Gracie Otto Watched Her Dad’s Health Unfold From Behind The Camera

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If I look at the end of the film now and Dad's kind of asking me who I am, and he's a bit confused, but he kind of knows I'm someone. Now, I'm going to go see Dad in a minute, and he has no idea who I am. Last year he went from walking around the park one day to basically never walking again. It's like two hundred different light bulbs of everything you can do and they just start to shut off and you go, oh, right, great, those thirty light bulbs just went off.

Now without even realizing it. You'll know the name Otto, whether it's actor Miranda Otto or Australian performing royalty Barry Otto, or his youngest daughter my guest today director and filmmaker Gracie Otto. If you haven't heard of her, you'll definitely know her work because of the past five years she's been working back to back on projects directing Australian series with no more than a three week break. In that entire time. He may have watched The Other Guy Deadlocke,

Thanks for having met.

Yeah, well we haven't had you yet, but we will.

Yeah. Well yeah, I'll save my thanks to the end.

It's quite an achievement to get you here, because you are. I don't think it's an exaggeration one of the busiest artists in the country in terms of being a director and now an award winner. I think a lot of people wouldn't even realize how much of your work they know.

I feel like I always yeah, people are like, how long you've been in the industry for and really like, you know, I've been working since I was like eighteen, after film school, making things on it, you know, fashion films, like short films.

Like trying to do everything.

But obviously in the last few years people are kind of more aware of some of the projects that I've done.

You do span an extraordinary sort of breadth of material, really, like You've got, you know, Ladies in Black, or Heartbreak High or your new film the docco about your family, which I have to say is so extraordinary that I felt when I was watching it that my chest was being cleaved.

Heart felt like that making it.

Yes, and I'm not surprised. But my takeaway from it, which was interesting because because of your family obviously, and because of your dad Barriotto, who is a proper legiand that you have very much the sense of a woman who has been very well.

Loved by her father, Yes, which is rare.

When did you realize the weight of the surname?

I guess growing up, you know, people knew, people knew Dad is not really you know people at school or anything like that, because dad was always a theater actor. I think it was like when I was in year ten and I got to go on set.

On a lot of the Rings on my school holidays and.

I didn't know anything about the book or the movie or you know, anything or whatever. It was just like happy to like get out of the country and like, you know, have some time with Miranda. And I remember coming back to school and like your eight kids and lots of kids kind of coming up to ask me about that, Whereas you know, I didn't really know anything

But when you were at school, your interests you were sporty.

Yeah, yeah, I was very musical and sporty, like I played an indoor Australian soccer team and I played New South Wales softball. And my whole life, you know, with my mum was dedicated to driving from Burgo's High School to Narrabi Sports Academy or like up that way down back to Bonnie rig for soccer training. And mum was great, and I think, you know, I've got such a close relationship because she would read. I'm like, you know, I read like two books in my life and I don't

That's kind of how it went.

Because you would have thought, probably, I mean, your your sister is an actress, that you would have been an actress, and that was a you tried being an actress.

I did drama at school.

I did Stephen Burkoff piece that I remember they had banned me from doing because I had to masturbate on stage. And that was the only time I actually saw Dad down the hallways in the school looking for the principal's office.

I was like, what is he doing here, because he was like, my.

Daughter wants to perform this, and they actually let me do it, which was great, and I was in like a group show. But really I had this teacher, missus Hardin, who built girls.

I mean now a lot of the public schools.

I'm very proud public school girl, even though at the time I really want to go to private school so I could go on sea trips and go to the parties and do all that. But I had a teacher, Miss Hardy, who taught Certificates three in film and it wasn't part of the HC or UAI or whatever, but it was like.

An extra unit.

And she taught me, like on VHS, how to you know, edit, and we set up cameras and I remember the first DA when I was trying to set up my camera and I was like, oh, it's not working, and she was like, it is working. And you know, being a female, if you just stay on set like oh this this equipment is not working, You're not going to get anywhere. And so she was actually like I remember she took

It's an interesting thing in the docco that you see the world of your family, and in some ways it's what you would expect from a very artistic family, you know, the clutter and the art and the eccentricity, and it's glorious. The shambling, rambling house. At the other end of that spectrum, there's like a real groundedness in it. As a family.

Dad did mostly theater and like even Belvoir at the time, I can't remember what exactly the structured contracts, but everyone got paid the same, like the cleaner kind of got paid the same as the lead actor or you know, so it was a kind of you know, Dad was the income on that. Obviously he did you know, a few films and like you do ads or whatever. And then Mum's always been like, you know, extremely left wing and you know, hated the eastern suburbs, hated private stores.

