Conversations About Boundaries

Watch up and welcome back to another episode of No Sealers Podcast with your hosts now fuck that with your low glasses Malone. So tell me how would a tutorial work.

I mean any tutorial it's.

I mean they tell you what to do step by step, like.

You know they haven't in Cosmo too that you know, it'll be something like, yeah, how to pleasure your man, how to pleasure your.

Pleasure your man's lower region. I don't know, you know exactly yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know it would be like I can imagine, you know, be like step by step number one, oh ship, she's about to go down the line. Just it's you know, no, you do be numbered, like make sure that what they're warm, or you cup them, I mean cup them, make sure you gently.

So women read instructions. That's like in women's books Cosmo, Cosmo will have like how to give hand tutorious.

They would have they would have something yeah, or what would please your man or new things that you know, stuff like that.

How to what is that called peg?

That's just ridiculous. Don't know that. You're just.

He's a real g right there, because I don't even want listen.

I just found out what that was last week you just gave. But I can't believe they made a title for being gay. Listen, swing that back to you, just.

Because this makes me upset every time I think of it. I'm noting my man. Listen, my man's gonna fuck me. I'm not fucking him that type of ship. I'm not inserting anything into my man. I just don't don't feel right or comfortable, and I'm not going to do it. And it's cool if you like it that and you find someone that will love to do that to you. But I didn't even like strapping on and fucking my girl, So I'm definitely not gonna fuck up a man.

I told you I had to get excited the first time you did it. You thought you was like one of us.

I told you.

Let me tell you man, thank you jeez that you guys have that power, because I did not know what to do with that power.

That was a whole lot of you. Was like whoa, it was really exciting.

It was weird at one moment. At one point it was like oh ship, Like oh she liked that ship. But at the same time it was like, oh, like this is really weird.

What's crazy is when you see women doing it like you know, you've seen lesbian porn and shit, they have no stroke. Oh, they just be back there like a nigga, like like a like a seventeen sixteen year old boy, right, you know what I mean, just hunching on somebody like yeah, and then they be trying to look and it's like you gotta feel for it. You feel me, and you gotta have a feel for it's a feel for it. It's just weird.

Yeah, Yes, the rhythm, rhythm.

It's an underrated rhythm, and you gotta find it sometimes, like you have to really work your best on finding it, yep.

And if you can't, then that y'all are not a match because eventually, if you really, if y'all both really want to find that rhythm, you will. But if it's just like chaotic from the time you start to end and you still can't get it together, then it's just not y'all don't have that a chemistry.

So you think sex is the driving factor in the relationship, No.

I don't think that sex is overrated, but I agree with you. I think that sex is overrated because if you're giving me the things that I really really need and want. I'm that's like the sex is like the cherry on the top for me, Like I want, like if everything you doing everything nice, I'm just ooh, let's go. But I don't know. It's just a cherry on the top for me.

But it's not the driving well because like right when you become when you get with somebody like you start figuring out more ways to be intimate with them. It don't just become reduced down to like it's weird. Because I was talking to the homegirl Nia the other day and she was saying it like she was like, yeah, you know, don't nobody got no business. Don't know, woman got no business doing wifely duties for somebody that's not their husband. And I'm like, well, what's wifey duty? She

Yeah it wasn't.

I think that they think like it's not as much work, but honestly, you're giving yourself to someone.

It should be the.

Old But I think they're thinking of it as working, like I'm doing all this work for what You're not, My dude, Like you're not my husband.

Yeah, but it's really that's like I'm saying, it's changing a tire work if you've been changing tires your whole life, Like, I don't feel like changing a tire is work. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. I don't feel like that. I don't feel like taking out the trash.

You're giving too much like I'm doing all of this I'm giving, you know.

I think that's what I think. That's what's wrong with their minds, right, I think their minds are messed up. Because if you think cooking a meal is more work than giving up your physical and soulful energy and experience, you are severely fucked up. And I know that we severely fucked up until time.

You know, do y'all always what I always say, I hate it here. I always say that because everything to me is just ass backwards. Everything is just like what is going on? I can't deal with it. And sometimes that's probably why, like I just hang out with y'all and I don't really go on social media stuff like that, because I feel like once I go on social media, yeah, the whole energy just shift. My damn, because I wouldn't even know any of that was going on to fight and go look or be you.

Know, we had a dope. I had a conversation with Sallas earlier today and I was telling him shout out to Salas whatever, gulse, but I was telling him, like some fun facts about content, and it's important that we're talking about this. One day of social media is the equivalent you take in enough, you taking enough content as four real days. Oh wow, think about it. On social media. You can see three motherfuckers die, you can see a motherfucker get raped. You can see a shark eater person.

Anything because that you get carried away.

I know, I've been on social media and I look up and it's been like two hours. So that's why I'm like, I can't even you're just scrolling. You're just on it, and that's just idle time, like you could be doing something else.

So yeah, it's and it's crazy because they say you have to really be involved with it. But at the same time, if you're not putting in the work as far as like he said, working like the content and doing the things that you need to do, it's just like, Okay, you're not doing it. It don't work.

