit rusty. I'm a bit rusty. Your belt buckle is immaculate though. Thank you. What's with that? It's new. Pop. Either of you might have an answer for this. I turned to the blacksmith and his apprentice. Did you... Make the weapons for the adventurers that were making their way to the sunken castle. Uh, Joran's eyes go wide at that, and he says, No, no, everything's cursed. Teemo pipes up. He says the place is cursed, sir.
Cursed! Yes, thank you. Thank you for clarifying. When he says yes and no, it sounds very similar. Yeah, no, they were... Yeah, well, yes, I suppose he was mumbling a bit, but, um, yes, you're both speaking the same language. We understand him. Timo, Jorn, what is it cursed by? I have no concept of evil, just an absence of good. The place has been cursed ever since Balric the Banish. Vanish to the cave. There's a law. The banished vanish.
Do you need me to translate? I was sort of snarky about Timo, but I could use a read on that. Yes, sir. Boric the Banished vanished. Boric the Banished vanished. It's Boric the Banished, sir. Bullrick the Banished was vanished. Vanished right into the cave then, didn't he? It's a cave that the monks live in? Yeah, it's like a castle. It's a castle that was sucked into the earth in some kind of cataclysmic events or collapse. So it's now intertwined with the cave itself. And Joran says,
You're going to the castle? Yes, if you're going to the castle, sir! Actually, they got that one. Yeah, we got that one. The only one is especially mumbly, do we? We'll tap you on the shoulder if we need to. Yeah, thank you, Timo. I give a nightly salute to Timo. He spins and tries to salute you. Stumbles backwards.
Oh, shit. Oh, no. You popped yourself in the eye. Careful. There's so much fire in here. Jolly bad, then. I suppose we should ask, then, we may or may not be making our way to the castle. We have a fortune that we seek. Bad things. Bad. Very bad things. Bad things. Yeah. He beckons for your weapons. And now that he knows, you guys are headed to... The castle and the cave. he's going to do something special for you. He's going to give each of you a plus one weapon so you can leave them here.
I'm gonna just leave all three of my weapons. Welly, come on. Jolly goodness. and I'll have something for you. I do. Oh, okay. And he calls you over to a little corner of the shop where he has actually been working on some rings. He's going to hand you a heavy iron ring. with sigils of a star, like a capital T at an angle, and what looks like a leafless tree. Oh! These are the sigils of the old gods. I recognize these. Oh, you do? Timo, are you a believer of the Lodestar, the Ender?
You have to be. You have to be. You have to have hope, miss. Right. Yeah. What else is there in this world? Nothing. Nothing but darkness. Excuse me, I was having a private conversation. Sorry. Eavesdropping is one of the... It was one of the nightly no-nos. I should know that by now. You are right. So yeah, Timo hands you this ring. Okay, I think that Sir Welly feels Like she must find something in return. But I don't think I've started with anything.
So I think, like, does Timo have anything on him? Like anything metal on him. A belt buckle or something. Oh, yeah. Timo. Timo is wearing leather shoes with a metal buckle. Okay. I go down to the buckle and I start chiseling in my own room. Ow! Ow! Please let me remove it! Jolly bad friend! Jolly ouch!
Almost done! Wow! He lifts it up and inspects it. What did you carve into Timo's buckle? I actually just carved one of the runes I do, which is also the lodestar. So I carved a... of a western star into his Thank you, miss. Thank you, sir. Thank you. So yeah, now Joran will work on these weapons for you guys. Okay, well thank you, the both of you. And then I turn to my new sort of comrades and I go, no, it's the matter of the horses.
Indeed, yes. I have a plan I would love to discuss with you. Let's move outside, or at least near the door. Okay. Alright, you're in grunts. Goodbye, and you guys are off. I would like to case the statement. Okay. Yeah, they're outside of the market where all these vendors arrive. They're probably tying up their horses. Are they guarded? In Mudtown, they're watched, but I wouldn't say guarded.
There's a 19-year-old stable boy. Just humming to myself, I peruse the stables, I take a long lap, and then I meet back up with my good friends, and I say, Sir Welly, how would you feel about furthering this devious persona you've developed? I felt very conflicted as I put on an entirely different persona earlier realizing I was lying. But for good reasons.
