Conversations About Toxic Relationships

come ball Because I was already over the situation. I didn't want to have sex, and I was like, no, heck your ass out because you don't give me some like Rodney some baby boy. He said, rap you in front of your son? Just fine. So how many podcasts I've done so far? I've done three with her? Three? I did four. I did appear by myself you twice the first one, three times in the fourth one, and then I wanted to extra not did three extras from somebody else's podcast too, from Kim and then to one

from the cup check Pot. What made you want to do podcasts? Anyway? One day my friend has been doing it like a podcast for over like two years. Is about a relationship. She just came to me and was like, I want you to be on my podcast, and I was like, okay, I'm fine with that. And then when we got I was nervous like that. But when we got into it, I'm started talking. I started getting I'm like I could do this. I could talk to people

about how I'm feeling. And it actually was theraputic for me because I just got out of like an ad break up. Why was it bad? Um? I was with my daughter father freak levin years and throughout the course of the eleven years, um toxic, very toxic, like severely toxic. Both yeah, both, I started getting toxic, like it's toxic, start rubbing off on me. So I started doing m I'm not the victim me, So I started doing things out of my not my character. I told you a

little bit how how he is. You know what it is. So I'm gonna tell you about me because she FeelA be on my head. But that's not I'm a listener. I'm not a hearer, right, So if you tell me something, I don't react to how it makes me feel, right, right, that's not what I do. I listened to what you say and then I asked questions based off of what you're saying. Understandable hearing right, hearing. I say this all

the time. Hearing is like a bodily function. Everybody can hear if you're not deaf right, so you can act to how something makes you feel when you hear it. Listen. Listen is a skill, like I listen. That's my skill. So if you say something to me, I'm listening to you, and then I'm gonna ask questions based off me listening. Here most people don't listen. She's a heart like, that's just me. But we were both toxic because we were. First of all, we were young. What's the most toxic

thing that you did too? Said to him. Yeah, go to a club that he invited me to. He invited me to a club and his all his friends was out there. But but it was me because I'm the one that's not I started because I didn't have to go to the club doing that. But I went to the club with my feelings on my shoulder. And when I walk in the club, it's like women in front

of him. Mind you, he's smoking and with his friends or whatever, but it's women in front of him and they just dancing all on him, and my quick reaction was like, what the fuck, And that's what I did.

I did a reaction like that because I'm going off a pass hurt from what he did and I'm not over it, but but we're still together in a relationship, knowing I should have probably got out of the relationship because the past hurt was just like way too much to get over, and they just you know, when you try to forgive somebody and they keep doing the same thing over and over again, and you're just putting a

band aid on it. You're just suppressing it because you're not really over because how can you be over it when they keep doing the same thing over and over again, even though they're saying sorry, But you're the crazy one because you still say it in it. So I have to fight myself because I went in the club start acting the food. Both of us got kicked out, dragged out the club by security. I lost my shoes, my cousin lost her phone, was getting ready to fight these women.

Other dudes thought that he was trying to fight me, and they started trying to attack him because they thinking that they're trying to protect me, But it really was me I'm the one that's heard it. I started that. So you're just scared that whatever happened in the past was gonna happen with these new girls dancing on him. Um kia right, I'm assumed kill that you called him cheating he had a baby? Did y'all break up? Like?

Was it the kind of relationship where kid, y'all broke up, like y'all be on and off, where y'are not talking for a couple of days in the weeks and that kind of cheating or like literally y'all in a happy home and the first time we were um in a happy home. The second time we broke up for like a week and he got somebody pregnant. He got his ex pregnant. So now my daughter has a I was listening to you more where you said that was him? Is that something that's a big thing, like gon need

somebody dancing on your guy? Me personally, but she was younger at the time, So for me, I was in my my experiences to somebody else to the club with me. My experiences were relationships and things I've learned and been around my like guy cousins. After I got out of my relationship, I learned things and was able. I'm more able to understand things and look at at it from a different perspective than my mind at thirty two and thirty three. We have an understand of what we have

and I know women are gonna react. You know, men is going to react. So as long as it's not disrespectful. We know what we're doing and we know what it is, and we have this understanding because this is what we talked about prior to getting in the relationship or how we get down with each other. It's just certain things, no, but that doesn't mean what she believe in is not

right or wrong. You know, everybody has their own but now no, certain little things like and it also depends on dancing, like you know how they were dancing there away. Somebody can dance while you're in a relationship. That's too far, even though it's just dancing. She had on a white dress. The dress stopped like here. Does it matter though, because it's like, but the dress don't but her assholes out and it was all on his But does that really matter?

It's not really like it was just like I don't know, abody grinding my man? Are you invited me here? While we're not about to grind on my man. And then I don't think y'all just that's a bit much. Have some brandy, okay with somebody grinding on your dick, I don't know. I mean, I hope don't do it. Don't don't, don't try to go out, but don't. But would you even allow that to happen? I mean, I think my personality comes. I mean I've had girls grind on me

in the relationship. Like I don't think I looked at it nothing. I saw somebody dancing, but you was there by yourself or your woman was there? Did you invite your woman? Because I feel like because he invited me, he could have did that by yourself. You know what, you don't It's all different. A man, I'm gonna do certain things when any probably wasn't worth life. I probably wasn't worried about too much of the dancing I brought past.

