Celeste Barber Got Famous For Being Real. Then It Got Complicated

You're listening to a mother Mia podcast. Mama Miya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on. I'm a lot. To be with me is a lot. This is fun.

Day in day out, I get darkness, I go high, I go low. Of all the things.

Se Les Barber is one of the most recognizable and genuinely beloved faces in the country. She's a comedian, an actor, a writer, a producer, a global touring sensation, and, depending who you ask, a feminist icon, a social media star, a mother, or simply the funny woman in big knickers

She's one hundred percent real. I know because I touched her.

This is a conversation about success, identity, the beauty and chaos of life, and the woman behind the accidental empire.

Here is Celeste Barber.

Look, we'll either have an amazing career when this comes out.

I will both be canceled and what a rist what a sweet res same?

Can someone cancel me so I can lie down time?

I'm tired it? Celeste Barber, Hi, welcome to No Filter.

It's nice to be here. We've already started, have you?

We have started, but I just thought I'll do an introduction, of course, because we will be like, who is she?

I've never seen that exactly?

Exactly is that Ricky Lee? What's going on?

You are?

No?

And then I mean I've always loved Ricky Lee. Yes, the reason she got voted out of Australian ID is because I was out of the country and you couldn't be I couldn't nineteen ten Ricky Lee. Yeah, the pipes on that girl.

She's unbelievable.

And then I'm like, face to face met her A couple of months ago I did her radio show and it was just like, oh my god, we do look the same. Photos of people were like, wow, what's going on? Yeah, the same, which I take is a huge compliment.

And how does she take it?

I ask to take every compliment. Absolutely. I'm just going to pop my pills.

Everyone else pop your pills, all right, and you know your pills are actually a conduit into a conversation about all of you.

Really.

Yeah, because little Saliste tell me about little Celeste.

Oh, little Celeste, you're more than New South Wales.

Yeah.

Yeah, I live on the border.

Yeah, you're a tween. Yeah, because I'm from Queensland.

Outrageous.

And so a big night for us was to go to the twin Town Services collapse.

Absolutely on the border. Yeah.

And I grew up in a place called Terranora, like a little little well, I.

Was kind of a little bit more in the hills, but yeah, we're right near, right close to ten minutes to the beach.

And so your mum cath your dad Neville.

Yeah, and was he a nifty nifty me, he's the ultimate nifty Neville.

Yeah.

And my sister Olivia, yeahs older sister. Yeah, just the four of us.

And I like it too now that your sister, older sister classic way kind of asserts herself now in the story of who we all know as Celese Barber, She's like I said to her, absolutely, you should do the truth about these posts.

Definitely. She's also the funniest person.

In any room myself, Like, she's so funny, and she's so brave and so loud, and like you're just in stitches when you're around her.

She's funnier than I am.

One and and so growing up you had this like You've got a beautiful family who understood you very well.

Yeah, the best they could with someone who a kid who's you know, near a divert adhd all of that and loud and you know, I'm a nineties baby, ll eighties baby, you know, grew up in the nineties and we didn't know what it was.

I was just annoying.

I was annoying and ostracized one hundred percent school. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And this is so brutal, but I think it's not an uncommon.

Experience for people who end up working.

In the creative arts in some capacity that this like what was it the force of your personality or.

Yeah, just the the force of my personality, the energy around me, the energy that I would put out, the ideas that were in.

Me that I just I didn't know what to do.

Ostracized me because as a fifteen year old, like everyone, every teenager is fighting for their lives. They are true they I have a thirteen year old son at the moment, he's fighting for his life.

It's a rough time, be neurodiverse or not.

And you know what they tend to do, I think is hence there's a uniform There's a uniformity to how you dress, there's a uniformity to like what you listen to and what you do.

What your opinions are on everything.

And if you're not in step with the youth army, then it's like your bastard eyes like in the real army, and they pick off the Week, which I think is kind of a way of stopping everyone else from looking at you.

Absolutely look at her. I mean, that's what I mean about everyone fighting for their lives. Even the people who were a part of that army, they're still freaking out.

I don't know what's going on.

And then yeah, you see a week link and you go absolutely, let's focus over there so that spotlight isn't on me.

I think that is definitely part of what happened.

It's savage.

And experience brutal, and it's un necessary. Like, I I know kids can be shit, you know, kids are brutal with each other, but the level of meanness, the level of like targeted attacks on kids who are different, is out of control. Like and I'm I'm really big advocate advocate for it now now that I'm older and my older son has ADHD and I see the struggles that he's going through as well, and.

I'm onto the school all the time. I'm like, just.

They hate they when my son started at school that of course now they're like, oh my god, I like the better when we could just follow you and you not come in and talk.

But I'm like, there has.

To be a lot, Like if there is a kid sitting alone, you have to interject. You cannot have one teacher on a school field at lunch times when all of this stuff is going down and these little ones are getting picked off.

And seeing it or not.

Especially with social media, these kids are just on their phones and the toxic masculinity that's going on that doesn't get policed in any way, and it's like, oh, well, it toughens them up. I just call absolute bullshit to that, like we have to, we have to interject earlier.

But what were you at an all girls school?

No?

A co ed school? Yea and so? And that was pre social media data?

Da?

What form did it take that?

Like?

How was it exercised against you? There?

It was very calculated. It was two girls, in particular, popular.

Girls or school.

They decided that I was ship and that no one was to talk to me.

And did it happen like overnight?

Yeah, I got off the bus, right, I remember getting to school, got.

Off the bus, went up and no one was talking to me, and as not as though you know, you've been texting or not.

We didn't have phones.

Then, we had landlines, so these girls must have put effort into call around.

I don't know what happened.

And I remember talking to a girl who was my friend who got caught up in it. She then didn't really talk to me either, but you know, because she got caught up in it, and I just remember her just going nuh it's and I remember exactly where I was and the feeling and everything just sunk when I was crying. She had just gotten off her bus and I ran down. I was like, what's going on, what's

And how did you make yourself go to school? Like what was that process for you when you would wake up in the morning son's dopamine?

