You're listening to a MoMA mea podcast. Mama Miya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on. Hi.
My name is Sebastian. I was born in Australia and cherished my strong Spanish heritage. When I'm not at the gym, you can often find me meditating in a serene forest. At first glance, people might label me as a bad boy because of my tattoos. However, I surprise many with my old school.
Value from momma. I'm Meya Friedman and don't worry, this is no filter. You haven't stumbled into the wrong podcast.
I'm James. I can't think of anything more exciting than the thought of finding ways to enjoy the pleasure of being truly present together, whether it's cuddling to a film or exploring something more sensual together.
Will that's the voice of James that you just heard. He is a male escort who works for an agency called Her Confidant, which matches female clients with male escorts for all kinds of reasons, but mostly for sex. Her Confidante was founded by Anna Grossman, who is my guest today and the conversation you're about to hear between the two of us is going to challenge your beliefs and your ideas and maybe your prejudices or preconceptions around sex
work and intimacy and pleasure. When you think about what the owner of an escort agency might be like, Anna really doesn't fit that stereotype. She has a great origin story that you're going to love, and as you're about to hear, the men who work for her also aren't what you might expect. In fact, it might surprise you to learn that nobody in this story is a stereotype, because people are not stereotypes. Not Anna, not the male escorts whose voices you're going to hear throughout the episode,
and not the women who pay for their services. You're going to meet one of them too, because the sex industry, like every other profession, is a word place full of regular people whose jobs just happen to revolve around sex. There are many reasons, as I said, why women hire male escorts. And what I didn't expect when I sat down to talk with Anna and then a woman will call Alexandra, who is one of our's clients, what I really didn't expect is to learn so much about the
emotional side of it also sure the sex. But Anna joined me via zoom, and if I'd expected her to be all leather and cleavage and mood lighting, I would have been very disappointed because she was sitting at an ordinary table in an ordinary suburban home her home, dressed like any other woman my age that you might see in the street. And that's what sparked my first question, what kind of career path leads you to owning a male escort agency.
I was quite curious and sexually curious from a very young age. Grew up on a very conservative household, so really couldn't show it, kept it sort of under wraps. And then I think when I became around sixteen, I say, that's when I dropped my balls, my brawls. I became very sort of aware the boys were looking at me, boyfriends were starting to happen. And yeah, I've just always been open minded because I think it's been so shamed for,
you know, most of my younger life. I I just think it's such an important part of our lives to express ourselves, to enjoy it, to have fun with it. I think probably from the age of sixteen seventeen, I've just been really enjoying it.
That's lovely, because I think most women our age. I think it's probably different maybe with Gen Z's and even maybe millennials. I'm not sure. But sex positivity wasn't a thing when we grew up as gen x's. In fact, it was the opposite. Sex for us was completely associated with death actually because of AIDS epidemic and HIV and save sex and you have sex and it could kill you, and the grim Reaper and all of those things. So
I grew up. You know, I remember the first time I had sex, the condom broke and I was convinced that I was you know, even before I had sex, I thought maybe that I was either pregnant or I might have caught an STD or maybe even HIV. Yeah, I was very fearful of sex. I guess it certainly wasn't the free love ideas that our boomer parents had. What was it like for you? Where did you? Where did you learn to be sex positive in a generation that generally wasn't.
Through magazines like Dolly. You'd read about and you know, did Dolly people would write in and the Cleos and the Cosmos. Plus I found a little sex book at home in my parents' bedroom.
What was it.
It was just pictures of men and women in different positions of very sensual and so I sort of.
It was probably the joy of sex when they were all quite they were all quite hairy.
Yeah, everything was there, definitely, and it was just pictures. There's nothing more than that. And I just always found it very fascinating. So you know, you'd practice and play you know, doctor with your friends and all that kind of stuff. Just kissing and touching type of thing. It was, Yeah, it was. I was always curious, very very curious. So it sort of started from there and just waked itself up.
When I met my husband, who I've been with for thirty six years, I was in year eleven and he was in his first year of met and he was on I say to people, we're on the same wavelength sexually. We were just so compatible and we're just so lucky as well that were just open to everything and just having fun. So, you know, we'd look at pawn together, we'd play around, have fun. It was never embarrassing, it was never shameful. It was just always just really beautiful and hot and sexy always.
That's so wonderful because for so many women, particularly their early sexual experiences are associated with For some it's sexual assault or lack of consent, or just not feeling sexual pleasure or feeling ashamed, all of those kinds of things. I mean, that is such wonderful luck and good fortune that that was the way it was for you. Guys. Tell me about the sexual relationship and how it progresses between a couple over thirty six or thirty seven years. Have you ever had sex with anyone else?
