S2E31 - Escape the CADS - podcast episode cover

S2E31 - Escape the CADS

Jun 21, 202339 minSeason 2Ep. 31
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Episode description

S2E31 - Escape the CADS

The last few moments before they take out this terrible place from the face of the badlands must go smoothly or they all could die. It's going to take a lot of persuasion, some quick thinking and some climbing to get out. But then, how are they going to get back?

Can they fool Seven?

Will Jeb remember to stretch?

What are they going to do, hover home?

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Transcript

Last time on no latency. So we killed the mama. Kitty. Hi 7. Are we really trying to psychoanalyze? And that's gone. Insane. Oh God. No. Do you have something to do with this seven? I mean, we've taken on way more than two-thirds before. I have a different Bill done. I'm run up and shoot. Please wash your hands. They do smell good though. You're talking at like a mile minute. 'Not there and we are you. All right?

I'm not done with the problem. You all were just talking to like really, really slow and taking way too much time to handle. 27, could you let me open the door, please? Oh God, please grab the body. Well, you didn't want to do it yourself or I'll do it. Oh my God. Randy, please little bit easier. If you weren't such a dick 7. All right. What do you see in there? Well, it's the cats and I see a computer. Oh, should we just walk in? Okay, I'm just walking in.

Well, I'll just make sure there's another one of them turds or something. Well, if you, I don't see a turd in here. If you want to open the Sample Room, you can we don't need any samples. And I don't think you want a sample of this? No, I don't think I want to say I play this at all. Not at all. Nope, down at all. Nope, especially after last time, I think it's staying. I don't even know why we had to disable that last. Time. It's gross. Yes, it is there another worm in there?

I don't know, we haven't looked. I'm going to look at how a warm. Yeah, I should know this. I'm breaking it down, but I knew what the worm is all about the word. You extract body fuel. Pies out of a worm. Do not remember this. We got one back at the bar in the basement. It's disgusting. It's wrong and how I would put it makes really weird squelching sounds inside of its tube Yeah, it's are member now but you said Worm but it is you know is girthier than it is tall.

Corrects, it is more like a grub rat. Hmm. I was thinking of, but I think that works better. Yeah, the the description helpful so the audience knows what it looks like. Yes. Kind of, you know, palest pinkish got some weird veins pig as you talk about it. Black like a chode. Yes. Now, what's that? Even got one eye. It is black. It is a black Worm darker than that, it break it or not. Yes, Breakin, that's what the worm looks like. It's just pull that up on your tile. He get.

This is what it looks like. Wow, you have that handy, like I keep records and everything. Hmm, retro. Nice job on opening that door. I'm better with my fingers and my feet, apparently. And in front of you is a wall with a door in it and a security panel. Fuck. And hold on. I got when I get the hand that I used from the other one. And I slap it on the security panel. Again he confirmed please enter the four-digit pin. Oh 69 69 put that in put it in maybe it'll actually work if

that doesn't work it's 0420 or 8:00. 8:00 it is not 69, 69 00, right? Just rolled it, then it's, that course, it is. I mean, they are a bunch of scientists all they think about is, well, its innards breasts. Yes. I mean, there's like ten common, passcodes the door with pistons open and there, on the ground, in the middle of the room is a dead body. And again, his head is where the damage has come from. A large portion of his skull has blown open from the inside.

This room on either side of the room on the left. Right? Is a large glass cabinet that is locked with a little keypad side, with Bunches of vials, in Long rows, as no worm in here. All right. Well, that was a bust. Do do I check the body. Is there anything of interest on the body? Roll for it? All right, where's the tickle button? Retro you rolled 17 on perception and as you rummage through this guy's body, you find ten ammo, 300 Eddie's, and A little pouch of synth Coke.