The normality is very as I said, very grounding for you. But then your life has also been extraordinary, starting with, as you said, when you were really young, So when you had that appetite to go overseas and to start living a creative life, and you went to France when you were seventeen.

Yeah, I've scored. I was seventeen, cause I think I just went.

I just got dressed to go to kindergarten like a year early, and mom was like, well, I guess we'll just let her go.

So I finished.

I actually finished year twelve, I think I was. I just turned seventeen or yeah, yeah, and I went straight. Well, I played soccer in Greece. I was on a tour with the indoor Australian team. And then after that I had a French exchange shit at my friend Marine, because I remember she came to high school and everyone was like, you know, people didn't really want to take her around, and I was like, I will take the French girl around.

I mean we you know, lost a lot of money.

We were homeless for about I don't know, three weeks nearly, just sleeping on random's couches. And it was just that thing with that pride where you were like, you're not an adult, but you're not a kid, so you kind of you know, and it was pre obviously social media, like you'd skype your family like once a week or whatever, but you never wanted to admit that you'd.

You know, messed up and like things weren't going well.

Like all I wanted to do was you know, go to film school or you know immerse most and I was working at the Scottish pub, earning five years an hour and being like an all pair.

Still like one of the best times in my life.

Yeah, and so obviously you learned to speak French then, yeah, I was very termed to speak French.

I did French in high school and for my HSC and then we went out one night was with Jean Pierre Backri as this French actor and Vick Shdrosso is a French soccer player. Randomly we met them like on the street. He was like driving past his Lamborghini or something. Yeah, we're eighteen.

I was like blah, blah blah. And we went out to Yeah.

I was trying to say that I played soccer for Australia and they were all kind of just laughing at me. And it was like something in my life I could never like rebut and never chime in with something smarter us or sarcastic, and because.

I didn't have all the language.

So my friend actually and I just went out every night to nightclubs for about probably like ten months, and I mean I met some whack people, but it was great and I really became quite fluent in French. And then I was like, you know, I hadn't studied it at school, so I knew how to whip out the subjunctive tents or like impress people and stuff. But I do speak very fast in French, so people to you, is it very hard.

I lived in Italy for two years and yeah, the speed, the boo. I was just I just could never get on board with it.

I love it.

I went there last years and took me over there, which is so kind and it was great, but it took me a few days.

And I was listening to SBS French radio.

Like walking around here for about a month beforehand, just to try and you know, get back in the zone because i'd arrive in people like, is it boring?

I might, I just can't remember how.

Well you do. You have to develop a different side of yourself when you're used to having so many words at your disposal and suddenly you don't have them. You have to be very you're very gestural, and you suddenly become a mime artist, which is appropriate for Paris.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

And then at what point did you start to become a storyteller?

I did.

I write a script with my one of my best friends about that experience in Paris, Augusta Miller, and we worked on that for a few years.

And I think it was just I was.

Like nineteen and you know, I'd made maybe probably I was like twenty one, I'd made like four short films, and I just couldn't understand why I couldn't get a feature off the ground, like now you know, it takes like ten years and we're going to all the markets in cann and I really, you know, wanted to make that film.

And then I met Michael White there.

And I guess my experience of the documentary I wasn't interested in film school in it really at all, and I am fascinated by people and not knowing about topics and things because I guess I never went to university. So for me, I always see it as like a study of something, and I just found Michael this interesting character that I want to know more about. And it was like always heay to people making documentaries like jumping

You've had a lot of intense spirits, but I just want to get this right. You will jump from Deadlock to Heartbreak High. You're doing the Zimmerman fashion films and also you're working on Auto by Auto at the same time. What was that.

Period like, I think for me, Yeah, coming back to Australia after living in LA for like three and a half years, and all of a sudden I got Bump And it was just when COVID started. I think I'd been offered a story that was like a kind of a whole thing on SBS or Bump, and I spoke to my friend Shanna Murphy and she said, do Bump because it's you're going to do the middle block and you'll show people that you can just come in and

Was that was a hectic. Yeah, that was a hectic time.

But when you or doing those jobs at once, like, how do you nourish yourself?

Like I did take care of myself.

Yeah, like very well, Like I think I yeah, I think I've just realized in the last few weeks, I was like, I kind of really want to have some fun again.

And you know, that's why I was great going not to the Actor Awards, I just going.

To dinner with friends or going to like a few events and parties that I haven't been to and just getting you know, that's why I kind of really want to go away again because that was always my way of getting some kind of creating first or like feeling an inspiration again.

So it's been hard. I've been very I'm very tunnel vision though.

