Conversations With Job (From the Bible)

It's the friend spiritually to connect. So King. So I was telling you the story about how I met King when I was going through my journey and he was like the only person that was really down for me, Like everybody else left me and thought I was crazy, but he stayed down with me. And I know it sounded crazy what I was on, but it really made sense.

So let me tell you king story. So King King's family right, his uh, his girlfriend would be like his fiancee, his his daughter, her daughter, his young son um two two and a half maybe three, right, his daughter and three grandchildren right, all died in one car accident. I knew you're gonna say something horrific and for more people than not. Right, it sounds crazy because one person could bear that load. Yeah, I'm like, how but was ill

about King? And what I respect about him the most is somehow he finds a way to keep walking forward even through all of this, Right, Like my code always tell people, I'm like, I'm still here, so you know, I do have a lot of respect for people who are still here after terrible things. And and I don't want to say terrible, because God loans all his people.

I'm just not yet to me, that's terrible. I'm sorry. Well, sometimes God loan us all the people, and sometimes we gotta realize we gotta give them back, even if you don't want to. I don't think I've lost anyone close enough to me to get to that place of people obviously that that's that's the that's it'll never be peaced, right, They'll never be peaced. But you really got to understand

that God only people. And I will tell you that based off the story, and then I'm like, yeah, I mean conceptually it makes sense for putting that into practice. You know that that's one of the goals of life is to be able to let everything go, and that's what I'm having right, not let it go, though, And I feel like we all could get a lesson because it's right. This is somebody I looked up to before

I even knew why. Yeah, you know, I don't even This is like a weird question because you got to engineer the show and I don't want you to like to break up and ship, But how is it possible for somebody to go through that type of trauma? Yeah? I mean, even though we all know God lone us to his people and we're not ready to give him back,

how do you actually find any space to operate? Honestly? Uh? Man, that is a hard I mean it's not something you really think about, right, It's just not Every day is hard. Every day I wake up and I have to tell myself I'm just like reborn again, Like it's a fresh starter, you know, and try to look at the world like a child again and everything be new and fresh, because for a while I kept chasing that old life. My family are looking at the old people that was in there,

are trying to do the old things. And when you lose something so great, it's irreplaceable. Exactly, you can't find the replacement and think it's gonna work and things that's gonna build, okay. And so it took me until about thirty days ago, forty days ago to realize that I

was chasing something that I'll never get. And in the process of chasing something I'll never get, I started resenting my life and not being able to be And when I started resenting my life, I stopped really caring about what other people felt and stuff, and I started hating the world. And I realized I wasn't the best for the friends that was trying to be there for me at the time of my turmoil and stuff. And so once I realized it's me and I am still here

and my family is still here. As long as I'm still here, I can still have them live. And that's why I built my nonprofits so they could always stay alive. I've seen somewhere that says that when a person dies and you stopped thinking about them, they die twice because you know people energy. So I always felt as the head of my household and well I was teaching my family was to persevere no matter what, and for that that happened, and for me to preach that to my

family forced to stand on. Then I had to dig deep down and live for them in the very beginning because I died that day physically, physically, mentally, body, everything, chemically, I'm not the same, you know, physically I'm not the same. I'm just I just died. That version died, like you said, that version of me died, and so it took long three years to be reborn, but with friends like you and people that didn't put a lot of pressure on me,

but they was there for me. And that he was crazy because you don't really know how to be there, you know what I mean, You don't. You don't know, like I worried about you all the time, and like it was crazy than one of the coldest places in my life, feeling like I said, well, mom, family, my

brothers checked out, everybody quit on me. All the people around me with music thought I was losing my mind because I was on my own journey, mixing purpose with actual you know what I was supposed to doing this

industry because they all played together. So trying to be there for you, it's not even calm, it's not even comparable what I'm saying, Like like we were on the road for me, we buying a car, drive and he's flying out there, ride with me for days as much as he can, you know, still being back with his

family running his businesses. He would fly out there. We'd be out there for days, you know what I mean, and just he let me figure it all out for me and never like pushed me or said, oh, it needs to happen now, right, And he kind of said that he touched on the same thing as first. He felt like friends like you, this is different. Really, the impact that he put on my life, people really would never understand because he helped me build my family. Honestly,

he helped me build. He helped me name my child. I made him like, man, you're the guyfather of my son. You know, I got a picture on my phone for and so he actually was there from the very beginning. He helped me. He helped me have my family have fun, you know what I'm saying. Like he said, we're across the country and I was able to bring my family and stuff to these events that we did. And he wasn't like, your family can't be a party. He's like,

