Last time on no latency. Vendel. I can't see anything. Is everyone all right? All right, all right. Hello. Hello, baby, you have to do something fresh. What? Why? Can I hear you? What are you doing? What? The hell was going on? Wait, what do you mean there's two lives live? That must mean we're still in the BD, but I don't know. Yeah, where they would have gone. Oh, did you summon the joint into your fingers? Yeah. OK. That means anything goes. I'll call Vendel. Vendel. Vendel.
Can you hear me? I know, I know. It's going to be OK. What does that mean? If you die in the game, you die in real life. Oh no, there's probably more. Never split the party. Let's split up. VV. There are piranhas in there I. Just really want to help them though. Yeah, you're really good at stuff. I I. I need some help here. Following Iona's instructions. Somebody should take that sweet. All right, be ready to be sacrificed. What? Well, good job fishing that out, Jeb.
I knew you had it in you. Yeah. Well, you know, this ain't my first time fishing. Do you do a lot of fishing in the Badlands? Well, we used to have this one whale and we were pretty sure that there was a fish down there and we tried over and over to try to fish this fish out. All we got were like, you know, radioactive decaying elements. And there was a boot once, but I fished a whole bunch of stuff out of there.
None of them was a fish though, so this will continue my streak of fishing things that aren't fish. Great. Well, Speaking of, we should probably go to the well. Oh yeah. Oh, the whale, Yeah. Yes. Oh, let's go to the well. Oh well. So we're just going to. You just want to walk? Down just we're just going to go, you walk. Down the hallway and it feels like it keeps going forever.
And then there's this shimmer as you appear at the intersection of Psycho Psycho, Cybernetic alleys within this cyberspace. As you feel the walls move like blocks. As you get to this middle space, you notice that more Watchmen have appeared. If you want to avoid their gaze, roll Stealth. I shoot. Them. Yeah. I don't. I just shoot. Jeb, you rolled a crit on stealth and. You shouldn't. Disappear. Where the fuck? Where the fuck did Jeb go?
And while that happened, VV and Iona In Sync both put their hands out in front of them, a gun appears and you fire in tandem as your bullets. Fly in parallel, they hit these two Watchmen. You watch as they blast and explode into pieces in the air. As their fragments glint and shine, they disappear into dust. The last watchman walks around from one of the crates and screams at you all. Everyone roll resist torture drums except Jack Iona.
Remy and oh, fresh pee did not roll 13 Fresh pee leans forward. Iona, why? Why are you shaking? The screams are very loud. And as he screams louder and louder, he splits in two. As his body contorts, the arms extend out. Holy shit. And there before you. Out of the shell of the Watchmen, A bozo from the real world with a permanent smile and a porcelain mask. Oh dear, oh. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, I'm the only clown around here. Odds or evens, Retro the Bozo,
the boozy. As he laughs, he materializes a gun in front of him. Shoots you Iona and the bullet hits you where your scar is, and your scar gets bigger in pixels. Fuck no. God, it's mine. I've been shot before. And you take 14 damage. Oh gosh. Shit. I'm OK. I'm OK. And that one hides behind the crate as two more Watchmen step forward, Retro. Your bullet flies through one of them. And he splits into I need You to roll AD 10. That's crit Fail.
That guy falls to the ground and his two harbs that have been perfectly severed turn into two more. Wait, question, Do our power ups still go off because I got this one called Scattershot or Spreadshot. Well, I'm going to go ahead and use my Spreadshot and see if I can shoot them all. Did you win that in the battle rail part of this? Yeah, I did. I got it in the the, the loop, the loop box, Oh. Yes, I mean like you know we're in, we're in the, the virtual
space. It's worth us having a shot that I get it. Take that shot. 23 You blow through these Watchmen, and they split into a million pieces. Using your scatter shot, they have no chance to come back, and all of the Watchmen here in this corridor fall to the ground. The last large clown that emerged from one of these beasts earlier is the only thing standing in your way of getting to the well. It's. Fine. I'll shoot it. It's fine. Fuck you. Fuck you. And as you say, fuck you.
Put both of your arms out. Iona and two guns appear in your hand, and you pull the triggers. As these bullets rip through his body, his gun is removed, as well as half of his left arm. Digital blood that's been weirdly censored spurts out of his left artery on the. In front of his arm, VV. You see this opportunity As he stands there. He pulls his baseball bat out of his backpack, leans on it. Can I slide it and can I use my item? I'm going to try to deflect this, actually.