Just before I met my husband, I had my first boyfriend experience, but it wasn't anything really special, so it's only a couple of times, and I thought I loved him, and he cheated with someone else. And I was very young then, so I thought, you know, if you have sex, then you love that person and you stay by them. That's the way I was brought up. You know. It just really sort of broke my heart. And then I met my husband straight up virtually a few months later,
So it was interesting how things unfolded. And my husband was very very good and kind and a good listener. So I told you the whole story, and I guess, yeah, the communication was really great. It was solid. We shared all of our most personal, you know, life stories and desires and all that, and it was Yeah, it just sort of grew from that. And sexually, we've always just been open to, you know, have fun with it and
enjoy it. And yeah, it's just always been fantastic. I mean, you know, as you go through your your pregnancies and your menopause and move you know, it's up and down. But we've been always on the same kind of wavelength. We've been quite lucky.
Sex is usually hot in the beginning. Yeah, then you know, Esther Perell talks about her book Mating in Captivity. Yes, how all the things that make a good marriage or a good long term relationship, which is familiarity, trust, intimacy, stability, all of those things are often kryptonite for sexual excitement and interest, which relies on what's new and what's different and what's unexpected. How have you resolved that in your marriage?
We've always just explored played right through the thirty six years.
When you say played, do you mean like with other people and brought other people into your relationships?
We haven't. No, we haven't brought any other We did discuss it at one stage when we're in our thirties, but we never really went through with it. It was something we did discuss, yeah, just you know, toys, things whatever, just to explore and have fun with it all. In that sense.
You started your first mail escort agency back in twenty twelve. What were you doing before that in terms of career paths please to opening an escort agency.
Well, I'm not from the industry. I've done a variety of different jobs in my life, from managing a medical clinic in my twenties to then being a massage therapist for nearly fifteen years. So I was working doing massage from home. I'm a remedial therapist. I love touch, I love connecting with people, and some of them would like to talk. Some of them would speak about what was on their minds issues, you know, personal issues, work issues,
and it was a safe space for them. So I sort of started back then with the massage where people would open up and share personal things with me. And plus the touch aspect is so so vital and so important to get that chi energy running through your whole body. And when they'd walk out, they were just floating. They
were completely different people. So I experienced that for many, many years, and I used to get like electricity coming out of my tips of my fingers after certain clients because of their you know, you detoxify, you get rid of those toxins after a massage as well, and I'd have to really shake them off. Not everyone, but some. It was quite a special experience with massage. I found.
Did people talk to you about their sex lives?
Well, they talked to me about everything.
And you know, I've run a lot of sort of courses about how to start a business, and what I used to always say you need to do is first identify a gap in the market, and then identify a market in the gap. How did you identify the gap in the market. Is it from what people were just telling you while you were giving the massages that they wish there was someone that they could hire.
It was sort of partly that, but also at that stage in life, I think I was in my late thirties and I had quite a few girlfriends who were single and divorced, and they found it really difficult to find a quality, you know, sort of option when seeking intimacy and you know, without the commitments. So that's where it sort of started off with. And I went into business with one of my girlfriends, and we did two years of research prior to opening up Afridisiac because we
both went from the industry. But we knew that something of this you know, quality and type of service was really necessary from speaking to so many women of all different ages, and so we did the hard yaker for two years. We met people who then passed us on to the right people, and we didn't know what we
were going into. But you know, everyone says it's such a dim, dirty, you know, CD service industry, and yes, absolutely there are there are agencies and brothels that are like that, but our intention was never to run that way because we have morals, we have integrity, you know, safety was number one for us for all our clients plus our gentlemen. So we as businesswomen, ran it completely differently to any other agency or brothel that's out there
at the moment. And I don't think anyone out there runs the services like I do.
Now, what is the first step that you take when you think about setting up a male escort agency.
I can't remember exactly the first person, but I had quite a few people within the industry through Facebook and social media, and I was comfortable enough to reach out to them, and then they passed me on to the right people, and you know, we created we created what we had questionnaires for women. We had over quite a few hundred women that answered you know, what they would
want from this type of service. Yeah, So we did a lot of a lot of work before we opened up because, like I said, we went from the industry and it was all new to us. But we knew that we could make you know, a huge difference to women's lives by opening up, you know, proper Lately.
