Ra Ra Rasputin

it's called, appears fairly innocuous. Muted reds and grays, long since faded by the sun paints the building's facade, blending into the equally faded asphalt of the parking lot it shares with the Shell gas station across the street. But once inside, the palid hues of the city give way to midnight blacks and electric pinks. Decor unapologetically flaunting sex and kink over every square inch of its curated studio space.

Past the throne of dildos and gift shop laden with leather accessories, the museum offers exhibit after exhibit of artifacts dedicated to the exploration of sex and sexuality through history. Fertility statues stand proudly next to displays of vintage vibrators of I'll Say Dubious historical accuracy. But perhaps the most interesting piece in the entire space is sitting in a

jar behind a pane of glass. It isn't dressed in the same jarring, neon or velvet allure in keeping with the rest of the exhibit, but then again, it doesn't need to. The pound of flesh bobbing inside the formal toa i'd filled jar speaks for itself. This artifact, of course,

is the dismembered penis of one Gregory resputant. In the centuries since his death, the infamous Russian mystic has become more myth than man, though the latter is hard to ignore after catching a glimpse of the astonishing appendage on display at the museum. At least it would be astonishing

if it were real. False reports involving the aforementioned phallus have been in circulation since the nineteen twenties, after a group of women in France claimed to have kept it in an ice box to take it out for use in certain fertility rituals. Others say that was just a sea cucumber, and the actual Genitalia resided with Maria, his daughter, until she sold it sometime in the seven knees. It's difficult to trace then what happened to the quote actual

or quote false penis. But in the year two thousand a man would pay eight thousand dollars for something that claimed to be a resputants penis, and the man proudly stated, I am sure that it is real. Now there's a lot to unpack there, After all, who pays eight thousand dollars to only be sure they have the real deal? Or maybe it's worth taking a step back and asking the more glaring question of why would someone want to

buy the penis in the first place. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately actually, I do not have the answers to those questions.

But here is one answer. If you were wondering whether the organ is real, I can tell you that at the time of resputants autopsy, his body was yes, riddled with bullet wounds and blunt force trauma, but otherwise fully intact, and the organ on display in the muse Arrows is, at least in this writer's estimation, probably from a non human animal with a size meant to shock audiences to increase the mythology of its alleged source. Fascinating and deeply

compelling as the pickled mystery meat is. I think it's even more interesting to examine the actual human who is allegedly once attached to it when he was still alive. Resputant aroused distrust and scandal without having to say a word. One look at a photo of him with his long, greasy black hair and his gaunt, deep set eyes provide all the reason as to why, over a hundred years later, his image is still deeply unsettling the story of his

life is infamously debaucherous. Even today, his name is synonymous with villain in our cultural psyche. Though perhaps it's all too common for stories to be lost to be consolidated over time, the mad Monk's legend defies historical precedent. Instead of being lost or diminished, histories are inexplicably being added, like Jenga pieces stolen from the base of a teetering

tower that refuses to fall. So why is it that museum's boast to have his most prized possession, even though it is most certainly not real, And why has Risputant as a myth persisted as a cultural phenomenon while the man himself has really slipped into shadows. The answer is a fact Resputin himself knew entirely too well. As long as people want to believe something is real, the truth can afford to be subjective. I'm Danis Schwartz, and this

is noble blood. When Google searches of Resputant turn up picture after picture of greasy beards, wild eyes, and political cartoons illustrating sexual acts with Russian monarchs, it's sometimes hard to remember that long before any of that, he was just Gregory Alfamovitch Rasputin, a young man from a small village in Siberia, born in eighteen sixty nine. He married young at eighteen and fathered seven children, though only three made it to adulthood. But such was life in late

nineteenth century Siberia. Childhood mortality rates were high, access to basic education was practically non existent, and the Russian idea of Sogda or God's will, was the guiding force for the majority of the peas and population. There is very little known about the exact details of our Sputent's early life, most of which come to us via a biography written by his daughter Maria long after he had passed. It's safe to say that this biography might have some historical inaccuracies.

Early on, she claims that a comment tore through the sky on the night of Resputant's birth, when in reality we know there's no recorded comment passing in Earth's view that entire year. But we do know the one aspect of his adulthood that would shape the rest of his life. When Rasputin was twenty eight years old, he took a trip to a Siberian monastery and returned as a strunk or religious pilgrim, ready to share all that he had learned on his travels and spread the word of God.