Fuck. Yeah. Oh no, Remy. You should really take it easy with the Synth Coke. Coursing course, I'm going to take it easy. I'm II, look, I'm a little bit. In fact, I think I've been Fair, I've shared it with a bunch of people today so far. All right, so okay yeah let's go just let that be all this torture drugs look if his heart explodes I can't fix it. We'll just replace it with Computer part, I assume 12 12 is not enough retro if the use of wasn't his heart explodes and Coke.

They are natural additions. That reflux is lowered by two points. And lets the user is currently experiencing the primary effect of since Coke last four hours. So, for the next four hours, you continue to have the benefit, although it does not stack as it goes, was already running low on the last one. That's why I just did another bump so Bob smart, but he's we might have Take him to Sawtooth unless you have any like blood flush or something. I don't. I I also don't like well you'll

ever wished you had teeth. I do have to throw me. I also have teeth. Yeah, we put on, let me check. Yep. I got teeth. Why did those sound like wood chipper that wouldn't you? You gotta brush twice a day, you got to keep them gums flowers because otherwise the teeth they just fall out. Yeah, well they do would give have easily replaceable teeth

now in the year. Yeah. When we in, they have that out in the Badlands and it was like, 12. I forgot what I felt like I haven't felt teeth and well over it. They're more. They're hard and they they wiggle around a little bit when you chew your teeth, shouldn't meddle. Your teeth should wiggle. Well, they're supposed to be just like rock salt in there. Yes, Jeff oh Jep, I think it might be wise for you to like, see a doctor PV. Do you have any Dental specified

specialization? He's gonna need of a dental, professional for that. I mean, saw tooth is called Sawtooth. Maybe Vivi, I don't know why you're laughing. You are very serious. Are luxury bones. We don't want any of the we're good. We're going to leave. There's no worm. So we just gonna pick, it's all the same shit in here. So yeah, I think we're done. Can sample. So and seven already gave us a lot of what I assume is arisaka. He's probably than the a eyes or

something. We basically made arisaka useless in that City probably for a while. Oh The Syndicate? Yes, that's it right to, you know, stuff. I oh no, you guys, I found out things. It was weird that the the stuff in that room like that. It looks like it's a two-part compound so they had like them separated. That's Cool. I guess that we learnt that, I I don't know why the GM would bring that up.

Same this it's just something I wrote about it that I haven't had an opportunity to put in the narrative so if you could just like go with it, that would be great. Very suspicious. No Lord continue to dude sit down at the computer and in front of you is the file system and security Pretty console, for both sevens, AI Core. And the cad system removing your core, like, you asked me to, I literally just said that I'm removing your core. Like you asked me to take it with me.

I don't know. What do you want me to do with it? Throw it in a river. No, it's an option. Yeah, we know, are we gonna bring them with us? So we killing it. And it them, has anyone considered that I'm lying? You know, you're a good liar because I believed you, I also believed you, I thought you were serious, I decided was a Corporal natural thing to lie. Yes, I'm taking you with me. Okay. Know what I mean? The final things that I need from.

You are how to get your system out and how to get all of us out of here and your core and I open up the hatch. Are you ready to go? We, if memory serves we have to like run after this is that right? Yes. Pull the thing. Push a button run. Is everyone ready to run? I know, I know Remi is I'm just gonna stretch out first, hold on, make sure you get all stretched out. You know what? That's great, dad to get mosque. And started would like, it is good to stretch before running.

Yes, of course. Now, it's important that, you know, you got it, I stretched every single day because you never know when you might need to be nimble and flexible and then, Jeb just does the splits Roll and Roll persuasion. Jade in didn't know Jebediah. When you didn't do it bad. meanwhile wild I own a roll the 23 + 10 + G 7 believes you Saving me, so that's what I mean. You showed initiative, which I own a likes, I do, it's very Cutthroat. We could use you.