they could bring your family's fun. So he was showing me a world that you know, I could bring my family into it, and we all have fun and stuff. So when that accident happened, he was a cornerstone for me, even though it was hard. Like I was saying to people, it was hard to see other people be happy. It was hard to see people play with their kids. It was even hard for me to go see him be with his family and stuff because I feel like a part of the family at one time. But then I

became so broken. What do you say to somebody? What? There's nothing, nobody, anything at all that could really tell me because there's no way I could explain how I really feel. Because I come to a point is I don't want people to feel what I feel. Right, you don't even want to know. I stopped talking or even wanted to tell people feel it. No, don't feel whatever what I feel. Don't even try to feel what I feel because the pain that you have to go through,

people don't make it. It's still unbearable as to ship people don't trust me. People, but that pain. Because the way I was raised, I used that pain as energy in and I feel like I could be the conduit between negative and positive, something to listen to. As far as being able to kind of go through the process of of a rebirth internally and in your outlook for

for your life and everything. Not to compound bad news on bad news, but did like the experience of getting a big you know term handed to you when you were young, you know, and that changing maybe like the outlook of Okay, my life's now changed permanently, and then coming out and reinventing yourself. Is that something that could help you. Well. Definitely, our past always help us because if we pay attention, it becomes wisdom, you know what

I'm saying. But for me, if we really go back to would build me to be able to go through this is I remember my mom telling me I was a little kid that she was I was supposed to be adopted. She had put me up for adoption, but I was born with a head full of hair, and so the newspaper wanted to take a picture of me because kids at that time didn't have a head full of beautiful soldier nurse did something which she wasn't supposed to do. She took me to my mom as she

saw you see, I want to keep you. I want to keep my son, you know what I'm saying. So for me, and then you know, when I was two years old, she met this white guy who was an attorney. He became my dad. So for me, my life has always been growing up black with a white stepdad. You learned the fight, yeah, because they would take it as a weakness. And wait a minute, my whole family helped build where I'm from. Just because my mom, you know, got a white dude, doesn't make me different than who

I'm from. I got a black dad. Really, you know what I'm saying. I'm really a nig I'm not a white dude, you know what I'm saying. So for me, my life has always been that way. So at seven years old, I got locked up in juvenile you know what I'm saying. I've always been in trouble all my life because I always felt different, And I mean I could get down to some real just being a Seahawks fan, well Seahawks Seahawks different Seahawks fan empowered me to go

around the country and feel good. I'm just saying, because that's different to be a superslime Was you a SuperSonics fan? I was a supersilized fan when it was a good day. Did you like the Mariners when they had all those players and can never win. I love the Mariners and my fact, what's your team? And what see there? It is so anyway there it is right there, somebody answer that one. It's like, yeah, he didn't ask the question

correctly at all because he's not a sports fan. He's not because I would have just said I'm not a fan, Like what's your favorite who's your favorite team out of all the sports? Obviously money is his favorite team. Ever's going to win his Pete's favorite team. Remember I told you that this favorite team is bit calm set up straight up, let me ask you something like, yeah, how trying is it? Spiritually? I never like these is what's crisis.

We never had these conversations because I never felt like this was something I wanted to ask, but it was something I felt like I needed to know, you know what I mean, just because I'm around and and it's one thing, like I said, just having your back no matter what I mean, Like I told you the time, all the time we argue, like we could argue all you want to. I'm not backing down. I'm not gonna

quit on you. I'm not so whatever you think you're gonna do that just ain't gonna work out and seven Street on me all the time, especially because we don't do no photo. So you can't run me off. You can't. The burden of it all can't run me off. I'm not gonna forget you exist. I'm not gonna let you just walk by yourself. If there was a burden, if I could take something, feel me, I'm gonna take as

much of it as you allow me to take. So that's why I'm asking because I and I like, you know, we're on a podcast and this is such a personal conversation. But I feel like beautiful because it's something that it's something I could benefit. Rangel could benefit from it because I don't. I never talked about so spiritually, how trying is it? Like, I'm sure there's time when you could be upset with God. I'm sure there's a thousand thing

when you ask why spiritually? Um, because of being locked up like I was, I was able to go through so many different transformations of religions while in prison. You know, I was, you know, seventh Venice. I was a Catholic because I used to go to these things just to get out myself, right, you know what I'm saying you had what religion? I'm there, did River cross out of

the greater Christian umbrella to be like like Muslim? No, No, I'm telling my tan, my transformation, Tell my transformation, my transformation. When I was in the state prison, I was doing state stuff, you know, state religion. You know I was in Washington, so state is Christianity. Yeah, it was basically state religion. There was a couple of month Usluims and stuff that was in there, but not no real big Muslim force. You know. Now, when I went to the Fans,

