It's a classic for a reason. This week your favorite brunetted divas are talking about classique perfumes that have stood the test of (their) time. Tune in as they consider the butterfly effect of Santal 33, beg to sample a gorgonzola perfume, and finally dare to ask: what the fuck is oakmoss? If you'd like to smell like a pair of double Ds or a decision made in a boardroom, press play now or forever hold your peace. *** Fragrances Discussed: Bo by Liis Molecule 01 by Escentric Molecules Santal ...
Dec 01, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Season 1Ep. 27
This week the ladies sit down with none other than world-famous fragrance influencer, LA perfume legend, and die-hard fraghead Steve Gontarski! You may know Steve from the @luckyscent instagram, as the manager of Scent Bar LA, or from his iconic frag reviews on Tik Tok. The gals find themselves honored, humbled, and absolutely obsessed as they chat with Steve about a veritable symphony of frags. Listen to them argue over the difference between Fran Drescher and Fran Liebovitz perfumes, reminisce...
Nov 16, 2023•2 hr 6 min•Season 1Ep. 26
Who's feeling lucky? This week the ladies roll the dice, pray to the perfume gods and finally click "add to cart." That's right, they're discussing the polarizing topic of fragrance Blind Buys and sharing the good, the bad and the completely random. It's a veritable potpourri of salon core aesthetics, shopping mall memories, drugstore standbys and a fragrance note described simply as Pure Cloud. Follow along as Maddie and Chloe tackle this week's tough questions: Is Olivia Rodrigo the only hope ...
Nov 10, 2023•1 hr 29 min•Season 1Ep. 25
Well, they've finally done it. The ladies have found the freaky-deakiest frags that are too weird for even them to wear... or are they? Who wants to smell like a diorama in The Natural History Museum? What about a tangerine on fire? Honeyed goat cheese anyone? If you are looking to fall in love with a perfume that confuses everyone around you, you've come to the right place! *** Fragrances Discussed: Akro Ink Tom Ford Neroli Portofino Byredo M/Mink Jorum Studio Paradisi Paloma Picasso by Paloma ...
Nov 01, 2023•1 hr 18 min•Season 1Ep. 24
Get ready to really let your frag flag fly because this week the ladies are talking about positively ghoulish scents for Halloween. Listen in as they get skunked, keep warm under a campfire blanket, find the perfect duo costume, and finally apologize to the font community. Questions posed: Would you rather smell like Rodeo from Rock of Love or Tilda Swinton? Does Chloe have the perfume taste of a Gen-Xer? Will Maddie finally sport a breast plate this halloween? All this plus the perfect perfume ...
Oct 19, 2023•1 hr 25 min•Season 1Ep. 23
Who's in the mood for some fresh froot? This week the ladies meet to discuss everyone's favorite topic: dating! They reveal their perfect date frags, their best and worst rendez-vous, and finally agree on what disappointment smells like. All that plus brunette vs blonde perfumes, a fragrance simulacrum, a sloppy toppy stoppy, and butterface scents. Maddie gets catfished and shares the perfect frag for getting laid at a wedding, while Chloe explains why if a guy's wearing sandalwood, she sandal w...
Oct 13, 2023•1 hr 23 min•Season 1Ep. 22
This week the ladies take on a controversial topic: Fragrets, i.e. those frags that maybe didn't need to make it all the way into the cart after all. Listen as they discuss epic blind buys, perfume second tries, and a fragrance that smells deep fried. Chloe enters her convalescent cinephile era, Maddie climbs back on her Kyse bottle soapbox, and the gals debate which perfume was worn by Harvey Milk. All that plus an Ex Machina fragrance, a dirty little period piece, the art world's crippling fra...
Oct 04, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Season 1Ep. 21
You are in for a treat this week hunnies! The ladies are joined by none other than performance art superstar, web series pioneer, and Los Angeles icon of style, the notorious Casey Jane Ellison! Listen in as Casey sits down with Maddie and Chloe to debate some of today's most pressing issues: Do you wash your feet? What does a big glossy art book smell like? Is Chloe's ankle tattoo a starfish or a graphic representation of her home state of New Jersey? All this PLUS latex wedding looks, red vine...
Sep 20, 2023•1 hr 56 min•Season 1Ep. 20
Well now they've really done it! The ladies have listened to your voicemails and are ready to finally answer the question: what is THE definitive gay guy scent? Listen to them drink too much Guru organic energy, admit their undying love for Santal 33, and revisit style icon Justin Bobby. Chloe reveals a bisexual awakening and Maddie finally comes out as an ally. They're here, they're queer (?) get used to it. *** Fragrances Discussed: Pink sugar by Aquolina Angel by Mugler Tonka Cola by Mancera ...
