Teresa Palmer And The 10 Page Letter That Changed Her Life - podcast episode cover

Teresa Palmer And The 10 Page Letter That Changed Her Life

Apr 24, 202552 min
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Episode description

Teresa Palmer is the ultimate working mum. From boldly walking into a talent agent’s office and declaring she’d be a mother first and an actor second, to negotiating flights and breastfeeding breaks into every project—she does it all on her terms.

Now pregnant with her sixth child, Teresa Palmer lives life with her heart on her sleeve—dreamer, doer, and total open book.

You might know her from The Mother Daze podcast, her acting roles, or her bestselling book The Zen Mama Guide to Finding Your Rhythm in Pregnancy, Birth, and Beyond, but in this chat, she’s all heart, humour, and raw honesty.

What you'll hear in this conversation:

- The ten-page letter she wrote to manifest her husband
-  Her new role in The Last Anniversary
- The wild ride of raising five kids across two countries
- The village of women who keep her sane
-  What motherhood has taught her about identity, creativity, and connection

Teresa is as real as they come. This one’s for anyone trying to do it all—and keep their heart intact while they’re at it.

THE END BITS:

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Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au

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CREDITS:

Host: Laura Brodnik

Guest: Teresa Palmer

Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Senior Producer: Grace Rouvray

Audio Producer: Jacob Round

Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.

Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mamma Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on. It's nice to fall in love with a person's way rather than just like the way they look, or sexual chemistry or whatever. It was just like a really deep understanding of each other before we even were in person for the first time.

Speaker 2

Hi, I'm Kate Lanebrook. Welcome to No Filter. Teresa Palmer is an open book in the most generous, heartfelt way, whether she's sharing stories on her podcast, The Mother Days or offering wisdom through her best selling book, The Zen Mama Guide to Finding Your Rhythm in Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond.

Speaker 1

Teresa has a.

Speaker 2

Remarkable way of letting you into her world. And what a world it is, a whirlwind of creativity, chaos, and love. Her family a traveling circus. Her words not mine, but she does. She's got a big family, She's got lots of projects and deeply personal experiences that she's never been

afraid to share. In this special bonus episode of No Filter, Teresa sits down with our head of Entertainment, Laura Brodnick, to talk about her latest role in the Last anniversary, which is a great show, but the conversation quickly becomes so much more than that. With her heart firmly on her sleeve, Teresa opens up about the village of women

who've helped her balance a thriving career with motherhood. She reflects on the deep female friendships that keep her grounded and the story of how she met her now husband Mark, after writing a ten page manifestation letter to the universe, let's get scribbling. She's a dreamer, a doer, and above all, someone who leads with heart.

Speaker 1

This is Teresa Palmer.

Speaker 3

Well, Teresa Palmer, Welcome to Mama MEA thank you.

Speaker 1

I have been a big fan OFS for a very long time.

Speaker 3

Oh look, every softime we see you like our Instagram post and we do get quite excited because we're a big fan of yours as well.

Speaker 4

I'm I legit, I am a super fan.

Speaker 1

And I've listened to so many of the podcasts, the True Crime podcast I've listened to every episode.

Speaker 4

Oh I'm really.

Speaker 3

Caught up ringing in doors. So last time I saw you you was last night walking the red carp at the State Theater, up on stage with just a casual Leanne Moriarty to your right, launching your new series in a beautiful gown, full hair and makeup, And I wanted to ask you about the logistics of that because I know you have four children at home and another on the way. Yes, when you're doing these big traveling press stays,

what are the logistics of that? Do you get to go and be in a hotel room by yourself for Oh okay, great, tell me about.

Speaker 1

So I'm actually expecting our sixth baby because I have a step son as well, who was there last night. Oh lovely, Isaac Raicht Isaac exactly. He's about to be seventeen and he lives in America most of the time. He's at a very academic high school, so he doesn't get to venture to Australia that often. But it just so happened that he flew in the day of the premiere. So I was like, right, you're coming with me, first time on the red carpet with him and the boys.

But we just decided we're a bit of a traveling circus. So when we work away, Mark's working away at the moment, he's here in Sydney, but we live in Byron Bay, so we just thought if I'm going to be in Sydney, Mark's gonna be working in Sydney, Isaac's flying into Sydney. Let's just take the whole crew. So I had all the kids. I had to just ring a local nanny agency right to be with the little girls because I knew the show wasn't probably appropriate for them.

Speaker 4

They're five and three.

Speaker 3

Yeah, maybe not that first episode, I know.

Speaker 1

I was like even my eight year old when there's the scene that I make out with when he was like ooh.

Speaker 4

Oh rosum and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot about that part.

Speaker 1

But we have yeah, we have three rooms, hotel rooms.

Speaker 4

Isaac's about to be seventeen, He's got his own room.

Speaker 1

And then we have to do adjoining rooms, suitcases everywhere. Kids on one side, well, the boys on one side, the girls in the bed with Mark and I with a trundle bed, and it's musical beds, like all night, everyone's moving into a different bed at some point. My husband ended up on the single bed last night and I had three kids in my bed.

Speaker 4

Anyway, that's the way it is.

Speaker 3

Like's not a glamorous lead, and in the best possible way, I'm bring them all with you.

Speaker 1

No, it's just that's how we figure it out, is we just make it work. Usually my mom's with us, so it's easier, but this time around she was back and Byron, so luckily I rang this nanny agency that I love and was like, do you have anyone available? Yeah?

