This time on no Latency side quest Junk wars. You purposely make me show up to the beginning of the junk round, Jeb. 'S been pulled back into the desert and now he's got to build a team I'm. Actually looking for a team. Jeb finally gets to crew up with returning friends. Anias Morgan. TT's on mechanic. Dan Hutton Coyote and Chris Stormby. It's always good to have friends. With a new face Kyle Love from System Switch. Declan, D Danger.
Are you me from the future? Together, they'll do some salvage. 30 minutes. Still. Salvaging we get too right? Take on some truck. Seems like one of the other teams broke your partner's leg. What? About the VV villains. And even take on Widow's gulp. Why is it called Widow's Gulp? You want to be in. Join us this junkyard July in a Cyberpunk RED racing adventure that will have you on the edge of your seat. Garden. That's a little much. OK, well, now we're talking.
D stands for Danger. Oh boy. Oh. Yeah, that was it. Hey, Jeb, sorry to call you out of the blue. Got a problem out in the desert. Major Hill. Norm's been hurt. We're at the junk run. Hurry up. All right, Jeb, you arrive at the junkyard at the South entrance to this huge town in the desert. You step off your bike at the opening to this compound, and to your right you see a gaggle of people and a few buildings, and over the peaks of the walls you can see a giant mound of trash. What?
Do we have here? What do I what? I guess I'm going to pull out my my communication device. What do you do do? Norm, what the hell are you? I just got here this piece of crap. Jeb. Yeah, where is this place? Some junkie. Storm had to go back. Come meet me in the board. It's up like N to the east. Wait, who am I talking to? It's. Right, dickhead. Oh, my God, Fred, I'm so sorry. It's been a while since I heard your voice. Hey, it's good to hear from you. And just so you know, did you?
Did you, did you purposefully make me come to the beginning of the did you purposely make me show up to the beginning of the junk run? Oh hell. Your brother. Hold on. You. You. Are you telling me we're going to join this race? Go. Meet me in the bar I'll talk to you in. A minute. Oh, God damn. All right, I'm coming. And Jeb, you head up towards the the sort of compound area. Listen rave, it's been a while and. Rave has hung up. So you come to this?
This OK? Yeah, ready to hung up on you. In front of you, you see a bunch of buildings in the distance. You see a building in your left with a red roof that has bar written over the top of it. On your right, beyond a building that says office is a shot of some description. And then on your left seemed to be two bathrooms in a stage. And he said to me at the bar, yes. So I, I head to the bar through a bunch of people. Oh, yeah, no, sorry. No, I'm, I'm listen, I'm not
even sure if I'm here to race. OK? No, no, put that away. Get. My shoulder, Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you? Dave. Well, hi Dave. Pleasure, you see. My where your step brother? You see, my friend, I forgot his name already. Rave. See my friend rave. Rave Oh, oh, the old guy with the with the arm. Yeah, that's the one. He's in the bar. A pleasure. All right, spoon move. You can move your token up into
the bar and do a little explore. As you enter into the bar, you can see that Rave is at the back North East corner, leaning on a tall bench. Rave. There you are, man. Listen, if we're going to be joining this this race, I'm going to be straight up honest with you. I have no idea how to build cars. Listen, I can, I can, I can drive them. I can ride bikes. I have been known to fly a thing or two, but normally that's our
owner's thing. Listen, point is, I can drive it, can't make it. Well, Jim, you're going to have to use your charismatic panache to find us some people to make that thing run. Oh. My aunt let's let's. We owe a lot of fucking money, brother. I'm going to bet everything on you and you're going to fucking win. Oh, is that what we're doing? OK, all right, all right. And we fade away from Jeb accepting his fate here in the junk. Tank, that's what I think. I'm biting the hook. Exactly.
