No Crying In Baseball - podcast cover

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you'll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman's best friend, and there's no crying in baseball.
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Episodes

Sultry for Christmas

Pottymouth and Patti (but not Patti’s voice), take you into a holiday week with boyfriends from Toronto and Pittsburgh. While Pottymouth finds those MA connections , Patti looks at the cooks. Cody Bellinger goes to the Yankees, just like dear old dad, but we are more interested in his girlfriend as a serial MVP dater . MLB releases their report on pitcher injuries – the bottom line is, fault is everywhere except at the pitch clock. There are no more Guarantees at the CWS ballpark, and the public...

Dec 24, 202457 minSeason 8Ep. 386

Bonus Episode: The Sports Appraiser

On recent shows, Patti and the Pottymouth have talked about Ohtani's 50-50 Ball, Freddie's World Series Grand Slam Ball, and other meaningful baseballs. In this bonus Episode, from The Sports Appraiser Podcast, we bring you the experts to dig deeper: Michael Osacky is a USPAP Compliant sports appraiser and lead appraiser for PSA, which is the world’s largest third party grader of sports collectibles. The Sports Appraiser Podcast helps listeners become smarter about how to collect, value, and car...

Dec 19, 202414 min

It Could Be a Jillion

A 26 year old is a forever Met and is $765 Million richer. A 10 year old is a forever Freddie fan and his parents can send him to college. CHI is making some moves with Kyle and Carson, and TOR is just getting started wth Andres. We introduce our guys from the no-City-designation Athletics and our Washington Nationals, including some goofy , some hot start, some local boy makes good , and some of the best kind of scandal . Winter ball brings us cherry blossom pink , home run derbies in paradise ...

Dec 17, 20241 hr 11 minSeason 8Ep. 385

You Know What They Say About Florida Men

Here’s to believing that Pottymouth’s picks for LAA and MIA are men from Florida and not Florida Man. Patti avoids the potential pitfall by concentrating on California instead and exploring the ongoing Taylor vs Tyler naming conventions. We are flabbergasted that Aroldis F’n Chapman can still get a job and this Maura McGurk piece explains it better than we can. We workshop some approaches for a confrontation between Pottymouth and AF’nC such as, “I’m a schoolteacher. How do you explain yourself ...

Dec 10, 20241 hr 4 minSeason 8Ep. 384

David Ortiz’ Black Friday Shopping

Baseball teams fed a lot of people , Big Papi bought part of a ballclub, Brandon Crawford retired, LAD signed Blake Snell – how was your holiday weekend? We kick off the new year of baseball boyfriends with our picks for the CWS and COL. This week’s math lesson is how the playoff pool, this year a record-setting > $129 million, gets calculated and distributed to postseason teams. Rudy Guiliani tries to hang on to a handful of World Series rings, and Shohei Ohtani would like those baseball car...

Dec 03, 20241 hr 10 minSeason 8Ep. 383

Everything is Up in the Air, Except the Roof

Happy Thanksgiving week to all our friends – we are so thankful for you, and also that baseball thing. The big awards were announced and we’re surprised by our non-zero prediction success, happy about Stephen Vogt, and bitter about Chris Sale winning and Colton Cowser not. We brush up on hot stove vocab like “tender, ” Rule 5 , and qualifying offer . Kelsey stands in for Justine in Mexico and Alyssa goes to the Guards which may lead to Patti customizing a Nakken CIty Connect. In political news t...

Nov 26, 202446 minSeason 8Ep. 382

Did you have Weapons Charge on your Bingo Card?

Wander Franco just keeps trying new things and we’d like him to stop trying to collect the whole set. We try to block out the Juan Soto rumors because it is all a big tease because we’re pretty sure he’ll stay in NYC. The Trop is a wash for this season so the Rays will actually play in Tampa for the first time – thanks to the Yankee’s spring training facility and $15million. The Great Wall of Baltimore is on the move and Patti does not care for it. What’s the point of a neutral environment? Prem...