Speaker 3

And I wanted to take you back to the beginning before we're walking these premieres and having these world premieres of your new show of growing up in Adelaide and I'm assuming in you know, a smaller town in Australia, so far removed from Hollywood, in that industry and that glam life. How do you go from a young girl living in Adelaide dreaming of that and I'm assuming just like you know, normal family, no famous relatives in the background, willing to step in or anything like that, how do

you go from that to this career? What was the first kind of moment that moved you there? Well?

Speaker 1

So I grew up moving between two homes, actually three homes. My dad had two houses because my stepmom also has children, and so her kids would stay in one house and her and her ex husband would rotate to keep her sons in that house, so I would rotate with them, which meant that every second week I was in a different house with my dad, and then with my mom. We grew up in housing trust units and so we

traveled a lot. She was on a disability pengine. So I will say that the dream felt quite far away. I couldn't see how the dream could be a reality, but I just kept plodding away at it.

Speaker 4

I just thought, all right, if this.

Speaker 1

Is my dream, And it sort of dawned on me at eight or nine that I wanted to do this.

Speaker 4

I watched a movie called a Little Princess.

Speaker 3

Oh yes, a classic.

Speaker 1

A classic Alfonso Curan. And back then, I don't know if you remember, but on the DVDs or the VHS, there'd always be this little like behind the scenes where they would do the making off.

Speaker 3

All the little featurettes, the featurettes.

Speaker 1

Yeah, And I saw the featurette and saw this little girl on set and saw her like having all this fun and being, you know, on camera and playing with these other little girls, and.

Speaker 4

I was like, I want to do that. I want to be an actress.

Speaker 1

And that sort of planted the seed at such a young age, and I just banged on about it for so long to everyone who would listen, I'm going to be an actress.

Speaker 4

Yeah, I'm going to be in Hollywood.

Speaker 1

I'm going to be represented by the same agent as Nicole Kidman.

Speaker 4

That was like my statement.

Speaker 1

And then eventually I convinced my dad to give me acting lessons and he said he would do it, and so he paid for me to have acting lessons at a local acting agency. When I was sixteen. Wow, and I just started auditioning for things. And I always say this to people who want to get into the film industry. I was yes, and I was like, there is a student film. I'm not getting paid any money. Cool, I'm just going to go and have that experience. Like, oh, there's a tiny little short film, I'm going to go

on star in that. And I did so many of those experiences. And then I was an extra on a bigger movie, Wolf Creek, which is one of Australia's.

Speaker 3

Another conic in a different way.

Speaker 4

Yeah, iconic horror films.

Speaker 1

And I was pool party person in the background and I remember being there watching everyone and watching Nathan Phillips and this the lead actress. Her name was Kesty Morassy and she was so brilliant. She was so brave she had to act drunk. Remember watching her as an extra, thinking, oh, she's not embarrassed, she's just out there, she's trying things. She's so big and bold and like, look at her go so uninhibited.

Speaker 4

And she was really excellent.

Speaker 1

And the first ad at the time would sort of tell.

Speaker 4

The extras what to.

Speaker 1

Do, and I didn't listen, and I thought, in fact, I want to get in front of the camera, like I'm going to start splashing lead guy and Nathan Phillips in the background and try and get on camera. And so you actually see me kind of in the background, leave the spot I was meant to be standing in like way way far back, and I come and I start interacting with the lead guy and I actually ended

up using it and I'm splashing him. And there have been some sleuths who have found images of me, like screenshotted images of me in Wolf Creek as poor party person number one. And that was it, Like I saw that I was on that set and I was like, this is it. This is what I am doing for the rest of my life. And yeah, and I continued doing extra work and eventually I did I said yes, to a student film. The premiered at cann at the

Camp Festival, and that is where it all started. But if I had not said yes to this little student film, it would have been a much more difficult journey to get to where I am, right.

Speaker 3

Because that film had quite a bit of international acclaim and got a lot of attention. Is that how you were able to get your agents in America and stuff? And I've heard you tell a story where you walked in and said, I really want to do this. I love acting, but I'm going to be a mom. And it's really nice. I didn't turn your way because in some places they'd say, well, if you're not completely committed, which obviously you were.

Speaker 1

Well it was just it was my truth. And I think because I was nineteen and I was just bold and brave, and I just landed in America. I just got with this incredible manager. His name's David Seltzer. I'm still with him today, and he really believed in me. And I really had only done at that point this little student film, and I had booked what I had and Churchill Brown from Shanahan, who was in fact Nicole

Kimman's agent. Oh wow, Yes, she really took a punt on me at such a young age and decided to sign me at Shanahan, which was the biggest agency in Australia at the time and the most powerful, exciting one. And she sort of sent me to la for rehearsals for this little Australian movie I did, and that's where I met my manager who had seen me at kenn and he took me around to all these big agencies. I decided to sign with the Willie Morris agency and

I signed with Scarlett Johanson's agent at the time. His name was Scott Lambert. So Scott brings me into this big boardroom to meet all the part all the partners, like the biggest, most senior agents at this agency, and they kind of just hand the mic over to you. They're just like, here she is talk about yourself to

this boardroom of people. And I was quite nervos nineteen and I was like, Hi, I just want to let you all know this is very exciting and all I'm really proud of this opportunity and I have to just give your heads up though that my real passion is motherhood and I'm planning on having six children and it was like dead silent.