Yeah.

I just think I'm a really, really resilient person. This is something I've learned about myself. And when I look back at little me, I'm like, you're really tough, mate.

You did. Like It's also the nineties we all had to go to school.

Remember those days, you know, it's like I think I have pneumonia, and my parents I was like, well, just go and see how you go, and see how you go, and if by lunch you don't feel well, go to the sick bay.

Will come and you always just had You just had to go to school. It wasn't parents had to go to work. You had to go to school. And then I found drama. I found you know, the drama room and all.

That because you were already a dancer.

Yeah, I danced, yeah, and then found drama, and I just I just went in.

I just went into me. So I got a lot smaller. I made sure, you know.

You make sure you see a lot sasel, be quiet, be invisible, and then they'll leave you alone. But a byproduct of that was I went in and went, what do I What do I like? No one else is going to hang with me, and I'm just going to hang with myself.

What do I like? So I start writing jokes.

Or I go to the drama room, or start like quoting Friends in my I love the show Friends and playing the characters.

Out in my head.

In Friends, by the way, Chandler, yeah, just smart.

Us, just the constant as amost all of that. That's me. Yeah.

Yeah, So I just I remember just kind of going inward and getting on with it. But it's interesting whenever I think about it. Things you know, we all go through in our lives, and I've had some big things happened, some tragedies and whatnot, as everyone has. But that's the one thing that sticks with me is that time of feeling so not just low and sad and ostracized, but the energy that went in to making sure I felt

Yeah, and I think it's.

Sometimes well it did it got treat like that? Well, you just got a tough en up. You got to get through it. I mean, my parents did the best they could. My parents were always like, what's going on?

How did they know? Your parents?

I would tell you be okay, they would see, so you come home come yeah, like everyone.

Yeah.

And I remember my mum asking one of the girls in a year who was still kind of talking to me. But it was hard for them as well. When you two girls tell you not to do something, you do it because then they'll if not, they'll be me on you.

Yeah.

And I remember my mum was saying to her quietly, going what did she do? Has she done something? What has she done?

Like we can yeah, I know And Louise going, No, you know this. Everyone just hates Sally alone.

You know what.

I love that there's a redemption arc for you and your beautiful life and your beautiful family and your breadth of understanding of humanity, which informs actually a lot of your work.

You know.

It's like people always say online comments, you can get a thousand compliments, but that one, you know, nasty comment is the barb that will strike home. Yeah, and so I think if you've had that formative happening, it stays with you.

It does, it stays with me, and it also is exacerbated sometimes in the way where I will look for that bad comment.

Yeah right, you go, Yeah, basically great.

It made me feel so much better about myself. I can't believe it was I knew it. I knew it.

See, that's that's them seeing the real me. It's weird, isn't it. I think, what is that need that we have? I know?

Yeah, what is that need? Why? It's It's masochistic, isn't it. It's like, why am.

I trying to hurt myself in this moment? Why can't I just take the wins? I'm working very hard and very successfully on that on celebrating the wins. I've been talking with my husband about it. Actually, I'm like, we need to lean in to the joy. We need to lean into because I just think, you know, especially with.

The world at the moment, you kind of wake up and you're.

Like, what's the fox happen now? Like, I'm sure something's happened. It's like, so when there's a little wine, take it. I'm going to take those ten I'm going to take those forty thousand good comments, and I'm going to all the five bad ones.

I remember Ellen DeGeneres. Remember her. I'm saying that, Well, she took the winds, didn't she though?

And everyone else's no, But I remember when people liked her and she was like, you have to read all the comments.

You've got to take the good and the bad. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. I don't.

I actively choose not to do that because I give enough shit to myself. I've got enough going on in here. Who I keep myself really grounded. I keep myself on the right side of things, you know, I really hold myself accountable.

I don't need strangers to.

Do that as well.

I'm like, no, I'm going to take the good I'm going to take you all telling me I'm amazing.

I'm going to eat that up.

Well, you know, one of your winds.

Was your mom, your mum, who went like who recognized your neuro divergence then that you just weren't formulated the same because this was in the nineties.

Like nobody, like everybody.

I know who's ADHD or whatever it has been diagnos in like the last five years.

Yeah, women as well women.

Yeah, and midlife a lot of midlife sort of stuff. But your mom took you to a doctor. Yeah, I didn't even know there was rittal in the nineties.

Yeah, oh there was saved my life.

My mom and what my parents were at their wits end with me as well. They didn't know what to do that we were looking to change schools, was like, we don't.

It was a lot. I was a lot.

And AHD in children and in girls in the nineties is a lot because it's just she is loud and annoying and attention seeking and can't listen, and it's it's there's nothing sexy about it.

Nothing sexy about superpower.

There's no Yeah, I envy those people who are like I find it superpower I want that type.

I hate it.

But yeah, we got to a point where my parents took me to a doctor and as soon as I walked in, he was like.

You have it. You have got my dad. My dad who was watching a fly fly around the room.

Yeah ruh.

My mom was like, help me, please, help me, help me help.

So two amazing things, your parents calling it and going I think this could take some medical intervention, and a doctor then who was onto it, and in a girl because also I think the prevailing wisdom then was that's a kind of.

A boy thing.

Yeah, just loud, hyperactive boys.

And that was a time where we had family friends who were teachers and they pulled my parents aside once and said, leave her with us for six months and we'll get it out of her.

That's what they said.

Oh yeah, oh at that point where your parents tempted.

Just six months, can we let us do it a whole year?

Wow? Yeah.

So from the from then being prescribed to ritalin. So so you're sixteen.

Changed my life.

I went home that afternoon, I sat down and we had I think it was ADHD for Dummies or like a book or something was sitting there and I sat down and I picked it up and I read a paragraph and my parents burst into tears, and I was like, what's wrong with you? And You've never ever done that, You've never done that, You've never read.

Oh.

I was quintessential.

