Why Are These Kids Hanging Out With An Orangutan?

Hello, listeners. My name is Jeremy Greer. I'm one of the hosts of Non-Human Biologics, the X-Files podcast you're about to hopefully listen to. And I wanted to give you a brief warning because Chris and I have a long legacy of creating podcast themes. based on popular music. And you're about to hear one of those and it's about three minutes long. So I just didn't want you to come into a brand new podcast and be like, where's the podcast? Why are people singing about files?

But we spent a lot of work, a lot of time, and a lot of energy with our friends creating this song. So we want to play the whole thing for you right at the beginning. Don't worry. Every other podcast will have a shortened version of the theme and then go right into that sweet, sweet content that you dearly love. Thanks for listening, everybody. Enjoy.

I'm Chris Mosier. And this is Non-Human Biologics, the creepy but necessary podcast where we dig up all of the graves of your family looking for little gray men. And congratulations, listener. You've made it to the very first episode of this podcast. Chris.

How are you today? I'm great. I'm excited to talk about the X-Files. How are you? I'm really excited to talk about the X-Files. I was... I was thinking earlier today that I have such a weird history with this show that it's going to be interesting to cover because I feel like I've experienced the X-Files almost like through other people.

Like I would go to my dad's house in the summer and visit and he would be like obsessively watching episodes or something. Like he would rent a videotape from Blackbuster. And like, so that's like, like I've never really sat down and watched it. point a to point b like from the start to the finish uh and i think

Before we get too far into this episode, we probably need to be very clear with our listeners. There's a chance we may not make it through the end of this. There is a chance. There is a small chance that we've covered. the TV show Supernatural and the TV show Merlin. Supernatural was huge, but that was our first thing. And it took us, what, four years, five years, something like that? I don't know. And then we did Merlin, which was just a year.

In and out. X-Files is a huge show, and we are certainly determined to finish it. But there is a chance that we might just say, hey, we're going to take a break from this. We want to cover a different show instead. I don't think that's going to happen after like two seasons. I think that we're probably going to ride it out for quite a long time.

But if we get into year three and we think, hey, let's take a break, then, you know, full disclosure, we might do that. I'm pretty concerned about the quality of some of these episodes. So I'm because. I saw some of the later run, like when David Duchovny is no longer on the show.

some of that stuff like doesn't, I feel like that a lot of that's not going to be as appealing to us. Like I just, and maybe, maybe it will prove me wrong. Maybe we will watch it and be like, actually, you know what? This is the best part. You never know. Now that Duchovny got his weird sexualized ass out of here, we're into this. But all of that is to say, like, we're going to be committed to doing this until we get tired.

essentially um i want and i want to put that caveat out there because like chris said it's a long show um there's like seven or nine seasons i can't remember off the top of my head now uh and then there's multiple movies I've seen a bunch of the movies and I really like them. So I'm pretty excited to cover those like all in order too. Like we're going to, we're going to want to do that. But I will say.

Watching the first episode was so much fun. I think the decision to cover the show out of a lot of the other shows that we could cover was a good one. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. It fits the format of what we've done in the past. I'm a big X-Files fan, although I haven't seen the entire show. I've only seen about five seasons of this show. So there's still there's uncharted territory for me. And I know you got into it a little bit.

But do you have a sort of history with the X-Files? Like, what's your basis here? Well, that's just basically what I said before, which is like watching it because it came out like I was in primetime age. Like this came out when I was around 13 years old. So it was airing during my teenage years, which I think is the best time for like this kind of conspiracy theory. Aliens are real kind of thing. But even at the time, I remember being a little bit above Aliens.

I was like, oh, okay. Probably not. You're starting to get to the cool age. Yeah. I mean, like maybe an X-Man, but aliens, absolutely not. like not gonna happen um i uh i was born in 1990 so i was a baby when this started and my uh my dad and my older sister watched it so i was I was exposed to it a few times. There's a particular episode that they told me to sit down and watch.

And I watched it to get the shit out of me. I associated the X-Files theme song with being abducted by aliens. A huge fear of Child Crisp. That was a huge fear. So that was my sort of association with it. I had seen episodes in syndication over the years. And then when I was in college, I got super into it.

and watched the five seasons that i mentioned i was all in i was like reading books and and just i was fully an x files fan um the ringtone opening theme song it has been for like 12 years yeah my ringtone's never on so it's just on vibrate fantastic i love i did not know that going in and that's great yeah this has been my yeah because i mean i never hear it so i'm like whatever

Anyway, now that we've talked for five minutes. Well, I think we have a little bit more admin to do real quick. For people that have never listened to us before, if you're stumbling into this from iTunes. or from Apple Podcasts, excuse me, or Spotify or wherever. Chris and I are... Like he mentioned, we've covered Supernatural, we've covered Merlin.

We like to discuss TV shows on an episode-by-episode basis. We're going to cover pretty much the entire plot. Depending on the episode, we may dig in really deeply and talk about character motivations and things we like, things we don't like.

Or we could just like start hollering at each other about weird jokes that we just can't stop laughing about. So we're going to have a very humorous take on all this stuff. At the same time, we're going to do our best by the characters as they were presented on the screen.

I'm just going to issue a general warning. And this is from the early 90s. In this very first episode, there's some pretty egregious talk about... people in comas and the way they refer to them as quote-unquote vegetables and things like that they double and tripled out on that yeah yeah i couldn't believe that the double down um but it's it's it's so we're not gonna like

spend a lot of time being preachy about that. It's real easy to look at stuff like 30 years ago and be like, I can't believe you said this stuff. Well, at the same time, like we're going to acknowledge it as it comes up and be like, yeah, you probably shouldn't say that now. So if any of that stuff bugs you, you should probably check out now because that's how we do business. We don't fuck around with using the wrong language around people that I can't control.

Also, this is a little weird, but I want to thank both the artists. for our artwork that you're probably seeing on your app of choice, as well as our musical people who have created a delightful song for us. all of that will be leaked because where the magical world of podcast landed, none of that is finished yet. Yes. So I don't really want to talk about it, but yeah.

That's all. We really appreciate all that hard work. You just listen to it. You've heard the intro that I haven't even heard yet, so that's really weird. All right, Chris, are you ready to get into the first episode of X-Files? Or do we have anything else we need to discuss? Let's dive in. Okay. I love the disclaimer here right off the top. This following story is inspired by actual documented accounts. Oh, cool. Perfect. The reason that this amuses me is because of the words documented account.

um not saying that it's true at all just that somebody somewhere wrote it down and i really that really cracks me up like i don't it's you know somebody somewhere interviewed a crazy person and we and we we read that and it was like let's make a story out of it yeah yeah perfect um that's that's what uh that's what ufo conspiracy is all about it's just documented quote-unquote accounts yes Absolutely. We're going to start off in the woods where a young woman is stumbling through the dark.

She kind of stumbles and she's running through the woods. We see this bright light. windstorm picks up um a man walks towards her and they're surrounded in this whirlwind as he turns to this negative space color and light fills the screen and then we we cut And we realized we were in Column National Forest in northwest Oregon, where this young woman is now dead, being looked at by the police. Interestingly, she has two dots on her lower back.

And I would have sworn this dude was the sheriff for the most of this episode, but he is listed as just Detective Miles. Detective Miles recognizes this as a... is karen swenson um who is a who was a classmate of his sons um and as he walks off one of the like corner guys are like is that the class of 89 is it happening again And so we get the idea like some weird shit is happening. It's happening again is such a great hook for really anything. This is an incredibly dense.

opening in an incredibly dense pilot but they are just they've packed in a lot here they do they do and it's remarkable how much it reminds me of twin peaks nowadays i don't think i don't think i picked that up back in 1993 but here in 2023 chris i'm picking it up Yeah, definitely from the same era, obviously, David Duchovny's in both. So, great crossover there.

um but yeah we we cut from this is our cold open this is we've been introduced to to this i mean it looks like an alien abduction to me but i don't know something unexplainable as a viewer in 1993 you're sitting down thinking well That sure seems like an alien to me. Yep. Gotta be aliens. And then we are back over at the FBI headquarters.

in washington dc um agent dana scully has arrived i thought this at first was like her first day at work but no she has been in the fbi for two years i believe um but she has just been kind of called over on assignment

um to the pentagon um which i believe is where they are they're they're at fbi headquarters um we're gonna find out that at the pentagon one of the dudes later is working at the pentagon we're gonna find that at the end of the episode so they're not i don't think the fbi works at the pentagon

I will say most of my knowledge about the Pentagon is strictly from Mission Impossible 1, where they break into it. Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Could be wrong. Take or leave that information, yeah. But yeah, so she's arising her first day. She's here for like a semi interview sort of to like figure out like, hey, this is why we asked you to come in here. And now this is what we want you to do. So she goes into this office.