And what screeches into the area is a a truck. There is a a big van and in this van is a bunch of people. They screeched to the South of the area. So. It's like a, it's like an audio book, but they like cut out the parts where it's like, she said, he said. And there's a bunch of music in the background, and that's my new jam, basically. Oh, OK, cool. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's nice, but it's a little too exciting so I can't fall asleep do it. I have to listen to House. OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That you should send me your recommendations sometime. Yeah, absolutely. I think we're here. Awesome. You know what really wake you up? My CDCEO. You can't fall asleep to listen to some neo death metal. Neo Death Metal. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. I it's not really my jam normally but like I'm always down to track I'm. Just saying I'm just. Put it in right now if you only. Want to listen? You said you wanted to stay awake, so that's true.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, we, I mean, we can listen to it right now if you want. Yeah, I could put it on. Yeah, put it on. It's fine. We can, we can. I got to find parking anyway so. And and saw, I imagine saws in the backseat and he takes up the entire backseat. He's, he's 6-8, like 320 of just pure meat and he's just, and he just reaches forward and like puts a little chip in the radio and you just hear the most guttural loud, just death metal
growling music in the speakers. Some I, I told you, I told you you'd like it. But I, I, that warms my heart. That warms my What was your name again? I know you picked me up down the road and you were going the way I wasn't. And we just came back here because my band didn't show up. What? I turn the volume down so I'm Coyote. This is teensy. We are best friends. Coyote Teensy. I'm saw. Cool name. It matches the music though. I understand you got a vibe going here.
Yeah, yeah, it's sure for sarcophagus. That's my last. Name Cool. That's cool. It's kind of. And also, and he lifts up his forearm and he flexes and his forearm opens up and you see a chainsaw within his forearm. Wow. Yeah, I got that installed just a short while ago. I like that that's. Cool, thank you Coyote Teensy. Pleasure meeting you 2. It's always good to have friends around. Yeah. Yeah, I got a good friend she owns like a bubble. Tea shop. Her name's her name's Vivi. She.
Oh, my God. Vivi. Vivi. You know, best friend. Vivi's my other best friend. So. You got. To come see this, you got to come see this. And I, I hop out of the van and I open his door and so we can get a better view of the, the van. Art. So you see, this is the three of us. There's three mermaids on this rock and they kind of look like the three of us because we are best friends, but she's always so fucking busy. I never fucking see her anymore.
She's saving lives instead I. Know I trust she's just like a good person. She's just like a. Really, she's a good I tried to apply for the security position and for the bubble tea. Cafe. Yeah, it just didn't work out. I was really too intense, drank too much matcha. Yeah. Oh, that's the yeah, that's OK. Yeah. I didn't know you went there. That's like our spot. Like we're there every week, like.
All the time. I've been there once when I applied for the job and then me and Vivi, we went on a job together. So wait, so you went to the Bubble Tea Cafe 1? I know Vivi and I have done jobs in the past. So you thought you could get the? Yeah, you know, the the the friend benefit, you know. Yeah. Hey, Miss Vivi installed my chainsaw. It's called Gore Grinder, by the way. That's cool name. That's very cool. She installed it and then she was like.
And and you all are like in your van, blocking the entryway to the junk. Just you're honking. And and behind you, a car comes up behind you and honks. Hey. Get off the wall. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're trying to get it. All right. OK, hold on, hold on. Let's let's hop back in. But that. That's beautiful artwork. Thank you We. Should probably. We should probably park the van. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. All right, Coyote, roll a driving check to find a parking space. Throw for parking, geez. Lonely squeeze. Get -1 because there's someone behind you constantly shouting at you and asking. Yeah, it's fair. 24 -. 1 is what you said. Yeah, 2323, yeah. Effortless. You find a sneaky little spot beside a building that has the label mess on it all. Right. Well, we're here. I saw I, I you're welcome to hang out for a bit if you want. Do you mean it? Yeah, yeah.
I'm more the merrier. It's it's, it's also like a public event. So like, it's not like we're not going to kick you out. That would be crazy. No, no, no. I understand. I no. You can hang out with us. Yeah, yeah. That's not I can hang out. Yeah, it's going. To be so cool. I was supposed to play and a friend of VV is a friend of mine. There we go. Fantastic. So I was supposed to play see that, that stage over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that that stage to the left of the crowd, my my band Corpo Corpse was supposed to play there for the the the show for the race, but they they didn't show up. They didn't show. Up No. Friendship. Field so tonight after you know, that everyone builds their cars and everything like that. We were playing tonight on that stage. That's that's that's the spot. First time they've never had a live band at this event before. That's what the organizer I think his name was. He's a junk master.
