Replay* Conversations About Weddings

Wash up and welcome back to another episode of No Senners Podcast with your host now fuck that with your load glasses Malone. According to ABC seven News, newlyweds Kiera broken Bro and her husband Joel spent five hundred dollars covering her dress, venue and reception. Her goal was to just be as minimal as possible, to spend the least amount of money as possible. She bought her dress from a fashion brand called Shine or Shane, which cost forty

There's no comp that I'm aware of. I'll tell you that much.

It's another couple of dope ladies. It's one specifically that talked about instead of trying to get child support from her baby dad, she just loaned him some money to help him start a trucking business. She's there too, that's for another day.

That was called a long money play.

Yeah, brilliant. Yeah, it's one of the five. Okay, I'm just gonna be nice. She's one of the ten greatest women to ever live for that stunt.

Easily she's in the top ten women.

But she's sure she's top ten.

No way below fourth. I mean, you can make it.

The top's in the top ten. And I've been to weddings my homegirl, Debbie dav wedding was insane. Was at this ranch. You know, it was real nice, laid in and out truck come food, The in and out truck came for the receptions, like you ate, two or three times they did and out truck. Yeah, they went all the way. People are spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on weddings thirty to three hundred thousand dollars on weddings.

I went to one of those.

One of my homies is getting married and him and his girl, right, they're trying to figure out what they're gonna do about their place.

Wait, their place to live, or their place for.

The place to live once they get married, gotcha. And instead of I think he would like for her to say, let's minimize the wedding right to a small number and take the rest of the money right and go get a place to live. And she doesn't want to do it because this is her dream day. Yeah, not the rest of the marriage, no, but just this specific day.

Because you don't get attention the rest of the time.

Is that what it is? Yeah?

Women love attention. That's all the day ever, wont life. They're all narcissists. Everybody knows that if she invited her friends and family over every single day to the new house, the new house would be pristine.

No, silis z l my man, Peter, and thisiz not going crazy. What's the most extravagant wedding you've ever been to?

By far easily.

I've been to some good weddings, my cousin, right, like my family, like my grandpa, you know, has some money. My cousin married a lady whose dad has a lot of money, like hundreds of millions of dollars type shit. So we went to his wedding out in Colorado and it was Yeah, there were ice sculptures of swans. It was at this huge, massive mega resort in the mountains. It had a live band with live dancers.

It had it. It was ridiculous.

Where were they from Denver?

The guy like built Denver? He was a real estate developer.

Wow? What kind of food was it?

Honestly, I don't even remember. There was too much going on.

I've been to four or less weddings in my life. I've been to fifty funerals, but I've been to four weddings the home.

Huh, I've been to maybe six.

Yeah. The homie Chuck Dizzel married the homegirl Toashi Chuck Dizzel, who works at ninety two point three on in La So I went to his wedding. I went to Debbie dav who was my dog. I make Debbie dev used to work at KD. Her husband plays football for one

He didn't get married in carstrated, did it?

No? No, he came home and got married like a year after. Those are the four weddings that I've been to, And when I tell you, they couldn't they were so different. But I just think about what a wedding really represents.

What do you think a wedding really represents.

I definitely think it's women's turn to have all lies on me. I think they have a few moments in life where it's all lies on me. Right, the baby shower is all lies on me, The wedding to some degree is all lies on me. And prime is all lies on me. Mm hmm yeah. Am I missing something in the in the Latin community, excuse me? And they got me. So that's another one. But I didn't even want to count that.

And if you're a Jewish, the bat mitzvah.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I just don't get it, Like, what's the point?

I mean, to some, to some degree of scale, most of the time, women are just in the midst of inexplicable actions for the purpose of trying to gain unwarranted attention, And you're asking, what's the point, Well, what's the point of which part? What's the point of the wedding? Because the point of the wedding is what it is described. What's the point of what it is described? There isn't one, but if you ask them, that's the only point in life.

So it's just a natural wire for attention.

Yeah, because women are men are producers and women are consumers.

Say it for years.

If you ever get married, Yeah, well, what kind of wedding would it be?

It's going to be a wedding.

I actually want to have my wedding at a graveyard because there's going to be an unnamed guest of honor at the wedding and the crowd who's been paid an obscene amount of money to assassinate me. So I'm already at the graveyard from my wedding assassination.

Oh man, I don't know at this point. Probably not. No, I don't want to go on a dinner date. For Christ's sake, that's where I want to get married.