And I'm willing to do it again. Yes, grasp the flame of truth in the malice of your actions. That's very good. Malice? And you, Sudrik? Yeah? Would you be okay with pretending to get into a fight with Sir Welly? Sure. Wow, herons versus crows. Usually a beautiful symbiotic balance.
as the herons represent the beginning of the world and the crows represent death. Yes, and also there are egrets, and egrets are fucking crazy. Egrets are also herons. I don't know what egrets are. They're two different types of wading birds. You're making me angry. I'm Crabwell. So I think as soon as... Sir Zudrick! I forget the caper. Sir Zudrick, I will defend my honor. Crows are better than whatever the hell you're talking about. I attack Zudrick.
Wow. Okay. I'm going to do Might of the Gods. Jesus Christ. And try and shove Zedrick in front of the stable. I'm just going to go with it. Okay. Yeah. Give me an attack roll. Dirty 20. Sorry, indecent 20. I'm not going to roll an athletic check because Zudrick just goes limp and goes to the ground. Zudrick? Zudrick! Zudrick clanks to the ground. So Welly, a small woman, shoves Zudrick.
hulking knight in rusted armor and you crash through the fishmonger's cart. I immediately get to my knees and I say, Zootrick! I'm sorry. What have I done to me? I start calling for the crows. The crows start diving for the fish. You've had it up for me since yesterday. Ender's chin, they're going at it. What the fuck? The fishmonger is freaking out. I feel limp and let the crows feast on me. Tabitha, look Sabrina. That man that man in the armor and sold to the church I saw it
fucking cockles! We make a huge scene. As they're making a huge scene, I'm going to attempt to stealth over to where the horses are, and then I want to basically try... knock out this 19 year old okay you wanna just punch him or you can hit him with the butt of your weapon oh sure yeah yeah I'll hit him with the
The freshly carved pommel of my sword. Sure. Yeah. If you want to sneak up on him, roll stealth. So I'm going to make this a lucky roll and the new rules you have to declare that So I get myself advantage on it essentially. Hell yeah. That is going to be a 24. All right. This teenager is sitting hunched over on a gale of hay.
He's picking absentmindedly at a white head on his chin. And he's humming an old song that he heard in a tavern somewhere. You absolutely sneak up on him. You can hit him with advantage. I sneak right up behind him and I say, wow, those two are really going at it, aren't they? Well, he's currently professing all of her shame to the entire town. There are herons, seagulls, and ravens clawing at each other in the sky. That's a 19. Yeah, 19, you absolutely clawed at each other.
I'm going to hit him right on the white head, actually. What'd you say, sir? You smack him. He's absolutely knocked out cold. He probably would have walked away if you just told him to take a walk. But he's knocked the fuck out. I quickly tie him up. Jesus. He is limp as a rag doll. You have to check and see if he's breathing, but he is. All in a day's work. And I'm going to...
Humming the same song he was singing, I'm going to put a gold coin in his palm. Oh my god, like a serial killer. And then using my same knife, I'm going to cut three horses loose. Okay. And then I'm going to... You know what? I'll try and attempt a heron's whistle. A heron's mating call, if you will. Just for me. Yeah, there you go. Their dance is actually beautiful. Their dance is inspired by their mating courtship. I've seen many herons fuck in the woods.
This is a call to Zudrick and Wally, correct? Yes. Go ahead and give me a performance chat. Okay, that is going to be a 10, but I'm going to use Tactical Mind. I'm going to use Tactical Mind, which means I can substitute a second wind charge to add a d10 roll to that. Sick. Yes, you can. That's a one. You could always use, we get heroic inspiration in the morning.
As humans in the new rules, I think we all get heroic inspiration with every long rest. Sounds like you're lying to me. Are you taking advantage of me? I'm going to do it before I can look it up. Holy fuck. I rolled an 8 again. So that's an 11 on my Heron call. I'll say that it's actually a really convincing heron call, but there are so many birds squawking and calling in the sky.
that it's indiscernible from all of the noise that's going on in the market. What were we supposed to do when we were done with the fight? Well, he's lost herself in her public mea culpa. He just threw self-flagellation in a public forum. That I can make myself whole again. You, sir, have you ever done anything that's made you feel ashamed?