Speaker 4

And they all thought it was a joke. They were kind of looking at each other.

Speaker 3

Like, oh, she's doing it aha, like.

Speaker 1

Lol, And then my manager's like, no, she's actually serious, like she's just letting you know she wants to.

Speaker 4

Be a mom as well. And I don't know what it was.

Speaker 1

I just thought I should announce it at the time, let them all know. But at least I planted that seed early on, and so I was never met with any real disappointment. That's prosative agents, and I'm perpetually pregnant, like I'm all, I will not stop having babies.

Speaker 4

So for them it's a little bit like, oh, she's pregnant again.

Speaker 1

Here we go again.

Speaker 3

But you could give them a heads up so they can't say anything about that.

Speaker 1

I was like, you know who you signed. I mean, I told you from day But do you know what a great blessing to be able to do both things?

Speaker 3

Yeah?

Speaker 1

Exactly, to live out both dreams and I get to do this in tandem. I don't have to give up either of them. And I did think after my first child, I thought.

Speaker 4

Well, this is it.

Speaker 1

The opportunities will dry up, and that's okay. I'm so fulfilled in what I'm doing, and even if I get to go and do one job every couple of years, I'll still be really grateful for that.

Speaker 4

And I found that I actually had the opposite fact.

Speaker 1

Really, my career really started gaining momentum after I had kids.

Speaker 3

Which so interesting. Do you know if there was a correlation there Is there something like that you're putting into your work, or is there something maybe like a depth of characters you get into when you were talking to directors, because you do hear these horror stories, not just in the film industry. I think every woman at the moment is in that crossroads of like it's career or parenthood.

Speaker 1

Well, I did have that anxiety that, oh, this is it, and I chose to have kids right at the peak of my opportunity. So Warm Bodies had just come out, and it was such a big break for me internationally, and I was like, now it's haid to have a baby. Oh I was twenty seven. I think I was really nervous, But then suddenly all my eggs weren't in one basket.

Speaker 4

I was really fixated.

Speaker 1

And had such like an obsession with this dream I had wanted my whole life to be a mum and something that my nana, who's like a was always such a great mentor for me. She had eight children. She was like, right before she passed away, she said, I know that acting is so exciting, and I know that you are going to reach.

Speaker 4

All of those goals.

Speaker 1

But knowing you and knowing who you are and the spirit of you, like you your true your truest dream is to be a mother. And I was like, You're so right. And once I had that baby, it was like everything was for him, about him, it was it was everything to me. And so suddenly the auditions weren't as scary or I didn't put too much stock in any of these things, whereas I think pre babies, it was like, this is all I have, This is the trajectory of my career. And I got really fixated on

my career path. And then suddenly I was kind of like, I don't really care as much about that because I'm in this other season of my life and the opportunities started coming. And I think maybe the letting go of the control meant that maybe I was more present in the auditions or in the.

Speaker 3

Maybe because the nerves weren't there because it wasn't like life or death exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 1

Absolutely, And then I started booking these bigger and bigger jobs. Yeah, I was like, oh my god, I can just bring my baby. I can bring my baby with me and I can still can cotinue to breastfeed and have that relationship. And I will say that not everyone has afforded that opportunity. And I was able to bring my children to work and given the space to breastfeed on demand and to be and nurture my child and have my child there, and I understand what a luxury that is, and I

don't take that for granted. And it's not afforded to all actors either. I mean, if you're sort of one of the lead actors or one of the supporting actors, you have a certain privilege that day players don't get, and that people who pop in here and there aren't afforded that same luxury. So I really recognize that too, and I'm careful when I talk about it because I want to really highlight that.

Speaker 3

I know that that's a rarity, yes, but also I think it's good to share different realities. Otherwise we're just looking at these very glossy pictures of people and thinking how are they doing that? That's why their life is different to mine. Is that something that you have written into a contract or you tell production beforehand, I'm going to have my kids there, I'm going to need to breastfeed. I'm assuming that's not on a schedule, so you need

to be flexible with filming. Is that all set up beforehand?

Speaker 1

Not really. You do have meetings with producers and I always talk about it, and especially in those earlier days, mean I'm pregnant again, but my youngest is three, so she hasn't really been nursing on demand for a while, so things are a little bit different nowadays. But definitely in my contract, I have way more airfares than the majority of actors, so I've.

Speaker 3

Got to fly the whole family.

Speaker 1

Fly the whole family, or at least you know, they'll fly half of them and I fly the other half.

Speaker 4

So there are certain things like that which I.

Speaker 1

Thought it would mean that if they were picking out of two actors, I would be the less interesting choice, because it meant I'm more expensive because I have a big family, and also then the housing situation I need instead of just a hotel room for myself. I come with a housing need where like my mom lives with us, my husband, I've got all these kids, so usually I need at least a three We can make a three bedroom work three bedrooms? Who can make work?

Speaker 4

Four bedrooms is ideal?

Speaker 1

But yeah, so I thought all of that would go against me. And actually it's one of the reasons I'm so grateful to Bruna pap Andrea. She not only gave me, she's the producer of this show the last anniversary, and I know.

Speaker 4

She produced your show, Your Mom and Me.

Speaker 1

Yeah, but she has advocated for me and has been my biggest supporter, and she keeps hiring me no matter how many children I have. She keeps hiring me and encouraging others to do so too, And I'm truly grateful for that.