That's what the junk master said. That's pretty sick. That's kind of like making history a little bit. Why would they not show up? Are they OK? I know, but hopefully they'll be in the night. So because that's like, you know, that's when we play. Yeah, well, if they don't and you need anyone to scream, I'm. That's true. Honestly, I, you know, I'm not a musician, but I was listening to your music and I bet I could play it.
I I look, if anything happens, honorary members of Corporal Corpse. Absolutely, yeah. Friend of VV is a friend of the band. I love that. I guess we should like walk around, scope out some of the some the zones, scope out some of the competition that's rolled up. So are you guys like builders? You guys like mechanics? TT's a builder. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a I'm a tech. I'm a tech.
Oh, OK, but I'm I'm newer to the to the vehicle to I normally am like doing like weapons and electronics, but like I've been getting really in to like land vehicle tech stuff. So like this is so cool. Yeah, and I'm, I'm not like a full on racing driver or anything, but I, you know, VV once told me I was good at driving, so that gave me all the confidence I needed. You got to be a good driver to to race in a race. Yeah, I mean, I think I'm good enough. Well, how about this TNC Coyote?
Were you building your car? You need someone to carry the heavy parts for you, right? Awesome. So true. Me, I'm pretty. I'm pretty strong. But I am not saying you're not I'm. Pretty strong. So I'm I'd be willing to. Often just carry stuff. My meat services. You probably will need to sauce something at some point. Yeah, he can get all this stuff off the highest shelves. That's true. That's you're much taller than us.
I'm so short. That's and I usually I have to lift up teensy to like grab stuff and it's honestly pretty exhausting so I'll. Do all the heavy lifting. Well, that sounds good. See, there you go. You don't even need your bandmates. Who needs? Teamwork. Teamwork right here. All right, Well, where we go now? So we, we, I guess we'll walk around a little bit and just see, see what we got going on. What do you not understand, Jeff? What I don't understand is why did you sign up the West Wind
Pack without having a full crew? You. I mean, listen, I appreciate the fact that you can count on me. And you did have to be here. And then someone broke Norman's leg. I had to send them all. I just I I purposely have never jumped. Last night in the pregame. Rave. It's it's a tragedy. OK, I'll, I'll be the first one to say it. OK? He he didn't deserve that. Norman's a good guy. Whatever happened to him, he didn't deserve it.
I'm just saying that it's kind of wild to me that again, I appreciate that you can count on me and you can at any moment you can call me and I'll be here to help you out. You know that to be. True. Listen to me. You're, you're charismatic and shit. You can find a crew to build, or at least, you know, improve some kind of vehicle for two days and then race it through Widow's Gulch. You've raced through Widow's Gulch before.
This ain't a normal race and you know as well as I do that the that the junk run is about building as much as it is about race. I just I purposely have have avoided this race because what what are you going to do? You know if. Your if your car breaks. Down. Doesn't matter how good of a driver you are. Car breaks down. Dude, this thing's on a punk knock. Your vehicle, whatever you want to call it. Point is, I'll do it OK? I'll do it for you.
I'll do it for Norman. I'm just, I'm disappointed that this is how I'm going to be doing. My first junk run is in a bit of a ramshackle team getting a ramshackle team together, but I suppose I suppose that is. Kind of off all. Right, Rave. Just just give me a second. All right? Let me just sit here alone. Think about my next move. You have us a drink. Oh. You want me to fuck off? Is that what you're? Saying I'm saying could could you go get me a whiskey?
Any buggers off to the bartender? Well, Declan notices that Jeb is now alone with his head in his hands and will quietly approach behind him and put a a racing gloved hand on Jeb's shoulder. I know how you feel. All right. Yeah, the fame, the money, the attention, everybody looking at you, they love you. They'll throw you away before you know it. Throw out like a cyber eyed nuke too long in the dryer. Wait. All right, My God, hold on. Are you me from the future? I'll do it.