So when I work, you know, like I kind of work all weekend and you know, work nights, and you know, I don't have kids and don't have a partner, so it's kind of like I am able to make that sacrifice and I love working, like you know, I just yeah, I am someone who's kind of always been driven by work first, and that makes me, you know, feel good.

Your link with fashion is one of the things that I find so surprising because there's a real groundedness in you that I also see in your mum Sue that you show really beautifully in the docco. But it's not something that you normally associate with fashion because fashion is sort of seen as being aloof maybe you know, it's never basic and it's always kind of lofty, and yet you're so immersed it's become a seamless part of your repertoire as well.

I'm so unfashionable, Like I literally wear black out of our shorts and a black t shirt every day and shay sneakers are.

They'll be fashion. I've always been interested.

In fashion, not as much as Dad, Like Dad would spend the whole day like flinting this out for an event, but I did.

I kind of thought about it all when I went.

Zimmerman took me over last year when they had one of Dad's prints and they put it on a dress and they kindly, just so awesome invited me to Paris for the show and the dress opened their Paris Fashion Week collection, And yeah, I remember being really nervous going to the event because I was like, well, I know, I was really gonna take my photo anyway, but I was like sitting in the front row and I was only, God,

It doesn't.

But then when I thought about all the people that like, you know, I like or whatever, it's like fashion really is, you know, personal, and it's your own thing because you always have that thing of going, oh I should wear that, or you know that's kind of what's in at the moment or whatever, but really your tastes and fashion and they're the people that, like, you know, in the street

I was like, I don't know who that is, but that is the best outfit.

And then he won for best Costume and I was like nice, But like that kind of individual, you know, take on something is is I don't know what I guess fashion.

Is, and it's it is a yeah, it's a completely different world.

And I actually was so inspired watching Nikki's immim and backstage because you know, because she's such a hard worker, like she goes from collection to collection, and she was getting the collection ready and it was about to show the next day and I was just there kind of like doing some bts and stuff and just watching her, and she was like, my brain's already onto the next project. And I was like, that's so interesting because when I direct TV, I'm so immersed in the show I'm doing.

And then my other brain's going, well, what else can we do? You know?

What else is that?

Thinking about that dress? Now?

This is the dress that you ended up wearing to the actors. Yeah, it's got your dad's art on it. It's the most spectacular dress.

It was just a yeah were you coincidence where I'd posted a photo dad's one day on Instagram Stories and Nikki called me and goes, what is that? And I was like, oh, something Dad did and she was like, well, oh, it's kind of like really to.

Do with my new collection.

And then we started talking and you know, because we didn't really hang out much during those COVID I did four big shows for them, and there's you know, it's such a machine as like, you know, twour people who work on it.

There's people doing content, people doing this.

I was curely just directing the Runway show and so she's so busy and stuff. So I've become really good friends with them and they're such a great they're such a great family. She's such an amazing you know, the whole holes in them family are just incredible what they've done.

How did you first get involved with them?

Evolved through a friend who was like who became a friend as someone who reached out on Instagram and they were producing I think the set design this company called Riser, Yeah, and it kind of came about and I was, yeah, just thinking, oh, that could be really interesting because it was such a different working with big set design and pieces and five cameras at once, which is very much like playing soccer, like how to move all the cameras so that they don't see each other, and it's like

That's not all of my conversation with Graciotto. After this quick break, we talk about when Gracie realized she was making a different film to the one she thought she was making. We'll be right back. Well, also, I would imagine it's a funny feeling walking onto a set when the set is your house and your home and the subject is your dad, and you're kind of opening up that aspect of your life.

Yeah, it was interesting because I guess on the doco I shot, like, I was a bit embarrassed on the cinematographer on it because I shot most of the documentary. But I had a different relationship with dad obviously than a camera person. So a lot of the greatest stuff we should I shot or whatever it was on the iPhone, you know, So that was an interesting medium as well,

He killed someone once, Like you gotta get round of it.

Yeah, so there's some kind of beauty and that more fly on the wall style stuff. I mean, Yeah, it was interesting seeing it back at the film Festival and yeah, because it's just yeah, it's just kind of like I mean, I post a lot of Instagram stories, so people who like follow me on Instagram kind of have a bit of an insight into, you know, my life with Dad.

But yeah, it was such a long journey making that film.

It was the iPhone footage probably was part of the reason also that it felt so intimate.

Yeah, and really it was like, I mean a huge testament.

Like Karen Johnson, my editor, and Cody green wooded to Color Donahue, my producers, like they really like if it wasn't for them, the film would have never because you know, it was about a man. It was about a father doing a one man show. That's what I want to do. Like I'm not I'm not someone who likes I'm quite a vulnerable person. I don't like to ever have a cry or tell anyone my feelings or give anyone a hug.