Speaker 3

Oh, that's a lovely side of the industry that you don't hear as much. That's very nice. Yeah, and you're talking about booking those first big roles those studio movies Warm Bodies, which I loved, by the way, I wanted to sort of know what was like in that moment when you're starting to book these blockbusters and you're starting to be catapulted this different part of fame. I remember when those movies were coming out and seeing photos on

magazines and on red carpets. What's that like? To go from working in a student film to them being on billboards everywhere.

Speaker 1

It's pretty surreal, I would say, really exciting. Just felt like a well wind. And in fact, I have quite a bad memory because so much happened to me in that period of time. It was travel every week, it was events, it was press, it was different photoshoots, and like not sleeping so much, and just this wild, adventurous life. And because I jam packed so much into that period of time, I'll often forget about amazing experiences. Someone will remind me, you remember when we're in Paris and we're

at that event, we went to that fashion show. I was like, was I there? Did I do that? And I'll have to go back and google images? Which is so good about that aspect. You could go back and google back I was there.

Speaker 3

It's all being cataloged on for you.

Speaker 4

Catalog I was like, oh my god, I was there.

Speaker 1

I do remember that. And so that's that's kind of this idea of this whirlwind. It just was kind of happening to me and I had so much energy, and I.

Speaker 4

Just was enthralled.

Speaker 1

It was so unbelievably exciting, and I loved every most moments of it. Not all of it, of course, I've had my share of, you know, hardships in the industry as well, but so much of that I just was rimming with gratitude. Really, that's always the word I keep coming back to. It's just it happened. That thing that I wrote about in my journals from such a young age, it actually happened. And now reading back, I found all my journals.

Speaker 3

Just really, have you been rereading them?

Speaker 1

I've been rereading everything, and I have journal done memorily. Yeah, from the year two thousand until like twenty fifteen. I have a book for every year, and reading like I'm going to be doing this. These are the people I'm going to be working with. This is what my life's going to look like. And there's a lot in there where I'll say, if you are reading back on this right now and you've made it and you've created this dream life, like sixteen year old me is very proud of you.

Speaker 3

There is more to my conversation with Teresa Palmer after this short break. We talk about first loves and then finding everlasting love. We'll be right back. What was the most surprising thing that you found in there? Like a memory that you'd forgotten that came back to you.

Speaker 1

Oh, just so that was a bit of a desperado and love.

Speaker 3

Was until your first serious relationship, you remember.

Speaker 1

I wish I could go back to that nineteen year old self where she was like in love with this boy and he wasn't really messaging her back very much, and she was like, well, I decided to message him again tonight and I didn't hear back.

Speaker 3

And I then.

Speaker 4

Cut to like a few days later, like, well.

Speaker 1

I still haven't heard from him, but I thought that I would just congratulate him on this particular thing. And I was like, girlfriend, why why are you still pursuing this person and he's not showing any interest.

Speaker 4

That has been the funniest thing.

Speaker 1

I've actually been reading it out to my teenage son and I'm.

Speaker 4

Like, learn a lesson here. Yeah, I was like, learn a lesson.

Speaker 1

So there's just funny little tidbits like that that I'll read and certain parties I went to when I was younger, and experiences I had, and just the person I was back then she's not too dissimilar to who I am now, but there's just so many things I wish I could go back and be like, you can let that one go.

Speaker 3

You can just feel so high stakes at that age. I mean it does sound too but like nineteen, when you're first love, it all feels like it'll be life and death, life and death.

Speaker 1

It's so endearing, but it's also like informative for me because my kids are going to be entering these ages and I want to remember what it was like to feel like it was the end of the world with your best friend wasn't talking to you at school, and so it's good. It's it's like such a precious thing to have these journals.

Speaker 3

Oh that's really beautiful. And I'm glad you talked about your first love there because I want to ask you now about your your everlasting love. I'm assuming with your husband Mark and the beautiful relationship you have. Is it true just before you met him, you wrote a manifestation list of the person that you were looking for. Did he fit the bill? It was one of those things you had to just throw the list down and think, well, I've got to go with this man. I'm in love with now.

Speaker 1

Yes, it's totally true, and he fit all ten pages.

Speaker 3

Ten pages, ten pages. My goodness.

Speaker 1

So I had gone through this really painful breakup and I was actually hanging out with a group of people who are really like deep in self development work and spirituality and mobile. The singer Moby happened to be one of them, and he was really instrumental in my early years. I listened to his album on repeat all the time. In fact, I would sleep It was my sleep song

Porcelain for two years, so I would sleep listening to Moby. Anyway, So I meet him, We start connecting and he's doing a lot of like meditation stuff at his castle in beach with.

Speaker 3

Just a casual castle, just.

Speaker 1

A casual castle, and he would do these really cool things in the dar it was you'd turn off all the lights and so it was like sensory deprivation, so you couldn't see anything, you couldn't hear anything. It was

dead silent. It'd be a group of like forty forty fifty people and there'd be only candle light and then the candle would go off and people would sit in meditation for however long the collective group would want to sit in meditation, and this was all very very new to me, and I was like, what is this.

Speaker 4

Well, you know, I grab up Catholic.

Speaker 1

I didn't know so much about meditation, but I always felt so connected to myself after these sessions. And then I found this idea of the law of attraction and I started looking into that. And so because I had had this like awful relationship, I was like, I'm just going to try this. And I got very very specific in what I wanted and I called it in as

though I already had it. My man is he has you know, this color eyes, and he's a cancer and he loves children and he wants to have a big family, and he's an animal lover and he's at least a vegetarian and all these things. And I wrote it very specific, this is the way he is with my friends and his artistic and creative and deep thinker.