I point to a random guy and go, yes. It's a dwarven potion seller. He starts handcuffing again. Why is everybody judging me? All right, um, you know what? Welly, uh, I forgive you. Fight over. Come, crows. I call the crows, and then I just start walking out of town. Okay, I'm going to have someone roll an insight check to see...
They are very distracted by all of the fish spilled on the ground. This was perfect because your distraction has caused further chaos beyond after you guys start fighting. As we leave, I'm apologizing to everyone for the mess we made. The fishmonger is shrieking at the birds. Herbs from Herbs Herbs is questioning everything. He's wailing. He's crying. The market has devolved into chaos. So you guys can leave unnoticed and go meet Boggy.
Wow, Zudrick, that was a really intense scene. Is the market always like that? No. So I just got lucky. Why have we caused all of that? Really? Oh, right. We sort of took the scales. Because we were supposed to meet up with Boggy. Boggy! This way, this way. Three stout stallions await. I walk over to Boggy. Did he get the horses? Yeah, Boggy, you've got the horses.
you did successfully knock out this teenager. He was like that. You put a coin in his hand so everybody won't believe that he took a bribe. He died himself up, in fact. The only thing is that the stables are sheltered and people might not have seen what you've done but You will have to walk the horses. out the gate so I'll need you guys to make some kind of deception or
stealth rolls on horseback to not be noticed. Is anyone good at talking to people? I'll do deception, actually. I have advantage on rolls because of my rune. Great. Then why don't we just ride out normally and we just act like these are our horses? Indeed, yes. There are two languid guards playing a dice game against the wall by the gate. I rolled a five and a one. So with advantage, I got seven deceptions. Shit, those guards are languid as hell.
Good sirs, the teenager begged us to take these! Hyah! Run, everybody! The teen went rogue! He sold us these horses super cheap! We're not even going to see how they're going to respond. We're just taking off. I guess as soon as I see them take off. Take my heels into the horse's room. Yeah, we all take off. Okay, okay. They are all surprised, as am I. One guard shrieks, his voice is cracking. The other one is sitting on an overturned bucket. He falls backwards.
actually everybody has had their eyes like on the road watching for anybody coming in not anybody barreling out and also so let me set the scene a little bit for the perimeter of mudtown It's a vertical wall of timber logs driven deep into the ground, sharpened to a point at the top. occasionally there's a rickety rise of scaffolding constructed against the inner barrier with archers patrolling above at the mud gate which is the main land entrance or in your case the exit there are two guards
who you just knocked over, and then above them are four archers, and you were charging at all of these guys and out the gate, that's right. Well, yes, I guess we're following, yeah. Great. Get those heels in those horses' rooms! Okay, so we're all going to roll initiative. they're all surprised and that means in the new 2024 handbook did you guys know that There's no more surprise condition where they don't act for a round. They just roll with disadvantage. Oh! Interesting. That's cool.
Um, I got a ten. Nine for Boggy, but six. 16. You know what Vogue is going to do, actually? I'm going to use a superiority dice because I'm a battle master. Oh. And I'm going to use my ambush ability to add a d8 to my initiative. Oh! You know what? And I will... Use my heroic inspiration to re-roll. Wow. Whoa.
Cool. Before you guys use too many things, these guards all rolled a one, so they're going to go pretty last. Yeah. All right, my new initiative is 14. Mine is 11. I got one higher. Okay, sweet. That is Zudrick. You're going first. Great. Zudrick thinks about all of the times that he has murdered people and looks at these guards. What are you thinking about, Zudrick? Just how quickly we could get away. Young Knight. And I guess...
Keeps his blade on his back and is just going to use, I guess we're just using like riding horse stats, which would be 60 feet of speed. So he'll go 120 feet and sort of blow by these guards. Great. The first two guards already cannot do anything. They're instantly out of their range. And I call to my crows to follow. One of them shits on a car. No, that's a bird call. Yeah. Yeah, Zudrick is truly bizarre, I'll say. You know how sometimes when cyclists are going really, really fast,
They'll do that thing where they just bring their legs totally up. He's doing that but on a horse as he rides really fast. Surrounded by crows. Is he doing crow pose on a horse? One of the guards watching just says Okay, so gate is open. We don't need to worry about that. That's good. That's right. I suppose I'll just dash as well. That seems to be... Or just get shot 16 times by yourself. Okay.