All right. Well, don't forget to activate the cats that stuff. All right, everyone ready? Have you recovered from racking yourself Jebediah? Yep. Yeah. Jeb Take 2. Hp damage. Yeah, that makes one for each. No. No. Take Take 3 HP damage one for each. Now, we're at what? Well, that's good - Cannon. I've learned. I learned so many new things about Jim medical anomaly. Yeah, I'm ready? Ready to run. All right, well, here I go. I'm going. Gonna go. I'm going to open the hatch

first. And do I see? Just how to take out the core? Yeah, a handle over a cylinder push honey. Turn around and pull? Yeah, just like those batteries. All right, I open the hatch and I will activate the cad system, right? You tap on the computer roll, bureaucracy the ravishing Very, very pretty sure. You're sure you're sure. You're sure. You're sure a 19. Yes my finger hovers over the button, a bead of sweat Falls from my brow. I look at everybody.

And I press it. Hey, no, latency listeners. It's spoon I pledged a on no latency, but I also produce the brand new show system switch and it's called system switch because every few episodes we take our same beloved characters and throw them into a completely new universe in the form of a new role. Playing game. Will go from steampunk to cyberpunk from fantasy to sci-fi from romantic comedy too. Dark comedy from D and D, 2 calls, Cthulhu and everything in between.

So join us on our wrong, through the Multiverse By searching for system switch on your favorite podcasting app. John start to the new jobs, activated vacate or die, vacate or die. I choose like a. Let's go. The room fills with the red light. I think we probably should go now. Yep. Time to run. I push down, I turn and I pull out the AI Core and I throw it back out the last door. Oh, but I can't. It's locked. Why is this door? Flocked tongue at the door.

Locked behind you, when you activated the cats. All right, well, the corners out we can't do nothing. Well, this the emergency door is also locked. Why, when you throw the core across the room from the bottom of the core is a huge long piece of Flesh attached to the back of it. And the doors around. You are locked. You hear the building start to Crunch and bend. Around you and the AIA course slides back to the whole image clicks down and turns.

And you hear a hum lied to me. I did not lie. I dropped the AI Core. You lied to me. I have cameras. Well, your cameras must be faulty and I go and I gotta push it down. I turn and I pull it out vanilla, please. Please, sever the flesh, then they'll pulls out. I saw a real sword. Sword sword, sword sword sword sword sword sword. Cut the flesh tendril in half and it flicks and squirts blood everywhere.

Blood Cascades. It's not a create Cascades across everyone, the less you have an evasion of a to hire. Oh, good. I just stuck. Try to evade. You will not be successful. I'm going to try anyway. Oh God, that's a crit fail. So definitely not. I'm gonna The most Blood also, you are very Muffler because of cat, there's a microphone and lvv and Iona you will get splattered with blood Jade. He rode a crit fail it goes across your phone now.

Jeb and retro the blood mrs. You as you both step back in unison. Oh, we both actually do the mom thing. We put our hands up to each other's chests and help push. Each other back though. It's been doing each other though. Yes, but we won't do it. Just like both just step back. That's gross. And then Del takes their glass sword and shoves it right through the center of the AI chord. It's split in half in the ground and little spots Cascade everywhere. Brett stroke, you unlock the door.

Oh my God. Oh my God. There's about time we get out of here it's gonna be okay. We should be alright it's gonna be fine. Retro roll the clip retro. Ha ha just roll their final form, then Del pushes I own. Into the escape hatch. Pushes you all into this room. Come on, everyone. Let's climb the ladder. All right, let's first I have just squirted sanitizer on my hands so my hands are slippery. All right, roll sanitization 3, good, yes, hmm.

You make your way up? Everyone roll Athletics as you climb them. Goodness. Yes, yes. Only stretch to because we're good and we stretched our we get about us. Enough to get up to the next level, and you are on that third floor behind all of the room, secret chamber. Now you can hear the building Crunch and Billow around you like a ship, sinking water steam sprays out. You you will manage to avoid much of the danger below with yet again, got to continue climbing the ground, roll

Athletics again. Yes you do 19:16, 18 and 12. L've and struggle. A little bit of a struggle. You're the last to come up. Get up to the second floor. And you see the ladder start to buckle below running out of time. She has activated countdown time ago. Oh gosh. Make it up to the next floor. One more Ladder rung to go one more Athletics. Check check. I only you go, first. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's fine. You know, I know and as you're doing that, be be in a panic with seeing the, the ladder Bend below. You, shoot up, you're already on the next floor, retro your along bit, further behind and Jab it. You're a little bit ahead of retro, but the bottom of the ladder, Iona and then Del have got into a polite argument. You're my boss. You should go first. Yeah, but I'm here to protect you right now and I need you to go but like now first he's you're okay right?