Speaker 4

And so I wrote this all out.

Speaker 1

And the stuff that I was studying at the time was like, Okay, now, you can't fixate on this.

Speaker 3

Now.

Speaker 1

You got to sort of put it out to the universe now and put these pages away somewhere in a draw. Don't fixate, let it go. And I did, and three months later I met my husband randomly online through Twitter on twew.

Speaker 3

You just don't hear those stories from Twitter all the different social platforms. It's usually where you find a troll. You got catfish, like, this might be the one Twitter I love story.

Speaker 1

I know, I know, we always say like the modern day love story through social media. At the time, I was like in a really sad place. I was at the Bowery staying at the Bowery Hotel in New York, which is like the famous hotel in New York, with my friend Brooke. But I was so desperately lonely and sad because of this heartbreak. And I happened to look at this trailer because I was like, I'll just kick.

Speaker 4

Myself when I'm down, Like, what is.

Speaker 1

Another actress up to that's doing better than me and her career is.

Speaker 4

Better than mine?

Speaker 1

Like, oh, I know, I'm going to google what Amanda Seafred's up to. Oh, look, she's got another movie at sundown, so of course she does amazing.

Speaker 4

Good for her. So I watched the trailer for her.

Speaker 1

Movie and I was like, oh my god, that is so beautiful, my cooleous movie.

Speaker 4

And I was like, Oh, I'm going to.

Speaker 1

Tweet about this. I was just so moved by this trailer. So I tweeted about it and I was like, oh, I'll put the filmmaker's handle in there, and it was my husband. It was his movie, and I put his handle in there at like mark and I was like, everyone should check this out.

Speaker 4

This looks so beautiful. Put it out there.

Speaker 1

And then he started messaging me. He slipped into the DMS and was like, Oh, I'm an admirer of your work and I was like, oh, and my friend Brooke, thank god, she's one of my good friends. Now. She's so cool and in the know of like who's who and like the underground art scene and she was like, don't you know who that is?

Speaker 2

What?

Speaker 4

No, who is this person?

Speaker 1

And she was like, you've got to hear his story. He was a homeless kid and he made him his way out of his situation, and he's like been on Broadway and he's worked with all the greats and he's like really revered in the indoe in this underground acting scene and I was like, oh my god.

Speaker 4

Really, she was like, you've got to DM him back. This is so hot.

Speaker 1

You've got to hook up with this guy like anyway, So I had my and he's always thankful to Brook for just being.

Speaker 3

Just stilitating that and getting it all totally.

Speaker 4

And then that's that's kind of how it happened.

Speaker 1

We just wrote letters, love letters to each other for forty days actually just over email, until we met in flesh, and we had already fallen in love through our writing at that point when we go on, I.

Speaker 3

Hope this has been turned into a movie. I know you guys collaborate a lot, so I feel like that should be on the list of potential projects. I know it hope out there.

Speaker 1

Do you know? It's really beautiful and it's nice to fall in love with a person's way rather than just like the way they look or sexual chemistry or whatever. It was just like a really deep understanding of each other before we even were in person for the first time.

Speaker 3

Well, and has that really set the foundation for when now you are as parents and working this crazy industry, because I feel like you've been so open about your relationship and the ups and downs, and you've talked about it publicly on your podcast, and you've done interviews and in your book, and there's I'm a big fan of your podcast some other days. By the way, I'm not a mother myself, but I take a lot away from

just hearing all the different stories and everything. But there's a set of episodes I listened to that have always stuck in my mind, and it's when you had Mark on and I just remember listening to that. You know, sometimes you listened to a podcast while you're grocery shop and you're walking as like background noise. I started listening to this one. I just sit on my couch and just like listen to it and take it in because it was this really beautiful insight into his life and

into your marriage and into your relationship. And I love how you touched on his childhood and what he went through and addiction and parenthood and all of those different topics. How do you make a decision like that as a couple to put that story out there so publicly.

Speaker 1

I think Mark has always really been proud of his story, and he feels like he wants to be of service. He grew up being of his mom still is the head of the Poor People's Army in Philadelphia. She lives in the most violent neighborhood in all of America, and she dedicates her life to, you know, putting homeless people into these takeover houses and making sure that they have

roofs over their head. And I think that Mark feels a real sense of responsibility to affect positive change, and one of the ways he really believes he can do that is by sharing his story. So he thought, what better way to do that than on my platform on the other days and still to this day, we have, by the way, interviewed, like you guys, so many celebrities, like massive celebrities with huge paws and fan base. They are still our most popular.

Speaker 3

Really because everyone had that really visceral reaction to it.

Speaker 1

We have been stopped on the street for those episodes more than anything, really more than our movies.

Speaker 3

I would believe it that.