The idea of sex work been you know, modelized in films like Pretty Women, and I guess the ideas that people have about sex workers is that they're predominantly either women or gay men, and that the users of sex work services escort services are men either straight men or gay men, because men pay for sex, whereas women don't have to pay for sex, or don't need to pay
for sex, or don't want to pay for sex. How what was your insight that made you realize that, no, that wasn't true, because I can't really think of sort of any popular culture or culture examples of images of you know, women who might want to hire an escort.
Well, with the questionnaires, we did ask women if they would pay for it?
Where did you send the questions out? Did you just give them out in shopping centers?
No, We gave out questionnaires three friends who worked in different industries and different professions, and we sort of handed them out email. A lot of my clients that I worked with the massage, I gave them out to them, and my business partner did the same on her side. So there are quite a few hundred that we sent out and we've got some really great feedback from that.
What did you learn from that and what surprised you? In particular?
A lot of women were not ready for it. Absolutely, there was still quite Oh I would never use a service like this, But then there are others, Oh, this sounds interesting. We're sort of, you know, opening a can of worms, as to say, And there's a lot of shame still in stigma. But there were women actually, the ones that were single or divorced, they could really appreciate from where we were coming on, what kind of business, type of style of service we were offering.
How did you recruit your first guy?
Actually it was through someone that I knew, a friend of a friends that said, I've got this really gorgeous gentleman that would be interested, and he was one of our best companions for years. He was incredible. He was Brazilian, gorgeous, loved women, great conversationalist, just was really a good man inside and out. Yeah, he was quite popular back then.
Did you just start with one or you needed a few before you could be called an agency?
Otherwise we started with a couple. We had a handful and they just sort of grew. We found that once we started advertising the business, the gentleman just start emailing. I never really had to advertise for work, like at the moment since opening up her Confidante this year, I get maybe five or six men emailing me a day for work, and they think they're perfect fits.
And what are these guys have in common? Like what attracts them to doing this? Is it their first foray into sex work or they've been working for themselves and they decide, maybe I want to join an agency.
I've never actually one thing. We decided back with Afrodisiak we wouldn't work with men who work in the industry because they've got their set ways and we have different ways of working as women. Knowing what women want, so I've never actually worked with a male companion who has worked as an escort himself. They're all from different walks of life, different professions, different industries. I've worked with doctors, lawyers, all sorts, and they must must must have a full
time job. This is something they do part time.
That's an interesting rule. So it's almost like they don't need the money.
Yet it's something because they absolutely love doing this type of work and love being with women generally, and it's important that they have a full time job where they don't rely on this as an income as well, and that pressure on myself to work for them, you know, daily, which doesn't happen. I'm quite respectful where they will only have a couple of bookings a week. They are humans and they do have a full time job, and that's
where it's at at the moment. They get a couple of bookings a week, or once every couple of weeks, or once a month, or a couple of times a month. It just depends on you know, which client needs to book them. It works really well that way because they need their time their space as well. And I respect all the gentlemen that I work with. It's my little family and I'm really sort of grateful to work with
these lovely men. I don't want to take anyone for granted, whether the companions all my clients.
More of my enlightening taboo smashing conversation with Anna after this short break. So from your experience in the industry, now, how does sex with a companion who you're paying differ from sex with someone that you're not from a female point of view.
Well, firstly, I choose them because they're quite passionate, and they love every aspect about sex and every aspect of a woman. They don't see age or size. They just see a human in front of them, and they just want to bring joy, happiness, and pleasure to that person who's in front of them. And I think not many men are able to do that and just see a woman standing in front of them, just wanting to be with someone, being touched, being you know, held, being listened to,
being talked to, having incredible sex. Some of the times, they just want a really good fuck. That's what women tell me. You know, the amount of women I've spoken to in the last few months, it's like, I just want a really good fuck.
And what do what does a really good fuck look? Like I mean, I guess it's different for every woman.
They just they don't want to be in charge. They want the man to take the lead. They want the man to last, They want the man not to be drunk. They want him to be attentive to every need and to have fun with it, and for them to feel really open and vulnerable and not feel judged as a lot of the times. You know, when you go on a date, you're constantly feeling you know, you're in your head. And so when I speak to the clients, I always tell them, just get out of your head. This is
all about you. This is your time to just absolutely enjoy every moment it goes by quickly, enjoy, have fun with it, get out of your head. And it works. They tell me afterwards that's what they did, and they had the best time.
Tell me about the men. So it's interesting you call them gentlemen and companions. I imagine that all of that language is very deliberate.