No ceilings, Yeah, ceilings, bread, what's adding that Red was adding? I got you all in on the off day because it's gonna be crazy trying to create all its content. It's goin to be next level. So thank you all for working with my schedule.

Man.

I really want to pick it up, you know what I mean, Like my leg was hurt half of the year. It's like I gotta can start controlling. I gotta start controlling the swelling because it's going to I think at this point it's going to swell forever. Really like not all the time. But I think certain things is just gonna make it swell.

It's like when you you have too much salt in your ankle, swell up.

Yeah, but oh yeah, I just want to tell you diet.

Well I've been I've been eating one time a day, like even my in and out. I had a flying Yes, a flying Dutchman is the onion, the grill onion topping autumn.

Yeah, how how was you eating and holding it?

Now? You just hold it like a burger.

You have to be careful of that g because inflammation comes from like salt and like sugar and stuff like that. So although you didn't have the carbs or whatnot, you still are like that meat.

The white people don't use no sighing.

In and out BM meat, it's.

In and out. Do not see?

How much water are you drinking?

A gallon a day?

Okay?

Well I drink roughly. I drink roughly. I drink roughly eighteen ounces every hour. So if I'm up ten hours, I end up taking in one hundred and eighty ounces of water, which is a gallon.

So how you feel like on that? Like, how's that been going?

I lost more than twenty pounds? You know what. It gives me greater focus. Like I hear people refer to it as like an intermittent fasting. But honestly, I think I told you this. I read it in a book that Elijah Muhammad wrote called How To Eat to Live All. Like my older brother, my older Cam, this is my brother since I've been before I start rapping, you know what I mean. And his younger brother, YB. That's my little brother. And if you see these niggas, these niggas

When I seen him, his skin was glowing.

It was like wow, yeah, oh yeah, his freaking skin is amazing.

That nigga might be ninety seven.

No, he is not that old.

I tell you. The nigga looked like he's thirty. So yeah, they they made me read this book and they're the niggas that broke me off, pork. I made a bet with them that you know, I didn't grow up Muslim, right. I grew up roughly Christian, not primarily because nobody took us to church. But you know, if you're an American, you pretty much standard come with Christian values and they were telling me in the book and the Bible. They was like, yo, you're not supposed to eat pork. It

Because listen, they're not stating it. And now I'm all that I wasn't. I didn't eat red meat for a long as time, and then when the pandemic hit, it was bored. It was bored. We started looking at the recipes. Me agent was making food every day like everything, Oh, we're gonna try it is tonight. Hey. We had fun. People was hating. We had a lot of fun doing the pandemic.

We didn't well because you really get to see who you like and who you didn't like.

We got to be we knew what we always.

Know what I'm saying, but you really get to see how much you like somebody.

That's so true.

It's just you and them, and you get to see if you can exist. The pandemic broke a lot of.

That's that's how That's how.

Me and my man got so close because we were together all the time, that's right. So it was like, okay, wow, I think our first was your birthday when we went during the pandemic where we actually it's like fixed with people and we were still scared, but we still we was like we were like that we a airbnb and we just had a good time and wee it was good. It was it was nice.

So I wanted to talk to you about boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

Talk about this, talk about it.

I was looking at some shit social media and they were talking about boundaries between like a couple. I think they were married, and I'm like, I thought that was just so crazy to have a boundary between married couples. And I'm like, well, you know, if you think of the kind of the the idea behind boundaries using them in like this human space that we use them in, it would to it would signify that the properties are different, right, it would signify that there were two separate sets of

Okay, wait, so let's go into the actual what they say boundaries a line that marks the limits of an area, a divided line, or a limit of a subject. So yeah, line that marks the limits of an area.

Yeah, it's like properties.

So boundaries in a marriage, I.

Mean, so personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships.

Oh yeah, but that don't make sense. Like this is one of those things that I'm saying, our conflicting ideas to the general concept.

Of being in a relationship or being married.

What's a lot of things like that, you know what I mean, we're talking about this one specifically, Like how do you have personal boundaries in a true marriage or relationship? Like the point is you become one.

Okay, I know you can become one, but that don't mean you lose yourself though.

G I think the point is to submerge yourself into someone else. I think that's the point of the merger itself.

Maybe that's why I ain't fucking married. I gotta submerge myself.

Well, I think that's the point of it, right.

Asking is that where I'm what I'm missing? I gotta submerge myself. You were getting ready to tell him something. You let him switch you what you were going to say? You got me drinking? I p A. I will never drink.

I p A's first, it's not like a beer.

It's well we're trying a beer. It's an actual it's a banana, I pa, that's why I want to try it.

Oh yeah, somebody say, I don't remember now.

Just because Okay, so this is what you were saying. You were saying something about, you know, personal boundaries in a relationship.

So I don't lose yourself.

Yeah, you don't want to lose yourself.

I think the point of a relationship or a marriage is to lose yourself.