Oh my God, I got to say I look good. I look good. I am keeping it together. I'm a little disappointed that you decided to I you, me, we decided to get rid of the hat, but. But what? What are you talking about? I'm not you from the future. Oh. My name is Who the hell? Are you? Declan you, you know me. Declan D Danger. The D stands for Danger. Oh my God, Declan D Danger. Yeah, I know. I get this a lot. I don't know if I recognize you, no. Yeah, you do you. You know me.
TV shows, movies, stunt double work. You know, the name is so it, it, it's so recognized, it's so memorable that it must be recognized. Right, You know, you know the Death Dealers franchise. Death dealers. Yeah, death dealers over the last I've been in, there's 14 installments. Yeah, I was. I was bomb Cruise's stunt double in in every, every movie. Bomb crew I know, I know. Bomb crew who don't know bomb cruise. Yeah, well, I'm, I'm the guy. You know, they always say he
does his own stunts. He doesn't do Jack. I'm the one I drive over those cliffs. My zip. Wow, that's incredible. Listen, actually, that's crazy that, that you're coming up at this point because I'm gonna be honest, I'm putting I'm putting A-Team together. You want to be in. Yeah, yeah, I already said I'll do it. Oh well. Well then. Declan, I knew you were going. To ask, I accept and and Jeb
puts his hand out. Well then, Declan D Danger, Welcome to the West Windpack. Are you ready to rock? More importantly, Are you ready to roll? Embark on an exciting adventure with No Quest for the Wicked, a multi award-winning actual play podcast.
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If you've been looking for a new, actual play show that knows how to tickle your funny bone and tug at your heartstrings, look no further than No Quest for the Wicked. This at noquestcast.com or search Noquest for the Wicked in your favorite podcast app. I know that I can trust you. I I know who you are too. You. The blood race. The words got around. I saw it. The thing Live, actually. Yeah, I'm going to be honest. You really did a number on Eddie
the trick there, didn't you? Yeah, it's not. Well, what's my proudest moment, if I'm going to be real with you? But Declan, can I call you? Can I call you 3D? Sure, That's that's fine. That's. Really fucking. Cool now or Dick. Listen, it's kind of my thing. I'm about a new name to call you every few times. Jeb inspiration for that nickname. That's brilliant. I was sitting on that one for a while. Listen, I'm going to be honest
with you. I'm going to call you every name till Sunday. It's going to be different every time, but regardless of what I call you, you don't by any chance happen to know a good mechanic or. Sushi place No mechanic. Oh no, no. I used to do all my own mechanics and. I have a question for you, Declan. Are you a nomad? Am I solo? You're a solo. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that means you're so low level. That gives you stuff in combat that's really cool. So.
You can. Find those points. I've activated that for you. You have 4 points to spend and they'll automatically roll in the sheet for you and you apply them. Cool. Now, I don't know how else to say it, but I thought that was a pretty good button, so let me try that one again. Now, Jacqueline, you don't by any chance happen to know a good mechanic. And we fade back outside, too. I'm going to say that Jeb and Declan, like, walk outside of the bar and you're now at the mouth of the bar.
Yeah. All right, you go left, I'll go right. Look for a mechanic. Where are they one? Time maybe this Her ex-boyfriend called her and I and he had his kidneys missing. What? And yeah, that was. Crazy. Kidney robbery. That's a good song name. I'm gonna write that one down. Write it down. Write. It down, write it down. And then this other time, BV and Teen C and I, we we convinced BV to do drugs and she was really.
She used to be. She used to be anti drugs and then we got her to do some drugs and then there's other. Scamps, aren't you? She's always so like, you know, put together well, you know, you never expect it. Yeah, well, that's why she hangs out with us 'cause she she gets to see no one's expecting anything from. Her one time we went on a job and there was explosives in blood. That's yeah. I feel like most jobs have stuff like that. Yeah, it's and then a couple weeks ago.