I brought her to the It was a trigger for I brought that made you feel some type of way. No seilings, gl I got some really great people from a podcast that we started, uh Cocktails with Kia and Mahogany. Kia say hi, so everybody say Hi, So everybody, Okay, So what exactly is toxic? When you say that? Like, what does that really? Like? You know, there's a thousand words why you got a new song I'll called toxic and toxic? What actually is toxic? Like? What are we

saying it's toxic? Just so we have like a real conversation about whatever you think it is. Did you hear the lyrics song? I don't know if cheating is a toxic relationship, like that's what I'm saying. I don't think. I think cheating is pretty much nothing to do with toxic. That's like past toxic. I mean, that's not even toxic, Like your relationship is. You're not in a committed relationship

if somebody's cheating on you, So what's really disrespect? Cheating is not disrespect, that's past disrespect, you know, I mean that's toxic. Yeah, that's that's not even I don't I don't. I would like to believe cheating is not toxic. Like that's that's over. I mean, you you if somebody fucking somebody else, right, y'all pretty much got a real problem, that ain't y'all don't even have a relationship because at that at that point, you have violated the mutual agreement

of exclusivetivity the relationship. I understand now if we're saying toxic, we're talking about things that can pollute the relationship. Is a violation your relationship is pretty much if the thought was you're in a monogamous relationship, you're pat like cheating yourself, you fuck that up, right, So I'm saying what is toxic? Right? And no, I'm just saying we like what's toxic? And

like what's disrespectful? Like you know, verbal abuse, calling each other out each other names, calling calling the female a bit you know, even calling the man a nigga. And and this is daily just talking to each other like that. I think that's a toxic environmental being so um verbal, I mean it's basically toxic to me, is like, yeah, I'm not having any type of respect for each other. Like what if you grew up in situations right where that's just how you talk, Like, right, we all know somebody.

We are from the environments where we know women who call each other bitches and that's how they talk to each other. I talk like that. I'll come from the environment like I'm from l A. I'll come from that that what you wanna call it ghetto? I don't want to really say ghetto environments. Would you be offended if your dude called you his bitch, Like right now, he's not talking to you, right, but he talking to his boys and be like, hey, that's your bitch. Like, yeah,

that's my bitch. And they don't be speaking on my bitch. No, I don't get offended for that. That's all because I'm like about no sentlers, no sinners. If he calls you, if he walks up to you and be like, look, bitch, that's different. That's different. That's different. And I don't know why it's like that, but it's just like culturally, we grow up in space to where you know where certain terms can be endeared me terms like nigga and we talked,

that can be a term of endearment. You could feel the most love when somebody be like, oh that's my nigga. That's like the most love you could get in our coaching, right, I can get it. But I prefer my man not to do that, Like I prefer him not to do that, even though he don't mean it by any disrespect, like it like this my brighter die. That's my partner, like, that's my bitch, but I prefer for my men not

to So let me ask you a question. Let's say if y'all together somewhere right to you and cousins somewhere, and some dudes start talking to you crazy, he like getting that you foul over something like yeah, yeah, yeah, some some some something like he's talking crazy, and your nigga step up, like hold up, why so are you talking to my bit my nigga? Are you upset that he stood up for you later on what you talked

to him? Like yo, bro, Like yeah, I know you were standing enough for me, but you referenced me in that negative manner like where does it? Where will you be? Like, I'm okay with that. I wouldn't say anything at the moment, but I would be like baby um at home later in the car of babe dang thank you, but damn yeah, I probably would. But it's a certain okay. That all depends on what type of due you have exactly that, And I don't think you cannot change a dude talks

with his homeboys. Now, if you got like one of those little white collared dudes, you know, I don't know I don't even gonna SAYBOT be different or something. But when you got one of the I feel like, dude, that's that's that's how they talk. But I feel like anyone that is with me the way I represent who I am, wouldn't even say that. They would know they just wouldn't get a guy that talks like that basically because that's what you're gonna have to do because that's

how they talk. I wouldn't say I wouldn't get a guy like that because I'm more open now with experience, So um, I wouldn't say I wouldn't get with someone like that, but um, a simple conversation. But I feel like just how I would represent myself, then he probably wouldn't even feel like he would even have that slip his lips. Okay, So back to this dancing thing. So that's toxic because of you felt it was disrespectful, like

you here and it's girls dancing on you. I felt like it was toxic because it's like, you already know what we've been through, you are know what we're going through, and you invite me out somewhere and you want me to see this, and you know that he didn't want you to see, I don't know what he wanted. I don't know what. I don't know, but he invited me, and you knew I was coming to himself. Like you know what, like these girls are just dancing on me the man, right, and girls are dancing on me at

the club. Yeah, I'm just asking, right, because I don't I'm thinking about it, right, How would I feel if some girls dancing on me? Or if Brandy was dancing on something, girl on something? Dude? Right, I'm thinking about it, right? Could I be upset? Sure? What I feel is disrespectful? Maybe my feelings would feel that way. But then am I act? Like when people are at the club dancing, right? And I know how people dance. You're in an environment,

so it's not surprised, right. I don't think that the dancing was more of toxic. I think the reaction of what we did and what we were doing was toxic. When were fighting, we was actually fist fighting in the club. He pulled my pony's hil That's why security. How did that even start? Though? Like, how did you get we

got that far? Because we were just going at it going, I mean, so the girls dancing on him, he got all he got some girls around him, and I went over and I pushed everybody, why because that's just me. That was me back then, Like back then, that was me. Y' don't do that now. I don't know, not if I'm there, No, I don't know. I just pushed everybody, like what are y'all doing? Like, what's what's up? What's going on? Okay, let's say it's today right now that you don't have