Sep 13, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Season 1Ep. 19
This week the frag hags are in for a very special treat: Chloe and Maddie welcome Nose Candy's inaugural guest, gay country rockstar and LA icon, Sam Buck! Sam and the ladies contemplate shoplifting at Joann's, the declining popularity of ball odor, date rape graphic design, and finally dare to ask: what exactly makes a gay guy perfume? If you're looking to smell like a reusable shopping bag, big milky tatas, or a fresh urinal cake you have come to the right place! Can't get enough Sam Buck? Go ...
Sep 06, 2023•1 hr 31 min•Season 1Ep. 18
Your favorite bloodhounds are blessed, booked, and ready to sniff out the wheat from the chaff. This week they couldn't help but wonder: Is Walt Disney the original dupe-master? Is sapiosexuality a myth? Is it perfume or.....something else? Follow along as they discuss their favorite fragrance dupes, debate the growing popularity of orange marshmallow farts, and demand that more hot uber drivers wear sweatpants. Want to smell like dryer sheets? What about a tween on the eve of her bat mitzvah? G...
Aug 31, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Season 1Ep. 17
Searching for the best scent to wear on a walk of shame? Well call your Uber and throw on last night's thong because the ladies are discussing everyone's favorite topic: hangover perfumes! This week the gals advise on fragrance merchandising, debunk a perfume myth, and toast to a creative Renaissance, all while trying not to puke up last night's tequila sodas. Chloe maintains her reign as Los Angeles' queen of country and Maddie returns to the perfume-making lab to master a Pink Sugar dupe. Foll...
Aug 24, 2023•1 hr 18 min•Season 1Ep. 16
Who’s ready for a hot yeast injection? This week Chloe tries her luck in Vegas, Maddie shares her pickup game, and the two ladies finally manage to score the best table at BJs. Listen as they debate the scent of the summer, share their respective criteria and trademark their newest venture: a scented coochie wash :) Hold on to your taints and get ready to over-apply because your fave frag freaks are back and more unhinged than ever! *** Fragrances Discussed: Akro Smoke Akro Bake Una Tira d’Altra...
Aug 17, 2023•1 hr 27 min•Season 1Ep. 15
Secure your jaunty little chapeau and log into Amazon Prime because the Nose Candy gals are back from summer vacation! Take a journey with them from the bargain basement to The Galleria to the beaches of Sorrento as they discuss tube top politics, Arabian night aesthetics, plastic swimwear and Nivea perfume. Maddie runs away to Marseille and hires a male stripper on Long Island and while Chloe trolls r/fragrance and enters her zero waste era. *** Fragrances Discussed: Les Belles Fragrances Eau d...
Aug 09, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 14
God it smells good to be back! This week the ladies roll up their sleeves, expose their dainty little wrists, and spritz on some sugar AND spice. Listen in as they analyze their bitchy sherbit dreams, trade catfishing tales, and open the door to Italian guys with wet hair smells. Chloe reads The Idol for filth and escapes from New York while Maddie attends Dyke Day and rocks out on stage. Has their search for the perfect breakfast cereal perfume finally ended? Are pheromones a myth? Can a Muppet...
Jun 29, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Season 1Ep. 13
Come hop into the fruit bowl after a brief hiatus! This week, Team Pretty Bitches smell some 70s potpourri, shop for rotting fruit at the farmers market, listen to AI-generated pop, and talk MFA frags. Chloe buys seven (!) frags and burns CDs at the library while Maddie defends NFTs against angry men and continues her search for life-changing perfume. *** Fragrances Discussed: Spirit Cask by Jorum Studios Comme des Garçon Wonderwood Chokedee by Strangers Parfumerie Comme des Garçon Marseilles To...
Jun 14, 2023•1 hr 38 min•Season 1Ep. 12
This week the ladies avoid children, rally against sysphian beauty standards, and make an argument against bed frames. Smell along as they sniff eraserhead perfumes, kush accords, nail polish remover, 3-day old t-shirts, and milkvetch. Malibu yogurt covered pine needles, tan moms, Nepo baby models, Gen-X typefaces, creative director boudoirs, and perfume that smells like nothing at all? It's just another day in the life of these two psycho scent-obsessed sickos! *** Fragrances Discussed: Gorsela...
May 26, 2023•1 hr 44 min•Season 1Ep. 11
Wanna smell a dead body? This week your favorite frag freaks talk corpse fragrances, tomb perfume, cheeseburger music, and an anise ménage à trois. Follow along as they explore Zoologist aesthetics, straight guys in gay bars, American Juniors, and Charli XCX. Chloe takes WeHo by storm and joins an eating-ass-skin support group, while Maddie shares her perfume wishlist and a new SUR to-go concept. Get ready to pull out your notepad and leave your brain at home this week sniffies! *** Fragrances D...