Is that right? Would this be a couple weeks later? Yes, a couple weeks ago we had to transport a body and cryogenic chambers that was AI was a therapist. A. Therapist. Yeah, yeah. Have you? Do you do therapy a lot? No, no. So that was your first time doing therapy? Yeah, yeah. You want to try therapy right now. Yeah, yeah, you good I'm. 21 Yeah, Jeb. You hear the word VV from the crowd and then you see in the middle of the crowd this really big dude.
He's like 6-5, but way taller than most people in the crowd. Grunge is grunge is anything wearing this big long leather trench coat like jacket thing. And he's obviously got some pretty well put together cyberwear on one of his arms. Shit. Decky, do you hear that? You know Vivi, you know. Vivi. VV I've worked with a lot of Vivi's over the years. Yeah, well. Specifically, do you know my VV? Let me. See what we know what's going on? Or anywhere possibly know that.
What are you talking about? I mean, they seem to know. Wait, maybe they don't know my VV? Let's go ask all. Right. Hey, sorry, excuse me, did you say VV as in Yeah, my VV? I don't know, Phoebe's my best friend, so she might not be our. Best friend, our best. Friend, our I guess, our best friend. You see saw like step in front of coyote and I keep want to say tiny. TCT, yeah. TCT Yeah. TCT. TCT.
But do do I know Jeb? Like I never met him in person during that thing, but would I recognize his? Voice Technically you rode with him in the car because. You jumped. Into the van. He was driving even though he went under, isn't it? Yeah. So he's ridden with Jeb. Yeah. After you stole the Sandovisian from the inside of that train. Oh. Boy, then my reaction is TEB. Oh my God, do I know you? I'm sorry, I have a notoriously and canonically bad memory. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You do lots of cool stuff, so you might not remember, but you picked me and the crew up from a train after we robbed it and you were getting pizza. And that was unfortunate, but. That's right. I remember like it was yesterday. It was it was a it was a it was a meat, meat lovers on one side and a combo with with mostly veggies on the other. And that's just how that's just how VV likes it. Mostly veggies. I don't understand it myself, but so you must.
Well, VV likes veggies because because she's really healthy. She's she's, she's conscious of her health because she is a medic, so. That is my VV. Hi. I have no VV. Yes BB. BB is my best friend so. Oh. My God, BB is my best friend. Is this bubble tea? That. We're talking about. Yes, yes, Bubble. Tea veggie BB. I know BB. BB is actually my best friend. Hold on hold. On OK OK, you have to roll to see if you convince everyone that you know BB because I think it's really funny.
Hold on to. Do acting acting role. Yeah, it could be acting, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So if whatever you've don't forget to add to your skills though. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, 19. 19 If anyone wants to challenge him knowing Vivi, you have to beat a 19 otherwise you believe him. OK, Yeah, we all know Vivi. In fact, I bet if we all together at the same time say her favorite color, it'll all be the same color. Ready. 123 pink green. Blue. I don't know. That's right, she loves all the colors.
Oh, it was a trick question. I see. I see. Yeah, I've never asked that before. Well. I'm going to be honest with you guys, I'm actually looking for a team to put you in and cause the West Wind Pack. Right, Jeb and me, we're looking. Oh yeah, I'm, I'm my best friend, My other, my new best friend, uh, Declan D danger over here. You may have heard of him. He was a driver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't. Don't make it a big deal. Let's.
Find those Bob Cruise. I don't watch movies, I only listen to audiobooks now so. Oh, interesting. Oh, it's because it's easier to It's easier to listen to audiobooks while you're driving than it is to watch a movie. Uh huh. Uh huh. You must be a driver then. Yeah, yeah, I am. OK, OK. I needed a copilot so this is good. TT's on mechanic she's really good at with the tech stuff I. Mean I'm new to like car tech.
Stuff. But she's on her plane because she's really very smart and very beautiful and very good at everything, so. Thank you and smart and beautiful. Our new friend saw, we just met him but he has a band. He's big. I mean, yes. Has a band he's he can reach stuff high and lift heavy things and stuff so. I also got a chainsaw in my arm. Yeah. It's and VV put it in. VV installed. Groovy. So yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't really put together stuff.