Set all up a little study area in my room, had a photo Janet Jackson, their caster of friends.

There, Chandler, Chandler.

Yeah.

And then I had my timetable of how I was going to study that night. I'm going to do maths for twenty minutes, all stuck. I got all the cute pens and then went off. I just couldn't do it. I had no idea how to do it. Yeah, and then had written and everything changed.

And so okay, here's the when things change. Did everything else then change? Did school change your relationship?

School changed absolutely?

I will say pre diagnosis, and this is, I guess one of the symptoms. I was obsessed with dancing, and I was obsessed with Janet Jackson, and I had been to her concert, and I learnt her concert and I would perform it. So that's the hyper focus of ADHD, where I would if I loved it, if I had an emotional response to it, I could do it forever and do it better than anyone. That's a superpower of ADHD. So I had that. I think when you're asking before about how did I get up and go to school?

Don't sit around and faff around.

And also so that you're not reliant just on one world, so the school world, yeah, so that you've got other places where if you're an outcast here or something happens or you get canceled or whatever, you had these other places the pocket plug.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I remember, like with dancing, for example, I'd say to my mom, I just want to go to a different school where Julie goes to my friends from dancing, and Mum was like, no, you're going to stay here.

You're going to stay here.

And I think that was the best thing she did, because when school was shit.

Like we were just saying I had those.

I had that world to go to and if we combined it all, if it's all shit, then it's all ship. Yeah yeah, And I do that with my son. He's like, oh, I want to go to school. I want to go where my footymates are. I'm like, but you have footy, you have different pockets because when one goes to crap.

Yeah, you've got that. Yeah, I think that's really passport.

You need a few personalities, different ways to let in.

But then you're obviously very talented because then after high school you went to study drama.

Yeah. Yeah, right, I think they were congratulations and we graduated and I got on the first plane out of there.

And did you have to audition to get in? And what was your audition?

I did, Lady Macbeth, Oh did you hands near being outdamn spot? Oh really I know, I mean maybe.

A good Lady Macbeth, Thank you.

I talk about resilient. This is what I mean when I'm like, as someone who doesn't have any confidence, it was always told by you know, external that you crap in you all this. I was like, I know what I'm doing. I cannot believe it's seventeen. I decided to get up and you outdamn spot the Lady Macbeth monologue for my audition.

Like the monologue in the world of Theater.

Absolutely, it's like it's so.

I don't think Dame Judy Dench thinks she's quite nailed it yet, and I'm like, ah, go everyone sit down in this freezing studio in.

Pe in the middle of the day.

I remember just standing up in bike pants and going and just like getting into it. And then and the Terry that was our head of acting when I got accepted, and he goes, We just knew if someone has that confidence to get up and try that there's something to play with.

The idea was that? Was it Terry's idea?

No, it was my idea?

Is your idea?

I remember we studied Macbeth at school and I loved it. I was really really into it, really into it, and I just thought, yeah, I'll do that.

That's not all of my conversation with the list coming up after the break, we talk about her landing the role of her dreams and how a friend's heavy handed, kind of brutal advice helped her find her niche in comedy. Obviously, you were extremely talented, so because and there's no point in arguing. I don't even think you bother actually take that, this is what you're doing in your therapy.

No, I'm trying to just take I'm trying to take that.

Yes, obviously for you were, but obviously you were because you auditioned, you laid him a beet your way into drama school. And then this is almost like a casual aside when I've heard you mention this before. Then you got a role on All Saints. Yeah, now that is an incredible achievement.

Absolutely absolutely, I completely agree.

I loved that show.

That I felt like I had when I got that job, I went, I have just won a fool got I've won an Emmy, a Tone, a Grammy in oscar I I couldn't believe. And the people on that show, it's and that some of them are still my like they're my family. I love that show so much. I loved

Die on it. I loved it being a patient instead.

We're all my funeral on the show.

I loved it.

It was that was when TV was so good because it's different actors through each week, actors, actual actors coming through and you get to work with all that.

I loved it so much. Couldn't believe it was my first job. Couldn't believe.

Amazing, amazing.

And also from your cohort, I imagine, were you one of the first ones who got regular giggle?

Yeah?

Took a bit.

Well, you know, in hindsight, it's like it only took you four years, when.

You're like, I've been doing this decades. Yeah. Yeah.

For some actors, the mass, the realities that it may never happen.

The most actors, especially now, the most actors, it doesn't happen there. I know most of my actor friends who aren't working are better actors than I will ever be, or anyone.

Will see it. Just it's just a shitty, shitty industry.

And so, and you made one of your dearest friends on the show. Yeah yeah.

And a girlfriend of mine was a producer on that show from Marianne Carroll.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and she loved you.

She was like that was a great there was just something special about you.

I know, you're wrong, it's not that great.

He's not very confident that great. And then you then we lost him.

Yeah, you lost him and you lost him to his depression. Yeah that was that was And where was that in the in the trajectory of the show the show, It was.

Toward the end. I believe that's why the show ended. I think when Mark died, the show went with it. They tried to then pivot. Yeah, and they for a couple of years they did her quite kind of successfully. But the heart, it just wasn't the same. We were absolutely devas suddenly killed us. Like it was just oh, it was horrible.

Yeah.

He was such a heart, the heart soul, the smart ass.

And a very dear to you.

Yeah, in the way that he had seen and saw something in you, something about the self effacing nature of you.

Yeah.

I still believe he's the reason I'm successful one because of what he said to me.

We were.

He used to come to my place, we were worth living in Balmain in Sydney, and we just write sketches together and we just film them, like hold a little cam quarter up and he'd say his part and then and we just kill ourselves laughing.

We always joke we don't need an audience.

We are good.

We're just laughing.

And I remember we were sitting on set once, you know, long days sitting on set doing nothing, and we're writing.

You know, that's interesting because a lot of actors go mad on seat. That's why a lot of like mega Hollywood types are a little bit unhinged. I think because of the enormous yeah waiting absolutely.

You know.