the history of whatever, because was doing right? You just you got a new guy, right, and y'all cool? And he at the club and the girl backing it up on him, you know, juvenile back that ass up. Come on, and she working with some mash yeah cash, yeah, making Nia spin his last year. She backing it up on him, right, he dancing with her, They just partying. I probably wouldn't react as bad as I did with would you say something to him about it? Probably after what would that

conversation sound like? You just be jealous? Jealous, be just jealous, like what are you doing? Like why would you that warm here? But it wouldn't be the way that not happened. That was something toxic one oh one type of ship relationship. Yeah, the whole relationship was just done. It was being done, and we were just still holding on to each other. It's also different, if you know, you can look at

it different. If the man is just over there and minding his business and a woman come up, that's different, you know, and just started dancing on him. So what if he go ask a woman to dance? She might be thick, But why would you do that when I'm here? Because they're at a club. So at the point of going to a club is to dance with people? Is this because is this about when I'm like not there, whether you're there or not. Just listen, I get the

traditional ways that we think. Now I'm just thinking past those traditional kind of silly ways right where because we want to go to the club and take our significant other to the club and think everybody's supposed to be all lies on you. That's just dumb. How the fun would you go somewhere with all these bitches and I'm just looking at you. That's just crazy. That don't even make sense. That's just a bad idea from the start.

So yeah, because so this is right right now today, you know, we still have to talk because obviously I have a child with him. He's like I would never take any woman i'm with to the club every again in life. That's always because the horrible idea. Though I don't know why clubs are for single people, the worst type of human beings try to bring their relationship to the club. That's ship dumbboys and dude, I'm like, man,

that's the dumbest that's that's that's single life. Clubs are for single That's like, you bring your old lady to the strip club. She's killing the dream You're like, a strip club is about selling the dream of you sleeping with some woman that is super exotic about you. You know, you're dreaming of sleeping with this woman is super exotic and she wants you and you feeling a little bit better. Right,

It's all fantasy. Right, So if you and your old lady you already sucking the family stiff right when you step up in this smither You're right. So what I'm saying is right. What I'm saying is, once we unplugged from all of the bullshit, what are we really saying is toxic? Like, what's really disrespectful? Okay, disrespectful is some girl like you and want to give you her number, right, Okay, I can that that makes sense, right, Okay, you take

her number. That's disrespectful. Yeah, that's disrespect But I feel like toxic is the way you react to certain things, like how you react to it, like all the cusin, fighting, holland screaming, calling people off their names. When you got to get to that point in your relationship, I believe your relationship is toxic. Like, shoot, am I allowed to say blue face? Okay, blue face and her and that. I can't think of a girl named rock or something that that's toxic. One oh two one one one o

three the four. So that's toxic, y'all? Fighting in public? You're pulling out her hair, she got a ball spot in the bag, she knows that you sleep with your baby mama. Still that's toxic to me. That's beyond crazy. That don't even make sense. So you do you think your relationship is healthy when you're doing all that in public? I don't care if it's a pelic at home abuse, abuses, toxic national chains off each other neck, that's I think that situation. Blue facing, what's that the way they act?

I mean, I think it's a marketing to it, for sure. But I also think they'd be drunk. I think the problem is right, right, so we use these times right toxic right. Toxic is a real word that is not much to do with human beings, but we've implemented it into our world. But most of the time we act that way when we poisoned, right, And I think they're both poison I think something outside of just the trauma, right, because there's the trauma that's that's that kind of poison, right.

But then there's also most of all our problems and relationships come from drinking. Yeah, because we all be faded. We start making different decisions when you're drinking, right, Yeah, I mean you drinking and then also a person that just have I believe it can also happen without alcohol. You know, I used to be in a toxic relationship because this individual was toxic. They grew up in a toxicon when they were a child and they had to you know, they've seen their mother get beat on by

their stepdad. So as he became a man or whatever you want to call him, um, he had the choice of I'm not gonna do women like this, or I am gonna do women like this. I'm gonna be at the difference, And you don't have to be an alcoholic because that's what you grew up in, so sometimes you still toxic. There's ever a reason why a man should hit a one me, Like, do you think you say something that should probably get you slapped across your face?

I don't believe. And nobody putting their hands on nobody, no one either, I think the party. Who are you to feel that it's okay to put your hands on me? So I don't need to put my hands on you, and you don't need to put your hands on me. You don't think verbal abuse or like you disrespecting or

insulting somebody with what comes out of your mouth. Can let's say like, because I've always had a problem with this, Right, is the fact that witty people right, the fact that witty need more, the fact that witty people use their mental weapon, right, their brain to insult and made people feel lower, and they do it on purpose, right, And then they use their brain on purpose and then think somebody that's not as witty should have to take it because you have this is your skill set, your flex

Is you insulting or bullying somebody mentally, right versus somebody physically fucking you up because they can't match your wittiness. And that's why I don't think there's ever a reason why I say people shouldn't hit people. I won't. Did you sound like you disagree with that? Listen? I will punch a bit lights out. Damn Yeah, I'm not above anything. I'm not. I'm just saying I've never never happened to me, but I'm sure I will, and there's will be reas that.