Notably, you'll see the smoking man standing in the background of the scene, and he kind of just walks around, doesn't say anything. I guess a mild spoiler is that this figure, the smoking man, cigarette smoking man, whatever he's called, he shows up.

quite often in the x-files and from my understanding that was not planned from the beginning it was just they had this this actor who looked great smoking a cigarette he had this kind of ominous vibe about him so they thought let's keep bringing this guy back just like castiel Exactly. Yeah, so we learned about Agent Scully here. We learned that she went to medical school, but instead of becoming a traditional medical doctor, she pursued a career in the FBI as a way to distinguish herself.

Yes. And she certainly has. And now the conversation turns to, okay, this is why we brought you here. Have you ever heard of this guy named Fox Mulder? She says, yes, she knows him by reputation. um she does all the um the pilot info dumping that we need you know he went to he's oxford educated and he he wrote a uh a dissertation about serial killers and the occult and he's an at the top analyst in violent crimes unit

All this stuff. But he's also known as Spooky Mulder. Spooky Mulder. And they tell her, yeah, that's all right. And he has this Fox Mulder has become obsessed with something called the X-Files. It's essentially their files about unexplained phenomena. And they want... scully to go down and work with molder and essentially write reports on him and she figures out okay so you want me to go and work with this guy so that i can debunk his claim

you know he's got this entire uh department to himself it's a waste of money he's looking into things that maybe he should be looking into uh and we want you to go down there and we want you to you know see if there's anything legit going on here yeah

They're like, you know, we just want you to write about what's happening kind of thing. It's funny that they don't admit to it. And Scully isn't really commenting on that. But the second that she talks to Mulder about it, he's like, yeah, this is what they're doing. You're a part of this agenda. She leaves her division chief's office to go down to meet Mulder in this like basement kind of area. As she goes into the office, it's very clear up front that Mulder is kind of like this sarcastic.

um, go along to get along dude, but has a really intense persona. Um, so the very first thing that happens is she knocks and she's like nobody down here, but at the FBI is most unwanted. Um, And as she goes inside the office, she sees pictures and posters everywhere. There's the classic, I want to believe poster on the wall. There's all of these like weird pictures that I think we've come to now to associate with like alien abductions. And at the time just felt like.

a bunch of weird pictures of weird stuff happening, right? You couldn't just Google stuff back then. Google didn't exist in 1993. Whether this stuff is real or it was just made for the show, it's still... imagine that there is a novelty to like being able to see this stuff and there's a novelty to somebody who has access to that stuff um there's an interest there and i think that the way

these two are presented to each other and to the audience is really really great i feel like we get such a good sense of who these two are in these first just handful of conversations Absolutely. And because you kind of expect him... With a little bit of the, you know, kind of the handsome man, handsome young man working for the FBI, super smart. You kind of expect him to be like a little unprepared.

But very quickly, we realized he has researched a lot about Dana Scully. He's even read her senior thesis on Einstein. And he compliments her, saying it's pretty bold work to rewrite some of Einstein's theories. And he actually read the whole thing. And he, as you mentioned, kind of says like, oh, I know what you're here to do, but what I really want you to do is give me your opinion on this. And he shuts off the light, opens up a projector.

One of the things I'm going to keep commenting on as we go in this podcast, because of the year this came out, because of how old it is, is how much I love the nineties technology. Like there's no, there's no cell phones. Like they're not opening up a computer laptop and like, there's no. You don't have like the CSI 18 screens on the wall kind of thing. Like he's literally opening up a chunky projector and putting a slide in it.

I love all of this stuff. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. And it's just there's something I mean, the tactile nature of this type of technology always kind of has a charm to it.

certainly at the time it wasn't very charming it was just reality but looking back now i don't know what it just adds this weight to everything that they're doing here um and yeah he just immediately i don't know there's something about the way that he dives straight in obviously he's passionate about what he's researching, intensely passionate about what he's researching.

He also is aware that everybody thinks that what he's researching is a little bit ridiculous. But there's just something about, I think he kind of immediately has a respect for Scully. He did research on her. He read her thesis.

And he has a respect for her. But the way that he just presents things is interesting. He's like, okay, well, I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm just going to show you this. I don't have an explanation for this. I think it's strange. And I want us to look into this. And he immediately asked her, can you ID these marks? And so she's like, well, and she kind of goes into her analysis mode. And I think one of the things that really struck me about this is that...

Throughout the episode, a lot of the science jargon stuff never really felt like jargon. It didn't feel like people... Just pulling shit out of the minute out of midair to, to write this stuff. Like it actually felt like there was some, like they, they did some work on writing some of the dialogues that she's like, well, this could be like an animal bite or it could be this or that. And she's, he shows her some chemistry slides.

which confuse her because she doesn't really know what it is which is unusual and he's like this is what's found you know around these victims which has shown up in multiple places um and You know, he took on this case because the FBI didn't want to investigate it. And he kind of even makes a joke as she's like, well, this has got to be something. And he's like, do you believe in extraterrestrials? Like he kind of says it in a very sarcastic slant.

Scully just says like, hey, I believe in that science can explain most things. Like if, and Mulders kind of counteracts that. Well, if science can't explain everything or if we're unable to explain. everything with science can't we explain it with fantastic reasons instead and of course scully is very much in the you know there's nothing beyond science we just need to know where to look uh and molder responds to that with a very funny that's why they put the i in fbi

Very good stuff. This initial meetup, like you said, like really just absolutely tells you exactly who these characters are, how they're going to interact with each other, the weird tension, but also like the mutual respect they have from one another. All very good.

I think like when we think about the X-Files, you know, I hadn't watched it in a long time prior to doing the podcast and you sort of get this idea in your head like, yeah, there's this sort of will they won't be attention maybe, but there's also the just like extremely black and white. difference of opinion on everything where he's always saying it's aliens and she's always saying no it's not science but i think that there is a a

There's more going on to it. There's more nuance to the way that they're both looking at things here that makes for really interesting dynamic with them. And she is always willing to hear him out in a way that...

It removes some of that sort of confrontation. But I also think that there's this sort of like playful debate about a lot of the stuff that they look into. They're both extremely smart people, very friendly with one another. And there is almost this debate of ideas of like, okay, let's...

Who can come up with a better hypothesis of what's going on here? And I know things change as time goes on a little bit, but Mulder isn't always just throwing out a ridiculous theory and then expecting her to roll with it. Especially not in this first episode. Like, yes! He is saying some things that seem totally illogical, but he is trying to ground them in reality. And for Scully's part, she is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and be like, okay, well, let's.

Let's pursue that idea and look for evidence for those ideas while also doing a good job of counteracting everything. It's probably something we should mention too for those that are not familiar with the show. One of the reasons that this whole series kind of struck a chord with us and that we thought would be good to record is because it shares something with Merlin and Supernatural. We're going to see these quote unquote monster of the week episodes. And then we're going to have.

this kind of overarching plot that's going to last for years and years and years and through the movies and everything like that. And we'll talk a little bit more of that as we get to it because we're going to have the first seeds of that developed in this episode. But that's one of the reasons that I'm drawn to doing this because I'm really curious. how all of that stuff holds up after it's been so long.

They jump on a plane to head to Oregon. The most notable thing here is that Scully is doing her homework. and sees Dr. Newman's name on some of the autopsies that were done on several of the victims.

four victims four victims this is the fourth victim the first three had the same person uh as the medical examiner and now this this fourth one had somebody different and now they finally caught wind of this story on a broader scale i think molder was already kind of aware of what was going on but This is now it's really become come to their attention.

And also there's turbulence for some reason here and Mulder is totally relaxed and doesn't care at all. This must be the place. I love it. They drive out to this cute... uh you know northwestern town um in their in their shitty little rental car uh and scully kind of asked about the previous investigation uh and finds out that

Mulder already knew that the FBI had investigated this and didn't make it very far. And Scully points out... exactly that like oh these first victims that there was no marks mentioned any of the reports but this last one there is and this one doctor didn't do it and it's right then that something weird starts to happen the radio in the car starts kind of bugging out. The volume goes up. Yeah, it's got too many sunflower seeds jammed into it. I hope the sunflower seed isn't up.

