Conversations About Blended Families

What's up?

And welcome back to another episode of No Sealer's podcast with your host, Now fuck that with your load glasses, Malone, Why y'all today?

Like I know, I haven't seen you on like a couple of weeks because you've been like.

I haven't been broached, I haven't been globe trotting.

I haven be'ten gloved trotting. But before that, we were waiting for mister G who has been on a tour and traveling. That's not my leg, my leg, my leg of commission.

It's been making it funny.

So even with me doing shows, it's weird because like I even when my leg hurt, I can't do something the next day, Like it's taking as crazy is everybody's convincing me that I'm healing fashion and normal, but I feel like it's taken forever.

Are you you bending? Actually like more than a yeah yeah, But it's messed up.

It's messed up because like if I'm on the plane and I'm been in at ninety degrees and I hold it too long, like it starts swelling and I can feel.

It ship, especially because the elevation.

Maybe that makes sense. I never thought about it like that.

But ship, I could be in the back of an uber if the car too small. You know what I'm saying, Like that's I can feel it. I gotta get in the front. So it's embarrassing the riding in the front seat of an uber.

You're still doing therapy.

Yeah, yeah, but this week I only went once. Why doing ship?

You got to stay up on that. Yeah, No, I know you don't.

Jiminy cript. You want to be like the last script.

Why it's read on the day.

Well, let's just say he had like two shots.

Two shots, y'all drinking.

Two shots patron that nigga clear.

And we don't even just we don't even drink patron no more so.

So tell me why y'all thought I was done with y'all. You said I was done with y'all.

No, I said, asia thought thought was why did Red think I would be done with y'all?

Why?

Well, for one, I mean, damn, it's like ever so, and you know you just kind of wasn't really like responding like.

You, I wasn't talking to me. Who was we talking to y'all wasn't saying nothing.

See, we wasn't saying that he wanted to hear.

I wasn't saying y'all would say good morning, and I'd be like, good morning.

No, Asia asked you stuff in there?

I think I have no so I can't lie, like sometimes I really just don't know, Like if you don't sometimes.

Why are you like the why why is it that? Like you really like just don't get things like why is it like you are the most direct person to where it's like I have to say like this.

Like this because I am a direct person. Why other than that, you jump to conclusions all the time. You always jump to conclusions. One thing I've been trying to master as an adult is not jumping to conclusions.

You are an adult now, right, So you.

Work your ass off to like let people tell you.

And if you know me, like y'all know me for years, you know me, you know me, like you can tell me what you want. You can say, glasses, I want a million dollars. You can tell me that and we can have a conversation. So I expect people who know me to tell me.

Okay, I get that, but gee, like there's things that you know you're like I know they're saying this, but because they haven't said it, I don't hear it.

No, that's not.

Yes, it's not.

Honestly, I have made up my mind. Me and here talked about this years ago. I was not in the business of hearing people. I listen to people to hear somebody clinically. My Nigga Lo Diggs always taught me this. But to hear somebody clinically is to acknowledge sound, right, And that's why when somebody's not listening to you and they're hearing you, it's like you'll say something that, well, it sounds like you said because they're acknowledging the sound

Because you want to hear well, because I'm here, because I don't want to hear.

Okay, No, he just don't want to search shit. He just like whatever.

There's nothing in life that I don't want to come back. I love to combat everything in life. I love to walk into everything in life, eyes open, true. If you tell me, if you tell me what the fuck is going straight up, eyes open, should me, I'm fucking with it.

But they can have that conversation.

But you're not reading between the lines at all, not at all.

No, not okay, I get you, not today or straight direct line tomorrow. Some people say like, oh, you don't want to hear that. No, I really do want to hear that. Like I love it when a person is direct and tell me because I don't like to assume.

You're But my thing is like you're you're paying attention to me, and that's enough to understand what it is I'm saying, like you care enough to like figure it out, and you just.

It's not a mystery, like we're humans, right, it's a baby.

You have to figure it's a mystery if you're saying, oh, I didn't know, mystery.