Okay, So I'm gonna tell you this, and you tell me if that means. I don't really know, so my I just give this example. So my grandparents, right, my grandpa's a really like laid back, chill dude, don't really like to go out of like that. My grandmother was more of like she liked to travels, you know, stuff like that, but she always maintained the household, do the things that he liked, like makes his favorite meals or whatever.

That's not really a boundary.

Though, But I'm just saying, but it was separate lives, though.

The boundary would be like, okay, so when she's out, okay, well, personal boundary against them.

Okay.

So I guess if she's out and she's entertaining someone else or that's that's.

Not a personal boundary, And that's what I'm saying. Well, that's my point.

I'd be like, don't come in the bathroom when I'm using the bathroom because I need.

My Oh well, then that's a fucking boundary, think you know. Okay, I'm sorry. I was so like I said, I p a. I apologize, y'all who is listening, I apologize, But no, no, that's a fucking boundary. Don't come in the bathroom when I'm in the bathroom, bro, I don't come in the bathroom when you're in the bathroom.

That's like you're like nine, No, it's I always think that's the worst like perspective of a comis. I didn't do that to you, nigga, I did it to you. You're not me.

I mean I don't.

I don't want to. I don't want to, you know, ship while you're in the bathroom.

I don't want to do that.

He's putting your vagina in his mouth.

My space to have my own time to do that with you around, you know, I don't know.

So let me get this. Obviously, we're not talking about him coming and sitting there and talk to you.

Because but there's where they want to come.

Let's not talk to you while you're trying to get out.

I've done that, though.

I want to go talk to you, you know, I want to come in there while you're taking a douce. I'm not coming in there while my dude is taking the duce to talk about that. It's something that I need to explain him because he's about to jump in the shower after or something.

I mean being that if he crossed that boundary, Are you gonna break up with him?

No, I've never I'm not gonna break it with him because of it's a human.

You gotta ship. There's boundaries with money?

Is there really boundaries with money?

I mean there there are some situations where you know it's like, Okay, this.

Is my account.

That's not a bound like, don't touch my account. But I think we're having situations where we're trying to coexist in spaces that we're supposed to.

They're seeing like, like I said, they say, personal boundaries are rules ourselves within relationship. Yes, you don't.

You really don't, Like you're not in a relationship.

Person, How do you have a rule?

What what rule do you have in your relationship?

I don't have a rule.

Do you not have a rule? Okay?

I don't know what you mean. Okay, Like, okay, I give a rule, like okay, if I go out, I ain't supposed to be coming in, like the fucking son should not be beating me? Like the fuck that's what you But I'm saying, I don't have.

Rules, Like I was talking. Rule, That's what I said. I was talking to somebody was like, well, my boundary if somebody is not cheating, that's a.

Part of a relation.

I know what dislikes and likes.

Are not cheating. My boundaries are not cheating.

I was like that. I was like, okay, I think that goes against the consensus of a relations relationship, of a committed situation. So is that really a boundary? Like, well, you know sometimes you know some girls, I'm like, I don't think no girls like people cheating.

There could be sexual boundaries.

There could be you know, boundaries where like you know, the woman she doesn't want anal sex. You know there's a boundary I don't or you know, for a man even though you should know.

But that's what I'm saying.

Where we're at.

Now, no, so you might have to think, but you know, you think about it. Where we're at right now, you may.

Have to tell.

So you have person you're in.

A relationship, don't touch my ass because may.

Don't want yeah, or some crazy shit like you know you know that your women like women before she's by, but yeah, you want to try to make it to where you want a threesome.

It's not a bound like I'm saying.

It happens, that's not but that's.

Not I think we're in this weird space we are to where it's like some of this ship is ridiculous, Like come on, like listen, I bounded, Like what kind of boundary?

I don't honestly, I can't really think of a boundary like that. I just like I said, like, you know, when you're with someone what they like and dislike or whatever like that, You know what I mean? So I mean you just try most times.

I mean you can have a boundary if I mean, you're not living with the person you guys are dating, and you're saying, you know.

Exactly, don't pop up my house for setting that boundary right there. Yeah, you don't know, like it said this personal don't come out, don't look hey, listen, whatever your personal rules are.

That So then at that point, you're not trying to become one? Why do you want a relationship at that point? Is it just for your time?

Like?

Is it just for your enjoyment when you feel like being bothered?

Right? And most of the time when that that's yeah, when you you don't think about that. But when you think about it now you're like, did I fucking did I want a relationship?

I'm telling you no, don't show up here, no, don't come more.

I'm mad, you know, you know stuff.

Like now I don't care, come.

No. But I'm saying like, at that point, how are you trying to become one by still becoming yourself? Like what's the And I think this is all part of the same ship, right, Like I think everybody's playing to lose You mean by that, it's like that's why you're scared to lose yourself. You like, well, if I lose myself if we felt, if we don't work, then I lost my.

Son and I lost myself.