I don't remember it being a consistent thing throughout all the episodes. I can't remember if it's a bit or not that he does, but I... It just drives me up the wall seeing him throw out his fucking sunflower seeds every 10 minutes. He thinks he's in the dugout, dude. Like, what are you doing, my man? Like, this is a graveyard. Like, don't just throw your...

seeds on the ground tossing them everywhere so gross uh but yeah he this the truck starts going a little or excuse me the car starts going a little haywire so he pulls over runs to the trunk uh moves some suitcases around grabs a spray can and marks the road with a big And Scully is like, what are you doing, my dude? He's very serious about this. Don't worry about it at all. They drive right up to the graveyard. They also talk about how Mulder is exhuming the previous body.

the bodies of the previous victims, excuse me, to see what they can find. They pull up. to the graveyard they meet the coroner's office people but then immediately they're approached by dr newman uh or nemen uh excuse me i can't read his name without saying newman for some reason yeah it's tough it's tough to remember um all these names when obviously we're taking notes and everything but you know

Like, you know, it's not going to matter. We've been through this so many times in so many shows where we take extensive notes on things that absolutely don't matter and never get mentioned again. So you never really know. Like, should I learn how to pronounce his name? Probably not. Dr. Nedman is very defensive. He's like, you can't believe you people can just come in here and do this. Meanwhile, his daughter is begging him to go back in the truck and please just come home.

and he's like what are you accusing me of and they're like i feel like at first almost like we're totally not accusing you of anything like chill out man and then he gets even more mad and now they're like okay obviously obviously you did something fucked up one of the things that i love about uh this show but also just like shows about our media about the fbi in general is like everybody in the world agrees that most fbi people are absolute dickheads

And you see that like, cause they are like the FBI as a organization has always been like, we're going to pick the smartest, the most athletic people to be in our organization. So like, there's that like chip on their shoulder of like. We have proven ourselves to be above the general masses. And now we have been selected by the government to enforce these laws above anything, you know, local or whatever.

And the way that's presented here is Dr. Nimmin like kind of being like, well, if you're, if you're making. you know, if you're going to make allegations and Scully being like, we're not making any allegations at all. We're not alleging anything. Like they're both just like very kind of condescending. And I just like that a whole lot. Like I like, I like the fact that they're dicks a whole lot.

This scene proceeds to go as well as everything else has gone so far. Yeah, we get some information about the third victim, which doesn't really matter that much to the overall story. But the big thing that happens is that as they're lifting the coffin... out of the grave, it comes loose and the coffin stumbles like it's a fucking, I think you should leave skit down the hill into a gravestone and pops open and revealing this extremely strange chord.

yeah one of those other dude the dudes there being like this isn't protocol and world was like yeah no fucking no shit it's not protocol uh this is a very weird body this is like the classic like little little gray man kind of thing this is like an super weird body um Horrible incident just occurred where a grave, a coffin... fell down a hill smashed into another grave popped open like this is this is disturbing on so many levels and inappropriate on so many levels

And then Mulder makes a joke about this dude being short, not being able to play on the basketball team. And you're just like, Mulder. First of all, you just spit sunflower seeds into the coffin. Second of all, enough with the jokes, man. Not the time and place, man. Not the time and place at all. We skip to the lab, for lack of a better word. Mulder is obviously extremely excited about this corpse. He immediately jumps to the conclusion that it's extraterrestrial in origin.

He's taking pictures with a very old school camera with a gigantic flash on it, which is annoying. Scully, who was in her lab coat doing fucking... Scully was like, Mulder, you can't assume anybody who's weird looking is an alien. That's not how science works. We don't do that. I know you're an English major guy, but I'm science girl, so I need you to understand my science.

Scully just immediately identifies that it's definitely not human and says that it could be mammalian, maybe some sort of orangutan. uh and molder is molder is like mood for like 1.1 second when she says it's not human and he just starts to glow and then she's like i think it's an orangutan and he's like oh fuck i thought i had her um

He orders a full battery of tests and x-rays. And Scully is like, I don't know why you would do that. Like, this is obviously like some sort of sick joke. And then as they like are, they don't even get to the bickering stage, but like you could tell like. But Scully, the source of the tension is, as you mentioned this earlier, Mulder wanting to jump to the conclusion and Scully wanting to document every step to the conclusion, right? And...

before they can even really get too far down that path, Mulder just looks at her and is like, hey, I'm not crazy. I have the same doubts you do. Like, he wants to prove it as well. He just thinks that they're working towards a goal. I think that this is an important line for him, however much he even means it. But it's sort of, it's like, I have my same doubts. I don't assume everyone I encounter is an alien. However... I need to pursue this.

As if every lead is an alien or every lead is something strange. Every lead could bring me where I'm trying to go. I have to treat everything that way or I will never get there. But please understand that I also doubt this stuff as well. We leave it from here and then jump to later that night where Scully is listening to her notes from the previous day or listening to her notes from that day and writing it.

We're kind of introduced to this idea that when they did an x-ray, they found this weird metal tube in this thing's nose. And they extracted it. So she had... Mulder knocks on the door he's so pent up and so excited about these discoveries that he's like I gotta go run this off which is exactly how you know all FBI people are dickheads because like he's like I've gotta go take a run in the middle of the night like who does that We don't. Who does that? Dickheads. Yeah, yeah, dickheads do that.

And if you're, you know, a marathon runner or whatever, listening to this on your marathon run, like you're doing 12K right now, dickhead. I'm just going to say it. Just dickhead. Sorry. You're fast, fast athletic dickhead. Take off all those weird stickers in the back of your car. Nobody cares. I love that. she scully is like absolutely not going with you dickhead um i'm far too tired to be worried about any of this right now so she's like he's like okay bye whatever heads out

But I like that she does not actually go to bed. She is way more invested in this than she's letting on. Yeah, the line she uses is like, he's like, you know, because he's excited about what they found. And she says, oh, I'm, you know. I'm excited too. I'm just not losing any sleep about it. But then she goes and sits down and immediately like loses sleep about it. Like she's staring at this thing, wondering what the fuck.

Because it may not be aliens, but it's a puzzle that she hasn't been able to solve yet. It's not aliens, but it's something fucking weird. I'm not willing to say that it's aliens, but it's something fucking weird. The third victim, a guy named Ray, was... This is the body that they exhumed. Correct. He had some mental issues, so he went to this site. ward or psychiatrist center. So they go to talk to his doctor. Who confirms like, oh yeah, Ray Soames, yeah, he was an orangutan.

Oh yeah, totally had a regga-tang body. Like he was just, I don't know. We treated him like anybody else because that's the kind of town we are. Did you guys not look at the x-rays? Like it's pretty clear. Agent Mulder. Yeah, I thought it was. It was pretty obvious that he was an orangutan. He was just an orangutan. He was just a really smart...

Have you guys not seen any movies with orangutans? They're really smart now. They have a bunch of really nice photos from him and his time getting treatment with the nurses. He's sitting in the garden.

but he's just an orangutan attack yeah that metal thing oh yeah so we could find him in case he wandered off like we just needed to like that's that's a gps signal even though it's 1993 we don't quite have that yet but um but no but really so they talked to him and um He was being treated for schizophrenia and there was a bunch of things that just sort of like developed after what we later find out was one incident.

But Mulder and Scully are just trying to find some connection between all of these victims. They were all in the same graduating class, which is already a connection, but there's got to be something more going on here. And the doctor here reveals that, oh, I'm actually treating two more people from that same graduating class, Billy Miles and Peggy O'Dell. They've been here for four years.

And they pretty much, they live here. They are permanent residents here. So, of course, Mulder and Scully want to go and talk to them. Yep. Uh, there's a Billy Myers, um, who is in some sort of a waking coma. And then there's a Peggy who we see, they say that they were both involved in some sort of car accidents. Peggy is reading to Billy as they comes in and has. Mulder just promptly interrupts what she's doing. She says, oh no, Billy wants me to read to him right now.

And Mulder has a little bit more conversation and then kind of pulls back and asks the main doctor, hey, can we do just a cursory medical exam for these two? And then Peggy begins to lose her fucking mind. She kind of throws herself out. of the wheelchair that she's sitting in. She begins tearing at her face. I don't know if she just like opens her face with her fingernails or if she like pulls out a tooth, like, but her, her hands come back bloody. Her face is bloody after she does it.