Because at that point, somebody's not saying something. They're just making They want me to feel something they're giving off. But then feelings and emotions are confusing because everything goes in your mind right when you feel first off, no Siller's jail red bread Toms on this Friday, King. But if I'm listening to you, you can tell me. But if I'm acknowledging the sound if I'm trying to understand

Right, people don't. That's the whole thing. Like people don't like to hear no, or the possibility.

That's the right you still don't. I don't like it. I don't care. I'm gonna be real. I don't like that.

Ship I like it.

I don't think I like it either, but I think it's better to get a note. And it's people right now to this day that will not give.

Me a note.

What they say, I don't know.

They'll be like, well, you know later on, be like, bro, no, I'm not saying no, but.

Gee, sometimes you may not want to say now. You may want to try to figure something out because it's somebody that you fuck with. Like if I fuck with you like you you hit me and you say, hey, I need you to do something, I'm gonna be like, okay, well what you need? If you tell me, I'm be like okay, well, ship, I might have to do this. Well, let me try to figure it out. But that's because I fuck with you. Now, if you, as a person I wasn't fucking with, I'd probably be like.

Me, figure it out. No, no, no, lot me figure it out. Don't tell me about the calculator. Time, figure it out.

You're right about that.

Don't tell me I need to figure it out.

It like if we're gonna do it.

If my family says, glasses, I need to borrow money, it's gonna be no or yes. If it's gonna be yes. It's like if I go do it tomorrow, yes, I will do it tomorrow. It's not well, let me think about it, let me consider it. I'm not you know what I mean, And I'm not mad at nobody else that forces you to read between the lines. I'm just not great at it. I've been entirely too long in

I'll be looking dumb.

I don't that I know. I know we just experienced that. You just did. Crush grew yes.

A prime example exactly so the realcty. I'm glad we talked about that because crush Groove is something so most people don't know this. Shout out to my nigga Ad. I came up with the idea for crush Groove.

And.

These are my ideas that I gave to my partner Ad. AD used to be the PDA K I'm sitting at AD's office and I'm like, you know, at that time, KD was trying to put together like one of those summer jams, so he was trying to book the newest artist, but k was only playing classic music.

And I was like, man, you don't really got to do that.

You know, he was going a new artist and these new artists who couldn't sell a thousand hard tickets. It's off time about fifty thousand dollars, and I'm like, man, you don't really need to fuck with them. You should just go get all the legends. He was like, man, I don't think people want to come out and see all these legends. I'm like, yes, they will. He said,

It's like a time machine.

Yes.

And we talked about it a little longer and I convinced him and he did the first one and it was like a sellout. It was huge writing it was big and he was like, damn, you was right, and I'm like, you know.

It was other ideas we talked about.

I had the idea called clicks, where it was like I wanted to do a concert. I was telling him, you know, I'm not a promoter. This is my boy. I don't need no much disce for him. I'm like, we should do like reviews. Motown used to do this thing called the Motown Review where they take all their acts on the road. I'm like, yo, we should do this thing called clicks and it's cash money and no limits.

Okay, that was another idea. So it was one of them.

But long story short, it was great when it first started. When I would do it, you know what I mean, because AD ran to itself in kd Ad sold the show to.

Live Nation.

Now I don't know if he wants people to notice, but I think it's on the fucking tickets. So people know sold the concert to Live Nation, and now it's getting different. So normally I would put a press list together, it'd be no problem. Now the stay of the forum is making different rules. They're like, okay, well we're not letting people do podcasts here, and then if it's media passes,

I'm like, you know, shit that happens easy. Was hard even before that.

Like one of the hardest problems for those concerts is, you know, everybody from the West would bring one hundred people, so you know, the backstage passes became a problem. But you know, I've realized the best thing to do is get tickets. And AD would be like, hey, gee, just tell whoever you want to come fuck the backstage, telling them I just give them tickets. Right, So normally, if I had brought twenty people, you know, the fucking form

Tickets for eight or twelve shit, So I.

Had to spend six hundred dollars in tickets to make sure the people I told to come to get in. So not only did I not get y'all in, I didn't get in Cheese who actually you know, Roll managed the La Giants. Then I spent a bunch of money for other people to get in, right, Like people who I got tickets for, they struggled, they had to buy tickets.