What if she took off on me? A lot of people have a lot of people have been involding that. My mom, prime example. I grew up in a house where my mom had real hands. I watched her beat niggers upright because she had an attitude she can fight, so she beat niggers up. Shit, I can't let nobody with my ass. I got to let you know you can't whoop me. Now, I'm not going to respond physically

because somebody's verbally insulting me. But I'm also witty, right, so like I can match you with for with, But if you're picking on somebody who don't have the type of wit which a lot of guys are not as witty and as intelligent as women, and you bullying them verbally and they want to defend themselves. It may come with a physical stand. That happened to me, it happens to most people. Most people be saying some crazy Ship. I'm thinking they're supposed to just get it off, and

you're gonna make somebody look bad. You start talking about some nigger, telling him as dick little and trying to to grade him and Ship, I don't know if his solution is just leave. I'm not one of those people that say the solution all the time is just to leave. I think sometimes the fight consultition Ship because sometimes we don't have a true understanding of what's happening what I'm saying, Like if I'm talking to Mike Tyson and it's Mike Tyson.

Eventually I got to realize this's Mike Tyson. Now if I keep working with him, you feel me. I can't back on you heavyweight champion. You know you should have knew you could whoop me. But I'm talking Ship though I'm called him a little bit, y'all. You got a little list for you, blah blah blower, just that the third or just that the third, and then I think he's as a man because he's the champion, headweight champion

of the world, he's supposed to just take it. I understand what you're saying, but you know, for me personally, I don't. I just I don't want anyone feeling like they can put their hands on me. But I think that's the point, right, That's what I'm saying. I think as long as you don't verbally assault somebody, like it depends on what somebody's defending, I should be able to say whatever I want to know. So he's saying it like I'm responded, I'm responding. I'm responding. I can say

what I want you you cannot say people. That's that one thing I love about the streets. They teach you right off the rip. You cannot say what you want to say. Well, they don't think you're about to get into a fight. I'm always if you're gonna talk, be prepared to fight, and don't allow nobody to punk you. The same thing, because if you allow somebody to punk, they're gonna keep on punking, and then you got to show what you about. Yeah, I'm just not with I'm

not gonna lie. See I know everybody get on there. I never hear a woman. I won't never say that. I don't quite know. I can honestly say I've never hit a woman to this day, but ship tomorrow might bring something different to fire. Somebody, shut up? What does she like? Not get it? Though? You got me thinking like I wish you know, like you you'd be wishing you could talk a neg like yeah, but you but you know you can't. Man, So what you do is you start picking on them verbally. I've donet do stuff

like that. I haven't had to do stuff like that, but I get what you're saying. If you call a man a bit, he's gonna get mad. He probably supped to slap your ship up. At least if the first

time he's not supposed to trip. But if you like, if he ignored you the first time and then you like double down on it like little bitch, ask nigger, he eventually posed to probably show you to some degree he's not a bit chass nick because there's some confusion on who's the bitch and but what are you called putting your hands on a woman a bitch as no, I'm sorry, no, a man putting his hands on like really putting his hands on her like dude, you're a

whole man up over here. That's only if a man's putting his hands on you, just put your ass just just because the coffee, yeah, or the bed was made, Okay, Okay, because I don't think they're all relationships right where motherfucker's is getting bullied. Women are getting bullied because the food is not prepared, the coffee is that's a bit. He's a bully, right, But it's different if men are responding to you verbally assaulting them because you don't like something,

you hit him. Okay, you're hitting him to Its different Like if a woman slap me, I'm not gonna fighter. That's a woman punch. That's a woman hit. Slap me, cool, slap me. I'm gonna just block your ass. Right, you punched me with a closed fist. I'm gonna ask you, old up, what are you doing? Don't you know that I'm gonna beat you? Yeah, because he's walked around and knocked me, y'all, what did you throw a shot? Knock me? Yea? Now she thought she with my ass in the relationship

and it's all fun. Right. If I ever knocked something, imagine you knocking the out. How do you keep that relationship going after you, No, you wake him or he wake up? And ship and oh and oh and I that's why I see you knock something? How do you keep that relationship going? How do you think this nigg is gonna protect you? You You didn't knocked him out. That's why I'm not advocating for me and to hit women. That's not what I'm navicating. I would like to believe.

I would like to believe there's no reason, right. I would like to believe there are no reasons why people should have to fight. But I don't. The world I live in will not let that be true. Won't not this world. I don't get it. I guess when you break it down. And again, I don't want to sound like I'm advocated for me and fighting women being fighting women, fighting women. I'm just saying I know how ship can go, and it could be some ship, right, it can be

some ship. And I'm not fucking around right right, I feel to be whooping my ass around my now. I need to be asking you for money. How do you? How do I look you in the face? You look at him again, you're knocking cold like he's sleeping. You're just standing over you're just knocking my cold. Imagine that as a lady, you just knock your nigg out. You just standing over him, sleep cold like out. How do you recover? How do you look at him the next day like, oh, I just knocked at Give me some go,

get me some tea? Now, I said, now, now, now you're talking big ship. Give me give me all your buddy. That's sad, drop trulls godly thing. You never happened to me. I knock nobody else. I ain't man because I don't want to man such me. But you was fighting the nigga in the club. Was he fighting you? Or was he just really like, get your stupid ass and just man handling you. Because it's different somebody trying to funk

you up and somebody man handling you. He was man handling you, putting you by your tip, stupid push it and shove it in. Yeah, hear you know that about me? You know you know he already does. Okay, So what else is this list of rules that your nigga can't do? So your nigga can't dance with a girl while y'all at the club. I personally don't like cheating, like I don't like it, Like if we're not talking about you said, the nigga dancing at the club with a girl who