And during this like kerfuffle, Mulder and Scully both spot that she has two dots on the back of her, on her lower back, just like the previous victim. And you love to see that Mulder and Scully, they just start sharing a glance. I love when the two main leads share a glance. Oh, I love it, dude. It's so good. But Scully is a little mad at this. So she kind of marches out.

And tell us Mulder. She's mad at Mulder for hiding information from her. Because how did you know that you were going to find that on the back? And I want the truth. You have to tell me the truth. And Mulder lays out his theory. I think almost every episode we can take a shot when this happens, which is...

his theories are just so far off the fucking beaten path that they either they're true or they're, he's just a ridiculous person. And here he believes that they were all abducted. Um, and that like all of these kids were abducted. And when she's like, I'm just not willing to go that far with you. He's like, well, there's got to be an explanation. She's like, yeah, of course there does.

I'm just not willing to commit to aliens right now. Can we just go through and eliminate a lot of other stuff? It's a big commitment early on. I'm not ready to jump to that. I think she says she wants to know what those kids were doing out in the forest, which I feel like that's a very... That's the next step in the investigation. Like they need to fucking investigate. Let's not just assume it was aliens. Let's just go and do some research.

So that night they go, we immediately find out that Mulder's compass is all jacked up. It's not working. Sign number fucking one that like weird shit is about. Scully finds like some dirt and is like, I'm going to keep this dirt. And then they both begin to hear these weird noises and it's played up for obviously like spook.

But it just turns out that this is Detective Miles. We see like these bright lights, which end up being his truck lights. We hear these weird mechanical noises, which are his terribly tuned. bronco four-wheel drive um and there the detective appears with a shotgun and threatens to arrest both of them for trespassing And it's kind of a tense moment and they both just kind of back down and they both get in their vehicles and then they drive away. On the way back, it's like storming like crazy.

detective doing out there that doesn't make any sense scully's like look at my dirt isn't it cool dirt and he's like oh man you're a dirt chick you got a pocket full of dirt you got a pocket full of dirt that's some like hunter stuff and she's like what's a hunter in this context and he's like never mind i don't have time to get into this Um, she thinks that the kids are involved in some sort of cult and sacrifice thing, which frankly I do.

at this point. I think that's a much more likely thing. That's a more reasonable conclusion to jump to than extraterrestrials. As they're driving along, Mulder's seeing his compass is getting a little whacked out. And he keeps kind of checking the compass, checking the time, checking his watch.

And then suddenly as they're driving along, they're hit with this blinding white light and the car comes to a complete stop. They've lost power and Mulder very quickly realizes they've also lost nine minutes. It was, what, 9.03 when he last checked his watch, the blinding light hits, then it's 9.12. And he gets out of the car in the pouring rain and just cheers.

He's so excited about this. He's so excited because we just experienced something. And then he runs forward and he realizes... that the X he spray painted earlier in the day or the day before is on the pavement right ahead of where they were. And then he starts going off about how abductees have reported time loss. This fits the bill of an alien abduction. This is something that we've seen before. And then the car just starts back up again. It's like whatever just happened is over now.

And this is all like really, really good. Like this is all very mysterious and like draws you in, right? Like I love this. I love the idea of this because... Even though all of Mulder's claims up to this point are pretty fucking ridiculous, at the very least, like some weird shit is happening. So we're going to need an explanation for that.

We skip over to them getting back to the hotel. Scully goes into her room and she begins to write her report on basically what her boss asked her to do, right? Like her take on everything that Mulder is doing. And it sounds pretty negative. Like she can't validate any of these theories or any of these ideas. Like there's no scientific basis for it. In the middle of this, the power cuts out. So she decides that it's time to just like most normal people do.

light a candle and take a bath because I guess I guess everybody has gas, hot water heaters up there. That's probably a thing. I expected like when she started taking off the robe, I was like, oh man, they're going to do like the super like sexy thing. But instead it's just like, oh, I'm going to take off the robe like a normal person. But she spots something weird.

And it causes her to run over to Mulder's room where she also has to take off a robe. And she's like, look at my back. And he like drops down and gets super close to her back. where he sees two of these weird spots. Of course, he's all freaked out because everybody so far that we've seen that have these two spots are either dead or in extremely impaired circumstances. But no, it's just mosquito bites.

and she's so like relieved to hear this that she turns around and hugs him and then immediately like gains control of herself right like presents herself as like the cool smart distant FBI agent that she has presented herself to be this whole time

obviously like will they won't they between scholar moldy was molder is a huge thing or was a huge thing during the series i don't remember if they ever commit to it or if they like really really tease it during the show i will say like for me personally i presented as in this first episode i like them as colleagues more than i like them as romantic partners right now and maybe that'll change over maybe this will be another situation where we're like what's shipping

And turn out to be like major Dusty L fans. But for now, the implied like... it's not even really implied, but I feel like they're trying to like hint it. Like there could be a romantic attraction between the two of them. And I just, I just prefer them to be. I think they're all just sort of, they're putting everything on the table. I know that Chris Carter had said that he believes that the romantic couples, the will they won't they buy.

Having them get together too soon will ruin your show. So I think it's always just sort of like maybe a question mark. in in the back of people's heads and maybe that's why it was so popular was because like they would hint at it every once in a while but then for the rest of the time it's like they just have this really great relationship as colleagues. But I think any great relationship on TV...

What if they loved each other? What if it was more, you know, and I think that's just natural. I've come to understand that's just very natural to. to see when you love two characters on screen. But yeah, you know, this scene definitely just seems like they just wanted to just put the idea out there, just putting the idea out there a little bit, but they don't do anything big with it. I think it's still very... I don't even think, like, if you look at the two actors...

I don't think that there's like much, like there's not, it doesn't feel like there's much of a spark between them. I feel like this was the first big thing that either one of them were involved in. I know they both had a history of doing movies and TV shows before this, but this was the first. brought them to probably like 13 year olds in Louisiana's attention, if that makes sense. And I just, I feel like this is.

As good as they both are, they both play it as colleagues throughout all of this. It's an interesting thing to talk about as we move through the show. I feel like it's going to be interesting to watch and see how that... This ends up with... I think with this scene, really what it did, it allows them both to let their guard down because it's this vulnerable moment. It's more vulnerable for Scully, obviously, but I think...

Mulder having to take that moment to drop everything and just reassure her no no no no you're okay you're okay he knows she's getting caught up in all of this and he knows that it's a lot and I think it lets them both let their guard down so then they have this conversation Yep. And which is great. So that because what happens is Mulder gets her a blanket. She relaxes on the bed and he sits on the bed and tells her kind of his origin story.

So when he was 12 years old and his sister was eight, when she just absolutely disappeared, the fallout from that was devastating to his family with no actual facts about what could have happened. They had no hope of her ever returning. It tore apart his family. He eventually left to go to school in England, got recruited by the FBI, and was so successful that he was given the leeway to kind of pursue his own projects, which is how he came to find the X-Files.

And when he read this and when he started reading about the unknown and the paranormal and the occult and all of this other stuff, he was fascinated by it. And he realized very quickly, though, that there was material, classified material, that he wasn't able to get his hands on. And he specifically says that... somebody out there is preventing me from doing so. And the only reason that I have the position that I have now is because I have contacts and con.

um in my head as a if you would ask me this if i'd heard this line like a year ago i've been like contacts in congress like you know a fucking congressman um but a weird thing that happened to me recently where uh I happen to like have met. in my professional life, like a couple of state representatives. and they're just like normal people and so i'm like oh

So Molly just, like, has a guy. Like, it's just a phone call. Molly just knows a guy, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And, like, I had a competitor call, like, a senator to try to, like, get me out of something. Like, I had, like, the government called on me for something. And I'm like, oh, so you just have a guy. So I really like the idea that he has Mulder's got guys. Mulder's got guys in Congress. I just was curious. So I just looked it up. Mulder's 31 in season one and Scully is 29. Okay.

So that makes sense given the amount of education and experience that they have. Because I was just thinking like, wow, he's accomplished so much. How old is he? Yeah. He finished this with saying that like all of these people are now trying to discredit him as opposed to just directly take him away from it. And that Scully is part of it.

because that's what she's been basically hired to do. And she insists like, oh, I'm not really part of any agenda. And then he leans in and he's like, let me tell you about my work with Dr. He's been hypnotizing me and using past life regression to bring me back to the night my sister disappeared. And I remember seeing a bright light. I was frozen. I didn't have to move. He believes the government is somehow tied up in his sister's disappearance.

and is hiding that information from him. And he's this experience, this corpse that they found in this. possible extraterrestrial influence on this group of children is the closest he's ever been to finding out any more information. And that's going to be our... Spoilers on this show are going to be a little weird because Chris and I both haven't actually finished anything.