I'm not like a huge, you know, feelings person.

So it was really like, all of a sudden, I was like, wow, this is like a really raw feelings and they really you know, and Karen spent months by herself really crafting that documentary because like I was busy obviously working on TV, and I wanted to do the film and I wanted to finish it, and I wanted to be part of it and all of that.

But I also was kind of like.

Living it as well, so it wasn't like, you know, it wasn't like, oh, yeah, I can't wait to go over and like shoot some more stuff like because it Yeah, it was a weird thing of kind of kind of yeah, I guess what mentally, I guess expression I was going through at the time. Like I was talking to Mum last night about it, because I was thinking, oh, you know, there was someone who got up at Sydney Film Vessel and said, oh, she should have stoped filming at the end when he was sick, and.

You know whatever.

And I was like, oh, maybe they're going to ask me about that tomorrow on the podcast. And we were just talking about it when I was driving last night.

Of knows I'm someone.

Now I'm going to go see Dad in a minute, and he has no idea who I am.

And he can barely walk anymore.

But like you know, when I was in Darwin filming last year, he went from walking around the park one day to basically never walking again. And you kind of go, oh, that happened. That happened really suddenly. You can see that that milestone, you know, was like now that his bed there's been moved downstairs and he lives in the living room at.

The pink pong table.

You know, that happened, like yeah, and that happened like overnight, whereas there's other stuff where it kind of you know, would take years to figure out. You go, oh, he totally, he totally gets it. And then you're like, oh, no, yeah, he's really not understanding anything. So I think it's such a personal different journey.

As you said, you were starting to make a doc about your dad who wanted to do a one man play. It was kind of a it was a really gorgeous you know collusion of your skills and his skills, and this is something we're going to do together. And through the course of the film it becomes apparent that this is really not going to be possible. At what point did you realize that you were telling a very different story than you thought you were going to tell.

I feel that we finished filming probably in twenty nineteen twenty, and now I just got really busy on TV for like two years, and we took them like I took a break from it because it was kind of like, yeah, what is like we were originally going to maybe film some segments of this monologue at the play he wanted to do maybe we could do something like that, and I kept trying to, you know, say that to Dad, but he wasn't interested in that because he hadn't come

I can see it like just disappearing.

Was there a distance in you as Graciotto who's making a docco versus Graciotto, the daughter who's watching her dad in this decline?

No, Like, I guess there is a distance in it because because we knew each other so well, and then as it goes on, he doesn't like kind of by the end. That was the last thing I shot actually was I went and he had an air tag and I was I think I was on a heartbreak high in Post and I had it on my phone because Mum hadn't set it up, and he's the hot Chips and I could see where he was because he would go out and just walk and get lost. And I saw he was in like Broadway, which is so far

And I had to go.

And he was just walking out of the street and I was like, I remember that when I was like that, he was not really going to be sure who I am out of context, and I pulled up and said, hey, I think you know you should get like a you know, AIG guy came.

Kid in the car, like, I think you kind of should.

Come in the car with me, and I had a bottle of water for him, and he was like kind of just yeah, really confused, and we drove home.

And then that's when I got home and he goes, who is everyone?

And I was like, right, okay, I'm going to show you. And i'd been watching a Louis the Row documentary a few times. He did a whole series on dementia and Alzheimer's, which is quite interesting because it's like I would watch it at different points throughout the year and go, oh, Dad's like kind of the first early pat and then now he's there and there's this amazing woman who's like,

Yeah.

Yeah, oh wow, you know, and she sadly our you know, best friends we grew up with. Their mother got it really young and she's you know, she's probably about five years more advanced than dad.

And that's been. So that's been.

You know, they were at the premiere, which is really nice because we went to primary school together and stuff, and so yeah, I've been able to kind of I had been able to watch what was happening with Janet and seeing that that's what you know, Yeah, it's an inevitable, terrible decline. That's like, yeah, now you're going to take that away from them, you know.

Yes, yes, And also it's so multifaceted because they're losing themselves. But along the way they're also losing you. Yeah, and those moments must just be very confronting.

Yeah, I think as I've been away a lot as well, like I would fly back on the jobs to see down every few weekends. But I think when we were shooting Deadlock season two in Darwin, and you know, it went from him being able to walk up the stairs to his bedroom overnight to like my brother having a movie his bed downstairs and kind of going he'll never get to the staircase again, and go, I might want to go up here.

That's that's gone now.

For me, I always say, it's like, you know, it's like two hundred different light bulbs of everything you can do, and they just start to shut off and you go, oh, right, great, those thirty light bulbs just went off now and now he's you know, he's not in a wheelchair yet. We have nurses who come every day and he walks down the road.