And then Del steps onto the ladder and as they walk up they push down and the bottom of the latter snaps off evil eye. Oh now I see that happen. I immediately take my cyber arm I fire it down, grab Iona by the collar and then just Rock right now. That is a Crip failed but it's still 20. So As you're pulling, I own up by her neck, you do actually cause a 1 HP damage. However, you do save her life, Iona as you are pulled up to the final floor, you all are standing the lobby is before you

keep going. Leave, I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm stuck behind all of you go and you run out to the lobby. And they're on the ground is the 14. And as you look down upon it, you can see a crack developing in the ground. Okay, keep running. Keep running. I want to see some real speed. Bitch. Zoom. And now you're in the cave system. No, we were before cigar still hear the bass crushing behind you and Iona they're gonna set off a big-ass bomb Underground. I'm gonna rid of.

Maybe you should get out of here. We're going to run away from an explosion running GM. I don't know why you're telling me this is we got enough light? Is it left or right? It's I'm gonna go with last Left is correct in the road. You have another Choice. Jeb, is it left or right? Your, the Bloodhound Smell like food. Okay, great. And you come into a big opening with scrapes on the walls, you actually see bits of the rock crack, as well as parts of the foundation.

Holding the lab underground come apart and affect the rock structure itself. You get to a final opening run out into the Badlands, the rocks, and it explodes behind us, and we run away from a giant explosion. Yes, run away from a giant. What is it called? When rocks fall in one car? There's a cave in as a KB. There's a cave in behind you as The Rock Falls to close the cave. You're now standing in front of what used to be the Cave opening.

A we are we far enough away from a nuclear bomb know if it's underground more? Okay. Do we climb up the Ravine? Yes. The silver ropes and stuff? Yes, that's nice. Do you want to go first, Iona or? Oh my gosh. I guess you're going first. And you all make your way up the right, everyone roll, Athletics with the exception of retro and Jeb. You can also use your abilities if you want. Vivi, you make it up, retro you make it up.

Iona, you make it up. Jeb fires is grapple gun in ass ends up 26. You make it to the top and just as you're about to shoot, you're going to have to help Vandal. Because you notice that the piece of rope, they can reach snaps off in their hand. Erotic Rafael.

I try to grab him on the way up the A bond to your hand and push up with their leg roll leg, roll egg, roll Eggroll, Eggroll egg rolling 23, the extra amount, just shoots you both up helping, the little motor inside of your grapple gun. Shoot, you to the top of the Ravine, you're quite high up. Now, there's a lot of rock between you and that nuclear explosion. It's a not a big one. It's very small nuclear explosion because field Sound Rumble as it goes off. Well uh tactical nuke.

There you are in the early morning. Now standing in the desert as Wind Blows past you you look to your right and there's a giant broken spaceship and you managed to get out of this bio lab safely, who worry? We Turner's morning it. Let us look at a sunrise, everybody. Sloane's. Good to see you. Babe, you have to roll for that, you know, getting that for free. Let me see that bird, way, the far away on the other side of the city.

It's dude, like, a day or two. How is it meant to know where you are? It's got tracking Beacon. Beak Beacon. All right. No. Have to come on. Jeb. Roll the bullshit for it. Weird. Usually a picks up after the first thing. Are you kidding machine answer? I don't know what's going on. So then they'll kind of turns around looking across this giant flat desert. Not a person in sight. No clouds in the sky. It is. Clear out here how, how we gonna get back? Does anyone have any service?