But at the same time, I think everybody knows like, oh, this is the X-Files. Like he's looking for his sister. Like this is going to be the thing that pulls him through most of the story for all time, right? Like this is going to go on for a long time. Yeah. And this is the first time that we are seeing him kind of lose his cool a little bit. Not that he's like emotional.

But just as the same as he's kind of let his guard down to tell this story, you see that there's a lot more passion behind this. He's dropped that cool guy act and he's just speaking from the heart. So you know. Whatever ridiculous rabbit hole he might be taking them down on any given episode, this is the heart of it. There is a passion and a real... need for answers at the heart of all of this. He's not just like... interested in like, you know.

a studious way like it's not a it's not a thought experiment for him he's not just trying to find the secrets of the universe because it interests him it's you know this is the human heart beating at the center of all of this for him absolutely Just then to interrupt all of this introspective and passionate. Outpour is a phone call with someone who won't identify themselves saying that Peggy is dead. Peggy being the woman that was at the psychiatric hospital.

They drive to the crime scene and it turns out that Peggy, who we've only seen in a wheelchair, ran into the road on foot in front of this truck driver. And Scully is, you know, analyzing the body, taking a look at the body and realizing that her watch stopped at 9.03, exactly the same time that they had their kind of lost time experience.

A lot of stuff starts to happen very quickly from here. Mulder gets another phone call. Turns out someone broke into the lab, stole all their research, stole the body. As they go back to their hotel room, they arrive to find the hotel rooms are on fire with all of the x-rays and all of the pictures. All of the evidence that they have collected is gone. And of course, you know, both of these people are reacting exactly the way that you might have.

who was after us. You know, what better confirmation that you're kind of on the right track than to have all of the evidence destroyed. Exactly, yeah. That's how you know you do a good podcast when people call in to complain about your quote-unquote wokeness. Same thing. As they watch all this stuff burn, Teresa Nimmin appears. We saw Teresa very early on in the episode. Yeah, she's the medical examiner's daughter. Correct. She's obviously distraught, asking for protection.

They take her to a diner where she says that she has the barks. She's worried that she's going to be killed, just like all of her classmates. She finds herself from time to time just in the woods with no memories on how to be there. And as she's kind of relaying all this information, they realize that both Detective Miles and Dr. Nimmin know something about this. Uh, and her nose begins to bleed. And then those two walk in and are like, we're getting my daughter and we're getting the fuck.

And they put her in the truck and leave. And this is when Scully, kind of against her character that we've seen so far, begins to be very passionate and says, like, they know what's happening. They're covering it up. Like, they can't...

Like, they're destroying all of this evidence. They're hiding all of this stuff from us. There's crimes happening here, and we have to solve them, and they're preventing us from doing so. Which, again, the FBI's whole thing is solving crimes that the locals can't solve, right? I mean, that's not their whole thing.

I think there's like some fucking money stuff in there somewhere. But for our purposes, they're solving crimes. That's what they're here to do. The injustice is like lighting a fire underneath her. And yeah, it's sort of a break from character. And I think it's that same thing. They both had this vulnerable moment together where they let their guard down. And now it's like...

their emotions are coming out. And I think it's such an interesting examination of these two. In just this first pilot episode, we're introduced to them a certain way, and they're already showing us different sides of these characters. And I think this is a very well done pilot.

absolutely yeah this is this is allowing us to see a bunch of different sides of our characters right like and also presenting us with the the main like overall series hook and a great like kind of monster of the week situation too they decide like, oh, we need to go check out these other two bodies.

Yeah, they had those other two, or the corpse that they had exhumed previously might have been stolen or destroyed, but we have two other graves we can go dig up. And they arrive at the graveyard to find that the graves are already dug up and empty. And Mulder presents his theory that this was Billy Miles somehow controlling the whole thing. This is like the third time that they refer to him as a vegetable, which is a bummer.

Um, but Scully is basically saying like, how could, how could that possibly be true? He's in a waking coma and he's like, oh, I think something is controlling time and something took over these kids and are luring them into the, into the woods to do some sort of test on them. And she tells them about, she tells Molly, Molly, Jesus Christ, Mulder about Peggy's watch, about it being broken at the same time.

they lost time. And he got that to him. That confirms his theory that there's some entity in the forest controlling these kids, making them do these tests. And Scully begins to almost like.

scream and cry with laughter at the same time um yeah it's like she's just like i she's given up completely on trying to even make sense of any of this it's just like it's it's an interesting moment for her and this it goes back to the moment that they had in molder's office right where he said you know if you eliminate all possible scientific reasons for something like we have to rely on the fantastic and that's what she's seeing at this moment like

All of this stuff is happening and it seems fantastic, but it also seems to be the only explanation. They go see Billy Miles in the hospital. The nurse there says that he never moves. He hasn't moved in a long time. She's the one that sees after him. Scully looks at Billy's feet, though, and finds a sample of the dirt that... she found in the woods that night, which of course was burnt up. So they don't actually have that anymore. So they, as they're leaving the hospital, Molly says,

I said Mully again. What the fuck? I even wrote Mully. That's how bad this is. It'll take a little time. It'll take a little time. Mulder says to her, are you sure that you want to write this in your report?

Like, yeah, it's okay. I thought this was really interesting. Me too. Yeah. Like, it's okay for me to say this stuff. I'm already known as a crazy person. Do you want to do more research? Do you want to have more evidence before you write this in your report and turn it in? And she's like, you know what I do? Let's go.

I like that he's like, check yourself. Like, do you really want to throw away your reputation just because you're caught up in the moment with me? Just because you're caught up in my theory. And yeah, and I think it's... this respect for each other here where it's like okay all right because she's already come over to his side

So now he's doing her the benefit of the doubt of, okay, well, let me come over to your side. I'm happy that you are on the same page with me. But also, you have to understand the way that people look at me and the things that I say. And I don't want you to... ruin your reputation because of me so i need to stick to you to what is true to you and she's like okay you're right yeah so uh they go into the form The detective's truck is already there. They hear screams in the woods.

They run into the forest. Scully and Mulder are both like separated pretty quickly. The detective shows up and threatens Scully with a gun. Mulder gets closer to the screening and the detective shows up and pulls the gun on him as well. And that's when Mulder realizes like, oh, you've known this was your son. Like you've been covering this up the entire time.

But the detective demands that Mulder lay down on the ground, and then he runs off. And then we finally see Billy in the middle of the whirlwind that we saw in the cold open, holding to... um obviously like filled with this bright terrible light all of these leaves are rustling around it and as detective miles is like billy stop you have to stop this and he aims the gun at his son Mulder tackles him before he can shoot Bill.

And as Billy turns around and lifts Teresa up, we see that Billy also has these two dots. so the idea that billy is maybe controlling this is probably out the window if he's also being you know quote unquote tested or whatever He lifts Teresa up. He looks up into the sky. This bright light flashes everywhere. The whole area is whited out. And then as things start to come back into focus, the wind is gone. The lights are gone.

It's just Billy standing there. Teresa is on the ground alive. And for the first time we hear Billy speak like Billy seems normal. All right. Well, let me, let me not say normal. Let me correct my language on that. He seems like. able to speak and he seems aware of his surroundings in a way that he didn't seem when he was in this quote this part of him that you know has been gone for four years has seemingly returned out of nowhere um and teresa also seems fine

which is unusual, and neither one of them have the marks anymore. So what the fuck is going on, Chris? I don't know what is happening right now. I think we're going to have to get used to saying what the fuck is going on a lot, but... Billy explains this a little bit more after the fact we'll get to it in a second here but yeah the marks are gone Scully is like what the hell happened she only saw the light but she wasn't up close enough to see anything else that took place

And Mulder just tells her that it was incredible. And I think she's still kind of getting wrapped up in all of this, which we'll come back to in a minute. But we cut over to Billy. He's being interviewed about the light, about everything that happened. And he explains that him and his friends were at a party to celebrate graduation. This was four years ago. And the light came. And it took him away to do tests on him. And then it gave him orders.

to gather the others, his friends who were at this party, to gather them up for more tests. on all of them. They put something in Billy's head and they said, you know, hey, wait, wait for your order. And then he goes on to explain that something went wrong. The tests didn't work.