got a short skirt, big old ass putting her. Here we go, we on his waist. But it's not cheating, it's just dancing. I mean, that's like the oldsman in the club. I mean, and of course no number with him. But but since that's the situation, of course no number getting but giving out numbers that I'm okay. If my man want to buy women a drink, that's fine. What about liking pictures on Instagram? Oh hell no, I don't care. You could like whatever pictures you don't I don't It

don't bother me. I personally don't like it. I don't care, like I don't like it. Toxic really polluting your relationship? I feel like it's polluting. I don't know about toxic. Now, why would it pollute your relationship when you're doing it like assessively. Let's say he just followed all these thick bitches on Instagram just like their pictures. So what I will say is when you're not licking mind, but you're

liking their's that's what I feel like. It's if he likes all of y'alls, and what I can speak on that I can't Remega, that's your man pure. He in the bed like the picture y'all in the bed. See this happened to me, this true story. What happened Like literally, I used to be sleeping in the bed. Would be like four or five o'clock in the morning. I used to be sleep in the bed, knocked out, and I will roll over in the light on the phone will be just and I can look over and see your

on Instagram at five a m. What are you doing? Well? He has the what's his Instagram time? What's the Yeah, I don't about to say what our time, but it was like, yeah, what's the hours? What's his instagrams? Ain't know hours? It was just like what do you do? But see, okay, it might be different. It's different with different dudes. Like with this one, I knew exactly what he was doing, what was doing because this is how

he gets women. It's my Instagram liking the pictures. He started liking them, and then he started being at d M and the next thing you know, they following each other and the next thing you know, he's talking to him. This is how he gets women, so maybe it's different from me saying that about him. That's your experience and stuff, that's why you feel that's go that way. So I can't say that about every dude, but I just know my experience from that. So really, like the looking ship,

what that experience is that how you are currently? I don't really care about that. Well, you know, think a little deeper because if you're honest with yourself, you could really get somewhere. So really does that body a little bit? A little bit, just just a tad bit, not not as much, especially because you can't use that pass relationship into the next one. So I can't say, oh, he's doing the same thing, so that's what you're gonna do anyway. But I agree I shouldn't, but I kind of did.

But you know how that else but human being, Yeah, it's like you I'm already probab think they learned something about people because they was in this relationship. Is like, now you learned about that, right, that's it? But yeah, just a tabbit it really, don't you know? You learned about that individual and you also learned how to deal with whatever that's a situation may have been. What follow

girls on only fans. Oh, that means you have a whole account, right account supports our local he supports our local. He supports three or four of our local sex workers where he watches their videos on only fans. Is that toxic? That's almost like the same as having a chatter bait. It's like a strip club charter. It was called chatter bait. It's like going to a virtual strip club, so they're fully clothes or a club. It's even it's a strip

club mixing paint. It's a strip club mix with weren't right where you could I would imagine you see naked girls and then some neked girls having sex and they actually pay six nine a month like Hulu. Oh it's only six chasing that's a bit much. Is that? Is that toxic? That's not cheating? Is it? That's not cheating? It's toxic. It's toxic. Why I think it's like watching porn live poorns, watching porn toxic. No, keep whatever you feel, it's fine. You're gonna realize more people agree with you

than you could imagine about what you feel. That's the one thing about Okay, I feel like when you are paying to see naked ship I feel like that's toxic to me. Well, not toxic, just disrespect. I guess that's toxic, right, that's proluding your relationship because why are you paying to be on chatter bait and all that difference up? You're paying to see women when you're a woman is right next to you? What are you? What are you paying for it? Do you think that free? But do you

think that one woman? You think when somebody loves you, right, do you think that they lose their desire for everybody else? They don't? So then why does it Why would it really be? Why do you feel the need that Okay, he can't actually act like women exist or he can't be you know, now what are you actually doing on there? Are you actually just watching or are you actually indulging into it to like film chilming yourself? And no, he doesn't have an only fans. He subscribes to other girls

only fans. Let me not bring this, Let me leave that over there, okay, because that's not what I'm talking about, the only fans. Let me lead that over there. Oh that's but that isn't a weird question because because I'm thinking about chatter Bay, I think chatter Bay that when you have to pay for that too, and you see live porn, but you also have to put the camera on yourself too. Yeah, is that cheating if it's virtually done? I feel like it is. You're on the camera with

a woman that's on her camera. You guys are both nikki and you are jacking off. You're doing that's not okay. That is not okay, and you're paying for that subscription every month and your woman what if he sleeps with you too? Though? But he has fantasy of he has a fantasy of fantasy women. I think that that's a bit much. I can't. I think that because he was into something else, man will be man and you really

can't control. I think that that turns into something else, the virtual thing or that chatterbox stuff that's you know, No, that's the definitely not of of of the video of the man and the woman and y'all he possibly jacking off or whatever. No, that would you be jealous if you're we're not jealous? Is that toxic? If you're man like Jack's off the porn. No, he's a being aroused, that's why he's watching that. I'm sure you could be jealous. That makes sense. But I'm asking like, is that toxic?

Does that pollute your relationship? Do you? Okay? So this is the thing, right, I was gonna say this to you. The hardest part for women, and I think we said that, we talked about this before, is to confuse, right, The hardest part is to confuse like, um, you think me and cheat right because it's about you. You think it's you're not good enough or something about you. And the hardest part for women to come out of. And I blame me and somewhat forward for doing it. It's making

women feel like it's their fault. It's not. And I thought that for years, Right, it's not. It's nothing to do with you. It's actually he cheats because of himself. Hello, I agree to that. I told you told me that, But I always like something you're doing. It's not you can't suck big good enough, your pussy can't be good enough. It's not none of that because it's a personal conquest.