Oh, well, that would explain why she didn't answer. Okay? Intro fans just coming down at the same Coke. You've still got three hours you should come down from that high. It's not going to be great. I could tell you that much. This could be bad. Yeah. So we better get out of here fast but also have EV how it grows another bomb. How indeed. Well Jeb do you know the way are we going to start walking and hitchhiking? I'm gonna go games back to not silly but I were good.

I have a question. We'll have to hitchhike. Like you'll have to roll perception to work out her for you. I was going to ask the question, does the ship have one of those like parachutes for landing? Can I try to Fashion a sail out of it and maybe get the ship to move off of the ship? Will not move on the power of a sale. It is far too. Heavy. Damn can make a sale at make a skiff. Skiff, scaf.

Let's get it is. 51 miles away. We're like, we're like a good 50 miles away or so, it's gonna take you a few days as you walk through the desert. That's at least three days. Three days. 51 miles a few days. When you kidding me. Wait, y'all never, you never back back before? I'm foot. Yeah, it'll take at least a day and a half two days. Yeah. Well, two days. You guys are walking 25 miles a day if you just keep whining. Also in heels. So, two and a half days. It, cool.

Let's just trying to lighten the mood again. Do people come through these parts often. Maybe we can just, you know, rope reception to see if you see Rich hike, okay? In the distance, you can see a pole with a sign on it. Night City, 49 miles that? Yes. Okay, well, we're gonna die out here and that's it. We know the direction home. Yeah, three days. We'd have much water. Do we have what we need to hydrate out here. We've got all of the survival rations.

He's from the Escape pod. Retro you've you're making a sale, right? So we just need something that we can all ride on. That will pull the sail if we can work out how to make that, move your butt. Do the do the do the survival rations? They got that. Do you have heard water? I hope I've still got my water bottle. No, no. I don't my drink broke on the ship. That's right. Damn it. They will you what are you add dehydrated water to make it water.

You said water water? Yeah. It adds the electrolytes and and the flavor that you want. Oh, so it's like a ringers sort of. Well, we're going to die. No, no, we don't get it. It's be fine. Retro, could you start making the sale? Yeah, I would like the sales. I mean, what is it for? Having this particular ship? It's going to be a pretty big parachute, right? Yeah. But the parachute won't be able to pull that vehicle at all. Correct.

Will have to make something So I'm going to try to rip the doors off. Okay. And refashion, the handles to be like foot like you can slip your foot inside. And then, oh my God, the sale. So that way you could have four for one for each of us and try to use that as the catch the wind that we could. All sand Glide across the desert using parachutes, surfing on the Wind, okay? So it's just going to click along the ground. It's a shame.

We do anything that hovers, you know, there's one thing that might be helpful in this situation. I thought my boom box and I just found the time for DJ Qualls. No, no, I'm not really in the mood to sing right now now, and I press the rewind button on it and a Out, comes a giant hoverboard, a giant hoverboard ice giant hoverboard. We can like makeshift this thing. Don't ask where I got it. It's a long story.

But wait, where'd you get it? Sorry, don't ask, that's where I got it from my ex, what that's all. Oh yeah. X is a loose term. We dated once we want one day but I took it from I saved his life so this was payment. Oh, so you did a job for bad day, okay. Anyway, we could probably make shift this and maybe this can get us back in a faster speed than the stock. This thing this thing looks like the, the like Wing that the Green Goblin rides around. Is exactly. It is exactly that item.

I jump on it, like the Green Goblin, like, ya know, you're showing us how it works. Wow, that's fast dust spurts behind you as Retros. Splicing this thing together, retro role to splice. Okay, I'm just gonna be honest. If everything goes 30 miles an hour on see why, we just don't have to go into town and then drive a vehicle back to us. We'll just chill out in the space. I don't want to destroy everything. Yeah. No. I don't think it would not, right?