How could you lose yourself? Like, if you really want to be a wife, you could never lose yourself. How could you? Like, how is that possible? Like is this the goal? Like who goes into the game and doesn't shoot be cause they're like, oh, you know what, I might not make it, you know what I'm saying, or let me let me you know, you don't focus on your follow through, so you shoot the shot and you you're so busy trying to chase the rebound that you did miss the damn shot on purpose trying to get

No, you're right, so you're right, Like I'm not.

Like some kind of I don't like when no seller's go into relationships. But I just was thinking about boundaries and I was like like, yo, what's the fear? Like these are really simple rules. I remember I was on Live and I was telling the girls like, yeah, well, just don't put out She's like, ain't nobody gonna wait? I'm like the wrong people not gonna wait.

Yeah, I wouldn't, I wilsh I definitely wouldn't worry about like that situation like that, Like if I don't want to fuck on you and you want to hang out, if you want to hang out, we're gonna hang out. And if not, you want some other shit, then whatever. But you're not gonna make me feel any type of way because I don't want to give you no vagina. You can go over there, but I don't girls that will give you.

But I don't think nobody who really want to fuck with you that would matter.

That's why I don't care.

I think you'll start really filtering. We had this conversation about again bringing it back. Attention and connection. There used to be exclusive agents of care, you know what I mean. Like if somebody paid attention, you knew they cared about you. If somebody connected with you, you knew they cared about you. And that is far gone. It's it's attention and connection are literally like McDonald's. They on every corner, so eventually where down and you're not even eating food no more.

Right, So you can reach everybody anytime.

Entirely to accession.

Remember before you would see somebody at a spot somewhere. Remember you see somebody, and then if you didn't see them at the next spot or somewhere, you wouldn't see them no more. Now you can find them on social media. If you don't even know they handler, you can search the event that they were at and you might see a picture.

That she or you might know a nigga that she was with, that he was with, and.

It's right there, bam now in your DM, like damn, I saw you the other night, And.

So at that point, that's what I'm saying. It's like all of these things, like even that concept like if somebody just want to fuck on you, they don't really just fuck.

With you, right, they just yeah, they just.

Want you become serviceable, not only me wrong. You can get them some pussy and they could fuck with you later. But most likely, like we had this conversation, men used to get married just to have consistent pussy, like pussy would soul like rare, you know what I mean, and scoured after it was special, you know what I mean. You either was gonna marry a bitch or pay a prostitute, you know what I'm saying. That was it, and now

Yeah, So the.

Way I can treat my body versus the way you should treat your body, I don't care what nobody preached. The way we treat our bodies should be completely different. Look, your body is completely different and special. This motherfucker is nothing. It's meant to be beat up on. It's meant to put three hundred pounds on shoulders. It's meant to just busting up and keep on moving and not y'all. Shit

Wow.

Yeah, you just treat it like ship. Yeah, you just treat it like shit. And it's like, I'm not complimenting you by saying you greater. I mean, I guess that's a compliment if it matters to be greater or lesser than somebody, But I'm saying your responsibility on the planet Earth it's more important.

It is.

Yeah, I mean, it takes both of us to make a child an inception, but all we could do an inception is make a child, and then you have to do ten months of the fucking work. So if you treat your body like I treat minds, we got a problem. I mean, it's one thing to treat the interior of this car. Certain, it's another thing to fuck with the engine or the transmission or that we're in or any

Just you just put it out there and it's very.

Real.

You know.

You know why they get you know why they get nobody pregnant because I think, like other colors in the in the in the world, like if I got you pregnant, we getting married because I'll be damn you fuck up my kid. M you know what I'm saying. I'm not gonna let you do that. We're gonna get me a doner. Fuck. We don't even love each other, just like anybody else, you know what I mean. We're gonna make this work

My girls that have little girls. I always say that that's their mini means, and I always say I'm so happy I to have them mini me.

And even when they say that, they be thinking, they be just like this motherfucker. Because mostly you watch people try to discipline themselves out of their children. That's the fucking funniest shit they trying. People be trying to discipline themselves out of their children, and you be just looking and they be like this, motherfucking I be looking like this, motherfucker. You you motherfucker, You know what I mean? And they never see that like that. They never see it like that.

It just make people boundaries in the relationship.

Yeah, that's like that goes against the concept of a committed relationship. It goes against the concept of a marriage.

So is that I guess that's where you set boundaries during dating.

But at that point are you really setting boundaries? I guess you could, yeah, because because you're a separate person.

Saying okay, this is what this is what I want, and then you everybody has a decision to decide I want to.

Move forward like with this relationship or.

We're dating to talk to see if we want to.

But what what what boundaries if you're if you're dating or courting correctly right, because those are two different, but I guess we interchange to use them. If you're like what would be a boundary in dating?

There's a lot like what like what like A just said, don't pop up in my house?

If somebody here dating and courting, do they pop up at your house?

You don't know? There's motherfuckers that probably was in the neighborhood.

They're not eve gonna know where I live. If I'm dating, you would.

Think like why do people know what? You know? Where you live.