It's a personal accomplishment to sleep with a woman. Nothing to do with you, nothing, nothing, And that's just the reality. The realist part about all that ship is, you know, and there's some scumback niggas who will really make you feel like it's your fault. And then there's some mentally weak guys who will be like, oh, well, like okay, my girl that I'm in a relationship with is not giving no pussy, so I'm gonna get some pussy. Break up with the bitch man, you know what I'm saying,

break up with her. If you feel like your old lady ain't give me no pussy, break up with her. She ain't get no pussy. In to hear, break up with her. Why are you with her? He definitely, Yeah, I don't know. I mean, eventually something has to happen in our year is a long time, a very especially especially if if somebody is driven to do it and it's not happening. Listen, people being relationships and go without years without having sex because they're both you know, not

pressing a line or it's not really about that. But I'm saying, if the reason the man sleeps with another woman is not about what his woman, don't do that some nigga is really a thing that I'm gonna get my dick stuck because she'll suck my dick. That is just intellectually lazy and trash. So what is the reasoning behind it. Women makes you feel better about yourself, You feel accomplished, you feel special. What's crazy is right, out of all the niggas y'all sleep with somehow, the next

nigga don't feel like he got some special? Ain't that crazy? You give him some pussy? She got pussy. I'm special like you don't get them other niggas pussy repackaged it up and served it like it was a fresh new present. Another nigga is gonna put that bag on a pedestal, and I don't mean that. That sounds a lot more negative than sound that py got smiles and treat that

motherfucker like it's fresh off the line. That Well, niggas feel like that all the time, right, They feel like that even when they wish somebody right they A nigga could be with you, right and I love you to death, But if another woman want to give him some pussy, oh man, I must be all right? Okay, so right, so he feel like he conquered something, not even just conquered. It's it's you feel like what you feel like new money? You know what I'm keeping it? Being with you? Could

please keep a hole. The first time I had sex. The whole time, I couldn't believe it was happening. I could not believe this bitch was giving me no pussy. I could not. I was like, wow, I didn't even the first time I have sex, I didn't even come. It was like forty minutes. I was just so enamored that she was giving me some pussy. Right, that's my life where I went off. I was enamored, She's give

me some pussy. Even now, as an adult twenty some years later of getting pussy, they're still a moment where I'll be like, dad, she's gonna give me some fussy. Yes, it don't last, it don't last as long, it don't last forty minutes, it may last four seconds, but there's still a thing like she's gonna give me some pussy. I'm something we like. Men judged themselves based off somebody wanting to give him some pussy. You don't judge yourself

by the wife you have. Like jay Z listen to jay z raps he like beyond it's Beyonce's rich, got a little body. Hear me said, this country probably cooking the bed. And he's still like I cheated a couple because he's still Women still will validate show existence until you start finding things to replace them. But it's the

easiest sense of validation. I've had niggas right who like niggas will be talking ship, he's funny looking any of your hairline fund up, Like nigga bitch is still give me pussy though, and that be like the comeback hega, I'm good, so he feel like he good. This is how accomplished you feel when some woman wants to give

you pussy. You feel like like, oh, I'm something. I've said this another podcast where like it's niggas who will sleep trying to sleep with girls that I slept with because they feel like this is the quickest way to get my validation. Like, ah, we the same. She gave us both some pussy. They ain't gotta go to jail and fight niggas and not tell and shoot niggas and have a low rider and make it out of poverty and turn them to some rap ship and signed deals

and travel the country and doing the show. They don't got to do that long. Is this bitch who I slept with give him some pussy. I gotta be the same thing she gave me some pussy. And that's why you don't give your ship up. That's why you keep it to yourself. That's really the power of it. That's the best thing you can do. That's really the power of it. So when you like with your goud right that she was with he is there still a sense of validation that he gets when some girl wants to

give him some pussy. That's why he'd be so unhappy, because he'd be like, ship, whatever, somebody want to give me some pussy. It's not it it's super empowering. It's it's lazy. Don't let me wrong. Intellectually it's lazy. But you can't help it because it's fundamental, like you have to have value if some woman wants to give you pussy. I just really personally, what I think is y'all just

make horrible decisions. Listen to him though you this right here, These are the conversations that I had years ago when I first broke up with Max. I was around man like, so that's why my mental is so different. Like even like I probably get crazy. They probably would say, like, damn, that's crazy, she said that, But like okay, like who do you think you are? Jay Z cheesna be. That's what I'll be thinking, like who, who who do you

think you are? When people be like, oh my god, he cheated on me, I used to be the same way. I don't care who people being. You know, Mars, it's personal. You have to find it within yourself, and you have to find validation within yourself. It can't be for nobody else. Gotta be for yourself. You have to find jay Z got some money man all right, still a regular punk ass bitch. Still makes him feel accomplished, right, got all these plaques, plaques, got liquor, y'all have some of his liquor,

all this cristy shit. He accomplished. Got a lady, lady, they want some Grammys. This lady probably the greatest entertainer today, right the top Crim day, like Crim. And he's still messing around, not now, probably still right now, probably still right now, like hello, and he's still like yeah whatever for me? So again is one of those things that