According to accounts from his closest acquaintances, his intentions began honestly enough, but that didn't mean that he practiced quiet lee quite the opposite. In fact, he immediately garnered attention from other villagers with his peculiar ways. He stopped eating meat and drinking alcohol, But his most unusual affectation was the way he performed during his services. With crazy glances and grimaces, he became impossible to ignore, and fairly quickly

his strange confidence and charisma led to followers. After that initial pilgrimage, where Sputent didn't stay home for long, he continued traveling across the continent, going so far as Greece, but never failing to make his way back to Russia. But the more that he traveled, the less it seemed

that Russia wanted him back. People were becoming more skeptical of the uncomp poly man roaming their streets, especially since a large portion of his disciples were women, which have been so bad if he didn't openly kiss them in public. So that was troubling, as were the vague allegations of sexual assaults that tended to follow in the wake of

his travels. Even before Gregory had married, he had amassed quite the reputation as a young ladies man, so you can imagine the type of power dynamic at play when Respute and found himself in a position where people not only listen to what he had to say, but respected him, praised him, reciput and found a way to exploit his

power for personal gain. In one instance, when a woman came to him distraught after a sexual encounter between the two of them that she had felt coerced into, he simply replied that quote, there was no sin in what they had done. They had simply been celebrating the Holy Trinity. Another report accounts the two sisters, aged fifteen and tw empty, were manipulated into sexual acts with the man after being

lured into a bath house. When their mother confronted Respute and seething with anger, he merely looked at her calmly and said, quote, now you may feel at peace. The

day of salvation has dawned for your daughters. In Resputant's mind, or at least the way he spun his religious teachings to his followers, opening oneself to the possibility of sexual encounters, i e. Stripping in bath houses was a way to prove to God that they were able to resist temptations of the flesh, and sometimes those trips did end in abstinence.

Temptations resisted, but only sometimes. For his part, Resputent did openly admit to being a sinner, explaining that while he did try to resist sin, he was ultimately exempt from judgment because he was quote a man of God, succumbing to these sins while in his serve us. Now, I am of the belief that if something looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's most likely a sexual predator, and that Rasputin was using the religious

rhetoric of confronting temptations as a way to exploit vulnerable women. Unfortunately, at the time, his exploits were seen as merely salacious Monks will be monks. But as gossip around his personal life spread, so did rumors of his abilities as a mystic. One night, the Virgin Mary supposedly came to him crying, tears streaming down her face as she told him to quote, go wander and cleanse the people of their sins. Resput and believed that he had been chosen by God, and

he made it his job to let everyone know. For however creepy and manipulative this man was, he was also smarter than most people gave him credit for. He was expert at the long con planting seeds of gossip that would flower exactly when he needed them to. His actions seemed erratic at times, but every move was calculated to cultivate this man of God persona which he was honestly

probably narcissistic enough to believe was true. But at the time, especially in more elite social circles, people took him pretty plainly at face value. He was a peasant, most likely simple minded, and he therefore posed very little threat. So what if he had a reputation as a philanderer. Surely only the week fell for such ploys. Right before we go any further into respute and story, I'd like us

to pivot for a moment towards St. Petersburg. Behind the waves of civil unrest and political turmoil, the Romanov's sat comfortably inside the walls of Alexander Palace, confident in their nearly three hundred year old dynasty, and they're obviously God given authority to rule. At least if they told themselves that enough times, maybe it would finally become reality. In truth, the royal family it was harboring a possibly dynasty ending secret.

The Tsarovitch was sick. Alexey, the fifth child but only son of Zar Nicholas and the Zarina Alexandra Fedorovna, had been diagnosed with hemophilia, a rare blood disorder that inhibits blood from clotting, normally subjecting its victims to possibly fatal internal bleeding at the drop of a hat. The Czar and Zarina were understandably distraught concerning the health of their son, though his illness posed a greater threat to the Russian

monarchy as a whole. Alexei was their only son, and if you remember our past episode on Paul the First of Russia, his grudge match against his mother, Catherine the Great still persisted into the twentieth century in the form of a law that only sons could inherit the Russian throne. The Czar and Czarina had desperately waited for a son. With each pregnancy their hopes were a nude, and with each daughter, their hopes were dashed four times in a row, Girl, girl, girl, girl.