Just try to deflect whatever he's about to do with the baseball bat, OK? Do it. Crawling 19 + 10, That is a crit. Yes. You smack his baseball bat from underneath him. He was leaning on, He falls forward, smacks on his face, rolls over, does kind of an accidental backflip and lands on top of one of the crates and you hear something crack. I'm going to roll. Critical injury. That is never good. That's a nine. I hear his leg muscle tear in half and it sounds like fresh bread being torn.
Apart. As this this. This blood spurt, just it's digitally falling to the ground. But you rolled so well, you managed to miss the the the blood. So there's a tremendous amount of damage to this guy, and now Jed is invisibly in this room somewhere. You feel Jeb? It's time for the killing blind. You know, maybe we're thinking about this wrong. Maybe we got to, you know, fight clowns with comedy. And I'd. Focus on. Creating a giant anvil that will fall onto this clown. Ah.
Cute. I like that. 20 yeah. A large anvil appears mid air, exactly the shape as it is in Minecraft, and just falls on this guy and he gets turned into Jelly, like an imprint of a anvil in his chest as he as he starts to lash as he slowly dissolves into pixels. Oh, that was disturbing. Good job. Jeff Beef kind of squashed the beef. That's a good idea. We sure we. It was a it was a team effort, everyone. Great work. Half. I was all over. Oh shit.
Jeff, where the hell did you just come from? Not, not. Not me. Not me. Oh, right. Well, the finger guns to you, LAN. Are you not feeling OK? I was fucking shot fresh. Let me let me take a look. Oh, doctors on the case. Can you make a typo or something? Yes. So I hold up the blank hypo and think about a like stem heel inside of it too. And I'm about to. I just go for it on Iona like some thinking about it. 11. OK. Yeah. Oh, look at that. That's a six. Nice.
You give Iona 6 help. Did that help? Do you feel better? Yes. A6 appear above Iona's head with A plus next to it and it turns green and disappears. That's cool. Oh yeah, Cyberspace is wild. Look, if you like. You know how Remy can put like things on his face? You can do that too. Look what And. Philip squeezes his eyes really hard and a silly face emoji appears above his head for like a few seconds. I I concentrate really hard and a giant middle finger appears above my head. Right.
Good. Hey Iona, what's your favorite food? Crab cakes. Think of crab cakes really hard. I'm thinking it smells like crab cakes in here. Smells delicious. Not like crab cakes. Crab cakes. Oh look, there are crab cakes here. That's cool. Here you go. What was the point of that I? Just dropped one. I'm sorry. Here you go. Try eating one of the crab cakes. Why 'cause you're not you when you're hungry. Maybe just try it. Come on. I materialize a fork in my hand. Do you eat it?
I eat it. You gain 1HP and A1 appears above your head. Well, that's good to know. Video game rules. I can't argue with that. As the GM, that's genius. Yes, Inspiration. Well, if you want to enjoy your crab cakes as we go to the well. I'm not really that hungry, but thank you. Let's go. Hopefully you're feeling well. Let's go. To the well. Yes. You walk down the corridor and as you walk down the corridor you get to the very end as you're here at the well as you arrive.
Somebody wrote a perception. Don't look at me. Oh precept. 21 VV Yes. Nevermind. You look around the room and you see a few crates. There are some regular faded lines on the ground that kind of look like circuits, and then there are some colored ones in here, and there are three Watchmen lined up against the wall, and behind them are two force fields that you're fairly certain from previous experience you won't be able to push your
way through. OK, it looks like there's some circuit lines on the ground here, like 3 different colors and some Watchmen in certain colors. Maybe we have to match up these Watchmen. With the circuits. All right, I I go over to the yellow. The yellow circuit box. Come here. Not, not you. You come here? Mate, Roll, roll Persuasion. Come here. Oh, that's a 16. Three. No. So the yellow one takes a step towards you. Good, good, good. Somebody else should probably be
doing the same thing. Oh, OK, I'll, I'll go over to the the blue one. The red guy looks at you. No, you you you go away. No, I I'd like the the blue one, please. They're scaring me. Role persuasion, OK, I'm just trying to talk to Vic. Great podcasting. 20 It works. The red one nods at you, just looks at VV, and instead of going towards the red box is now actively going for VV. Hold on, I've got an idea and. Jeb walks over to just behind the end of the. Blue. What do you want to call?