that's when things changed. That's when I became a nation of Islam. I became an n O I f O I and stuff. In prison, became a Muslim and started really learning about myself exactly because it's a journey of self discovery. So my spiritual journey has always started because I'm at the end of the Adiac sign as the Pisces. You know what I'm saying. I always knew there was something greater in me to do something by fish, Yes,

you already know bo, so you already know I'm destined. Yes, And you're very, very emotional, and you hardly talk about your emotions at all. You know everything in and it can be um traumatized in for a person to not feel that I'm in a strong yeah, all of it. That ship is real, yes, of course. Okay, Pete, what's your signs? Hold? Hold? What's your sign that's sexy as hell? No? No, like a libra or something. What's your sign? Pete? Pizza Gemini? I don't I hate Gemini. Don't say thats okay, I

say libra. Because you have like a very strong confidence about yourself. But you try to pretend like you don't, like you're not shy. I don't try to raise your hand like, excuse me, like you quiet as a mouse. I'm supposed to be raising my hand. I'm the nervous one. Okay, hold on, hold on, both experts is dead ass from exactly. So where's your sign for two? You want to go? You want round two? Well, now that I see you're an asshole, you might be a tourist. Down to six

more choices? Okay, virgo apparently by definition, I don't know what that means. So tell me about a vision. Oh my god, I love you. Okay. First of all, my mother is a virgo and my best guy friend is a virgo. Um, okay. Virgos are First of all, they're like super self critical. I don't want to start like with a negative, but I will just start so very self critical. But they're like able to like self correct. Virgos is born with like all these questions in their head,

like how do things working? Why? Why? Why? Like if your parents tell you something, you want to know, well why? I don't know for sure, but this that like always having that curious mind and then it being so young and not having no answers. It makes you search for truth in a deeper meaning of life. And and from what I've seen, virgos be reading books that nobody else be reading at a very early age, like my mom has read over like, uh books, that's a handful of books.

Oh my god, I'm right, Oh my god, I love you. How is it any accuracy at all? Okay, that's pretty good? Yeah, pretty good. Okay, that was all off of knowing you for we're meeting you ten minutes ago. Well about glasses Now we already know him, so it wouldn't be fair. It's not fair, like we're like we're kind of the same person in a sense. It's just I know, I don't look as big and tall and scary as him. But don't let this little body for you. You know, this guy no big and scary the boys no, no

hold because we just lost track. That just went off spiritually. So you've been prepared for this. No, I haven't been pared for this. I mean not not actual, it's not actually God taking the people back from you. But I've been fair spiritually to have to go through war war. I've been prepared to have to. So none of this has really shook you spiritually more or less it makes you just don't want to be here. No, it shook me very spiritual. I mean like I was telling something.

When I first got a prison, I was more spiritual. But then as time went on, I got away from my sports. A couple of Porto sunges. I probably came close to sniffing song some port I was bacon. I got away from my goals to be a spiritual I was that portas sounds that bacon. I didn't use garden bacon, you know, because no, because he's a Muslim. Muslim they

don't eat pork. I'm saying, when you break your spiritual business by saying he does eat pork, No, I don't know if he's never seen I've never seen every's every ive never seen before I ever seen me eat pork. No, I've never seen he's never seen me eport nobody very good and pulled pork sandwich for lunch today Spring Street Barbecue, Downtown Caddy corner from over Street. Shout no, yeah, pay us,

pay us stin what shot what? Shout him out. We'll give you we we we we get wet, leave you about to commercial first, and then try to try to let go to give you free poor porks. I'm glad you said that, Pete. I'm glad you said that, Pete, because before I reach my spiritual point you was talking about, I probably would attack you on that, you know, for having yeah up in here around me talking about porks.

But because yeah, because of my spiritual journey now, I really don't honestly, and it's hard for people to understand. I don't give a fuck, you know. I know that I have to do things and everybody's not gonna understand. Everybody's not gonna like it as long as I have good intentions, and so right now in my spiritual form, now it's all about for me is good intentions and helping people smile. That's my spiritual basis now when I get up spiritually, I just want to help people smile

and stuff, you know, things like that. That's it. And you think you can do that without cooking them pork, Oh, well you you need He made me some. The one thing is I'm not gonna use the port to divide us. That's OK. Don't don't give me roll. Pork has advantage. He won't let the pork pork pup. No, I'm not gonna let the port. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. All I could do is give you the info and

you know you can talking hours about how pork is filthy. Yeah, I'm not gonna get it too that with them Cam, Cam, it takes it takes Cam. No, no, So when Cam comes, Cam is my big brother from the nation and on my way for that for me. Yeah, we don't talk about Pete. He came through before. We didn't. Yeahah, yeah, we Cam and Cam and YB. Yeah you know Bro. So yeah, Cam is the one that knows about port. I lost a bed to young Bro, his little brother. That's how I having a port iv a porss. So

it wasn't what I thought you. I thought, I you didn't eat it for spiritual reason. No, no, it is spiritual. No no, I lost that bed and I realized why shouldn't be And when he lost that bed, it was. But but I just want to go on record and camera's gonna kill me. Cam's gonna kill me? Why b is gonna kill me? Pork is awesome season. You don't even have to add season to it. You could just hook it up fried up its fire. So you miss port?

