All Our Donors Are Maxed Out

Hi, friend. I am so excited about today's topic because it's something that I hear so often that all of your donors are totally maxed out, that you don't have donors who can give more. You're not even sure that you've got people who could give 10 K or a hundred K or 250 K, whatever it is that you believe is their max. They're already giving it like you don't have these big, wealthy, generous donors that other people seem to have. And you might be connected to people who are wealthy. They might give, but they're not generous. Like they're not gonna give more, even if they have the money. And while sometimes this is true, it's certainly not true about everyone. So the problem that I have with the statement is the word all what I do with my clients is I'm like, okay, so there's no one. Who could give more than $10,000? That's what you're saying. And of course the answer is, well, no, but you know, it's this and the, and this type of thinking is killing your growth. It's not protecting you. It's not protecting your relationships. It's not allowing you to avoid upsetting people or offending them by asking for too much money. It's not doing you any favors at all. All of the benefits that you think it's giving you, it isn't. It's an illusion. What it's actually doing is keeping you and your impact small and your organization small and your budget small. And that's not where we're headed. We're headed towards growth. We are headed towards exponential impact. We are headed towards community transformation. We're headed towards generational change. We're talking about communities and states and entire cities and nations being transformed. That's where you are headed. And this type of thinking that all of your donors are maxed out comes from self-preservation. Well, I wanna protect myself from taking the risk of looking like a fool and asking for too much money and not knowing what I'm doing and effing this up. I'm not going to take that risk. So I'm going to sound smart and protect myself and say, well, what we really need is new donors. Because the ones we already have are all maxed out. This comes from thinking that you have a pulse on your donor's finances, and you don't. Stop trying to get the perfect wealth engine data and the perfect donor research in order to justify asking for more. Here's what ends up happening. You run a wealth engine search and you find out how much money people have, and sometimes you're surprised, sometimes you're shocked. You're like, holy, this person is so wealthy. And they give us five grand. And guess what happens? You still don't ask them for more, because then what you need is you need the perfect plan. You need to have the perfect strategy. You need a fancy pitch deck. You need the perfect pitch. You need the perfect messaging. You've gotta get it all squared away. You've gotta get all your ducks in a row, you've gotta. Cross your T's and dot your I. You gotta make sure that everything looks so professional before you go to these wealthy people and ask them for more. And then once you get that, and then guess what? It's gonna be something else. There's gonna be another reason why. Oh, well, now we have this HR issue. actually, we need to focus on hiring more staff. Actually, we, what we need to do is update our website. Actually, what we need to do is come up with a social media strategy, because that's gonna lead us to new donor cultivation. Actually, what we need to do is do a gala. Actually, what we need to do is build relationships even more, because we really need to suss out if these people are gonna give more. First before we go to them, even though we did the donor data research, even though we have the plan, even though we have an ask amount, even though we have the pitch, even though I have the relationship, I just need to build the relationship more to make sure that we're good. Like this is the rat race that we get into. It isn't about your donors being maxed out. Let's just face that it isn't about that. This comes from the fact that it takes courage and it takes accepting the fact that you don't know if it's going to work out. You don't know if they're going to say yes. You don't know if they're gonna give you another dime. Just because they've been giving for seven years straight doesn't mean they're gonna donate again this year. The truth is you don't know. It is a risk, my friend. There's no way around that. It's not certain. And sometimes what our brains do to protect us from the high level of risk and uncertainty is we go to the place of cynicism. I know this and I'm not intending to throw him under the bus at all. My husband is one of the most incredible people on this planet. I'm convinced. Sometimes he goes to a place that I like to call the cynicism cave. And in that cynicism cave, he is certain that he knows the future. It's a place he goes. Doesn't go there often, but he needs to have an important conversation with someone that's gonna be tough. He assesses that it's going to be tough for any number of reasons, the person can't handle the truth. They're not gonna take it well, it's not gonna go well. He doesn't know how to communicate effectively what he needs to say. They're going to misunderstand him. They're not strong enough to be able to handle the direct feedback, whatever the reason is. But he's certain that he knows how it will go. And the other day he had a tough conversation with a person that he's on a team with and he talked to this guy and he kind of ruminated on it for two months in the cynicism cave and then finally had the conversation. he comes to me and he says, so I, finally called this guy our friend who is on a team with us. And I said, well, how'd it go? And he goes, it went great. And then me being the loving wife that I am, I said, so if you had to finish this sentence, I was wrong about blank. How would you finish that sentence? And he was like, I was wrong about how they would react. That I thought I wasn't gonna be understood. I thought I wasn't gonna be heard, and I was, and they actually were quite humble and listened and were very open to my feedback and thanked me for the feedback and, you know, and so on and so on. He goes into that cynicism cave because he knows that he's going to be taking a risk and it's actually uncertain. It's really uncertain, and he's putting himself, he's at stake. Not only is his comfort zone gonna be violated, but he could potentially damage this relationship. That's what he is projecting will happen. It's a negative projection of the future like I, and so because he doesn't like uncertainty, the way that he tries to gain certainty back is by going to cynicism. And I'm not saying that you, dear listener, are a cynic, but I am saying that when it comes to your fundraising results, that is a place that sometimes you go and that is killing your growth. You want to have some level of certainty, and so the place that you go is projecting a negative future. While they're not gonna give again, they don't have more money. There isn't enough. We need new donors. The donors we have suck or we've ruined the relationship with the donors we have, so we can't possibly rebuild it. It's beyond repair. We cannot ask them for more. And if we do ask them for more, it's gotta