I'm more like take it apart with the chainsaw. But I could I could be useful. Yeah, to take apart the other teams, Punk. Knots. Are they all punk knots? Absolutely, yeah. Punk Knot. I think that's what that that that does the junk mask. So that's what he called them. Yeah, punk nuts. Well, please. And gentlemen. What's happening? These games put it together for the Jugmaster.
So you're looking around for it and there's just a guy with his arms folded, wearing basic aviator shades standing on the stage. Hey everyone. Crowds like. Super excited about it, garners a decent applause as you will turn to look to the stage. The Junk run begins very soon. Everybody All right, so this year we've got three teams, the West Wind Pack, Zoners and the Banana Game. That's a better name than, yeah. That's such a cool. Is her name.
Sorry, Jack. Yeah. Your name is. What is West? What is West Wind? That's that's just my that's my crew. It's I I I grew up as a W Winder. Well, it should have been named a banana. During the salvage portion, which is over 2 days, we've got rooms for the for the for the teams and, and we set up the big warehouse for them. We moved all of the shit into the junkyard. You will find out in the junkyard. You'll find these these robots. And we are kind.
Of robots and use them. For turnouts underneath the podium that is. Actually places it down the stage that was. Kind of. Wrong. It's a tiny robot. It's got a big container on the top and it's got 4 legs. These little Piggly Wigglies you guys have to chase and hold down for the good stuff. You might find something else in the trash, but these guys guarantee your shit teams. Build your punk knot for the run through over half a mile of the Widow's Gulch Canyon. They're the best team win.
Wait, the race is only a half mile? It's. Very wiggly. Jeb, I'm glad you're coming in. Oh. My God it's only longer I think this. You should think it would be too long you know. Anyway, can the teams all come to me to confirm your members and I'll lead you over to your pre made punk naughty base? Pre made that seems. Like. Weak sauce. I thought this was supposed to be like, you know, cream of the crop. Do you say that out loud too? Hell yeah.
I mean, it's a crowd. Is he really going to hear me? Thank you. You're trying to get. Really quiet, right? That moment, creamy he kind. Of looks at you, it's. But not stick 7 days and we don't have a, we have to make the basic part. OK, I would you make. You you, you can upgrade it if you're on the team. No, I mean, but like, did you make a gourmet pasta dish with like Prego? You know, like it's just, but you. Don't. Know maybe that's gonna fall after three days, so who gives a shit?
OK, alright. No, it's fine. I don't know why you're singling me out in this crowd. There's a ton of people here, but it's you got great hearing. That's what makes him the best junk master, am I right? Thank you everyone. I'll be here on the corner of the stage for the two years. So I mean. I guess. Are we all? Inside the ball. As our most people out here, yeah, all about the money these days. So for me. It's about the money. We're all on the West wind now. That's our our name can.
We can we change? That what do you. Guys think maybe we should vote? I'll be the first one to admit that it's not. It's just in terms of team name, it's not great. Personally, I have an affinity for it because, you know, I grew up as one of them. And we, we've been around for a while and I think we have some, we're made-up of some good people, some good principles, but it's not a catchy name I will meet. Well, it just, yeah, it's, I mean, it's like borderline or West West wind. What?
What was the other West wind? Pack. Pack. I'm sorry, I'm too. I'm too in. Tack. What about something like Danger Brigade? I don't like that. Or danger brigade. And the gang. I like that second one. Yeah, we. Should If anything, we should be like Phoebe's pals. You know, like we all have that in common. What about like it's? True. Phoebe's very good friends. Like bone piston or something like that. That's a little hunch. OK. Bone piston, that sounds like you pissed in your bones.
Bone Piston. Oh, pissing in bones. Good song name Coyote. Write it down. Write it down. Now what if? What if we are Vivi's voracious, voluptuous. Oh, I don't know, villains. Villains. What are the VB? Villains VB. Villains. VB Villains. Do you think we have to get permission from her to use her lackness? Absolutely not. She'll love it. I think she'll really like it. What if? What if we listen? What if we took the door off your van and put that as the
hood for the punk? Well so I have this whole I have a ton of glow paint and stuff so if you want some art on. It yes, the art is so good at art. I can give us some some cool paint on our on our thing if we want. In the distance, you can see the junk master talking to two individuals. One of them has a red mask over their face and they sort of exchange a few words with the giant master, shake his hand, point to the alley to the north and then nod and then sort of
wait nearby. The other guy, who has a piece of cyber around the bottom half of his jaw does the same. He's wearing a yellow T-shirt with big banana on his back and he shakes hands with the guy and does like the most lame forced cool handshake with him and then a mist fist bump and then kind of looks down and is handed an envelope and then also waits by the the the stage. I got to tell the junk master our new name. VV Villains. No, I don't trust you to do it. I don't trust you to do it.