Are you miss bacon? Because remember pork there's a whole big table about pork, ham slices and different so set me finished. So when me and Head lost this bet, right, because me and DJ Head lost the bet, we was at Chili's. They used to have this maple bacon. It was thick man. We used to go out like, I don't like bacon. If he has to see his eyes. This bacon was so far he should be the thick slab. We used to stack it up and belly cut man. That thing was prime. So what I missed about pork,

right is I miss ham like the ham steaks. It's to the ham steak. They used to give me headaches after I ate them. What they used to be. That's way too much pork chops. That is probably number turkey chops something. To be honest, turkey chops kinda can get with pork chops. Not can turkey bacon kind of get with bacon, of course not. We're not gonna have that. But what I'm gonna tell you know, but I've tasted some fire turkey bacon. Yeah, me too, but it's just

not the same. You have to season it. And you know some people don't season their food. Well, you don't season bacon. You know what you see? Pork turkeys aren't worth a red set. You heard it here first. No, that's not true. I had turkey ribs and Pittsburgh and it was amazing. It was one of the most amazing. And it was only a Pittsburgh I ain't gonna lie. I haven't had him really good anywhere else but in Pittsburgh. You remember it was in Pittsburgh. I can't remember a

turkey rib. No, we was in Pittsburgh. Right, We've seen we've seen this one. We've seen Hayes and now shout out to Jay Hayes. But we was out there, my nigga, No, I remember you made me, uh damn never want to run out the goddamn place for eating the steak wrong. Didn't you ordered that a steakhouse? I remember that moment. Everybody just like what I was on a dating girls asked for sound. There's like for Condie from New York and then they can call me on front of the

whole steak. First off, we just at a steakhouse in Texas, and Texas right, and you know Texas got good steaks, just text, so listen. So we ordered steaks, right. I ordered him mistake because he's gonna order some like a tea bo I'm like, bro, don't order no te bone up in this myuck. I got you. So I ordered the man and steak. I got him a rear by. They was they was killer, so it was a cowboy bump on the end joint. It was fire right. So I'm like order mine. I'm like, yeah, let me do

Mine's medium. I said, what you when you said well done? I said, the order is well done. I'm gonna tell you why I ordered medium because I'm usually eating with a black person and I like them staring at my food and it makes me irritate myself comfortable. I get my steak medium, you got blood dripping down your lips and no matter what good. I went to a place called the Keg in Arizona and ordered the baseball steak and and they have it like the most stead cattle.

Oh that's that spot right there over by the beach. No, no, no, the Keg and and they have a baseball and it's like the most that they even let you cook. It is a medium rare all the way down to blue rare is the rarest. And I'm like, give me that last one. The blue it was exceptional. What's funny is I didn't know about a baseball steak to the Homi Alcatraz kept telling me that was his face. What's the baseball stake? Baseball steak is like a poor man's filet mignon. Okay,

I know that. I don't know if that's actually fair thing to say, but that's what it is. Tasting it, it's it's similar. It's it's a really really thick. Uh. It's almost like shape like a baseball. It's it's a it's lean, it's pretty tender, no fat. The joint that I first hand about it on training day and that spot by downtown I got one there depressed the specific dining car had a dining car. So it's like a knodded muscle. So what okay? So so um, yeah, I

won't eat steak without a bone or without fat. It's just not no flavor. It's no flavor. You get a lot of favor. But Spiritual was talking about. No, I don't know what you're talking about. It's all the same conversation. Um damn. So you ain't got nothing to say, Pete, I forgot what we were talking about. Really, you're the one came up with this baseball stay. Yeah, I thought we were diverting back to the original point, and that

seems to have slipt in my mind. You were talking faith and my faith in humanity, my faith in people, my faith that Yeah, yeah, we gave Yeah, we think. I think. I think worry about yourself. Yeah, I think. Yeah. That's I think, Pete, that's our bond, bro, like we kind of understand the world. Just I think, like you head silence, y'all, Like, well, y'all, ain't ship me. I'm like, all right, I still got to help him, y'all, Like just let him fall, Pete, Come on, Pete, you know

that's true. Yeah, probably true. I'm not spiritual people like everybody like to you know in our generation. Oh, I'm spiritual, but I'm not religious. And do you even know the difference? I don't give a funk about any of you know the difference of it. Then you know, white people, I know the difference. Yeah, has anything traumatic happened to you? Besides losing you know, a million dollars? That's traumatics? How do you guys? Asked the white man he lost pete,

how did you feel when you lost your first meal? Hey, that's traumatic? So from your own out every time we talked to another white person who episode? So, how does it feel when you lost your first meal? You lost your first million? The first things you want to really get down to it, it's like, what was your emotional reaction to your first I R s audit? You know?