This square. Circuit box. Yeah, just the end of the blue circuit box and pulls out his grapple. Gun. All right, Stay right there. And. Back 26, you'd latch onto the blue guy as he was distracted by Iona and he comes careening across the room and is now standing right next to you and. As he like approaches I. Punch him in the head so he gets knocked out. Cold rolling? Really.
He's he's careening towards me at quite the speed and I'm not even me punching more, just bracing myself and putting my fist out. Oh, are you doing like one of those, like clothesline, like? Absolutely. I'm clotheslining him, yes. 19 Yes, you managed to knock him out cold. His feet fly up, Jeb. You knocked him out of his. Shoes. Yeah, actually, what kind of shoes he got. Shoes fall off Oh. Those are very. One of them turns into a coin and starts spinning on the
ground. Oh, I think you do it. You get 100 eddies. I'm going to move toward the red circuit. He comes around the corner, puts both of his arms out, and starts to walk towards you. You're now standing behind these crates. Fresh pee is trying to not be noticed. Fresh pee. Roll something. Fresh pea rolling something that's. My best fresh pea. I can do impressions. I can do impressions. That's an impression of me. No, no, that's Baby Thanos. Don't bring back some.
Lord, I'm baby theaters. 16, yes. Fresh manages to step sideways as the red guy walks just shy of the box. What are you going to do, Phoebe? I want to pull a box in front of him and behind him and box him in. OK. Oh, you should I push the box behind. Him. Yes, please. Thanks, Fresh. You got it. All right, I'll roll for that. You're roll for that. For this I'm roll for. This you just. Oh my God, Phoebe.
I rolled the zero. You roll A0, you pull one of the boxes and it lands on top of you and now you are on the ground with a box on top of you with one of these guys coming at you and he screams loudly. Roll. Resist torture drugs. I'm over the box fine. It was a good plus. 15 is enough. You managed to hold on to your senses, and now he's standing above you, reaching down about to attack you. Large talons come out from between his fingers, and there's
this macabre smell of rotting flesh. 12 Roll Evasion B to 12 here. We go. 17 Yes, as he tries to swipe at you with these blades, he misses, scraping the crate on top of you and sending a chill down your spine. Do you want to tack back? Yes, I'm going to. There's a box on top of me with this, this zombie. Basically, I'm going to do a cool.
I'm trying to think like Neo. Or Trinity and do a cool like slip out from under the box and use the box to go and do a flip and jump on top of it to like attack it. So you're trying to knock this guy out with the box and then land on top of the box in a cool? I'm. Going to try athletics I'm going to use. Two luck. The box flips into the air. It does a spin around one of the corners, looking like a spinning D6 and like AD 6, like AD six.
You do a triple flip in the air, land on top of it, do a pirouette, land on top of this watchman knocking him out, and as his body hits the floor, feel your triumphant moment as he lets out a grunting way. Let the bodies in the flow. Let the bodies. In the flow. Now that two of these colour coded Watchmen have have found themselves on their specific spots, those two lines light up so blue and red light up. Come here, come here.
And the the last watchman, the the one with a yellow glow, comes walking towards Iona. He stops outside the box and starts to raise his hands. I materialize my lightning whip and what I'm going to do is I'm just going to whip it around the watchman's hands so that his hands are in my control and a kind of bondage esque, and then shock him to knock him out. Oh, nice. Yeah, roll for it. And then it's what it's a cool trick. So I get +2. I believe that chip is +3. Plus 3MM. Hmm.
So 16. 16 Yes, that is enough. The watchman spins around as you grab him. You flip the whip around and it seems to endlessly wrap its way around this watchman. The the knot spins around like 2 vines around a central piece and now this watchman is hog tied and Shibari lambs on his side. Looking at you, the last bit of the whip catches around his mouth and keeps wrapping around his head, and with the pressure around his body, he gets electrified.