Nov 19, 202450 minSeason 8Ep. 381

Find Your Way to Cope

We are taking a breath and figuring out how to start from where we are. We talk yet more nepo hires , remind you of what the heck a super 2 is, and cover the latest complication in how to just watch the home team play. The Roki Sasaki watch is the next big thing – we’ll help you with the international posting rules, the bonus pools, and why January 15th means big money. Rich Hill and a bunch more “remember some guys” guys have some fun in the Premier12 , loanDepot park hosts another internationa...

Nov 12, 202454 minSeason 8Ep. 380

Holy Toledo, We’ve Got the WPBL!

It’s really happening, the Women’s Professional Baseball League is underway, looking for owners , broadcast deals, and prepping to draft a year from now. Sure, that World Series thing also happened, with Freddie doing all the things, the kid getting the special thing, the Hall of Fame getting the rest of the things, and the LAD flying to the parade on the Patriots AirKraft. Award season begins with the Gold Glove , and Salvy winning the Roberto Clemente honor. The Giants make a nepo hire but may...

Nov 05, 202453 minSeason 8Ep. 379

Deep Fried and Dancing

We say we don’t care but we talk ourselves into rooting for LAD because of sandwiches, some boyfriend math, and general disdain for the NYY. The dads check in – putting Freddie’s last few months in perspective, remembering childhood dreams , and dancing with the other dads . We lost Fernando Valenzuela last week and Pottymouth gives us some context, some history, and some appreciation. And not for nothing, brings up housing policy. The MLBPA Players Choice Awards foreshadow the big ones. We cons...

Oct 29, 202452 minSeason 7Ep. 378

Flyover State Mentality

As it turns out, the LAD vs NYY World Series is not *everyone’s* dream match up. Patti and Pottymouth are baseball sad, but yet we persevere. Kyle Manzardo and Tommy Edman show up big, the Temptations show up for Francisco Lindor , Pottymouth wants more chances for Oswaldo Cabrera to show up, and Patti wishes Mark Vientos showed up last year. Pottymouth directs your attention to International baseball in Taiwan, Venezuela , Puerto Rico , and the Dominican Republic because 1) it’s fun, and 2) it’...

Oct 22, 202445 minSeason 7Ep. 377

I'm Not Leaving My Glove at Home

Join us as we check back in with Shalvah Lazarus , the DC Girls Baseball player who we last spoke with 300 episodes ago. What are the paths, the decisions, faced by young women who want to keep playing the game they love as they approach heading to college? RIP to Luis Tiant – so much more than just the wildest wind up ever. We sum up our playoff hopes with Patti’s hometown team and those guys that went from hapless to miracle. Dave Roberts proves to be manipulative and a disappointment. The Mon...

Oct 15, 202457 minSeason 7Ep. 376

Midwestern Aggression

We celebrate the last Jackson standing and lament that the good working people of the midwest cannot watch their teams play in the post season because they work for a living. Patti wants the LAD to be more NYY and get their fans in line. Kyle can’t stop breaking his own records and Bryson has a most excellent birthday even if the guys call him a cheap date. Pottymouth crosstrains with music and we are soto-shuffling and OMG remixing all over town. Buster and Tito get new gigs. Pete does not. Wha...

Oct 08, 202449 minSeason 7Ep. 375

A Little Bit of Fruity Tartness

Oh friends, that’s it for the regular season! As we head into Wild(card) Week, Stone Garrett gets to have one great game, Elly messed with the early season math, and Phillies Daycare is immortalized on the wall of a bar. Nick goes all 162 on a dare, Kiké reminds Patti to get her eyes checked, and people are not showing their best selves over a historic home run ball. Tom Hanks and thousands of other As fans say goodbye to the Coliseum , many taking a piece with them. Some City Connects get retir...

Oct 01, 202446 minSeason 7Ep. 374

East Bay for Life

Elly breaks records, Bobby breaks records, and that Shohei guy says “hold my beer.” Jackson is not allowed to hold his beer until next year. We crosstrain with Caitlin Clark (and she cross-trains right back) and Green Day (Billy Joe uses his pottymouth powers for good). Teams are clinching their postseason berths and Patti reminds you why wildcard ranking matters. Pottymouth gets to welcome another Kyle into the fold and LaMonte has a homestand at an away series. Matt joins the dad strength club...