You really don't want to go on to dinner date.

Now I would.

I wouldn't mind getting married. If I could be an estranged husband, that would be cool. I wouldn't mind being defined as estranged.

So you would get married just to be defined as ant what you and women? Man, we gotta we gotta get the spokesman for women to sit down at the table with you, because this ship crazy. Man. I've never met anything demoted like And honestly, Pete, do you hate women?

No?

We had this episode before we're gonna get back to weddings.

I'm just saying before we slip back, so I can see how I'm saying. Do you have an extreme dislike for women's ways? I just don't want to be bothered with women ways.

I understand.

It depends on how all right, in the context of me personally in my life, they're good for nothing, what they other than the sexual shit? I mean, really, you take that out of there. What are we doing the rest of It's just just an agitation. But in the greater scheme of humanity and society and everything like that, Yeah, there's value there. I understand that there's a lot of value to the greater population and to other individuals in the scope of my individual existence.

It's see, it's about it. I'm sorry.

Not the cooked meals.

No, I'm better cooked than most of any woman I've ever met in my life.

I like the happy companionship.

God fuck, that's the worst part.

The companionship is the worst part.

What part would be worse than that? If that's not the worst part, then what's the worst part? Exactly? I rest my case.

I don't think. I don't know. If the companionship is the worst part, then what's the worst part? In the companion is the worst part.

What would be the worst part? Then what's worse than that?

In dealing with a wife or a woman or a wedding, like so certain parts I'll agree with. Right, I'll agree women tend to want to turn what should be affairs will right as a relationship, they tend to naturally want to turn into a roller coaster. I agree. I'm not gonna lie. I've seen that enough times. I think I interact with a ton of traumatized women. You know what I mean, because you know from the community. But I have watched women turn ferris will relationship, which that's how

So yes, I agree, as long as we're keeping the carnival theme, you know, going with that, I relate. I'm gonna put a twist. I don't disagree with the roller coaster thing. I think that that's very true.

I could also.

Make a strong case that instead of a ferris wheel, women want to turn a relationship into a house of mirrors.

We're everywhere they turn, they just see themselves.

Not even you in the picture with them, not if I have by way, I'm saying they don't want you in that house of mirrors with them.

They probably do.

They just want me to stand in a corner so that I'm not in the way in the mirrors.

I've said a relationship is I set a marriage right, So post a wedding, I said a marriage is a man walking with a woman, a woman walking trying to find her way through life, and having a man to hold the flashlight. Yeah, as they try to discover who they are.

Dude, you know what weddings are like. Weddings are like Joe Biden press conferences.

You have one handl er walk her up to the podium and then another handler grabs her real quick and make sure she's where she is, and then that guy walks her off. Otherwise Joe gets lost. That's a wedding right there. Joe will forget it, but by the time you know, it starts.

So how could this woman, how could this woman right yes, be so selfless? Or is there selfless motivation that we're not aware of?

Maybe she has you know how you can get a vitamin that like vitamin B for example, that's time distributed.

Maybe she has buffered.

Time distributed selfishness, and she thinks to herself, you know what, I'm not going to spend all my money on these friends and family. I'm gonna hoard all my money and spend it on me later, which sounds kind of like what she said.

So then that means, oh, so she still got the attention for free.

Yeah, she got the money and she's a Tony Montana of what brides?

Oh z.

And right now that guy was He was the one who got his head sowed into by a chainsaw.

Yeah. Do you know anything about weddings at all? Besides that you don't want one?

Yeah, I've been most of the weddings I go to. I'm in the what are the group of guys that are there with the guys?

Yeah, I'm one of them. I was the best man one time, for real. Yeah, that was a mistake. They got divorced.

Why was it a mistake? Though?

They shouldn't have asked me to be the best man. I didn't want to be at that wedding. I hate going to weddings man, for real? Yeah, I hate that ship?

Is it too much happiness?

I don't like small talk with people. That's a lot of that shit.

You always get stuck talking to a bunch of people you don't know, don't like, don't want to be talking to.

What the am I doing here?

Yeah? But you actually formulate an opinion on that, Like, I don't think I've ever formulated an opinion on small talk.

It's most all of what you're doing there. Like, if you're there for four hours, you sit there, you watch the wedding for an hour, then you're at the reception for three talking to people you don't don't know, don't care about, and whatever.

The fuck, Like you haven't got a girl from there?

Hell no, I don't think so. Oh no, not really.