Well so, but so that's that's ill though, like you like, through it all, I'm sure your faith with ship, Um, it wasn't shook in a negative way, you know what I'm saying, because like you said about the relationship with God, now, the relationship with God's spiritual is two different things to me, you know what I'm saying, Um, My relationship with God is one that people probably wouldn't even understand because, uh, if I believe if God could read your mind, then

you might as well say what's on it? You know what I'm saying? Das I like that. You know what I'm saying? You really like you know what I'm saying. So me and God we talked like we just if he really loves me, that he gonna understand the position. I mean when I'm cussing them out, He's gonna understand I'm really hurting. I'm really down and out and I'm really you know, but that's what love is. And if he's gonna be the rock that they have kind of like,

that's my that's my big homie. Oh God is abuse superior. You don't do right, He'll he'll knock you out here, you don't do right. So yeah, so for me, he's I look at Yeah, God is my big homie. We talk about anything. I get mad, I custom out, but then I go ahead and do what he tells me to do. I try to, you know what I'm saying. I know there's a ramifications, but with me and God, God knows I'm not perfect. The devil wasn't perfect, but God kicks it with him all the time right to

this day. I can't stand the mid Yeah. So yeah, and God protects the devil. They hold his son. God's the only one that that was the only one that actually betted with God over Joe. That's not but that's not My point is he's a homie to me, so I'm okay with I agree. So this is why I don't care. But this is why I have a problem right with Peter saying when because social media is the home of bad advice. It's bad advice usually about eyelashes,

the worst advice of my eyelashes. But but more than that, right is they have an expression that's going around and I heard a preacher using I followed this dope preacher. He's from d C. He's dope. But he said something, Well, if your friend is cool with somebody you're not cool with, then you need to watch him. He playing both sides. No, motherfucker, he don't got nothing to do with y'all. Ship. I hate that rule that everybody with you gotta be your

own enemies. No, bro, it depends on the circumstances. Now, right, if this person killed your mother Okay, we got something talking about. But if y'all arguing over because you lost the bed and now you're not cool with this, mother stopped putting me in the middle of your ship. And it's too much of this this bad advice going around

through social media. That's also why I want to make sure I talk to you, because I feel like it's a bunch of people talking that come up with these bullshit ass It would be a two dollar nigga with a ten dollar piece of advice that's gonna sunk over somebody's life trying to give him there too, sick like little nas first off, his two sisters canna off a lot of people. I don't think so. I think his situation is that ship working and white people like it.

You know, if I agree with that, I have to say I don't think that is really getting down with that because that ship just corny. It's not as good as it's not even about being gay. Some just corny and that ship just corny. He's a corn ball, like like I think that at first it was dope like he could he could, he can present it. He can say, well, now he can present it. It's such he could present it in a better way where it's like more about his life. But at this point it's just corny. It's

a joke. It's a game that everything. He used to be a troller like him. She was the first original job before he got he just thrust his whole life and I don't want to throw myself, so I can't. Really. I just think white people like that ship not not like Pete White, No, no, it's white people. The quote unquote and lights in the white liberal the love all the anything contrarian is because you're not liberal, not at That's another is I'm a liberal. I'm a liberal person,

but my views are so pure that I'm conservative. Think I've heard of that. I've heard that if you break it down by your views. I don't know why, but but people really think I'm just disconservative person. But it's just like as much as I don't care what you're doing, I need to make sure you know what you're doing. That's that if that makes sense, Like what that's that's a classical little perspective. I think the definition of liberal

last ten years changed dramatic. I think so too. The definitely something had changed in the last ten fifteen years. Racism is a simple concept that has been over rooted. It's the whole extra ship at this point. But that's a whole another story. So I said the same ship you just said. Though on everything, I'm like this nigga funk with this nigga? Man, why he fun with Satan? Yes, Man, That's how I know I'm not God. Bro that you women know how you know how? No I God? Because

i'd have been did something to that name. Well, that's how I know I am God, because God didn't do nothing to that nigga. So that's how I know I am because I look at that. Go ahead. Oh, I remember there being a podcast I heard. I might have heard it in this very studio and which somebody that I like was talking about lighting a car on fire and the name of God something like that. I'm very much I'm very much feel me. I'm one of God's