Sep 24, 202448 minSeason 7Ep. 373

Thumbs Up on Dinger

Turns out, all the to-do about Kumar Rocker a few years back was worth the wait. Jackson Chourio gives us a 20-20-while-20 and Elly slams when we’re not watching. Non-zero chance of Shohei pitching in the off-season gets treated as a guarantee, while fans pay premiums for a chance to shag his HR #50. Evan Phillips gets a silver bobble and Yamamoto bring a silver lining. Justin Turner gets super powers from his child-decorated cleats in honor of Childhood Cancer Awareness. Youngster Davis hits hi...

Sep 17, 202448 minSeason 7Ep. 372

“There Are So Many Stories!” See Her, Be Her

Patti and Pottymouth had the great joy of sitting down with Jean Fruth and Jeff Idelson, who are bringing their new film “See Her, Be Her,” to MLB Network between games two and three of this year’s World Series. “See Her, Be Her” profiles seven women baseball players in seven different parts of the world, and demonstrates the skill, perseverance, passion, and all-around badassery required to play the game they love. Jean and Jeff tell us about selecting the countries, the athletes, the stories t...

Sep 10, 202457 minSeason 7Ep. 371

Slumping at Woo

Three out of nine Jacksons again get a mention, one for breaking the scoreboard , one for a moment with dad , and one for walking it off. Rich re-takes the hill, the Brewers have a Brewer and this stuff writes itself. We’ve got both a good Zach and an “infuriatingly good” Zach . Joe makes a deal, Michael makes a catch, and Liam makes friends at AAA. Junior and Manny have a moment, Edwin and Alexis wish they didn’t. Come back next week for a special interview with the producers and director of th...

Sep 03, 202445 minSeason 7Ep. 370

A Mythical Moment

While we were sleeping, the Babe’s Called-shot jersey sold for $24million. Scott Servais? Fired. Jason Heyward ? “Fired.” Joey Votto ? Retired. Elly is better when we are not watching him, and Bobby is just good all the time. Salvy hangs with the neighborhood kids, and Shohei is his own kind of magic. Danny is scheduled to catch his own at-bat while the women tell the tale . And along with Orioles owner David Rubenstein, we cross train with the National Book Festival. We say, “I can say that bec...

Aug 27, 202458 minSeason 7Ep. 369

Road Trippin'

In this snack size episode, Maisie, our WAZE voice, co-hosts as we record while driving home after Patti and Pottymouth’s excellent adventure. We were billing our Great American Ballpark visit as a showdown between favorite shortstops, but alas Elly didn’t get the memo, nor did he get on base. Bobby did show his MVP chops however. PNC Park continues to be a thing of beauty although not so much the Pirates. We enjoyed two former Nats center fielders (Taylor and Robles) facing off for PIT and SEA....

Aug 20, 202424 minSeason 7Ep. 368

2 Out of 9 Jacksons

Sure there may be nine current MLB players named Jackson but we are only talking about two of them. Chourio takes a Henry Aaron stat, and every day is a homer Holliday anymore. Larry and Gavin Sheets share an unfortunate record but at least they have each other. Logan O’Hoppe celebrates his dad’s remission and helps many others in the process. Jack Flaherty and his mom come full circle. Mallory Swanson provides a spectacular opportunity for cross training. MLB has found the only way to get your ...

Aug 13, 202448 minSeason 7Ep. 367

That'll be Funky

Surprising no one, we talk about the unique stats of Kiké! And Bobby! We can’t help the exclamation points. We attempt to track the movements of our guys to new teams , to new positions in the batting order, and to the OBGYN . Jackson is doing Manny things, and we’re all over those Heart and Hustle winners. Here’s hoping Danny Jansen gets to play for both sides in the same game. Thanks, MLB for shining a light on the Women’s World Cup . Our Police Blotter is for real this time, and we cross trai...

Aug 06, 202452 minSeason 7Ep. 366

A Little Bit Tart

This snack-size episode talks Olympics – baseball next time , baseball-adjacent for now. Salvy has Bobby Junior’s back, and really, everyone else’s too. Manny sure looks good getting his 1000th RBI in Camden Yards, but for the other guys. The Police Blotter provides a teaching moment about what game balls to throw back – not THAT one . Trades are coming at us fast and furious as we approach the deadline, and there’s excitement at the Women’s World Cup . Dylan and Joe give us a fun fact. We say, ...