I met a couple of girls at at one wedding, but it was like a super Christian wedding, So that was a waste of time.

It was a super Christian wedding. Yeah, so that was a waste of time. That's right. Why the fuck would that be a waste of time?

Pete me real quick.

So you really feel like women are only good for just sex?

Not in the world. I know everyone wants to hear this I'm saying in the world, that's not what I'm saying. Am I saying in the greater society and your personal existence? To me?

For me, there's not a whole lot else did you bring to the table?

I asked you, I asked girls, why what do you do? What is it that? What am I getting out of this? There's no answers, there's a blank stares.

What if a woman wanted to marry you, but she was a billionaire so she could finance all your ideas she brings I'm not dumb enough to fall for that ship.

There's no way that. Then immediately they become.

Her ideas if that's any wealthy person.

No not, they become her ideas on paper.

As soon as she doesn't like the direction I'm taking my idea, it goes a different direction that it's her idea now.

So there is no woman breathing air that you were.

Married at this point in my life, Rihanna.

Hell know Randna got knocked up. Jesus Christ, what does she got? One of them late abortions?

You want to know the coldest shit I'm going to say on this entire podcast in my wanting you, I don't know. Look, here's here's my rule on abortions to me. If you wait so long that the stretch marks are already there, you might as well keep it because you're good for.

You're good for nothing. Now, you wore yourself out, Now you might as well.

Just keep it. You don't like stretch marks.

Not if they came from somebody else.

No, I don't want to look at a bunch of reminder lines of the last guy's dick.

I'm cool on.

That, but do it matter? Yeah?

I don't want to buy a car with someone else's face painted on the hood.

It's not their face, it's just reminded somebody else drove the car every time I tried to look at it.

Define goddamn time.

That's what you see as stretch works.

I offered to pay a girl that at the time I would have married like ten grands to get an abortion because she was with another dude for a minute and wanted to come be with me, but she got printant. I'm like, man, I'll buy you a ring. I'll pay for it, like eve five thousand cash, all that shit, whatever you want. She kept that motherfucker straight up, and a dude left her in like a week.

Rah tried to bribe somebody's baby. Mom wanted to get in the boys and something.

It was super early. It was super early. It want to show nothing.

Bro, you a sick nigga. Bro, you looked sick.

I never said I was nice. Man, you guys over there acting like, oh, you're not nice. I never said I was nice.

I didn't think you were nice or for life, but I didn't know you was this for sure. You're well mattered, but you actually are a white person. That's right.

That was.

What the fuck it sounds like you loved her, So I guess that's how it worked.

Whatever, that's how, that's how it didn't work. I'm taking that much.

I don't even know what to say, man, I ain't what's funny is you said some ship? Because I don't even know what to say. Sometimes I'll be like, damn, how do I even respond to that? I just was thinking, like, I don't know, Pete, You're a different breed dog, different breed you and sugar free man, You and sugar free y'all some ship, I tell you. It is weird though, when some when people have these huge, giant weddings and

I don't know what the correlation is, if there is one.

That's a good question, because it has to be some kind of correlation. Yeah.

I mean, like I look around at like people that I know, there isn't any I've seen like like relatives that did like the just did, like the city Hall marriages and that kind of thing, that those didn't work.

They were done in eighteen months.

And I've seen the big old blowout once burned down too, And I've seen them both work like my grandparents wentn't and loped in like Yuma.

It's some tiny it was like the Vegas of.

The time, back in the forties or fifties or whatever the hell, some tiny little chapel that ran over there and got married, came back, you know, till death did them part.

Have no idea.

The weirdest shit to weddings with me is when you see a girl wear white. Now, sometimes I be thinking to myself, like I might have owned only person here thinking why is this woman wearing white? Like, and I'm talking about like, I've only been the four wedding, so I'm thinking of who wearing white? I'm like, and they probably go hear this and cuts me out. But I was thinking to myself, like, this is such a lie.

It didn't help that you mentioned some of the weddings already.

Right, it's only four of them. But it's like, why would you be wearing white? This is not a token color for a wedding, you feel me.

It's supposed to be emblematic. Yeah, They're supposed to be emblematic.

Yeah yeah, But I think and but I think sometimes I think that also is a problem, right, because our whole life white, we're taught that bride like women are like innocent, I mean they're innocent, they're like precious, they desire to look after and care for. Right, That's how you kind of are brought into this world believing, oh, you should never put your hands on them. They are right.