It is because I find that if you call them sex workers prostitutes, which I can't stand, it's all old, old school. Whereas you know, since running this business specifically, I think it's important to change. I'm trying to re educate people's perception of what it can be. And that's what her confidant's about. You know, it's a legitimate, you know business, just like any HR or PR agency that has integrity, values and standards, trust, transparency, and it's nothing
more than that. And people just need to realize that that's what it is. And I'm here to teach people that.
So when someone, you know, a guy wants to join your agency, he first, I imagine, inquires through your website and then what's the process. Take me through an example of one of the guys who is part of your agency now from the process of him first reaching out to you, how it played out.
So they either email or they call, and I will ask them to then send through the inquiry by email, and it depends on the email what they write. Some of them write quite a bit of information about themselves and share a little bit about them which is really lovely. And then I can sort of tell by the way they've sort of started the conversation by email that I think I want to know a little bit more about him. So I will then send a questionnaire and there's about
thirty five thirty six questions. There's a quite a few psychological questions. I really want to know what makes him tick, why does he want to do this?
Who is he?
And yeah, why does he want to do this type of work. I'll send that off to them, then they will come back with all the answers and the ones that I choose to go there next. If the answers are, you know, not just one word answers or two word answers like I like to fuck or I like to have sex, or you know, just really no substance behind it. So the ones that really sort of express themselves properly, I can see that they're educated, they can write, they
can put two words together. I can really tell by the questionnaire that they seem like that would be a really great companion for the agency. So then I will contact them and say, would you like to do a face to face meet and we'll have a coffee. So I want to see what's on paper is it really same when I meet him face to face? And so we'll have a coffee. And there's been times where what's on the paper is not what's face to face. So then that sort of gives me, like, right, red flag.
I see red flags really quickly now, I really know what I'm looking for.
What are your red flags?
Red flags? I don't like men lying to me about their hids about certain things, so they'll put things on paper, like I had one recently fly in from Sydney. Like, he flew in from Sydney, and you know, he said he was around six foot because the gentlemen are between five foot ten and six foot four. That's what my clients require. And when I first got up to say hello to him, I noticed he was almost the same
height on me and I'm just under five seven. And I turned around and said to him, how tall are you? That was my first question. He goes, oh, five eight, and I got him. Well, on the paperwork, you wrote five ten. And then he just changed my whole perception. And he flew in for a trial that day as well, so he just went from one red flag to the other, to the other to the other. It was shocking. The
whole thing was just shocking. So that's why I'm so thorough with the questionnaire, then meeting them face to face, so then if the face to face goes well, I will then ask them if they're happy to do the trial, which they must, so they will book a hotel room of my choice in Melbourne. I've got one specifically. It's really boutiquey and small and beautiful. You know, there's not a lot of people. Everyone feels comfortable and the trial
is simulated booking. So I want to see within that two hours how he greets her, how he meets that. They'll have a drink downstairs in the bar for about fifteen twenty minutes. I want to see how the conversation goes, whether he, you know, makes it feel at ease, whether he asks the right questions, not about him, it's not about him, and it's to be about the woman. And then after the fifteen to twenty minutes they go upstairs
to the room. There'll be a selection of a playlist of music that she enjoys, just to break the ice, and then they'll move into a lovely massage to relax and unwind, and then into intimacy. And that all has to happen within the two hours, and if everything works and everyone's happy, then I will speak to the trialer after the two hours. She'll call me while she's driving home and let me know whether it's a yes or no, so the trialers know exactly what to expect as well
from every part of that trial. Then I'll call the gentleman to say yes or no.
I have so many questions. Tell me about the trialers. Who are they? Hello, my name is bul Kim.
Hello, I'm James.
They're all single. They're people that I know and people that are friends or friends, so I truly trust them with their decisions and how they feel.
I'm passionate about creating moments where you can just be yourself, where you can explore your designs. Intimacy is best enjoyed when you're free to express yourself.
You know, they've been in different relationships, They've had lots of experienced dating, so they you know, they're women ranging from thirties right to fifties, so there's a variety as well, different shapes, different sizes, and I just sort of pluck you. I see who was available for each trial, and yeah, we'd do it that way.
Tell me about some times when the trial has called you on the way home and told you something that made you go.
Now, well, this last one, the Sydney one.
He so he still went to trial, even though he was shorter than advertised.
Yeah, he flew in and the trial was in a few hours that day, and I had met because he was in Sydney. I couldn't meet him face to face. It was until trial day. Yeah, yeah, through zoom and he seemed great. And then when it came to the physical, you know, the fact that he was shorter than he said. I was not happy with that. When they met, it just went downhill. He spoke only about himself. I told him exactly the processes, what's involved. He didn't listen to
any of it. He spoke about himself. He didn't ask much questions about her. Then when they went up there was no music. She had to remind him to put the music on about fifteen twenty minutes into the massage, and then he asked her if she could message serious seriously, it was hilarious.