The body falls into the yellow box on the ground. The yellow light around this watchman shoots along the line towards the two fields and you hear a confirmation. I I think we've done it. I think that means we did something cool. Your favorite multiverse hopping game system jumping high Production value Actual Play Podcast is back. System Switch Season 2 drops in your universe on November 16th. Bowler and Hicks have been transported into the science fiction world of scum and
villainy. Follow our heroes as they try to break out of prison. This is clearly a cell. I've seen a cell before. In any universe, this is a cell fly through asteroid belts. Break into high security government buildings. Hey, give. Me a mark there. Excuse me, I'm from the library police and punch fascists. That's always very cool. Catch up on season one of System Switch now or jump in for your first time when Season 2 premieres on November 16th.
Wherever you get your podcasts, the multiverse is a strange place. You want to check the bodies. Yeah, I'll check the bodies. Yes. Yeah, let's take a look. Let's see, I'm terrible. I'm actually going to press the button on my wrist and materialize the pink latex gloves. Nice that Remy made for me. And then search the body. 12, yes. Retro, you find a disc. Oh, a disc. Iona 19 Very good.
As you push past the digital blood, it moves as it's continues to pixelate as you see it get more and more gruesome as it stains the ground, the rope cutting into this watchman's arm. Why is he bleeding? You find a disc. And who else is looking? I suppose I'll take a look. Now the disk I find is that ACD disk or is that a floppy disk? Or is it a flying disk? It's a disk, so it's a frisbee. So I look at the disk and it
looks to be AQR code of types. So I pull out my tile and I scan it and it came up with a color code. Isn't that normally the sort of thing that Retro discovers? That's cool. Some role changing. That's cool all. Right. Sorry, Retro was busy doing his own thing. So disc 4T is, well, purely the color red. Disc 40. 4T. 4. T. 4T got it 4. Zero right now 14. 4 Thomas Red oh. Oh, 40, not 40. Wait, 40, not 40? What the hell you talking about? This is an. This is an audio show 4T. Oh.
As in the number four, the letter T. It's all coming together. Right FF it's a hue, it's it's it's a hex hue. FF0000 which is red. That's, that's 4T, yes. Oh, and disc J7 is yellow. So what's the? Other one the. Other one must be blue. Look, yeah. I'm going to go ahead and put a disc J7 on the yellow on the yellow end of this. You put it next to the yellow body. I put 40 with the red body. I put G6 with blue. Little little, little, little, little. Nothing happened.
All right. Like, no, that's wrong. I open the door. All right, go on in. You walk into the second Chamber of this room. And there at the end, behind a sizzling force field in the air, is a well, A red glow comes from the depths of this seemingly endless hole, and from the angle that you're at, you can sort of see that it's floating, but it's pretty far down. Should we? I'm going back to get the red disc. Should we put the red disc in the well to put the? But if it's not right, then no,
no willing to come back. No, no, no. Look, there's podiums around us with what looks like disk. Slots and it looks like it lines up with the lines that come out to the other side that have then have colors on them. It sure does. I put. J7 on the one on the right, which lines up to with the yellow line that crossed the door. I put the the red in the middle slot. Who had the yellow? One I already put the yellow one on, that's J7. Oh, I had the blue one. Sorry. I'll put the blue one in the
slot. Oh, you like suspense? I'm with you. Yeah, yeah. There it is. We did it. Part of the field opens up like an archway, and across the very edge of it, digital flowers Grow Like Vines invited you to step into the Rose little sanctuary. OK, I go in. Anybody else coming with me I'll? Follow. As a bull's alcohol. You're standing next to this well, it's a steel tube coming up from the ground and they're very, very, very far down at the bottom. Is a red glowing light, Jeff.
Jeff, I can't seem to find a way in here. I tried. I can't get through. Try now. No, you closed it open. It. Oh God damn. Jeff, don't pull in. I almost see that. Trip. Oh no. Retro's staying outside just in case something happens. Here's Here's the thing. It's just like the other thing. Can't we fish it out? Or we can use a Wait a minute, I got an idea. I'm going to think about wearing a jetpack. Jeb, if you fall to the bottom of this well and die. But I have a jetpack.
Jeb, if you die in the game, you die in real life. It's true. 16 You materialize A jetpack. See. OK. Does it have fuel in it? Does it have fuel in it? I checked the fuel. It is empty. Well here I got an idea and I start tying a rope that is now there onto my. Waist. And I say here, hold on to this. Are you a 50 foot of Hampton, right? Right, Jeb. Jeb, how is this easier than fishing? Because we can see easier, hey? How's it going in there?
