From Husbands to Friends, Poh Ling Yeow Has Mastered Breakups

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I was kind of the one that made the first move. I was just painting one day in front of the and I was standing in front of the easel and it just came to me clear as a bell.

It was like, you need to do.

It right now. And I literally legged it to the birth death marriages and got a divorce kid and then served it to him. Hi.

I'm Kate Lanebrook and welcome to No Filter. I don't think you could find anyone in Australia who doesn't absolutely adore Poling. Now, even if people don't know, she's got three names, and her name isn't just Poe. I mean those are my words, not hers, And honestly, I think it made her a little bit uncomfortable when I said it to her face, but it's true. There's something about Poe. She's one of those rare people who bring sunshine into any room she walks into. Now you might know her

It's amazing that that was on my list.

Well, and who even knew that that was a thing.

I did the show last night and made the mistake of having dinner with them after the show. Yes, I'm very shabby. I'm wearing the same book. Oh so, Oh my gosh, you're hilarious. Yes, it's terrible. It comes.

Did you do Walk of Shame to work today?

Yeah? I did exactly, and I thought I'll poell understand.

I totally understand. I love it.

What would you make someone who's hungover?

Oh congie? Oh the rice poy because it's got ginger, it's you know, it's like very warming and slurpy.

Oh so not a fried thing?

No, oh yeah, I would do conji. And then you have all the pickles and stuff like that with it.

Really okay because I am a bit pickled, are you? So you don't need any more pickles? And you know the other thing, because people were talking us, in fact, everyone that I've mentioned that I'm going to be talking to you, yeaes seed. Everyone's like, this will not come as a surprise to you. Oh my god, I love Poe.

It's so lovely.

It's so lovely. But I need to know who hates Poe, who.

Hates po people out there? I'm sure, But do you know what's really interesting? I think if you because on my socials they don't really show up. Now that I've now that I've said this, they will. And the more commercial you become, the more invite of course. So when I was at the ABC, I had a lot of Nan haters Nan. Yeah, like on the ABC that stupid girl and her fake last that kind of thing. And also I saw that in that little cut she put the salt in and the salt still on the table.

Oh I can't you know that kind of thing? Well that not really.

You know, you say proper travel through life?

Yeah, deeply and resoundingly loved, which is very unusual from someone who occupies a public space.

That makes me feel so uncomfortable, I know.

But it is quite an extraordinary thing. No one ever goes op pos. She's very polarized.

It's just not a phrase that exists, is it.

Look, whenever I say this, I feel very self conscious because it sounds like I'm giving myself a pat on the back, But I'm not. I feel so loved by the Australian public generally and I'm so grateful for it, and I want to acknowledge it because I feel so.

Fortunate to have that.

And I don't know why, but there are lots of people that are annoyed by me. They pop up once in a while, not not lots a few.

People out there. I think maybe with your maybe with your like market benchure, maybe with jam face, your cooking business, there'd be some other people that are like I was making those biscuits before Poe or some kind of like little yeah, little yeah or something yeah.

And I've had people get really mad at me because I couldn't come out and like, you know, sign a napkin when I was in the middle of running the bakery. I don't realize that they're not watching Telly. I'm actually an accounted for body at work, do.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, So and then they're like, you know, she snubbed me, And I was like, I didn't snub you. I just was like in the middle of serving like thirty customers.

Well, because this is a very interesting thing about you as well. So you're an artist. I think people know that. I think so yeah, before you started like cooking, yes, yeah, yeah, you have your own business. I do you live in Adelaide, Yes, and your business is run by you? Yes, it is. So you don't have a commercial kitchen where you've got minions. No. No.

So I tried to have a cafe and I had it for about five years. I'm really bad with time.

Oh yeah, so am I? Yeah? I think I had it for about five yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I thought that's what I was on.

The tax department will leave you.

No, I'm more good there.

So I had I had the farmer's market first, right, because I wanted to just dip my toe into it.

And then and then.