Is a boundary.

But this is my point, we're getting out of fucking like, why the fuck would you be telling somebody that not pop up at your house? If you if you don't trust them enough to not pop up you out. Why the fuck would you tell them where you live.

Hey, I'm just saying, you know, but the point.

I can't give you a gun. I can't give you a gun.

Don't you might, that's what.

That's okay, walk down the.

Streets, fuck up. They might fuck up. Like you might say most of the time, like let's just go back whenever somewhere where I'm at.

What an event?

Well, you can't say that because anybody can go to an event. A flyer is a flyer, even know you were there.

That shouldn't be a boundary that you said, I want to like you say that to people like.

Hey, don't I'm not going to say that, like you don't pop up at the I'm not going to say that.

But would a boundary be like let me know if you're coming.

No, that's not even a boundary because you would want to know that too. I was about saying, what if someone said some shit like you know, like who is that they seeing you out and they like ask you questions ship.

And you're saying you're saying, I mean and you know what, I have actually been with somebody and I have said, don't ask me no question.

Ship, Yah man, you told him no.

I mean when somebody I was dating that's X, tell man that you can't.

They want to know. They want to know girl, and I'm finding this out.

They want to know.

He wasn't gonna ask me about it.

I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna take you.

Maybe he's super interested then and invested in right y'all be in courting for six months and you see him hugging and kissing some girl, You're not like, who is that?

You're definitely asking who the fuck is that? How you doing?

So I'm saying, are boundaries rooted in insecurities or boundaries rooted in the fact of Are they rooted in securities or they rooted in trauma? Like why do you I think they're rooted in trauma like a failure. But again, it's like who goes up taking shots worried about missing? Like if you missed the first seven shots, but then you might go ten for twenty you feel me like

And that's why getting back out there dating was like big for you know, that.

Was big for her.

That was that was big for.

Me because you was traumatized.

I was very traumatized. I talked about it. You laughed at me when I almost cried on this Like.

I definitely laughed, but I didn't laugh at you, like I didn't laugh at your pain.

It's just like I know you like you.

You got it well because it was just because laughing.

It's not laughing at I wasn't like cackle. It wasn't like laughing. But it was just surprising that terminator actually have emotions.

To have feelings and emotion.

Brit is the fucking terminator.

Listen, let me tell you if.

I want to fuck on a nigga, I want to funk on the nigga.

No this, brit even though you guys even knowing six point long time, this bridge is different from when we first met.

Six points different than brid two point.

Oh, very very rich. I can't wait for ten because y'all not ready.

Let me ask you a question. If all the software updates rooted in progress and evolution or they rooted in trauma to where you literally gonna get in your way of operating properly.

Okay, so I've left that trauma alone, Like that's why?

What was the trauma you left alone?

It's a lot of different things. Give me too, but that's a whole show.

Well give me, give me too.

I have a lot of trauma, man, Like, what's the worst.

Thing that you feel like happened to you with a guy? He was like, I cannot believe this happened to me. That's that was so unique within the landscape of motherfucker's Dayton that you ain't seen a movie, TV show or nothing that the same shit happened into someone. So then why the fuck would you be trauma traumatized on things that's happening in traumatized?

It hurt me, like the person, the person I was in love with. I gave my you know everything too what happened, But.

Speak it out, let it, Okay. I know it's already released.

I mean it's been released, but I don't know. I just had a lot of trust issues. I feel like a lot of the well not even a lot of them, because I haven't had many relationships, but the relationships that I did have, Like, I just feel like.

Was that the one you was telling me where you went to the club and the girls at the club with him and he was at the club with the.

Girl and oh shit, that was yeah he was there. Yeah that was one. That's the same one.

That's serious.

But this is my point, like right, and this is what I'll be telling Red, because why are you taking your funky ass to the club In a relationship, Like some of this ship, we have to get to a space to where we stopped being, we stopped wanting it all, we choose and again part of the.

Relationship. So maybe that's a boundary and rule for you.

It's not a boundary or rule.

I'm just saying that's for you because you're saying.

I'm asking you, why would you go to a place people strangers?

Bro?

You can hang out a thousand people, Like why would you go to Hell to watch a football game? Bro? They have a thousand fucking other places that.

You don't dream, You don't party like that, you don't, I.

Guess guess why guess fucking why, that's guess why, guess why you make bad decisions on top of bad decisions, Why the fu?

You may go for a birth like right now, we don't club at all, so if you do, it's for we're celebrating Christ.

Like drinking is not some kind of fun even talking about it. But you missing.

Celebrate a birthday.

If you hit me.

As a grown ass man, I'm not having no fucking birthday party clubs. You're missing the point because you're so busy defending something you hold on to that's cast nothing but trauma in your life. The club has literally been the place of nothing but traumatic. Experience is whether you understand you poison yourself in there and meet strangers and throw your life away.

Well, I don't really hook up with guys from clubs.

Of course, you know, we don't all the time.

Of course you have.

You're not being a relationship with anybody, but.