But I will be a little stylish about it. I'm going to stand up on my horse and I'm going to expose my rump as I ride. Boggy's back! you dude a naked ass rides past these guards at the gate they watch your rump I've heard tell of Boggy's rump. Welly shields her eyes politely. Boggy hesitates and then rides pantsless into the distance. And now that is Welly. Welly. sees the freedom in which Boggy operates and feels the lore but stifles it she's gonna also dash she's gonna shout back to the guards
Gentle sirs, I mean you no harm! And then, dash for 120 feet. What the? What the fuck does that mean? And then I go to expose my rump and then I get shy. They almost see cracks. You're just standing up fiddling with your belt. They see like a dimple above the crack. You've got so much armor on. Don't doff now. Don't doff now. Mid-backs. slightly exposed. They're fine with it. They guys have all dashed. You're already out of range of their, uh, of the archers above crossbow ball.
but they will shoot with disadvantage basically for one round before you guys can fully dash away. Correct. They're aiming at Zodrick. 13 to hit. Misses. Of course. Pink's off me, off my rusty armor. 7 to hit. Misses. Pinks off the rusty armor again. Now they're going to aim for Boggy's bare ass. Shout out to the two crew. Another complete miss. Feast your eyes. The ender's cheek. Absolutely distracted by her bum. Wow, the bookends of Ender. Life and death.
I didn't realize I was traveling with two hilarious comedians. What? A final seven. So all of these arrows, Miss, arrows are whizzing by your heads, whizzing by your exposed asses and your exposed mid-backs, sticking into the muck as the beating hooves of your stolen horses.
Thunder down the road. Cries from the guards, the seagulls, the crows above ring in your ears and then fade behind you as you lean machine this brave stolen animal its muscles pulsing to carry you forward arrows are beginning to fall short now you can hear them hissing through into the earth behind you. Then a curve ahead, one more rogue shot. tree trunk quivering as you round the bend and burst beyond. None of you knows what lies ahead. Death. Glory. Certainly. and that's where we'll end our
Oh, man, this is so fun. Are you guys having a good time? Thank you. I love it. Great time. I must sing the praises of Skaldoma. This is rad. These characters are incredible. They're such outcasts. It's such a weird trio. It's also funny that they're all like grimdark, but they all also kind of get along. They're grimdark in their own different ways. Yeah, true. Except for Welly, who's very pure. You need that. You need that. You need that.
just for the record Jake said I want that in the world oh yeah so I could have made a grimdark character but Jake said he wanted you having a carnal release I'm the guy who didn't ask for the Cardinal release the cat being cast out because you came in your pants was so fucking funny self exiled I can't wait to get to those short rasts yeah this has been great thank you guys oh my god yeah great work Jake incredible Jake what a
Yeah, I want to start. You can head on over to our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod. That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing yet until it snores short. Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? I'll actually kick it off. Dementia 20's got a bunch of shows this year. We're going to be in Seattle. We're going to be at a Hollywood Bowl and we're also going to be in Las Vegas. So check that out. Dimension 20 live in 2025. Speaking of that, I want to shout out.
Avery who came to Madison Square Garden my dad apparently cut you in line thank you for being nice to my dad. Incredible. Oh, I have some P.O. Box stuff, actually. It's been a minute, but I managed to collect all the stuff that we got over the holidays. We got some fun stuff. um oh uh hannah and terrence sent us custom-made dice they give out to folks uh at their wedding
The one has drawings of their faces on it, which is very funny. Very humble and very cute to put your faces on the one. That's right. Like, yeah. This is incredible. Sawyer R sent us a hand-bound leather poetry book. with all of our intros from campaign one to present. Whoa! My God! What? It's so... elegant and eloquent yeah for the stupid rhymes that we have put inside of it wow and then um oh sam from the howling salt mine podcast and it's a nice letter and a bunch of variant
token cards plus a Kringko and an Issu the Abominable for Emily. That's so exciting. Sam also apparently wrote the theme song for episode 583 of If I Were You. I don't know what that means. but uh but i do and it means everything to me somebody also i believe i'm not sure if this was rowan phillip or not but somebody named rowan sent us an invisible sun black cube box with like five books for this Invisible Sun module in it. It's like a TTRPG about abstract magic.