I'm gonna just you just, you just hear. You could just put a little problem, is the only has enough lift one person so you could use the sail to give it enough lift for all the people to fight. That's a really cool plan, okay. Skipping across the fucking fight. That's cool as fuck. I would one of us might fall off and at 30 miles an hour, all good. I'm just saying possibility. I think we'll be fine 25, you

got a 25, dang, you? Attach the sale to this big panel of metal that you've started weld together. Now that Phoebe showed you this hoverboard, which you attach to the back of the sheet of metal to turn it into the engine for your skiff, like motorboat on the sand. Now, someone's gonna have to Stand on the back of the hoverboard to control it. Actually I'd love to do it be honest I don't want to do it since I seen it. You you can jump. I will allow it.

That's really nice. Is your hoverboard? That's so cool. Have. Yes, I'm feeling I'm feeling nice. My feeling nice. You're not, you're not just feeling a sense. Tiny use it to, that's crazy. I mean you did fly a spaceship so it's true. All right, everyone. Retro. Great job. Thank you Dona. You can have the middle seat, good. Then I won't fall off. Hell, I'll hang on to the end and Edge. And Vivi, if you could hold the other side of the sail, we're probably gonna have to do stuff.

Yep. All right, retro get on. All right, I know I crashed and that retro kind of slumps over underneath Jeb's legs on my face has the technical difficulties Bed and like The Simpsons one where there's a drunk guy behind the camera and just send out pulls out the safety. Rope from your bag and ties you to the panel. No more local boys for me. I'm passed out. All right, Jeb, get us out of here. Yep. Let's go.

Whoa. It's like handles, it takes a little getting used to and you start sailing towards the sign. Skirt around the sign with a cool scared and head towards night city as the wind blows past, you you are reminded that you have blood on my face blood on your face but also you have a mask in your bag and a whole thing to set the wind hitting you. All right? I put the mask on actually. I wipe my face off and then I put them as well wipe your face off roles and it has a rose and

decision. For yes, you sanitize your face, the aloe vera inside of the sanitizer, makes your skin feel fresh as the wind makes it feel Cold, very nice, put on your mask so that you can breathe better and you're a lot more comfortable, which gives you a little bit more concentration as everyone has to roll and Athletics check as you go flying for a walk. Well sorry I didn't see that. Jeff. I told you to be careful. Sorry, what what do you want again?

Just Athletics. Athletics, everyone rolls great retro, you don't own. The DVD was knowing retro. You don't need to roll because you are tied to this makeshift vehicle. And with that last check, I've got a pretty straight shot way back to my city. What do you think, gasps? Think I could pull off a real quick kick flip. No, Chad not with all of us on it. Please don't break my heart for bored. Next time on no leaf. I've never been so happy to see the city and quit any time I

want. Where is someone going to college car or let me look full disclosure ain't mine? It is mine. Just been on a hoverboard for 2 hours. So it felt like the Milky Way, what became my blood and I just became everything we save the cat. We say forget, yeah, we've been out for a very long time and I just I need a Hot bath and a drink. He's going to do it again. Everybody here, I've made all this stuff while high on coke rummy loves doing drugs. Well, now because we do love our

Franklin, let's be clear. I don't want him to get hurt or nothing. How many IVs do we need slot to really stick it into his but I got it. Yeah, it hurts real bad. That is very unnatural. Yes. Oh yeah, there it is. Oh, I was choked really hard. Thank you for joining us on our adventure once again here at no latency. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at no latency pod, check out our website at no latency podcast.com and if you'd like to support us further we have a patreon.

Get exclusive content spin-offs bonus episodes of bloopers ad-free episodes and so much more with weekly content to say thank you to our supporters and even spice up your own cyberpunk, red games at home. No matter what level your support. Thank you again, so much for listening. We literally couldn't do this without you. You and of course, we'll see you next time in night City. Thanks for listening Jim. You and of course, we'll see you next time in night City. Thanks for listening Jim.

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