It was like it was a night.

Man, it was crazy, but you got out there, did you know?

Yeah, it served it, but it was just it was I don't like that, you know what I mean? That makes me feel really differ feed it. So it fucked my night up. Like I'm that kind of person if I tell you to do something that don't come through.

Yeah. No, we didn't even talk to you until like it was like the day after you were just like yeah, I could tell like.

Yeah, the next day my leg was hurting. I was super defeated.

I didn't even do nothing then, Like I'm like, damn, you know, you get paid for the show, but you spend ten percent in fucking tickets.

It's crazy.

Then you know, my people that I brought to come didn't get in. It just it made me not as you know, And I couldn't blame a d I understand Live Nation is everybody's doing anything. The Forum got their own thing going on Live Nation. Everybody trying. So I just kind of let it go. But you know, I got it done and it was dope. You know, I thought the La Johns did a good job. They wasn't

You're talking to somebody.

I like to focus on someone when I'm talking, like, hey, how.

You doing when I'm rapping, Like I'll be rapping to a girl in the front row and.

She'll just be blushing, right.

Feel me like a girl be blushing in the front row, like blushing right I'm singing.

And so that's what y'all do. So y'all really do.

Look, I always wonder that like artists, you know, you see them on stage and they you know, I don't.

Think a lot of artists do it. I do it.

You do it, like I make sure the whole show is a conversation. If I'm talking crazy.

So what about it if it's somebody that you know in the audience, Like, if there's someone you know in the audience, would you go more so to them? Or is it just kind of like whoever catches your eye at that time?

It's really who catches my eye.

I mean, if somebody I know, I give them something, But I ain't gonna give them as much I'm gonna give a stranger because you're trying to whoop a stranger. I mean, you want a stranger to get on Instagram and follow you listen to the song? Like so if I'm doing like girl songs, you know what I mean. I'm talking about fucking and eating. Like I'm talking to a woman whatever you like?

She like, ain't talking to me, y'all see him? He was talking to me, yes, looking.

He was really talking to somebody something like that.

What you do?

But what did you do?

What did you do?

It?

Stage?

They still on stage?

Okay, I ain't taking nobody draw like I'm not. I'm not serious.

But when I'm up on stage rapping. I'm serious right then and there. I'm really tell you what I would do to you once to cut off.

It's like entertainment. It's entertainment, bitch, what you're doing?

Like women that do that, they be outside and they just be like, oh, I'm gonna take my pennies off, girl because I want.

To throw it.

In their perse and be like, okay, let me fling it.

Man.

I done had girls, I mean probably double you know we started talking about me, not like jay Z or nothing, but I'm talking about probably twenty thirty girls getting my DM after a show and be like what's up?

Like it's crazy okay.

And me like he was talking to me and I just saw you looking at me.

Let me see, I've never tried, like I'm lying.

I did.

I did make a guy down once, just one.

Time, one time, and I was like oh because he was so fine and he had some nice arms and ship and I was like, damn, like I cannot.

You have to say nothing, girl, I did. I walked over to him.

Did he say was he rapping? Was no?

He was the artist?

He was gone saying like I've never He's saying that people have got into the dms.

Like me personally, I never really tried to get out of guy.

But one time like where I really was like damn, like I like you like I can where you've been off that ship happened.

To me a lot of times.

And girls you be talking to her and she like, oh this nigger for sure. Oh yeah, and then like I'm not feel to really go through with it. It's like no matter what the circumstance is mean, but.

They don't know. But they don't know, and that's and that's it. And that's because they don't understand that it's entertainment.

Something you listen.

It had been some girls where you be like, oh, yeah, she's definitely. I was surprised a couple of them did it. They was like holy ship, Like oh she wanted to give me some pussy. You know, you rapping it, But.

You did it.

You did it the only time I was gonna do it.

You never did it.

Never, not not from the rapt. I didn't bust a broad concert before, but like not if she got in my d M.

After got because you know it from the concert.

Like I didn't been somewhere backstage and met a girl.

You you.