It went really well. So we opened a cafe and I found it. It was great for three years, but I literally had to put my life on hold. It felt like I had birth like quads overnight because I and I was quite aware of this that I have no skills in managing people and training as well. It's so difficult, and because I've spent most of my life working solo as an artist, it's always about just I hand me expressing my love of a thing that I

When you say we, who was we? Also?

So me my and my two business partners, which is my ex and.

My hang on.

Which this is the other thing that people may may know about you.

Yeah, so you you were married, Yes, you were married to Matt. Right, and you were married to Matt because you seem to have these ten year cycles in your life.

Yeah, I think I do. Yeah, So Matt I was with for ten years and then when John I was twelve years Yeah.

Right, so John I was your second husband and Matt your first husband. You met while you were a mormal, Yeah, which I find extraordinary because I was raised to Jehovah's witness And you know, people always get those religions mixed up.

They do because they prosely both.

Yeah. Run so which yeah? Door knock, yeah, door knock? Yeah? Did you do that?

I did do it did a month in my home town.

Yes, you were a little bad or sister yow and you so you would knock on people's doors? And is that the Church of Latter day Saints? It is?

So you would say you knock on the door.

Hello, I'm sister, I'm from the Church of that Day Saints. Would you have a moment so that we could give you a message? Right? And if they had a moment, what would the message be, Well, we'd go in, we'd present the Book of Mormons. So much it was like just dissipated. I had a terrible memory, and which.

I think is a blessing, by the way, I think so too. Do you know what?

I used to think that I was really resilient because there's been a few things in my life that some people would consider to be quite traumatic, but I have I don't. I kind of just slip out of them pretty pretty easily. And I used to think it's because I was resilient, but I actually think.

You can't remember it. But you know, it's an interesting thing about humans because we have a capacity to remember the good things. That's why people have more than one child.

Yes, And also when you've broken up with someone, you often find yourself reminiscing just the good times.

Yes, not the that's right. Yeah, but when you talk about traumatic things, is one of them the breakup with your first husband?

Yeah, both breakups, and then like like mum's passing, you know, I was away for that.

Which was just shit. Were you overseas it was?

Yea.

What part of your life were you in when when this happened. Where were you at? I was in a really good place.

And I was in I was I was actually when she got ill. Because mom and I have always had this slightly spiky relationship.

And let me grapple with the concept of the daughter having a spine exactly exactly.

It's the same thing, isn't it. It's female female, isn't it.

Yeah.

Yeah, there's just always fe in the head. Oh my god, yes, absolutely.

Yeah. And also because you were raised as well by your auntie Kim, who you were very close to.

Yes, so there was that tension between.

Your mum and yeah little.

Bit yeah yeah, not her sister, her auntie, her aunt Yeah, so you're great auntie, yeah, my great auntie right, yeah.

Yeah.

So there's always been these little tensions and it just is the way it is. And before she passed away, she actually said to me, you know, I know, whenever there's these rifts in the house with all the women, you because her and Auntie just squabbled NonStop, and she says, you know, you need to think about the fact that she came to live with us when your brother was born, shortly after your brother was born, So she's kind of

And so she came out from Malaysia with you, Yes she did, which is an amazing uprooting. Is she devoted her life to you, yeah, and your family, yeah, your brother. Yeah. Yeah.

She never had her own life. She never dated, never had any relationships. She kind of just devoted herself to my family. And she was adopted, and so she was always kind of this outcast in the family in a way. And I think she just found something.

With us that she really loved.

She was only supposed to come and help mum look after my brother for a little while, but she ended up never leaving because she loved it so much. Yeah, being with us, and I think.

She's your mom loved that she did. I don't think she.

Knows any better because imagine having being young and having like an older woman come and help you. It would be divided, yeah, which is what it is back in the day, right, Like it's quite common for grandparents extended family.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, Yeah, And it's the other way, because you know, I was reading this thing about how to raise independent children recently and it's it's it's so hard. Now, that's why there's just so many issues with the youth, because the resources are half. So many single parents, yes, you know, and it's across all so socioeconomic.