May 17, 2023•1 hr 52 min•Season 1Ep. 10
Make room in the booth because this week the ladies are attending their first ever scent fair! Get ready with them as they talk about mirepoix perfumes, Ricola notes, leather weather, and the appeal of smelling like an old pocketbook. They analyze Diesel's answer to Mugler's Angel, debate a croissant frag, and reveal a newfound Fragrantica hack. Maddie reconsiders a Fragrancenet return and defends lipstick perfume while Chloe ships a frag from Italy and reflects on post-transition doppelgänger u...
May 10, 2023•1 hr 39 min•Season 1Ep. 9
Who's in the mood for some Noseplay? This week your favorite consenting adults use the safe word LOEWE while discussing sex shop perfumes, bar mitzvah aesthetics, buttery fecundity, Berghain, and fuck you fragrances. Join the ladies on a pilgrimage to Scent Bar, follow along while Chloe directs a porn and listen closely to hear Maddie's jaw audibly hit the floor on mic. Just another perfect perfume illusion with these two kinky frag freaks! *** Fragrances Discussed: Sécrétions Magnifique by Etat...
May 03, 2023•1 hr 36 min•Season 1Ep. 8
Join our little oenophiles this week as they discuss alcoholic frags, hot grandmas, sponge notes, the scent of blood, and sandwiches with middle names. Learn the ladies' perfume application techniques, what to order at Schwartz and Sandy's, how to commit insurance fraud, and the difference between Puss's Boots and Minnie's heels. Chloe compromises her stomach lining and visits New Jersey's answer to Scent Bar, while Maddie argues for Portlandia aesthetics and guesses Antonio Banderas' net worth....
Apr 27, 2023•1 hr 53 min•Season 1Ep. 7
This week your favorite financial analysts talk perfume economics, the Kafka effect, fragrance gatekeeping and bandaid scents, all while stimulating the economy from behind. They compromise the Nose Candy Lab with butter candles but press forward in their double blind analysis of perfume layering, hot mom frags, dental reassignment surgery and TJ Maxx colorways. Chloe reveals her dating app easter eggs and shops for perfume in a fugue state; Maddie bemoans her latest fragrets and contacts Fragra...
Apr 19, 2023•1 hr 50 min•Season 1Ep. 6
Tune your lute and straighten your Friar Tuck wig because your favorite frag heads are getting medieval this week. Tune in as the ladies discuss dopamine dressing, toxic perfume positivity, Lisa Rinna's Rapunzel scent, and Tyra Banks' disgusting breakfast ritual. Chloe reveals her beef with Marie Kondo and how she lost weight on the spaghetti diet, while Maddie gets her colors done and goes green with fragrance envy. *** Fragrances Discussed: Gloam by Aesop Basilica by Milano Fragranze Coven by ...
Apr 13, 2023•1 hr 37 min•Season 1Ep. 5
Thirsty? This week your favorite perfume conspiracy theorists go Becky Buckwild and spill the Sobacha! The ladies dish about cornflake perfume, squeaky spicy green notes, The Woman, adulterer body types, and making friends with Uber drivers, all while holding court at Byredo. Get out your notebooks while they explain how to wear expired perfume, which dating apps the Vanderpump Rules cast use, and the difference between grandma and old lady frags. *** Fragrances Discussed: Byredo Mixed Emotion B...
Mar 29, 2023•1 hr 30 min•Season 1Ep. 4
The girls go gaga, crack open a bottle of Txakolina, and dare to ask: was she ACTUALLY born this way? Tune in to learn about vanilla bug spray, British boy bands, lumberperson perfumes, fish gowns, bizarro Samantha Jones, and the private lives of rare coin collectors. Maddie talks about her favorite herbalist and buys a fragrance from Walmart while Chloe attends an event and gets fired from the pod due to an HR violation. *** Fragrances Discussed: Comme des Garçons Copper Angel by Mugler Basilic...
Mar 22, 2023•1 hr 12 min•Season 1Ep. 3
This week on the pod, your girlies deep dive into the Cartesian Coordinate System to chart the intersection of thrift store scents and children’s library perfumes. Follow along as they find The White Space between the Byredo font, wet concrete, Paige Denim, and the bottomless mimosa plant. Chloe reveals a crush on a master nose, Maddie saves up for a $210 bottle and our little trend forecasters predict the return of Skel Fab in 2023. *** Fragrances Discussed: OR/ 2018 by A. N Other PS I Love You...
Mar 15, 2023•1 hr 23 min•Season 1Ep. 2
On today’s episode, Chloe and Maddie talk about FB (full bottle) regrets, salad perfume, Adrienne Maloof's hair tinsel, MILF Manor, papyrus notes, big bean energy, swarm mode, addictive personalities, and how to pronounce rhododendron. The gals each pull a tarot card, Chloe introduces a controversial new segment, and the Undercover Sociologists bravely ask: Do base notes all smell the same? Where were you during Miley's 2013 VMA performance? What does patchouli actually look like? Who are the ne...
Mar 08, 2023•1 hr 30 min•Season 1Ep. 1