The Zarina Alexandra had been so desperate for a son that she had turned to the church and mysticism for help. The originally of German descent, Alexandra converted to Russian Orthodox Christianity upon her engagement to Nicholas, and she adopted the practice wholeheartedly into her life. It's easy to laugh at the idea of mysticism now, but in the turn of the twentieth century in Russia it was not an common practice, especially amongst the aristocracy. People craved excitement, anything to break

up the monotony of their day to day lives. I mean, think about the way wealthy people today talk about moon juice and alkalies, lemon water and healing crystals. But at that time, for those inside the palace walls, mysticism had genuine credence. One of the crown's closest religious advisors would tell the Tsar, God sends consolation to his people from time to time in the guise of righteous men, and

they are the mainstays of Holy Russia. Considering that the Czar and Czarina truly believed that they had been chosen by God to rule the people of Russia, their belief in mysticism compounded. God had chosen them, so obviously he had chosen these mystics to carry out his work as well.

So after one mystic claimed to be able to influence the gender of a child during pregnancy, and then the Sarina gave birth to a son, the practice of mysticism came to be consulted on all matters of everyday life, and that man, not resputing yet just some other random guy, became a mainstay at court. After the diagnosis of her son, Alexandra sought the help of that mystic more desperate to

alleviate her son's suffering. But over time members of the court began to grow skeptical of that religious advisor whispering in the Queen's ear. After a considerable amount of pressure from his staff, Czar Nicholas was forced to send Alexandra's beloved mystic away. But before the mystic left, he foretold one final prophecy quote, Someday you will have another friend

like me who will speak to you of God. The dust had barely settled on that mystic being fired before Resputin was suddenly knocking on the palace door, well metaphorically knocking. Resputin knew that the road to power ended on the roman Off doorstep, but he also recognized how nearly impossible it was going to be for him to get there. After all, he was a peasant with no connections to the capital and only a questionable reputation to his name, But he wouldn't let that stop him by virtue of

his chosen profession. By nineteen o five, Resputin had become an expert in finding spaces for himself in social circles where none had existed before. He was a social climbing assassin, using people and then burning bridges like he needed the tinder to keep warm, And maybe he did, but that didn't mean the flames would never catch up to him, as it were. In nineteen o five, Resputin found himself in St. Petersburg in the company of three of the

Czar's closest acquaintances. Years of travel and power grabbing all came down to one t on an innocuous autumn afternoon. So what did the Siberian peasant do to woo the god divined rulers of Russia? Absolutely nothing, or rather, he made the nobles feel as though they were nothing, certainly no more important than any of the peasants that he

often met on the street. He used the informal Russian you pronoun that used for friends and family instead of the respectful you reserved for elders and people of higher birth, and when Rasputin met the Tsar and Szarina, he addressed them as Batushka and Matushka, or little father and little mother, which was the common name the peasant class took to calling the royal couple, and infuriatingly enough, they ate it up.

Nicholas and Alexandra hated all the pomp and circumstance that typically followed them as Russian monarchs, so when Resputin who had been waiting years for this very encounter, showed them the same ambivalence he showed say soap. The royal couple was immediately smitten. After years without a quote unquote man of God at her side, the Czarena remembered the parting words of her last trusted religious adviser, some day you will have another friend like me who will speak to

you of God. And as she watched with wide eyes and bated breath, while the mysterious holy Man stood over her son and her son's muscles finally unclenched after days of restlessness, there was no doubt in her mind her friend had arrived. News of resputants present in the palace quickly made the rounds in Saint Petersburg. Unsurprisingly, people were skeptical of the unkempt, self proclaimed spiritual healer who spent

so much of his time around the royal family. His infamous reputation as a sexual predator had followed him on his travels to the capital, and yet the Czar and Czarina kept him in their inner circle, unwilling to listen to anyone who disparaged their newfound friend. Worse yet, the rumors were beginning to fester. After all, what exactly was he doing with the royal family? They had five children, four of them young girls. Someone with a past like

his shouldn't the Czar and Czarina be more concerned. For once peasants and nobles were in agreement, respute and needed to go. He was not known for his reticence in sharing political opinions, and the last thing that anyone wanted was for resput and notorious sex fiend parading around as a religious holy man to have influence over the Russian government. Public outcry trickled its way into the palace, but would be destined to fall on deaf ears. For the Zarina,