And even if it's not single parents. I remember reading once the nuclear family is two people doing the work of the tribe. That's right. Why did I think of that when I had four children and my husband and I would sometimes look like it is it's a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you had this and particularly in Asian families. Well two. So your auntie came without that familial lineage, yes, because she was adopted. Yeah, yeah, so she was looking for her place, I think so.

I mean, she was adopted as a baby, so she's very loved by all the extended family. But there was something about our situation that I think gave her purpose and she really loved. Yeah, I think looking after my brother and myself and me.

And so when you were overseas, your mom said to you before you went away.

Yes, she said go and I checked in with her. But I wish I hadn't. I wish I had just used my intuition, and the way I had to unpack it was to understand that I'm a bit of a risk taker and I just took a really bad risk. And I think if I had my way again, I probably would have done the same thing, because it's my nature to do that. Yes, And that's how I've been able to get over it. Yes, it's just to accept that that crap decision was probably always going to be

But how important do you think?

So?

This is always a thing in grief and loss and farewelling someone who's you know, one of the only two trees in your orchard? Yeah a parents, Yeah you've still have got three trees. Would it have been more important for her for you to be there or more important for you to be there?

I think both. I think she would have loved it if I was there. But it's interesting when I do feel there is I definitely feel like people choose to go. Yes, Yeah, I go because she waited till I was in a position where I shouldn't have had any reception. I was on some weird like hell in this I don't know where I was.

I don't know where you were.

I was, I I was Where were you? I was in Austria or like sound of music ish, No, No, I wasn't in Austria. Where was I Vienna? I think I was in Vienna? Yeah, Schnitzel, Yeah yeah, And so Fay you said that, because that actually came to my mind when I was trying to figure out I was anyway, And so you know how funny it is like with certain people they would know exactly the time, the place, but I'm just I don't care anyway.

It's it's a feeling for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so I I had just gotten a text from my god sister, Mum's goddaughter and she said, hey, I think you should FaceTime your mom now, and I was like okay. So I was like okay, good luck to me and managed to talk and everyone was around her at that point, and I was like, hi, Mom, and I already made a decision. I said, hey, I'm going to come home really really soon. And I really met the next day, but I didn't want to sort of stir her up too much.

She looked really really weak.

And she said no, no, no, she goes you just stay and finish your thing. And I could feel she really meant it, and I think it's because she knew she wasn't going to be able to hang on for that long. But pretty much after she spoke to me, like hours later, she passed away, like maybe eight hours later, eight or ten hours.

Like were you on the plane then or no?

I was asleep, so I'd gone to bed, and the next day I was, yeah, I was about to come home, but I yeah, then it was just like speedy get on the first plane.

And where were you in relation to your personal relationships at that time? Single? Sproken up with Johno?

And I was just, yeah, I've been in a really good place for like years now.

Yeah yeah yeah.

Very single, Yeah, very single, A very single, very single and not dating? You're not dating and.

Now not dating? No, I don't know how, Kate, No, I don't know.

I don't know. I imagine, imagine if he.

Was single right now, how would you do it? I literally how to do it? Like I don't have any solutions. To keep asking people and they're like, you know, Raya whatever, Like no, it's.

Just but how did you meet? Like John O? So he was a.

Runner on Master Chef last season one was a member.

When you said that was two thousand and nine nine, ye, where you sprang onto our greens and obviously you'd caught his eye.

Yes, we caught each other's eyes.

And at what point did you realize that was going to be.

I think it was he had kind of sort of like thirty kind of personality, and I was like, Oh, it's all the girls.

He's doing it to all the girls.

But then I kind of realized there was definitely some kind of proper energy there. And it was interesting because it became a very traditional kind of old fashioned courtship because we're not allowed to frat nines with us with the crew, no, Hjara really onto that.

Yeah, good old day.

Yeah yeah yeah, and there ever was such a thing.

Yeah, And so it was just like sort of reduced to little cute looks across the yard. And he used to travel us back and from the house to the studio and so we'd sort of just have a little look in the rearview vision mirror that was it, and then say hi to each other, hello and goodbye. So it's very cute, yeah, very bronze sisters. Oh my god, it's so he just saw.