Oh, it's female propaganda big time. It's just a bunch of lies being fed to us by by women or being fed to men who propagate them at the behest of women.

So one of the main problems is if you're a bribe, if you're a groom, right, and you see this lady coming down the aisle, h and she's wearing his white dress, she's with her father, you're just staring at her. It almost sends off a false like sense of like what's about to happen. So now, now the average nigga, that average human being might not look at that deep. But that's what I see.

I mean, I don't think there's anything I can disagree with on that. You're kind of almost are saying, Wow, I have a big lie headed my way, and the whole family appears to be in on it, because the patriarchal set of family is the one handing the lie.

To me. I just don't understand why they can't wear yellow or like a darker color. I mean, and if it was if white signified pure in the wedding, you know, white dress, most of these motherfucker should be wearing brown or black.

Well, if you ask the women who are wearing the dresses, all those other dicks didn't count.

So they're virges.

Because they you know, I said, the only person, the only person, the woman is more comfortable lying too than you.

It's herself.

I need to get you on with a woman, man, because you just really and you know what, I can't just say you're crazy. That's that's my because because it's right, I ain't gonna jump off that cliff because women do have more value. Now, what you find valuable is different, right, so I can't tell you what you found value in. And women have more value to me than vagina, of course.

And I acknowledge that just to me, I acknowledge that, not to the world, but to me totally.

So what else do you value of a woman If it's totally no, I'm.

Saying I totally can understand based on knowing me where you're coming from.

Yeah, okay, okay, yeah yeah.

I don't think, Wow, you're crazy, you're weird. No, not at all.

I don't think that I understand that ever looked.

At another human being. I mean, I guess some people it is only good for one thing. I guess some humans are whatever. That one thing could be.

Nine percent of the humans I look at when I or I look around and see I'm like, just just good for nothing.

Just just in my way, just in my fucking way.

I can't focus because you just really going right now?

No I'm not, I'm not going. But when the monologue starts, it's evident.

I don't know. I just I just like I said, I question a lot of different things about weddings, like why do people who don't go to church do it in the church.

The same reason they wear a white dress. It's all about optics. It's all about your moment in the sun.

Everyone's looking at you in serious You want to be right, you want them to think exactly of you what you want them to think of you.

So at that point, is that a conscious lie? Yeah?

You know you want to know how I know what's a conscious want lie? Because who the fuck plans the wedding out of the two people involved?

Sure, the woman, But I'm saying, do you think they're aware that only like a white dress signifies pure?

Women don't aren't aware of.

Truth, so they don't know truth exists.

No truth exists as they see it. The only truth is the of the multiple choice of options for perspective on everything. We're looking at it like false false true false false, and.

We go see they're like, hmm, A, B, C, D E which one makes me feel the best? B.

So you think when they're wearing these white dresses, they're conscious that they should signify pure, but they decide if I wear another color, it won't make me feel as good.

I think it's hard for me to swallow the idea that it doesn't cross their mind. I think that it's all about well, I want to look and be perceived a certain way. This is my opportunity to paint my personality over an entire day in front of everybody that I know. And care about and even people that this idiot that I'm marrying those and that you know, I want to be perceived as prettier better. I mean, you see the dress of me that since they're waist up,

Of course, so they just.

They want to make it look like this other idiot lucked the fuck out. He got a moral, upstanding, gorgeous woman, and he should be down on his knees thanking God with all who hundred of you. It's is my witness and his witness.

I can't laugh because you does he give me a trouble every time?

Oh?

That's part of the fun.

Oh hold up? Hold up? So they're consciously aware that the white dress signifies pure or do they think just all brides supposed to wear white?

I think it's like, you know.

The white is supposed to signify pure, That's what I'm saying. Is it a conscious lie?

I don't think it's a conscious lie, but I think it's a conscious omission. You know, it's like the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

It's like they're a little oft on c and be.

Oh man, oh man. And then what's the church represent Like if you don't go to church right every weekend or this is not your church, what does the church represent in the grand scale of the wedding? If you don't have God, if you're not going to the church for God to oversee your life, why go to the church for God to oversee your wedding? What's their thoughts at that point?

I think it's simply perception. We want to be perceived as good and moral, upstanding, god fearing people. Well, this is a great optic for us. It looks very conventional and acceptable. And I also have to be here so that this idiot that I married can thank that guy over there on the cross a million times that he got such a pure and beautiful woman that I've dulled myself up into a pairing like today.