Resputant's place in the palace was indisputable. His prayers were keeping her son alive. Alexey's hemophilia was still a state secret, one that the Crown couldn't afford to get out for fear that their god given right to rule would crumble under the ailment of the crown prince. After all, if God had chosen them, why wouldn't he have given them

a healthy air. Their silence would ultimately only add more fuel to the fire of rumors swirling around the city before long, speculation as to the nature of Resputen and the Zarina's relationship was being called into question, especially after correspondence between the two was leaked to the press. Quote I know that much of what I do and think is not good. I want to be a good Christian, a good person, but it is so hard, Alexandra had written in a private letter to the monk. Quote so

often I have to fight bad habits. But help me, don't abandon me. I am weak and not good. End quote. Suddenly, all of the bridges Resputant had burned to reach the Romanovs had their flames, threatening to burn down the entire palace. Even beyond the basic accusations of infidelity, other more disturbing

allegations were coming to the forefront. People were beginning to question the paternity of the Tsarevich himself, with others accusing the mad monk of sexually assaulting the young Romanov daughters, even possibly getting one pregnant. Before long, the entire country was alight with conspiracy, conspiracy that would carry on for far longer than one lifetime. Bony M's now iconic lyric rah Rah Rasputine, lover of the Russian Queen is, no doubt a clever couplet, but it's evidence is placed on

faulty ground. The Zarina may have had her faults, but if she was anything, it was a devout Christian and loyal wife. And in addition to keeping her son's illness out of the public eye, she also suffered from chronic pain. In secret. After five difficult pregnancies, her body had taken a fair amount of abuse, leaving her with sciatica that

would sometimes keep her bedbound for days. She was not in a condition to be carrying on an illicit love affair, even if she wanted to, which, based on her character, I don't think she did. But of course, once again, the truth didn't matter. Before the rumors could have just been dismissed. But after personal letters surfaced and were proven legitimate by the star himself, the crown was looking as unstable as ever. The people thought that the infidelity rumors

were true, and the Zarina was furious. The question remained, who had leaked the letters? How did this happen? The obvious answer lies with the recipient, But Resputin was a trusted friend, Surely he never would have done such a thing. It should come as no surprise that no one was a bigger fan of Resputen than Resputen. So when the Czarina herself began sending him not just letters but personal confessions,

he couldn't keep them to himself. Years earlier, an acquaintance of Resputants had found himself inside the monks St. Petersburg apartment where Resputin was showing off his personal letters from the Czarina. He was boasting about his status as one of her closest spiritual advisors. The acquaintance smiled and nodded, acting impressed when he was called to do so, but in the back of his mind he was taking notes.

Perhaps he asked to see the letters up close. Fast forward three years, and the Czarina's letters were being printed and dissected by every major news outlet around the world. Rasputin attempted to do some damage control, but Alexandra would no longer permit him inside the palace walls. After years of begging, the Czarina was finally taking the advice of nearly every one of her advisors, and she sent Rasputin packing. After all, her son hadn't had a severe attack in years.

There was no immediate need for resputant services. So that autumn, on a family vacation to their hunting lunch, nobody thought twice when their carriage took an unusually hard bump in the road. That was until the young Tsarevich could no longer contain his screams. After what seemed like no time at all, Alexei went from playing on the hounds to crying helplessly in agony. On his deathbed, Nicholas and Alexandra were beside themselves. Their family vacation had turned into their

worst nightmare. Their son lay pale and incoherent, while his leg and hip swelled with blood. He was in pain, so agonizing that the staff took to putting cotton in their ears to deafen his blood curdling screams. The doctors worked on him tirelessly, but the Crown Prince showed no signs of improvement. When Alexey was finally read his last rites, the Czarina could no longer sit and watch helplessly as her one and only son slipped away painfully into the night.

Rising from her son's bedside, Alexandra used what little energy she had to compose a telegram to Gregory Rasputin asking him, begging him to help save her son. When resput And received word of the young boy's condition, he was remarkably unbothered. The doctors had told the royal couple their son would be dead by mourning, but the mystic simply scoffed. God has seen your tears and heard your prayers, He assured the queen. The little one will not die. Do not

allow the doctors to bother him too much. Upon receiving word, Alexandra immediately relaxed. She walked back to her son's bedside with renewed vigor, announcing to the others holding vigil that during the night, I received a telegram from Father Gregory, and he has reassured me completely and miraculously, Despite quite literally being on the brink of death, Alexei recovered within days, His fever broke, the swelling began to receive, and his

appetite returned. It was a miracle, one that seemingly only took place under resputants command. None of it made any sense, and yet it didn't have to. All that mattered was that Theisarevich was alive and the monarchy was safe for another day. Over a century later, Alexei's recovery remains a mystery to historians, but of course there are several theories. The first and probably most likely has everything to do with the final words of resputants telegram to Alexandra, do

not allow the doctors to bother him too much. To this day, there is still no cure for hemophilia, but given the advancements in medical knowledge, we are now certainly aware of how not to treat the disease. Rule number one, don't give the patient blood thinners. Unfortunately, for Alexei, aspirin seemed to be the royal doctor's drug of choice. The new at the time miracle drug, now widely known as a blood thinner, seemed to be a cure for so many common ailments, so why not try it against the