A glimpse of your stocking dangle.

And there is That's not all of my conversation with Poe. Coming up after the break, we talk about the first ever season of Mastershif, the very definitive decision for Poe to leave her husband, her first husband, and Poe reveals a sneaky intensity in her personality. What Don't Go Anywhere? That was a remarkable season. Yeah, it wasn't that season one, Yeah it was.

It was the thing like we all went into it just not knowing what any reality TV wasn't even really a big thing then, and so the word amongst the crew was just like this is mad, like to do a reality TV cooking show in Australia.

It's just such a weird idea.

And then as the show went on again through whispers of the because we were on proper lockdown in season for like the first few years, I think we were all on proper lockdowns, like because it was you had time ten minute two time to ten minute phone calls a week or not prison, its proper prison.

Yeah yeah, And like how long did the shooting of the series take?

Five months?

Wow?

Yeah, so it went because I went all the way to the end.

You sure did, I sure did. And then how was that for your family?

They they loved it. They had no idea, obviously, no one knew what it was going to be, but it was such a It was such an amazing experience for me, and I see it all the time now as a judge, where people who have felt disconnected to their families find connection when they come on the show because it's something for the whole family to rally behind and they just.

Find a way to.

Yeah, they just find that solidarity again, which is so nice. And I didn't. It wasn't like my family was broken up or anything. But I think my parents had always been a bit worried about me because I've lived such an unorthodox path.

Yes, and they were very orthodox in their desires for you.

No, I give them a lot of credit for that. As migrant parents, they weren't sort of like you have to be a doctor or an accountant or anything like that.

But they came to Australia because they wanted, yes for you.

Oh my god, Kate, I was such a dunce student, like I just kind of you want yeah, Yeah, I was a little daydreamer, So I was terrible academically, which is all it's about. When you're in an Asian country. There's very little sort of focus on social or sport or any kind of like social development activities. It's more just all about academia. And I just failed, so dismally.

Always in my own little world.

So they're like, Okay, I think this is going to be a but interesting food interesting, don't forget the season because we had a lot of street store So I used to love that was like a favorite thing of mine to watch all the street vendors cook.

And so yeah, I would just do that.

And so yeah, my parents, my parents, my mum, I think mainly recognize that I had a dubious academic future there. And her brothers were already living in Adelaide.

They were borders. Yep, they were borders.

They finished school, studied, you know, had really you know, went to university there, married there, so they were settled. And back then it was quite easy to sponsor a relative over. It's much harder now. So yeah, we came over to infrastructure family.

And so you were like eight or nine?

Was nine?

I turned nine on the plane. Oh yeah.

So every time it's my birthdate, it's also the anniversary of how long we've been in Estra.

And then I think this is so interesting because okay, twofold one migrant families who either have two kind of responses, because my parents were migrants as well, that either they run to Australia yep, open arms and like land of opportunity, or they enclave themselves. Yes, your parents sound like they were like, this is the land of opportunity, Land of opportunity, for sure. And you felt that even as a nine year old.

Oh my god, yes, yes, I remember. I felt like my childhood had a very dark energy to it. I felt very out of place. It's really weird, Like it's so distinct to me. It's that feeling thing again right where I just felt always like an alien, like I'd been beamed in from somewhere else, right, like that you didn't quite belong to you. No, No, I didn't understand

Oppressive.

Oppressive, yeah, And I remember just loving like the dry heat and.

Yeah, so weird.

And right away, I I like, I was fine at school, I performed really well. And did you speak English?

I did? Right, So your family spoke English? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, So that would have made it easy. Yeah, heaps easier, Yeah, heaps easy. But then often people like to focus on their difference, like when they arrived, did you have a sensation that you were not like the other ones? Yes?

I was incredibly shy, so I remember having Yeah, even though I felt at home in Australia, still had that feeling, but not in a way that felt dark. It was like it was like I don't know how to explain it, because all these kids just rallied around me and protected me. It was so beautiful, like my experience coming to Australia was beautiful. It was like textbook perfect. But I would look at them they were my friends, but I would look at them in all like I can never I

Bike and just would you have been allowed to ride a bike?