people to carry out his will. But I'm not cused because I would have been took off on Satan bit you ad long time and mocked him up. They would have talked about that story in the body I mocked us up all even if I didn't kill him, I would have been whooping his ass all through heaven, whooping his ass, stumping down and everywhere. Right now, what really just not about We're not gonna get We're not giving your choice. When you get children a choice, sometimes it's

too much for them. You can't give people who are ignorant too much power and free will because they don't know consequences of their choices. Children are really smarter than adults. We dumb them up. Satan doesn't give you a choice, shields you from the consequences of it. He provides you with haven from consequences. No, I think Satan is when it comes break down, because I know you know to hold up. No, this is important because I know he

knows this. On the spect from the consequence Specum, okay, so kick, how does Satan shield you from the other spectrum? I caught on the other spectrum. I am the spectrum. Everyone's on me. Look at his eyes. That's his cable comes. Everybody has a choice. You know, Satan doesn't give you the choice. You had the choice before Satan so to speak aware of Satan gives you a haven from the consequences of that choice. Oh, he gives you somebody to

blame or somewhere to go hide out. From the consequences. Under the umbrella of Satan's guard he gives you a safe a safe space to come to after you make your wrong choice. You're saying that he becomes an excuse. Like you said, he becomes the excuse for your bad as he said, even or the defense attorney. And that's not hold because, like I said, I had a white you know, attorney for a dad who was a defense

attorney for that. So growing up I look at like I said, yeah, So since we're talking about hold on, well, sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm glad we talked about Sometimes I did feel like the devil. Sometimes I did feel like Satan. And when I feel like I did something wrong, then it was stunt me from trying to do anything else because I would come down by myself so hard. You know that. I had to realize that even when I do something wrong, there's also a counter effect. There's

a balance. So if I do something wrong, there's a counter effect, that's something right is going to happen somewhere. You see what I'm saying. So I started looking at Satan the same way. When you do something wrong or what we think is wrong, something else happens. That's great, that's awesome, that's a good way. So I started looking in there that way, like, Okay, Satan, you're used here for a reason, because if we only knew right, then word would be the door for wrong. And then God

don't want us to come to him by force. He wants us to come by choice. So saying to me plays a very integral part, just like me, Just like me at times. This accident, it's gonna play horrific part in people's life. I cried when the accident first happened, not just for my family, not just for the other guy that died, but for the responders. They had to show up and see that. You know, like what do they feel? You know, like, I know some of them had to quit. When you've seen five kids, you know

you had to quit. That's horrific. And so I started feeling for them too. You don't like, Wow, this just doesn't hit me, what about them? I had the lady that came the police came to me. She came to the memorial just to help me how she felt when they told her to go to my girl's mom and tell him what happened. And so she had to come see me and tell me how she felt because I was the first she was a rookie, and that's the first thing that gave her. And she said it just

it sucked her up and changed her life. She did. She took pictures with I'm in my weed close and she took pictures with me in her uniform because it affected her that bad never never never be the same. It's like the first time I saw some my day that changed my life, you know. So it's like, so it just didn't affect me. This was so horrific that it's affected people in the state. So it was on Time magazine. They called me, I'm gonna be honest with you this stuff. I'm gonna be honest with you. And

I don't think I ever told you this. I thought it was impossible when you told me. I'm like, man, she just playing the game, like trying to be funny, trying to just you know, do something funny. It didn't even seem possible, you know. I was feeling. So here, here's what people don't know. You know what I'm saying. They don't know that hours already in Vegas. I flew back to see them guys off because she was driving. My girl was driving my daughter and my grand babies,

so they know. People don't know. I kissed them goodbye, you know. And then I was flying out in the morning to meet him back in Vegas. So that night I asked him, I said, you sure you want to leave at two now in the morning. And my girl told me, well, you know, if I stay, I won't leave early. I was like, yeah, you're right, you better go now and leave, you know what I'm saying. And I double think myself. But just before she left, she asked me something that just it just sux with me

to this day. She said, once you bring your son, take your son with you, you know, on the plane, and for me, you never know. It's the last day. And so I was like, no, he could ride with you guys. You know, I wish I would have took him, you know, but I said no he could. I was selfish, you know what I'm saying. I didn't want to go through all the big lines went on mane, and I said, no, he could ride with you. You know what I'm saying,

And is mom. I kissed them guys goodbye. And here's the part that I don't even know if I told you. But the next morning, you know, I talked to him. I talked to my girl. She hung up. About five minutes later, my phone rung. I picked it up, and I just heard like she she called you during the accident. The phone called me, and it was like and I'm like trying to talk, like hey, hey, hey, what's going on? You know, hey? Hey? I figured she but called me, and so I hung up. I tried to call back,

it went to voicemail. You know what I'm saying. So then I just went here about my day. Figured day driving an Oregon service is bad. I got on the plane, you know, first class, feeling it like, yeah, my family's coming down when I get off, they'll be coming into town. When I got you know, I smoke weed and take

weed with me on the planes and stuff. So when I got into Vegas, there was like police and people was at the front, you know, the plane opened up, police and stuff something like fuck, you know they coming for me? Yeah, they're coming down, Yeah for you. I'm thinking, like the weeds and ship. I got that, you know, so I'm thinking I'm flying in. I'm thinking that. But when they got they said can you come with us and stuff? And can you come to these back doors.