well rare blood disorder that prevents blood from plotting. But in any case, Resputent's intervention against the doctors could have possibly saved Alexei's life. Ironically, the best sort of treatment the boy could have received at the time was time time without doctor's force feeding him blood thinners and poking and prodding at his already bleeding body. But others are more skeptical that Resputent was involved at all in the young boys treatment plan. The timeline of events that led

to Alexei's recovery is sketchy at best. At what point exactly did Alexandra send that telegram, how quickly did respute and respond? It's widely understood that contacting Resputent had been the Czarina's absolute final option, with the last rites having already been and to her son. After a certain point, the doctors would have most likely stopped treating the boy to let him pass on in peace. Resputant's words could have reached the hunting lodge while Alexei was already on

the mend. But once again the truth didn't matter. The Czarina believed Resputin had been sent by God to save her son, and any previous grudge she may have held against the man meant nothing so long as her son was safe. Without even being on the same side of the country, Resputin had once again managed to make his way back inside the Royal Palace. The start of the new year brought with it the three hundred year anniversary of Romanov rule in Russia, a legacy that great came

with a mounting pressure. Nicholas was beginning to feel in his bones. Ever since the nineteen oh five revolution, when his power as Supreme Autocrat had been strict with the founding of the Russian legislative body known as Duma, he had never been able to shake the shadow of revolution that he felt breathing down his neck. He was the Czar of Russia, wasn't he? Duma be damned? He was a Romanov and the Romanovs had been chosen by God to rule the mighty nation of Russia, come hell or

high water. So how would he strive to prove himself as a competent ruler by going to war, of course, or rather by sending thousands of young men to go off to war for him. Unlike the majority of Russian aristocrats, Resputin was actually staunchly against Russia going to war. He didn't need to be able to see the future to know that war would mean the deaths of thousands of

young Russian men, primarily peasants like himself, not aristocrats. Resputin was quoted as saying, quote, We're already the biggest country in the world. Why do we need more real estate? But try as he might, Resputent's effort went unheard. Luckily for him, vodka proved to be a great listener. With war on the horizon and feeling his influence waning, he wasted no time in drowning his sorrows and drowning his

decade plus of sobriety. After an assassination attempt in his hometown left him bedbound as he healed, Waking up one morning to the newspaper reporting Germany's declaration of war against Russia was enough to make him want to curl up at the bottom of a bottle. Resputants dependence on alcohol would follow him for the rest of his life. From this point on, he rarely ever attended events sober, only pulling himself together enough for the royal couple not to

suspect that something was seriously wrong. So when Alexandra ordered the monk to embark on a trip to Moscow in a desperate attempt to bolster his reputation into something salvageable, she couldn't have known that this trip would lead to one of the most infamous nights of Resputant's life. On the evening of March twenty six, nineteen fifteen, Resputin went to an establishment called the Yard in Moscow to partake

in their typical nighttime festivities. Never one to be unprepared, Resputin arrived having already down half of his body weight in vodka, and he promptly ordered more. Upon his arrival, other patrons of the r began to take notice of the oddily dressed, boisterous man in the corner. The patrons held their hands up to their mouths in shock when the man started to grab at more than a few of the performers, and then Resputant stood and started off on an alcohol fuel tirade for the benefit of the

entire establishment. According to witnesses, the unhinged monk became quote sexually psychopathic, alluding to his legendary fallis, and rumored in decent relationship with a zarina. He referred to her as quote the old girl, and proceeded to detail his control over her, eliciting even more disgusted from the crowd. Finally, when one patron dared him to prove that he was the real resputent, he did the only thing a man like Resputent would think to do. He dropped his pants

and waived his member at the crowd. It's legendary size apparently all the identification needed. After that, the police were called and Resputent was led away quote snarling and vowing vengeance. Today, Resputent's night at the yard is debated wildly amongst historians. Some say there are no police reports from that night that would suggest Resputent was even at the r in the first place. Meanwhile, others say that there were too many reputable witnesses to have the story be anything but true.

In my opinion, the truth behind the actual events of that night are of little importance. What mattered, what still matters in resputen story is that people believed it was true, and so it was, which leads us to one of the most notorious myths in the Resputent canon, the prophecy. In the months leading up to his death, Resputen had rightly so begun to grow increasingly paranoid about his demise.