Probably not? No, not to school, no no. And I remember thinking wow, for her to have that kind of independence at her age was just mind blowing to me. And then just to see like I used to find things that were very ordinary, Like I would find a way to think I could never be that cool. Like she would open her lunch box and it was like one of those refrigerated ones ylation, and I'd be like, oh, that'd be cool enough to have a lunch box that

God, yeah yeah yeah, and a smell yeah, and it was like yeah under.

The foil and eat things with a spoon. I was like, bloody hell, I just want a sandwich. Yeah.

But at some point that became your strength. Yeah, it took me a while. Well it does take a while. But at what point did you Yeah, when were you when you started to go, oh, these things that you know to be an outlier or an observer in youth, I think stands you in good stead as an adult. Okay, sometimes so late, I would say.

When I was maybe nineteen or twenty, yeah, way past school, and I think maybe going to Canada, I had a lot to do.

Oh and what was the calling in Canada?

So I was in Utah, right, oh, China to the Mormon find a husband, no joke, thinking maybe I might find a husband.

When did you become a Mormon?

Then when I was sixteen? No, fifteen, fifteen, sixteen, yeah, around then.

What religion were your parents?

We were sort of cultural Buddhists. I say culture Buddhist, as in they didn't go to the temple. Auntie is very staunch Buddhist, so I've been raised with that around all the time. But also I find Chinese Malaysians are quite sort of superstitious, so they'll you know, have hedged their bets and have like.

A myriad of gods at their.

Yeah yees, covering their bases.

So like sure, good academic, right, you know, performance for wealth and prosperity, all that kind of stuff, But it's more for that rather and it's like a fear rather than a philosophy.

You know me, so transactional, yeah yeah, yeah, bit of that.

And so that's how I got raised. So I wouldn't say we were philosophically entrenched in like the teachings of Buddha, but we were Buddhist most And.

Then how did them how did the Mormons find you?

So we got into some financial issues because my parents had some businesses.

And we were in the doll drums and they came knocking. Oh and who answered the door Me and mum and invited the mean yeah wow yeah to clean cut, cute boys. Yeah. Why they was American because they're doing their missionary service.

Yeah, so Australias would go somewhere else as well. You don't always you can, you sometimes get called within your country, but you just it literally gets pulled out of a hat. Well through prayer and inspiration. Right, Yeah, that's the hat. Yeah, that's the hat, like the sorting hat. That's the soft hat.

And so then you went started going to the church. Yes, full on, it was full on. We commrely.

We got baptized and that was like that was us because we lost a lot of family support during that time, and so the church was this amazing social structure that we got kind of helly dropped.

Into, right, and.

People were really kind to us.

They were really kind to us. Yeah, I'll never forget that power of the church. You know when people like to say, now religion is responsible for everything bad, all the wars and whatever. I think it negates to a certain extent, the sense of community that can come from a church.

Yeah, totally, totally.

It's so weird religion.

Like the more I stand back now and I'm more relaxed about it because I'm not fighting it because I'm not in one, the more reasonable I am about it in my head, and I think with a bit of age as well, like you just everything just tends to even out a bit more and you're less volatile on your opinions. Because I feel like religion, even though I resented it coming out of it and when I was in it, because what happened was there was a cycle of I loved it.

It was amazing.

But then what happened was my brain after going to Canada and hanging out like my first bestie was trans you know.

It literally blew my world apart, like so forbidden in the church.

Yeah, Like I'd never had that kind of freedom before because I'd lived at home before I went overseas.

So to.

Be in an environment where there was just so so much gray as opposed to black and white, which is religion, right, I just it completely flipped my brain. And then I went home and then I met Matt and Matt was just this incredible, doably intelligent, articulate, little sort of rebel at church and I and we were really good friends at first because we found solace, intellectual solace.

With each other.

So we used to just sit up and like, you know, do you really reveal things? I watched David Attenborough because these are dull is that rebellion? Well not really, I'm just joking, but like, well, we don't believe in duwinn In theory, so because it's.