Did she have sex with him?
No, he couldn't get it out.
Oh, okay, that would seem like a fairly they're really nervous.
That they are really nervous because it is a test, and no matter what they say, oh, you know, no problem, some of them just can't get it out.
Yeah.
I interviewed at male Scott once and he said, yeah, sometimes that's a problem. And he said it's not about the physicality of the woman. It's sometimes just about the energy in the room. And sometimes it just doesn't work exactly.
We're just human and that's fine. I've had male companion or gender going through trials and they just couldn't do it. And I knew overall they were great, so I have given them a second chance and they've done the trials and everything went well in just but this one, everything just you know, from beginning to end, it was and all I said to you, goes, oh I failed. I go no, it didn't really fail. It's just you're not right for this kind of work. That's really it. You know.
He's a lovely guy overall, but just not right for this job. So had to be really gentle and be nice. And I just told him like it was, it's just not right for you. And I think you need to go out and date a bit and read a bit, and learn a bit more about women and their needs and not about your needs, because a lot of men think it's just all about them and their dicks, and
it's not. Because if you can if you can really satisfy a woman and give her pleasure and really get into her head and allow her to just enjoy the sex, the connection. Then you're going to have the most incredible experience, incredible sex.
I guess I know the answer to this, but I wanted to. I was going to ask you if you've ever hired a sex worker for yourself or used a sex worker before opening your agency.
No I never, I haven't.
That's so interesting to me.
I've had really grade sex, so I know. The onny thing is I thought everyone else was having the amazing sex I was with my husband.
But so, what you've got is the high bar, so to speak, the high bar. But what you don't have is knowing the specific I guess, vulnerability and headspace of a woman who is paying for sex. I mean, you can be empathetic and get in her head, but you've never actually been that woman. No, I haven't, so you have to walk in her shoes.
I've had people that I know that have used services, and so I know from their point of views, but I physically myself have not.
Paint me a picture of your average client. Who is she?
Oh gosh, average, they're very like, they're really very from late twenties right through to seventies, average would be probably in there this time round I'm seeing more women in their late thirties who are divorced, single or even married. Like there's been quite a few married women where their husbands are doing their own thing and they're sick of being ignored, and their gorgeous from the descriptions they give me,
there could be supermodels, let's say. And they want to feel like a woman, they want to be touched, they want a human connection, and their husbands are not there. They're just mentally out and physically sometimes as well. So thirties, forties, fifties, sixties.
There's no average type. You've got a really big broad spectrum.
Yeah, there's a huge spectrum. It just depends on where they are in their lives and what they want experience.
I guess you mentioned married. Well, you've got clients who are single and who are married or partnered. Why don't they just go to a bar and pick up.
They tell me that they're not interested in picking up duds. Safety reasons is number one for them with what's going on, especially in Australia, you know, with women being murdered and raped and the still thing, you know, where they take off the condoms while they're having sex the day rape, the drink spiking. They just they're getting off the apps. They don't they're not trusting it the apps, and they're not trusting the men that they're meeting at bars and clubs. It's for their safety.
I mean, I'm showing my age that I just said go to a bar and pick up What I meant was get on the apps. But yeah, there's also a lack of particularly if they're married, that's not very confidential or private, is it.
No, No, you know, people can see them out. I guess it depends on if they're married or they're about to get divorced, where they're at mentally as well. I'm not here to break up marriages, don't get me wrong, But if a woman's telling me certain things that there possibly could be rape or you know, in some kind of harm, then absolutely she has every right to do whatever she needs to keep herself.
So are there some women who need a corrective experience after a sexual assault and they need to know that they're in complete control of the situation.
Absolutely. I've had a lot of women who have had trauma rape as young young women, children, and during marriage as well, and they just want to be able to be with a man in the same room. And sometimes there's no sex, it's just talking to one of the companions. He said, for a whole two hours, we just sat there next to each other and just spoke, but sitting next to each other on the bed, not even facing
each other, because she couldn't even do that. So you have to be really gentle and compassionate and really caring.
And that's what these men have. They know how to be with a woman and listen and then make her feel more comfortable and relax and whatever she wants to sort of express and then sort of take it from where she is and whether there's no sex, there's no sex, if there is there is, I mean, every story is different, and it's really it's sad what women have you gone through in their lives and just heartbreaking some of the stories.
