Hey friend, so we are back, and I was inspired today actually because I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts and she talks about how she has done over 500 episodes once a week consecutively without fail, and. I was like, dang. She said she did the math. And that was over nine years of podcasting and continually showing up week after week. And I was so inspired by that, and it has been a challenge for me to be consistent in recording these episodes. So I realize that.
Integrity is one of my core values, and this is one of the areas that I have been slacking frankly, in terms of being a person of my word. So I'm going to, for the next month, make sure that I am, an episode once a week, live every week up and on the podcast. So thank you for being with me, even though. I have not been super consistent and I just wanna share that this is on my heart and on my mind and it's something that I'm working on.
So with that said, we are gonna talk about how you may have been using building relationships with donors as a crutch. Here's what I mean by that. I was talking with a client a couple of weeks ago and she runs an amazing organization, so effective. I'm gonna spare the details so that you don't know who it is. but doing life-saving, life-changing work, and has amazing donors.
So credible, just like a fantastic leader who is, who is not busted through a million dollars a year yet in her annual budget. And we're meeting to talk about who, her donors are. Who are the people who are giving the most, why do they give? What does she know about the circumstances around the largest gifts that she's ever closed? Because these are clues as to what is working and what you can double down on and do more of.
This is what I start with in my conversations with clients and I uncover that and then we learn that I, you know, I asked the question. Who else could be a potential major donor? Like who else could you be asking for more? And she says, oh, well, there's like this handful of corporate executives who their companies give to us, but the executives, you know, they give like 500 bucks a year maybe if that. And this one guy in particular is my biggest fan.
Or I had another client say like, oh, I meet with them twice a year, and I would consider them my closest mentor. Like they advise me, they're a mentor and they're the president of a university that is a household name. this particular person who was their biggest fan and was a corporate executive of a multibillion dollar resources under management multinational firm, and they were the managing director. Once I Googled them, right, on the call with her and I'm like, okay.
what's this guy's name again? He's your biggest fan. Tell me who he is. What, what's the company name? I look it up. I look on the about page of the company and I find out that they have something like 400 billion in resources under management in their firm. Meaning that is in terms of what they manage, the business that they have. Amounts to $400 billion. And I was like, how much does this guy donate to you?
And she said, well, the last gift that he gave was like a couple years ago and it was $500. But I've never asked him for a donation. I mean, you can imagine what my response was. I was like, what? I said, dear your client, do you understand how wealthy this person is? And you're saying they're your biggest fan and you've never asked them for money? Can I understand why that is? She's like, well, he gives in lots of other ways. He gives his time. I am, I talk with him all the time. He's a mentor.
He advises me on a lot of things. And here's the deal. Here's what I told this client and what I'm gonna tell you, you are using, building the relationship and keeping the relationship as an excuse to not raise more money. And it is killing your growth. It is killing your mission slowly. If you have someone who you would say is your personal biggest fan or the biggest fan of your organization, or maybe both, and that person has the capacity to give a lot of money and they aren't. It is on you.
They don't need another best friend. They're likely. Going to their buddies and their friends, and they're likely claiming to have been so pivotal in the growth of what you do in your organization and your work. And they actually haven't personally donated that much.
And the reason that they don't do more, the reason that they don't invite you into their world, the reason that they don't make you their plus one when they go into those rooms that you would salivate over being in is because they don't take you seriously. You have not proven that you are a serious business person because you haven't asked them for a dime. And you are using, building and maintaining the relationship as an excuse to not ask for money from a wealthy person who is your biggest fan.
I cannot tell you how I hear this all the time, and I cannot believe how prevalent it is. And if they've given you a dime, then it's already proof that they care deeply. And what happens when you do ask them for a gift, when you say, Hey, I want you to consider giving $50,000 this year. You are changing the way that they relate to you. They no longer see you as someone who needs a lot of advisement and unsolicited advice.
Now they see you as someone who is serious and is bold and brave, and an executive who can handle having business conversations with real people. And I've seen this happen over and over again. Clients now go and approach their wealthiest, biggest fans. And ask them for more from their personal giving. Ask them to give a gift from their assets. And that client says, you know what? I can't give you 50 K, but I will give you something. I'll give you, I can give you between the 20 and 30 K range.
And you know what? I wanna invite you to this event that I'm hosting in three months. Make sure you put it on your calendar. There's gonna be some really amazing people there, and I want you to be there. It because what happens is they see, oh, you, you're leaving the kitty pool and you've jumped into the deep end. You can swim with the big kids now. And so I'm going to organically invite you in because now you, you're acting like the executive that I thought you could be.
Now you're actually stepping into that, and so you change the way that the donor relates to you if you are getting a lot of unsolicited advice from donors and board members. And volunteers telling you how you should raise money. It's because they think you need help and you might not need help. You just don't communicate that you already have a strategy in place and you're likely not asking that person who's bringing you the unsolicited advice.
You are likely not asking them for more of their contribution. They're like, yeah, somebody should really step up and do this. when it should be you who's stepping up and saying, Hey, I love that you're passionate about growing a revenue. That's why I wanna ask you to step up and four x you're giving this year. That is an effing boss ass move my friend. And that's what you need to be doing.