don't have nothing to do with you. It's a personal insecurity that is a real simple solution to make yourself feel So do you think that you said you supposed to stay with a man that's doing that? I don't know, man, because I don't know's that's a really tough thought, you know what I mean? Like that that whole ship of cheating is a really tough thought. It depends on how does it really make you feel like you can't you can't stay in something and that continues to happen and

you really lose your yourself. You you know, you're depressed as having all this anxiety. This is making you feel like this, and then you have to do what's best for you to move on. Yeah, I don't I don't know. That's just a really tough thing. Like that's tough. And then if it's like you know you it's in your face too, like you know what's going on? Yeh see what I've also had this conversation and I've been thinking about this the difference between cheating and affairs. Men don't

usually get called cheating. Men get caught having affairs. If you actually just cheat, you'd be fine, right, and nobody finds out because cheating somebody, right, you wouldn't see that and she's at the house. If I just went and just knock somebody down, you would have no idea. The problem is when you build a relationship when you have an affair you start to have, you can look at the phone and see taxes back and forth for it for a few days. Okay, you are talking to this

best too much, right, see what I'm an advocate of. Right, and you get married and ship, and you're in the relationship and ship, I think you have to lose the

monitor of not paying for pussy. You actually probably need to go pay for some pussy at this point, because if you pay for some pussy, you're not find out in a relationship with the more problem, you were sick nick at this point you need to get if you got a relationship with if you have an affair with the prostitute of money, you need to break up with your wife because you are starving for attention from some

weird way or not. At this point, we got a problem, right, but to just get some pussy to feel validated, you feel me? Your woman all never know. You woman will never know. The problem is when you start to have a faish phone calls back and forth, blah blah blah, y'all, fucking y'all building a relationship. You got two girlfriends and two wives, nigga, So because the other woman got pregnant on the first time. So that's how that went. See that.

But see that's that's that's just rough because um, and then they'll condom like man, man, shea did and go down on the other way. That's like damn. I mean, she shouldn't happen. But man be cheating, like they could really trust the woman. Well, they cheat to where they can get caught. It's like, how are you gonna go down somebody else? And how are you gonna do it without a condom? That's just like nasty, Like that's just the men are nasty. I'm a women are too, but

this is just people are nasty. Uh yeah, nasty, not just man. I think they had to be having sex with somebody without a condom exactly, and they agree to it. Um. I don't know, man, I just think that, Um you really think about it. Everything is so subjective. It just depends on where you at at that time. I think. I think that's why the reason I ask you how you feel about that, because you know, on numerous occasions he always has told me, like you think you do.

Only woman in the world get you though, And I'm looking at him like probably not. But yeah, niggas will say, some sick ship shout out to couse, he's a sick nigger. He's super sick for that right the coach. Should I be hearing that? Niggas be said the girls like, dain't nobody else gonna want you? God damn you told her down. Ain't something. That's what he's saying, nobody don't want you with two kids? That was that was a lie. See

but but that's my point. That's sick. Niggas will say, some sick ship who says that, like, ain't nobody gonna won't you? Girl? Like, that's just sounds like some ship out the thirtiest. You wanted me, but I don't even like you anymore? An nobody wants you no more? Ugly, I only won't need you. He said that. He was like, shoot you you think you do only works to get you? Though she ain't nothing, Why are you taking this offense to it? She did ain't nothing. I used to be like, wow, sick,

just disrespectful beyond you know what's funny? I agree. I think the term disrespectful gets thrown around, but I think at that point, because they have certain lack of admiration for you to ms like I'm just gonna say anything he and he, but it's not a it's not as much of a representation of you as much as how

he values things right, it's him. He has issues. You know, when an individual have all of these behaviors as saying like you, no one will want you, or anything negative to try to bring you down, it's a reflection of themselves. And I just think like his childhood or whoever, not even him, we're not talking about him, just any individual. Whatever happened in the childhood effects you know, Like I'm like, Okay, who's that? What's crazy? Is? Right? Is? I know niggas

who really think like that? Like he really don't get me wrong. I do think I meet some girls who I know some girls I'll be like, you're gonna struggle to being a good relationship. But I always think you can get a shot. You can always get a shot. Every woman can always get a shot. Now are you

gonna be able to maintain the shot? Is different? Like I can see if somebody saying, girl, you ain't gonna be able to keep no good relationship because your attitude is sucked up, that's a little different than ain't nobody gonna want you. Everybody wants somebody women for sure they thirst trapped that ship out and slide to the picture of the photo shot. Put the Instagram up. It's some ni gonna come running the snapchat filters start putting that

shut up, and you start whatever it takes. Yeah, put the clevange out and ship think. It's just like, what's haadening? So somebody always gonna won't you. Somebody gonna always be in d MS. On that note, how to maintain a relationship. Now that's different. That's a whole different program. Right there, You felt like this is just crazy. Can't nobody think like this? That's what I thought. Oh, um, it's so

many Lord Jesus, um. I remember I remember when I don't know, we got into it, and um he sent me a picture of a girl that had graduated from UM school, from university and he sent me a picture of her and was like, um, and this is why you can't talk about her, because she got a degree and you don't. And I was like, god damn. I was like, okay. So he sent me the whole photo of the girl in the cap and gown and everything.