But yeah, he now can't really and he talks to mum.

He can say a sentence when he wants to, like when he wants to tell you to go away, or you know, when he's like because you don't.

Want to invade him, we'll get too close to him anymore.

You know, he can say something when he wants to, but at the moment he's he doesn't really form sentences anymore. So that's been like a huge, huge, sad decline in the past year since the film's come out.

I remember reading someone talking about their mum with dementia and saying, it's like watching and die a thousand times.

Yes, yeah, I know.

I think every Christmas, I'm like, oh, every Birthday with him, I kind of got I didn't think he'd be here. So now we're just like, yeah, mum's really determined to keep him at home, which we're all supporting, and she's you know, as I've said, she's like a hero.

She looks after him and.

Oh, she's incredible, and she's slowly starting to be able to like kind of get a bit of her life back in that way, Like now you can kind of leave him for you know, an hour and come back to him, and he sits in his chair all day. There's no worry about his safety of like walking out the door or anything like that anymore. So, you know, but hopefully it mean soon we'll get to a stage when you know, he doesn't go to the park anymore.

And it'd be nice. I think that's the next step.

When he's officially in the wheelchair, that will then be able to wheel him out and you know that will be a whole new chapter for him.

For the moment, we're just trying to keep him walking.

Gray. See the cats your dad's cats, can you say in the doc ow and it's I think it will resonate with so many people because you're you said, never had a computer, didn't have a mobile phone, so kind of lost touch with the with a lot of friends and a lot of the outside world. But his greatest loves are his cats.

Yeah, I mean it's true.

And like Boga, I've got a little sticker with Boga Bogat goes.

I'm someone made them for me, so I put them on all the camera for me.

Yeah, and like Boga, like they're animals are amazing.

Like I know peop always say dogs are amazing. Cats are amazing too.

But they know when someone done well, and they know when like in Boga, for someone who's not a service dog, she's a cat. She waits for him, She walks with him, like when he used to walk around by himself. She would walk next to him like she is someone that like really protects him and she goes to bed with him.

It's like her routine every night. And that's you know, part of.

The reason he's not in a home is because Mom was like, I just can't take her away from the cats, like you can get these kind of like Alzheimer's cats that are like a toy that's kind of vibrating and what he looked at those, but it's like, no, he loves his cat and.

They know him so well. There he's familiar.

He still knows he calls them both Bella or Bobo at the moment.

Yeah, he still he still knows their name, Mum. And it will never forget my brother. He's always like Eddie, you know.

And then when you are navigating, like you said someone at the was at the film festival who said you should have stopped filming or whatever when your dad got sick, how do you discuss as a family Because in the Docco and your dad, who's just such a naturally flamboyant and extrovert and beautiful, mischievous character, and you have a really lovely conversation with him about vanity where you say to him, you know, do you think you're vain, and

It's interesting because that scene, we weren't aware he had Alzheimer's then, So when I was shooting him in the hospital he went in for an operation. If you go in for a hip operation or anything under general anesthetic and you have Olzheimers can really rapidly increase it. And so it's interesting because all that footage that I'd shot, like we weren't aware at the time, and watching any of that footage fact that there was that that's you know, when you see it in context over the few years,

Like I don't put as much you.

Know, I put nice videos up because people are so interested in Dabt on instagramly like he looks so chic with his hat on and he's sitting in his chair.

But I'm definitely not filming.

As much of him anymore because it's it kind of feels like that's you know, we got to the end of the film, and that was you know, how I want to remember him.

When you refer to your dad's sense of humor, that is just such an underlying nourishing thing in the film, is that it's not obviously someone's decline is sad, but we are all going one way or the other. But the beauty of his humor and his engagement with you is very uplifting in an extremely painful way.

Yeah, okay, well, thank you. Like trying to think what the question was.

Well, I was it was really more about how you discuss as a family, like what bits you're going to leave in or what bits you're going to leave out? Is it a family discussion or a project for you?

We definitely sent not the final cut, but what was getting close to the final cut I sent to Miranda and Mum because I think the moment was a.

Really hard process.

Like I think, you know, she didn't really want to be part of it because she's so behind the scenes person and I think, you know, there's a lot of anger that comes with Alzheimer's as well, and she copped it for a few years from Dad, and people, you know, don't realize that that, like they go. You know, they can go through a very angry phase and usually take it out on the person who cares about them the most.

Know, he'll go Mama, like you know, because he doesn't know who any one is, but he knows Mum.

And so she yeah, it was actually really amazing because she I don't ever see him, like a photo of her once like that was in a frame of her and dad in.

The bedroom in a bikini or whatever.