You have literally gave yourself away to people you met at the club.

I never actually hooked up with anybody.

No, you've never met, no knowing. But you missing a point because okay, you're right, you're not. I have met I have met guy and then y'all hung out. That's not the point. Again, Again, you're missing the point of the fact, right. The fact is it wasn't.

But I knew that they were not the relationship type of person that I wanted to be with because I met them in the club.

I never would have.

Yeah, but you don't. But you don't understand what happens, right, What happens in that situation is now when you finding me the decent guy, you start comparing them to the fucked up niggas you had before.

No, yes, not comparing nobody. That's that has been my growth. No, I used to I don't compare any.

Stop argument for two seconds, I know, but just listen to these hardcore facts. Just these are facts. One, yes, you have you both met people in the club and games and pussy problem to one that you're missing a point. You're missing the point of things that I'm telling you. Why a club causes trauma. It's a traumatizing thing that we have normalized into a space that we think is fun. That's why you have to poison yourself to do it. Drinking is poisoning yourself. I'm not knocking alcohol.

Like everybody to drinks, but.

You're missing a point drink, just like just like everybody don't go to the crack spot to buy a crack, but most people buying crack. I used to go hang out at the crackspot with Miamis. But it's a crack spot, right, So I'm not knocking you, right, Listen to what I'm saying. You literally go to a place you poison yourself to enhance having like it's so you don't have a conscious about the things going on, right, that's the point of it. It's for people and strangers to meet. That's the that's

It's not fun anymore.

I made money. I made money, I have my child, my lifelong friends. But it's trauma, jail, people going to you know, getting shot at, friends getting shot, friends going to prison, friends dying right fucking there. So I am not confused on it. So I don't go there with the mentality of I understand what it represents, and when I go there, I go there for that person. It's like I don't go to soul for new I don't

I can't believe that people are really going to go to the club and think that they're, oh, I'm gonna find somebody that I'm.

People go to the club all all that.

Most people they're going, most.

People are open. So this is the worst part.

You can meet somebody, But to think like, okay, well I'm you know, I'm going to find my husband.

Then why the fuck else would you be going?

You know, the younger most times if you club it. Most times when you're clubbing, you're younger. You're going out, and that's what you're doing.

You're going out, so you're just going out to throw away your life time experience.

You what I say before, yolo is not really when we're younger, you say yolo.

When you get you realized life could be long. That that life you said you only live once, but every bad ass decision you make can make that life long. And lord knows if you're wrong. You had to double back with the same dumb ass shit you went through, and you take that same dumb ass trauma into the next lifetime. See, they say you only live once, so they say, but we don't know what this motherfucker is, so you gotta live every day like you possibly might

No, But everybody has their own definition of they're fun like.

Yeah, but fun but fun but fun and happiness are cheap. They're like cheap like when because you.

Don't know most times, you don't need anything to have fun most.

Times, or to be happy. Right, But but we have convinced ourselves that we do. So we go to a place where we poison ourselves to go there, right, We poison ourselves literally. And I'm not talking shit about I mean, I mean.

You know you've been to clubs.

You've been to clubs. You just go to clubs.

You didn't drink.

And I watched a bunch of people be poisoned. And then they acting and being dumb, look like they're halfway to death leaning over on you, right, they are looking like zombies. And then they be all, I'm not.

Going no club because he would sit there people I say some deep.

Ship while you I'm not gonna say nothing there. I wouldn't. I wouldn't even dare talk to a drunk person.

No, you don't have to be drunk.

If somebody is, if somebody drinking, I'm not talking to.

Everybody is not embarrassing when they.

Every last person breathing air is embarrassing when they're poisoned.

You of course you don't drink, so you're probably like you've probably picking apart everything.

It's not picking apart. They're not themselves. That's the point. They don't even have the simple things as batter No, that.

Them being drunk might actually be themselves. They say, what do they say about the drunk? Look?

Wo when I tell you when I was, when I was just telling people just pass bad advice and bad expersons, that's one of them. People might be themselves when they drunk, when they poison themselves, you might be your real self, they say, like.

You speak your real self whatever, like a drug, a.

Drug mind speaks.

So to say that with them voka goggles you.

See, but you so, you're so, you're saying you so. In other words, you're saying people really be wholes, but not being a drunk is how they keep it in.

That's not what she said?

Is that? Roughly an idea?

That's what you said?

Oh godly right? Like you're saying like not, you know, like you're really a whole, but you be fighting when you sober, but then you drink, your true wholeness come out.

What I can't remember why I said, damn, ship, he broke down the different holes. I gotta look at that, damn. But that was funny.

I got that riding.

Drunks.

You did well. We we we we started with the conversation of why, like why would you take your mate? And I've talked to about this, like I've talked to you about this. Why would you take your spouse to a fucking club.

I'm not taking my dudes to a club. He crazy?

Why are you going in the clubs? Why are you doing these things if you have a spouse and these.

Are some of it. That was the first time.

I'm not saying it. I'm saying that's not the point though, right, I'm just saying the fracture things because it's not specifically about but it's not fun.