I'm going to go. Do it come with me? I'm not like. OK. Whatever. Why can't we all go together? Let's just all go together. Well, I just I just thought that, you know, we'd have like the the leader of the crew go up there and. That's right. That's why I was going to go. The only way that's either VV or or. Well, since I'm VV's best friend, it should probably be me, right? Look, I got an important presence. How about it to me? That's that also tricks you out to me. I don't think so.
I'm imposed. Thank you. I think we can all go. Yeah, why don't you go up as a team as. Move. Your move your tokens over to the point of the speech. I don't think we need a leader. If anything, babies are a leader. She's just not here right now. Oh, that makes more sense. OK, let's all go together. Hey, what's up? We're we're changing our name on on the registration. Yeah, we were doing as Westgate pack, but. We're going as VV's villains
now. Well. Yeah, more, more than Burgess. Leg No, actually, I was just actually thinking, Mr. Master Sir, do you think VV's villains is better or VV's volumptuous? Villains. No, I don't like the volumptuous I. Don't. OK, I don't have them put on your game, guy. Oh, it's Jeb. Oh, hey, Jeb. Hey, master you. You can, you can name, you can name it whatever you want. I'm I'm the junk master. Yeah, yeah, we got that. He's you. You mentioned it on the stage.
Yeah, but you can. You can call me junk. Frederick. Frederick, Yeah. Maybe, maybe we should be called V VS Villains. Brought to you by the Bubble Tea Cafe as a way to drive traffic. Get us smart kick back from from this bubble tea cafe. Or are we just doing this out of our kindness of our hearts? You can't argue with that. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll swing it, you know, whatever you want. All right, right, I love it. Also, TT can just say you are a hell of a hap girl. I appreciate it.
Thank you. I feel like normally I'm the one kind of hyping everyone but to have someone hap Mia. The team is has to be 5 people ride when the race happens. Here is 2000 eddies you can use to to spend on parts at the at the shop over there and also they'll be salvaging happening in about half an hour. Grab yourself some equipment and add to the shops, check a vending machine and try not to
get into too much trouble. All right, yes, we're going to be a no holds barred when it comes to the actual race, but try not to be an asshole in the building phase. All right, fine. Hey, there aren't any porta potties here, are there? Actually, no. Oh, OK. Just checking. There's 2 bathroom buildings there. Wow, you installed? Bathrooms. In the desert, that's impressive. 0 and you what you said. I live here. You said that it was going to blow up at the end of the 7th
day. Installed bathrooms in chaos. No, no, the vehicles are going to blow up. No, I I live here in junk now. Oh Oh my apologies, my I thought the whole like little campground goes up in smoke. No, no, don't be fucking cooler. Burning Man. That would be fat ass. Good stuff. Well, cool. Thanks. By the way, Junk Master. Mr. Junk Master, Man, I'm Sarcophagus. You reached out to me about playing tonight after the the build. Saw, saw. Was it one second?
Sorry, Mr. Junk, Sir. 11 moment Hey, bud, I think you kind of can't do the whatever you just said that that can't go. We we can't be building a thing and you playing music right? I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm not much of A builder, but look. But if I'm if I'm rocking out and melting faces, you imagine. Distracting the other teams, it's not really that idea. But imagine everyone just, you know, if I tell everyone, you know that 500 on VV's villains, how metal is that?
That's pretty. That's, I think, really metal. I mean what, what? I couldn't think of another better name for a neo death metal band to say, you know, go VV's villains. VV's villains and and use all of your money to bet on the winning team. And that is us. VV's villains, Absolutely. Yeah. OK. I think I see what you're getting at. That's pretty good. I'm, I'm knocking the flake on you. I'm the last thing I am. Is a flake all right? You know something?