He took on an extremely fatalistic view on life, often recounting his knowledge that the end for him was near. But according to legend, in the weeks before his death, Resputen wrote a letter to the royals describing what would be known as his quote final prophecy. Russians are, he began, I have a presentiment that I shall leave this world before the first of January. If I am killed, not one member of your family will survive more than two years.

The tragic demise of the Romanovs and the Russian monarchy has been the subject of fascination and speculation for over a hundred years, and this letter remains one of the most infamous relics of the past. And while this letter does seem like exactly the type of manipulation Resputent would pull to try to solidify his place within the royal fold, it really is just another tally on the ever growing list of false rumors associated with the infamous mad Monk.

The letter itself is really the prophecies undoing. It's the diction that really disproves the letters authenticity. It begins by addressing Nicholas as Russians are, which, as we stated earlier, was just not how Resputent spoke. He rarely, if ever, used terms of authority with royals, and he continued to call the Czarina and Czar little mother and little father

until his death. The prophecy, like so many other parts of the resput and myth, is something that people love to hold onto In this case, maybe because it's a detail that makes the Romanov killings next all the more tragic and romantic. On the night of December six, nineteen sixteen, Resputin was invited to the home of a man named Felix Yusupo for an evening of dinner and drinks. When Resputin arrived, you suppose and his two compatriots greeted their

new companion with warm smiles and casual conversation. But beneath the thin veneer of pleasantries, a more sinister plot was already brewing. The young Russian prince Felix Yusupov had been orchestrating a plan for weeks, carefully crafting timetables and alibis in preparation for what was sure to be his crowning achievement,

ridding Russia of the religious fraud Gregory Rasputin. Yusupov was not necessarily how one would imagine a murderer, for one, he had never before committed a serious crime, let alone homicide. But ever, the idealist Yusupov had watched from afar as respute and whispered into the ear of the Czarina, and he became increasingly infuriated with his position in court. Why should this peasant have such sway over the most important

political decisions in Russia. In his mind, Rasputin needed to be taken out of the equation, and he wanted to be the one to do it. Originally, Yusupov went to the President of the Duma to collaborate on the assassination attempt, pleading quote, if the Emperor were freed of the influence of Resputin and his wife, everything would change. He would be a good constitutional monarch. Unfortunately for him, the President would hear nothing of it. Quote do you think I

keep office for assassins? He blustered in truth. As much as the Duma hated Respute and killing him would not have been beneficial to their cause. It was obvious that the end of the monarchy was near, and when it finally fell, the Duma was trying to establish a democratic government that would rise in its place, where Sputent's influence over the Romanovs was making them tremendously unpopular and only

helping bring down the monarchy quicker. Why would the Duma want to help kill a man who was making their job easier and so Prince Felix Yusupov, a man with the criminal rap sheet of a pacifier, was left to orchestrate the assassination of the most notorious villain in all of Russia alone. I think it's important to note that the events that occurred next will always remain something of a mystery. After all, we only hear the version told from the point of view of the murderer. A I've

said on this podcast many times before. History is told by the victors, and the night of December sixteenth, nineteen sixteen is no exception. Around eleven p m. Respute and arrived at Yusopope's home, where he was promptly led down into the basement to wait for Yusopope's wife to join them. While they waited, Felix offered respute and refreshment. Small cakes and glasses of wine were pushed in Gregory's face, which,

after an initial hesitation, he indulged in thoroughly. Yusupov watched him with a mixture of horror and fascination, the memory of having crushed cyanide capsules between his fingertips still fresh in his mind as he waited for the man to succumb to the poison. Slowly resputant's eyes began to droop. He brought his hand to his throat, almost distractedly, like he was fighting off an itch. He couldn't scratch. But after an hour he still sat drinking his poisoned wine,

completely awake and very much alive. By one in the morning, you Suppov was livid, having had to entertain the man he was trying to kill for over two hours. Excusing himself, You Suppov ascended from the basement to reconvene with his co conspirators. This wasn't how the night was supposed to go. The poison was supposed to allow them time to dispose of the body cleanly, to cover their tracks with minimal risk. Now it was obvious they would have to use a

more sure fire method. When you Suppose returned, it was with a revolver behind his back. Taking a deep breath, he told the monk, Gregory Alfmovich, you'd best come look at that crucifix and say a prayer before it. He brought the gun out from behind him and pointed the barrel at the other man, and after a moment's hesitation, he fired a bullet into Resputeen's chest, a meat itly Resputent fell to the floor, and upon hearing the shot,