Speaker 1

Actually, it was so profound the way he opened up, and also we really talked about our marriage and the ways in which both of our unique conditioning in our childhoods inform our dynamic and our patterns, and how there can be a certain level of toxicity in patterns when they get ignored, and just the observation of a marriage dynamic is really integral. And thank god, we've both done so much work in ourselves that when we get into a fight or when you know, as we described it

on the potty, and he describes it too. You just did a fringe show where he talked about dark Mark. Whereas like the thoughts and his conditioning and his trauma, he has immense trauma from his childhood. When that comes up, how he internalizes that that is a really big part of our relationship and the fact that we are able to when those things come up, stop unpack what's going

on without the judgment. And that's something I work on all the time, like trying not to judge it or trying not to label it, or trying not to fix, fix and nurture, because that's my conditioning is. You know, I grew up with a mother who has skids to effective disorder. It was just the two of us. So my conditioning is nurture fix mother, which is why I

have so many children. Brother, And that is a really important thing to find within your relationship, like what are both of our responsibilities and how can we co create and make sure that we are emotionally regulating one another. And it's been beautiful to talk about and cathartic, and we're so imperfect.

Speaker 4

I mean we still have fights.

Speaker 1

All the time. I'm like, ah, I get annoyed and he gets annoyed at me, and but we've made it work. We get through it, and we up level each time we have a conflict, there's an up leveling that happens, and that's how we see it. So but it's been wobbly. There have been times where it's like we're not going to make it, but then we do.

Speaker 3

Is it also nice in a way to have a bit of control over the narrative because the thing is like, if you're not putting anything out into the world, media or tabloids or fans can kind of create their own stories.

And I'm thinking of a moment from the first episode with Mark where you're talking about these paparazzi photos going everywhere from a fight you were having and some people think it was from a movie and some people are not knowing, And do you want to tell the story for that, because I'm wondering if people maybe just saw the photos and wouldn't have known this kind of backstory that led to the podcast.

Speaker 4

Yeah, Well, it was funny.

Speaker 1

We were shooting a movie, so I was producing a movie in the early days. I was twelve weeks pregnant with our baby, our first baby, body, and I was financing.

Speaker 4

His new movie.

Speaker 1

And we had only been together at this point, not very long, maybe not even a year. Wow, But I.

Speaker 3

Mean, you've got the manifestation list working.

Speaker 1

And what had happened was we were filming the movie and then I found out that he had picked up again and that he was deep in a relapse. But a part of the addictive behavior is to conceal and to manipulate and lie to preserve the thing that you have, which is for him. It was this relationship, and there's sort of a certain level of self sabotage that happened sometimes, I think with addiction. And I did not at that

point understand addiction at all. I only judged it, and I was water fight and I was pregnant and I felt trapped and I was so angry, And the paparazzi happened to be there that day when I was screaming at him and crying and just full devastation, just like I'm going to be a single mother, I'm going to be raising this.

Speaker 4

But this is not the narrative.

Speaker 1

This is not the story, This is not what I pictured for us, like I just the it felt way too overwhelming and they snapped these photos. But luckily because we happened to be shooting that day and there were some like cameras around, the Daily Mail was like, Oh, they're filming, they're practicing for a scene, they're rehearsing, and I was like, Okay, I'm good that that's just maby

that's the story. But yeah, I've always felt like, if you can share your own story, then you should, and if you have the ability to do that, It's important to me to humanize us and the positions that were in because I have looked at people in the industry who are on a pedestal and you just think they have these perfect lives and everything, and you can't help but be in a state of comparison, which is why I'm like, why.

Speaker 3

Isn't my life like that? If I just had that one thing, I would be happy. I think it's what we when we look at fame and people living their dream careers. You always think, if I just had that, I'd be happy. And as I interview more actresses through my career or all actors, or you always find there's always something. There's so many different layers to that success.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and I you know, I feel like I had an epiphany just recently, Like I was working on this show mixtape, and I was sitting on this log and we were about to shoot the scene, and I was sitting next to my coastar Jim Sturgis, who I had watched in Across the Universe and I'd seen him in twenty one, and it's like the wind was blowing, there were birds, and we were outside on this crew and I just was like, oh my gosh, I am living my dream, like right here in this moment. It just

dawned on me and I was emotional. I had like a little tear running down my face, and I was like, this is the best, and why as human beings do we keep moving the meter, we keep pushing the bar forward. I will be happy when this happens. And then you get that thing, well, now, I'll be happy when I get to this point and you keep moving the bar. And I was like, I don't want to do that anymore. I want to just look around me and be like,

I'm so happy I have everything. This is I'm so grateful and it's okay to strive for other things and have other goals, but sitting in a place of just recognizing, like I can celebrate where I am right now, that is a beautiful thing.

Speaker 3

It must be very nice for your kids to grow up in that environment where you're having that mindfulness and you're and having these conversations and even thinking they could go back and listen to your podcast and you know, one day and see that even that moment where you realize your parents are real people, Like there's a little long time where they're just your mum and they exist just for you and your dad, and then you get to that moment where you realize they're a person with

a story in histories and faults and all those things. It must be nice for the idea they could go back and listen to that one day.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and we talk to them about all this stuff, like if Mark's ever feeling low or going through a particular thing where he's missing his dad or he's thinking about his childhood. He is so open with these children. He just sits and he's like, you know, Dad's feeling pretty sad right now, and I want you guys to know that, Like it's really normal to feel sad and to cry and to have big feelings and feelings come

and feelings go, and this is what it's about. So they also don't personalize and think, oh, dad's upset because because of something I've done or and we are really we talk to them about stuff all the time and the way we see the world and like it's just to see the magic through their eyes away they look at things and their deep gratitude. I didn't have that as a kid, you know. I was just like woo woo,

you know. And I think my kids have such a beautiful awareness and a mindfulness and we're raising really conscious minded children, which is and spiritually rich kids, which is wonderful and quite a departure from my experience. I had a very dogmatic, you know, Catholic upbringing, fear based for me. And I know that's not everyone's experience, but for me, it was fear based. I need to be good otherwise I'll be punished. Yeah, I won't go to heaven.