If you sent that to us, if it was you, Rowan, or if it was someone else, please let us know because it's like massive and beautiful to look at. It's a spectacle to behold. and it was really cool to see so thank you so much for sending yes thank you thank you all right uh jakey anything uh no just listen to skulldova here on this yeah i'll be back next week with more skulldova in the meantime you can follow us on social media there may or may not use
At CHP's me, at CaldysCaldwell, at the experts, Emily, and at Jake versus Jake, and you can talk about the show using hashtag NADDPOD. That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are. Thank you. We are, we are! Well well well.
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Kat C, Misa of House and Zunza, Ariel the Occasional Mermaid, Selena N, a.k.a. Valacy Raptor, B Perky Always, Pat L, Maxwell J, Lauren H, served 16. Annie, the Feywild therapist. Connor, savage. Salil, biocourt, seven. Amber, dextrous. Beanrat was innocent. Jack H, king of the mole people under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket-style tournament. Valen, Paj, The Bitchin' Bunny, Bard, Carlin C, Noah the Bullywug Boy, Hashtag Honor the Cock.
James G. Everything. Bago, the Aladrin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripey. Reverend. Chatterbones. Han. Eric B. Marcos. Learns the balance. Druid. Frida M, Maggie, Holly the green laughing hyena, Akash Thakkar, Cal misses the D5s with all her heart, Aaron B, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, yes the whole thing, yes every time. Cody, see Lorelai the succubi and Kira the succulent snack.
McKenna Stout, your friendly neighborhood and uncle, Andrew and Sid. John Adams didn't win the vote but won your heart. Meg, the mail carrier of Bohemia. James F. Austin S. Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them. Turn to page 42. Keep them. Turn to page 69. J&C. Barpo. Good Barrel. Bard. Barion. Garrett G. One. Big Curd. Rene. The Monster Captain. Alicia.
the enchanting bard, and Jared, the soap opera cleric who will be auditioning for Callie's acting troupe, Winter, Slade, Fico, Garrett the Artificer, Damon, son of that one merchant named John, Anthony the Raddest of Dudes, Jay, the fairies have amended all their ways and are volunteering at their local petting zoo. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian. Lexi loves the two crew. Roger L. Nodrog, the pass a fist barbarian. John Luca, Tristan the talentless hunk
Leon K., legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign. Shenanigans, O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S., Alexander, Lins W., Johnny, Dude K., Pavu Escanor, the Goliath Paladin, providing service with a smile, Tim, MMLG. Cheeto shall be Ken's first favorite sprite girl. Blown away by the MSG show, Staten Island Facts, and Stone Cold.
Donners, y'all should be proud. Hell yeah. Snailus, who's infecting Worcestershire Fort Within. Captain Morgan Pirate Wizard. Pawpaw Skydays. Meemaw Skydays. Megan N. Anthony B. Savannah H. Balnor's best friend Steve, Stephanie of House and Zunza, Benjamin A, Gimli the Corgi, Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend, Mikkel A, Josh Hull, pilot of the Nightmareverse flight,
Froakie, the two crew, blew through. January, Ethan, the mailman. Maple, the shy bookworm. Asha, Soros, Seth E. Billy, Batson. Tori, the tungsten. Dragoose.
Michael L.S. II, Carl B., Plumber of the Realm, Dex Riddlewell, Hannah A., Ra, Ace Dregs, Highlord of Critsburg, Darius D., The Guy from That One Thing, Troy's Mom, Venn Diagram, Catamilius, The Consumed, Bart of Holding, Clinton P., Grinchville Cam, The Grinch Dogman, Dean, Jake W., Hi Mom, Tuesday Cross, the Choose Your Own Adventure writer, not the porn star, Steve L., Tyler, Mick, M., Alex G., Zibby DeBacquery, Nicole, Kaylee, H.,
Katarina C. Lady Jacqueline P. of Castle Whitestone. Greg W. wants the D20 truck nuts. Jake thought up. Interesting. Baruch Thunderhelm. Fifth generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. literally Satan, Chupac Aubrey, Boney is dead, and of course, Cohen Pace. Thank you, everybody. That was a HeadGum Podcast.