Usupov's compatriots came down to inspect the body. As the blood began to spread, the men dragged Resputent's body across the floor to avoid God forbid, staining the bear skin rug, and then they took the jacket off of his back. Although the first part of their plan had gone slightly off the rails, the second phase was being put into play. Another of the men dressed in Resputent's coat and drove away from the palace to make it look like Gregory left of his own volition, while the man imposing as

Resputen made his swift getaway. The rest of the men left the basement and hung about the house waiting for their next move, But Yusopov couldn't sit still. For some inexplicable reason, he felt the need to check the body. When his feet found their way back to the scene of the crime, he took a small breath of relief. The body was just as they had left it. But then the figure on the ground began to move with blood leaking from his mouth. Resputant opened his eyes, greenish

and snakelike. According to the Prince, and stared him down with an expression of satanic hatred. Felix Resputant croaked, blood flying from his mouth with every forced syllable. Yusupov ran to warn the others, but when he came back down, Resputin was gone. He had walked out the door and

into the snow, heading towards the side courtyard. The Prince followed after him, his accomplices and tow As they followed the bleeding peasant past the iron gates, one of the men shot once twice, but they both missed, until the third finally found a home in Resputant's back, causing the man to once again collapse to the ground. Upon approaching the body, a fourth and final bullet was fired, this

time between his eye ways. The sound of the last bullet cut through the night air like a knife, making the silence that followed feel almost like a dream, or maybe a nightmare. As the blood slowly dyed the snow beneath their feet, Crimson red at last, the mad mystic, the most universally hated man in all of Russia, Gregory alfmo Vitrusputin, was dead This morning. At six o'clock, Gregory Resputin suddenly passed away after a party at one of

the most aristocratic houses in the center of Petrograd. Days before they would find the body, news outlets were already reporting the murder, and the citizens of the capital city were celebrating in the streets. Felix Yusopov, however, was not one of those people celebrating. The morning after the assassination, Yusupov woke at his father in law's house to a phone call from his residence the police had arrived to question him. When he did meet with the police, he

immediately took offense at being accused of anything. Quote, if people murder Resputin, they planned to connect the crime with me and my party, he refuted helplessly as the police raided his home. When questioned about the multiple gunshots heard by multiple witnesses the night before, Yusupov claimed certain members of the party overindulged and shot a stray dog for fun. He took them back to his home and showed them the carcass of said dog, still lying in the snow.

As the police drove away their questions. Unsatisfactorily answered, you suppose couldn't help but stare at the snow covered courtyard where just twelve hours before, an entirely different body had been lying beneath his feet. That body had still yet to be found, but everyone in Russia seemed to agree that all signs pointed towards Felix you Suppove. Meanwhile, inside the Alexander Palace, the Romanovs, specifically the Czarina, were inconsolable

by her orders. You Supov was illegally placed under house arrest, no longer able to flee the city like so many of his accomplices already had. Her friend was gone, and somebody was going to pay. It would be two more days until Resputant's body would be pulled out of the icy Nivo River, nearly two d and fifty feet away from where the party had dumped his body from the

top of the Great Petrofsky Bridge. When the police finally excavated the body from the ice, Resputant's torso was still bound by rope, but his arms extended out from his body, situated in such a way that it was rumored Resputant was still alive when he hit the water, and his final act was making the sign of the cross as he died. For years, Russian officials kept the autopsy of Gregory Resiputin out of the public eye, leaving the real

cause of death up for speculation. All the while newspapers at the time, with nothing else to go on, we're also reporting off hearsay. Combined, these circumstances almost encouraged the story to grow into the mythic proportions we've come to know them today. However, since then, the autopsy has been made available, and here's what we know. At the time

of his death, Resputin had been very drunk. The report notes the thick stench of alcohol on his corpse, even after spending two nights in the icy depths of the river. He had suffered a large blunt force trauma to the head in addition to the three bullet wounds found on his body. His lungs, however, did not contain any water, suggesting he was actually dead by the time he was thrown from the bridge that night. The autopsy concluded the third bullet wound to the forehead, not the drowning, was

Resputant's real cause of death. However, what's more interesting is the lack of any trace of poison other than copious amounts of alcohol in the bloodstream. The very distinct scent of cyanide was found nowhere on the body, leading the doctors to believe that the goods were sputan ingested earlier that evening were never poisoned in the first place. Historians have a couple of working theories as to how this happened.