Of course it's like the Witnesses creation, yeah, creation, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so all that kind of stuff. Like we just explored sort of a world outside of the church. And then ultimately when we got married, we chose to say to our family, we're not getting married in the temple where we're just going to get normal guarden righting, and left the church. But yeah, we had to sort of really coach each other out of that situation because it's a lot, you know how it is, it's such a stronghold on you, but.

Also you have to get to the point where it's harder to stay, yes than it is to leave.

Absolutely, what was your breaking point and when did you leave?

I think I always knew yeah. I always knew growing up when you were talking about that sensation of not feeling like you feeling like an alien, yeah, kind of looking at people. I knew that I wasn't a good Jehovah's witness and the ironies. I used to pray to Jehovah to make me a good Jehovah's witness. Yeah, because I knew that I wasn't. Yeah, he didn't. Wow, he didn't.

He didn't ask your prayer.

No, I didn't, didn't answer my prayer, didn't.

It's the evidence right there.

Well, you would think God, not that you think of it like that.

At that time, I was like, oh okay, now I'm gonna have to leave.

Yeah. Yeah. But then so you were with Matt and then this is the bit that is that most people cannot comprehend that when you broke up with Match, he ended up with bestie Sarah. Yeah right, yeah, okay, which is a story that I know you must have. You must have to tell this all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it is extraordinary. No, no one minds it. But what we can't believe is that you don't mind it. Yeah.

Yeah, I think like the thing that like it's not as amazing as you'd think. I don't think, because we were we don't have any children, right number one, That definitely helps. Yeah, b makes things less, you know, erotic right there, the tension of that, yeah yeah. And I think also at that point we were so broken together, like we were bringing out the worst in each other.

Live was a relief for both of you.

No, Matt was I don't know what it is with guys. I felt like he was blindsided. I was so bad in the caves, yes, where men thought we were fine and we were like, have you not heard I've been desperately Yeah. Yeah, I think the male propensity to sweep things under the rug is very high like that that this threshold is quite high. So anyway, he was still

I was such a ball of rage.

Anything could set me off, right, Yeah, angry poet, Oh my god. I was like throwing chairs and smashing chairs on the ground. I was psycho. Yeah, and I was like, this is not good. No, that's not good.

That is not me. Also hard to imagine. Yeah.

People always say that there is.

You seemed and yang.

Yeah, you know, there's a very intense site to me personality. Yeah, because I think when you're creative.

There has to be I do, Yeah, I do.

There has to be an intensity because for you to you have to be self driven, your you know, your standards have to you have to create your own bars of measure. So like I think within that there has to be I don't know, people call it passion, but there is so much new neuroticism and I don't know, obsessiveness.

You know, you have to have those things and you need a launching place for your art to catapult from. Yeah.

Yeah, And I think running away from something, whether it's from within, is a great inspiration.

Well do you think, Yeah, it's all about demons and work avoidance and sometimes the work is yourself, yes, and that you can find it yeah yeah yeah yeah clean house, in the in the in the in the streets, yeah yeah, all that all that.

Yeah yeah.

After this short break, we talk about our shared love for the late great Cal Wilson. Plus I surprised Poe with a message from her Master Chift co star Julie Goodwin, don't go anywhere. So then you decided to? So yeah, I was cool with it.

Like it was. It was really fast the turnover, because I think we were already in that friendship stage, even though we didn't want to deny. So the transition was way. It sounds so much more dramatic than it really was. I was still pissed, like I'm not gonna deny that, but I knew I was gonna. I knew that for me to hold on to it, it was such a vivid it was like a picture in my brain. I was like a picture of me holding onto the garbage.

And I was like, no, let the garbage go. Let the garbage.

No, I shouldn't call Matte garbage. He's like, probably one of the most precious people.

In my life.

But those feelings are garbage.

The feelings are garbage, and what I was turning into was garbage. So I was like I would be going in reverse. So I was like, I have to find a way to accept this. And it wasn't even that hard. I was just like, oh, this is not that hard.