And I just want them to know by opening up these agencies, is that they have an option, they have a choice, Their voices are heard. You know, they can change. They can get out of that marriage where he rapes you every night and she just can't get out, like it's horrible some of the stories.
By the time she reaches out to you to book an escort, I imagine she's pretty nervous. Or is it that she's been thinking about it and wondering and looking at the website and coming back to the website, or is she just curious and she just wants to like explore the option and doesn't go through with the actual sex.
There's a couple of variations of clients. So everything you've just mentioned, there will be women who I've had one who had my number for a whole year before she had the nerve to actually dial and ring, and that took her a whole years. Others, like, just two days ago, I had a lady email me and then we got on the phone. I find phone conversations are much easier than emails. You can really hear the voice. Yeah, really connect.
I think that's really really important. And she's having a booking in a couple of weeks, so and what most of them say is like, oh, that wasn't that hard. That was actually quite fun and easy. And I said, well, you're just talking to me, you're, you know, just playing on little me and I'm here. Whatever you need, I'm here. I'm not judging. Share with me what you'd like to share and work through this together. I'm your wing woman.
I tell them, you know, I'm here for you. So it's really beautiful that I can, you know, be a part of their life experiences and their special moments they have, and it's really really humbling.
How do you protect the men who work for you? In terms of how do you check out the clients before you send them either to a hotel or to the person's house.
I usually ask quite a few questions with the clients as well, like what profession you know they work in the industry. I need a physical description as well, so when they meet, the gentleman goes to the right woman and not to someone else, specially if it's a busy hotel for you.
Do they usually meet in hotels.
Most of the time. It's hotels in the foyers or in the bars or restaurants. A few more than comfortable to have the bookings at home, so I do get a lot of information. They share a lot about themselves, so I really sort of get to know them on a very personal level.
Do women lie.
No, No, they're pretty straightforward with me.
So you haven't had situations where one of your scots turns up and it's like, oh, this is in a good situation. Or what she said is not tracking with who she seems to be.
I haven't had any with her confidante. I did have a few clients back in the day with aphrodisiac and so then the more deeper questions came. You know, you learn on the job, and so I'm quite thorough and I speak to my clients to really really get to know them and who they are and what they want.
The rest of my delightful chat with Anna after this short break, plus we hear from one of her clients, I want to ask you just a couple of terms that I've heard you refer to before. Tell me what being boy sober is.
Boy sober is women not wanting to date men because of safety reasons. So that could be related to drink, spi king, rape, any of those forms of safety.
So they've had some bad experiences, and they does that mean they're more likely to hire a sex worker rather than picking up or being on the app?
They know what they're going to get. They know that. You know that gentlemen have gone through police checks, health checks, and I've got their driver's licenses, so they know they're in a safe space and they're professionals in what they do. They're great passionate lovers. So if that's what the client wance to experience, that's what she's going to get.
It's estimated that forty five percent of women age twenty five to forty four will be single by twenty thirty. Why do you think that putting a male escort on retainer is going to be a trend of the future.
Well, I see it sort of happening already in a way where you know, it's looking after yourself and women are sick and tide of looking after everyone else and no one really taking good care of them. So you know you're going have a message, you go and have your pilates. It's the same kind of concept. You know, you look after yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, you get taken care of and you know you're talking about, you know, having the wellness aspect of it, having orgasms, being touched.
It's so important. The endorphins that the dopamine. It's a distress. You know, how many times have you had sex and in the evening and then you sleep like a baby because sex distresses you. It's a it's a natural listen all drug. If it's good exactly if it's good. So it's really really healthy to have orgasms, to have sex, to have touched that human connection. It's vital for our well being as humans.
When I'm looking at the website and I'm looking at the guys, they're all very well built. They're all of a similar body type. Is that because that's what women want?
No, they just look after themselves. They don't have to look that way, but they just happen to be that way. You know, they need to look after themselves to a degree. But all of the women say to me that, oh, they're happy with dad bods and stuff like that as well. So it just depends on the overall aspect of the gentlemen. They're out externally and internally. They need to be perfect overall for me. So they just happen to enjoy going to the gym and working out and looking after themselves.
They've done that all their lives. It's not for now or for this type of job. It's just something they do.
Fitness is a significant part of my life, and I am dedicated to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. When I'm not at the gym.
You can offer go to the human It's the same kind of thing for them.
What have you noticed about We all like to think that we've got very specific sexual preferences and physical preferences. But what have you noticed women have in common in terms of the type of guy that they choose.