Oh oh man, oh man, ah man, oh man, oh man. Not again. Oh so you said the whole wedding is just a great lie.

It's not a great lie. And it's certainly it's a great production, you know what it is.

It's like it's a TV show.

Yeah, it's based on a true story.

It's like a sitcom that's happening live.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like if you you go onto the Netflix and it says movies based on real life.

It's not not real life, but it's based on it. You know, it's based.

Loosely and one time she was a pure persons.

Yeah, we're summing her whole life up until one day starts with the dress, ends with her half naked and drunk.

So it sums up her whole life the way she would like other people to see it.

Yes, it's a little bit of revisionist.

History, so she's rewriting her narrative on this day.

Yeah, it's it's it's a great creative interpretation of reality and a based on reality lifetime movie.

Oh and what about the honeymoon?

The honeymoon, we.

I mean ship that you owe me if it vacation? You see all the effort that I put into making that wedding happen for you. Did you see how uncomfortable my hair and that dress was so that could look good in front of your family?

You owe me a vacation. I need to relax.

I've been stressed out playing this wedding for the last eight months. It's a well learned vacation in her mind. Sorry, now, it's a well earned vacation with a great opportunity to take selfie's at an expensive beach resort.

So is anything about it real? Anything about a wedding real?

Yes?

What's the realest thing about a wedding? The bill? So what about that five hundred dollars or less bill that her yard?

Yeah, that is real.

Honestly, I wouldn't have gone to that wedding. I don't like weddings. I'm sure ship not gonna go to a wedding where you slap me in the face and say come through here. We're gonna have a checkout cashier so you can buy your own food at this reception of this wedding you don't want to even be at, So, like, that's pretty low rent. If they had done everything except ask the guests to pay for their own food, I'd have been like, this is the most unbelievable thing of

It's true that fact. So your issue is the fact she made the guests pay for their own food.

Yeah, because on the spec.

You should have fed them. Yeah.

And it's like there's like everything exists on a spectrum.

There's there's obnoxiously overdone, and then there's obnoxiously underdone that that's a little bit, and then there's you know, right where you want to be in the middle. They actually came down so far that they passed the sweet spot and were obnoxiously cheap.

So what should have they done for the food if they wanted to keep the bill low?

Whatever the fuck they want, but you've got to provide it.

I don't.

I'm not big on inviting people to things and asking them to pay for it.

Dude, I wouldn't even be here. You're asked me to be here? Why am I? I wouldn't? You No, you don't, you don't, But.

Yesh, I mean I I don't need to eat at the wedding because after that miserable display.

I just witness.

I'm gonna have a hard time keeping it down, but most people.

Yeah, I get it, go ahead, most people.

Most people, you know, they associate large social gatherings around food and drink. It's kind of a tried and true historical culture. It's normal though, It's very normal, very normal.

This is, this is, this is. I don't know how we spun back I guess because we're mentioning women were how we spun back into this place of why would you wear a white dress if you're conscious that white dress is to signified purity. That's yeah, it's funny because I just did a podcast and I was telling this girl, I was explaining, I'm like, makeup is like deceptive, right this,

Everything that they do is for themselves.

For fuck's sake.

Of course they're doing for themselves.

They're getting you for themselves because they need a man, because they want you to be in their life. They want to be seen with you. They want you to pay for their ship. They want you to entertain them, they want you to accompany them, they want you. All that shit. They're doing that for them. Everything that they

But they makeup, not on or whatever the fuck else. They won't. All right, I can't see you right now. I gotta keep up this lie. Fuck out of here, it's true, I mean, can't.

Can Can I scratch off the serial numbers, change the color of the car, and roll back the odometer.

No, they don't roll back the old dometer, do they.

Oh, you can spray all that makeup all over your face.

That's rolling back the oldmeter.

Yeah, all that work.

All the face work, dying the gray out of your hair, putting all the spray on wet foundation on all that wet foundation they put on over that, and the foundation they put on over that, and then the foundation they put on over.

That to cover up all those wrinkles.

Your goddamn right, And that one day, that one day is today where nobody's or is it. No, that's not the day everybody's applauding those lies.

It's today no one's allowed to call bullshit.

Good looking out for tuning in to The note Seller's podcast. Please do us a favorite, subscribe, rate, comment, and share. This episode was recorded right here on the West coast of the USA and produced by my homeboy A King for the Black Effect podcast network and now Heard Radio year