The once you let it go, yeah, everything kind of found an ease to it. Yeah.

I think it was just I felt like this release and everything fell into place. It was so but even the way that we broke up met what Matt was a real gentleman about it, Like he left me a lot of stuff.

He left me zed our dog.

And the funny, the thing that most people find even weirder, is that he moved across the street, okay, and Sarah lived around the corner from me, so we lived in this little triangle and we just sort of it was funny because we.

Were aware of that it was unusual. It was unusual.

And he says, is it weird if I move and across the street, And I actually said I would love it if you did, because I feel like us completely separating after living in each other's pockets is so unhealthy. I actually think it's okay, and we kind of nursed each other through the breakup.

It is interesting because often you think that he's a person in a relationship that you've loved and that's meant more to you than anyone, and then when.

You say for the relationship, they're just gone.

How can that be?

It is? I always had associated it with a level of passion. Yeah, that if you felt so passionate about the person, you couldn't be here to see them. So maybe if you didn't have that passion and you'd outgrown it, yeah, it makes it easier. But then maybe it's also just a great philosophy to have. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know what it is, but.

It was like as soon it was almost like, as sooner as I was willing to do the deed, which was get divorced, my whole body and mind, everything clicked and it was like okay, it was like really easy.

And then did everything else open up to you? Because from that point on you've been stratospheric?

Yeah?

I did that interesting.

Yeah, I had an amazing exhibition afterwards. And then Sarah was the one that said to me, hey, I think you should apply for this thing.

Wow.

Yeah, I remember it was on my little knocker.

Oh really knock the brick.

Yeah, And I was like, what is this and she goes, I don't know, it's so weird. Po I don't even really know, she said. But all I know is these words are so chilling to me still to this day, because the choice of words is so unusual. She said, I don't know really what it is, but I think you'll be great at it, and I think you're going to be there till the end.

Oh.

She didn't say you're gonna win it.

Ah.

I was there to here there.

Yeah.

And then it was the start of everything. The end was the start of it there and it's how we know you. Yeah, And the other thing I was going to say about your migrant parents is the affirmation of who you were and the acceptance and how the viewers just went, we love this woman to have for them to have their fledging little Poe, their little strange cuckoo, the cuckoo in the knees, to see her being so widely loved in this land that they had chosen, How beautiful that is.

Well, I was kind of on my way to talking about that and I got lost, because we love a chat we do. That was that it was so impactful for me. I was thirty five at that point, so like a grown woman, and it's still it did so much for me, for my fam, for me relationship with my family, because they finally went, oh, her wild and willy ways have panned out. She is going to be okay. And after that, my parents just left me alone because they've always been a little bit like what are you

Did they want a grand child? Did they put that pressure on you?

Mum mentioned it quite a bit.

Dad never.

Yeah, I think she really wanted one. But my brother had four.

So you made up for everyone, Thank you, brother, I didn't you? Yes, Yes, someone has to just just for quiet in your family. Yeah.

So like for me, I think I've all always had such a sort of creative, sort of chaotic way of approaching life. It was so affirming for me to be this in an environment where my brain type excelled because it compresses the chaos, compresses into clarity. When I'm in that sort of slightly highly charged panic situation, pressure makes diamonds. Yeah.

Would you like to know what the winner, who was there till the end with you, thought of you, Julie. Yeah, have a listen to this.

I'm so glad that I got to go through Master Chef with Poe and be at the end standing next to her. It's hard to describe, actually what a generous spirit of a human being she is. I just love her to death and I have ever since I met her. She's hilariously funny, she's quirky and unique, she's insanely creative and just a.

Gorgeous, gorgeous human being. I trust her, I love her.

She's my friend. And yeah, thank you for asking me to say a few words about her.

Cheers.

Oh my gosh, jus, but oh my god, Poe's all those things extraordinary.

She's so creative.

Sometimes I think you don't get a sense of how the world sees you, because of course you're looking at the world through the prism of your own eyes. That is how the world sees you and I also we had a very dear joint friend we do, Cal Wilson. Yeah, and you met Cal. I love the concept of people who are open to new friendships throughout their life. You know, some people go, well, this is my posse and this is You're not that person.