I saw you from across the way, mostly because you're a very large man, but thank you, because I could see you're in your eyes, that you're a trustworthy man. I, I, I get that a lot. I get that a lot, yeah. I might be big and imposing. I'm inside. I'm kind of a softy. I I have a cat. His name's Mr. My Alphistophiles. That's a really good name. I I. Thank you, Coyote. Yeah. I I also have a pet Sloan. Sorry, I had to stop the robot from flying away. Come here.
Sloan's not a cat, he's a. She's a vulture, but she's around here somewhere. I think she's having a little snack right now. Hopefully it's not your cat though. In. This moment, Teensy, you see the robot pretty close up. It's like right in front of you. Do you want to examine it to learn anything about it before he puts it away? Yeah. Oh yeah. All right, roll for that. OK, that examine is not a thing. Am I just doing perception? What am I?
You can you. I'm the GM that lets you roll for anything as long as you can justify it. So whatever you want, whatever you think is appropriate, and if you're creative, all the better. Probably your basic tech. It's probably your best sense. Yeah. What is that under body control? Technical. I made the window really tiny, now I had can't find anything.
I feel like this entire race with, I'm just realizing that with like a banana people and this ragtag group that we're putting together, we're getting awfully close to Wacky Racers. 21 You rode very well. Well done, Teensy. I'm eye level with his with his waist. So yeah, your eye level with it and it and it and it, it looks at you. It has a little, it has a little robot eye and sort of, sort of tweaks itself to the side. Hello. Oh, so cute. You say that floats. No job.
It's a turn of phrase. Yeah, but you did say early that he's going to fly away. Metaphorically, did you draw this? Yes, I did. It's very good. Thank you very much. That's cool little robot. And inside will be loot and he it's a loot bug. The junk master looks at you teensy, and he smiles. Hey. Dickhead like me. Yeah. He's my invention. They come in. There's a bigger one too. They they love to squeal off. Program them to run away. That's awesome, I can't wait to
catch them all. Yeah, don't worry about fucking them up too. I'm glad they're easy to build. So I just fucking tear them open, that's what. That's what the crab wants to see. He turns the crab, puts it up and. Goes. Yeah. He grabs it with his cyber arms and you see him sort of RIP the back of it open and he pulls out. This, this, this thing that's inside of it.
He pulls out. Oh my God, it's a. Pinata. He pulls out a large piece of an A fever engine and there's like a good chunk of like an extra engine for a punk north. And then he sort of shoves it into his bag and then throws the dead bot on the ground. Just like that I. Want to sidle up sex with Coyote and be like Coyote? Yeah, kick him in, love. With him. Something. Or with the robots. Oh, I don't know yet.
Oh. All right, I support you as long as you're making decisions that don't put yourself in harm's way. Awesome, next time on no latency side quest. 2000 Eddies. Coyote wants to get messed up. We have. 30 minutes until salvaging. Seems like one of the other teams broke your partners leg. I listen. I thought it was an accident. I'm gonna go to shop. First shop first, I don't. Know, but I've seen worse of my years. Hi, I'm here to see what I could possibly buy. We get too right?
So right now we're just starting with a floating platform. It's not on the ground. Backup wheels wouldn't be a bad idea. No one told me this was gonna fly. Well, is there a limited supply of your supplies? Let's go to vending machines. So there. Is this like a red hair I? Think we leave the boost but take the. One excuse me Sir, my friend, she's in the bathroom and I'm saving her spa. Don't hear me. I'm here. Did you hear that? I'm pretty embarrassed for him, Jeb.
I think we should get out of here. Oh God, teens, he's going to be so mad. This will help. That thing is pretty fuel efficient I imagine, so I'm just going to let that thing run. It's. Kind of nice in here. You go on I I don't want to be noticed right now. Thank you listener once again for joining us here at No Latency. Don't forget to check out all of our socials links available in the podcast description. Check out our website at nolatencypodcast.com.
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