Someonant a younger gentleman. The older ones want a younger gentleman experience how much younger, twenties, thirties, younger. Yeah, they want someone younger because they're young at heart. They just want to bring in there inner child out. That's what it's really about and having fun with the whole thing. And the gentlemen, they enjoy every aspect, like every age of a woman. So they don't have a specific type. That's the type of men I work with. They can't
a type. They love all I aspect all different types of women. So the ladies, yeah, some of them want someone closer to their age. They're happy to have someone around their age, so if they're in their fifties, someone in their fifties or maybe sixty. But a lot of them enjoy the younger gentlemen as well, who are in their thirties.
Do you have rules about repeat bookings?
No, they can repeat book I'm always on top of it. Mental health and attachment. So I learnt a lot about that in my first agency, and I speak to the gentlemen constantly regarding, you know, with debriefing before and after every booking, as well as the client. Oh, I'm on top of all that.
Not a talking anna, Yes, I know, I love it.
I think I you know, back in eighty nine when I finished high school, I don't know if you were in the same year.
I'm sure I.
Didn't have psychology. I really loved psychology, and psychology wasn't an option, so I used to read my husband's medical psychology books while he was studying. I just read a lot of that, you know. I always watched Oprah. Oprah's my guru, and she just went places where no one else did. And I learnt a lot from her as well. And magazines as you know, your cosmos, your clears, your dollies,
just and reading lots of books. So yeah, there's a lot of talking, and I think it's important we need to communicate and really hear each other and know exactly what where we stand and what everyone wants and to be on the same page.
How do you stop women getting attached? Because here's this guy, he just wants to talk to me. He just is focused on my pleasure.
And they do. They're pretty perfect gentleman. So I always speak to the clients and they are aware that it is a booking. There's no strings attached as such, and it's a their former friendship of sorts, and yeah, they just have fun with each other when they catch up and that's all it is. How much does it cost it varies. Our boyfriend experience is sixteen hundred dollars for the two hours. It depends on what the client wants. Social companions five hundred dollars an hour.
What is a social companion booking?
That's someone to come with you to a function, a dinner, a theater, no, no intimacy, just social, go for a drive, go for a walk.
And is that popular? What kind of is that? Like the gateway drug to people who might be a bit nervous, and so they'll do that first.
Yeah, some of them do, like a one hour companion. First they'll sit down and have a drink, have a chat, and then they will move into the intimacy aspect of the booking.
So you do have to be pretty well off to afford a male squad.
Well, some women actually save Even with my previous agency, a lot of women would save up because they knew the importance of the experience, and you know, like you save up for an expensive Chanelberg or shoes or clothes, they would save up for that and have really incredible life changing experiences. A lot of women can afford it, but the ones that can't, they will save for it.
Tell me about the Ultimate Pleasure Week, which costs twenty thousand dollars. That's the most expensive experience that you offer. Yeah, what would if that was me? What would I get for that week?
Well? Where would you like to go? Where would you like to take him with you? Where are we flying to?
So that is if someone's going on holiday, or you might build a holiday.
Yeah, you could have an in house holiday. It's totally up to you. The gentlemen cook their message.
Wow, do any women get that? What kind of women get that? And what do they do with that week?
It's becoming a bit more popular. Maybe you know, once a month we get one of those. And a lot of corporate women do it because they're so married to their jobs and they don't have kids at home. They want to have a break and just unwind and the gentlemen come along to wherever they need to go, whether it's overseas or Ballei or wherever they want to go or within Australia and they just spend a week of exploring.
The gentlemen can all put an itinery together if that's what she wants, unless she wants to have the itinery organized and just go and explore and have fun and have the intimacy aspect, have dinners together, lunches and also have breaks from each other as well, because they are human and you.
Know everyone needs some downtime.
Yeah, they like to go for a walk and explore on their own and sleep is important as well, so you rest it up.
But yeah, overall, you know they're not a vibrator.
No, you're dealing with too mature you know, adults. So yeah, they work it out between them.
What about the boundaries around sex, how are they navigated?
Well, gentlemen are pretty open to a lot of different experiences sexually, so we know we offer threesomes as well. The gentlemen are all heterosexual, so that's only you know, servicing the female and their partners are either watching or participating with the female, not with the man.
So some couples hire a male escort to have sex with the woman.
Yeah, that they're quite popular and a lot of the men, the husbands or partners, actually book these for their wives or partners.
And how do you make sure that the women are actually into it?