Okay, like a girl I'll be rapping to, like I might be rapping to a girl like I didn't facing and the down Yeah, I see it, like I didn't did some ship like like you know Eddie Kane Jr.

Where a girl being with a dude, you know what I mean? And I'm going and she just like looking like yeah, what that doing?

She starting she forgot the shot some girls with that ship, especially that good especially that good you feel me and like girl and jumping the d ms and.

Had to do there who was on boys? She was like, Oh, that's my home boy.

How you said.

That?

Good?

Y'all funny, that's a keeler got y'all. I'm gonna we're gonna keep the killing in next time.

Keep that patron in here that we ain't gonna because I'm telling y'all some real life stories and then we do.

Yeah, Okay, I like what you say. We like you about the party.

Okay, Okay, So that f is telling me, so you so you were telling me that tell me about blended family.

This is what you start that off. No, No, I mean blend blended families is like, so you came into a blended family and they're they're adults like they're they're grown, you know what I'm saying. So it's hard because of course you love your husband, your man who you're with. You want your children and them to have a relation, you know what I'm saying, to have a relationship. But

Is you think is that a woman thing? Because I don't think it's a man thing.

Is it not? I don't know.

I don't think those.

Be like they meet a girl and you know he finna be grandfather, be a grandmother too.

You know what, You're right about it.

Okay, so my dude, he has already one grandchild and he has one on the way, and I don't have no grandkidsrandmother, so I'm like, I got a.

Grand baby coming.

But you're right, I thought about it, like fuck if we was to break up and ship.

Like I mean, but honestly.

I would.

With with her with the person, right, But like you said, but it wouldn't that still wouldn't be my grandbaby.

But like he said, maybe that's like a guy thing because apparently why.

I think, I think women naturally want you to feel because I mean, let's be honest, men have family, women have children, so the kids be you alls now, don't could be wrong. Some men are super dadsby I Trie a real super dad. I mean, like he don't care what his ex wife is doing. He is coming to get his baby. This motherfucker drive to San Diego every other week.

That's that's far.

That's far. That's that's every week and.

Every other every so he's driving there every other week. Then he's taking her back home every other.

Like so he keeps him for a week, keeps her for a week.

Yeah, then he drives back home and then like and then he has to go to like she's like, this is my little this is my god baby.

So like this is my other guy baby.

So like she's in equestrian class, like with the horses, she plays soccer.

So he drives down, he has her for the week or just those times.

I'm talking about, he has heard for a week and then.

That's exactly.

So basically he goes basically every Weekendamn.

Near probably go out there every three days.

Listen, he's a parent.

That's not the mom is not a parent. She's a fucking asshole. Why why the fuck would you take his baby two hours? Forgive me, if she heard that she.

Lived in the city and moved out there, maybe for a better, better situation. That's the point of why it's a better situation. You never know.

That's what she's saying. It's not our kid.

What do you mean it's not our kid?

He's saying, because she can. A person can jump up and start a new life somewhere, and then basically they would have to come that way like he has to. They have to Basically, Yeah, it's kid, But listen.

Two hours away.

Because I didn't tell my kid to go two hours you know, told her that her fucking real parent. That's why it's not my kid. If I can't tell you because I wouldn't let my kid move to San Diego. Why the fuck would I let my kid that I'm the parent, moved to San Diego, San Diego?

She would They're grown, they're moving to San Diego now, they have.

Kids, and I'm saying I wouldn't let Let's say if I was.

My baby, mama.

If it's my child, I wouldn't let my child be two hours away from me if I'm a parent, But you make a decision that's based off for you.

But if you guys aren't together.

That don't matter.

I'm still a parent, it doesn't, but you guys aren't in the same household together. So she still has she has to. She's taking care of her child the best way that she can, and so she's saying, I'm gonna move to San Diego if you decide that you don't want to move out there, just like if she moved out of state and you don't want to go bust, this is what may happen.

Why if it's my kid.

Because this is what may happen because guess what, it may be.

Hard because it's your kid.

This is our kid.

No it's not, because if it was my kid, I would have saved.

So see, you're missing the point.

Like he gets what you're saying, but he's basically trying to make a point that like.