Just want it's.

Not just stop saying stop staying stop, because that's that's the same reason why niggas cheats. Sometimes you just want to He wanted to come. No, they the point we never want to come.

We don't know going.

That's because he's smart, Like I'm gonna go watch my bitch.

That's what it was. He had watch oh ship. I mean I didn't find out so after why do I want to go? If he think you gotta watch me, He's just not gonna let me go, not like no, not going like.

He said, Why would I Why would be stupid?

Never talked to clubs about this in my life and I know.

Exactly what you're saying.

That makes sense. Perfect, you don't want to go.

He didn't want to go, but he was like, no, you think you want by yourself.

The club is a traumatic experience for ninety percent of the people who go. They just don't know what trauma is.

Not a club, like, he's not it's.

Not, it's not he's a club. There's no such thing as he.

Does not really, it's not really special occasions he drink.

You know, people who ninety nine percent of people who don't enjoy the club don't drink. There's one percent of people who don't drink that actually enjoy the club, and they enjoy fucking bitches. Don't nobody go? Don't know. Women will tell you they go to the club to hear music. I'm telling you the facts. I'm not giving you something. Oh I'm not hating, like I'm not hating because I don't like it.

Girls stop going to the club.

God damn y'all go to the club. Every girl said, I want to go to the club because they got drinks or you could have drinks at home. I want to go to the clubs they got music when you can have music at home. Why want all that, right, But then the thing is, it don't matter why you're

Those moments where you're like, girl, remember we went here or there? But you're right, I mean, after why you'd be like there, you know what, be.

There the same trauma, the same bullshit, the same and you the same motherfucker.

What the fuck are you still here?

Nigga?

I've been going for three three and a half years. As I come back, this nigga still damn you still here?

Yes he is? You thought he was playing?

I thought, I guess not.

You thought the nigga was playing, didn't you know?

I just told Bred On the way over here. I'm like, what clubs is going on?

I have actually no idea, girl, I am out the little you know. I had the best time of my life at the Winery though.

I just saw some it's some club in Hollywood.

I had to figure it out because it's a couple of them. But I just seen.

Some videos, some photos for one that looked really fun. I just want to go and see, like what kind of music.

Not like like I know what they're playing.

I know what music they're playing, but I want to see because the last time I was in the club.

They don't dance. It's just more so everybody sitting down looking at each other.

And when you go to the older crowd, like like the TG three, like like thirty five and older, the motherfuckers still party. They still dan't. They still you know, they still mingle, but they come from that air.

You're about to bring that dance back to.

The irony? Is the coolest thing about clubs is gone? Yes, the thing that made it innocent and kind of okay for like twenty thirty forty one hundred fucking years. However long nightclub's been going, maybe seventy what's dancing? And guess the first thing.

That left rancing?

That sucks it really.

Because niggas never stopped going because you know why, because no fucking body was going to dance. It was always a lie in the first place. You know, that was just a liar. That was a lie.

You told you to get close to the women.

You want to get on some masks exactly. He was trying to get the vibe and we went.

For We went to dance like I used to carry my scringey with me and my brush of my damn purse because I'm gonna come I already knew I'm gonna come in there in my hair like fuck it up. My shit was gonna be fucked up by the end the night. Dance all night, I guess all night.

Yeah, But again, like I might go into a crack spot to watch the super Bowl for real, like I've went to my homeboys Crackspot and watched the Super Bowl. But if the police raid, I'd be hard pressed to go in there and say, hey, you know, I see customers coming in and out buying cracking. I'm watching the game like nothing going on, and then the police rad I was like, well, I came to watch the game.

You going to jail.

Yep, you going to jail, going to jail. I don't care why you went. I don't care if you went to dance. I don't care if you went to just drink. I don't care if you want to just hear music. I don't care if you want to celebrate your fucking funky ass friend birthday. The niggas are there to hunt.

But we just because they're there to hunt don't mean you know it's going to celebrate our friend.

Leave us alone. We're not talking to you, just enjoying.

That's just a horrible music.

Guys don't even you don't have to worry about that now because guys don't even approach you.

But to me, the fact that y'all still can get past that and make like that don't matter. It's just a which is the point of what I'm saying. The issues in society is it's literally delusional and ridiculous and selfish. The way y'all think it is horrible, not like horrible as humans, but like like you're like, well, even though every nigga here is trying to fuck, that don't mean I gotta fuck. Why would you want to put them? I'm asking you? Why the fuck would you put yourself

Because they want to fuck you don't mean you can't be somewhere the fuck. That's not your problem that that person want to fuck you.

Why would you want to be there when that's the energy.

I could go anywhere a motherucker might want to fuck me, so it doesn't matter.

So would you go to a klu Klux Clan bar because you wanted to fucking drink?

Want to?

You might want to do something to me afterwards, but he still might want to tap that.

I'm asking you, So would you go to a klu Klux Clan bard to have a drink because you like drinking? So then what the fuck? Why does it make sense there? But that's because you don't dislike the attention no I'm giving you I'm giving you obvious.