I'm like, okay, your point, what how did you all get into We got into it because I was just like I was talking ship and I was saying, like you telling him to like you ain't gonna never get nobody better than me. And I don't think I said that. I just was like I think I was on some other ship, like she ugly or something. I said like that she ugly. He was like, oh, at least she got a degree. Okay. He started defending the bench. Now,

he done that a lot of time. Wait a minute, wasn't this Pottner though, And you're saying that it was a girl that like, oh yeah, that's you can't talk about the kids mother. Goddamn, hey, it is with it. She never cheated on me. Yeah, it is what it is. And then, um, I remember I had bought like a I had least a BMW X one, like back in two thousand and fourteen. He said he hit me a picture like and that's why the bitch, I'm fucking gotta X three. Okay, he's super immature, super pa, Like what

the hell. And it sounds like just like one of my whole boys. I was. My homeboys wouldn't tell me that because they know I'll be on their as. That's why she got the ex straight, damn gouse, you're a sick nigga. Bro, who cares? He is a sick nigg I like that big already, Like I turned him. You know seeing this song, right, kid, you're gonna see the song get the cake? She got the street kidneys to be like this man is crazy here. Oh that was just sash. It was. It was. It's funny the most

toxic things somebody said to you, mahogany toxic. He was like, what it was like super polluted, kind of polluted your relationships where like it was hard for it to actually function correctly. Actually said this, um I'm trying to remember the exact words, um masako grass out because I couldn't recover from that. He was like, oh you kept thinking about what this? Wait a minute, he was like. He was like it was like he had whispered it in the restaurants. How you feel? He was like, oh my god,

what they I was like, Oh what happened? What did you say to them? What did you say? I need to know? Why would niggas ain't gonna sock you? Like that's some sick'nack my hockey of all people come ball that because I was already over the situation. I didn't want to have sex, and I was like no, oh no. I was like, you cannot touch my body ever, said your ass out because you don't give me some pussy like Rodney baby boy in front of your son, Like

what damn? I know how you reacted to Oh my god, yeah, I always you just say to me, okay, so wait a minute, you said. So y'all laying down and he's trying to get his fills on to get it cracking, and he was like, nigger, you could never have this no more. I was so sorry over the situation, and I was like I already told you we're not doing that anymore. And but y'all were still sleeping together. That

wasn't my fault. That was his choice. So um what that was that his choice because he wanted to come over and just spend a night okay whatever. Why would you say whatever if you have no intentions on giving him? No, it wasn't even like that easy. It was like no, no, no,

can I just come over there and just talked to you? Okay, okay to talk turned it just medding night and um like no, like no, And you know they got they feeling conack your glass out because and he said, because it really was like Rodney, so you're gonna just rape me in front of my son's that's not funny. It's funny now because you are right. But yeah, and it's so funny that you do know me because you said, Oh,

my guys, guys toxic guys handle rejection really bad. Like they handed rejection like Nigga, like Nigga's being cars if you'd be like, can I get your lemb like no, I got somebody fucking bit before. So that's why I'm really nice to people now, like, hey, how you doing, I'm great, thank you, thank you. They've been dogged out so long that they don't know how to deal. I mean, like so many people said no that they just feel like this is the only way they could get I've

never been like that. Is that why now guys don't really approached women anymore, because they feel like they don't want to reject it. It gets ego right now is more fragile than historically it's ever been. The mail because they've been they don't come up to you no more. They'd be like anyway, My facial expressions are very, very bad and you gotta go up to them, are you you know, I'll be trying to smile. Okay, So what's so, what's the most toxic thing you ever said to it? Okay, ship,

I know he'd asked me this. Yeah, I would like to know, because if you just trust me, it ain't usually one toxic motherfucker. It's usually too motherfucker trying to top each other all the time. And I did try to talk, what's the most toxic thing you ever said to him? Well, you knew you was thinking yourself like, damn, win't gonna never After he was like, I probably shouldn't have said that. Win't gonna never be the same way again. I'm good for being like, shut your bit ass up.

You're supposed to beat you up there and said it everyway said, but shut up with yourselup blood perfect and he's a crip, yep, are just supposed to find yourself. What's the most toxic thing you ever said to a guy? Obviously, I heard you called somebody some crazy and you definitely think you could saying what you want to say, So say it the most toxic thing I've ever said to man? I don't know. I can't really think right now, I'm not really disrespectful like that. See what I'm saying, You

gotta like bring it out. But um, and then because you just said that, due you should have said something. I'm glad you did say that because that would have been a fight. He was really already broke his hard. You already broke his hard. He hooked off the porch. Want your ass out because I mean, I guess I didn't. I don't. I didn't call the man a bit though. I didn't call a man a bit before y'all stopped doing that. I want you all to take this, not

that to get you killed. We will. I'll be seeing the fire in their eyes, like because they're looking like you are the bitch? Why would you call me? You like, not use a bit? Like but you have a vagina? Right? Why are you saying I have a vagina? Right? Right? It's a pretty I'm really I'm learning, like not to say that word. I'd be like, really, buddy, like, don't say that word here. So I'm not learning, I know, I'm more so, how many guys have you called a bitch?

Mogany different guys? More than one to really just off top literally one literally one that's toxic mm hmm. But we grow, we evolve, and so you know, you called two dudes bitches. That's it. I'm surprised it's only two. Yeah, I only been in two real relationships, both of the to me at that point. Good looking out for tuning into the No Sellers Podcast. Please do us a favorite, subscribe, rate, comment,

and share. This episode was recorded right here on the West coast of the USA and produced by my homeboy A King, for the Black Effect Podcast Network and I Heart Radio. Yeah, keep stepped