Odd, Really great. I'm about about to be doing some spelunking, but with a jet pack. All right, hold on. I grabbed Jeb's jet pack and I think about fueling it to the Tippity top. All right, looks. Full All right now. Move on to the rope. Here we go. You you hold it and you look at the gauge and the the tube fuel is yellow, but what fills inside it is a thick, gelatinous clear liquid that seems to hold bubbles in a very weird way and smells incredibly strongly of
alcohol. You have filled this jetpack with hand sanitizer. Jib, I don't think that's right. I mean, it looks full to me. Didn't you say you just filled it up? It doesn't look like fuel. I'm. Going to be honest, I have no idea what jetpack fuel looks like. Yes, you do. I do. I Do You know what fuel looks like, Jab. I'm very Do you know? And he looks like, what the hell does a jet pack use to fuel? Is it jet fuel? He's a gasoline. He's a fucking propane. I do. I just said it was Tum 2.
You know what color Tum 2 is? Well, that I do. I do know what Tum 2 is. Yeah, that's for sure. What is the Is the Jetpack powered by Sterno? Roll Local Expert, then Jeb. Crit fail. Crit fail. Crit fail. Crit fail. Crit fail. Ten. Yes, because knowing the color of tomb two is like a seven. So great. So it's meant to be the amber of good whiskey. Yeah, I don't know this thing. This ain't jetpack fuel. What the hell? Did you put in this thing? I don't know. Maybe it works.
Turn it on. All right. This is one of those moments when it's a really good thing that you are fast. I need you to roll evasion. Oh boy. Iona's about to kill Jeb. 17 All right, what do I roll? Oh, OK, you feel it try and ignite. And then you feel it get really, really hot in your hands. And it starts to. When I take it off my back and I throw it down the hole. Throw it down the well 20 You roll the crit.
Let's go. You throw it down the well and it flies down here, and it you see it go past the red light. And it explodes and there's this rumble. The ground literally ripples like it's a liquid, and you all have to roll evasion to see if you fall over. Jeb, you roll a 21, you jump over the ripple VV. You also jump over the ripple Rolling A-15 Retro. You jump over your ripple, Iona, You jump over yours and. Hold on, I'm getting fresh. Peas, hold on. Oops, I hit brawling. Whatever.
Fresh P rolls of 15 jumps over his I need everyone to roll AD 10. I own A roll 2. Oh shit. Wow, I need Iona and VV. Oh God. As the explosion comes to its apex, this red light comes firing up the well. As it flies up, it actually comes out of the well. And there, floating in mid air, defying gravity for but a moment, is a big red key. Retro you go to jump for it and very much miss and as you go to try and grab the key you actually start to fall towards the opening of the well Iona.
Super jump I super jump, super push us both past the well. Iona jumps into the air, grabs retro, and you guys fly across the room. Jumping through the opening of the force field and landing outside VV as the key flies through the air, you do a wicked backflip for your crit and you grab the key mid air landing on the ground and a spoon. You do a little spin. Whoa, whoa, what the what? I got it. You got? It I got the key. Oh, hell yeah. Thanks, Iona. You're welcome, right?
Hand sanitize. Hold on. Hold on. Can you get your knee off with startup? OK. Yeah. Sorry. Likes you? Would would you like some? I'm fucked. Just squat and sanitizer. All over his chest, but it feels like bits can rub and and it starts to dry. You feel your skin and you need a. Towel. I'll go get a towel. Materialize a towel roll for it. Materialize a towel in hand sanitizer and it just on on top of retro. Oh God, there's even more everywhere. This is the worst you've ever
heard. Oh, stop it. It's not that bad. Oh, and you're really crying now. If. I had two ducts. I would, but they'd be burning from the alcohol I. Mean, I mean that's one of the benefits also we're in cyberspace so. So that's nice. None of. This is real. Hey. Did you guys do anything to make sure those guys outside wouldn't like, wake up and move? One of them is tied up, the other one's beneath a box. Yeah, and.