And then I finally got her to find her archive of photos, and I think that was and she just turned seventy, not that she'd like me to say that, but and I was over Easter, like when her birthday is, and I was scanning them furiously, like three thousand photos on my Easter break. And I think for her it was actually this really new love affair with Dad and

You know, she's she's still going with.

This because you know, a lot of people say to her and friends, they're like, you should just put him in a home, like it's not fair on you, and she's like, this is what I want to do and you have to respect it. That's what she wants to do in her life moment. She wants to take care of him, which is so nice. I'm not as nice as that. You know a lot of people Aren'ta's like, you know, she just thinks about people before she thinks about herself.

Coming out, we talk about the moment Gracie won the Actor Award for Otto by Otto, she finally won Don't go Anywhere, and even in the course of your your family that you are a family, and yet Miranda has a different mother and then you and your brother Eddie came along, like your mom is obviously capable of really creating a world that brings everybody in.

Yeah, she was very like wanting to have her career and kind of had two kids and decided she was going to be, you know, a full time mum and and that's all she's done like most of her life, where she could have probably done really great other things, but you know, she's very proud of that, and there was great for us to have her around.

Was she she was not at the awards at the.

Actors No, yeah, no, she wasn't at.

The Actors and you gave her a beautiful shout out.

Oh it really we honestly really did not think we were going to win.

And I had thought the night before I thought, oh, I only one of those idiots if we win that doesn't have a speech.

But I was like like, I was like, oh, it.

Was just like I didn't even want to go there thinking about writing something because it was like too emotional, and then to go to the emotions that like not weir and then be like, oh, I just wrote this speech in my head. So we were just like down in drinks and like my doco team and i'd ha like a really great time. And then it was the cheer that we heard when they announced they were announcing them.

That was like really big, and I was like, oh god.

And then I saw the camera and I know were five camera setups, so they only had four cameras and so they won't get a right to one every no beerneath and then the other cameras went straight around to Miranda just before it, and then I went, oh, okay, it's happening. And then I just you know, I just said, I round up like a football player, because I just was like if.

I stopped, I'll start crying.

And you start like Miranda a kiss on the way up to went.

And grabbed it. I was looking at it. That thing.

God. I didn't even like shape the people who presented it, but I think I just was like it was. It was actually like we were like producers and I was saying, we were like, it's an amazing feeling, like it's a huge adrenaline rush and I've been nominated before and you have the adrenaline rush, and then it's kind of this sense of relief because you're like, oh, I didn't win, I don't have to get up there.

It's all good. I can just enjoy my night now. But yeah, we were just on a high. The whole night. I had a great time up there.

You enjoyed your night in a different way.

Yeah, I went, We did all the press and stuff, and then I was like, oh my god, I need a col mum, but I didn't have my phone did to go back through and so I facetimed her off some random camera person's phone and I.

Was like whoa and she was like hello Sue speaking.

I was like you know, and then it was yeah, and then we were just like, I mean it was Yeah, it took like a week to come down from that high, but yeah, we're very.

Yeah, thrilled.

There was a video of you beforehand saying autos don't.

Win well, like I feel like we don't, like we're going through dad's career.

I was like, oh, I didn't win for like a win for Blissle.

I think that or yeah it's interesting, So I mean, yeah, we'll take it.

We'll take it.

Because I think it is an extraordinary piece of work. You know, where does it sit internationally? Like does it get to go to like into other festival competition? Does it travel the world?

Now?

What happened?

Really?

I think we're streamers as well.

It's like it's standing with the streamer, so once it's out on stream, you can't play festivals, which is something that hopefully maybe in the future they things change. So we got to play at Sydney Film Festival and then it was coming out like a few days later. That was the kind of league. So really it's kind of finished, it's run, and yeah, it's been like that's why it's been good to have a few weeks off, a few times of reflection because I am very like, you know,

Now just trying to think about really think about what, you know.

What project I want to attached to, what I want to do next, and yeah, try I think it was just, you know, I think years I've been so excited to be off jobs and I've been really lucky to have taken jobs that ended up being really good shows and with really great actors and everything.

And now I'm just kind of like I have.

Got a bit of the bug to go overseas again, not necessarily to live there, or anything, but just to kind of have a little bit of fun.

Well what would that be? What would the fun be?

I used to travel by myself all the time, like I think I would. I don't think I've been in a city longer than like three weeks. I'm very I'm not good at like commitment or life I want to say relationships, but like I always kind of you know, I always dated people lift in other countries, so I could, like, you know, I really enjoy my independent space, and I

And do you think these like this desire to extend yourself personally into yourself rather than just through work, the cooking, the training, the time at home, the renovation. Do you think it's come about as a result of the film the doco that you've processed certain aspects without even realizing it about yourself and the way that we live life, the way that you're living life.