I get to speak to the woman beforehand, because I actually just had a phone call a few weeks ago from a gentleman who said, I want to book a threesome with my wife, And I said, if you are where that you're doing this for Hia, No, no, it's my fantasy. I go, that's nice for you. I said, no, unless I speak to her and she's okay with it, it's not going to happen.
And you didn't spect to her. Obviously it didn't happen.
Please please call me two three times And I said, no, no, not doing that. I mean he might have called someone else and someone else wouldn't have cared, unfortunately. But I'm not going to be forcing any woman into any situation she doesn't want to be in.
Do you feel like women are good at asking for what they want or do you need to give them a little pep talk before their experience?
Some some are still sort of I don't that they have no idea what do they want? I said, what would you like to experience that? Actually, no one's ever asked me that, And for the first time ever, they've just been able to just be about them and no one else, and it's it's quite sort of overwhelming for them, and they have the most incredible experience. But yeah, a lot of them don't even know what to ask for.
So I give them options. You can experience this, you can experience that, and then they say, oh, yeah, that might be a great idea, or or let the gentlemen lead. A lot of them would like the gentlemen to lead right through. Yeah, it depends on the clients. Some know exactly what they want, take your clothes off right now here and there and let's do it, and others others don't. So we're all sort of wired up differently.
You know, what if someone just catches feelings that must happen sometimes, what if they fall in love? Or Am I being silly?
Yeah? No, they do. They do because they are just humans. Yeah, they're humans. But also a lot of women have been calling them the last few months unicorns, and I find that really cute because they're so rare and so unique. I guess that's the first time I've heard of women calling the companion's unicorns.
I guess though it's not real because they're being paid to not have any needs or want the guys.
But the guys are being genuinely themselves. They actually enjoy the whole experience. They love meeting people. That's just their personality. So you're getting a man who is genuinely himself, the raw deal. He's not pretending to be anyone else by himself. That's why I go through my processes to find genuine, good hearted humans, and I find them through a lot.
And in addition to the male companions that you employ, you also have one female companion on your books. Does some women call to book a woman?
Yeah, A lot of women want to experience a woman, experience something they've had as a bucket list, something they've wanted, maybe from childhood, but to a shame to experience or ask for it. Even being married to a man, they've always sort of wanted to experience a woman.
Is that getting more popular slowly? It is.
I think she's just sort of joined us in the last few months. But she did work with me in aphrodisiac as well for a while. So yeah, it depends what the client really wants to experience.
Your family, obviously, you're an open book. Your husband knows exactly what you do. As to your children, you do seem very normal. I don't even mean that sounds condescending, but you are very normal. Like the idea of what a madam might be or the owner of an escort agency. You don't fit that stereotype. And I guess it's a stereotype because it doesn't apply to everybody. Well, how do you describe your role? You very open? I mean you clearly are open about what you do.
I'm very proud and never hide what I do. I think it's an important service that I provide and I talk about it all the time. The boys with teenagers when I opened, they couldn't really grasp what it was about. They used to call me a pimp. That's helpful, I said. I said, I'm not a pimp. This is in a legit service. But you know, young boys at fourteen fifteen, they have no idea, you know, when they started to
have sex. I used to give them boxes of condoms and said to them, always if it's not on, it's not on, and be good gentlemen and be respectful.
Yeah.
So yeah, I've always had those conversations with them. I am Hawaii. My friends except me that I've always been very cheeky, very sort of curious about different things. Definitely life of the party. I've had a lot of crazy parties in my life as well. I'm a bit of a party girl. Love to always a good surprise party for my family, my husband and friends. Love having fun with life and enjoying every aspect of it.
Finally, if someone's listening and they're curious and they want to explore maybe hiring an escort, what step one do you think?
Step one would probably just give me a call or an email if you feel a bit uncomfortable calling because they're not sure who's going to answer. But it's always me at this point of time, I am for the phones. I love to really connect with my clients and really, you know, get to know them, as I said, on a personal level, and then create and tailor a beautiful experience for them.
Well that was interesting, wasn't it. Are you tempted after hearing that conversation? This isn't like sponsored content for her agency. I'm not going to give you a discount quote or anything. But if you do end up doing it for yourself or you recommend it to a friend and your book one about is companions, we'd love to hear from you. You can reach out to us anonymously and tell us your story. Or maybe you've had an experience with another escort, a male escort, a female escort. We'd love to hear
from you. And that is actually what my next guest is about to share with us. We've changed her voice and we are using the name Alexandra to protect her privacy, but I cannot wait for you to hear about the life changing sperience she had with James. That's in Part two. I'll meet you there link in the show notes