What about the third one? And the doors lock as you see the blue glowing Watchmen walk past the window. Who's that? Oh God, we're locked in. What? Jeb? What? We're actually locked. We can't get out. We're stuck in here. Somebody that operate a a grenade launcher or something to bust this thing down. I don't think that's going to can Risky get through this again? Yes. I, I yeah. OK All right. I tap Risky. No, your phone is ringing. Oh, it sounded like risky.
They sound very similar. I Hello. Really gotta change that, that ringtone? I don't know. It's been a while. You haven't said anything. What's going? On, I'm so sorry, we we have two keys. We have two two color keys. So we we're coming. However, we did just get locked in A room. Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I know. OK, well, I'll just stay here, alone in the dark, quieter. Quieter. That's right, I'll just. Say here alone in the dark.
We're coming as fast as we can. OK, hold it. Then. Nearby I OK. I don't know if they're attracted to sound or to light. Or anything. So maybe turn off your leg. Yeah. And then stay crouched and quiet. OK. OK. I'll call you back. All right. OK. Bye. Love you. Come. Don't forget to say me. I have risky. OK, Ellen. Oh, OK. Risky. I need you to you see that blue watchman? I need you to lure it to that blue box. Ellen. All right. A little heavy on the woos, but that's OK.
It risky falls to the ground and walks through the force field again. This seems to be a force field that lets non organic things through and it walks up to the Watchmen roll for it. How are you getting the? Whoa for it. Whoa for it. Whoa for it. Whoa for it. Fuck it. Bureaucracy 21 and the watchman gets attracted to Risky. You're all 21, so I can't really argue that's not working. And attracts this this creature to the blue box on the ground. The line lights up and the
windows open. Everyone roll evasion. As long as you roll over A1, you walk through. #4 Watchmen Watch VV 12 Yes Spoon 20 Yes, I own a 20. Yes fresh, doing a great job and retro. Philip 21. Everyone makes it through the field and the watchman walks towards the wall where Risky is. He's facing away from the wall at the moment and the force fields close once again. I shoot it in the back of the head. 18 Yes, you shoot it in the back of the head and it dematerializes into a haze of pixel.
I mean, I guess we better just put them all down there, huh? I'll shoot the other one. I I guess. 21 You shoot the yellow one and he fizzles into a lightning bolt. Mid air that's yellow, and then that cracks and disappears into dust. A coin falls. Oh fine baby. Go ahead. The last one. I smash it and crush it with box. 13 Yeah, you grab the box and you push down and you feel the box crumple like a can and you suddenly have unfathomable strength as you crush on top of him.
You feels the bones of this digital fiend underneath here crack. His body splats into blood. Unfortunately, you rolled well enough to hit him, not well enough for the for the digital blood to stain your digital white coat. And now your legs are covered in pixelated blood. Oh, not good. Oh. What did my coin give me? 100 Eddies, hey. OK. All right, well, we solved 2 puzzles. We've got 2 keys. It's time to find Bendel. Next time on no latency I. Was afraid for that, I know, but
we are on our way right now. I think we have everything to get into the room where you are. Is everything all right? No. Nothing's all right right now. Have you not been paying attention? It smells good. You've never looked better all oiled up like that. I'm just glistening right now. Feel free to report it, they don't work for us. What if they climbed on the walls or something? Oh, like spiders. I'm just a gobble a hat. Or a man is a spider in a clown costume still?
Wait a minute, I think I got another idea. Do you think there's time? Holy shit. Go Vendel. No, Vendel. Motherfucker, look at me. Wait. What the hell? What? There's gotta be another life. Happy Halloween. That's the scariest thing of. All where is there a yellow key? Why are you glowing? Are you going to make this saw? Please yes I I almost got it. I'm stuck. I just need a a few more minutes are. You going to make a saw here? Seconds maybe, baby. Get your hand out of vendor's chest.
Thank you for joining us on our adventure once again here. At No latency Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at No Latency Pod, check out our website at nolatencypodcast.com. And if you'd like to support us further, we have a Patreon get exclusive content, spin offs, bonus episodes, bloopers ad free episodes and so much more with weekly content to say thank you to our supporters and even spice up your own cyberpunk red games at home, no matter what level your support.
Thank you again so much for listening. We literally couldn't do this without you. And of course, we'll see you next time in Night City. Thanks for listening, Jim.