But that doesn't have anything to do a blended fan because this can happen with if you guys had a kid and she decided to say, I'm gonna move to San Diego. That's not a blended family. Your baby, mama, it's moving. I'm just saying if you are.

But a lot of blended families happen because somebody takes the kid to San Diego. That's why you have blended families, because somebody is deciding that the father is not gonna be involved.

And I get it.

You know, this podcast is gonna be really special because some women is gonna feel some kind of way. And I understand it as a mother. My mom was you know, my mom didn't have my biological pops.

Get me to help. Thank God for my dad, you know, rased me as long as I can remember and show me, you know, like a man could just love you.

So your biological father wasn't in your life.

No, I never talked to.

The man that this whole time that I've known as your father is not your father.

He's my father, he's your father.

But he's not the So do you know you're biological I.

Just talked to him probably like uh, for the first time in twenty twenty. Really, how did Yeah, conversation is gonna be crazy. So my brother right didn't like the relationship that I have with our dad who raised me?

Is that his father?

Yes, that's so he made him.

But again you say it's this is a weird conversation because my dad would cuts me out if I say this is this is my father. But he made him right, So he doesn't.

Well, he's told me this. He doesn't like the relationship that we're super close. Me and my dad is like Dicky.

Stage this nigga's my favorite human being on earth to me, like I love this nigga. He's like, I love you, like he's just everything. He don't like the relationship is so strong, Like he's like, oh you know he had grown up.

He's like, that's my you know.

My dad even told him like it's different, like y'all, I didn't have no choice with y'all. Like me and him, we chose each other, you know. I mean, it's it's a different bond. And so he goes and find my biological.

Who did your brother?

Yes?

Wow, as if it would cause where it's between me and my dad.

Like this is your daddy. So what happened?

Nothing?

So you so he found the dad, You found your dad.

It's not yes, and found my biological.

Okay, so you you found your biological where'd you find him?

Where I didn't find him? He found me? And where he got my number? Ship? I think you live in Vegas?

So he called you, yes, and what was that? Like nothing? He called you and said, so.

This is a this is a much more complex conversation, right, because so my bi logical parents, his family started reaching out to me in twenty.

Eighteen because they knew. They say, you look like this.

Well it was my name and then some other which is crazy, right, because it's a cousin I got, right, it's a young male cousin I got. And then he plugged me with my elder cousin on that side, like no. And before that I thought, you know, motherfucker' be just lying. I'm like, man, this motherfucker don't know me.

And then she start the elder cousin started telling me about my mom and so that's how they got in. So we talking.

But I still had never even talked to cousin or her from because till my little brother goes and finds this nigga and gives me my number and he tells me. So when we talk, it was like weird, It's like, oh, what's up? And it was during the pandemic, and we just started talking and we just talked. Wasn't nothing. I really didn't.

Man, I'm a grown I'm forty years old. Like I'm not asking no man about you know.

I know how Trust me, if I've never when I was younger, I might have looked at it crazy, But I know how nigg could not be around their kids fucking with their old ladies.

Now my mom, for me, ain't no joke.

And in their situation, you know, he told my mom he wasn't ready for no kid. You know, I don't know if my mom told him she was pregnant, but he told her that, like I ain't trying to have no kids. So my mom was like, okay, I'm gonna raise my baby on this. Like I'm not tripping.

You know.

My mom was a nurse. She was getting some coin and she found a dad. So we just.

Started talking and ever since we've been talking and it's cool. You know what I'm saying. I don't think, I mean, nobody could replace my dad. My dad is my favorite person. So that's really how it happened.

Do you see like talking to your dad or getting when you're mad, Like do you see similarities between the two of you.

Uh, do you good at math? Like I'm good at math? I mean I haven't still met him.

Still, do you guys plan?

I think so.

You look like him.

I never seen him.

You haven't even seen a picture.

Why would I see him? Send me a picture, nigga you have.

I'm not saying it.

I'm not a man, so I don't know.

I would never tell a nigga to send me a picture. I s I don't.

He was my great grandfather. You don't see me no pictures, no pictures, no niggas in my phone.

So do you have any other siblings from him?

Yeah? So his son, right is a dude that be on the scene.