But everybody's looking strange, kind of like emotionless, like like yeah, they don't want to tell the woking at me, like but it's not like they're arresting me. Is something different. And then when they said, you know, like I'm gonna tell you. The first question I had when they told me there was like there was an accident and I was like okay, and they said nobody survived, and my thing was not one that was the biggest ass was like not one person survived, and that was the big

That was the first time. After that, it was just everybody helped me, you know, like everything got me a hotel room, they flew a friend down to come get me and drive me back, and everybody you know, pitched in and stuff, and so that kind of gave me the strength even though it was bullshit with that with

my family and stuff and their moms and stuff. But it was the friends and stuff, like I said, glasses and people like that that got me through this will hope and persevere and I don't want to let them guys down. We started something before the accident, and I don't have nothing but my word now, and so I just wanted to finish when we started. At least get that done. Yes, that's heavy, thank you for sharing that. Um. You know, but I'm supposed to be the example I

think of second chances of persevering. You know. Like I said, I'm a two time fellon bent to the state and the Feds. You know, I'm supposed to be counted out a long time ago. You know, I should never get out of prison, according to people, you know. So for me, my life is different, you know. And I was cracking a joke by little nas but I know if he could get away with the ship he do, then I know I'm gonna get away with the shift I do because my ship is right for no so for me,

almost some other ship. I want to empower. I want to empower people, really empower people to be who they could be without worrying about what others think. And for me, I'm past what others think because the pain. There's nothing nobody could say to me that could cause that pain. I fail because every day I wish to die, you see what I'm saying. So for me, it's nobody can tell me anything. I'm just gonna live my life until I'm gone. You know, I'm not gonna worry about when

is it going to happen. I'm just gonna keep living until I draw when did that happen? Like, I don't even know when that twenty was this year, three years ago, it would be three years, will be exactly three years August thirteen. It was a Friday, the thirteenth. It was all that. Yeah, And you know, I feel and I also feel bad because it was my cousin's birthday. So every year on the thirteenth he has to think about,

you know, losing his cousin. Look at you. You lost your family and you're thinking about your cousin because I mean, but that's what you're saying is that I'm coming. I'm definitely stronger because of my life than the average person. And this is the power of the talent that God gave me. So I'm going to use it and I'm going to Somebody told me that I'm greedy, and I said, no, I just tell you what I want. That you sound

just like me. I think I like him, might be kid with spirits, because you know, it's not about being greedy people people. You're only greedy when you don't share exactly. And I always you know, so if you share. You can never be greedy. Ever, I don't try to be rich not to share. I'm trying to be rich, so I can't share. That's it. So I laughed, like you call me greedy because I tell you what I want and if I if I like something, I want more of it. I'm not gonna be afraid to tell you

I want more something I like. And if that makes me gree, it's because you don't understand. You know. You told me something I posted and it was because of you. The one about you know, in business understanding the understanding the value that people value money differently, you know, And I learned that from you talk on what you're dealing with you that money value is different than everybody and poor people, rich people have a different view of it.

And I realized that everybody has a different view of everything because if money value is different than that means value could be on anything. Time you know, closed where you love Peter Peters a time minder. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So value. So I just switched money for money being the source of power to other things, to be in the source of power that has a value. When it's all love languages, right, you know what I'm

saying exactly. Money time. It is that everything money is just a representation of time because he took time to earn that money. Yeah, and you take time to spend it. Time. So you think it's impossible for there to be a guy or you just don't believe it. But I'll break you down on this one, Pete watching, I think it's impossible. I think it's probably. I think it's just I think it's human contrived and I really just don't care one or the other. Wait, pizza atheists. Wait, I'm sorry, I'm

new to the there's no atheists indifference atheists. Yeah, I mean I think that's the first to the most religious people walking. Yeah, thank you, Yeah, that's of course. Yeah, that's a farce. The atheist. Um the God. Do you believe in the God? Yes? I know I'm not him. You believe in the God? Yes? I do believe in higher power and I believe in the universe. Okay, that's more where I'm thinking. I believe God is when we say God, we natural link of when entity. Oh he's

omni press but that's how great to say. But other times we describe him as everything. So when I say God, to me, I don't look at God as just one person. I look at God's a collective energy of love. You know what I'm saying. If you can get everybody thinking a certain positive way, then you'll see the action of God take place a man, you see what I'm saying.