And they wanted everything destroyed. I think the aliens in this, if I'm interpreting this right, the aliens wanted the evidence of all their tests destroyed. Whether that means that they were going to... uh take the victims back up and remove the metal rod or whatever that was in their nose and then bring them back but they just kept dying every time it happened or if their intention was just to kill them and just dispose of them whatever

But yes, that is what he says happened here. And he is still afraid that they are going to come back. All of this is super interesting, right? Like, because it kind of, and as all of this is happening, as Billy is making these confessions, he's in this interrogation room with Mulder and with another man. On the other side of the reflective mirror is the division chief is also the smoking man who leans over.

whispers something in the chief's ear in front of Mulder. It's in front of Scully. Everybody is watching. And they're, you know, on the outside looking in, you're like, well, this all sounds extremely reasonable. Like this seems like obviously far-fetched, but like it explains the things that happen in this situation.

But, you know, there's so many questions that you have here, which is, like, why did they change their mind? Like, if they wanted to clean up everything, why did they allow Billy and Teresa to live? If they're removing the metal rod, like, is that why Teresa's nose started bleeding in the diner? Or was that because she still had the metal rod in her? What really caused that? What caused the bodies to morph into alien-looking creatures? What changed the physiology?

of these corpses or why were these kids hanging out with an orangutan why were they hanging out with an orangutan It's not a Burt Reynolds movie in the 1970s. You can just not do that. It's the one mystery that no one explained. He could do a flashback to the party until these teenagers drink a beer in the woods and then just one orangutan with a sideways hat also drinking a beer. I... So I love the fact that they allow this dude to just lay it all out.

Because it adds so much to the mystery, right? Yeah, because he's immediately just sort of like not believe. and dismissed and then the you know the powers that be dismiss this story and then as scully gives her reports she's dismissed as well

So you're just left as the viewer. You want more. You want answers. You're like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Did something really happen there? Like, what's going on? You can't just sweep this all under the rug. And that's exactly what this episode is doing, which, again, it's such great setup. I love...

To an extent, being able to wonder and to ask why and to have more questions and to want to know more. As soon as you get all the answers, sometimes it kind of takes away from the fun of it. And that's what a lot of these episodes do a very good job of. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like the, something that's going to be fun in this podcast for both of us is the theory crafting that we're going to do about how it all ties in together. And it probably like, we'll probably come up with ideas that are.

much better than what the show absolutely you know ends up doing eventually we're going to have a lot more fun doing that than we will actually getting the answers and that's that's part of the fun about it like i think that That was part of the fun about watching lost episode to episode. And I think that's going to be part of the fun. We're doing this podcast where we don't absolutely know what happens with any of this.

We have a few more scenes that we got to get through. Scully is called back into the division chief's office and is basically like kind of challenged and like nothing in your report has any evidence based around it. Yeah, they don't go as far as to like ridicule her, but it's very much like this report is basically like... Nothing. None of this is credible. And the boss points out something that I think is a valid point, which is like... How would you prosecute any of these supposed crimes?

Like you don't have any evidence. You don't have any physical evidence linking any of these deaths to any one person or orangutan. Like we don't know anything. You mentioned orangutan 17 times in this report. But as far as I can tell, there wasn't one single orangutan.

in this small Oregon town of Belfort. She's just like, listen, I may have been getting a little confused in my notes. But And Scully did hold out one thing, and she brings it out of her pocket, and it's the metal tube that they removed from Rey's body. She had this in her pocket when they left so it wasn't burned down in the hotel room and it wasn't stolen away from the lab. And they ask her finally, as she turns over this piece of evidence, says, well, what about Agent Mulder?

and what does he believe and he says and she says he believes that we are And this time she passes the smoking man in the hallway and watches him like go into this office without knocking. And she seems suspicious. And I'm like, girl.

you you've seen him in every single office that you've been in this or in this building like i just assumed that you knew who he was because he but then it made me think like how crazy are they going is he invisible this is the first time that he's actually seen him but i don't know i'm probably getting a little too crazy on that one. I think that Scully had... an unshakable trust in the institution.

And I think, you know, this is a a the FBI is something that she has worked hard to be a part of. And she is a woman of science. She's incredibly logical and intelligent. And she respects. this again this institution and the people that she works for and this is the first time that something has challenged that respect i think yeah and so when she looks back over at the smoking man i kind of just think of it as

Her second guessing everything. And she did know to save that last piece of evidence. And she said, ha, well, gotcha on this one. But she still gives it to them. She doesn't have the suspicion yet to withhold it from them or to take it directly to somebody else. I think Mulder would. I think Mulder would.

not hand over something crucial like that because she still believes in the institution and she she's not fully convinced of moldier's conspiracy theories yet um but i yeah just i think all of this is interesting i think every interaction in this pilot is very strong Yeah, this is all very, very good. And we have one final scene, or excuse me, two final scenes where she...

kind of laid awake at night, unable to go to sleep in Mulder calls. Everything that they've done has been erased. There's no casework, no case file, no paperwork. Everything they filed is gone. And he's like, we got to get together to talk. And she's like, sure, let's do that tomorrow. So that's one way of like, okay, well, somebody is obviously interfering. Boulder is right. He may not be right that there's aliens like Scully. I'm kind of talking from Scully's perspective. Like he may not be.

believing in aliens may be too much of a stretch, but somebody is interfering in his work, which makes me think that it could be true, which again ties back into that, like shaking my view of this. otherwise pristine establishment in America.

Although if anybody does any research on the FBI, you're like, those guys are kind of thugs. In the fiction of the X-Files. In the fiction of the universe. Yeah, we don't have to get into actual stuff, but whatever. And then finally, there's this scene where the smoking man... He walks through this warehouse and he finds a specific shelf.

he brings out this like clear plastic box and he drops the vial with the metal rod in it. And in that same clear plastic box are four or five other vials that are numbered different. and he sticks it back on the shelf. He walks out. He closes the door to lock it, and it's revealed that they are in the center of the Pentagon, arguably the one that has all of the most secrets.

As I believed when I was a child, all of the secrets are in the center of the Pentagon because that makes sense. Yeah, it just makes it just logical at that point. um which and this is a hell of a like come back come back next week and find out more right like just this idea of this dude just walking through and we've seen this idea a bunch indiana jones has done this um just like all of these like the government holding secrets thing i think

And yeah, overall, it's like this episode could have made like a great novel, you know, like it's introduces us to the characters. We get into the small town. We pursue this story. And yes, it's left with a question mark at the end. But it's such I just I'm really impressed with how strong this pilot episode is. Me too. And to have, you know, so many orangutans on set for our pilot episode, I think is really, really the most impressive.

very good especially since i don't think they feature very heavily in the rest of the series no not a lot it's just this one episode it's really weird um yeah this is this was extremely good i'm very very happy that this show seems like it's going to hold up very well. I think it's going to be very, very fun to go through these episodes week by week, and I'm pretty excited to do it with you, Chris. Hell yeah. Right there with you. We got kind of distracted, so we didn't actually...

say the description of the episode or the title. The title is this pilot, but I do want to mention that this was originally written by Chris Carter. He was the creator of the show and then directed by Robert Mandel and it aired on September 10th, 1993. In future episodes, don't worry, I'll say that at the beginning of the episode. It's notable that it's written by Chris Carter because, again, he created this whole thing. This is his idea.

We are not the podcast that's going to delve like really into the mechanics of the show. There's other Xbox podcasts that are extremely good. They do a lot of that work. I think they've even had like guest appearances from people on the show. And Chris Carter has been on there to talk about creating it and things like that. But.

We are going to pull some of that in. So from episode to episode, I'm definitely going to be looking for fun facts about the show. And yeah, that's really about all we got for this week, I think, Chris. yeah uh thanks for checking us out if this is the first time you've ever heard us and thanks for returning if you've listened to our other shows and we'll be back next week we'll be back next week with more non-human biologics

I'm not recording my audio either, so good luck with this one. Since we're at the beginning of a new set of outtakes for a new podcast, I guess we have to say... For people who've never listened to this before, Jeremy and I just talk for like 35 minutes before we start talking about whatever our show is. We usually talk about our lives, typically video games, because you know.