Oh ship related?

Yeah, so he knew before you even reached out to your dad.

Yeah, we met before we met, before I ever talked to him. Wow, do y'all look like he's just shorter than me.

He's shorter, taller, I mean not tall, but stockey like.

No, he's he's kind of more fit like man, I mean, I don't know, like we talking and bill like, but it's my dad, Like my dad is my guy.

So like what your brother? So now that you you didn't met your dad, that child, So it didn't change anything. What what's your sowhere?

You keep calling this nigga my dad. This nigga's not my dad.

So you met the sperm dinner donor and then you have your dad and your brother linked you with the sperm donors.

So these are two different things. This is way crazy, right, So you missed the two brothers. So my brother that's my mom's son, is the one that went found because okay, his kid, my biological parents kid, right, is the nigga who actually I met him on the scene and my cousin who would be my cousin plugged me with him.

He was like a kid I don't really talk to because about.

His family like that, you know what I mean, because we're still talking, like you know what I mean. We don't talk a lot, but like it's just weird, like but it's hard because.

Pop is my guy.

Did he did he remarry?

Yeah? Yeah, but he had been so he had been married forever.

So so was he married when he when he was with your mom?

No that was long. Yeah, No, you didn't get married.

To after later? So you right in California though, No, he's in Vegas.

They are in California, the Cousins and everybody.

Else they like, they like that side of the like that my biological parents side of the family like that.

Them motherfuckers is huge.

They got they got this thing because they do call it the Cousins Night and they be like fifty of them like that's yeah, it's it's weird. I mean it's it's a really weird dynamic. But I mean to me, it's just talking to him, Like I think any man that you know, felt like they missed out on the on the kids life, they it's it's gonna be a guilt. And he didn't kind of pretty much you know, made it where he let me know like you know, to some degree you feel guilty, and I'm like, it ain't that.

Like, but it'sabled for you guys. Are you open to building that relationship? Yeah, we talk, We talked to see him.

I don't plan it, it's just what that happened. I'm just not as important I don't think. I think it's just be timing, you know what I'm saying, Like it'll work out when it is.

So you haven't been to Vegas since you guys have connected.

Sure, but I'm not going like I ain't went out there to hang.

And I don't think it's just proper like I'm going to do a music video like hey, what you're doing?

Come by the video? That ain't really player.

This man had grown up, right, so it's like, you know he ain't not no, no, my dad ain't never came.

To mind, got uncles? Does he have a siblings?

He got a lot of siblings. His uncle was little Richard like biological uncle.

Wow, thet it's the music, you know.

All that's cool. You gotta work for this ship. Ain't no gene work to be at this raph this record ship.

True, But I don't.

Know just the concept of blended families. It is just a lot like I think, like you don't know how you gonna feel like you gotta let the relationships develop and then you can't really replace.

Nobody's you know what I mean. And I'm not saying you should be trying.

It's not trying to But then how could it truly be a blended family.

It's me.

I have a really the relationship between me and my stepfather and my stepmother, like those are my parents. You know. My my stepmom hasn't been with my dad in years, probably like over I think it's like seven eight years. But she still is in contact with my children. She calls them her grandchildren. They have a relationship like it didn't change anything. Same like how long was they together too? I mean, yeah, I met when I was So it's.

Different if you build now you if you raised somebody for like my dad, it does matter because my dad raised me my whole life. My brother's been my brothers my whole life, my family and my family. So it's different, like it ain't no like you could bring like my little brother could bring anybody.

Around, but that's where that's where the new family members. So that new baby that's born within that blended family. Different is your relationship with that baby because you've been.

But now if you raised but let's say now you raised that baby for thirty years, maybe the baby looks at you like that, but you but you just you have to have that dynamic. But again, it's just it's a tough out.

That's the thing.

Let me tell y'all something that my mom's ex yeah, a lot of children, and like they would always be like, oh, you should go hang out with your sister. And I'm like, that's not my sister, not like that. It wasn't even like she was cool as fuck, but that wasn't my sister. So I get what he's saying.

Older. Yeah, I'm older.

I'm older already my son already, Like what six weird?