Jul 30, 202440 minSeason 7Ep. 365

Drink a Beer and Eat a Hot Dog with Junior

Welcome to Junior Pottymouth, sitting in for Patti who is hiding out in the mountains for a week. Junior’s bf Gunnar (you may have heard of him) and Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball league legend Jordan Westberg combine for one of those stats you can’t believe people track. Pottymouth dazzles with Elly Math, and Bobby Witt just keeps hitting since the all star break. Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball league legend James Outman is Back, Man. Pottymouth’s former bf Jarren Duran brings home the ASG MVP....

Jul 23, 20241 hr 1 minSeason 7Ep. 364

Lucky, or Sexy?

Better late than never as we squeeze this episode in between the Derby and the ASG. Will, Andres , and Zach do Patti proud with defense that may be lucky but is definitely sexy. Jarren Duran has the f*ck ‘em shirt (and soon Pottymouth will too) but Vaughn has the f*ck ‘em attitude. Kiké is on the bump trash talking Kyle from Waltham, while Kevin and Whit are on the outs. Wander Franco solidifies his spot on the NCiB no-fly list and there’s no coming back. Do you want to own a baseball team ? Kee...

Jul 17, 202458 minSeason 7Ep. 363

You Can Keep Your Points, Man, I’m Right

West Coast Correspondent Deborah brings her field report from an Oakland Ballers game where it’s always Grateful Dead night, and has Patti wishing for a guest announcing gig. Even in Pottymouth’s absence we check in on Jarren Duran and his f*ck em shirt , and Elly getting all team-matey. MJ Melendez gets the Dynasty Card of his dreams from local fans, Jack Suwinski helps PNC Park run out of home run fireworks . Everything is Just Fine on Deborah’s fantasy team because of Max Fried, a welcome ASG...

Jul 09, 20241 hr 7 minSeason 7Ep. 362

Hold Your Guffaws, It Gets Worse

We puzzle through giving benefit of the doubt, trusting one’s gut, and considering suspect timing, plus steaming nose emojis when evaluating the off the field actions of players. Jackson Chourio is hot and Pottymouth is here for it. OMG, José Iglesias ! Patti’s new pitcher Gavin Stone nearly has a Maddux, We learn what auto body skills have to do with custom cleats – thanks to Bryson Stott. Our police blotter ensures that we will always be a little afraid of ballpark escalators , and amused by t...

Jul 02, 202459 minSeason 7Ep. 361

Oaky, With a Hint of Grimace

Like a fine single malt scotch, this super-sized episode is packed with sophisticated flavors. We honor the passing of Willie Mays by sharing his legacy through words and not numbers. We look at the first steps that are the Rickwood Field game with the first all-Black umpire team, through the eyes of Masyn Winn , one of the few Black players on the game’s roster, and how far we have to go. In our boyfriend segment we note numerous names on the IL , gigantic hits , and a tiny, adorable (cheers!) ...

Jun 25, 20241 hr 11 minSeason 7Ep. 360

Summer Pottymouth Mode

Jonah and José spend Father’s Day weekend shoring up their Dad power. Masyn and Joey have us rethinking our ROY predictions. More of Patti’s pitchers hit the IL, and Pottymouth admits to over-gloating. That’s a real thing. Well-respected umpire Pat Hoberg is the first official to run afoul of MLB’s sports betting rules but he does not think that’s the case. On the happy betting side, Toronto’s 50/50 raffle is changing lives. The Cards crosstrain with the NBA, and Curt Miller , head coach of the ...

Jun 18, 202457 minSeason 7Ep. 359

That Spring and Boing and the Power

Join us as we math it out, suss it out, and legitimately incorporate the phrase “Tequila Shots” into a sports discussion. Pottymouth’s roster has an abundance of Ellys and a teaching moment about catching home runs in a full beer . Her recent history is dotted with Dodgers Hernandi, one for heroics , one for the dangers of being mic’d up while at work. Patti’s team has a pitcher getting booed in Yankee Stadium for all the right reasons, and a late roster add coming through big . Bfs past and onc...

Jun 11, 202457 minSeason 7Ep. 358
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