The first is that one of you supposed co conspirators had a sudden change of heart before a Sputin was scheduled to arrive at the palace, and he switched the actual cyanide with a harmless alternative. Another theory is that the poison they sourced might not have actually been lethal in the first place. You Supope was not exactly the world's greatest hit man. It would have been easy for him to have been duped into thinking he had purchased

the real thing. The final theory is one that changes what we know about the Night of resputants murder altogether. This theory is that you suppose jazzed up the story

for dramatic purposes. After a Sputant's body was found and Yusupope was understood to have been the culprit behind his demise, the Zarina wanted to put him and his accomplices on trial, however, it was painfully obvious from the celebrations in the street that a jury of his peers would find Usupov not guilty, And while the Zarrena wanted justice to be served, she also knew that a not guilty verdict would be viewed as a slight on the monarchy, an institution that was

growing less and less stable by the day. The solution to this was, you suppose ordered exile from the capital to his family's estates in central Russia without a trial. Years later, after the monarchy fell, you suppope and his family fled Russia, and he took with him, among priceless jewe poles and a couple of rem brands, his story

about the night he killed Gregory Resputin. Yusupov often boasted of this accomplishment to people he would meet on his travels, and it makes sense he would aggrandize some of his claims to bolster his reputation, especially if he could stand to make money off of it. In the memoir, he would go on to write, so what actually happened that night, Well, it's impossible to say, after all, As Joseph Ferman notes

in his biography, resputing the untold story. The autopsy surgeon could have not been looking for the poison and failed to see it. An autopsy from nineteen sixteen is hardly as reliable as one would be today, so in reality, Resputin very well could have been poisoned, but just not given a lethal dose. Some like to speculate that Resputin had built up an immunity to poison, but that's actually

not possible with cyanide personally. For no real reason, In just a hunch, I think that the Prince was sold fake pills and he didn't use a lethal dose. But in the larger sense, the truth about reciputants murder stomped

mattering a long time ago. The lack of details released to the public in the immediate aftermath, mixed with the already larger than life mythos of the man in question, created a perfect storm of mystery and intrigue that has flourished into a story that is most likely far superior to the actual source material, Which brings us back to the Excuse me pickled penis sitting in the Museum of Sex and Erotica in St. Petersburg. Although its origins are

now widely understood to be of the bovine variety. The legend associated with it remains, and if we are to believe the events of that night at they are actually occurred, then resputed and obviously wanted his let's say, larger than life legacy to have carried on. The question does remain, why do we continue to give the spotlight to someone

as deeply controversial and problematic as Resputant. On a purely esthetic level, the idea that someone with the hygiene practices of a cockroache had access to Russia's most powerful royals is a confounding mystery in and of itself. But mix in the sex, the scandal, and the mysticism, and it's a recipe for intrigue. The legendary assassination is just icing

on the cake. But underneath the chaotic Jenga tower that has become Resputants legacy, I think it's important to remember that the man beneath it all was just a man, one who's all too real body was exhumed shortly after the Czar's abdication, taken to the outskirts of the city,

and hastily cremated by the hands of inexperienced soldiers. And after the flames had died out, the men dumped what charge remains there were into a nearby stream, where he calmly washed back into the earth from whence he came. That's the strange and possibly even true story of Gregory Rasputin, But stick around after a brief sponsor break to hear the all two real story of one of the few

people he left behind. Perhaps the only person to rival the larger than life persona of Gregory Resputin is his daughter Maria. After fleeing the country following the Bolshevik Revolution, Maria lived a nomadic lifestyle with her first husband until his death in nine As the mother to two daughters. By this point, she knew she had to find a

way to provide for her and her family. Cut to Maria Resputin taming lions in the Traveling circus In Maria joined the Bush circus Us as a dancer, eventually making her way to America with the Ringling Brothers as their animal tamer. She was often billed as the daughter of the mad monk whose feats in Russia astonished the world. When asked if she minded being in a cage with the animals, she famously replied, why not, I've been in

a cage with Bolsheviks. Her career with the Circus only ended after she was brutally mauled by a polar bear. Miraculously she survived the attack, of course she did. I think it's actually a little ironic. Polar bear attack is the only method of death that has never been rumored to be ascribed to Resputing himself. Maria spent the rest of her life supporting her family by becoming a factory worker.

It's funny how history can feel so distant from our lives when in reality, Resputent's daughter died in nine seventy seven, the same year Star Wars would play in theaters for the first time. M m. Noble Blood is a production of I Heart Radio and Grimm and Mild from Aaron Mankey. The show is written and hosted by Dani Schwartz. Executive producers include Aaron Manky, Alex Williams, and Matt Frederick. The show is produced by rema Ill Kali and Trevor Young.

Noble Blood is on social media at Noble Blood Tales, and you can learn more about the show over at Noble Blood Tales dot com. For more podcasts, from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. M