Heath Franklin, the comedian, he always I worked with him, and he's.

Brilliant, brilliant.

Yeah, a lot of people would know him as Chopper as Chopper. Yeah, God, he's brilliant. One of the funniest, smartest minds I've ever worked with. He says about TV, he says, you pay me to sit around the acting I do for free.

Yeah yeah, yes, yes, waiting around. Yeah, but you were feeling your waiting around. Yeah, But that's creativity.

And that was thanks to Mark as he was like, he couldn't sit still. It was awesome.

That energy is so great to have around and but he was great at channeling it and I you know, we were just channeling it and we were writing sketches and scenes and stuff.

And I said, oh, maybe this light.

And then oh no, no doorry and he went what I went o, No, no, don't worry, and then he just he pulled the paper out of my hand. He went, stop it. And I was like, I was my twenties. What he goes that is very boring to me.

And I was like, what do you mean? He goes, you not knowing how fucking funny you are is very boring to me.

It's not fun, it's not He goes, No, one's gonna can't be like, come on, you just have to stop it. It's like and he said to me, you are the funniest person I've ever known in life.

Also in your work.

That's just boring, so just don't And I stopped right there, and then I stopped. I remember leaning into the comedy more on All Saints and my role getting bigger and me really going and I'm going to find my niche here.

I'm good at this because I always found funny easy.

Yes, But with acting, I thought, no, you need to emost, you need to lead him, makebirth your with your role, or you're not Actually you're not earning you know your craft because I thought, funny, it was easy, and he's like, that's not easy, but you not knowing it is boring, and I went, yeah, fair enough gift and it changed.

It absolutely changed for me.

It's interesting the friends in life who love you enough to have that conversation with you. Absolutely this is not working. People that really love you.

Yeah, he loved me and I loved him where he was one of my dearest friends. And also I was such a fan of his. Mark Priestley is one of the greatest actors we've ever had, and beautiful gods, so handsome, those eyes.

He's such a good actor.

We're all just.

Kind of watch him. He you know, he was so great. For him to say that to me, it's like, oh my god.

So at this point, have you met hot husband?

Yes, okay, I'm trying to track in my head.

Yeah, you must have.

Mate, Yes, yes, yeah, I meet him when I was twenty one.

Yeah, right, yeah, and this I also find extraordinary.

At twenty one when you met Arpi, he had two little girls, a two.

Year old and a four year old.

Four years yeah, and so was that not a wrong way turnback signed to you?

Oh? I didn't care. I loved him.

I was twenty one and he walked into that bar and I went, I'm done, lock it down.

Wow, And and he was the same.

Yeah, well I guess maybe he's done to Actually, who knows.

Twenty two years later, Yeah, you know, did twenty one. Everything's romantic. I've got daughters.

I was like, yeah, oh my god, beautiful.

That's so beautiful. But the reality of sp but yeah at twenty one, at twenty one, with big.

Hopes and big dreams. But my heart just exploded when I saw him, and I went, I can make it all work. I'll just make all of it work.

It'll be fine. It's a lot. It's a lot anyone.

But also you're, like you said, big dreams and whatever, so you're also running your own race and trying to forge a creative life.

Yeah.

I think because I was on All Saints though, and in my mind it was going to be on forever.

Yeah, I'm just saying, I'm darnkah show.

It was all very like a job. It was lovely, yeah, because you had those stability.

Yeah, I don't need to be creating work or do all looking for work or trying to find it.

You know.

It was my first job and so you think it's going to last forever. I remember when I got to All Saints, Chris Gabardi, the actor, he was on a lovely Chris.

I must have had that in my eyes.

Like, guys, this is a family now forever, this is what we do forever. And I got there and Chris was like, yeah, it's really and he'd been on the show for years and he's like, great to have you on. I was like, I'm so excited. He goes, yeah, save you money, he said to me. I was like, save you money, Yeah, save you money.

You Yeah. Always been good at doing yeah, always always been.

And what was he's doing at that time? Was he he's an arst? Yeah, so tree surgeon.

Yeah, tree surgeon and yes, very much, very nature man and also living on the mid North Coast six hours away in Scott's Head. So I was in Sydney, he was, and you were long distance, long distance for eighteen months.

Yeah.

And then the situation changed with his girls, right, yeah, and he came down to me and we moved in together.

Oh, and then he had to go back.

Up yeah, right, and then you went back up with him.

And then I went back up for a while and then went on. No, yeah, right, absolutely not. And then came back to Sydney. We went back to Sydney and then when I'm going to go to America and up and night took time off.

Oh so was this after all Saints had Finnish yesh.

And I was like, I need to make things happen. I want to be working, I want to be doing things. I want to try have a go in America. You and I had done and you don't understand my wants and my needs.

I was letting.

Macbeth, God, damn it, now, don't dare you? And then he had.

The girls, and you know, it was worlds were kind of going like that, and I said, I'm going.

To go to America. He went fine. I went to America and went, ah, I'm pregnant. Oh yeah, yeah, best thing. Oh And then came back.

So this is with your eldest Lulu. Yeah, holy Molly. How far into America did you find out you were pregnant at the end of it?

And where were you in La driving down to Malibu with my friend and her convertible and I was like, oh, my goodness, my period in a while. And she was like, you're pregnant. I was like, how dare you I have.

Company, and then came back and went, oh, wow, I'm bad. I'm actually I about.

It when I got back. Oh, holy Molly, And how old were you then?

So I was twenty nine when not overly young. But in the scheme of week, I think.

That's a geriatric pregnancy.

Probably they call everything over sixteen pregnant just because they liked big women are. Yeah, and so RPI was the father. Yes, well they never know, do they?

Well, well, my son, I was like, and when you.

Look at the boys told so they.

Dad, it's unbel especially Lou, our oldest.

It's yeah, right, it's great.

And we named Lou after Arpy Arpi was his Lou was Arpi's nickname with his family. It still is because when he was little he lived in Papua New Guinea for a while and he used to walk around a little nappy eighteen months old singing to Sir with Love.