Speaker 3

Is kind of what they tell you in a Catholic primary school. I can relate. Yes, Yes, there was still so much more to unpack with Teresa. So after the break, she opens up about friendship, both in life and in the industry, and her decision to share deeply personal moments, including the experience of pregnancy loss that's coming up next. So coming from that love that you have with your

family and your children. Something else I've noticed about following your work for many years is this love that you have for your friendships, and your female friendships in particular, because you run your podcast and your book and everything with Sarah right Olsen, who's an actress, I know that you're very close. And I love that clip at the

Actor Awards this year of you presenting Phoebe Tonkin. That was the clip that went everywhere from that show because the look on your face when you read out her name as Best Lead Actress and then she jumped up, and you have this beautiful moment of and she can't quite believe that that you've presented her with this huge award. And then just a few weeks later, you were at the gaday USA and she presented you with a big award.

And so it just isn't important to you to have these friendships be like a big thread throughout your career and your life.

Speaker 1

I think the special thing about Phoebe is we've known each other for so long and I have been her biggest cheerleader for years and years and years, and I have and I know she has too. We've both been waiting for the moment for, you know, just the industry to sort of catch up and recognize Phoebe is such an immense talent. Oh yes, and she has such a

well of depth. It is absolutely beautiful on screen and I've always seen it from the early days, and I knew she just needed that role to really showcase that, and then she got the role, and then she went in and just knocked it out of the park in every way. So she felt so deserving. And I was actually at the actors I don't know who has won. I know I'm presenting that a.

Speaker 3

Well, No, I saw the surprise on your face. I believe you.

Speaker 1

I was practicing backstage in case she won, because I had a feeling because as I've seen the show, and I was like, she's so deserving. So I was practicing saying her name in a relaxed way. Okay, just like, and the winner is Phoebe Tonkin. That didn't happen. That did not come across, and that did not come across.

Speaker 4

I really tried.

Speaker 1

Then it came out and it squeaked out of me, and I sort.

Speaker 4

Of squealed it like sort of screamed out of me.

Speaker 1

And then afterwards I saw some of the other nominees who I know in that category, and I was like, I'm so sorry. I just got so excited. I just didn't. It just burst out of me and championing her and her being my biggest cheerleader over the years too. It's just been such a comfort because you can ride the waves of Hollywood and there are peaks and they're are valleys,

but we can go through it together. And there's a whole group of us navigating at Bella heath Coat as well as another really good friend of mine, and we share in each other's losses and each other's wins, and there's no room for jealousy. Is only celebration for each other. And that has been gorgeous, and I hope that we can lead by example. There's enough room for everyone. And we're all different flavors and we all do different things, and there's room for all of us, and together we

are stronger. And you know, I just worked with Russell Crowe on Bear Country, and one of my favorite takeaways from him is he uplifts everyone around him. He offers opportunities to people all over this movie. We're supporting actors and bit players and dialect coaches and people who say like, we we owe all of this to Russell and I was like, Oh, someone in that position could hold on to this success themselves, but he is giving and sharing it, and I was like, I always want to be that way.

I want to just share an uplift and give and celebrate each other. And that's what our little crew of Ossie is actors do.

Speaker 3

That's really lovely because you do hear I mean every industry, but you do hear horror stories from Hollywood of especially this idea that there's one leading lady or ever. It's so cutthroat. And yeah, I think it was last year that Sydney Sweeney gave an interview to Vanity Fair and she's like, all that stuff you hear about women uplifting women is not true. And then all these other actresses

came out and said, that's not our experience. And I think everyone's story is their truth and they have different experiences. But if you're saying that, you've seen a completely different side of that in this little group that you've been able to build and the people that you work with. I think that's a really positive takeaway.

Speaker 4

Yeah, it feels Australian to me.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I was like, we're just like you know that Aussie matship things a very real thing. And I love them and I want the best for them and I want to see them shine, and I know they feel the same about me. So it's just a gorgeous it's a gorgeous thing, and maybe it's a rarity, but it's definitely our experience. And it's been really beautiful.

Speaker 3

You've talked in the past about pregnancy loss and written so beautifully about it in your book, and then last year sharing another story of pregnancy loss with I thought the way you did it was really interesting to share

this video to Instagram. And I know that you also did a podcast episode showing the joy of finding that out and then showing the loss, and I remember just watching that and being it's not something I've been through, but I've supported a lot of friends through it, and so sort of seeing that out in the world, and I remember clicking down into the comments and just seeing hundreds of comments from thousands, thousands of comments from women saying thank you for this, or sharing their own stories,

And what is it like to sort of, I guess, move through that moment of pain and grief with your family, but also have it out there in the world and have people reacting to it.

Speaker 1

I think it's both things. It's like really vulnerable and scary. Did I make the right choice? Because now also my pregnancy announcement keeps being linked back to my pregnancy loss, like the it can't be two separate things.

Speaker 4

It's everything.

Speaker 1

The media is like she's had a loss and now she's pregnant.

Speaker 4

So there's a part.

Speaker 1

Of me that thinks, oh, goodness, did I make the right choice?

Speaker 3

But I know that I did, because well, we just read those comments, and you know.