To be way over here, you have to go well, and of course nobody's gonna go to kou clus that I'm black. Why would I go to kuklus here bar?

Because you like drinking, bro, because you love drinking bro.

Because you like alcohol, love drinking.

What if they got three dollars hennessy shot?

Now I don't know that ain't worth it?

Okay? What's your drink.

And where is it?

Okay? So what if they got what if they got that little vase, that vase tequila and they got six dollars shots that that you know, that tequila that costs two hundred dollars, It.

Don't matter that, Like I don't she.

Ain't so because the reality is all I've tried to get you guys to explain, was you like the fucking attention and you like turning it fucking down. So why don't you fucking be honest and say it to niggas so they could actually make it quite a decision about who you are and if they want to be invested

They know what time it is, bang bang exactly.

You feel me, They know that you bring your ass up in here. You know what's going happening.

Listen, I'm not doing I listen.

It's funny that you can't see these obvious truths for the sake of just thirsty.

I get it, just.

Thirsty, and I swear to God, I'm not saying it's not just y'all. Listen, I'm not singling out y'all. I'm telling you women as a gender, women as a gender. You guys are completely thirsty, and it's fucking horrible that you need this much thirst And I don't know if it's our faught or God's fault. I don't know if God made y'all thirsty, like as a as a gender,

They're fully covered. Why the fuck would you go there?

So my homie invited me to the fucking game, So I'll just take her out to dinner. A Super Bowl game.

Because Super Bowl game, because he does not I'm not thirsty, so he doesn't see I'm not.

You're not who you to be thirsty going to the super Bowl crackhouse.

I'm not. I get it because it's a fucking crackhouse. I care about when I was ignorant and dumb and I told you. The difference is, I'm not lying, and I'm not trying to explain why it makes sense, like I'm not trying to find it.

Be thirsty.

I was no, yes, because I wanted to hang around my homeboard. I wanted to be in my hood. I'm a fucking rapper with a fucking multi a million dollar, multi million dollar deal and I'm sitting in a fucking crackhouse watching the game because I still want to be Glasses from Seventh Street every day. The difference is I know it, and I'm just telling you, like it's a thirst like women naturally are thirsty. You guys wear ship for strangers to compliment you. You're thirsty, and it's okay.

Defining blame y'all. I think it's God we didn't care about bbls and fucking all this extra ship trying to look like the next girl. Like what's his name just said I was the first one to put a woman for with a BBO. We talk about Buffy the body and all stuff like that. So we're seeing all this ship and all this. But I'm saying, but I'm that's stupid. But I'm saying, we're seeing this, and we're seeing that

Why would you want to be at a Like everybody in the crack house ain't necessarily buying or selling crack. They could be watching the game too, So what the fuck difference did that make when a police raid the house? Why would you be somewhere so unsavory? What is wrong with you? I mean now, I mean ever in your every in your life, like ever in your life? Why would be?

Before I was younger, like you said, I was young and I didn't get.

So why are you defending it now?

I'm I'm saying, like, what's the problem though? I mean, it's not nothing.

You just thirsty, thirsty? You take your thirsty ass somewhere. If I take my thirsty ass to a crack house today right now, knowing what I got to lose to watch the Super Bowl game, I got everything my stupid ass got coming to me because we could take already somewhere else and watch the goddamn.

Gay Basically, if you go the club and you meet a guy and he do you wrong, you was thirsty and at home, well you know what he's thinking. Can't be aske at home? Why would you talking to a guy? Agent said, I don't even I already know what time it is. When niggas in the club, I don't talk to do.

Except you literally participated, did it? Of course you have. You met niggas in the club and you knocked them down before. Now I'm not saying you knocked them down the same night. I'm saying, but you met guys that was looking for girls to knock down, and then you knocked them down. You became a part of the statistics. That was Yes, that was the point of it. That's

Yeah.

But again it goes back to the but it goes back to the point of what I'm saying initially, Right, we're not you nigga. You are the bearer. You bring life into the universe. Why would you compare yourself?

You and you can have your dirty dick and bring or whatever the fuck. So it don't matter.

The difference is your silly ass is not doing it. So your nigga could be a fuck up, but you shouldn't be a fuck up because it's your fucking body, it's your property. It's the way somebody else treat your car, so way you supposed to treat your care. You shouldn't be treating your car the way a motherfucker that don't respect cars treat cars.

Keep that thing right. You never know.

Jesus Christ.

Blame the I P A man. I told you she gave me I P A. I never had this. It's just bomb.

What's that same right?

That ain't right, y'all?

So you're just poisoned now.

I'm poisoned tonight and I ain't at the club. I'm at the studio, not at the club.

Good looking out for tuning into The note Seller's podcast. Please do us a favorite, subscribe, rate, comment, and share. This episode was recorded right here on the West coast of the USA and produced by my homeboys A King for the Black Effect Podcast Network and now heard Radio Yeah