I just think that sh is weird and creepy when people do that, you start fucking my parents are You're like, oh you're.

Yeah.

It was like they're like you should hang No, like.

It just got.

To be there. I mean maybe eventually over time because of the relationship just naturally, yeah, over.

Time, like we like you say, for instance, like you're like July or something like that.

But that's the thing that.

Little babies, like the baby that's that's different.

It could work out that way and they don't have to work out that way, Like it got to work out, gotta work itself out. I do think women push too hard to try to make it work out, but I think it just gotta work out that way, Like the relationship gotta be there and it just gotta work that way.

And see, it's opposite for me because I mean the relationship. I mean, if you're if if my husband is having i mean their children is having a child. This is he's excited about his grandchild, you know. So I'm meeting this baby fresh like no, like this he's just knowing me from the jump, Like I think that I can build that bond with that child.

How do they introduce you? You know, does does Let's say if let's say if it's let's say it's your husband, you married and your husband has a grand baby, okay, and he don't introduce this like, oh, this is your grandmother, right Okay, whatever you thought is not that's my man.

This is my girl right here, I'm your grandfather, but this is my girl. So I.

It's framed and then everybody would have to keep the same thing. But really it's just a mind you build with.

The g I think it's the relationship that you build with the kid, and of course the kid's parents.

It depends on how the parents frame the kid to you. So because if they have a relationship, let's say they have a relationship with their.

Own father and the father is there. I don't know, why do you?

Okay, so I'll say okay, so I'll say this. So my ex husband, I have step children, one of my step daughters or you know, she's pregnant and they just did the Ginger Reveal. She included me in the Ginger reveal. I'm excited that the baby is coming. Me and her

But see it's the point.

I wouldn't feel a.

Certain but I think you would feel some type of way.

For her, because if you about baby, I.

Would feel some type of way if because that's my baby and I'm not and you.

Know, he has multiple kids, so with her, You're right, I probably would feel a certain type of way. He has another daughter who has a child, who had a child. I think the baby's like two, and she didn't include me at all, and I I didn't feel a certain type of way. But me and her don't have that type of relationship as with the oldest with her, so I guess yeah.

And she even she's even told me like I don't care, like that's my brother and that's not talking about you know, like that's my brother and my sister.

So like my son, which is not her biological brother. He's like, She's like, that's my brother, you know. They so they all have their own relationship. So, but I've been in her life. I've been.

So when you was married to him, you already had rolling.

I already had Roland and Tyler, and then my husband, my husband had two kids already.

Yeah, she had a.

Real life blended Yeah they had she he had two kids already.

And that when they be like, they know you be doing specially for Tyler and Roland.

I don't.

Well, I wouldn't do stuff them.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't do stuff special for them. I really wouldn't.

So y'all just lying.

I'm dead serious.

I hate when parents.

Act like they I am dead serious.

Parents act like they don't got a favorite I never.

Had, I never had to worry about any type of favorite, like she's they're like what at least ten year twelve years apart.

Like I was, ask them, who do you think is my favorite? I bet you they both have an actual idea?

Who is my favorite?

I bet you they both have.

My two kids.

Yes, I bet you if you ask.

My son and my daughter because.

Parents automatically, because parents automatically feel.

Like and I bet you, I bet.

If you ask them who is your favorite? They have an answer.

My sorry, my son would probably my son would probably say my daughter, and my daughter would probably say my son.

No, no, it's not they're gonna both have the same idea.

I don't think so.

I think they both they both gonna have one idea.

They both don't think they're gonna think it's I'm telling you, no, I don't think so.

Wait no, I don't think so. Well.

And it's different boys, because they're very different. They're they're two different. Everybody's different, of course, I'm doing parents, but they are very they are just very different. Like Tyler is her own person, of course, but she's just different from my son and maybe that son and daughter. Now I don't know, I have my daughter, newest baby, Nala, and she's she is different from Tyler. But I don't know. I love them just different.

I appreciate you.

I love them all the same, but differently. I really don't.

I really won't pay ever, tell the truth. I can't stand you. I like your sister more.

No, that's there are times when I can't stand either one of them. No, girl, have you ever.