Oh.

That was his favorite because his dad always played it. And the singer of that song is called Lulu.

So Lulu.

Even now when we get invited to like weddings, it'll be Celestia Lou.

Yeah, what what sort of name is Arpi? By the way, it's mari name.

Yeah.

Oh and he fell in love with a Pakia Yeah exactly.

Yeah, I love I would move to New Zealand like that. I want to relocate over there.

Really, are you on the run from something so less by?

They're all following me?

Well, speaking of following, Oh yeah, okay, so the next that was your first rocketd but is it? But so then you had this lulls. So you had baby. I imagine just like such a shift even you know, you'd had the you'd had the girls.

Yeah, that's very different, very different, very different.

And then had lou on the mid North Coast and then yeah, no, work, had a new baby. I was teaching acting and dancing at the local public school for five dollars, just to do something like I have to in me, I can't just sit. And then we moved to the Central Coast and I had my second boy buddy, and then Instagram came about and I was like.

Yes, this could be something, this could be amazing. Early you were early on.

Do you think that was because of the isolation or are you generinely a person that's like drawn to something new.

I think both.

I think not necessarily drawn to something new. I mean, I like shiny things, but I needed to do I wanted to do something. And I saw this new app and I was like, what, wow, this is a and it was just it was a three pronged attack for me. It was a this is bullshit that's been put out right, and it was all such perfection, absolutely like perfection actually being sold as ever like you know with glossy magazines.

I just thought it was.

I was going to say, you've got maybe who did it?

We were sending them?

Was I was sending to Olivia, my sister, each other, and yes, what it looks like. I just write a challenge accepted. She's like, you know, just kind of answering, and I was like, I'm going to do some but I remember doing it and going, this is going to be good. I think people want to say this. I think people.

And also it's funny.

Yeah, I know funny. I know what's funny.

So that was your first what was your first one?

First one was a yoga pose off a website.

Then they then put it on Insta.

I later learned that the website was run by one of the girls who bullied me at school. I know, Yeah, I don't fuck around.

Ye when the woods come to.

Dunsane, Yeah, yeah, and I did it. I remember the caption was I'm starting something. That's all I wrote. And then stage less challenge accepted and then yeah, that was kind of just The first one was just a silly yoga pos and I had Buddy who was then in a little walky in the background, kind of showing what it's like to be at home trying to do yoga.

Yeah, yeah, very simple.

Also, you know what I love when the threads of a story come together. Everyone loves a redemption arc, which you're at the start of you don't even know at that point, but also that all the things that you've done until that point, have are going to stand you in such good stead.

You are a magnificent mover. Yeah, isn't that.

Everything's in my body?

Absolutely, that's just start here.

It's really interesting in your parodying of these perfect posts or whatever, and that you are actually a brilliant mover.

Oh thanks, that's what I find funny physical comedy. I love slapstick. I love so to be able to do that and morph my body in those ways, I think that's part of the reason it works.

Yeah. But what I'm saying is it looks clumsy. Yeah, it looks clumsy.

But I think my theory is I think it takes a coordinated person to be to look clumsy. Yeah right, because I'm coordinated and I know what I'm doing that I can, you know, sell.

It as clumsy.

Yes, yeah, whereas there's actually a great there's a great physical expertise to it.

Oh thanks, don't you think?

Yeah, it's not That's what I'm saying. Thanks. Yeah.

Absolutely, Like I said, I know, I know what I'm doing. I know how to take something, flip it and make it funnier, make it, give it a different lens. And I know my physicality absolutely helped and we're not with my stand up.

I went around that stage like an idiot, and sure I try, yeah always sure, Well, because tom Ford said I need to play to my legs.

Yeah, you got great leads.

So I always legs and lashes in between the big old mess. But I got great fucking legs and great lashes.

And so tom Ford.

The friendship came as a result of the parodies. Yeah, and how when did they really start to gather momentum when you really went, oh this is there's been ignition.

I did a post. It wasn't long after I had started.

I did a.

Post of Kim Kardashian if you heard of her? Oh was that on the dirt pile? Is she Yeah, she's a lawyer and an actor, that's an activist, and I'm pretty sure she invented feminism. Yeah, yeah, she did it a photo They do a pile, and I did it. I did a period of it, and then I think the ever credible Daily Mail got ahold of it and sent it out and I woke up to fifty thousand followers in twenty fifteen.

Which is a lot a losh.

Yeah, then you got the affirmation of I mean you already had it from yourself.

Oh.

But then I got so so I was like, oh my god. Remember we had friends over at the time, and I was like, everyone just popped fine seven photos I was doing and I just would back because I also,

I would post two three.

Times a day because out absolutely and it's always been the goal is to work. I've always just want I've just always wanted to work. And I thought this, and I remember sending it to people who had like followings, like friends of mine, carry it dire one of my oldest mates. I was like, can you share this, I think this is kind of funny. Can you give me a shout out? Like just knowing, I wanted to just push it out. I wanted people to see.

It like I was because I knew.

I knew it was making women laugh and not hate themselves as much fighting against everything that is pushed on us. And I also knew it was funny and I wanted producers and directors to see it.

A girlfriend of mine said to me.

Years ago, Actually, she said, I hate Instagram. It makes me feel bad about my life, and I love my life. And so what you did was kind of reclaim. It was kind of Emperor's new clothes in a way, wasn't it. Because it was like when you've just fed a diet of something, you kind of think that's that's just the only meal that's available. And something about what you did reset things for women.

And made us.

Go, oh, actually, that's ridiculous, absolutely, And that's the you know, people have different opinions on the posts that I do or whatever, but the first thing that people do.

And what I want is for them to laugh, and then they can go she looks shit, whatever, she doesn't look bad enough. She looks to Yeah, She's the best thing I've seen in my life. But the first thing is love to be like yeah, and that's because, like I said before about magazines, you can put them down. But when it's three in the morning and you're trying to breastfeed a baby that will not breastfeed, and you're on your phone and you're scrolling seeing all of this steak.