If you have somebody who you think could be giving so much more, stop putting it off and freaking ask them for more. Don't try to get so smart. You're like, oh, I need to run through the a wealth engine first. Oh, I need to figure out what the perfect amount is. I need to figure out what the perfect timing is. You don't have time for this garbage. Just freaking pick up the phone. Get on our calendar. And say, you know what?
I don't know if this is the perfect amount, but I'm gonna ask you to give $50,000 this year and just see how it goes. They'll tell you if it's too much, and if it is, then they'll end up giving less, and that's still a win. That's a gift in the bag. Great. Done. And then you can move on to the next.
This whole idea of like, I need to build a relationship with this person and by osmosis, by them being around me and hearing about the mission and hearing about what I'm working on, they will just unprompted give an extraordinarily large gift is ridiculous. These people are executives, or they're retired executives. They are business people they want to be spoken to and taken seriously, and they wanna have a real investment level conversation with you.
Stop expecting people to read your ever-loving mind. That is not how six and seven figure gifts are raised through mind reading. If someone is your biggest fan and you have been knowing them for years, you need to be asking them for more yesterday, and that is the very first place that I start with my clients. That is the very first place you need to start is the people you already know.
And once you step into talking to them like a peer, then they will organically open up their network to you because they take you more seriously as an executive. Do you understand what I'm saying? You're worried about new donors and you wanna get new donors. You wanna get more major donors. The current donors you have. And getting them to give their best gifts. Makes them more bought into your mission. It makes them create greater ownership of your mission and your organization.
They feel a greater sense of owning the success of your organization. So when you ask for more, it isn't costing the relationship. It's investing in the relationship. When someone gives you more money to your organization, they're literally more bought in. And so they're gonna be more inclined to become your organic lead generation strategy. If you want more donors, create an amazing experience for your current donors. And how you do that is by asking them for more.
The smaller the gift, the smaller the impact, the smaller the joy. I know that there is this whole notion of we should treat all the donors with the same quality of love and care, and while I agree that every donor has immense value and worth, 25 K is worth more money than $25, there's no way around that. That's the way that it is. And in order to close 25 K, you need a completely different strategy than to close a $25 a month gift.
I'm not saying that those two people are any less or more valuable or worthy as human beings. I'm saying that the money that they give does more and there's no way around that fact. That is how it is. And so we need to be able to bring the level of care and clarity and intention and leadership in these conversations and get the money in the freaking door, and stop with this. Keeping people close and spending time with people who've never given you a dime or don't have an intention to.
And you know how you can know If they don't have an intention to, you ask them and they'll tell you, I'm not a major donor. Or they'll tell you, I am a major donor. Here's $10,000. Stop playing these games. They know that you're a C E O. They know you're a major gifts officer. They know you're the head of growth. They know you're the VP of development. They know what you're doing. Like this isn't a mystery.
This isn't some game where you're just there to hang out till Kingdom come and never ask for anything. Stop asking for advice. Start asking for money. That's what you freaking need. Get real. Get real with yourself. Like what game are you playing here? If you wanna be taken seriously as an executive, then be a freaking serious executive. Have some executive level conversations, and ask people to step up and give more because they can and they will, and they want to.
They're not gonna presume anything unless you tell them. Then they will know people who are healthy, ask for what they need. They can communicate effectively and clearly what they want and need, the type of support that they need. In interpersonal relationships, this is the mark of a healthy person. Healthy people ask for help. Healthy people ask for what they want. They don't pretend like they're good and play it. Cool. That is destroying your mission. I really want you to hear what I'm saying.
You need to ask for more and you will raise more. And building relationships cannot be the thing that is stopping you from talking about money with serious people who have a lot of money to give. Relationships are where money flows through. But it cannot be the thing that stops you from doing your job. And you know I'm tough on you cuz I love you and I am committed to your growth. I'm committed to it.
And if you know that you are in a season where you need to grow exponentially, you have a massive vision for impact for your community, for the people you serve. For the environment, for whoever it is, and you are looking to close your largest six or seven figure gift in 2023 from an individual that I want you to go to my website, julia adonia.com/million and take a look at my new program, million dollar v I P. And see if it's right for you.
I help you to close your largest gift from an individual in six months, and we work very closely together. I am your executive fundraising coach. On a weekly basis, you have me and your co-head of fundraising, so I help you to close your largest gift and bring in exponentially more major gifts from individuals this year. If that's you, I want you to check it out. You can message me on LinkedIn or Instagram. I'm there every day. I love hanging out there.
I'd love to connect with you and let's chat and see if that's something that's right for you. I have one more opening for the month of May for anyone who wants to start in May I'm already booking for people in July to start. If that's your new fiscal year, that's a perfect time to start. Six months takes you through the end of the year. And I would love to support you, so message me, DM me on Instagram, message me on LinkedIn. I would love to chat with you. You can get on my mailing list.
Go to nonprofit courage lab.com. If you do not get my emails, they are bomb and there are so many amazing email templates and tools in there that can make your life so much easier. People raise 10 K 40 K gifts just from what I teach in my free emails that I send every single week. So I encourage you to get on my mailing list. If you are not already Julie or.com, that's where you can go. You can also go to non-profit courage lab.com. Either place is great.
Stop using building relationships as an excuse. To chicken out and not ask for more. It's time, my friend. It's past time. You've got your biggest fans, they're really in your corner. Then the risk is actually really low. That's where you start. Until next time.