Yeah, I think it's been a long journey with the documentary and I think, yeah, it's kind of like I'm ready for the next chapter. Like I know Dad's still here at the moment, but it's kind of like it does feel like the next chapters coming, which I'm excited by and I'm excited he's still here for that next chapter. But yeah, it's like I kind of get you know, like I said that book, I read like I do want to live forever and I like I you know, I've packed a lot into my life and will continue

So I'll be trying to do that in Sydney.

Yeah, right, Well that's it sometimes. And also when you're working at that intensity, you're the city in which you live is as foreign a destination as any other that you can encounter.

Yeah, and that's why I think the skills that I haven't learned over the past few years is the hiat exercise.

Like I think the three things.

You know, my friend Lara has a cooking business, nutrition business, and she does these lessons on FaceTime. I've been cooking, like, you know, steak with like source Diane like light lunches, snacks, smoothies, and it's been like I'm just like, oh my god, how did I not know how to cook a potato?

Or like, how did I not know how to like handle a piece of meat?

And then my friend Joe joh my god on Instagram She's an amazing makeup artist and I paid her to teach me to do.

My own makeup. And I was like those those two things.

And then the personal trainer of was personal trainer A Lane is like just awesome because it's like I've been going I was going to the gym in Brisboe last year on deadlock and you know, from soccer, like I know how to train, but like to specifically train on certain things that work for my body. I was just like I can't and you, my friend's are like you love structure. I can't believe. And I was like those three sets of skills because I'm, you know, at thirty seven,

And what do you think of yourself or I think of myself? I don't know. Can you make yourself in a different way when you have time around quite entertained by my Like I can entertain myself quite well.

I enjoy I do. I really enjoy in my own company. I'm always like, as soon as you know on set, I'm sorry, I love being around two hudred people, and then I actually really love all of a sudden being around no one. And then as soon as like you know, there's too many people trying to contact me or hang out or whatever, I get overwhelmed and I'm like, oh, I just want everyone to go away. And then after twenty four hours when everyone leaves me alone, I'm like, where is everyone?

Where all my friends? I want to hang out? You know.

So I have this kind of like energy of like I'm very present, I think when I'm in the moment, and I have you know, I'm really lucky to have a lot of friends. And sometimes I feel bad because I haven't seen my friends for a year. But it's like, I guess, you know, I'm not like a big hangout with a big group kind of person.

But when I see someone it's like intense and it's like, you.

Know, yeah, it does take a certain sort of friend to be a friend to someone who's working at that intensity that they just have to trust that after a year or two years or whatever, you'll be back.

Yeah.

And I you know, I've missed all my friends overseas because I really haven't been away for so long. So you know, there's people from you know, COVID that I just like, like they were my best friends before COVID and I was always in La or in Paris, and you know, now it's like, what'sapped them every a few months and send them a voice message.

I want to ask you because you worked on Heartbreak High, which was you know, groundbreaking in so many ways and so popular around the world. But because you've been working in the industry for since you were so young, it kind of feels like you're older than you are in terms of your maturity when you were working with such a young cast, a coolsy cast as well.

They're very under gust yeah, weren't they.

What did it feel like being with them?

There's a big one show that I've been on that I was like the average age on set, like I am always like uptil puble. Now, I've always been like the youngest, and especially being the gener I've always loved been around older people. It was interesting because it was kind of like I used my school diary when I pitched on it. We had a train map of all the people who hooked up with different guys on the train, and so I kind of, you know, i'd use that in my pitch deck as a kind of you know,

They yeah, had been like a learning curve for them.

And I don't know, because I've never been as well known as they would have been at that age, so you know, I think, but I have been out with them a few times when like, you know, walking down the street and people like when I first came out, we're just calling out to them, and I was like, that's crazy.

I can't imagine that.

I really like, you know, I know that sometimes if I go somewhere or walk somewhere, but like, mainly I'm pretty you know, I can just live my life, which I think, you know, must be hard for people who are famous.

Yes, Oh it's brutal and often becoming famous. You know, they say that you're set in stone at the age at which you become famous, which explains I think why some uber famous Hollywood actors are a little bit atrophied when it comes to development.

Yeah, totally, yeah, and I'd be very lucky in that regard.

And also like directors, like, no one really you know, like no one really kind of like wants to follow their lives around is you know, it's always about the actors.

This is a big question, but what have you learned? Do you think about life in the context of your father's journey and the journey that you've gone on with him.