Speaker 1

Exactly it was the comments, and I read all of them, and I spent days love hearting every single one and trying to write back to as many as I could. But I also acknowledge that I have four beautiful, biological, healthy children that I was able to get pregnant with and grow and birth and they're healthy, and that already

can be triggering for some people. And I wanted to put out there that I also went through a pregnancy loss, and yes, I have these beautiful, healthy children, and you have the right to grieve a loss no matter how many children you have. There are some women who can't even get pregnant, and they long and long and long to be a mother. And I feel like all stories should be valid and all stories should be celebrated and told.

And I just thought, I want to put this out there because to a lot of people, they just look at me as like a breeder.

Speaker 4

I just have all these children.

Speaker 1

But also I suffered a loss, and I thought I was having this baby. I mean, you get pregnant, and I think I took it for granted because I haven't had that experience before. I did very early on. I had a mold of pregnancy back in twenty fifteen, but I was about six weeks pregnant. And it's for me, it's the breaking up with the dream that the dream of who this baby is, when they're going to be born,

what the age GAP's going to be. And so I wanted to show the high of that and the excitement with the kids, and then show the dream dissipating and that feeling of oh is this never going to happen again. So that was important to me, you know, And we had pushback on our book.

Speaker 4

We dedicated an entire chapter to pregnancy.

Speaker 3

Yes, yes, and so it's a really beautiful chapter.

Speaker 1

Thank you.

Speaker 3

It really kind of hits you for people who have been through that and for people who have that, for people in their lives and want to have a small idea of how to support them through it.

Speaker 4

Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1

And then my co host went on to have back to back to back to back losses and she's now pregnant at forty one. I saw that with her rainbow baby, who like triple quadruple rainbow baby.

Speaker 4

So that was.

Speaker 1

Really important to dedicate that time to writing that chapter in our book. This is ze Muma's Guide to finding your path.

Speaker 4

Who through Pregnancy, birth and beyond.

Speaker 1

Because you know, initially everyone was like, why would you want to write about loss and a pregnancy and birth book.

Speaker 4

I was like, because it's a part of.

Speaker 1

The journey one and four one and four women go.

Speaker 3

Yeah, exactly. It's really important to have all those different stories out there, which actually think is a beautiful thread in your new show, The Last Anniversary, which I loved, by the way, so have he. Because we see all these different versions of motherhood, we see relationships between adult mother and daughters. The first episode, you see a woman become a mother in sort of in a moment where the pregnancy comes very early and you see her sort

of struggling to bond with the baby. And then your character Sophie, which I'm going to say that's one of the most realistic portrayals I've seen of a woman who's dating but also aware. Like that moment your character stands in front of the mirror and goes, you're thirty nine, just give him another chance, and then you see she's going through a freezing her eggs process and wanting to

become a mother so badly. Is that something that drew you to the storyline as those threads of motherhood in this new series.

Speaker 1

Yes, of course I was really drawn to that. In particular, I think the postpartum depression the way that's portrayed in our show is so delicately woven in but very realistic.

Speaker 4

And the kind of.

Speaker 1

Disconnect that the character Grace has after she gives birth, I think it's such a real loss of identity and not understanding who she is or why she should love this baby, but knowing that she's meant to. That's meant to come naturally to her, and because it doesn't, she feels like a failure.

Speaker 4

And then you see the evolution.

Speaker 1

Of this character and how it gets worse and gets better, and it gets worse and it gets better. And that to me, that sort of swinging pendulum experience with postpartum depression. I didn't experience it myself what my mom did. So the way my mom talks about and explains it is the good days of bad days, the good days a bad day. So that's so well done in our show. It feels very real and Claude Scott Mitchell is breathtaking,

incredible breath taking. Her performance is exquisite in this. And then of course my character who's longing to be a mother and she's seeing these dynamics of these women with their children all around her, and it's very confronted. And then so she sort of entertains the idea of dating a douchebag who's not.

Speaker 3

Treating her well.

Speaker 1

He's the worst guy you could possibly imagine, but it's just like you're getting old chance. Yeah, give him a chance. And I'm sure people can relate to that. And that's a special thing about our show. It's multi generational. So it's a family drama, but there are access points to

everyone at all ages, at all seasons of life. There's someone that you can relate to, and they have this beautiful, imperfect dance with this their life and their their things that they struggle with and they're hardships and just being a woman and what does that mean? And I just think Leanne Moriarty is a genius. I mean we all know.

Speaker 4

This, We've read her books.

Speaker 1

She's got this beautiful recipe and she knows how to weave in real stories, meaningful stories. But then at the heart of it, there's the underpinning. Is this twists, this mystery, this secret lies, And it's really well done and I think it's going to captivate audiences.

Speaker 3

I definitely think that as well. Oh Treesa, thank you so much for again being so open here and in your life. And I can't wait to see the rest of the show. It's just incredible. Thank you, Thank you so much.

Speaker 4

This is wonderful.

Speaker 3

So I was lucky enough to attend the premiere of the Last Anniversary and it really is such an incredible show. I have just been loving the new episodes that are dropping weekly on bind and Theresa Palmer's performance in it is just incredible. So if you want to know more, we have put all the links in our show notes. The executive producer of No Filter is Niama Brown, Senior producer is Grace Rufray, sound design is Jacob Brown, and I'm Laura Brodnick. It's been a pleasure to be your

No Filter guest host today. Kate Langroup will be backing your ears on Monday with another captivating No Filter story.

Speaker 1

Bye. No

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