And so for me, when I say I believe in God, I said I believe in everybody's God because every religion got the truth in it, and the truth in every religion it's the love. Now the problem? Go ahead, sir, what's the truth in? What was it? Mormonism? Love? Love? Every religion is there's a lot of love and Mormonism yeah, but every religion. But also to based religion. But do you understand why the multiple wives things? Is that depends on so I can have more kids than they can

take care of them. Well, it's more for a man's when you said you want multi yeah, I want a bunch of women to take your all my kids because I want more kids. But I want he they love this show right today. I don't help over the top. I don't want like a life stour. I have like a husband and a wife, not in a sexual way, but as a contribution because I don't want to take care of all the chores you want. That's your fancy way saying the mad now, because I want her to

have like equal power and say something the household. I want her to help me. I made is lower than that's if you treat them that way, well, then she's gonna be a high paid made because I'm gonna pay her like something valuable, because she'll be like like she'll be an asset in my life. That's irreplaceable. I told a woman this week, I don't want one girlfriend, but I would want to so the two of them can

go out with each other and leave me the alone. Yes, please, it's actually not a horrible But but what's funny is, um, I was saying this to somebody. Too many women focused on being me, and MU came up with this, Actually, too many women focused on being his only instead of being his favorite. You know what I mean, Like it's a it's a um like you have to do things with me versus you should want to do things with me, And I think, let me make you want to do

things with me. There's that game. But I'm saying, if if people decided right, if women decided right that they were like I'm going to be because that like you're a woman could play. Oh he want to hang with his homeboys all the time? God understand why? Right? He wants to have some space and give me some time so I can go in the bathroom and retwist my hair without him looking at me. It's not it's not just that. It's women tend to not focus on being

liked as much as they focused on being loved. Yeah, women are They're like, I want to be loved. And it's like, well, so I noticed most people that be married for a long time, right, the the guy that they're dating, right, they love them, but a lot of times they don't like them. I can relate, totally relate, like there was a great exchange. It's a corny, stupid movie with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anderson called Breakup Up. My favorite. This is Norman Bates. So don't ever say

that that movie was corny. Who want? Why would I want to do dishes? You never do the dishes. Nobody wants to. It's like they're getting a big fight over the dishes. I don't want to have to tell I don't want to tell you to the dishes I want you to want to do the dishes. Why would I want to do dishes that some of a woman will say that is for sure something that I would say, Hell,

I don't even want to do them. Let's just knock them out real quick, right, or I mean, I'll do them just because I know nobody's asking because you said let's I'm just saying, like, I mean, if you want to, I mean, but if you want to help me, I want to watch a great point. Yeah, but but I'm saying again, yeah, they just don't focus on being like you said to be for all women. I'm not I'm

just saying that that was my point. I'm just saying it's okay, like you could make him love you, but also it would be in your benefit to be a likable person. Yes, that's all. Thanks for killing our entire potential to have a female audiences. They agree when everything I've told a women it's not about women, it's about men too, because they agree for for me, honestly, for me, they agree with me even when it applies to them for some reason, they think that it's crazy, but they

really be, Like, I get what you saying. G s Where to God, women get that. Rachel just said she thought you pictured you big, scary and all that. So that's why they agree with you. Because she said somebody is going around. I think we know who it is. She said, no, me and him. No, she thinks. She said somebody's going around saying I was kicking that we used to date and I was whipping their ass. Wow, that's heavy. Yeah, I just heard that. She said it

was in Hollywood. Christ Ye you feel what I'm saying. So, and she asked me, she was like, yo, have you you know I'm like, no, I haven't hit a woman yet. He said, yeah, that's not funny. I'm yeah. And I was like, I commend you. At least you're honest because because I haven't got into it with a woman that's

trying to sell your kids or your food. Is yeah, woman back kick her in the stomach harder, harder, because if she's trying to steer our food or our boat, I'm not gonna die if it's the end of the world. So I'm saying, I have never hit a woman yet. I haven't caught a woman a bitch yet, not to her face. So what she's saying that she was asking me, she was like. She was like, gee, well does that bother you? I'm like, yes, it bothers me, I said.

But what I've realized since two thousand nineteen was being a crip it allows space for misunderstanding and sometimes you could actually say some fun about me, like I beat up this woman I kicked I used to be kicking her ass in my space and business. That's okay. It provides a haven from consequences. Oh, here we go. That's the thing about cripping.