It seeps again.

Social media seeps in through our pores and we'lining it absolutely, and I wanted to cut that off. I wanted to there to be.

A little break in that to try to make us not hate it.

Okay, But so here's the thing, Because you obviously consume a lot of it because you're, you know, looking for.

The next or the thing that resonates with you. How do you keep your own channel clear.

So that you don't become consumed by the very thing that you know that you're recognizing on behalf of others?

Well, I delete the app.

Oh, I take it off my phone for a few days o, because I'm a victim at course. Actually now it never used to be. No, but it's more, isn't it? What is this beast?

Now?

Like I still post on Instagram the same way I did ten years ago. Yeah, it's it's not how. I have contacts in Instagram and they're like, Hi, can you try doing this? Or I'll go in and have meetings with them. They're like, these are your stats and if you wanted to maybe try doing this, you can. Then they always turn to me and go, well, just keep doing what you're doing because you have the highest engagement of anyone. And that's great because I just keep doing

I looked at it. I was like, well, I'm not getting that acting job.

I'm not getting that comparisons in Paris. It's so brutal. It is such a brutal device. Like I said, that seeps in and the only way I can do it is to delete it. I have to take it off. I'm actually I just got an assistant and I'm starting to schedule where I go. You'll go on I'll go on Instagram for an hour and I'll look for things. Then I'll get my assistant to pull them, and then the next day I'll shoot them and then we'll schedule posting.

Yeah.

I even get my kids to say if I'm because I work on my phone, to ask me, mom.

Are you working? I feel like, yes, you're not.

Put my phone down. It's so addicted. Yeah, it's well, it's designed to be. But you're right, something's happened in the last couple of years where it really is.

It is a beast.

It's all consuming when you've done that.

So at this point you're underway. You've really got challenge accepted, momentum. Fuck, they're funny, justa just Emrata. You could just have devoted yourself.

I well, I was. I was, and then she blocked me.

Well, I know so because the thing that I've loved is like with Cindy Crawford and you know, Chris Jenna or whatever, those who were smart enough to go this is actually, yeah, funny, and I'm going to go along with it because this is great for everybody.

But Mrata is not that.

No, she doesn't like it.

Did you have any communication we know her never? No, not from her people. No, no, not at all.

She talks about it.

She has spoken about it, not to me, but podcast I guess like I am now.

But no, there's been no communication it is. It's not a shock.

To me that she's not led by humor.

Yes, a bikini model doesn't like being made fun of by a middle aged woman, it's not it's not like breaking news.

Consumers come out and humor. I think we're a particular woman who was used to walking down the street and the sea's parting for her.

All of a.

Sudden, someone goes, that's crazy that you're lying naked on the floor hugging your dog, and no one's I would try. It's not lost to me that she's like, No, I don't like it, so I stopped doing it.

I'm not a monster, No, I'm not a bully.

No, I make fun of an industry that makes women hate themselves. It takes billions of dollars of us eating ourselves. She doesn't like it, so I don't do it, which makes me sad. Make she's the greatest, great she puts out, but also fair.

I know that you're not allowed to.

Usual friends as well, and some of them are like's not she hum well, so this is interesting. I haven't banging ass somnum.

But so the tom Ford thing that was an astounding thing, because fashion generally.

Is not known for its humor.

No, they're very po faced and they kind of to me it seems like they come from intimidation and elitism.

Hungry, hungry, sham shaming, Yeah, hungry but grateful those models just.

Whatever y Yeah, And he tapped into that. He knew that.

That's what we spoke about. And then how did he contact you?

I got an email from his right hand woman and the subject was Tom Ford loves Celeste Barber. I was sitting in a car park at Woolworth's at the entrance on the central host.

Of course you were, and I.

Just bought all of the you know, the red red spot discounted sales, chicken and a biscuit in the back of the car and I was like, what them what And it said I've printed the email habit from Yeah, of course said he loves you, he wants he would love to work with you if if that would ever be a possib ability. He thinks you're hilarious. And you

It got postponed.

So I was over there anyway, and I met with him in his office and it was just he got down on his knees and crawled across the floor to me and was like, oh my god, oh.

My god, You're a queen. And I was like, get up, and he was like no. I bowed down.

He was like, seriously, you're in a ten thousand old suit. Get up, and it's just become a very lovely Oh it was. It was apart from me, it's too much. It's just the greatest creative experience of my money.

You walked Fashion Week twenty well nineteen.

Then he flew me out and we collaborated. We did some Insta posts together, some parodies. He had a whole little studio set up at the back where he was doing Fashion Week.

And then I walked. I didn't walk in the show.

I did the rehearsal at the beginning, and then I sat front row next to Russell Westbrook and Cardi B and Tom Hanks and Oh my God and Anna Winter, like stop.

It was too much.

Watch the show by the world, Tom Hanks, Hang, it gets better. Can I tell you another story about this?

Please?

And then at the end of the show, the end of.

The catwalk, the doors opened up and the after party was out the back, and as the doors opened up, the video that we had just shot was on a massive screen that dropped down and everyone I'd see it so before that. I'm sitting there and I think people Cardi b particular, like who's this bitch? People are getting shuffled down for me to see. And I was the one that ran in late because I just was filming with Tom Ford and I have a chance to get here in time. So I run in and sit down

Just no chill at all, like stood up.

I remember Elizabeth Debicki came up to me and she was like, Elizabeth, oh my god, like it.

Was so nice.

And then we went to that party and then there was like a little secret room where only fancy fancies it's like half the size of this studio went into and it was Tom Hanks and Tom Ford and Anna Wintour and I got brought in and Tom Ford didn't know I was there, and how he was talking about me to Tom Hanks.

Now I'm gonna cry.

It's like she's an absolute genius. Like she has a comedy brain like I haven't seen, Like she's so hilarious.

And I was like, hello, why did you interrupt that conflict?