So that's if you just finished listening to a podcast about the X-Files and you're here now thinking, why is there 45 minutes left of audio in this podcast? Well, that's because it's just a conversation. So stick around if you want. If not, that's your problem. Okay.

I think it's gotten better in the early days of monster of the week. Um, we would hide jokes about the podcast inside the outtake. So you'd have to listen to like, 30 minutes of Ico speedrunning chat to get to like a precious monster of the week like wolf fucking joke. first hour and a half of the podcast makes sense as soon as you heard the wolf fucking joke for the first time. But we've gotten better about that. We don't often come up with the bits inside the outtakes nowadays.

It's like even if you listen to the whole podcast, then you listen to the entire outtakes, and now you're like, oh, okay, I get the joke. like well you didn't get it 45 minutes ago when we made the joke and so that's just like that doesn't make any sense it's in order for us chronologically but not for the listener so it's just it doesn't make any sense for us to do that it doesn't at all it absolutely does not

Have you been, Chris? We haven't recorded with each other. We haven't recorded in quite a while. You know, it's... I think I missed recording. I think when I get really busy with work, and work has been the worst it's ever been for me in the last couple months, I think... When I'm busy, it makes it hard to be like, now I've got to go get on the microphone and talk. But I think I very much missed it. I think it's like a catharsis to be able to just goof around for an hour and a half after work.

So I've missed recording. How are you doing? I'm doing well. I've also missed recording. I think it's been right at like two and a half weeks or so. we're acting like it's been like two months yeah it will it will have been two weeks for the for the listeners out there uh because Let's see. This week, we're recording this in early September. This probably won't come out until middle October, late October.

So for the listeners, we've got, let's see, one episode coming out this week, another episode coming out next week. It'll have been a month since they've heard us. We're going to take a while off. Yeah. So it does seem like it's been a long time because it will have been a long time because the English language is great about recording podcasts. Anyway, I've also missed recording was my point. Yeah.

I don't like, I think because we do it just about every single week, if not twice a week that it becomes such a, such a rhythm to my life that like, it's, it's very much like that thing when you travel out of town and you realize like you look around you like something's missing it was like oh yeah like it's the pillows are different right like yeah bed that's something something i've been saying this my pillows have been different and by pillows

I mean, recording with Jeremy. Yes, your absolute pillow. I'm missing my pillows. I'm going to get you that for your birthday this year. I'm going to get you a pillow, one of those body pillows with just my... Perfect. Cartoon body. You want an anime body? Yeah, absolutely. Anime J is what you're going to be snuggling up to. Perfect. Yes. Perfect. Everybody loves anime.

I think the other reason I miss recording with you is because you're the only person I can talk to video games about with my voice. I can talk to anybody with my words, with my text. it's very rare that I get to talk about video games with anybody. And there's been, Chris, I don't know if you know this, a lot of video games lately. Games have been huge. I think the last time that we...

really spent a lot of time talking about games was final fantasy 16 which was like months ago at this point and by the time this comes out even the games we're playing now will be months old but it has been uh it's been intense obviously the hot ticket item for you and i has been armored core 6 um I finished it last night and...

By finishing, I just finished my first playthrough, and it's definitely a game that encourages a new game plus. You carry everything over. It's like, waste no time. Just like, let's get you back into it. And I loved it. It was incredibly fun. I will have to give it time. To see how I feel about it. But this is like a high ranking FromSoft game for me. I have very little history with this series. I played.

armored core 2 a couple months ago or whenever they announced this i went back i got the ps2 copy of it to play it a little bit didn't get too into it i played one of the other ones on playstation 2 when i was a teenager maybe never never super into the series um but this just that first mission you fight the tutorial boss and it's pretty tough

I had a lot of fun with that. It really helped me figure out how to play the game. And then I remember thinking over the next two or three missions, oh this game is uh this game's kind of boring outside of boss battles which i was totally wrong about because as i was just saying it's incredibly fun i think it just it gives you a minute to kind of like get into the groove of it um but it was the type of game where

even i'm even doing it now like i'm not playing it and my my brain and my like fingers are imagining like firing off all the missiles and like doing all like the actions of the video game uh it's

It's just stuck into my brain in that way. And it's stuck in my brain in a way where... I was fighting a particular boss and getting frustrated and kind of knowing that everybody's getting... stuck on this and this is the skill check boss you have to beat this if you want to be able to play the rest of the game But instead of really going further into frustration or having to take a break and walk away or anything, I just felt myself getting more excited.

amped up because i'm like wait all right i'm figuring this out i'm figuring this out which i i guess after practically 15 years of of playing the modern fromsoft model we're just used to it now like where we can hang with it a little bit better

But man, yeah, it was just a blast. I did not know how I would feel about this game. I'm not super into like... stats and like i mean the mech building aspect of it seemed like it would be really intimidating but it's not i feel like it's really approachable It's just like, what kind of booms and slashes and shots do you want to take? How fast do you want to be able to jump?

armor do you want to wear? It's so intuitive that it's just been really, really approachable and extremely fun. It feels like... because I did the same thing when they announced this game. I was like, okay, it's finally time. I've heard about these games the entire time I've been around Souls fans.

let me get into this so like i downloaded some roms and started emulating and like almost immediately you're like yeah there's something here right like there's something that's that's pretty good although i said this in the chat recently um but and i'll hold i'll stick to this like it felt way ahead of its time in terms of controls like it's just Like it needs that second stick so bad. Yeah. I mean.

using the R2 and the R1 to look up and down and everything. It's a really difficult game just to control. And it's really funny that there... like from software is known in their early days for armored core, which is like giant mech games. And then shadow tower, which is like explore fantasy world kind of games. And they have the exact same control schemes. Like it's, it's bonkers the way it works.

So I bounced off of them pretty hard. I played a few missions of each one that I could emulate and was like, okay, you know what? I see the attraction here. I'm just going to wait until the modern version of this comes out because I bet the modern version of this is going to be... so much my jam it's ridiculous and absolutely right like i am yeah

fully sucked in i'm at the end of chapter three i was just fighting the chapter three boss having like the bad the the coolest and baddest time of my life like i'm just having the most fun um all of the missions and stuff like there's a couple of missions at the beginning like you said where you're like Like, that's the mission. That's all I had to do? Yeah, yeah. That seems weird. And then as you play more and more, the game just grabs you and holds on tight and doesn't let you go.

I'm so fully wrapped up into the story right now. Like I love all of the personalities that are coming up and. Getting to read all of the stuff in the arena fights, like reading all of the little tidbits of information you get for the pilots, and then being able to meet those characters in the game at the same time and know a little history about them is fascinating.

I had a situation today where I beat somebody in the arena and then was given a mission to go kill that guy. So that was really fun. And like you said, all of the stat stuff is really interesting, right? This is the part of the game that I didn't think that I would like at all. And I find myself just endlessly fiddling with stuff. I'm like, oh, this generator. I fiddled between every mission and I repainted myself constantly, which I didn't expect to just be in those menus.

I started making some decals and some things like that. And you can just fall off into it, dude. If you go online, I mean... you can find every, like, you know, everybody is making everything for this thing. Like you can have literally anything on your Mac that you want to. And it's, it's just so much fun. Like I, it feels so much like a modern.

video game from the PS2 era. It's ridiculous. The mission-based structure... My favorite type of video game is a modern version of a PS2 game. It's very much that, and I really, really like it. I've seen people bounce off of it because I think the... The first two bosses, the tutorial boss and then like the first chapter one boss.

The tutorial boss is kind of mean just because it's trying to teach you something that it doesn't specifically say to you. And then they equip you with arguably the worst fucking parts in the game. I went back to, because you can replay the missions and earn like a rating on them and get extra money. And I went back and redid that one. And I'm like, I'm about to fucking smoke this dude because I've got all my cool shit. And that's one mission they do not let you do.

with your current loadout. You have to use that loadout, which I find fascinating. It's probably trivial if you are able to change your loadout. Absolutely, yeah. And then the first major boss, the Chapter 1 boss is... so intense and it's so over the top and it's just so frantic and great that like i and i still find myself talking to people online and being like oh yeah this this person equipped like

the giant fucking tank treads and giant weapons and just staggered them staggered the dude to death and i was like well i equipped like the skinniest like fastest legs i could with a super fast booster and dodged all around and just literally like ran through his shield and used my sword to fuck him up i had no ammo at the end of that fight i was i was sword only that's how i always am that's yeah i um i think that i

i i thought i had a really easy time of the game because i you know i struggled on that chapter one boss i think the chapter two boss right like the the um the spider thing yeah yeah i struggled a lot on that it took me like two hours to beat that um But other than that, I felt like I did okay. But then I'm looking at my play clock and it's like I beat it at roughly 30 hours. And it just seems like the standard play time was like 20 hours for everybody.