be nine months from now after we've spent all of this time rebuilding the relationship. And then maybe we can ask for more. You might think that it's certain that they're not going to give, like you're sure about that, but I've seen this over the course of se of so many years doing this work. I had a client going through Courage Lab, and she was sure that this donor did not like her and they gave $10,000 the year before. And the challenge for that week inside my group coaching program was to pick up the phone and I, I gave them an outline, a script of, of the conversation they were going to have, and it was to ask for a major gift. Over the phone from a current donor, and for some reason my client fought of this particular donor, but she was like, oh, this person, they actually don't like me. They have a bad taste in their mouth with us. Yes, she gave $10,000 last year, but I seriously doubt like she's not gonna give again. But fine. I'll do your freaking homework and I'll pick up the phone and call this person. So she picks up the phone, they do a little chit chat. She follows the guideline of what I recommend, and she makes the ask. She says, would you consider giving $10,000 again this year? And again, she's doing this even though she told me She's 100% not gonna donate, but I'll do it anyway because. I'm paying you to be my coach and this is part of the program. This is the challenge and I'm gonna follow through. I committed to doing the work, so I said, great, go for it. And to truth be told, I wasn't even sure if this donor was going to give because I, don't know the relationship as well as my client does. So she asked for the 10 K and the donor says, Yeah, sure. I'm happy to give 10 k. I'll give it this week. So here is my client. Really relationally intelligent, like high emotional iq, really good at building relationships. somebody who is so likable like you, enjoy being around them. Donors enjoy being around her. And she was certain that the money wasn't going to be there, but she was like basically humoring me and did it anyway, and got $10,000 that same week, which was week one. By the way, inside Courage Lab, because I, teach my clients, the first thing we do is you get a quick win. Right out of the gate so that you know that this is possible. Anytime you decide to ask for more, you will raise more, period. So here's what I've learned. The only way, sometimes the only way to overcome your cynicism is to ask for more and do it anyway. Just outwork it. You don't have to even believe 100% that. Oh, it's absolutely gonna work. Abundance is mine, and I'm claiming it. You don't even have to believe that. The way that you can overcome your disbelief is by actually asking for more anyway, and then getting the result and the numbers, the money will convince you that you were wrong. I am not saying that every time that you ask for more, it's a yes. If you have relationships with donors, it's a yes or a not right Now those are the two options with someone that you have a relationship with. it's a no, some tragedy has happened, something has gone terribly wrong. But outside of those cases, it's a yes or it's a not yet. It's a yes down the road, and it may not be the exact amount that you ask for, but you're not gonna know unless you ask. You do not know that all of your donors are maxed out unless they told you from their mouths. Unless they texted you, told you on the phone, told you in person, or emailed you or DMed you on Instagram or LinkedIn or whatever, and said, Hey, you know what? This is the most that we can do. Unless they said that. If they said that 12 months ago, guess what? It might have changed. A lot has changed in 12 months. You simply don't know, and what I'm saying is stop trying to be so smart. Stop trying to have all the perfect data and all the perfect plan and the perfect fancy pitch deck and the perfect messaging and everything, and just ask. And they will tell you, Hey, you know what? I can't give 30 K, but I could probably give half that great. Amazing. And there's 15 K. You do not need to have all of this fanciness. It is noise. It is a distraction. Simply overcome your doubt by outworking it. Do what you know in your head like you logically know. Every time that I ask for more, I raise more When I ask for money. I raise money. It's that simple. Like it really is that simple. People come to me and they're like, yeah, our biggest months are May and December. And I'm like, okay, well why is that? And they're like, oh, well we, we invest in these really great email campaigns, or we do an end of year giving Tuesday campaign. we do a spring event where we do peer-to-peer fundraising or, and I'm like, okay, so, so basically, Around May and around December is when you ask, and they're like, yeah. I'm like, okay, so why don't you ask in January, February, March and April, and why don't you ask in June, July, August, September, October, and November. Why do you wait until the end of the year and then you're in a pinch and you're stressed? Why don't you just do the thing that you know is gonna raise more money and you'll raise more money, and people will tell you if they're max maxed out. Stop making assumptions thinking that you are being so smart and so strategic when what you're doing is killing your growth. I understand where it comes from. I understand that we want to be really protective of the relationships that we have spent years building, and that is wise. You're not protecting the relationship by not asking for money. When you ask people for more, you're asking them to buy in at a greater level, and that's strengthening the relationship. So I get into these debates with my million dollar V I P clients who I work with one-on-one as their fundraising coach, and I help them to build a customized strategy for their major gifts program. And I debate them about their assumptions and why. They wanna ask someone for a certain amount. That is the unique value add that I bring when I'm your coach. Okay? If you only wanna ask someone for 10 K, tell me why that is, and then your argument and your reasons, and your logic has to stand up against my reasons and my logic, and my experience and my wisdom. And if it can't stand up against it, then I win. And you have to ask for $250,000 people work with me because they, they want me to help them make the case for why they can ask for more. Like what is the strategy? What are your really big audacious goals? And I'm going to always advocate for asking for more. And on rare occasions is asking for less the right move. Right? And so it's never at the sacrifice of let's piss off our donors and let's. Put our relationships at risk. My agenda is for you to exceed your fundraising goals and strengthen your relationships at the same time. They can both be done. It is not one or the other. If you think that you have really strong relationships, but you don't raise enough money, I would like to challenge that assumption. Just imagine how strong your relationships will be when you're raising millions and millions of dollars. You will have people who are truly in your corner and take ownership of the mission in a way that they never have before when they're giving their best gifts. And the only way for you to know is to ask for more. Until next time.