Just not liked?

Sure? But if you have a favorite.

No, I don't.

I just have one.

I really do.

So you know, we just we rock, We just rock.

But you know what he used to always say he didn't want a brother or sister either. Up all the time, I be like, you want a brother or sister? Be like no, Nope. At a time, be like, oh you don't want me.

No.

I remember when I said you want me to have a baby, so you have a little sister brother. He was like, why would you do that? I was like what It was like, No, mom, you're tripping and room.

Why would he want to share you?

Yeah?

My mom? My little brother was my mom favorite all time.

I talked to but I talked to my daughter every day. My son, I feel he's a boy. I think that's just how guys are. He calls me on his off days. So I talked to my son like once a week. I talked to my daughter every day. And if I don't talk to her, she's calling me or I'm calling.

Her, like K style. K style was my mom's favorite, like that was her favorite. And she argued me down there that niggas not my favorite, blah blah blah.

She was telling me how she gave me the whole spilled rest or, so she probably like fucking shit, but she was like, you know, y'all needed me different, and she told she always tell me this story, like she always tell me this story, like where I remember the story. I was like nine, and at that time, you would order books out of the Bernstein beers.

So you had a little stupid newspaper and you strike it.

And she came to my room and she found a newspaper and it was like six books checked off, remember them books was like three dollars.

Or four dollars the books.

And she was like, I'm not buying these books for you. The hell you check it off books for it wasn't like that.

She just was like, you just spending my money and I'm like, no, I got this money, I went and cut lines with my homeboy, Kobe's dad, you know, shout out to call you Kobe b on Facebook At the time. One of my child protnanty like y'all was cutting lines with Kobe's dad. So I had like forty seven dollars. She like, I was gonna buy myself and she was like she just shook her head and walked off, And she brought that story up when I told her she was his favorite. She was like, Nigga, you ain't never

She said. Kate Vincent go to jail. K still go to jail. She said, when every time you go to jail, you gonna call her the first day.

So how old were you when your mom passed?

That was probably like thirteen years ago, thirteen was in jail thirteen years ago.

Thirteen years ago, thirty thirty.

First time my mom went to jail, I was twelve, okay, but she was saying that. She was like, your kids need you differently like they do.

My daughter, my son needs me differently than my daughter needs me totally. It's different. So yeah, there's I love them the same, you don't, but I love them. I mean, I love them. My heart is equal to both of them. But of course I love them differently. I have to handle them differently.

So then that means you don't love them the same.

I don't love them the same. I guess I don't love them the same, but I love them the same amount.

I love them both.

I love them both the same amount. I love you just as much as I love you, and I.

Love you your parents love you the same as all your people.

Yes, my mama loved me favorite. I think that's how I like.

My mom always says that I'm I'm not she knows, no, she knows. She says she doesn't worry about me as much, but she knows that I'm the more like sensitive one, which is weird because we're looking at my brothers, like really, but she says I'm more like the sweeter, like sensitive one or whatever, and I'm like, what really?

Like Okay, but.

Nah, I don't my mom like our my my brother we all have different relationship with our mom. Like my sister talks to my mom every day. I talk to my mom. We checking at least like three or four times a week. I'm not really sure how many times my mom talks to my brother. My brother has like a whole wife in San Diego, you know, but she do say like she did, be like, y'all come see me.

He don't.

But my brother has been making his way and you know everything like that bro.

He lives in the same he lives thirty minutes away. Tyler is away at school across the country. You know. I see her every day on FaceTime. My son I talked to talk to him once a week.

My son lives in the same house with me. He only comes outside to eat out.

You see him. You know, I don't really see like I said.

That could be in the room, like what dinner done? Are you smelling me here? I'll be cooking there. He'd be like, ooh, what's that Mom? What you cook and smell good? I really need you in the room all day. You come on sight picking what you cooking?

Good?

Looking out for tuning into the Note Sellers podcast, Please do us a favorite, subscribe, rate, comment, and share. This episode was recorded right here on the West coast of the USA. Produced by my homeboys, a King for the Black Effect podcast network and now hard Radio.

Yeah.