So I'm just like, what was I doing? And I think it's because I beat that chapter one boss using the sword. And so I thought, this is my ticket. I'm going to use the sword all the time now, which I did until I got to a random side mission in chapter four, I think, that I could not beat.

uh i played it for a couple hours on friday uh took it took the weekend off and then came back monday played it for i think another like hour and a half two hours before i finally beat it and that was only after i at last skinny, fast moving parts with some like laser turrets on my shoulders. So you could shoot these things up and then they would kind of snipe enemies all around you. And then I just used two shotguns. And that's what I used for the rest of the game until the very end.

And thankfully didn't run into any more sticking points. But I think the game definitely has like some OP weapons that you can find pretty early. I felt like this build was pretty OP. Like you get in something's face and you shoot it with shotguns and it's just the stagger builds up so fast. I feel like the laser stuff, like I use a laser rifle and a laser handgun as my two primaries and all of the like,

mobs and stuff are dead in two or three hits. And then for any kind of AC or HC fight, then I'm... I'm just using it to build up Stagger, and I finally got it set up so I can have these. vertical plasma missiles that chews through stagger. And then once they're staggered, I've got the giant fucking grenade launcher that just deletes their health bar. It's so fucking satisfying. And it feels really good when you get to those moments where you...

not just oh i just read about somebody using a build online and i'm gonna try that because i have tried that and it didn't work but when you find one on your own that you're like hell yeah this is how i like to play and it's kicking ass this feels good yeah and the the idea it's weird because um like in previous games you didn't have the ability to change your loadout uh like in between when you die right like you would have to start the whole mission over and that seems like

so counterintuitive to what they want you to do in the game. And I'm so glad they included this in the game so that you can. If you die and you're having trouble, like, okay, well I'm going to fucking remix my parts. Like what parts do I have that I can go through? And like, maybe I do need to be heavier or lighter, or maybe I need to be faster or slower with bigger weapons or whatever that is. Like just allow you to mix it up. And then also like.

just endlessly letting you do what you want to is so fun. Like it feels like all of the fun stuff about Dark Souls builds, but without like upgrades and all of this other stuff that like are so important. I can't wait. I can't wait to get into PVP. Like, I haven't done it yet, but just because I'm worried that I'm going to lose myself in it like I did with Dark Souls 1. But I think I'm going to get into PVP in a big way.

Could easily see that happening. I mean, all the arena fights are so fun. Every time I've tried to open up the PvP menu, it tells me that I'm not subscribed to... uh psn which i absolutely am extremely cool yes thank you um but whatever not really worried about it um yeah excellent game uh i think this was like the least hyped from soft game of modern memory because

They were doing the same Souls thing over and over and over again. And this, while having some DNA of that, is its own thing. Although I was surprised at how similar it felt. Like, I'm like, yeah, well...

They put a jump in Sekiro. They put a jump in Elden Ring. It's kind of the same. It's not the same. But once you've played all their games, you're kind of like, I got it. The stacker mechanic, I think, is very much... from Sekiro and it feels very much a part and parcel of what you were doing in Sekiro although I will say that the lack of defensive requirements to that is so much more enjoyable for me. Like, in Sekiro, like...

you were trading blows and you have to be like on the spot with your parries to be able to like not get staggered yourself. And here you also build up stagger, but it's much more easy to avoid like missiles than it is like a fucking grandpa with a sword and a gun. I think.

that that aspect of it of it is so much more approachable and it just feels so fun to dodge and like when you like it's so fun when you breeze by a missile that's flying by you and like that gives you an opening to attack an enemy head on or something like just a little every

the moment to moment of playing that video game is so much fun um which is you know that's a huge win because i didn't know what to expect yeah me too i was i was a little worried that i would like buy this as a modern day from soft fan and be like Maybe not. Like maybe this isn't my thing. I think I thought it would be, but, um, and I've, I've definitely, I'm playing a lot slower for, for various reasons than, than most people. Uh, but I'm also like not really.

feeling like any rush to finish it like i've like i have with some other games um it's kind of got a good format where it's mission based So you can just hop in, do a mission, turn it off and go watch TV or whatever. It's really nice because I was playing stuff like I started Blasphemous 2 around the same time I started this game. I started Armored Core 6.

Blasphemous is very much like Souls-inspired Metrovania stuff. So I would play it for a little while and then switch off and maybe play some Diablo with Autumn. Armored Corps and then come back to Blasphemous and be like...

where on the map were those spots that now I have, like the item that I can now get, like I have the thing to ring the bell. Where are all the bells that I saw? I have no idea. It's been six hours since I played. Like I don't remember where anything was. And that game is super cool.

But I'm going to have to sit down and play it straight through. Whereas this, I feel like I can pick it up and play it at any point. Yeah, you're not really missing out by taking a break. Now, the other big thing that's out right now is Baldur's Gate 3. And that's the type of thing where I feel like I'm like, okay, I need to be able to... get to a place where I could fully devote my attention to this. Everybody loves that, and it's...

I like Forgotten Realms. I don't play D&D, but I've read a million of the Forgotten Realms novels when I was a teenager. So the idea of going to Baldur's Gate and playing one of these games... It is exciting, but I've bounced off every other game in the series and all of these other CRPGs because I'm just not built for it. But the way that everybody talks about Baldur's Gate 3 makes me think, okay, I definitely do have to check this out.

I'm going to try it out. I'm very excited about it. I saw something the other day that I didn't realize, which is that when you... zoom into like the town areas.

um it just becomes like a third person rpg like you're just walking around and talking to people oh that's cool and that made me like infinitely more interested for some reason like i was already kind of on the hook for this like i just want to try it out because it feels like such a like a like a moment in video games or whatever but like the idea that they just like oh yeah like we can just like make the video game and like you don't have to like click

and your dude's gonna walk over i don't know i don't know what yeah yeah no i know what you mean i know what you mean it just seemed like it would be a lot smoother at that point so um oh and the other big thing is starfield but i can't play that because i don't have a good pc or an xbox man i keep seeing like i just i had

Starfield is going to be a weird one. I don't think I'm going to really even try it for a while because it's out of the box like a Bethesda game, so it's kind of buggy. I've seen some weird stuff happen with people on TikTok. But also like... The idea of exploring space and planets is really intriguing to me. Immediately when they started talking about this stuff, I was thinking No Man's Sky. And it's very much not that. They very specifically did not make that game. If you go to a planet...

you are fast traveling to the, to the ground of the planet. There is not that like no man's sky. Like I'm going to create around the universe. scan for planets, fly to the planet, land on the planet, explore the entire planet if I want to, and then leave.

arguments to be made of like no man's sky is mostly proc gen stuff so like is there anything interesting there versus bethesda's like oh we've created maybe some some bespoke content there or whatever but like i don't know man like i keep i keep seeing things in that game and i'm just like

I was right. I'm glad it's for free on Game Pass. Yeah, I need to check out some gameplay. I mean, I'm not buying a console for it, but when Elder Scrolls 6 comes out, I think, will I buy a console for that? Because... I loved Morrowind and then Oblivion came out and I adored that game. And then Skyrim came out and I liked it a little bit.

less than oblivion but i still really liked it fallout 3 was also before skyrim which i enjoyed but i didn't like it as much as oblivion um and then fallout 4 came out and i did not like that at all And it's just like, over time, I've liked the games less and less and less from Bethesda. So I don't know. I don't know what to say. We'll see.

Video games are back, my man. Video games are back. Hey, gamers, we're back. 2023, video games are absolutely back. Do you want to talk about some little green men? I'm melting, so let's do it. Let's absolutely do it. I've got an intro plan. I'm thinking in my head, I'm like, let's do it quick. Because I'm real sweaty over here, but I just got caught up. It's been so long. It's been two and a half weeks, apparently. A whole half of a month. A whole six months.

Do you have an intro? Is that what you're saying? I did. Yeah, I do. Ooh, okay. Okay. I'm going to try it. I might fuck it up in the middle. NHB. NHB, buddy. decimal seven zero zero seven Parrish. Nine. Five. Get small. 9 0 1 7