I know, well I tried it because it's a small room. And I think I was like around.

The back, like how was how was Anna wind Tour?

I didn't really talk to her.

She kind of weary.

No, I love Anna Winter.

She looks busy.

She kind of sha and she I think she gave me a smile. Maybe she didn't, but let's pretend she did. But no, we didn't have any interaction. I don't think she hangs around. What she didn't hang around for that.

She left.

But then I was talking with Tom Hanks after and we were talking about having what the best way to have a cup of tea? We were talking about Yeah, it was lovely. He was going home to have a martini. I said, I'm going to go home.

I was going home to have a martini at home.

Yeah, back time, And I said, I'm going to go have a cup of teen. He went, oh, a cup of tea, and I said, yeah. We talked about the best way to have a cup of tea. Milk for honey, Milk and honey.

Yeah, milk and honey.

Yeah.

After this short breather, we talk about how a list and hot husband APPI made their marriage work through the highs and the lows don't go anywhere.

So you have now navigated I think, just such a change inter rain in your life, like many times.

Yeah, yeah, that's the way of looking at it.

RPI is always your sherpa. Yeah, he's my king. Yeah, yeah, he's my guy. And so how what's changed in that?

Like, so you've gone from rags to riches and from you know, the isolation to the whole world. Like, what's changed or what's been the constant with you guys?

The constant for us, and I know this sounds cliche or annoying, is love. We have such a desperate life for each other up and eye. Even when we tried to break up the eleveny billion times that you try to break up over a twenty two year relationship, we just we cannot like he I love him on a cellular level and I've never known anything like that, and it terrifies me and it infuriates me.

Sometimes. I'm like, let me be fright. You know, I'm a runner, you know, the fight or flight.

I'm out and if something gets tricky, especially not coming.

Into perimenopause, that's fine. And he is just isn't it though? But I said out warning shots as well, like just see you know the JITs and he's like, oh great.

But I think as well, we are growing together, like that is something that I've noticed that we can't it can't just lock it off. And I think, you know, he's fifty two. I think he may have thought that you can just lock it off. I think a lot of men do that. They're like, great, well.

We've done yes, we've got the marriage.

And we've got the thing, and she's doing the stuff that she wants to do, and.

I'm pretty happy.

We're doing good. How good is that?

And I'm like, I need a little bit more so learning that about.

How do each other?

How do you I'm asking this from self interest, by the way, how do you get a partner who's got that that those beautiful like his strength is also his weakness?

Sometimes like even.

Absolutely that stability, that groundedness, that whatever.

But there's also a rock don't move I.

Have for well, this is obviously just for Arpi and I. But one thing that I'm really trying to do with him more and more is empower him more.

I want him to know that. No, and he does know that, but I work on that. That's something you know.

I'm in therapy, we're in couples therapy. That I want it. I want him to know how valued he is. That I could do this on my own. I have no interest in doing it on my own. I don't want to have the big house on the tallest hill and live on it alone.

I want it to be with him and how important.

It is that he feels valued and nourished and loved and.

The king that he is. I'm a lot to be with me is a lot. This is fun. You know I'll leave soon and you're like, oh, that was fun. Day in day out.

I get darkness, I go high, I go lower, have all the things.

And why does he love you? Oh?

I don't know. You'd have to ask him.

No, you must know.

I think he really sees me. I do I think.

He he sees you know this little girl who's going to have a little cry now, or this little I think he loves my vulnerabilities. It's all of that quiet stuff about me that only he kind of gets, and a handful of obviously you know my friends and my gaze, they get that, but he's the one that just gets me. And I think that's what he loves about me. He also, I think loves that I go, come on, we've got

What a fucking life.

But also are we going to be doing?

I could be the regional manager for Witchy at Pacific Fair.

I'd love it. I love that job.

But he don't love it too.

Actually, he would love it, but that's not who I am. But I really lean into what he wants to do as well, and that can be tricky with men. I find that it's like, well, what do you want to do? And he's like, okay, yeah, we need to figure that out. Honey, were sitting on the couch all day. Not that he sits on the couch every day, but just locking it off that is not That is not joyful for me, and it's not joyful for you.

I know that.

So yeah, I try and champion him as much as I can.

When you who started therapy first, you started me first?

How long ago did you start on? And off? For years?

I came off Ritland for a while after Mark died and went on andy depressants, and I mean I overlapped those and that was bad. So I went off written because also I was told when I was diagnosed with ADHD, you grow out of it, you don't have it.

As an adult.

Yeah, adult ADHD is different.

Yeah, isn't that the doctor not that good?

No, actually he was fine, he was lovely.

It was later on that I think when I saw a psychologist later that were like, well, you probably come off Ritlan because it's not really a thing in adults.

I was like, of it, like the how lovely here and not the case.

So I went on andy depressants for a bit and started seeing a psychologist, and and then.

I was on anti depressants for a.

Really long time, and I kind of had forgotten why, I mean Mark, And then I had other friends who died, which is very annoying. So I came off those and went back on to Ritland. And so I've been doing therapy on and but like anything with my brain, I'll do therapy every week for six weeks and I and it'll be great, and then I'm like, I don't want to talk anymore.

What I do on a Tuesday?

Yeah, exactly.

And then when you said to RP, let's go together, let's do this together.

He jumped it.

He's fantastic and he goes to therapy on his own all the time.

More than imagine those sessions.

Well, the amount of times, the amount of times I've gone in.

I wanted to talk to his therapy and do you talk about me?

Because I don't know what the etiquette is because I have a list of ship that I want him to talk about in therapy, but he doesn't take your No, it doesn't take my list. It's interesting though, I think in many ways they're more forgiving than we are. I think more forgiving of you know, the imperfections that so consume us. Yeah, sometimes they don't even see them.

No, because sometimes are not as smart as us. Either I don't think.

Yeah, I think that, you know. I mean, I've spoken with that many women. They're like, he doesn't do this.

I'm so annoyed.

Our relationships bad. We haven't spoken for we haven't had sex in months. It's terrible.