I'm very early on like the game of life that you only have one shot at life, and you only have one time that you're going to be thirty six and thirty seven, thirty eight and thirty nine. So I'm very like not about wasting time and always up for everything. I think Dad's you know, the big takeaway for me

That helps me when sometimes I'll think something in my head and go just be kind.

Well, you know, there's sometimes you have to be unkind to be kind.

Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking of myself as a verse it. But I think you can always, you know, be like strive for more kindness.

Well, it's interesting because Otto Bioto is very kind. I think it's very kind. And I think it's also because, as I said earlier, we know the trajectory of life and we're all take us except for you, who's going to live forever, but that we know I.

Get killed today.

That's right.

I do have a psychic sense that I'm trying to understand more about now in life. Like if I think of someone like, they will text me or they will appear in my algorithm even though I haven't looked.

At their things the name. So I do have it, and I do have something.

Sometimes it happens where my wake up and kind of my brain goes, just be careful, and I'll stop at the lights and like not run the orange light, and a car will run the other light, and I'll be like, and I am waiting for the day. Someone just goes cut like I'm in the Truman Show, and I go, oh, I knew something was going on, Like you know, I'm very into like not reincarnation, but like into the other life.

Really? Yeah?

Yeah, I'm not a person. You don't think it was a person?

No, I think it was either like a really old man or an animal. Yeah, but yeah, I'm kind of I'm interested in that side of stuff because I'm not.

Religious.

Well that is religious, Yeah, that's probably the definition of religions.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not into into heaven and hell and like whatever. I'm more just like, where does the spirit go? Like when Michael White died, I felt his spirit on my back for about a month.

I felt like I could i him.

And I went to a crazy dinner party at Cheer Coppola's or whatever, and this Disney young actress just started they were doing a seance. It was something, and then she just turned around and started screaming at me. She goes, You've got something on your back, And I was like, oh, yeah, so I'm very into the spiritual. Yeah, I actually in Melbourne recently, stay in the place that had something bad happening.

Then was when David Lynch started.

He was such a huge inspiration to me and I had I was watching his films, but it was the layout of the house and it felt very trapped and I think it was actually my body resetting over the five years back to like you know, two point zero version of me or something was. It was like the new software. I had to just go on this like I never really get like I don't don't suffer from

So I did that. I've resetted.

Reset in the concept of you on a different level of the game. Do you think when you watched your dad that he's on a different level of the game.

Like it's like he was a player that got inserted in the Rock time. Here's a character from always has been eighteen hundreds that like they went, oh, we forgot to put him in the game. We'll put him in nineteen forty and so yeah, you know, so he's like cruising around as this kind of because he is like a bit of an old soul.

Like my grandma died when I was on Ladies in Black.

And we were all really close to her, and then like we didn't tell Dad because like he wouldn't understand, but he would just sometimes go, Nanny's here, like a week after she died and look to the corner of the room. And so he's kind of like a little good luck charm. If I'm like, you know, wanting someone a text me, I'll go and like rub his head and like get good luck from him.

So and Baz Luhman always found your dad a good luck charm.

Yeah, I know.

I'm just so sweet because I did my first work experience luckily with Bads, which he would never get me to do again, because I was in high school and it was on the Chanelle Ad and it was like five hours of watching the understudy, like the person coming in for the lighting for Nicole, who was beautiful in this like male model, and I was like they should just be in it there amazing, and then it was like Nicole came in and you were like, how he's get it and they were just getting ready to do

Like even when I interviewed.

Him, I reached out and you know, and he had to cancel it. And it was the Oscars and he was like nominated. There was all this stuff going on, and I remember when it came through and they were like, look, bads, it's going to have to reach schedule. So yeah, yeah, of course, and they're like, he's so sorry, but he could probably do it like four days time, and he was.

In the minute. He's like, I'm so sorry.

I was in Italy and then I went here and we're just about to do the oscars, but you know, and I just thought, oh my god, like you've got up in the books, Baz, like.

You know, because he didn't have to do that for me, Like it was just so kind.

Kind there is again.

Yeah, really boring word to be described by, but.

A really good one, and all the better for people who necessarily don't have it, do you know what I mean? All they could do is dream of it. Yeah, Graciotto. I look forward to seeing what you do in the rest of your life when you live forever. Thank you for your body of work. Yes, oh no, that's all right. It's all right if I say it. It's all right if I say it to you. Thank you for your

Yeah, thanks so much for having me.

This was one of my favorite conversations with someone whose family has had such a big but largely unspoken impact on me and my consumption of, you know, arts life in Australia. I loved her honesty, I loved her father, I loved her family, I loved her mother, I loved her sister. I loved all of her and I really appreciate her sharing her family legacy with us, and it's