No, I'm always adding.

Yeah, and you met Cal in the jungle. Yeah, she was my bunkie and you became such a significant person in her life.

I don't even actually know think I knew that, which is so sad in a way, like I never dared to think that, you know, because I yeah, because of that thing where she's so established and but I adored her.

But Cow was the same. Cal was a quirky like Cal also spend a lot of her time, I think, feeling like she didn't really fit, and then when she met you, it was like you rose to meet each other. Yeah.

She was my little piece of solace in the jungle. As soon as I saw her walking and I was like, oh my god, this is going to be okay, you know, because you've done it and you're I.

Haven't done the jungle. Oh you haven't. Oh no, I haven't done I'd never do the jungle. Look, you might like to eat testicles, but you know that's not for me yet.

Okay, so when you get in there, you do you do? Yeah, you do sort of put your radar out. And like as soon as I saw her, and you're I was going to be fine, and yeah, she's I think we actually got closer outside of it in a way because you know, you miked up and all that kind of stuff.

But yeah, what a.

Divine human. And I say, I don't use the word divine. I'm not just throwing that out there. I say divine because she's literally godly in her ability to love and give like infinitely, you know. At her memorial, it was so funny because I was really I wanted to talk about how she's such a little pebbler, like, you know, she'd always give, you know, give you little gifts. And when she passed away, and she was very crafty, very crafty, I didn't realize, but at every corner of my house

Where you know, Like, but I think you have the same capacity. Okay, thank you. I think you do.

It's so kind.

I think that's what people respond to about you is there's a certain openness. And I think a lot of people as you travel through life with its slings and arrows and the pains, and as my mother says, in a classic mother way, the longer you live, the more bad things are going to happen to you. It's true, but it is true, it's true. How do you retain this openness to the world, the soft under belly.

Yeah, yeah, I'm always like that. And I think I've always been like that since I was a kid, even though I was shy. I think I've always been very I think curiosity. That is the main word that comes to my mind. I'm curious about how I can feel more, what experiences I can put myself into. I'm very greedy for because i think a lot of people think that, you know, I've landed in this position of you know, working in the media because I'm greedy for attention, but

But how are you not how does that not get replaced with fear, you know, because a lot of people are held back by the fear of failure or the fear of success. Yeah, I love.

I love new feelings, like experiencing new kinds of feelings, Like I'm so curious.

Like even when I was going through.

Grief, and I think it's the age, it hit me at a really good age. And also being on my own was great as well, to be able to process grief on my own because I was just so hyper aware of all these privileges that I had, Like, wow, I can process this without a husband and children, So I can completely immerse myself in this without having to.

Look after any worry of that.

Yeah, the luxury of that, and really deep dive into it and within it. I was still able to find so many, so much beauty in the sorrow, like I really could. And I think it's because I'm always searching for it. I'm not afraid of feeling so like, you know, fear all the whole gamut. I love it. I love because it's what it is to be human. So if you're not going to feel, what the hell are you going to do? Right?

I think? Yeah, I love you.

I love you too, and I you know, I've it's been embarrassing because because we've met properly through another dear friend of.

The other Kate, the other Kate Sebrann, and my son is going out with her daughter.

And I've actually spent some time with who's absolutely gorgeous and so your son, do you think, yeah, ah, that's interesting, Yeah, but.

But yeah it was.

I've secretly always wanted to be your friend, So that was really it was so lovely to meet you that day. And we had such a fun day, didn't we.

Oh, it was the greatest.

Yeah, it was so spontaneous.

So Poe and I kept up the jibber jabber long after we had stopped recording. And who is one of those people that you could talk to anywhere, anytime, for any amount of time. There's so much that we didn't get up to. By the way, I believe her to be much more Buddhist than she thinks she is if you listen to the tale of what she's learnt about loss and life. And we didn't get onto her love of bees, and we didn't get onto how she makes his amazing jam tarts. I mean, there's so much. Poe