Then I speak to the husband, it's like we're tracking really well. It's great.

She doesn't annoy me. I don't need to going really well.

Yeah, I know so many women who have left men and the men are.

Yeah, I had no idea, and everyone's like, oh, we saw that coming miles away.

Yeah.

Yeah, you have had every experience that I think it's possible to have in the in the public eye, other than attending your own funeral.

Because you know what I mean.

You've been You've been praised, celebrated, criticized, you've been too big, you're too hot to be comedic anymore. You're like everything, and sometimes it's all in the same week.

Yeah, So how do you manage that rollercoaster?

I think I probably just write it. I think I just go through it. I take it for what it is and move on. I've learnt that you can't please everyone, so.

I ignore a lot of it.

When it comes to how I look, I understand why people would say something because of the nature of what I do. Sure, so I'm you know, I'm not an idiot in that sense, But at the same time, I don't. It's not all I do. It's like putting my body out there is not all I do. Sure, maybe that's how people knew me early on, But since then, I've really earned my keys.

I really have.

Like the second I got success through Instagram, I booked a show to get on stage. I've always wanted to get offline always and earn my keep. I think being in this industry talking before about acting, everyone is an entertainer now, and I don't subscribe to that. I want to earn my keep. I want to earn people's time. I want to earn people's money. I want to not just be like, Ah, I'm that girl that you follow and I can do whatever I want and you'll love it.

I want to earn what I do.

So I think i've kind of I'd like to think I've proved myself in that sense, but when it comes to how I look, people always want to talk to me about it, and I always think you're not talking to Gghidid about how she looks or Belahadid or Kendle Jenna or name all the model right, because that's just what's expected. That's expected how women look. That's a normal way for women to look. That's what we are taught.

Well, that is how brave I am.

That's brave.

You get your body out there, how brave and look.

Sometimes I will do a post and look at it and be like, you got to buy what you're selling here, mate. Body positivity just put it out and just gonna make people for good. Do it? You know, can be a bit of a tough pill to swallow.

But I you always hear about Lizo.

People talk to Lizo about her body, or you talk to Ashley Graham about her body.

To me about our body. We don't talk to.

Models or people who look the way that women are supposed to look about their bodies.

So I always have.

A little bit of a thing about it going on. It's not as though that's all I do. I do a plethora of other things.

And the body positivity thing is so interesting anyway, because Lizo, for example, who was just so refreshing, so great.

I'm so refreshing.

And I remember, you know, going to see a show in Melbourne just before lockdown and it was just the most joyous thing. And in fact, she inspired me to turn up at my one of my children's birthday party in a green bikini, which.

Was a great birthday party.

Yeah, I know, no, until I saw the fighter, I don't look at the just it wasn't but whatever.

I just loved her.

But then now that o zimpics come along, what's happened to body positivity?

Well, body negativity?

Yeah, and it's kind of like I I feel like, and this is just a superficial reading of it, that we were all like body positivity and however we're packaged is beautiful and you know, this is us. And then as soon as those people who kind of were like our leaders into that uncharted territory, as soon as o Zempic came along, they were like, but great, So yeah.

I think it happened before Ozempic came along. I think the body positivity movement was like pushing up a hill with a sharp stick.

Sure, we can probably name.

Let's say there's ten thousand women in the entertainment industry. Sixteen of us were celebrated for body positivity. It was a hard thing to push. It was seen as a fad. It was a hashtag like me too. They were like, great, now Harvey Weinstein's gone, please.

Be client women it's annoying.

Or yeah, great, we've got Lizzo, We've got actually Gray and that Celeste lady, she's also and now we've got Melissa McCarthy, she's leads of films. That's enough, girl, stop go away. It really feels like a fad. And then no Zemp it came along and I think everyone was like, oh, okay, cool, Well, I don't want to be one of those people that have to be loud about.

Being pushing my body out there. It's just easier.

If you fought, you will work more. If you are thinner, you will work more in the industry. If you are thinner, you just fucking will, even if you're funny, devastating.

Yeah, well see that's a tricky one.

Yeah, but these roles aren't really written unless they're writing them, unless we're riding the mousetell. Yes, yeah, yeah, but there's still a quota for that. There's a quota for We've got enough funny ladies. We've done We've done that quote and now let's get back into the rom coms and the Sydney Sweeneys and the Kristen Bells and the gorgeous young thing gorgeous girls. So I just think it was

Yeah, people who are.

Already size four now are size zero.

What the fuck?

It's so dangerous.

It's so dangerous.

But not only that, it's kind of a it's like what fashion does, do you know what I mean? They're always shifting the parameters, so nothing that you do will ever be good enough.

No.

So it's like you've got I've got thick eyebrows. I've always had thick eyebrows. Thin eyebrows are absolutely you've got no ass. Guess what big asses are going to be in absolute actual body types and shapes in and out of fashion trends.

They're absolute trends, but just that idea of small little women because they've got to be up against the Hollywood men who are Tom Cruise and the little guys.

Little guy.

Yeah, it really is seen as a fad, which is really upsetting because people.

Get sick of it.

Yeah, any fashion, bang on about it, any fashion people want to move on from. Yeah, Celeste Barber, you're just adorable of you. Kate, it's adorable.

Thanks selling, I see you. She took us for your tour. Wow.

Celeste has become many things to a lot of us. She's kind of a mirror. She's kind of a truth mirror, and she's also a guiding light in terms of finding your own pathway and emerging from sometimes what feels like the rubble of your own life so that you can plant a flag and claim your life for what you want it to be. She shows us the absurdity, the beauty, the mess of what it means to live in a body, in a family, and she does all of that in

Just like the rest of us.

If you love this conversation, please share it and have a scroll through the No Filter archive, where you will find more conversations like this one with brilliant, complicated, deeply human people. The executive producer of No Filter is Naima Brown and the senior producer is Breplayer. A production is by Jacob Brown and I am your host, Kate lang Brook. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

We love you.